You don't have to go.
Yeah, I got to, uh...
I got to see a sick friend.
He is, he's sick.
Well, it wasn't that good anyway.
Remind me not to get on your bad side.
I was supposed to pick up some medicine for him.
I don't suppose you could, um...
Nah, I don't suppose.
Bone.
Buy some vitamin E.
Okay.
You're not interested in the boat, are you?
No.
I don't think I can convince my husband.
Okay.
Well... it's been better for me, too.
Green Healy.
Yeah, my engine's had it. Gotta get it fixed.
Sorry, fella, there goes your tip.
Shit!
Hey!
Son of a bitch!
Jesus Christ!
Fuck you, too!
I owe you a drink.
That's true, you do.
Ahoy, maties! Ishmael returneth, huh?
Hey!
How goes your search for that fiendish leviathan of the deep, Moby Dick?
Oh, Moby Dick?
- Isn't that a social... - Isn't that a social disease?
Oh, God, it's only 1:30, Alex.
Yeah, and already into the B material,
I admit it, Rich, but, great art...
Great art demands a great audience, you know what I mean?
Permit me to introduce to you Rosencrantz and Guildenstern here.
Emissaries from the Danish court, tree surgeons to the king.
They prune Danish, right?
Yeah, right, that's my line, Rich.
Yeah, and this... This is of course, uh, Karl Marx.
Karl Marx, former lead guitar with the Boston Symphony Orchestra.
- Karl. - And last, but certainly least,
is Rastus, the court nigger.
What?
Do I detect some tension?
Oh.
Come now, gentlemen.
It's a simple matter of semantics.
What are we white, well-intentioned liberals
supposed to call you cats these days, huh?
Blacks?
Coloreds?
Negroes? Darkies?
Jeez, you know, I don't know. What would you call 'em, Rich?
I'd call 'em, "Sir," if I were you.
That's funny, you know, 'cause that's not what you called them
the night your car was stolen.
Just what was it that you called 'em that night?
Alex.
Alex? Alex.
I wouldn't put up with that if I were you guys.
You must be... You must be crazy, Rich, calling them something like that.
The war, you know.
I can understand that.
I wasn't in any war.
See?
Uh, but if he convinces you he isn't crazy, don't send me the pieces?
Man, what are you doing?
Alex. Thank you, man.
Hey, friends, don't miss this, you're watching a pro in action.
Richard Bone, doing what he does best, walking away.
Where you going with my God damn keys, huh? You fuck!
That's going on your tab, Cutter.
You look beautiful.
Considering.
I didn't say that.
It's a given. The way of the world.
Things are okay, considering.
Mmm-hmm. That good, huh?
Better.
Any minute now Prince Charming will, uh,
ride by on his grand white charger
and take me in his arms and carry me away.
My charger's got a bad battery, but will I do?
Hell, no.
Speaking of which, you're home awfully early, aren't you?
Couldn't you find a matron with a taste for gutter squalor?
Or, uh, is that the battery trouble you were complaining of?
I don't like you when you're stoned.
Hey, Rich, I don't like you when I'm straight.
How would you know?
You did have a bad night, didn't you?
Not until now.
Is it so bad, Rich, having a place to come home to,
when you've got no place to go?
Poor Richard.
The bottle.
Golden boy.
Never say no to Richard.
Really must be tough
playing second fiddle to a one-eyed cripple.
Hey, he's not your average one-eyed cripple.
Is that why you put up with his bullshit,
sitting around waiting for the resurrection? It's not gonna to happen.
How would you know?
You never stay in one place long enough to find out.
What does that mean? Does that mean that if I'd been around
at the right time?
I would have married Alex, anyway.
Hmm.
I don't think so.
Whatever you say.
But I did.
And you know what?
I'm real happy with the way things are.
Kenny!
Kenny.
One, two, three!
All right, Georgie.
What'd I do with my cane?
Okay, okay, now follow me, okay. I'm all right, I'm all right.
- I'm all right. - I know.
Okay, I know the way, there's 13 steps.
Okay, we bring this thing here, okay. Steps right here.
One, two, three... Whoa, easy.
Take it easy. Take it easy.
Be quiet. Quiet! Shut up!
Don't wake Mo up.
Hey, Maureen, are you awake?
It's George!
Oh, well, look who's here.
Hi, Richie, can you give me a hand here?
Hey, you ain't got no clothes on, boy.
Be quiet.
Ah, shit, it's always good to have a little Bone around the home, you know.
- Is it safe yet? - Yeah, it's dark.
Jesus Christ, Bone, you really know how to hurt a guy.
I had a good teacher, Alex.
Yeah, gimme that bottle, George.
- Mmm-mmm. - Gimme the God damn bottle!
Hi, Mo.
- Oh! - Hi, George.
Lawsy, lawsy lawsy, lawsy.
I must've died and gone to heaven, huh?
You all right?
Yeah, he's fine, Mo.
- Sorry. - No, don't be silly.
Don't let him fool you, he's bucking for sainthood.
Without me, he hasn't got a prayer.
Would you like some coffee?
No, no thanks, I'd better get home. Susie's probably worried.
Yeah.
Must've known you were bringing him home.
No, completely by accident.
Hey, Richie, how did we do with that woman?
She seemed pretty damn interested in the 40-footer this afternoon.
