Look, look, babe.
Hey, we had a good time, right?
So I assume that you're a big girl,
and that you're takin' something.
So just get an abortion, what's the big deal?
Honey honey, honey, honey, you're groveling.
That's very unattractive.
Look, just dump the kid and we can kick it again, all right?
I'll even pay for it.
Send me the bill and my check will be in the mail.
Honey, I gotta run, gotta go.
Ciao, baby.
Hi, can you talk?
Is he there or did he leave already?
Good.
So we got the whole weekend again.
Perfecto.
So um, listen, honey, I've got this new fantasy
about dressin' up in your husband's clothes
and playin' captain kirk and goin'
where no man has ever gone before, how's that grab you?
Yeah.
Yeah, get the handcuffs.
I love it, I'll see you later.
Ow.
Hey, bartender, when you get through with her,
can I borrow it?
No, my brother, you got to get your own.
You should use a cigarette lighter.
The flame lasts longer.
I'll have to remember that.
Can I buy you a drink?
Well, now that's something I'd definitely considered.
Except that it's sort of against the house rules.
Well then why don't you let me make you a drink
at my house under my rules?
J huh
j uh
j huh
j uh
j huh
j huh, sex and the single man, what makes the bump shake
j nerves to want to flirt, the Duke of seduction
j flip her, decide her, so weakened to guide her
j thrill fills that is what a man desires, baby
j two ropes, nobody come and steps in the ring
j broken figures are irrelevant, the facts remain
j she's intimidating, true to the heart, manipulating
j you fucked a star, designer erotic guarantee
j be havin' you, chompin' for it and sex the fab in you
j heat deal and what keeps you feelin'
j it's at a certain level for you, remember
j so sex the single, ah, the single man
j breakin' your back with it any way you can
j she's everything and more that you can imagine
j she's affiliated with a beauty pageant
j you don't know, but do you understand
j sex and the single man, huh
j hang tough, hang tough, hang tough
j uh, hang tough, hang tough, huh, hang tough, hang tough
j huh hang tough, hang tough
j huh, hang tough
come on in, the door's open.
Do you always leave your door open like that?
Or was it because you just couldn't wait to see me?
That's it, just couldn't wait to see you.
That's so nice to hear.
But then again, it always is.
Oh, I see.
You hear that often, do you?
This is quite a place you have here.
I did it all myself.
So, how do you like the bed?
You know, I think you can tell a lot about a woman
by the kind of bed she sleeps in.
Now, this freaky bed says to me
that you are one hot-natured freakazoid
that can't wait to jump my bones,
because you know I've got to key to your place.
Hot as she is, why would she wanna cover the mirror?
J I'm here for you baby
j tryin' to feel this muse
J the way it's coming back up your existence
j when it comes to love we'll make it
j you lost your appetite
j and now you're hungry
j for me now
J sugar, ooh
j make it pretty, make it sweet
j it's a feel-good
j you don't understand, ooh
j you're hungry
j ooh, you know I want you so bad
j you're the best I ever had
j you're hungry
j for me again, ooh
j you like it baby
j you're nothing like you, you're hungry
No, no!
Blessed is the man that endureth temptation,
that hath no temptation taken you,
but such as is common to man.
But god is faithful,
who will not suffer you
to be tempted upon that you are able.
Let me say that again.
Blessed is the man that endureth temptation.
I want you to spend some time with grandma.
Is something wrong, daddy?
There's a person; My god, it's a woman.
You're going to hit her!
Stop it. - Oh my god,
you're gonna hit! - Stop it!
You all right?
Yeah, I just had this really weird dream.
I know, so did I.
When your mom and dad died in that horrid car accident,
I took you in and raised you up, just like I did your daddy.
All three of us knew you were special,
'cause you just looked like
you had been blessed straight from birth.
The older you got, the clearer your future became to me.
You've worked hard, baby.
And now, after this summer,
you will complete your evangelistic training
and go on to become
the world-renowned minister
we both foresee you doing.
But you know, the forces of hell
are just a little too real for that.
What I'm sayin' is,
when you are just one step
away from reachin' your goal,
that actually is a crossroad.
And it's up to you
to look both ways.
J what makes you feel that way about me
j don't gimme no, shut up, bam
j my name... - My name is dougy
I'm a martial artist, but.
I'm gonna have to get to the airport.
I have a flight for the um event.
Event, yeah, I'm going to work on this new film project
with Bruce Lee.
