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[woman laughs]
[Cam] Will you help me?
I'm definitely gonna help you.
Check this out.
We smoke a joint,
and we'll just chill out for a second, all right?
We'll just clear our heads.
We'll be able to, like, see the task at hand
and make, like, clear-headed decisions
'cause you don't want to do this alone.
We'll make a plan.
And we'll just do it.
Dude, are you fucking kidding me? We have to smoke this shit.
-[sighs] -We have to, like...
We have to, like, sample it.
It's like these are our wares. We're fucking merchants.
We gotta sample this shit.
Dude. Put it back, put it back, put it back.
This is... This isn't even mine, okay? This is Austin's.
It's not even Austin's, okay? It's not ours to touch.
Dude, we'll take, like, one or two buds.
Or we'll, like... We'll take, like, ten buds and, like,
just, like, make a little sample being for ourselves.
-You know what I mean? Like... -What are you doing?
No, that's how it's done. We'll take, like, one fistful.
Let me take one fistful.
Let me take, like, two fistfuls. Hold on.
Hold on. Look how much there is.
-Put it back, put it back. -Just listen to me.
You don't know about these things, I do.
-What do you mean? -It's common knowledge.
You have to sample your fucking wares.
We gotta smoke, like,
at least, like, a fistful of this
before you fucking sell it. We gotta smoke, like, that shit.
Just a little bit of it.
[Cam] My name is Cam.
My fiancé's name is Austin.
He left a bag in my trunk. It was a shit ton of weed.
And all I had to do was deliver it to a guy named Jamie.
I don't know.
It's not that hard of a thing to do, I guess.
But I can't help but feel...
I don't know. I had shit to do today.
He just assumes I'm there,
which I am, I guess.
I think that's what people like about me. I'm there.
I'm there when they need something, you know?
I feel good being dependable.
Dude, this is kind of fucked up. Like, if you think about it,
it's kind of fucked up that we have to do this for him, you know?
It's like... I mean, I love pot, you know?
I love pot, but something about it
just doesn't seem right, you know what I mean?
And I'm not scared. I mean, you definitely called the right person.
[Jinky] I probably wouldn't have gone to college anyway,
but I had to help my dad out with the store.
So, after high school, I've just been doing that ever since.
My name's Jinky, you know, and I work at a convenience store.
It just kind of all makes sense 'cause I'm Jinky.
It's kind of a fucked-up name if you think about it,
but, you know, as long as it's, like, a noun and not an adjective,
I'm fine with it.
The thing about weed is that it makes you see things very, very clearly.
When I was little, my brother was like, "Jinky,
if you can see things clearly the way they are, without smoking weed,
that's the real high."
But I don't know.
I'm not sure if I ever found that.
I try to find it, you know?
I try to see the best in people.
Cam's, like, the best person in the entire fucking world.
And I know that sounds, like... It sounds ridiculous.
A lot of people think that about a lot of other people.
The thing about Cam is that she's the real fucking deal.
'Cause she's smart, you know? I mean, she knows what she wants to do in life.
Like, she has a plan.
You think we need a gun?
I'm feeling a little naked, you know what I mean?
Like, we're just, like, going in there with our, like, nothing, you know?
It's just Cam and Jinky. We're not getting a gun.
Like, have you ever done this before?
'Cause that's the thing, is, like, once we're in it,
it's gonna be too late, you know what I mean?
So we have to be prepared.
Like, even if it's just a toy gun that kind of looks like a gun,
it's, like, I think it's enough.
All right, Jink. Let's just keep it simple, okay?
-Let's keep it simple. -We're gonna need backup, you know?
We're gonna need, like, a cash person to, like, get the fucking cash,
and then we'll need someone to, like, deliver the fucking backpack.
You know, the less people we have, the simpler it is.
Let's keep it like that, okay?
Yeah, I know, but it's, like, do you want to be the person,
like, delivering the weed and, like, getting the cash?
Like, we should probably have, like, a team of people,
like, you know, like a driver.
Like, we'll probably need, like, a getaway.
If shit goes wrong, like, we'll need, to just, like, jump into a car
and have it fucking move, you know what I mean?
Let's think about it, right? I mean, Austin sent me.
It's Austin's person. It can't be...
It's probably another white guy with dreadlocks.
-Nothing to worry about. -Cam, are you sure about this?
Like, I don't think you're taking this, like, very seriously.
This, is, like, a life-or-death kind of situation, you know what I mean?
Like this shit could go very wrong.
Like, you're thinking best-case scenario, like, I'm thinking worst-case scenario.
'Cause the way I see it, like I'm kind of like your friend,
but I'm also, like, above you a little bit, you know?
Like, not in, like, a bossy way,
but just, like, in a... Like a good, like, manager kind of way, you know?
Like a business partnership kind of way.
What are you talking about? I don't need a manager.
-I'm not gonna, like... -I don't need supervision.
...go over the top or anything, you know? But these are just basics.
I'm not a drug dealer.
My boyfriend might be, but I am not.
All right, all I'm doing is just, just... Just doing Austin a favor.
That's all. I'm just doing a favor.
I know what you're saying,
but the thing is, we're two girls. Anything can happen.
What do you say?
But he's relying on me.
I can't let him down.
What can I actually do? What can... What can I not do?