I think she has something a lot smaller in mind, George.
Too bad. Here you go.
Ah. Gimme that bottle.
- Yeah, take care of my boy, Alex. - Gimme that God damn...
I'll see you all at the parade.
Gimme the bottle!
What'll it be, Alex, coffee or sleep?
Any other choices?
Hey, where're you going?
I'm gonna finish sleeping on the boat.
Ah, come on, Bone.
He wants to, Alex.
He doesn't want to go, do you?
Yeah, it's getting late. I'm gonna hit it.
No, it's not late. It's early.
Hey. Come on.
Come on, stick around.
Mo doesn't want you to go, do you? You're just being cranky, right?
Hey, come on. We'll do something together.
Have breakfast, a cup of coffee.
Good idea, huh?
Unless you've got something else in mind, right? Yeah?
You wanna watch?
Nah. You want me to watch.
Oh! Eee...
You guys are a little grim. It's just a little joke.
Oh! Oh, I get it. You don't want me to watch.
Okay.
You guys are making me very nervous.
If I didn't know better.
- Yeah? - Is there a Richard Bone here?
That's me.
Do you own a green Healy convertible?
Why don't you just come in, Officers? Yes, I do, why?
Oh, God.
Okay, Mr. Bone, let's do it again.
Let's take a look at the autopsy report.
Crushed trachea, fractured skull.
Semen in her throat, on her face.
Seventeen years old, cheerleader.
It's ugly, Mr. Bone.
Down in LA it happens all the time, but we don't get the creeps up here.
And you...
You didn't see anything.
That's right, and I didn't do it.
So I think I'm gonna go, all right?
Sit down.
Look.
I didn't see the face. Right?
I only saw the body. What I saw of the body
was a dark shape with sunglasses on, and I can't identify a face for you!
Send in Miss Duran.
Who's that, her mother?
Her sister. Tell her what you saw.
Shit.
That's your job.
It's your story.
Miss Duran, Mr. Bone.
I'm sorry.
Hey, what's your name?
Hey, Rich, Rich, Rich, Rich, you made the big time, have a drink.
Look, show him.
Well, look at that. "Suspect held in slaying."
'Course, you know, a witness is not nearly as exciting as a murderer,
but, uh, I'm willing to let bygones be bygones.
What'd you see?
I've been playing this game for six hours.
Come on, it's me, your old buddy, Alex. What'd you see, man? Come on!
I didn't see anything, all right?
You saw a silhouette, we heard that much outside.
That's what I saw exactly.
What'd he look like?
What'd the guy look like?
I wanna go home, I'm tired, let's get out of here.
Home? What home? Let's go look at some naked dancing ladies.
This is a group from Santa Barbara.
Hey.
See? See, Rich, just what I told you.
Take your mind off your trying ordeal.
You mean you?
Yeah, come on, watch the parade.
Look, our glorious past, the Mission of Santa Barbara.
Happy padres, happy Indians. The blessings of the white man.
Wiped out in less than two 200 years by disease and forced labor.
You can still get one to clean up your kitchen or you know, park your car.
They died with Christ's blessing.
Happy corpses, each and every one.
You're right, Alex. I need something fun like this.
Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.
Hey, the baton brigade, hey!
Jesus Christ, look at that one.
My God, they're maturing early.
Holy shit, man. We were born too soon.
You know what they do with those hard, smooth,
polished, chrome batons these days.
I'll bet you do.
Hey, we gotta find someone for Mo.
Hey, Mo, you could go out with this guy.
Look at that one, Rich. You could go for that, huh?
Or that one, or that one, or that one.
That one ain't bad.
You could probably boff all of them.
Hey. Look at the silver in that horse's mouth, huh?
You think we could mug a horse?
You think we could mug a palomino?
Hey! Arrest me!
Lock me up!
Hey, kid.
Gross!
Now we're getting down to it. Hard core.
Background, breeding, genealogy, sociology.
Rich, rich, rich! Rich.
For an honest-to-God dynasty you need family.
What do you say, Mo?
That's him!
What?
That looks like the guy I saw at the trashcan.
And the honorary presidente of the parade, James J. Cord.
Who? That guy?
No, this guy right here.
- That guy? - This guy.
That's the guy you saw at the trashcan?
Come here! Come here!
Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me very much.
Excuse me a great deal, I'm very sorry but excuse me, get out of my way.
Come on! Excuse me. Excuse me, excuse me.
Rich, come here! You mean him? You mean him?
That's J.J. Cord!
Hey, Alex! Richie! How do I look?
Hey you look like a fat man on a horse, Georgie.
Huh?
Cord was busy last night.
What do you mean, "Cord was busy?"
His car was burned at the marina.
What was he doing at the marina?
Paper says he was at the oil conference at the El Encanto.
Decided to go for a drive, he says he does it all the time.
- That's where I saw him. - What?
I saw him at the El Encanto. I was there last night.
I saw him at the parade and then I made the connection.
Pretty good. Well, we cleared that up.
What time did you say you left the El Encanto?
- Come on... - I've been doing this
all night long with professionals, Alex.
All right, I'm sorry, I apologize.
Talk about your leg or something.
Get your hands out of the guacamole, too.
Can I ask one more question before we talk about my leg?
What time did you leave the El Encanto?
