"Could I come home?"
"And then it will be."
"Like I've never been gone." "Sha-la-la"
"Can't you hear me?"
"Like I've never been gone."
Don't squeeze it like that. Save that for your husband, girl.
All right, girl? Nice to see yer.
I tell yer, Charlie's the one, he's gorgeous!
The most lovely hair.
- What you having, love? - Nice big cucumber, please.
I'll take five shillings.
Oh..!
Argh. Oh, my God.
Half a crown on John O'Dowd, please.
- Right, thank you. Yes. - Yes.
- Ten bob on 'Dowd please. - All right.
- Seven and six on Benn.
Ten bob on O'Dowd, please.
Pound on O'Dowd.
Seven and six on Benn.
Ten bob on Benn, mate.
Seven and six, O'Dowd.
Seven and six on Benn, please.
Ten bob on Benn.
Argh. Oh!
Oh.
Mrs Walker, help me get this girl over behind the stall.
Come on.
Oh, my God.
Oh.
Oh, Jesus.
Don't worry, love, you'll be all right.
Me and the girls will take good care o' you.
Belt him. Get into him!
- Argh. - You're doing well now, sweetie...
- ...it won't be long. - Argh.
I wanna go home. Please. Just let me go!
Please. Oh!
Argh. Argh.
John! John!
- Argh. Argh. - Hold on, girl.
Just one last push. It's nearly there.
Hang on. Hang on.
- Argh. - There.
Argh. Thank God.
Oh, oh.
- Let's have a look. - God. Ah.
Now, then, let's have a good look.
There you... Oh, there you are.
- Arh. - Ah.
Ah, lovely.
- Ah. - You're all right now.
Jane!
Is that you, John?
Oh, John. I don't believe you.
You promised me faithfully...
...that you'd never fight again.
And yer drunk.
Look.
It's all for you.
For you and my son.
You're gonna be Liverpool's first heavyweight champion.
This child will never fight.
- Ever. - Oh, yes, he will.
She won't. I told yer.
Ow. You're dragging the eyeball out of me 'ead.
Oh, stop moaning. It's the last one.
You've got to learn to suffer for beauty.
Where's Tony?
He's with young Patsy from along the block.
She's minding him. She's a good kid.
Never so much as a moan out of her.
Ow!
Which is more than I can say about you.
Ronnie, Ronnie, it's Patsy, quick.
Who done this to you, Patsy? Tell me.
Who done it to yer?
- Barbara Crane. - Barbara Crane?
But she's fourteen. She's near old enough to be married.
You're only nine. Well, why did she..?
That'll be the rock she perishes on.
Me and you are going round to the Cranes to sort this out.
Mary, keep your eye on 'im, girl.
And put them spuds on a low light.
This won't take me two minutes.
Come on.
No thanks, love, I've got plenty of religion today.
Tyrone, Porsche, get 'ere.
Get here now, you tatty-headed little cow.
What d'you want?
Have you seen what your daughter's done to this girl?
Doesn't seem much wrong with her to me.
She's just kicked ten different kinds of shite out of 'er.
Look, you. I don't know who yer are...
...and I don't particularly care.
But one thing I can tell yer...
...my Barbara is a gentle, feminine kind of girl.
She's not the type to go around fighting...
...with the likes of that.
I mean, she goes to Tap and Ballet...
...every Sat'day.
I don't know what they're teaching 'er at that ballet school, love...
...but it isn't Swan Lake.
She's just ribboned the face of 'er.
And I'm tellin' you that there must be some mistake.
Patsy, is this the girl that beat you up?
She musta deserved it.
Now go on. GET.
Before I throw a bucket of piss water over yer.
Yeh stupid melt.
Stupid I may be, but I do a lovely line in a black eye.
Now YOU GET... into that garden.
You've asked for it. And don't say that I didn't warn yer.
Wooh.
Right.
Go on, Ronnie, get in. Come on.
Come on, Ronnie, get her back now, COME ON.
Ronnie!
Twat her. Go on.
Oh, hey, look at 'em fight.
Stop it. Go on, get 'em off.
- Oh! Urgh! - Jesus.
That'll do. Go on, hit 'er, love.
- Ugh. - Oh.
Now, you tell Giselle...
...If she even glances at this kid, or any kid...
...she won't live to see fifteen stone.
Eric, get 'er off me.
Get 'er off me. Eric!
- Get 'er off me. - You...!
What 'ave you done to my lovely wife?
- Oh. - Ugh.
Eric, get off me.
Yer fat bastard.
Quick, the police!
The bastards 'ave called the police. LEG IT!
A three hundred-pound fine and a suspended sentence.
They'll lock you up next time.
You've got to learn to use your tongue instead of yer fists.
I know.
I think of all these fabulous, quick witty replies...
...but I just can't seem to get the right word onto the end of me tongue.
I feel the blood rushing from me 'ead.
Me fists go white and the next thing I know I'm boxing with them.
But I enjoyed hitting him.
- The husband. - You should 'ave been a boxer.
- You'd 'ave made a fortune. - Yeah.
and I might not 'ave made such a mess of me life.
Oh, come on, Ronnie. Things aren't that bad.
- Aren't they? - Why, what's up?
Mary, I'm on the bones of me arse.
I haven't got a penny in me purse.
I've gotta rob to feed Tony.
And I've been up on more shoplifting charges than the...
...Queen's had oysters.
And it all makes me feel so angry, I just...
...wanna lash out and punch the living daylights out of...
...someone's face.
You've seen him, haven't yer?
He's been released.
We got engaged once.
I want that suffocating...