All right, let's go smoke.
That's probably the last thing to do. [chuckles]
I feel like if we light that joint,
we're gonna be here for another three hours.
I guarantee you...
[crowd cheering]
It's gonna take five minutes for us to smoke this joint...
[engines revving]
From the time I light it to the time we smoke it.
[jet engines revving]
Okay?
Being engaged is fun.
[laughs] It is.
I don't know, it's...
I feel like it's important and...
You know, whatever.
If we take three years, we take three years.
Fuck it.
[Jinky] What was it like, I mean, when he asked you?
What was that moment like for you?
[Cam] I wasn't really thinking about it,
but like, when he asked, it was easy.
"Yes."
'Cause I just woke up... I mean, he got me when I woke up.
So I feel like that's, like, the cleanest time
when your brain's just not even clouded over by anything,
right when you wake up.
And I just knew, like that,
"Yeah, this is the next level."
And he said, "Babe, you want to get married?"
And I was like, "Yeah."
[chuckles] I still had, like, crust in my eyes,
and I was wearing my pajamas.
And he kissed me, and then he left.
[Jinky] I think people get married
'cause they feel like they're supposed to.
Like that's the next thing to do and...
And everyone, like, freaks out if people don't get married.
[chuckles] It's so weird.
I wouldn't want to, like, change my name
and I wouldn't want to be called, like, "Mrs." something, and...
Or maybe I would.
I guess that's romantic for, like, two seconds.
Like, I think about it sometimes, and it's, like...
It's kind of romantic for, like, two seconds.
But then, I don't know.
Like, I just want to be myself.
I remember, once, Ryan proposed to me.
-Ryan who? -From high school. Ryan.
Ryan Minnelli?
-Yeah. -[chuckles]
You dated him for, like, two weeks.
-Yeah, but he was, like-- -[laughing] Wait, he proposed to you?
Yeah.
And he...
No, he didn't actually propose.
He kind of said, like... Well, when we broke up,
he was like, "I would have married you."
So it's kind of like a proposal.
Um...
And I was just like...
Whatever. That would be so weird.
Like if I was stuck with Ryan Minnelli for the rest of my life,
like, tethered to him somehow.
And to, like, go home and be like, "I'm home."
[chuckles] That's so weird.
Why would I... Why would I want that?
I don't want to tell anyone I'm home. I just want to go home.
Like, I'm home.
Whatever. Maybe I'm just not...
I guess I'm not normal, but...
I don't know, sometimes I think about it,
and it's been, like...
I think it's been two and a half years.
It was, like, last, last January.
I think it's kind of cool
that you guys aren't married yet, actually.
You really think it's cool?
You're treating engagement like marriage, it's like...
It could go on for ten years and then it could end,
and you could not get married.
Do you think maybe he forgot he asked you?
No.
I mean, he doesn't really have any short-term memory left.
It's totally possible that he just completely forgot.
I don't think he forgot.
It's okay.
[sighs]
Let's smoke.
[whispers] Come on. Let's go smoke.
You know you want to.
Let's go smoke. [chuckles]
[wind blowing]
[Jinky] You should come hang out with me in the store
-like you used to. -[lighter clicks]
[Cam] I haven't been there in, like, eight years.
[Jinky] My parents always ask about you.
-[Cam] Do they? -Yeah.
[Cam] You're a good daughter.
I want pizza.
Wouldn't pizza be so good right now?
Let's get Mr. Pizza pizza.
Oh, wow, Mr. Pizza pizza.
And I want the golden potato crust thingy.
I need pizza.
[whispering] Pizza, pizza, pizza...
♪ Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, I love you ♪
I think it's a good idea.
We'll get two larges,
one that's just plain with the golden thingy
and then the other one with the extra corn.
♪ Pizza, pizza, pizza, I'm there for you ♪
I don't even have reception on my phone right now.
Just tell them we're in the park and tell them, like, some landmarks,
I don't know.
And, like, we'll give them our phone numbers.
Let's get the pizza. Let's put this plan into action.
I mean, what if...
What if we call and then we just don't even know
what time they're gonna show up?
I'm gonna order a pizza.
And you can't have any of it unless you help me order the pizza.
We don't know what time they're gonna show up,
so we're, like, here, waiting forever.
And then if we're here waiting forever,
I'm never gonna get my stuff delivered.
Don't be like, "I need pizza," and once the pizza gets here
and I've done all of the work.
Let's just, let's work together.
I want the pizza anyway,
but, um, I'll help you, but, like, there's just so many problems with it.
I've just told you.
I've just told you all of the steps to get the pizza.
Do I have to do everything?
It's just... Just, all you have to do is get your phone
and then dial in the numbers and tell them we're here.
We are here in the park amidst the tall trees and...
[stammers] And there's... There's
[man] So what are your ladies' names?
-[Jinky] "Ladies"? [chuckles] -Ladies.
-I'm a lady. -You're a lady?
-I'm Cam. Cam. -I'm Josh.
-Nice to meet you. -[Cam] Nice to meet you.
-Jinky. -[Josh] Jinky?
-[Jinky] Yeah, Jinky. -Jinky.
-[overlapping] What's your name? -You're a little giggly, huh, Jinky?
-I'm Cam. -[Fernando] Fernando, nice to meet you.