12:00, a little after 12:00.
No kidding.
That's funny because it says in the paper this guy was driving around around midnight,
went down to the yacht club or something to look at his boat
and kaplooie, somebody just happened to blow up his car.
What size car did you say you saw?
Wait a minute. Didn't say anything about blowing the car up.
The car was burned.
This is the fiesta, you know.
There's bars trashed all the time, cars are blown up all the time.
Girls get killed all the time.
What kind of car did you say you saw?
Big car.
Like a Cadillac, maybe?
I don't know.
Okay, I'm sorry, man. You know you're right as rain as usual.
The odds against old J.J. Cord being a trashcan killer
are absolutely out of the question, except for one thing, Rich,
two things in fact. First of all you said it's him.
Now, did I get that quote right?
Not similar, sort of, kind of looks like him a little bit. You said it's him.
And second, big number two, Rich.
His car takes it in the shorts
within 90 minutes of when the girl's body is found.
Now you don't find that even remotely intriguing?
You know, you've got one big problem.
What's that?
Your imagination.
Just facts, Rich.
I mean, I haven't even begun to let my imagination loose on this one.
He's drunk.
Look out!
What makes you say that?
Yeah. Yeah! Yeah!
Motherfucker!
I'm gonna have to give that another try.
You fucking maniac!
Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hey!
It was, uh... It was an honest mistake.
I didn't even see the goddamn thing.
And besides, it was in my driveway.
You lying bastard.
You crazy, crippled, son of a bitch!
Hey, hey, hey.
Don't hit that with me. Come on.
Why don't you go... Come on in the house...
Come on in the house, and have a drink and we'll talk it over, okay, huh?
Hey, you know, my old lady, she's got a vibrator your ass'd love.
Hey, Bone! Bone!
Watch it!
- Come on, let's go inside. - Let's be neighborly.
He's crazy.
Come on, let's just call the police.
Now look what you did.
You woke up the dog.
What the hell are you doing, Alex?
Minding my own business. Doing a little research.
Oh, and I conducted a modest sociological experiment.
Picked up several hitchhikers.
Yeah. An Afro-American homosexual
and two mestizas with a domesticated simian.
Black cat and the two mez chicks weren't bad,
but don't ever orgy with a pet monkey. The little fuckers bite.
You know your insurance has lapsed.
That would be his problem.
Your license has expired.
Car runs fine without one.
...backs it right up where you see it now.
Backs up again, pulls the car...
That's him.
Evening, Officer, Officer.
My name is Alexander Cutter. I'm, uh...
This is my car and I'm real sorry about what happened, sir.
Just what did happen, Mr. Cutter?
He didn't tell you? Well, I'm still a little shaky about it, but
what happened was, see, as I was coming up the street here in my car,
another car flashed by me with his brights on.
I was turning into my driveway, now, you see, I know my driveway by heart,
I kind of have to, and just whammo.
- Can I see your license? - Yes, sir.
What about some language?
Language?
Language, what language?
Jesus.
I simply invited the man to come in and to call you.
I mean, to calm down, really. He seemed pretty upset.
You know this license expired?
Never rains but it pours.
Uh, I didn't know that, no, sir, you'll have to cite me for that.
You have to do your duty.
And duty's something I know a little bit about.
I've cited you for a license violation.
You two can straighten it out with the insurance.
- Thank you, Officer. - Are you kidding me?
This bastard's a goddamn crazy menace. He's a fucking loony.
- Aren't you gonna do something? - We're gonna turn in a report.
The hell with the report. What about him?
What about him?
- Listen, you asshole... - Hey! Excuse me, sir.
You heard me, you goddamn storm trooper,
I'm a taxpayer, God dammit!
So am I.
Good night, Officer.
You goddamn fascist pigs! You assholes!
Forget it, pal. Toyota's a shitty car anyway.
I'm a cripple.
What kind of research you doing in Who's Who?
Nothing special. Just, uh, the serious stuff,
checking up on the younger generation, you know.
Mmm-hmm.
Where cheerleaders spend the night, that sort of thing.
Where do they spend the night?
Wouldn't you like to know, you sly devil.
You know, Bone, did you ever check out Group Therapy?
- No. - You ought to.
It's a new disco near the ocean.
Take that guy with you.
Yeah, and?
And that's where Vicki Duran was when last seen.
Boogying the night away with J.J.?
Nope. J.J. was across the street at the El Encanto,
just like you said.
Which you didn't buy.
I never said that.
Fact is that he was definitely there.
A little reception for some oil people.
But J.J., old J.J., he left around, uh, 11:00.
Yeah, 11:00.
Where did you get that info, Alex?
PR man at the hotel.
Always glad to help out a reporter for the Sunset Magazine.
Always pleased to help such honored guests.
Even if they are a little sauced.
Yeah, so go on, what else happened?
That's it.
What do you mean, "That's it?"
That's it. What the hell else do you want?
I want to know what the fuck you're up to, man.
You know, I can see you really give a shit
if I spend another night in jail, huh? It's my ass, right?
Well...
The world lacks heroes, Rich.
I don't want to be one.
It's got nothing to do with you. You never wanted to be one.
- Where you going? - You can stay here.
Absolutely.
Mi casa es su casa.
And we'll try to hold it down in here for you, too.