...in diamonds before I say yeah.
So off he goes into town, and what do you think he brought me back?
An engagement ring?
A tray of them.
Sixteen diamond rings and not one under twenty pound.
Didn't cost him a penny.
It cost him two years.
Hmm.
Come on, you.
Get yer glad rags out.
Bake that face in make up.
And let's me and you go and find him.
Oh, don't worry Ronnie.
If he's out tonight, he'll be spotted by every compact mirror in Kirby.
What if I see him? He won't wanna go home with me.
Oh, he'll come back here. He'll rag your toffees off...
...and he'll 'ave yer on yer best draylon couch if I've gotta drag him...
...by the scruff of the neck.
Now all I've got to worry about's getting away from...
...him for the night.
Humm...
I know, I'll slip him a couple of Mogadon in a cup of tea.
That's a bit much, isn't it?
Oh, yeah, you're right.
I may need them meself.
I know, he can have the Valium instead.
I've got them on standing order with the doctor.
Don't forget the ladder.
Shush, shush.
Oh!
"Come on, boy, do you wanna ride?"
"All aboard, all aboard, wo-ho".
"Last train to Trancentral."
- Hiya, Mary. - Hi, Mary.
Hiya, girls, how are yer, all right?
"All aboard, all aboard, wo-ho."
"Woo-hoo" "Come on."
"Come on, boy, do you want a ride"?
"All aboard, all aboard..."
All right, stranger?
Hello, Mary.
How yer keeping, love?
Not as well as you, by the looks of yer.
- When d'you get out? - A few weeks ago.
Have yer seen Ronnie?
Have you?
I wanted to do a bit of grafting first.
Looks like yer already have.
She's missed you, Tony.
- I missed her as well. - Good.
'Cause she's here.
Come on, she'll be made up to see yer.
It's a bit difficult at the moment.
Why?
Ah, come on Mary, you know how it is.
Do the manly thing, then.
Leave her alone to get over yer.
She'll never get over me.
Oh, don't count on it, pal!
There's plenty in here just itching to get 'old of 'er.
There has been for years.
Sounds like you might be one of them.
If I was a dyke, which I'm not...
I'd be more of a man to her than you've ever been.
Yeah, go on! Hit me.
I'd like to see you getting carried out of 'ere on a stretcher.
And another thing. You wanna spend a few...
...bob more on your elocution lessons.
You're dropping your aitches all over the place.
"All aboard, all aboard, wo-ho".
- He's here. - My Tony Bone?
- I'd better go over and see him. - No, don't, Ronnie.
Why not?
Why don't you wait for him to come over to you?
I've waited for two years.
Do I look all right? Don't go over to him.
It's okay, Mary, I can handle him.
But... Ronnie!
Wait!
"And you've been living on borrowed time."
"Can ya dig it?" "You'd better believe it."
- Get outside, you. - What?
- Get out. - Get off.
"Yes, I'm packing your bags."
"Don't touch me."
"Don't, don't you touch me."
You must have had me in every taxi rank in Kirby.
"We don't have to walk anywhere..."
"I have taken all I'm gonna take from you."
"You kicked and beat me until I was black and blue."
"This is a love eviction, a love eviction."
I tired to tell yer, Ronnie.
You should've stopped me.
You let me make a show of meself.
"This is a love eviction."
- Where are yer going? - No, Mary.
I'm liable to fucking explode.
Don't let it be on you.
"You're always full of imagined things..."
..."You're off your fucking cake, tell her that."
- "It's you, you're a slut." - I was enjoying a bloody dance...
...that's all.
Oi! Veronica.
- We're leaving early, aren't we? - Not early enough.
How are yer?
Fine, Tony. How are you?
Well, you know. Getting by.
- And Tony? - Oh, he's well.
As well as can be expected.
I didn't mean it to be this way.
She doesn't mean anything to me.
Has she got her own house? A car?
Plenty handbag? 'Cause if she has...
...she'll mean more to you than I ever will.
Anyway, what am I doing here even talking to yer?
Can I come and see yer?
Leave me alone, Tony, let me get on with me life.
You're too good for me.
I'm just a working-class girl from Kirby and I love it here.
I'm not what you want.
I can't talk posh and I don't vote Tory.
So what the fuck have we got in common?
You cheeky sod.
Antony, what are you doing out here, with her?
'Ey, you!
Have him, girl.
Have him with my compliments.
Yous deserve each other.
You look a mess.
Mmmm.
Huh.
You've got a cheek.
How did you get in here?
It's me job, isn't it?
Getting into places.
Not this one, it isn't.
Now get your arse out as quick as you got it in.
Who do you think you are?
Sneaking in here in the middle of the night?
What it you'd 'ave woke the baby up?
You'd have frightened him half to death.
A stranger like you.
I'm his father.
This isn't the time to start proving your manhood, mate.
Bony.
Where are yer going?
I've gotta be somewhere.
But it isn't five o'clock yet, where've you gotta be at this hour?
Not her.
Not after last night.
But yer home's here with us.
Why did you wake up?
Don't go. I'll change.
I'll stop robbing and I'll try and talk...
...proper and be what you want.
Oh, please!
I swear on my kid's life I'll never let you back.
Never.
I mean it.
Don't come sneaking back like a thief in the night.
I won't be the other woman for anyone.
Fifty-nine come to box two. Fifty-nine to box two.
- What can I do for you Miss... - O'Dowd.
What can you do for me?
I should imagine there's quite a lot you can do for me.
For a kick off, my son hasn't had a decent meal in two days.
He doesn't look particularly undernourished to me.