-What is your name? Jinky? -Jinky.
-Oh, yeah. Fernando. -I just told you.
I'm a straight pride. That's all, you know.
Yeah, but that's not really my name, but there was this girl in my class,
her name was Pinky, so they started calling me Jinky.
And then I used to say "Jinx, black magic" when someone said the same thing as me,
and so then they started calling me Jinx, and now they call me Jinky.
[Josh] Interesting. [Cam] Even her family calls her Jinky.
-[Josh] Your mom calls you Jinky, too? -[giggles]
[Josh] That's cute.
What are you guys doing here by yourselves?
-[Jinky] We're hanging out. -Hanging out?
-Just chilling. -It looks like you guys
are just doing more than just hanging out, though.
We're thinking about pizza.
-You're thinking about pizza? -[Jinky] We want pizza.
-I just had pizza. Yeah. -You did?
Don't you wish you had pizza?
-What kind of pizza did you have? -Pepperoni.
-Oh, my God. -With sausage.
-Oh, my God. -Right?
[Jinky] You just had pizza? [Fernando] Yeah.
-[Josh] We just had pizza, we just-- -Shut up.
[Josh] Yeah. [Cam] What kind of pizza did you have?
At a pizzeria. We just came from...
-Which pizzeria? Which one? -In Koreatown.
You went to Mr. Pizza pizza?
-Exactly. -[Cam gasps]
-No way! -[gasps] Oh, my God!
[both squealing, laughing]
You went to Mr. Pizza pizza?
-Yeah, you guys been there? -Oh, my God!
Yeah, we've just been talking about getting pizza from Mr. Pizza.
This is fucking fate. This is fate.
We were just fucking talking about Mr. Pizza for so long.
[Jinky] Oh, my God, seriously, we were just been talking about Mr. Pizza pizza.
-[whispers] Oh, shit. -[Josh] It was meant to be.
-[Cam] Destiny. -Right? That's what I'm saying.
[Cam] This is a sign, Jinky. It's a sign, Mr. Pizza pizza.
-Do you think they would deliver to us? -That's a sign you guys are hungry.
-Yeah, we're so hungry. -[Josh] You guys got the munchies.
[Cam] And we got the munchies... [Jinky] We do got the munchies bad.
[Fernando] I don't think they'll deliver here, though.
Yeah, they will. We'll tell them we're next to this tree.
Yeah, tell them we're next to the tree and...
[Cam] And the car. [Josh] Yeah, and the car.
[Cam] We'll tell them we're by the tree and the car.
[Josh] Yeah, you should tell them that. [Cam] Okay, okay, it's decided.
-We'll tell them like, the intersection... -[Cam] Okay.
-...of the tree and the car. -[Josh] Yeah.
-Do you guys need a phone? -[Jinky] Well...
-We already have a phone. -[Jinky] Who are you guys?
We're just friendly travelers on our bikes.
-You're friendly travelers on your bikes? -Yeah.
Never trust a guy who says he's a friendly traveler.
-Why not? -[Jinky] Why?
-He's a friendly traveler on his bike. -You don't think I'm friendly?
-Mmm... No, I think you're friendly. -Uh...
Maybe when you guys leave the park, you could call Mr. Pizza pizza for us
-and get the pizza delivered. -[Josh] Or, or, or I got a better idea.
Maybe you could give me your number and I could call them.
-Give him your number. -[Josh] Yeah.
-That's a better idea. -Give him your number.
I'm... I'm engaged. [laughs] I can't give you my number.
-So? Yeah. -It's for pizza.
What is wrong with you?
He's not even asking like that.
-Yeah, I'm not asking-- Yeah. -[Jinky] You're so full of yourself.
-I'm just saying... -Listen to her. I like her.
I don't think Austin would be really happy
if I just gave out my number... [mutters indistinctly]
Oh, my God, are you being serious right now?
-[Cam] Yes. -You're engaged to a moron, number one.
Number two, he's just gonna help us get the pizza.
She's dating this horrible person.
Don't say that.
-Why? Why? Talk to me. Why? -Because...
Okay, all right, let's ask him.
-Let's ask him what he thinks. -[Cam sighs]
And I'm sorry if this is an over-share,
but they've been engaged for two and a half years now,
and there's no sign of marriage. What do you think's gonna happen?
-[Cam sighs] Jinky... -I think he has no...
He's not the right one.
[Jinky] He's not the right one. [Cam] Really?
[Jinky laughing]
-Objective opinion here. -[Josh] Listen.
-I never even met this person before. -Listen.
-This is true. -[Cam] Jinky...
Oh, my God. I'm so embarrassed.
-[Josh] Why are you embarrassed? -Because...
Yeah, it's true.
You think so, she's dating a horrible guy?
Not only that, but he gave her a backpack full of weed this morning
and was like, "Can you deliver this?"
To, like, some person she doesn't even know.
-I kinda know-- -[Jinky] What would you do?
What... You kinda know?
-I mean, I know, I've heard the name... -No, no, no, no.
You should not... You should not be a middleman for anybody,
especially a moron.
-Your best friend is... I like her. -[Jinky] Yes.
Yes, you do not want to be a middleman for anybody.
-I'm... But he's my man. -No.
Look, look, look. I'm gonna give you my number.
Whenever he has you do that,
you call me.