Hmm.
Unless you want two strong arms.
Yeah. Slow but steady wins the race.
Hey, there he is, Gazelle Boy.
Had to do it, huh?
Yeah. Like I said, Rich, I press.
One more time, George.
Come on, get up!
Pulled a muscle, gotta take a break.
How are you?
- Okay. - Good.
Alex has been keeping me busy.
Yeah, he's got a gift for that.
Have you changed your mind?
Changed my mind? What do you mean?
Decided that Cord was the man you saw.
Now what could have given you an idea like that?
Hey, Alex! How you doing?
Hey, Georgie. Hi, you look great out there, no kidding.
Georgie, this is Valerie Duran.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Vicki Duran's sister,
the girl that was unfortunately murdered last week.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Nice, Alex.
Well, can I get anybody some lunch? Anybody want some lunch?
Sure, sure we could eat right here.
Oh, no. Susie's not up to it.
How about that new French restaurant?
You fooled me, George. That's pretty nice.
Okay, you guys go ahead, I'll meet you there.
Sure, sure. For coffee, right?
- And the check. - And the check.
I'll see you there.
Let's go, gang, free eats.
Hey, this is a dead end. Alex knows that.
- He said you'd say that. - Yeah, I'll bet he did.
I didn't see his face, I don't want to look at any pictures.
A quote from J.J. Cord.
"I like to pick up hitchhikers.
"Especially young ones. I like their input."
You know, I would go straight to the DA.
That's an open and shut case, you probably get a medal and everything.
Mmm. There's lots more.
Get up, go ahead, read it, let's string this dude up. Come on.
Alex made some phone calls, and what do you think?
Around midnight, at a gas station on the coast highway,
some guy buys two gallons of gas in jeep cans.
Cans, yeah.
He wears a funny hat and glasses.
A funny hat?
Wait a minute, a funny hat.
That's Cord. That is Cord!
Alex, that sounds like Cord to me, doesn't it?
Doesn't it really sound like Cord? Funny hats,
he's always wearing funny hats all over the place.
Hmm.
- Okay, let me try. - Come on.
- Look, Rich. - Yeah.
I'm Cord.
And I got a pint of Chivas in me.
And I'm weaving on home.
And I spot this scrumptious teenybopper.
And, uh, I pull over and I pick her up,
innocent that she is, she's flying high
on angel dust, Thai stick, heck, God knows what.
And, uh, she gets in.
Only, uh, I'm drunk, so I'm having some trouble.
And she starts to laugh.
And I'm old, and I'm fat, and I'm sweaty.
And she's laughing.
She's laughing and she's choking
and she spits my puny cum right in my face.
The fucking bitch.
Bam!
And she ain't laughing anymore.
But...
I'm J.J. Cord.
I turned a wildcat well into a dynasty.
I do not crack.
All I have to do is clean up a very messy car
and get rid of the body.
It's fiesta time.
Happens all the time.
Bars get trashed, cars get burned.
Yeah, so?
So we let him know we know.
That's wonderful, that's really...
- What did I miss? - Hey, not much.
Alex is just making a few jokes about your boss.
- Cord? - Uh-huh.
This isn't the best place to make jokes about Mr. Cord.
That's Mrs. Cord behind me.
Georgie's got a point. Let's walk.
- Get the check, will you, Georgie Porgie? - Mmm-hmm.
Hello, Patricia, how are you?
Hello, George. Who are your friends?
Oh, that's Richard Bone, one of my salesmen from the marina.
Oh, I see. Charming.
Enjoy your lunch.
Thank you.
So we pretend blackmail,
and then when he pays, we go to the police.
We got him.
Okay, so maybe we don't do that.
Now, Alex admitted he might try to talk us out of that,
but whatever, it's up to me because she was my sister...
Okay, let me say something for a second...
- He's got to pay... - Let me say something, all right?
Let's say you are right, okay? You're not right, let's say you are, though.
Look, you shouldn't be worried about blackmail, sweetheart,
that's not your problem. Your problem is your ass
because if you're right and you mess with this guy,
you're going to wind up nailed to the mast of a leaky boat.
If you're right, I'd be careful. Very, very careful.
Sure.
That's why you go shouting out your whole story
in a restaurant full of all Cord's friends, people who work for him?
Well, uh, actually, Rich...
You know, uh, I'd say that you're the one that ought to be very, very careful, not us.
You're the witness, remember?
That's right.
Your fantasy, my ass.
All right. So we'll be more careful.
But he can't get away with it.
Oh, no, of course not. The forces of good.
A little blackmail, a little perjury.
We can all retire to a tropical isle, live in luxury.
Hold it, Bone!
You sanctimonious bore.
Who the hell are you anyway, huh?
Fastest dick on the beach?
Hell.
While you were getting laid in the Ivy League,
I was getting my ass shot up.
Don't give me any lectures on morality.
In fact...
In fact, Rich, let me give you one.
Don't tell me, let me guess. This is going to be the one
about how you see life exactly the way it is, right?
Everything's a total crock of shit.
Or is it about your leg? Oh, please, not the leg. God.
I watched the war on TV just like everybody else, okay?
Thought the same damn things, you know, what you thought
when you saw a picture of a young woman with a baby
lying face down, dead in a ditch.
Two gooks.