Oh, with Bruce Lee.
Between me and you, Bruce is not dead.
Okay? - All right.
As you can see, that's why
I'm workin' on this film project, see?
'Cause we got together this last time.
Remember that film, the last one he did?
The guy who got kicked in the head at the end?
That was Lee!
That's him? - Probably, I think.
Hi.
Can I buy you a drink?
Well, that's usually how it starts.
Hey, bartender, do you sell, um,
champagne by the glass?
Course, unless you like champagne,
in which case we can get ourself a bottle.
I love champagne.
As a matter of fact, do you serve cristal here?
Do you serve Perrier jouet?
Well, would you happen to have
a 1972 bottle of dom perigon?
Yo, yo, let's.
I just get so excited about orderin' champagne.
Besides, I love it so much.
J used to do it too
j tryin' to get you through
what's your name?
Huh? - Your name.
My name? - Uh huh.
Uh, John.
John.
Mm-hmm. - That's funny
because you look like the kind of guy
who would have a name like Norman maybe.
Why don't we take the champagne back to my place?
Or am I being too forward?
No, not at all, that's the way I like it.
Yeah; Hey, bartender.
Um,
yeah.
Here, keep the change.
No, give me my change.
Look, uh, Norman, why don't you make up your mind?
Keep the change, have a good night; Thank you.
J whoo
j think about it
last night, while he was tryin' to pick me up,
he told me he was a surgeon.
A surgeon? - Well I, 1, I am a surgeon.
You know, but I just like, well like,
I'm like a kung fu surgeon.
You know, like, I... - Oh.
1, you know, I operate on people who like, you know,
get hurt doin' kung and fu and all that.
You know, but haven't I met you somewhere before?
No, I don't think so.
I remember where it was.
Oh, yes.
This is too good to be true.
Oh!
You're right, it is.
Oh, yes.
Don't move.
What's, what's goin' on?
Yes.
Yo, this is k, I ain't in right now.
If this a girl, beep me, and if it's a fellow,
leave a message. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, yo, this is k.
I'm back in time, speak on it quick for more of your time.
K. - Who dat?
Joel. - Joel?
Joel, what's happenin', man?
God, I ain't talked to you in a while.
Why don't you call me back, man?
How you doin"? - Joel, little brother,
what's going on with you, young man?
Why you never called me back?
What do you mean, why haven't I been calling your back?
Why don't you call me back?
Somehow I didn't get your message.
Oh, well, probably not gettin' it.
Grandma labeled me public enemy number one
since I committed a crime somehow by movin' up to New York.
But grandma is grandma, and I love her anyway.
How's she doing, man?
She's all right.
Um.
Oh, yo, man, is grandma diggin' all in your ass and shi-,
I mean, givin' you a hard time, partner?
Yeah, but it's deeper than that.
Listen, k, I'm really feelin' like I need to take a break
from things, so that I can uh just clearly look at things.
Joel, say no more.
My place is your place, brother, when you comin'?
Seriously? - You're damn skippy.
I really, really, really, really appreciate this.
Thanks, k. - Hey, hey, hey,
we'll have none of the mushy stuff.
We're macho men, remember that.
I'm in New York now, I don't play that.
You got to see the previews for my new flick, man.
It's hell, they got me bustin' down knuckleheads
left and right, all on the corner, I'm taking 'em out.
No! - Yep, yep, yep.
Now you know I got to go back and talk about old times
when we used to call each other homey.
I can't believe I said shit, stuff like that.
Oh, I got something for you.
Remember, back in the day... - No, no, no.
I remember...
Bitch, what the hell's wrong with you?
I mean, how am I supposed to explain this to my...
Wife?
Norman.
Yeah, I know who you are.
Those marks are nothing
compared to what you're gonna get later.
Honey I've given you somethin' there's no cure for.
It's gonna grow and grow
until it consumes you.
You don't look like you got anything.
Is that what you're gonna tell your wife
when she wants to fuck?
I never did this before, I mean, this is my first time.
I mean, I just thought I could just walk away.
I mean, just walk away.
I mean, men are supposed to like that.
Get outta here.
I'm tired of looking at you.
I don't wanna lose my family.
Honey, I think you got
some breakfast waitin' for you.
Oh, my god.
No.
Oh, my god, not me lord, no, not me!
No, no, not me, I didn't do it!
No, no, no, no!
Grandma, I'm going to leave you here for this trip.
When you are just one step away
from reachin' your goal in life,
that actually is a crossroad.