We he wouldn't to you, I suppose you're childless, are yer?
- Yes, but that's got nothing... - I thought as much.
You see, I blame the father.
Can't help himself.
- I'm sorry, but I don't quite... - He's got this problem.
Women. Can't leave them alone.
Oh, yeah, he'd go with any old slut.
Any scabby little whore.
As long as they've got a skirt on and they're easy.
You should've seen the one he was with last night.
One smelly trollope, she looked to me.
Personally, Miss O'Dowd, this has nothing to do with me.
And then there's this morning.
Ooh, it must've been turned two o'clock, when who'd you think I should...
...find lurking in my bedroom?
Him.
Begging me to take him back.
Stayed all night.
I had to kick him out in the end.
Now, about my claim.
III just go and check for you.
You see I'm a little bit worried about this infection that I've got.
You know, a woman's infection.
The doctor's told me it's highly contagious.
Oh, God, it must be all over Kirby by now.
With him.
There, lad.
You all right, Porsche?
Um, hmm.
Bit of bad news, I'm afraid, Miss O'Dowd.
Your claim has been lost.
Get me my Giro.
Well, that's not possible.
You've been told that your claim has been lost.
I want my Giro.
I'm sorry, Miss O'Dowd.
I don't know how many times you need to be told before it sinks in.
Your claim has been lost.
Bye, Frank, see yer tomorrow.
Lost me claim, 'ave I, love?
Lost me claim.
But it was extenuating circumstances, Your Honour.
She was provoked.
By her.
In October '85 you assaulted not one, but...
...two store detectives in the centre of Liverpool.
They tripped.
Miss O'Dowd.
They would have had to have tripped off the top of...
...the Empire State Building to have received those types of injuries.
They treat us like dirt.
Can you make provision for your child?
What d'you mean?
I mean, Miss O'Dowd, that in view of your...
...past record and previous convictions...
...I have no option but to sentence you to twelve months...
...at her Majesty's Open Prison, Drayton Hall.
Twelve months! What for?
This court is now adjourned.
Tony, Mary, the baby.
I'll look after him, he'll be fine, don't worry.
- Oh, Ronnie! - I'll be all right.
- Mummy! - Tune into yourself, girl...
...d'you hear?
- Tune into yourself. - Mummy!
Mummy!
Excuse me, love.
Can I have a word?
What?
You weren't content with robbing her man.
You had to rob her freedom as well, didn't yer?
Is she that much of a threat to yer?
- I've got work to do. - Oh, have yer?
Well, I suggest it would be in your best interests...
...to put in for a transfer as far away as possible.
- Like Outer Mongolia. - Huh.
'Cos, see you, love...
...you walk the streets of Kirby at your own risk.
Word's out on you, babe.
You might've got rid of her.
But for every Ronnie O'Dowd you lot put behind bars...
...there's ten of us to take her place.
Now, be warned.
The next time I see you...
...it won't be the sharp end of me tongue you see.
It'll be the heel of my cowboy boot over the back of your head.
Ronnie O'Dowd.
They've put me in here with you.
I'm Brenda Doyle.
- What you in for? - Fighting.
I'm in for armed robbery.
Phew.
I done the video shop.
Well, when I say armed, it wasn't with a gun or anything.
- A knife? - A potato peeler.
I'm dead short-sighted, me.
I thought I'd picked up the kitchen knife.
Had the same handle.
You robbed a video shop with a potato peeler?
Wasn't gonna stab them, or anything.
Well, what were you gonna do? Peel 'em to death?
- Get any money? - No.
Manageress said with weather being so nice that...
...business had been really bad.
I felt dead sorry for her.
But you're the one locked up, not her.
Oh, no, I'm not locked up for that.
It were afterwards, see, we had no wheels.
So I robbed the getaway car.
Cortina mark five.
But I can only drive automatic, and this were manual.
I were doing fifty miles an hour in second gear.
This gets better and better, what happened next?
Knocked over two nuns at a set of traffic lights.
I felt terrible.
One's got a neck collar on, the other one's lost an inch off her leg.
And, you see, what makes it worse is that I'm religious.
Well, I don't actually believe in God but I do say me prayers.
Anyway, it's all right now.
I wrote to the nunnery asking for forgiveness.
I got a lovely letter back from the Mother Superial.
She said I should give up crime...
...and do something constrictive with me life.
So when I get out I'm gonna go on the game.
Oh, that'll be the dinner bell.
I'm starving, are you hungry?
Not for the pig swill they serve in here.
Oh, I love prison food, I do.
Instant mash potato, gravy granules and frozen peas!
Quick, before there's a queue.
Thanks, Mrs Dunclark.
Cigarette, Doyle.
I haven't got any, Alice.
- I said cigarette. - I haven't got any.
You were supposed to do my work this afternoon, Doyle.
I forgot, Alice, I'm sorry.
I said UP.
I've warned you about this.
How's your arm coming on?
Oh, I'm sorry, Alice, please.
I really meant to do it, honest I did, it just slipped me mind.
I thought about her as soon as I woke up I...
Then take this as a last warning.
My work had better be done by the morning shift...
...or else you're gonna be very friendly with the doctor.
Hey, fat hole.
What did you dare to say?
You heard me. Fat hole.
- Ooh! - What're you gonna do for a face...
...when Jabba the Hut wants its arse back?
You're gonna be very sorry you said that.
Pick on someone your own size.
Like a humpback whale.
Think yer up to it, do yer?
Leave her alone.
And what if I decide not to?
Then I'll decide to stop yer.
In the gym. Fifteen minutes.
I just hope you like sitting down, cause I'm gonna put you...