You had three reactions, Rich,
same as everybody else.
The first one was real easy.
"I hate the United States of America."
Yeah.
You see the same damn thing the next day and you move up a notch,
"There is no God."
- Yeah. - But you know what you finally say,
what everybody finally says, no matter what?
"I'm hungry."
I'm hungry, Rich, I'm fucking starved.
So you pick out somebody to blackmail?
I didn't pick him out, you did.
And he isn't somebody. He's responsible.
- For the girl? - For everything.
Him and all the motherfuckers in the world just like him. They're all the same.
So let's blow up AT&T.
You know why they're all the same, Rich?
Because it's never their ass that's on the line, never.
It's always somebody else's.
Always yours, mine, ours.
So leave off the morality, okay?
And don't write me off as a money-grubbing bastard altogether.
Okay.
But you don't need me. Do it yourself.
That way you'd only have to split the money two ways.
It's like trying to seduce a eunuch.
Did they show you Vicki's body?
Well, I just wondered.
'Cause I thought maybe if they had, you'd be with us on this.
Could be.
Where are you going?
Sailing. You want to come, Alex?
- I'd like to. - Oh.
Maybe revenge isn't the only thing on your mind, huh?
Have fun, girls.
Nothing really counts, does it?
Not much.
Not even murder.
You know what I think, Richard? You know...
Valerie.
I think we should do what we want to do.
I didn't see his face.
That's not why I'm here.
You don't want this. Watch your back.
Why, don't you?
Because it's got nothing to do with me.
This is Alex's fantasy.
You want to live it out, you do it with him, not me.
I just don't want you getting hurt, that's all.
Don't flatter yourself, Bone.
All right. Then sit down and forget about it.
That son of a...
Where are you going?
What do you care?
Come on, if you wait a second, I'll give you a lift back to the hotel.
No thanks, I'd rather hitchhike.
Hey, Richie! Hey!
You got a minute?
Yeah.
Look, Rich. I wouldn't mind being in your shoes sometimes.
But I think in the end, you'll tire of all this drifting.
Now just stay on here. Permanently.
Take the customers out.
You look great on the deck.
And anything you sell, you get 5%.
And what do you get?
With you around? I get to know what Alex is up to.
And speaking of Alex, what's he up to?
Alex. He feels the world's short of heroes.
He's trying to fill the gap.
I don't know about him lately though, Rich.
I mean, it's a little funny, but it's a little more than that.
You know what he said to me last week?
He said he would sell me the next five years of his life.
I mean, that's what he said.
For $50,000.
And in return, he wouldn't damage my merchandise.
Now what does that mean?
Can you believe that?
- I told him he was crazy. - You got that right.
Where am I going to get that kind of money? And for what?
Ha!
Well, I better get my ass in gear.
- Lock up for me, would you? - Yeah, sure.
You see? It's not so bad. A little responsibility.
Just take it one step at a time.
Sooner or later, you're going to have to make a decision about something.
Come on, Tiger, let's go home.
Calcutta, Black Hole speaking.
It's me.
Yeah? Great.
Listen, I've changed my mind.
About what?
Cord.
It's too late.
What do you mean?
I just slashed my wrist.
Well, tape it.
"I will phone your office to arrange a personal meeting with you.
"Time is of the essence.
"Richard Bone, witness."
Brilliant. It's goddamned brilliant.
We got that motherfucker's balls in a vice.
What a team. What a goddamn team, huh.
Not since the Three Musketeers, one for all and all for one.
Mmm-hmm.
- You want me to sign this, right? - Right.
Nah.
It's my main squeeze, bringing home the bacon.
Ain't she a swell gal, hmm?
You want me to sign this? Tell her.
Blackmail, huh?
What's all this crap?
Food. Real food.
This, for instance, is a tomato.
Food, huh? Yeah, I remember food.
People used to have to eat it during the prohibition, didn't they?
Occasionally, for days on end.
You serious?
I, uh, lost my head.
I was on my way to the Liquor Locker as usual,
and, uh, all of a sudden I got an overwhelming desire to eat.
To eat real food.
I couldn't stop myself.
You know, vegetable, piece of meat.
I tried to stop myself, God knows I did, Alex.
But then it happened.
7-Eleven.
Food will never catch on, darling.
No.
I'll take everything back, Alex, I promise.
Why?
Just to make you happy.
You remember a conversation Rich and I had about a Mr. Cord?
Well, our investigation has proceeded apace, as they say.
Things are beginning to crystallize,
and, uh, we are, all three of us, Rich included, agreed.
It was Cord who killed Valerie's sister.
So we're going to apply a little pressure.
And if he pays, we're going to bust him.
Telling you, it was Bone's idea. Me? I would have waited.
Wait a minute. You're going to blackmail J.J. Cord?
And if he pays, you're going to turn him over to the cops with the money?
Is that right?
- You got it, kid. - This is really insulting of you, Alex.
This is more bullshit than I expect, even from you, in a day.
You're an asshole!
Whatever you say.
It can work. Just like he said. And that's what I want.
To get Cord and then just turn in the money.
Get fucked, sweetie!
Don't be abusive, Mo.
Abusive, Alex? How could anyone be abusive with the three of you?
A band of would-be extortionists. Really?
Now wait a minute, hold it just one little minute, here.