You call her. I'm gonna call him. We're gonna take that backpack,
and we're gonna smoke that weed, and we're gonna go eat pizza.
That's what I've been saying this whole time.
Don't you think that's the safest thing to do
is just to smoke all the weed?
-That way there's no trace of the weed? -[Josh] Exactly!
You don't have to deliver it to anybody.
[Josh] How are you gonna find weed that is already smoked?
Forget your man.
What do you think about that?
See? He appreciates my value.
He appreciates my thinking. I...
-Do you think I think thoughts? -[Josh] I think that you think good.
-I think good. It's better than thoughts. -[Josh] Yeah.
-I think good. -[Josh] Yeah.
[Josh] So it was nice talking to you.
[Cam] It was nice talking to you. [chuckles]
[Josh] Nice talking to you, too. [Jinky] Nice talking to you.
[Josh] Well, if you guys ever have that backpack...
-[Jinky] Yeah. -...just give me a call or text.
-It's 814... -[Jinky] 814...
[Josh] 814... [Jinky] 814...
[Josh] 94... 15... [Jinky] 94...
[Cam] Oh, my God. [Jinky] 814-9415.
[Josh] Yes. [Cam] You remembered it.
[Josh] You concentrated.
-She's fading. -[Cam] Yeah, she's amazing...
-[laughs] -The eyes.
I know.
-The face. -I know.
He was cute.
He was, like, amazing-looking,
like, interesting-looking.
Not just good-looking, but truly, truly...
Interesting-looking.
Like, beautifully interesting.
You should call him.
I can't call him. Are you crazy?
Why?
Just to hang out.
I can't call...
I can't call a random guy from the park
just to hang out.
You could have a whole different life.
[Jinky] When you smoke weed, you're opening your third eye
up into, like, the universe and the world,
and you can see everything.
You can feel everything around you the way it was meant to be,
the way it actually is.
Just a little more weed...
I'm pretty sure it would be a better world.
No one can argue with that.
You know, it's not so much that Austin asked me to do this.
It's like...
It's that he expected me to do it.
Like, I don't think there was ever a question in his mind
that I was gonna do it.
You know, the fucked-up thing is, like,
I don't think there was ever a question in my mind
that I was gonna do it.
That's kind of messed up.
[scoffs] What's wrong with me?
Wouldn't a normal person be like, "Wait a second.
I have things to do," you know?
"I'm supposed to meet people for lunch. I was supposed to go to yoga.
I was supposed to do writing today.
I have, like, a dissertation to do."
And I just called and canceled on everybody.
Is that messed up?
Oh, my God, you know that, like, cheesy saying where you're like,
"You treat people how to treat you?"
-You're kind of a doormat. -[Cam chuckles]
You know, for, like... Ever since Austin moved in with me,
so, like, three years...
I have been...
emptying out his razor, like, his electric razor,
'cause it gets disgusting, you know?
It's disgusting. It's, like, full of...
His...
Curly...
And then, like, last week,
I just decided not to.
I just was like, you know, I'm just... I'm done.
I don't want to empty out his razor.
He's a grown man. He should do it, right?
You're like the middleman for everything. You're like a middleman for the razor,
you're like the middleman for the dishes.
You're like the middleman for, like, the delivery.
When it was, like, stopping working, he opened it,
and all this hair came out.
And he was like,
"Yo, why is there so much hair in here?"
He was like, "Well, what the hell?
Why is it not working? There's so much hair.
What, did I start growing more of a beard?"
You're the middleman for the remote.
You're the middleman to make the bed.
He just thought it just magically went away?
Like, it never crossed his mind that he has to--
You're like the middleman to, like, make him seem like a...
Kinda like a normal, worthy human being...
Which is kinda fucked up.
'Cause he should be able to be his own man
without a middle.
He never even knew, and I didn't tell him.
I didn't say anything. I was like, "I don't know."
Plus, if you're the middle, then you're just, like,
the part that, like, doesn't really get noticed ever.
You're, like, invisible.
And then I showed him how to dump it,
which is really, you just dump it, and you kind of go like that.
And he's like...
"Well, if you see it overflow, can you just do it for me?"
And I said yes.
I said yes. [chuckles]
And the thing is, like,
the next day, I just started doing it again.
I think electric razors are disgusting.
I think I burned my thumb.
Fuck.
[Cam] Oh, my God. If Josh and I actually got married,
do you think our kids would be beautiful?
I bet you they'd be gorgeous, right?
-They'd be, like, Chino-Latino beauties. -[chuckles]
And geniuses probably. Probably geniuses.
What do you think their names would be? It would--
I think we'd probably have, like, two kids, maybe three.
[camera shutter clicks]
Oh, my God, I think I just cheated on Austin.
-I just cheated on Austin with my mind. -What? No.
Dreaming of cheating is cheating, right?
No, dreaming is definitely not cheating.
Thinking about someone is also not cheating.
[stammering] I'm a horrible person. I'm, basically, a horrible person.
I'm a cheater. I'm a cheating fiancée.
-I'm ruining our marriage. -Dude!
Seriously, I think you're wigging out right now.
I think you need to smoke a little bit more weed
and just chill the fuck out, okay?
Your brain is just like... [mimics grinding]
You just, like, make it stop.