...in a fucking wheelchair.
Two, four-oh, forty.
Seven and two, seventy-two.
Eight and one, eighty-one.
Bingo!
Ah, I hope she's all right, Mary.
What? She'll be living the life o' Riley.
I can just see her now, lying there.
Tucked up in bed with a cup of cocoa and a Woman's Own.
Fuck!
- Ugh. - Agh.
Ooh.
Come on, come on!
- Come on. - Oh.
Argh!
Huh!
Ooh.
Get up.
Oh..!
- Grr-arhh. - Huh!
Yer!
- Oh, oh. - Oh.
Uh, uh.
Uh! Ooh.
- Ooh. - Urgh.
Ah.
- Double top. - That's not double top.
- That's double top. - That is not double top.
That's double top!
I'll give you double top.
"Irene, goodnight."
"Goodnight, Irene." "Goodnight, Irene."
- "I'll get you in my dreams." - What are you looking at?"
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stare.
And stop apologising. No wonder she picks on yer.
Ooh, you're a bag of nerves, you, aren't yer?
I get it from me mam.
- Where is your mam? - Rochdale.
That's me home town. It's great in Rochdale.
I left home when I were thirteen.
- And you never went back? - No.
I went back about eighteen months...
...later, on me fifteenth birthday.
"You've put on weight" she said.
"I hope you're not pregnant."
And you can't stay here...
...there's nowhere for you to stop now.
She give me a tenner though.
That's why I left home in the first place.
- Because of your mother? - No.
No, it weren't her.
It were him, me mam's fella. Reg.
He used to knock her about.
He'd lay into her for nowt.
And it were moan, moan, moan, non stop.
That's all I remember about growing up.
So I buggered off.
Did he hit you?
I hate men, I do.
How d'you fancy breaking out of here...
...and doing a night on the town?
- Ooh, I don't know. - Oh, come on.
Just think, all that lovely ale...
...floating down the back of yer gullet.
You might even cop off with a few bits of gorgeous men.
MEN? No, thanks.
I wouldn't touch a man if he were the last woman on Earth.
D'you mind if I turn out the light?
- What yer thinking? - Oh...
...it's always the kids that suffer.
What did he do to deserve a mam like me?
I bet yer a great mam.
Ooh, a quick tempered fool, that's what I am.
He'll be all right with Mary.
- Goodnight. - Night.
Thanks for sticking up for me with Big Alice.
Why didn't yer bring the baby with yer?
He had a court order, Ronnie.
I tried to stop them.
Who's got him now?
He's at Wellfield House.
You said you'd look after him, Mary.
D'you think I just stood there...
...and said "Here y'are then, take him"?
I'm not asked.
I just wanted to protect me kid from the state.
Who took him?
Social services.
Once a child ends up...
...in one of them places, you never get them back.
Not properly.
Well, I'm not having it.
There's nothing you can do.
Go round to my house, and in the top draw...
...of me bedside table...
...there's a brown envelope.
Take it. Then go to Tony Bone and give it to him.
But he's with her.
He's hurt you enough.
Tell him to meet me tomorrow night.
He'll know where.
And to bring plenty of money.
Huh, not him, Ronnie.
You're just making a rod for your own back.
All that's over.
I'm sick of throwing good love after bad.
And he owns me my son.
So tell him.
That if he doesn't show...
I'll blow him up for every job...
...he's done in the last five years.
And I'll blow him up so hard, he'll think...
...he's got a cruise missile shoved up the end of his arse.
You'll only make things worse.
Look me in the eye, Mary.
And tell me, hand on heart...
...what you'd do if it was your kid...
...stuck in some home for the neglected?
I'd be out, and over that fence...
...as fast as my heels would carry me.
You'd get caught for sure unless you're with...
...someone who knew their way around.
I know Rochdale like the back of me hand.
Please, Ronnie, don't say yes now.
Just sleep on it.
Go to sleep, girl.
Go to sleep.
Are you sure you know what you're doing?
Go to the locker room, where they...
...keep our outside clothes.
And get me coat, me shoes...
...the black leather ones with the big heel.
We've only got fifteen minutes.
Hurry up, girl.
And don't forget me shoes.
Right.
Is that you?
Who'd you pigging think it were?
- Mr Ed? - Oh.
Right. Up that ladder.
Huh.
Ah.
Where's me coat?
What the fuck are these?
Aren't they yours?
I told yer, black high heels.
Leather ones.
I can't wear these Cornish pasties, you dozy sweat.
Oh.
Huh.
- It's a big jump. - It is in these clodhoppers.
Oh, I'm sorry Ronnie. Put mine on.
We've only got three minutes.
So come on.
Jump.
Woh!
Come on.
Whoo! Ahh!
Oh, I'm breathless.
Keep going now!
Ah, Ah.
Brenda, come on.
- Hurry up. - I can't.
I've got a stitch in me side.
You'll have a stitch in yer arse if you don't get a move on.
Oh, hold on, please, Ronnie. Just a minute.
Brenda we're not on a picnic.
We've just done one from a prison.
Bolt it!
No, I can't, me shoe is stuck!
Take them off.
Ah!
Bastards.
Come on Breanda, come on.
- Hang on, can't you slow it? - Wait.
Help me jump on.
Oh, me shoes. Get me up.
Is she coming? Oh, me heels!
- She's going nowhere... - Go away, Miss Marshall.
Go on, shoo. Go on, get away!
Sorry. Oh, Ronnie I'm scared!
Oh, shut up, Brenda.
- Go on girl, peg it. - Ha, ha!
See ya.
Shut up.