And it's up to you to look both ways.
J girl
j you are from another place of old
j take a little mocking me and mine
it was very exciting to travel in Europe.
Excuse me, bartender, can I have a vodka tonic, please?
Can I get you something?
Tell me somethin'.
Look, all the men in this bar, am I really that obvious?
Well, excuse me, honey.
I go to more sophisticated gay bars than this
and you look somewhat familiar to me.
Really, no offense.
I'm just here for some conversation.
I'm really not looking for anything tonight.
And if you still wanna buy me that drink,
I'll take Remy Martin, please.
Five-dollar drink from a two-dollar man, you bitch.
You have lips like wine.
And I wants to get drunk tonight!
Hey, what?
God.
Playin' hard to get, huh?
Hey, man, she was hittin' on me, man.
Home girl got mad 'cause I wouldn't
give up that phone number action.
Man, she too skinny anyway, man.
I like them big girls, man.
That girl got a welfare butt, man.
You know what?
From this spot here,
them honeys, they be be all over me, man.
I'm tellin' you, man, they be hittin' on me
like a hurricane in here, man.
Ask that other bartender, he'll tell you.
You know him? - No.
Hey, he's a nice brother, man, I like him a lot, man.
We were starting to hit it off.
Then my man stopped comin' around, man.
I ain't heard nothin' from him.
Really?
Yeah, you know what the messed up part is?
He never got a chance to tell me
about his date with home girl over there.
See what I'm talking about with them long, gold fingernails?
Of course I see her.
She's the baddest babe in here.
So did you hit on her too or what?
Hey, no bet, man.
Somethin' about her, man, I don't know what it is.
But she just weird, you know what I mean?
I mean, she got them spooky eyes, man.
I can't put my finger on it, man.
But home girl, she just ain't the move.
You know what I mean?
No, I don't know what you mean.
But then it really doesn't matter, 'cause
I'm probably the last happily married man in the world.
Bartender.
Uh oh, speak of the devil.
Grandma, I'm turning 21 soon.
I really feel like I need to take a little break
to be sure that this is what I want for me.
I'm really feelin' like nothin' seems normal
about my life to me, everything seems out of place.
J 1 guess I'll carry on
j it's a separate situation
no, no, seriously, I'm a race car driver.
At the track...
& we were lost
j in my frustration
j we're too hurt to even cry
j I wanna be all over you
j like you wanna be
j all over - you sure you wanna
stand here, darling?
Well, if you don't mind.
J I wanna be all over... - May I?
J I know you're seeing someone
j that don't bother me now
I don't mind at all.
So”?
So.
Hey, bartender, beer, please.
J you might think it's just starting, ah
j we were meant to be together
j we let things go a little too far
j I wanna be all over you
it's your choice.
J I wanna be all over you
j all over you
where we're going, it's much better.
At least with me,
it's much better.
J all over you
j I wanna be
Let me do that tab thing, I'll be back.
I'll be back, okay?
J I wanna be all over you
j you wanna be all over me
j this little diamond, waiting to
j sinks into the, oh, oh
j yeah, yeah, all over you
please, tell me that this chair is empty
because you're alone.
Can I, do you mind if I sit down?
That might be nice. - Oh,
it's gonna be more than nice, I'll see to that.
You look familiar to me.
Oh, you might have seen me in a couple of flicks.
I'm an actor; Maybe shakedown on areda Avenue,
born in bedstock, two tough cookies.
Okay,
wow, I know you.
See, that puts me at a disadvantage.
Why is that?
Well, I don't know who you are.
Can I ask you something?
Please, ask me anything.
Could I have an autograph?
Oh, yeah. - It's not for me,
it's for my little brother.
Your little brother, yeah, what's his name?
J.
J, like jimbroswky?
No, James.
All right, to James, my man.
Cool out.
Thanks.
No problem.
So, you new in town?
K?
K! - Huh?
Hi, um, sorry.
Um listen, you got my digits and I got yours.
Let's keep this thing goin', okay?
Well, the night's still young.
Mm, yes, it is.
Itis, it is, it is.
But, unfortunately,
my partner Joel is coming to town
and I have to meet him and get him set up and tuck him in
and all of that big-brother stuff, I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Listen, we gotta do this again real soon.
Yeah.
Promise? - I promise.
Okay, let me go pay for the check.
Okay.
Oh shit, I forgot to ask you your,
name, what the, nah, she didn't walk...