-Just get it together. -[breathing heavily] I can't.
Seriously, get it together. All right? Just--
-Okay. Okay. -Pause.
No thinking, all right?
'Cause you're really, seriously freaking out right now.
I don't know what's going on. Maybe you need, like, uh...
You know what you need? You need, like... You need to be...
Like, I'm gonna be like your babysitter.
You need me to be, like, your minder, like they used to have in the '70s
when they were, like, doing experimental drugs and stuff
and they would have someone just, like, babysit them
and, like, mind them or whatever.
I'm gonna be that person for you, okay?
I'm gonna be your guide, all right? I'm gonna guide you through this day.
You're like my guide, right? You're my guide.
You're my guide. You're my minder.
-You're doing it. You're doing it. -[Cam breathing steadily]
You're doing it.
[breathing deeply] I'm gonna breathe deep.
And we're gonna smoke a joint.
I'm gonna smoke a joint. I'm gonna calm down.
-You're doing great. -[softly] I'm gonna calm down.
Dude, I'm, like, freaking out right now.
Oh, my God. My brain is, like...
I feel like everything I have done up until this point in my life
has just been a big mistake,
and I'm gonna keep making mistakes all the time,
and I don't know how to talk to anyone that I love,
and I don't know how to do all the things that I'm supposed to do
to keep it all moving forward and keep it all intact
and keep everything running smoothly on the way it's supposed to go, and...
Oh, my God. I think that...
Oh, fuck.
Fuck.
[buzzer sounds]
Can I get a bite of your sandwich?
-I'll give you a bite. I will. -Okay.
Hold on a second. Just hold on.
'Cause it kinda looks like you're gonna eat all of it.
I'm not gonna eat all of it. I'm definitely gonna give you a bite.
There's so much left. Hold on a second.
Is it delicious?
Yeah. It's so good.
-You just ate the whole sandwich. -Mmm-mmm.
No, I didn't.
You didn't share your sandwich with me. You just ate the whole thing.
Dude, you totally had a bite.
No, you just said that you'd give me a bite,
and then you didn't. I think you forgot.
You actually just ate the whole thing right in front of me.
No, I didn't.
-[quickly] I gave you a bite. -You ate the whole sandwich.
I just gave you a bite.
-I didn't get a bite of the sandwich. I-- -Yeah.
I'm always like, "Eat as much as you want.
Like, don't even worry about it."
It makes me happy when people eat my food, you know,
'cause it's like we're bonding over the same nourishment, you know?
It's like we're bonding over the same fuel,
like, the same energy, like, the same--
First and foremost, I think we need to share food.
Rule number one, like, my food is your food.
Your food is my food.
So, like, if you have a sandwich, you gotta give me a bite of your sandwich.
And, like, if I have a sandwich,
I'll give you a bite of my sandwich, too, you know?
So, like, if we share it, we're on the same level.
We have the same energy, you know, we have the same mission.
It'll help us focus and direct where we want to go.
Okay, you have to bury me, all right?
You have to make this promise. No matter what happens,
you bury me, or I bury you.
It's not like we're gonna die at the exact same time
on the exact same day.
One of us will definitely be alive and around when the other person dies,
unless we're in the same car when we get killed.
I promise. I promise I will be your burial partner.
I don't think I can count on Austin to bury me,
'cause at the end of my life,
I bet you if I was like, "You know what?
I want to be buried on a hill,
like, by my house in Cerritos,"
he's gonna fucking have me incinerated and burned
and let go on top of a mountain in Japan.
What do you think is in this weed? Do you think it's just pot,
or do you think it's laced with something?
We will definitely take care of each other bodies,
and then you just make sure you tell me--
Do you know what I'm talking about?
God, is it really hot in here?
[Jinky] Is something really bad about to happen,
or am I acting like a normal person, like, right now?
Do you think there's-- What?
From now, here, I'm starting to talk like a normal person.
Do I pass for a normal person right now? Look at me. Watch me.
Am I passing for a normal person right now?
Do you think... Like, this is me acting normal.
Do I seem like this is a normal person's speech?
[stammering] What do you mean?
All right. I'm not gonna panic. Don't panic.
Let's just... Let's think about this.
All right, so a bunch of the joints that we've smoked so far
have been my joints.
Totally fine. I know... I know what's in them,
and I've been feeling pretty good for most of the day,
-say, until-- -Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
You think there's something in the weed?
You think there's something in the weed from the backpack?
No fucking way.
You think... Speed? You think it's speed?
I think that something really bad might be happening
and we might be in danger.
We might be in, like, psychological danger for our mental lives.
[stammering] What if it's crack in the weed?
We're crackheads. We just did crack in the weeds.
We just did crack, crack, crack.
Something is really off in this.
I'm, like, numb in my fingers right now. I can't even move my face.
I feel, like, totally, completely numb in my fingers.
We smoked your weed.
-Like, are you sure that's just pot? -[stammering]
Are you sure?
Listen, you have to find out what that is,
'cause I don't think that this is normal.
For, like, the past two hours, I've been feeling really shitty,
but I haven't been able to, like, speak.
So I haven't been able to tell you. But I'm finally able to speak,
and I don't know if I'm gonna go silent again.
I don't know if I'm gonna lose my voice again
and not be able to tell you things.