- Brenda... - I know, Ronnie.
I'd actually love to come with you but I just can't.
And it's no good you begging me 'cause I've got...
...too much to do. Mates to see.
Pubs to booze in.
Oh, Ronnie, please, take me with yer.
I can't, I'd love to if I was going home, but I'm not.
I'd do all the cleaning and cooking.
Help with the little lad.
Please, Ronnie.
Tell yer what.
When I get back I'll get in touch with yer.
And you can come and stay for as long as you want.
Can I?
Can I really?
For as long as you piggin' want.
Right.
I'll be off, then.
Where will you go?
Oh, don't worry about me.
I've got mates all over the place.
Macclesfield, Oldham, Barnsley.
'Ey, I'll go to Barnsley.
I've never been there.
It's supposed to be right exciting, is Barnsley.
Right.
Ta-ra, then.
Love you.
Hey, Ronnie!
Psst. Mary. Over here.
Huh. What are you like?
Oh, I couldn't stand it there a minute longer.
- Where's the baby? - He's in the car with my fella.
Huh, what are you gonna do, then?
Find me dad.
But he's in New York.
Besides you and Tony, he's all I've got.
I wanna be somewhere I don't have...
...to keep looking over me shoulder.
I was born here.
Just behind Bob Isherwood's stall.
Me mother had me on a...
...bag of budgie millet.
I don't think she ever got over the shame of it.
Oh, me poor Ma.
She was dead ladylike.
Couldn't take the hard life.
And with me dad being the way he was...
...well, he didn't help, either.
- Why? - Oh...
...fighting, drinking.
Dreaming.
I think it was the mad fantasies...
...that done her in the most.
Forever coming up with a new brainwave...
...to get more handbag.
And always waiting for the ship to come in.
And it did.
Oh, he dreamed about going to the States.
All his old mates went away to sea.
And New York!
God, he thought it was some Mecca.
He meant to come back and look after us.
He just never did.
Huh. Ronnie, you belong here.
I don't want to belong to somewhere.
I wanna belong to someone.
But New York's a violent place.
How did he look?
The same as ever.
Did he...?
Did he ask about me?
- Huh. - Bastard.
He gave this money for yer.
- Is my passport there? - Yeah.
Mary, just look at that photograph.
What have you got on your hair?
Loctite?
Oh no, I look like a cat on heat.
O'Dowd. John O'Dowd.
Oh, you must know him.
Scots fella. He's loaded.
Lives upstairs on the top floor.
Oh, love, I've travelled all the way from Liverpool.
Liverpool, England.
You'd better go back and check.
I have checked and I'm certain he's not...
...staying here. It would show on the computer.
If you'll excuse me.
Oh.
Come here, lad.
What are we gonna do?
I can't find Granddad.
Hey, honey.
Did you say you were looking for John O'Dowd?
You don't know him, do yer?
I sure do.
But they said in the hotel...
Don't pay any attention to them.
What would those shitheads know?
Here, hold this.
Hey. Where are you going with me son?
You wanna see your daddy?
- Yeah - Then come on.
How d'you know me dad, then?
I've known him for years. He's a great guy.
Are you from New York?
Me, from this hell hole?
Honey, let me tell you something.
I'm from the real United States of America.
Kentucky, bluegrass country.
Where they make the men big.
Know what I'm saying?
Been here over twenty years.
Came with the show in sixty-five.
- A show? - Yeah.
I've been in all the big shows and revues.
Did two year in Vegas, then...
...Broadway, Chicago.
I can still do the splits and take my foot right up...
...right up over my head.
I bet you can.
Were you a good dancer, then?
Oh, hoofer, you mean?
No, my speciality was the er...
...wriggle.
I'm, ah, your original tits and ass girl.
Do you think it suits me?
- What? - My nose?
I bought it six months ago.
You bought it?
I sure did.
I saw the picture in a magazine.
Tore it out and took it to a plastic surgeon.
"I want that nose" I said.
Well sixteen hundred bucks and two swollen...
...days later, I had it.
Hi.
Ooh, he's cute.
I've had liposuction. An ass lift.
And I'm putting away for a chin job.
Oh, honey, it is just the greatest...
- ...buzz ever. - Oh, I couldn't let...
...anyone touch me like that.
I said that once.
Then one morning I woke up and looked...
...in the mirror. And this wrinkled...
...little old lady looked right on back at me.
I screamed, she screamed...
...and we both decided that one of us had to go.
Huh, she went, I stayed.
He's in there.
Hey, how long are you staying here for?
Well, come by and see me, I got a couple...
...days off. And I live in the same...
...neighbourhood as your daddy.
Oh, thanks for all yer help.
Don't mention it.
Come on, babe.
Oh.
Anne Jane?
No, Dad.
It's me.
Veronica.
Ah, you should have told me you were coming, you know...
I could've got the place nice and clean.
It was all sort of spur of the moment, Dad.
How've you been?
Me? Ah, great.
Never better, I've, ah...
...I've done really well for myself and that.
This place, just a hiccup, queen, just a hiccup.
Be out of here soon enough.
Take a seat, sit down. I'll get a drink.
You told me you were a tycoon.
Oh, I was kid.
I had everything.
Money, cars...
...respect. Oh, yeah.
Everybody in the New York boxing fraternity...
...knew John O'Dowd.
Well, what happened?
Fffff!
You know, I just, ah...
...a wrong investment here and, ah...
...bit of bad luck there, you know.
But I shall, er...
...be on top again. Just you wait and see.
Ah lass, don't worry about this.
Just something to put some...
...fire in my old bones, that's all.