And let me refresh your burnt-out little memory.
Valerie here did just lose her sister, you with me so far or you want a drink?
And if Cord killed her, very likely, it seems to me
that whatever we do falls under the heading of justice.
Justice, pure and simple.
Simple, Alex, hardly pure. Dishonorable and gutless.
Now, you know a lot about guts, do you?
Oh, you bet I do. Guts is hanging around in this pigsty
month after month, waiting for you to get the nerve to start living again
and what does it get me?
You and your fucking cronies in the playpen planning a dumb crime!
I don't see much use in this. I'm gonna go.
You're a little charmer, aren't you?
I mean, your sister's what, two days in the ground?
And you're already planning how you're gonna cash in.
We're not gonna keep the money.
Oh, shit. Give me a break, will you?
Richard, I'm going.
Wait a minute, hold it. This was your idea, Bone,
telling little mama all about it. Speak up.
I got nothing to say, Alex.
Of course not. He's got nothing to say!
When does he ever have anything to say? Or what about you?
You're not some saint avenging the sins of the earth, you know, Alex.
And if you are, what am I doing here? Oh, I know. I'm like your leg.
Your leg! Sending messages to your brain and there's nothing there anymore.
I wouldn't.
- You all right? - Yeah.
You think this is the first time?
You make it the last, Alex.
Whatever you say, partner.
I'm sorry.
Someday in Tahiti, we'll look back on all this and, uh, laugh.
There she blows.
Gonna be fine, just fine, Rich, do your thing.
That's easy for you to say. I'm gonna be the one out there all alone.
On point. Only place to be. Purple Heartland.
That's where I was, Rich.
Used to call this the wet-ass hour.
Really know how to give a guy confidence, Alex.
Hey, pal, you're just delivering the mail.
Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow, nor gloom of night...
Can I help you?
Yeah, uh, I'm supposed to meet a friend here.
Hi. I'm here to see Mr. Cord, and, uh...
You're kind of sexy.
Do you have an appointment?
No, no, I don't have an appointment, but I have to see him.
It's a matter of crucial concern to Mr. Cord.
It concerns the night his car was burned.
I'm sure he'd be very, very glad to hear from me,
but it has to be from me, personally.
Well, I don't have that authority, I'm sorry.
I'll have to go to my superior, Miss Ironcrotch.
Yeah?
No kidding. Well you, uh...
You know, you do what you have to do, miss.
If I were you, I'd go as high as I can.
I'm sure Mr. Cord would be very unhappy if too many people knew about this.
You can skip right past Ironcrotch and go on to Mr. Stepan Fetchit.
That's as far as he's gonna get.
Come on, let's go.
Out of sight, man, what happened?
Okay, I pressed the dude, right?
I told him, I said, "Look, this is a very personal, very important letter."
I told him how Cord gonna have his ass if anybody else got a hold of the letter, right?
- That's it! - That's exactly it.
Now, it's up to him.
- You did it! - Well, I gotta call him back at 1:00.
He did it! Bonehead did it!
You did it, Boner! You did it! That Baby Bones!
You're really gonna nail that guy with the huge head
and a leeny, teeny weeny, weeny, weeny...
We did it!
It's a grand old flag It's a high ﬂying flag
Wherever with grace may you wave
It's the emblem of the land I love
The home of the free and the brave
Yay, one more time.
What do you think?
- Oh, I try not to. - Hmm.
I mean, about me, or about what Mo said.
Vicki only being dead a few days and me trying to cash in.
We all have our reasons. That's mine, right?
- Rich. Rich! It's time to call Cord. - One sec.
What do you mean, "One sec?" Call him now.
Hey, I'm gonna win a doll here.
Yeah? You've been trying to win a doll for half an hour. Come on.
Piss me off, Bone.
Give him his goddamned doll.
Give this clown enough to cover any damage.
You'll get it back in a couple hours. Come on.
Yeah.
He didn't, huh?
Oh, I see. But he gave him the message.
No, I understand. Fine, thank you.
No.
Wait... What does that mean?
- No dice, man, no dice. - What?
He gave Cord the message. Price gave it to him personally, and that's it.
That's all there is.
Which is nothing, no response.
The murdering bastard. The murdering bastard!
Shit! Fuck! What can I do? Are you fucked?
Sorry, Alex, there's no sale, you know?
That God damn... That fucking murdering bastard! God damn it!
You fucking shitting me!
God damn! Fuck! Shit!
Fuck! Fuck!
Shit! Fuck!
I didn't deliver the letter, Alex!
Why not?
Because the game's over.
You may be suicidal, I'm not.
Yeah. It takes too much commitment.
Yeah. Yeah, you tickle me, Bone.
Yeah, you know, look! If you want... If you...
If you don't wanna hang around anymore
and you want to go home where the heart is,
go!
I'm sure Mo's very lonely, too.
Me?
I'm gonna, uh...
I'm gonna nail the bastard.
Come on, Val. It's you and me.
Mo?
Hello, Rich. Enjoy yourself?
Yes, I did.
Well, they're pretty good, what there is of them.
I'm an eyes man.
- Bloodshot? - Yeah. Most of the time.
Where's Alex?
He's fighting the good fight.
What about you?
Me? I chickened out.
Amazing. A moment of weakness or sanity?