So, right now, while I'm able to speak, I need to communicate this message to you.
I don't feel good. I think something bad is happening.
I think that you're gonna feel the way that I'm feeling,
and then we're not gonna be able to get out of this,
and we're gonna be in trouble, and we're gonna die.
We're gonna die.
I can't call Austin. I can't call Austin.
There's no... There's no way I can call Austin.
What'd he say?
Shh.
What did he say? What did he say? What did he say?
-He didn't even pick up yet. -Come on, tell me. Come on.
What did he say? What did he say? What did he say?
Hi, uh, honey. It's me.
[stammering] I was just... Actually had a...
I had a quick question... I had a quick question for you.
So, uh, the backpack that you gave me earlier,
the backpack that had the stuff and...
I just had a quick question about the stuff inside.
Uh, the stuff...
Um, I was just wondering if maybe for tonight,
you wanted to order in from Homes Thai,
and then maybe we could get, uh, the green curry with the tofu,
and then we can get some satay.
It might actually cheer me up
'cause I'm actually not having a great day.
[continues stammering] Not in a great mood.
So I'd really appreciated it if we could just make it a night in
and just order in and watch Being Elmo
or something with puppets.
I don't care, anything with puppets.
And, actually, if you're not in tonight, today, it's cool,
it's totally cool, I'll just do it myself.
And then tomorrow maybe I can get you.
Um, that's totally fine, too. But don't feel any pressure,
you don't have to call me back or anything.
It's... It's completely fine.
The fuck was that? You didn't even tell him to call back.
What the hell? That was a crazy message.
You didn't even tell him anything important at all.
There were, like, zero code words.
No, there were, like, 100 code words in that conversation.
There were zero words of, like, any fucking relevance
to our situation right now. Complete fluff.
It was like... [high-pitched] clouds and teddy bears
and My Little Ponies.
You've gotta call him back.
There was, like, at least 100 code words in the conversation.
You don't know the code words 'cause you don't know the code.
That's the whole point of the code, Jinky.
You're not supposed to know the code unless you're in with the code,
and you're not in with the code
because you don't know the code, all right?
-Cam. -No, I already did it once.
I did it once. I did it for you.
That was it. I left a message. I left a very, very clear message.
And that's it, okay?
Jinky, what the fuck did we smoke?
Some crazy shit. Some crazy shit.
-[whispering] This is some bad shit. -What the fuck is this?
This is some crazy shit. This is some crazy shit.
[laughs] You look fucking amazing right now.
You look amazing to me. You look fucking amazing to me.
Do I look amazing to you?
I feel fucking amazing.
I mean, I'm gonna be fucking amazing for you, Jinky.
I'm gonna be fucking amazing for you.
'Cause the thing is... You know the thing is,
I don't know what the right words are to, like, tell you this problem,
but it's like my mouth has, like, a brain of its own.
Do you know what I mean? It's just like going on its own.
And it's like I know what I'm saying...
[talks faster] But then, like, I don't know what I'm saying.
Is that what I meant, or is that what I, like, sub-meant?
'Cause these words are just, like, coming out of my mouth.
And, like, I don't know. Like, I might be the first person
to ever have this problem, you know.
So it's like I don't even know
if the doctors have caught up with it or whatever,
do you know what I mean? I can't--
Just reality at, like, the most fundamental level.
So it makes it really hard to function. 'Cause, like...
[overlapping chatter]
[chatter continues]
This joint is speaking to me, and it's telling me to just smoke.
It's telling me to smoke this joint 'cause it's a friendly joint.
I'm getting a really good feeling, I'm getting a really good, strong vibe.
It's one of those things that you can't classify.
-It's not a feeling. It's not a thought. -[softly] Don't smoke it.
-Don't smoke it. You're gonna-- -A vibe,
straight from the heart of this joint that's telling me to smoke it.
And if we smoke this joint, it's gonna show us.
It's gonna illuminate like a torch, like a beacon,
like the Statue of Liberty.
It's gonna illuminate the path before us.
This weed is fucking evil.
Okay? It's evil. Stop it. Stop it.
Get away from it, okay?
Like, it led us down this path, okay? It led us down this path.
If we hadn't touched it, we wouldn't fucking be here.
I think we should smoke this joint, and then I think it'll take us...
It'll take us through. It'll take us through.
We have to go through. We cannot go around.
-We have to go through-- -Jinky,
I don't want this to continue,
okay?
I'm going on a new path, okay? I'm going on a new path.
I'm gonna go on a new path, and then by myself, I'm, uh...
[stammering] I'mma go up the mountain, okay?
I'mma plan my plan.
And I'm gonna make a meeting with Oprah, okay?
'Cause she's gonna meet with me.
And then... And then we are gonna fucking conquer the world.
And she will be my mentor, okay?
And then I won't have a fucking crackhead like you mentoring me.
And, you know, when I'm wearing that gown, with the butt hanging out,
like, you're gonna be right next to me with the butt hanging out,
and we're gonna be two fucking, ass-out fucking crazy people in the loony bin.
Cam, listen to me, all right? No one is going to an insane asylum.
[Cam speaking rapidly] And they always say it's the crazy ex-girlfriend,
but is usually is not actually crazy.
It's actually something that the guy did, like, he cheated on her.