Anyway. Listen...
...we've got all night to talk about me.
I wanna hear about you.
My grandson. And Liverpool.
He's dead tired, Dad.
He's done in. I should put him to bed.
Yeah.
Come on, Tony.
It's okay, Tony.
Shall I tell yer a little story...
...about the bunny rabbits?
The Lonsdale Belt.
Should've won it many times.
I had the muscle, you see, and the speed.
Just wasn't given the opportunities, that's all.
Why did yer leave?
Ah, had to leave.
I didn't mean to do it.
It was just part and parcel of the game, you know...
...the knuckle. It's a weapon, you see.
Wasn't a bad lad. Christie Morgan.
Not a bad fighter.
One punch, wasn't even a hard one, either.
He just didn't get up.
Just lay there like a side of beef.
It was manslaughter, they called it.
Anyway.
Mates got me on this ship.
Liverpool, Cardiff, New York, the Caribbean.
And I saw the lights of Manhattan.
And the people.
Knew then I'd never go back.
'Cause I couldn't go back.
I was trapped in a movie.
Movie called America.
We didn't half miss you, Dad.
Oh, fuck it, anyway.
Oh, don't worry, Dad.
I'm here now. Me and Tony.
We'll take care o' you.
Ah, honey.
You should never have come.
Oh, I can handle it.
Listen, honey.
Let me tell you a few things about John O'Dowd
Okay, so he's a drunk.
But he's a good guy.
You know when he first came over here to...
...the States, I sort of...
...well, you know.
You should get the hell out of this dump...
...and come out on the town with me.
I can't. What about me dad?
Honey, you aren't gonna see him...
...until he's drunk himself sober.
Oh, hell. He'll be okay.
We'll catch him later.
Oh, why not.
Hmm, pearls is so sophisticated on a woman.
- They're unlucky. - Oh, not these ones.
My, aren't they exquisite?
You know, pearls really complement...
...the skin of an older...
A more mature woman.
You're not that old.
Did you ever see that film, Shangri La?
Where the beautiful young woman goes out...
...faces the real world and turns into an old crone?
Yeah, why?
They could've based that film on me.
You know, I've got his nightmare...
I'm walking down Fifth Avenue...
...looking good, feeling great.
And then suddenly, twang.
My ass lift falls, and I look like shit.
You could never look like that.
Because you're not ugly inside or out.
Anyway, there's no sense dreaming...
...they cost four hundred bucks.
Huh, I could never afford them.
Now, look at this.
This is tres you.
No, I like my drawers with a little bit of...
...gusset in them.
Anyway, what would I look like...
...in that with my big shoulders?
A man in drag.
Peach goes with your eyes.
But my eyes aren't peach. They're green.
Well, look at the shape and from of it...
...oh, you've got to have it.
Let me buy it for you.
No.
Don't you like it?
No, it's gorgeous, it's lovely...
...Lovelle, it's really feminine and fluffy.
But I just don't like to spend money on meself.
I prefer to spend it on little Tony.
Can I help you?
Yes, I'd like to know... No.
Oh, what's she like? Come on.
I know he's been waiting for me, haven't yer?
- My Tony. - Ah.
Do you know, I thought I...
- It's raining. - ...would've seen him by now.
Are we in America?
We're in America now.
And I haven't really seen him yet.
Well, you know he'll be in a bar somewhere...
...getting stoned out of his head.
- Oh. - Unless he's run out of...
...his money, I mean your money.
Oh, well, he'll stop now that I'm here...
- ...to look after him. - Oh, I doubt it, hon.
Your old man is sick. III with the booze.
Why only last week I found him bad...
...and I mean really bad. Spitting up blood...
- ...and all. - Oh.
He still thinks he can take on the world.
Just hadn't got the strength for it any more.
Well, I have. Let's go and find him, Lovelle.
Right.
Come on, Ronnie!
Oops. Oh.
- Oh. - Oh, fuck.
Come on, Dad.
Ooh.
Legs up.
Ah.
Oh.
He's so weak.
I'll tell you what.
Tomorrow you spend the day with your pop.
And then in the night time we'll hit the town together.
Oh, I don't know.
Ah, come on. Spread out a little.
Wait, Lovelle.
Close your eyes.
- Ah, what for? - Close your eyes and see.
Look.
Ah! Oh!
It's them!
Oh, you didn't buy them for me did ya?
Not exactly.
Ah, that is the sweetest, loveliest thing...
...anybody's ever done.
But you aren't the only smartass in town.
Told ya peach was your colour.
- Oh, Lovelle, it's lovely. - Ha, ha.
See ya tomorrow night.
Thanks.
I don't believe you.
Now look at you. Look at the place.
Jesus Christ, what a bastard you are.
What sort of woman are you?
Oh, get out of my face...
I'm outta your life and you know what?
Here y'are, Dad.
I've got yer a nice big breakfast.
Ah. I don't think I can manage that.
Oh, try some.
Just a little bit.
Oh, come on, Dad, an empty sack won't stand.
I'm in New York to be with you.
Yeah, I'm, I'm sorry, kid.
Tell yer what we're gonna do.
I'm gonna take you down to the bar.
My local. Gotta meet my mates.
I've got, ah, hundreds of 'em all over the place.
That sounds like a great idea, when? This afternoon?
No - no, no.
Now, this minute.
Celebrate you and my grandson arriving in New York.
Dad, I don't want you to go boozing.
Leave it out, knock it on the head.
It just helps me clear my mind, that's all.
Have you got any money? Urm...
I don't know, just a bit, ten dollars?
You're sick, look at yer.
I don't want a fucking lecture.