Yeah.
Hey. - Oh!
Boy, I almost I almost fucked you, I almost messed you up.
Don't you know not to sneak up on a brother from New York
wearin' that gl Joe shit, what's the matter with you?
What?
What? - What?
Evening, sir, the fresh funky?
You comin' dressed like gomer pyle and shit, come on.
- Man, you hurt my feelings. - Come on.
That's an attitude. - Now, just,
they would have knew you was waitin' for me,
standin' out in front of my door.
It would have been a scandal.
Well, this is home.
Listen, I um I just wanted to say that I don't,
you're not on trial here, and I'm not here to judge you.
I'm not, all I want, I'm just here, I just want to hang.
All right, we'll hang.
Look at you. - It look good, right?
Look at you. - Sharp as a tack.
You don't look like somebody
I went to the school of ministry with.
Ooh, the school of ministry.
Joel, that seems like ages ago.
Man, I love what you're doing and that's for you to do.
But uh, the move for me was to get out of there early
and come do this acting gig,
because it's the only thing I know how to do.
I know what this is over here.
What? - I know what this is.
Oh, yeah. - This must be...
Yes.
Is this Bertha? - That's my girl.
That is my girl.
We have been through three sequels together.
And uh it's my favorite film souvenir.
I don't get to use it much except
when I go out to the range, but love it.
I can't get into, uh, be careful.
Why?
I keep the knives sharpened and I keep the guns loaded
because movies is one thing, but um,
but life is a whole lot tougher, sometimes.
So you really think that comin' to New York
was the right thing to do, huh?
We'll have none of the mushy stuff.
I told you, I got guns and shit, knives
and bachelor clocks and radios.
This is manly shit, we're gonna do one hug,
and then quit it, all right?
Let me close the curtains so nobody...
Hey.
How you like New York so far?
New York is stupid, wild?
Is that, no, now you said it like that earlier now.
Come on.
Why you going to do this to me?
You got them ugly brown shoes on.
Now you're trying to get down with that, you just,
you preach, I'll teach, all right?
Okay, anyway, New York is um,
New York is wild.
There are these like massive amounts of people, all right?
It's not like there's this
a little over here, a little over there, they're everywhere.
And everybody is like a character.
Yeah, yeah, but let me tell you something, man.
There is a lesson in what we saw today.
And yes, the teacher will hip you to it.
Okay, okay.
What you saw today, young brother, were victims,
of economics, and violent reaganomics.
All right now, to say that, to say that
the small town we come from
and the people there, they are reality.
But no more so than the knuckleheads and the people
that you bumped into walkin' down the streets of New York.
You can't be sheltered from the truths of our life
and then go out and do your ministry.
Right? - Right.
You got to climb up and see over
both sides of that fence, you dig what I'm sayin'?
Yeah, but what you're saying then is that essentially,
it's essentially, it's unfair to relate
from a glass-house perspective is what you're saying.
Well, if you wanna condense my speech, man.
Well I, you're just a tad bit long-winded.
Hey, boy, this is my house.
I'll talk as long and as loud as I want.
I pay the rent here.
Don't you come from north Carolina
tellin' me how long to talk.
Just get the point.
No, Joel, seriously, the streets are real.
They're too real.
Oh, man, I almost forgot.
I met a woman.
What'd you say, you met a wo-mon?
Yeah, buddy.
I'm startin' to hear a little of that country come out.
Oh, why yes, yes 'um, I met a woman.
I got to tell you about her.
Michael Jackson said he was bad.
He didn't know what bad meant.
This honey I met the other night was bad.
Bad? - Bad.
Who's bad? - Super bad.
You know what I'm sayin'?
All right, all right.
Hey? - Hey?
All right. - Okay.
Well. - Okay.
Okay. - All right now.
First off, right of the bat, she ain't no joke.
She's sweet.
No one comes here without an appointment
or unless I bring them here myself!
And there's more.
She's really polite.
Is there a problem?
No.
And she, she like looks sexy.
She is sexy.
But she comes across innocent.
Darling, oh.
Ow!
Jeez!
Did I do something wrong?
Yes!
Do not kiss me.
Don't get me wrong.
I ain't bitten or smitten, none of that, cool.
But oh, this is someone I really think
I could um, get to like a lot.
Girlfriend, where did that come from?
Oh, that feels...
That feels good!
Oh, that hurts!
Stop, no.
Take it out! - My guess is uh,
she's a pussycat. - No!