But, like, I'll actually technically be the fucking crazy ex-girlfriend.
It'll be your fault that I will be that crazy ex-girlfriend.
And whoever he ends up getting with after me,
like, she's gonna be like, "Look me up on Facebook."
And I'm gonna look at all the pictures.
And he's gonna untag me in every single photo
and then be like, "Oh, my God, I don't want to be seen
with my ex-girlfriend because she's fucking crazy."
And it was all because of you.
I will never fucking forget who put me in the fucking crazy house.
I will be like, "Jinky fucking put me here,
and she does not fucking belong in this ocean with me."
You basically made me the cuckoo.
Like, this was our nest, and you fucking pushed me over the nest.
You pushed me over the nest and, like, whoo, right over the nest.
[Jinky] People have always felt sorry for you.
And I'm actually your only friend. That's why you called me today.
I have faith that even though we don't hang out anymore,
I still fucking untag you in Facebook photos.
Ultimately you need me. You need me.
'Cause who else is gonna help you deliver
this fucking bag to fucking Rancho Cucamonga?
Who the hell is gonna help you fucking deliver this bag?
No one, that's who, and you know that.
And all that matters
is that you have somebody who fucking loves you,
who loves you and will help you through thick and thin.
And you know you have that in me.
And you fucking... You take advantage of it.
And you know what? I gotta draw the line, because I have other people.
I got a lot of people standing in line who need me.
I have the whole world standing in line, and they all need me.
And I can't be, like, convincing you for the hundredth time
that you fucking need me, all right?
I can't keep convincing you that you need me.
-It's ridiculous. -[Cam shudders]
All right, you think I don't have a job. You think I just work at the store.
Like, that's all a front, all right?
Actually, I work for the fucking United Nations.
Do you understand, like, the fucking gravitas
of what I'm trying to tell you right now?
Fine. I'm just gonna have to tell you
'cause you're not gonna fucking understand.
I am Jinky, the superhero. All right?
I am Jinky, the superhero. I have, like, this invisible power.
I'm, like, this beautiful, invisible force
that comes through in the middle of the night
and helps people with, like, the gaps, all right?
The gaps. I'm filling up the fucking gaps like grouts in bath tile, all right?
I am a superhero. I can fly through the night.
I can fly through all the bullshit.
I can fly through all the bullshit and get to the truth.
Do you understand what I am saying?
Do you understand the fucking full meaning
of what I am telling you right now?
I think I need to, like, just do my own thing for a while.
So I'm gonna go, like, take a walk, I think.
Okay. Yeah, you can go take a walk. Like, I think...
It's good. We should split our separate ways.
We should, you know, get a little air.
We should have some time to think and to breathe.
Well, the thing is, you might get lost
and so you might get scared, you might need me.
But I think you should just, like, kinda stay here and let me just go.
[scoffs] Don't flatter yourself. I actually don't really need you.
Like, I think I know where I'm going and how to get there.
Yeah, like, I definitely know where I'm going and how to get there.
Well, that's good. So then I won't have to, like,
Google Map that shit for you and tell you what time to get there.
Well, it's like you're gonna drop a pin for me anyway
'cause you always drop pins for everybody all the time.
Well, I'll drop a pin and send it to you when I get there,
'cause I'll probably get there before you.
You know, this is just the next phase of our relationship.
Good. It's settled.
Where are you going? Where are you going?
Why would you do that? Where are you going?
[Cam] Of course, of course, of course. Of course I would do this.
You drove your only friend away.
You invited in the worst fucking people in your life.
You said yes to the wrong people. You said no to the right people.
Fucking stupid.
Stupid.
[Jinky sniffles] You don't have friends.
You're never gonna have friends.
You're never gonna have friends that actually stay.
You're never gonna have friends that stay for a long time.
You're never gonna have friends that actually stay until you die.
You're never going to have a friend who's actually gonna bury you. [sniffles]
People just say they're gonna bury you,
but no one's actually gonna bury you.
No one's actually gonna be there when you die...
[sniffles] 'Cause you scare people and you tell them to fuck off.
And then when they fuck off, then you wonder where they went,
but it's, like, you told them to fuck off, Jinky.
You fucking told them to fuck off. [sniffles]
Stop telling-- Stop telling people to fuck off.
Stop telling people to fuck off,
and then they won't fuck off anymore, and then they'll stay.
[sniffles]
[Cam] I'm approaching the wrong way. And it's, like, classic me, right?
I feel like there's only one way and that's the way.
I see now that I was actually totally wrong.
I should have said yes to the weed.
Maybe I should learn a lesson from this, right?
I'm getting it now. I'm getting it now, Jinky.
Like, I should've just said yes to you.
This is new to me.
And I think I'm actually achieving some sort of...
Some sort of sanity here.
Like, maybe in the insanity, there is sanity,
and in the vagueness, there's clarity.
Like, it's fucking cloudy to me right now. I don't know what the fuck is happening.
But it is clearer to me than ever.
What kind of weed is this?
[whispering] What kind of weed is this?
[normal voice] What kind of weed is this?
Jinks, these streets are fucking paved with gold, son.
I mean, like, we could get on top of that shit.
We could hit that shit. This is some Daddy Warbucks shit, okay?
And, like, if you team up with me, like, we can hit that.
Fuck the lotto. Fuck the fucking lotto tickets.