I don't know.
You know, I was hoping that when nothing happened,
this scheme would just dissolve or something, I don't know.
And Valerie. Did she chicken out, too?
No, no. No, she's hanging in till the bitter end.
Hello.
Hi.
Fine.
Wonderful.
Yo.
Hey, look, man, I wish you all the luck, you know?
You did?
Well, that's terrific.
He's gonna send you a message. Uh-huh.
Thank you, Alex.
Thank you very much.
Yes, I'll tell her.
Okay. We won't expect you.
Bye-bye.
Well, he's done it. Gave Cord the letter.
He's also forgiven me of my sins,
and he wanted me to tell you to be sure to be extra nice
because my ego has been so badly bruised of late. And...
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
Well, Rich.
Sanity is positively
taking over.
It's an off day.
Speaking of which, do you want to take the day off?
Anything special in mind?
Probably.
We could start with the old stand-bys, you know, loaf of bread, jug of wine...
- Cheese. - Cheese.
We're old enough to know
And that won't change the way
Your eyes look back like photographs
Of others I can see
We're old enough to know
One night can't take away
Faces look for lovers
But your seeing grabbed on me
We're old enough to know that it can't be
Don't bother, Rich.
Can't remember all the faces
Can't remember half the names
But I remember all the times that were like this
All the thrilling and the chasing
You'd only be disappointed.
I'd lose a friend.
Hmm. I don't think so.
Let's find out.
You really are a slave to it, aren't you?
Gee, Mo, if you don't want to, that's fine,
but you don't have to knock the feeling, you know?
You're right. Sorry.
It's a bad habit.
I guess we really don't have that much to lose, do we?
Wait a minute.
This is my big exit
But I'm moving awful slow, slow, slow
Thought it was just another show
And though I know it isn't true
I may just play along ﬁne
But we're both old enough to know how it will end
I'll even say that I love you
I'll even promise I won't lie
- Rich, can I ask you a question? - Yeah, sure.
Do you still mean any of what you said?
Yeah. I think so.
How much?
I said I love you.
Relax, Rich.
The, um, Richard Bone Fan Club is now complete.
No more holdouts.
Well...
Yes?
Is there something else?
Do you know what I do, Rich?
Sometimes...
Hmm?
You know, when I wake up in the night alone and I can't sleep.
I have to go and look and see if I'm still here.
Mo, I'll be here.
I just stand there,
looking.
And I wonder...
I really wonder if I care.
If I ever really cared.
Or if... Or if all I...
...ever do is pretend.
It's... No, Rich, it's not you. It's me.
I'm gonna stay.
Would you?
Just tonight, you know.
Please.
Shh.
Come on.
Never met a man so eager to make a fool of himself on the field of combat.
- Richie! Richard! - Yeah, I'm down here, George.
- Where's Alex? - In LA, why?
What happened?
Open it.
Mo.
You okay?
I've been better.
Susie wants you to have the guest house for as long as you need it.
- Come on, George. You and Susie? - Yeah.
Let's go to the polo club, get a drink.
I don't drink.
You know the routine grind drives me to drink. Tragedy I take straight.
I need a drink.
Why don't you go play, George?
I'll stay here with you, there's always a game.
I'd kind of like to watch you play.
I'm gonna score one for you, Alex.
You've been watching too many Babe Ruth movies, George.
It's kind of a funny hat, wouldn't you say?
Like the kind the gas station attendant said the guy with the jeep cans wore.
What, you think Cord killed Mo?
I know he did, so do you.
'Cause of the blackmail letter?
The letter, what a crock.
Jesus, I win the prize.
Alexander Cutter underestimates the rich.
I was one.
It's simple, Rich. It's real easy.
Your picture was in the paper, remember, page one.
He knew who you were from the first and not only you, but me, Valerie and Mo.
You think we haven't been watched?
He may be scared, but he's smart and powerful.
He had your baptism papers within the first half hour,
a list of your friends and every broad you've racked for the past ten years.
You never had to deliver any blackmail letter.
All you had to do was go to the Cord Building.
So what are you gonna do?
It's not a question of what I'm gonna do.
It's a question of what you're gonna do with the time you've got left.
They weren't after Mo. They were after you.
He just didn't see you leave.
The ball is in play.
No, huh?
That night I left...
She was pretty depressed, you know, things got kind of heavy.
You're unbelievable. You are truly unbelievable.
What a monster fucking ego!
I mean, you walk out on a girl and what choice has she got,
she just heads straight for the oven, right?
I mean, what's left her?
Nice, Rich. Really nice. Nice.
- Fuck you! - When you gonna walk?
I know you're gonna try.
I know you're gonna try to do your little walk.
Richard Bone always does his famous walk.
Walk!
Walk.
Walk. Walk.
Walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk!
Walk. Walk.
Alex!
You killed my wifey! You...
They're gonna crucify you!
They'll crucify you!
You're gonna pay!
Walk, walk, walk, walk!
Permission to come aboard.
Come on in, Rich.
I'm worried about you and Alex.
I mean, hassling guys at the local pub is one thing,
but J.J. Cord, that's crazy.
Even with Mo and all, he is way overboard.
He's practically barricaded himself in my guest house.
Won't come out, won't let me in. I don't know what he does for food.