We should swing by the club where I met her,
because uh she'd probably be there.
And I want to see her again.
And you'd like it 'cause the bar is New York down
and it'd trip your little country ass.
Oh, but you know that I don't drink.
Well, yeah, we can get you some milk.
Can we take the milk and put it in like a beer mug,
and then could we say, bartender,
can you like slide the thing all the way down?
What, you want him to sling it down there?
Yeah, yeah. - Like the westerns?
No, well, like adults do in a bar.
You's a country boy, man.
Go back there. - What do you want me to wear?
Why don't... - No!
No, no, you're not gonna put that on.
Don't ever touch none of that garbage again.
Go back there and just
feel the shit, you know what I'm sayin'?
Go back; Oh no, oh no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I can... - No, Joel, snappy.
No.
Oh, I um... yeah?
I um... - Yeah?
Yeah? - I don't know
what to tell you.
See, I try and do the hat like you.
Um... see, I tried to do
the hat like you. - No, you better
get back in there, bra.
Now, this has gotta be better, this has gonna be better.
That's not too bad.
Yeah? - If you
change the pants though.
Go ahead, kid.
Look at you.
Lemme get a pair, can I get a pair?
Damn!
Lookin' kind of sharp.
Look at the Jordans.
Jordan. - Like father like son.
Go ahead, look at my son.
Easy now.
Hey, uh excuse me.
I don't mean to stare at you or nothin',
but, now I know you're tryin' to be low-key and everything,
but I know that you know that I know who you are, right?
I saw you in that magazine.
S yes, I was featured in... - Penthouse, right, right?
I got that at home!
I got it on my wall right next to the bed!
Really?
Well, you're mistaken,
because I was featured in vogue, darling.
Yeah right.
Look, darlin', I don't never forget no,
well anyway, that was you I saw.
I said it wasn't me.
What are you, hard up or something?
Hey, hard up, fuck that.
Hey, why don't you just fess up?
Hard up, I ain't no stranger to wet panties, hey.
And I'm also on a first-name basis with pussy,
you know what I'm sayin'?
Yeah, I bet you date fistina and palmette
pretty steady, don't you?
J with all you might
so.
Who are you?
Hey girl, long time no see.
I know.
What do you say, let's get outta here
and go rockin' for old times sake, all right?
I would love that, sweetie.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was you too.
So go on with that old,
don't you want to dance tonight, suit-wearin'...
The car, did you change the combo of the car?
I was changin'
you look kind of happy there, dude.
Watch yourself, no, all right, I um, I um,
actually I um... - Actually?
I uh, I met someone.
Get out of, you met someone?
I been here two minutes.
Two minutes I was gone and met someone without my help?
You met someone?
But there's, it gets even better.
Okay.
She's pretty. - She's pretty?
She's probably blind, but that's cool.
No, I... - You got on my suit,
you're looking prime.
Hey.
This is... - Alady in red?
Alady in red, yeah.
Red, well, Joel, this is cute.
I'm sorry, I don't believe we've met before.
In fact, I'm sure of it, but so nice to meet you.
Joel, I asked the bartender to make
that drink I told you about?
He's got it all ready for you.
Oh, right now? - Uh uh.
Oh, okay, well, let's go.
That's cute, y'all go and have a good time.
All right, come on now, Joel, come on back.
Hey!
Stop playin', bring my girl back over here, man.
Joel.
Hey, wait, hey, wait, hey, yo.
Yo bro, I ain't tryin' to cock block or nothin' man,
but we are lookin' in the same direction.
And if you checkin' out home girl over there
in that red dress with the young boy, let me tell you,
man, she's bad news.
Thank you very much, brother, but I'm already hip.
That girl's on a mission.
I ain't not punk or nothin', man.
I'm 100% man, but, hey,
that bitch scares the shit out of me.
She scares you?
I know why too, I think know the deal on her.
So um what happened with you and the lady in red?
Looked like y'all was having a good time.
We talked, had a drink.
You had a drink?
You sure did, I saw you; It's funny, you know, Joel,
it didn't look like milk in your glass.
There wasn't milk in the glass.
But there wasn't alcohol in the glass either, okay?
Let me ask you a question, Mr. Non alcohol.
We're both men, and we both know attractive women
when we see them.
Let's say you and a certain attractive woman
decided you uh really dug each other.
And she got you worked up.
Would you jump in them drawers?
No, I would not.
Why? - You know that I wouldn't.