Are yer gonna give me the money or not?
Of course.
You can have anything you want.
You can have this.
When you've ate your breakfast, not before.
Oh, no, you don't.
If you think I've travelled halfway...
...across the world to sit and let me and my child...
...watch you kill yerself on booze...
...well, you're mistaken.
Now get that food ate.
Come on, Tony.
Can I have the money now?
Can't we spend the day together?
Are you gonna give me that fuckin' money?
I just gotta go out.
I won't be long.
Look, I...
It's not really me when I...
I know.
I don't mean to hurt you, kid.
Will you come back, Dad?
Yeah, 'course I will.
Had this stored in my place.
Thanks, I'll just put it over here.
You look fantastic.
So you like my new outfit, huh?
- Fine, ain't it? - Oh, I love it on yer.
Why, where are you going?
Where are WE going?
I can't go out, Lovelle.
Oh, this is the babysitter.
Mrs Skudlapski, this is the English lady I was...
...telling you about.
Hello, sweetie. Me and your mom are going out...
...for a couple of hours. Now you be real good...
...with Mrs Skudlapski.
I can't leave me baby with a complete stranger.
Oh, it'll be all right.
I've known her for years.
She has a heart of gold.
I can't go out, Lovelle.
Look, I spent twelve dollars on a manicure.
And I practically took out a second mortgage...
...on this do.
Do you like it?
Oh, I was gonna have my usual colour...
...Golden Dreams, and then I thought...
...the hell with it. Let me go for...
...the Coral Caresse wig instead, and...
...hope for the best.
But me dad isn't back yet.
And what if comes in and finds me gone...
...and the baby left with a stranger.
Honey.
You know as well as I do that...
...when John O'Dowd comes falling through that door...
...he ain't gonna know what day it is...
...let alone worry about where you are.
Ah.
You know how he is.
I'm really worried about him.
He went out this morning...
...and he looked the colour of boiled shite.
You need a night out. A girls' night out.
Look, I'll tell yer what we'll do.
Tonight we'll go out on the town...
...and have ourselves a ball.
And then tomorrow we'll take him to a doctor.
A good one.
There isn't anything you can do about it tonight.
Oh, lighten up.
You're in New York.
And it's one hell of a place to be on a...
...Friday night.
I'll go an' get me slap on.
Oh, no, he's monster bad!
Oh, I think he's cute.
He's thick. He's as dim as a two-watt bulb.
He didn't speak two words...
...to me the whole time we were in there.
And YOUR fella!
Oh, isn't he a living doll?
He's only twenty-five.
I know. I'm old enough to be his... big sister.
Anyway. I don't wanna drag him down the aisle.
I just wanna have some fun.
Oh, I want a sweet young thing to...
...throw me all over the bed.
Tear my clothes off and make love to me.
There's nothing wrong with that, girl.
Just don't expect me to do the same with...
...Duncan Donuts there.
Did you see the size of him?
He's bound to be in proportion.
Look, I'll tell yer what.
Why don't you do yourself a big favour...
...and have the both of them.
What'll you do?
Well, I've got me travel vibrator with me.
I mean, what more does a girl need?
I never go anywhere without me bits...
...just in case.
So, where you guys gonna take us then?
Well, where would you like to go?
I'd like to go here.
What is it?
Pulling hair, and scratching out eyes?
It might be.
But why don't we go and find out.
Yeah, why don't we?
What d'you say?
Well, we live in a democracy, sure, lets go.
Ooh, I haven't been to a fight for such a long time.
Neither have I.
Ah, taxi!
Ladies and gentlemen.
We did expect to have a real...
...fight here for you here tonight.
With our own Brooklyn Heights Helen.
Her opponent couldn't make it from Jersey.
Huh, I can't say I blame her.
We're offering one of you...
...ladies the opportunity...
...to step down here and go just...
...three minutes with Helen.
You just have to stay up for three minutes.
And you could win yourself a thousand dollars.
So come on.
Any of you women out there tonight?
How much is a thousand dollars in English money?
Why, you thinking of giving it a shot?
Yeah, I am.
Why honey, you can't be serious.
You're not a fighter.
I can stay in the ring longer than three minutes.
I bet yer she can't.
Oh, honey, you've had too much champagne.
No, I haven't.
- Here yer are, mate. - Hey?
I'll take her on.
Shit, she means it!
Huh, but what about your pretty little face?
You'll never get a nose like that again...
...I should know.
...couple of rounds with that? Ha, ha!
And what's your name?
Mind your own business.
Well, well, what have we here?
Gonna tell us where you're from?
Liverpool, England.
Do ya have a job?
Yeah, I'm a fucking manicurist...
...and what is this? The Johnny Carson show?
Okay, lady, have it your own way.
Look, lady, it's not too late to turn back.
Helen's fuckin' tough...
...you sure you wanna go through with this?
- Ugh. - I've got fifty bucks...
...on ya, Helen. Come on!
Oh, you dirty bitch. Oh, ooh!
Come on, come on. Murder her.
Yes, yes!
Come on!
- Ugh. - Ooh!
Yeah!
You did what to him?
Well, it wasn't my fault, I couldn't undo the ropes.
Anyway he asked for it, honey.
How long's he been in there like that?
All night long.
So I fixed myself a drink...
...painted his toenails...
...and had a bubble bath.
He won't ask for number thirty-one again in a hurry.
Oh, Lovelle, is that you?
I'd just turned nineteen when that was taken.
In my second big revue.
"Moon Glow." Wasn't I beautiful?
You still are.
Made the second page of "Variety" too.