What is this about Cord murdering somebody?
I don't know.
You know Alex. He, you know, picked up on something and won't let it go.
Well, he better.
That sounds a little final, George.
Why? Somebody said something about yesterday?
Look, you know I feel responsible for Alex in a lot of ways.
When my mother died, his mom took me in like a second son.
I know.
Cord has helped me out, too. He set me up.
But he's in a whole other league,
they don't play games. They play for keeps.
Okay.
He presses on this one, and he's in serious trouble.
Now, I have a lot on my mind, so I know you'll take care of him.
I mean, if you need anything, I'm here.
But I don't want to lose him.
Hey. Alex.
Private R. Bone reporting to General George Armstrong Cutter.
All quiet on the western front, sir!
I think tomorrow is our best bet.
All right, I'll bite. For what?
For a meeting with Cord.
You've got down here he's having a party tomorrow.
Yeah.
I figure I'd like to have as many people around as possible, you know.
I hear he's dangerous.
You've been invited, huh?
'Course I've been invited, I wouldn't go without an invitation.
We're invited.
This is George's.
I understand if you don't want to have anything to do with this,
but I'd like you there.
But it's up to you.
George is pretty frightened.
So am I. Fool not to be.
- Still, it's up to you. - I mean, he's scared, man.
You know why?
Cord killed his father.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
Alex is really around the bend, huh?
This you can check out with Georgie.
You see, in the '30s, his old man used to own the entire marina.
Cord was always trying to buy it from him, but no sale.
Old man Swanson was one tough son of a bitch, he was a great guy.
Anyway, somebody offed his old lady. That broke him.
He went after Cord.
Unfortunately, he found him. He got beat up real bad.
Ended up a vegetable and died.
Georgie was just a kid. He was a kid, but he knew something.
And all of a sudden, Cord started paying extra special attention to him, you know.
Put him through college, put him up in the marina.
Trying to help the poor kid. Sure.
And keep real close tabs on him, too.
So, yeah, Georgie's scared, he's scared shitless.
Has been his whole life.
It's got nothing to do with Georgie.
It's got something to do with us.
So like I say, Rich,
it's up to you.
You sure about this, Alex?
Not really.
No, I'm not.
Then what the hell are we doing here?
Cord sent us a message, he killed my wife.
Look.
That last night with Mo, she was depressed.
I mean, she was really depressed.
So, who isn't?
You take it pretty good, don't you?
Which part?
The dying part or the screwing part?
Alex, what's this gonna prove?
It's not like it's gonna change anything.
It's not gonna bring her back. It's not gonna take away our guilt.
It's no gonna make you whole again, you know that.
Nothing's ever gonna do that.
I, uh... I gotta go, I go.
What are you gonna do, kill him?
That's what I do.
If you want to walk, I understand.
I think Mo'd like this.
She always liked to play dress up.
Excuse me, fellas, uh...
Oh! Excuse me!
Excuse me. I'm Mrs. Cord.
Alexander Richard.
How do you do?
With such a charming hostess, marvelously.
Yes, well, if there's anything I can do, please, uh, let me know.
Okay.
Bone.
- You seen Cord? - Not yet.
Well, saw his wife in there, she gave me a real weird look.
Then he knows we're here. Let's go find the murdering bastard.
- Give me the gun. - Are you serious?
Alex, you look ridiculous, give me the gun.
It isn't loaded.
Let's, uh, mingle.
Howdy, uh, just put your arms around me.
I'm trying to... I'm trying to avoid somebody.
- Just laugh, like you're... - I'm supposed to laugh at you?
Just look at me and kiss me.
My God, there are surprises, no wonder you didn't...
Great. I'm Richard Alexander
with C.C. & Mutual Investment. How're you doing?
It's been pleasant chit-chatting with you.
Alex!
- Alex! What are you doing? - I'm looking for Cord.
I know you're looking for Cord. Look, will you wait for me?
- Come on! - Wait!
Come on, let's look.
Let's stick with the crowd. You stick out too much.
We already checked out the crowd, he isn't in the crowd.
Come on, will you? I know every room in this house.
Why don't we all go out into the garden?
I've got the most magnificent roses you've ever seen in your life.
Hey! Let's stick with the crowd. We don't stand out so much.
We checked the crowd. We're looking for Cord, remember? Come on!
- Hold it right there, fellas. - Move your ass, Alex!
Come on, Bone!
All right, all right, all right. All right? Ow!
Mr. Bone,
I do hope you aren't hurt.
Come in, Mr. Bone.
I'll take care of it, my dear. Thank you.
- Mr. Cutter? - Richard Bone.
How did you find your way into this house?
Uh... We used George Swanson's invitation.
That's right, he just called me. He seemed quite disturbed.
Not very coherent.
As I understand it,
this young friend of yours is pursuing some fantasy of his own,
and it includes me. Is that correct?
Something like that.
I don't find that very pleasant, you understand that?
Yes, I do.
A veteran, isn't he?
- Excuse me? - I understand he's a veteran.
Uh-huh.
Well, I've been in the war.
I know what it does to some men.
I'm willing to talk to your friend if you think it will do any good.
Do you think it will do any good?
Cord!
Alex!
Alex. Jesus.
Alex, it was him!
It was him!
Alex?
It was you.
What if it were?