It's against everything that I believe in,
everything I've been taught,
everything that I, no, I wouldn't.
Fornication is a sin.
Il don't even know why you're askin' me this.
All right, cool.
Look, Joel, you said yourself that New York is wild, right?
Right.
Right?
Yeah, right. - Okay, I'm just tryin'
to protect you from all this craziness.
Well, you know what? - What?
I'll tell you what, I can take of myself.
Bullshit, you can't even dress your fuckin' self.
I can take care of myself.
All right? - All right, bad ass.
Fine, so it's no secret.
We all know Joel as been sheltered; But you know what?
I can take care of myself.
I don't understand what the big deal is.
I can handle myself, I don't understand.
I don't wanna fight.
You can't fight.
What do you mean I can't fight, punk?
Give me five. - Give you five.
You can't fight though.
And don't call me no punk.
What do you want me to call you?
My baby.
God, please take care of my baby.
Joel is the last one of his line.
Soon it's all going to be over.
All of it.
Hi, Joel.
Hi.
I met you that one time at the club with Joel, right?
Um I wanna just want to grab something real quick.
And I'll be right back.
Okay? - Okay.
Hurry up though, we wanna take advantage
of this gorgeous day out, okay?
No, dear, I believe it was twice we met at the club.
Really?
Yeah, really.
What was you name again?
Oh, you got motherfuckin' amnesia now, huh?
Look, bitch, you know god damn well what my fuckin' name is.
Let me ask you a question; What kind of dope
are you smoking, baby?
What kind of, what kind of game are you...
Is something wrong, k?
1 uh...
I'm ready.
Okay.
Bye, k.
We'll be seeing you again real soon, I'm sure.
Joel.
Now, wait a minute, wait, wait, wait,
I know what I just saw.
Oh, girl, you got a nuclear butt, you know that?
You got one of them explosive booties.
Boy, you bring to mind the old cameo phrase, ow.
You know I work with cameo now.
Yeah, I'm their lead singer.
Word, word up.
Dougy, you gotta believe me.
Hey, man, what's wrong with you?
You look like you had to sit through a Cher video twice.
Bartender, get this kid a beer, quick.
No! - It's an emergency.
Dougy, I don't need a beer, a beer's not gonna help me.
Beer's not gonna help us now.
Us? - Us.
It's about that chick we was talkin' about, man.
That weird face? - Yes.
It's like I told you, we practically boned
up on top of the bar the night I met her.
Right. - And she comes
over to my crib, lookin' for Joel.
You mean that young kid she was with?
For Joel.
Now that's my homie boy; Come, come, now.
I figure she gotta be frontin'.
So I wait till Joel leaves the room, and I call her on it.
I say, yo, baby, what kind of dope you smokin"?
What kind of games you playin'?
I look at her, I look back, I look at her.
I look in the mirror, I look at her, I look in the mirror.
I swear to you,
she was not casting a reflection in the mirror.
Now, dougy, I'm not crazy.
Dougy, I know what I saw, dougy,
this ain't no fuckin' joke.
Don't laugh, man. - Come on, man.
What are you on, the pipe or what?
Oh, yeah, now I'm on the pipe now.
Hey, man, you've been working too hard, you're tired, man.
You know, you get tired, you're exhausted.
You see things that ain't there.
Dougy, I thought I could talk to you,
but I can't, so fuck you, stay your fat ass at this bar
and get dissed by every babe that comes in here.
I'm out of here, peace.
Hey, hey, hey, I'm not fat, pal.
And I don't think you're crazy either.
You know what I'm talkin' about?
We're a branch of the federal government
that specializes in murder under strange circumstances.
I don't believe this, I do not believe it.
The supernatural could be responsible
for a significant percentage of unsolved murders.
Oh, you're tellin' me now that along with criminals,
we got ets and zombies killin' people, man?
About a year ago, I was assigned to investigate the case
of a man who admitted himself to a psychiatric hospital,
claiming he had slept with the devil.
He said he could feel snakes crawlin' around in his stomach.
As he was about to tell me who she was,
the snakes began to crawl out of his mouth.
Oh, you bullshittin'.
Of course, the hospital swept the incident under the rug.
And I was assigned to do the follow-up.
I followed the patient's lead and ended up at the bar.
I've been watching her ever since.
She leaves with men.
And you never see them again.
Okay, so you've been trackin' her.
And I ain't lost my mind, I still got it together.
There's no way out of this thing, k.