Ah-huh, well, not just me.
A few of the girls from the line.
I'll show ya.
I keep everything from my...
...show business career in here.
Costumes, make-up.
Press clippings. Now where is it?
Here it is.
This is me.
And this is Jean Page.
Missy Page, we called her.
Always interfering and gossiping.
She ended up on a commune where they practise free love.
Ooh!
And that's little Yvonne Walker.
She was always looking for a husband.
Got one in the end too, real rich.
Made his fortune in vitamins.
Not that it done Yvonne any good.
She took to the refrigerator.
Why, she's so huge...
...she wouldn't even fit through that door.
Ah, I guess they all did pretty well for themselves.
And what about you?
I made the classic mistake.
And what was that?
I believed them when they told me they loved me.
Hold on, honey, I'll just get that.
Hi.
Yes, this is Lovelle Summers.
Who? No, I don't...
Oh, last night? Sure, yes, hi.
How ya doing? It's him.
- Who? - Last night, the man from...
...Knuckles, remember?
Sure I remember your proposition.
But look, it's like this...
...we don't reckon that a thousand's enough...
...not considering that you charge twenty bucks a head...
...just to get into your place.
No, that kind of money really doesn't interest us.
Three grand.
No, that still doesn't have the right ring about it.
Now, why don't we say ten grand.
Hey, wait a minute, mister.
You think is some dumb cheap fuck-up...
...from 42nd street you're talking to?
I've been in this business for years...
...and I know what you guys are raking in down at...
...that place of yours.
Uh, well, we'll think about it and get back to you.
Ah, yeah, as soon as possible.
You're not gonna believe it.
He took it, he took it.
- Oh. - Five grand just to step...
...into the ring. Ten grand if you win.
It's how do you say?
Plenty handbag.
I just know me dad is gonna be dead against it.
I'll have to go, Lovelle, and sort it out with him. Huh!
I've left the baby with Mrs Skudalapski.
She's probably off her cake by now.
Hiya, love. How ya keeping?
Howdy, doing great, thanks. Yourself?
Oooh!
Not fighting. Not you.
I've been fighting all me life.
Look, your mother was a lady.
And I promised her...
...there'd be no more fighting ever again.
Was that before or after you left us to...
...fend for ourselves?
I did that to save you from it.
Don't give me that crock o' shit.
I've been reading it in your letters...
...since I was a little girl.
And I believed it.
Just look at yer.
It's my funeral, huh?
That's where you're wrong, pal.
You go to that fight over my dead body.
America hasn't been good to you, Dad.
And you know it.
It's too hard here. Too cruel.
I can't wait to get you back home.
Have you got any idea what these things have...
...done to my life?
Could have been a manslaughter charge.
Stop. I've heard enough.
I can take the booze, the filth, the fantasies...
But I can't take any more manslaughter-charge stories.
Christie Morgan's still alive.
- I killed him. - You liar.
He's as fit as a fiddle and propping up...
...the bars in Kirby. You left us, Dad.
Me and me mother.
You left us because you're self-centred, selfish...
...and hard-hearted.
You didn't care about us.
You wanted the American dream.
But it isn't a dream, is it?
It's a nightmare.
Look, Dad.
Look at me.
I know you don't love me.
I know I'm like some painful memory...
...come back to haunt yer.
But you're an alcoholic.
And you'll die if you don't stop and get better.
I can get you well in Kirby.
I'll have plenty of money to look after yer.
Okay so I've run away.
I know I should have brazened it out.
But I'm gonna go to that fight tonight...
...and I'm gonna win us some money to take us home.
You go.
And you're never gonna see me again.
I need you there tonight. To give me strength.
Go.
Just don't come back here.
Just get on an aeroplane, and go home.
I'm going nowhere without you.
Ladies and gentlemen.
I give you Liverpool's own...
...Blonde Fist!
Come on, Liverpool!
And her opponent tonight...
...and you've seen her win every fight she's...
...fought here - Crazy Sue!
Now you all know the rules.
Betting is only allowed up to the first five minutes...
...of this ten-minute fight.
Ten minutes, I thought it was only three.
Lady, we're talking...
...ten thousand dollars.
Last night was a fluke.
Hm. She ain't gonna get away with it so easy tonight.
We'll see about that, buddy.
Don't worry about her, honey.
She's nothing.
Oh, wish me luck, Lovelle.
Come on! come on, Sue!
Sue! Sue! Sue! Sue!
Huh. Huh.
Ugh!
What yer playing at?
Call that fighting?
Feet work. Use yer feet!
Take no fucking prisoners.
Ugh!
- Ugh. - Give it to her, now!
Yeargh!
That's it. Go on, do it.
Go on, Liverpool!
Put her away, yeah!
Yeah! Go on, go to it.
Go on, go Liverpool!
- Go! - Ugh.
You'll have to leave it twelve months...
...I've sort of got this date that I just can't get out of.
Will you ever come back, John?
What do you say, kid?
I doubt it.
But it's not too late.
Why don't you come with us, I've got the money.
What would I do in Liverpool?
I mean, at my age?
Oh, they'd love you in Kirby...
...they really would.
I'll never forget yer. You're dead special.
Take care, honey.
Take care of your pop.
Bye, babe.
- Bye. - Ta-ra, Lovelle.
- Bye, Tony. - Bye.
- Oh. - Don't go.
Jesus!
We've made it, Dad. We're home.
I bet you never thought you'd come back...
...the way you went. In style!
I got something for yer.
Ah, made it myself.
Not the engraving, though.
Had it done in New York, before we left.
Oh, Dad!
- Yes! - My girl!