We're gonna be so beyond rich,
no one's even gonna recognize us anymore.
They're gonna look at us and it'll just be a fucking glow.
We're gonna be fucking glowing like Golden Girls, you know?
But it's not like Blanche or Betty White, it's like you and me, like Jinky and Cam,
those fucking Golden Girls.
And everyone from high school's gonna be like,
"Yo, look, did you hear about Jinky and Cam?"
And then we'll be like, "Yeah, we heard about Jinky and Cam
'cause we fucking are Jinky and Cam."
We're gonna get all that gold.
We're gonna make it fucking big.
And then we're gonna put it into mansions,
like, fucking mansion's all over these hills.
We'll have a mansion on the West Side, we'll have a mansion on the East Side.
We'll have a chauffeur that can bring us back and forth
and a pool that's, like, in the shape of a car or, like, a dragon
or, like, you know, a papaya or whatever the hell you want.
And then Josh can come over and he can be, like, our cabana boy.
He can be, like, the hot pool boy.
And he's gonna be wearing some red fucking Speedos,
and his tattoos will be glistening in the sun,
and he'll have his bike and he can do tricks for us,
and we can watch that all fucking day,
like two fucking gangsta-ass bitches, sitting there with blunts in our hands
and, like, fucking gold grills in our teeth
'cause we're gonna look at that shit and be like,
-"Yo, I fucking own that shit." -Yeah, yeah,
like, I'm gonna have dinner parties all the time like I always wanted to,
and, like, I'm gonna be so rich.
I'm gonna be so rich that, like,
if I don't even want to hang out with my guests anymore,
there's gonna be, like, a clone of me
that's just gonna be able to, like, hang out with them.
Like, I go to my room, do whatever I want to do,
like, I don't even have to talk to anyone anymore.
I'm gonna have a clone of me in every room,
but it's gonna be, like,
me at every different age that I've ever been.
Like, you go into one room, and it's, like, my first birthday,
you go into another room, it's like my second birthday,
you go into another room, I'm, like, three years old,
you go into another room, I'm, like, four years old.
You get to see, like, all the Jinkys, like, all the stages of Jinky.
You get to see, like, Jinky being her best self
at, like, every age there is, you know?
Like, at three years old, at nine years old, at ten years old.
And you can go hang out with any Jinky you want to hang out with.
I could go hang out with any old Jinky that I wanna hang out with.
I could go back in time and be whoever the fuck I want, you know,
and I'll have so many of me
that we'll just dominate, we'll dominate the whole world.
We'll dominate the entire frickin' universe.
And everyone's just gonna do what we say.
Otherwise, they have to go live in a trash can.
And, like, I'll have one clone that'll just, like,
put people in trash cans, like, physically just put them in trash cans.
That's how rich I'm gonna be.
The future is so fucking bright, you gotta fucking wear shades.
-You get it? -[Cam] It's fucking beautiful.
It's gonna be fucking fabulous.
Did you guys order a pizza?
Yeah. Yeah.
It's, uh, pepperoni and, uh, sausage
and also some pineapple on the side.
It's half-and-half, so...
I've been looking for you ladies for a little bit already.
This guy ordered it.
We don't have any money.
Oh, um...
Well, it's only $14...
You don't have... You don't have any...
Oh.
Do you have $10? Maybe I--
We have weed.
Do you wanna smoke some weed?
Sure.
I hate pizza.
You know?
I don't know what the appeal is.
My friends, instead of calling me to hang out,
they call me to get a free slice of pizza.
My dreams are killed.
Just pizza.
Everywhere I go, pizza.
And I feel like I want to change.
I want to get away from pizza.
But something inside me is like...
"Have I gotten used to this?"
Now I'm used to this life.
There's just pizza here, pizza there.
My friends know me as "Pizza,"
not Ronald anymore, just Pizza, you know?
And...
[sighs]
What if I leave this life and...
[sighs]
I'm scared. I don't know. I'm scared. I can't...
I don't know.
I don't know what will happen.
Hey, babe.
I have to go.
I'm leaving.
Bye, Austin.
[sobs, chuckles]
[Cam] I feel like Austin started out like a dream.
I was imagining everything that my life could be,
and I feel like Austin was this...
This amorphous state of being, of sleeping,
where my brain was just, like, enjoying the rest.
But you know what? When you're dreaming and, like, your body isn't moving
and your eyes are closed and you're not awake.
And now I feel like I'm waking up.
I think it's better to be awake than to be sleeping
and living in this false hope that, like, something's gonna happen
and that something... Something amazing is happening,
when none of that is true.
I feel like I've awoken to this truth,
and it's sucks and I'm hungover,
but it's real.
[Jinky] 'Cause love is the highest,
'cause love is the biggest.
Love is the biggest thing in the world.
There's no boundaries.
So I don't have to be scared, 'cause there's no boundaries.
That's the thing, is there's no boundaries,
so I don't have to fear...
'Cause boundaries aren't real.
They're just creations. They're just creations.
They're not even real. You can just break them down at any point.
You can just break them.
There's never any boundaries.
Yeah. I can see it. There was never any boundaries.
This is the way it was meant to be. This is how it actually is.
This is reality.
This is how it actually is.
[lighter clicking]
[wind chimes clinking]