I'm gonna need some help.
What you sayin'?
The truth is I've been at this job for years.
And this is the first legitimate lead I've had.
I want her, and I want to close the rule book to get her.
Besides, if I wait on my superiors to deliberate
on the thing it'll be too late.
And, what you sayin'?
You said she didn't cast a reflection in the mirror.
That's right, I saw... - I believe you,
but nobody else would; It's your call.
I take it then that you like to travel?
Well, we could just say that
I like to meet people, yourself included.
I hope to travel around the world one day.
I think my job will call for it.
Well, I would imagine so.
Being a world-renowned minister takes a lot, I'm sure.
It definitely, definitely, does, 'cause see...
It's funny, I'm am sitting here thinkin',
I don't remember ever mentioning to you
that I wanted to become a minister.
How did you know that?
You just seem to have that aura about you.
Plus, your mannerisms tend to give it away.
I know, because, well, let's just say
that I've met a few ministers in my travels.
Really? - Uh huh.
Why don't you tell me more about your ministry, Joel?
Yeah, I, I've been studying for a long, long time.
Um, I'm sort of kind of
taking a break right now.
Well, tell me, Joel, how does one just simply
take a break from god?
I felt that by traveling I could
best see, I'd have an opportunity to best see
how I could serve humanity.
Is that right?
Yeah.
No, no, it was shake down areda Avenue.
Oh, that was good. - You liked that one?
Anyway, we went to areda...
Oh!
I come to share with you divine wisdom.
Together let us delight in the lost word rediscovered
through the resurrection of the mysteries.
What have you come for?
Great madame Sonya, we come about a woman.
Now this woman or whatever it is,
we have reason to believe has been dead before.
Come.
This thing is the very nature of negativeness in mankind.
It exists in every inclination toward hatred
and in every tiny desire that would threaten
conscience of man, that part of man that seeks god and good.
I'd probably be considered a sinner.
But I so much want to do what's right, Joel.
Who knows, maybe you'll be the one
to counsel and help me one day.
This spirit, which can only be referred to as it,
uses sexuality to hold morality hostage.
Its reason for being is to seduce the subconscious,
the conscious, yea, the very soul, so that it might remain
in a fallen, lustful state of existence.
I knew, from the first moment I saw you,
I had the feeling that I could come to you.
I don't know, it might sound corny.
But I have the feeling that
our destinies are entangled somehow.
Do you know what I mean, Joel?
Um, um...
It incarnates in the flesh periodically
to prey on the weak-minded by imitating the very spirit
of its victim, its adversary,
for the purpose of seducing and destroying that soul.
In the game of sensual manipulation, it is unrivaled.
She could only achieve a real victory
through the destruction of a truly innocent person,
someone like your Joel, who is the very last
of his ancestral line left alive to teach what is right.
So then it lured Joel to New York.
It's an ancient demon,
and its name is temptation.
There's only one way that it can be completely destroyed.
And that is for man's total being and spirit
to remain focused upon and to be completely submissive
to the utmost reality, which of course, is god.
Because in that highest of truths it has no foundation,
no substance of power.
Now, wait a minute, wait a minute, I read in a book
somewhere or seen in TV or in a movie,
there's gotta be some kind of way to at least
lay the soul to rest or something like that.
Are you okay?
I'm, I'm, I'm okay.
Would your excuse me for a moment?
Okay.
Couldn't we lay the soul to rest if we decomposed the body
with holy water, then cut out the heart
while it's still beating and bury it
beneath hallowed ground?
That's, that's some freaky shit!
We ain't gotta do all of that, man.
Do we have to do all that?
You think that I do not know that you are there?
You fools.
Fuck the dumb shit, dougy, let's roll.
You fools!
You dare to make war against the beast
and expect to live?
Ah, shit, dougy, I'm outta here.
Listen, listen, are you okay?
Is everything all right?
Yeah, I'm fine, it's just a headache.
But I do have to go home and lie down.
Okay, okay, okay.
Well, um, is there anything at all that I can do?
Do you need aspirin?
Do you need, are you okay?
Is everything, can I do anything?
No, but thank you for asking.
Look at you, you are so sweet.
You must not fool me.
Are you thirsty?
Ah, one bloody Mary!
Comin' right up.
Hey, Joel, hey Joel, my wife shot me.
She did not.
Come on, Joel, don't be.
You can have mine!
Come to the fold.
Come to the fold, Joel.
Be good, Joel.
They're supposed to conquer.
Oh, god.
Take care of my boy.
We got to talk, is that woman in the house?
No, she's not here. - Joel, Joel, listen to me.
Listen to me.
That woman, and I don't know why you can't see this,
man, is crazy, she is a murderer, no bullshit.
Remember, I told you that I met a babe
and I was really excited about her?
I said she was hot and sweet and innocent and sexy
and all that bullshit? - Yeah, yeah, right.
Same bitch.
She came onto you in the bar that night
and suit you up the same way she came onto me.
And then she got the balls to walk in my fuckin' house
and act like she don't know me.
I'm tellin' you, something ain't right.
Something ain't right. - Why wouldn't you just
say that when she was standin' right there
in front of both of us?
1 didn't say anything about it then
because I didn't want you to think
that I was a little bit jealous,
even if I was just a little bit jealous.
A little jealous?
Joel, don't start.
I can't believe this.
Joel, open your fuckin' eyes, man, open your eyes!
I know for a fact man, this babe is something ain't right.
No.
Maybe it's something wrong with you.
What is this that I'm smelling?
You've been drinking.
You're running in here telling me, you've been drinking.
You're gonna... - You're fuckin' right
I've been drinkin'!
Joel, brother, you don't know.
I've bumped into some strange shit since you came around.
I've been drinkin', but it ain't at all about a drink now.
So what's it about? - What's it all about?
It's, I feel responsible for you, okay?
And I'm takin' responsibility.
If you're gonna act so fuckin' naive,
pack your shit, and get the fuck outta my house.
Go back to your small town
so you can SWAT flies and milk cows and shit.
'Cause you ain't ready.
Let me tell you something, this thing is after you.
And I'm scared that if she hasn't gotten you already,
she will, you dig what I'm sayin'?
Lemme tell you somethin'.
No, no, no, no don't talk to me like I'm a child, okay,
because I'm not one, I can take care of myself.
All right, I mean, I, what is this whole point
of my comin' to New York?
Joel... - What was it,
Joel can make his own decisions, right?
So that I can take all of this, everything,
and just sort of put it all in perspective.
We're talkin' about a woman, all right?
That's all we're talkin' about.
All she is, she's just a small piece
of this whole New York trip,
which is just like a big puzzle to me, and that's all.
I understand, I do.
You got it, stay here, figure out the puzzle.
My friend dougy, who believes me, is waitin' in the car.
We're gonna go get busy.
I love you, brother.
But right now, you're just a walkin' target; Go home.
I'm not playin'.
Go home.
Go home, Joel.
Shut up.
Shut up, fool, fuckin' shut up.
Relax, k.
Listen, you know that woman I told you
I had bad vibes about?
Yeah, she's the only one in the bar now.
Listen, I don't have time to explain the whole thing,
so please trust me, I want you to put this in her drink.
Now that's holy water that's just been blessed.
Put it in the drink and get out of there, okay?
Thank youl!
Yo, relax, k, this ain't three tough cookies.
The house is buying.
Why, thank you.
Look, man, when she drinks that holy water,
she's gonna start slobberin" and fartin'
and gaggin' and shit.
You put the shovel in my trunk, right?
Yeah.
Are you ready?
I'm as ready as I'll ever be, man.
Let's knock this shit out and get it over with.
Stay back!
Hold it, hold it down before it's too late, man!
Come on, dougy!
Now your soul can rest in peace!
Do it.
What the fuck is wrong with you, man?
Come on, dougy.
One, two, three.
Well that fuckin' plan didn't fuckin' work.
Let's get the fuck outta here, okay?
You fools.
You can run, but you cannot hide.
You will now fight the beast.
Where's the fucking car, man?
Where the fuck is my car, it was just here.
Forget it. - Forget it?
You don't forget an 88 turbo peugeot, my brother.
Where the fuck is my car?
Man, there's a fuckin' devil bitch after us.
Let's go, man.
This way. - No, we go this way.
This fucking way! - No, we go, dougy,
I'll see you, when I see you.
See you when I see you.
Halt!
Police officer, open up!
Go, just go, drive!
No!
Wa-cha-whee!
And he slammed the door and he walked out, and I...
Joel, I just have to tell you
how happy I was to see you today.
You know, I,
I was so happy to see you today.
I was.
K, k, k.
Would you like a glass of wine?
I mean, I think a glass of wine
might make us both feel much better.
Hey, man, I don't drink.
No, I think, I think, I think it could.
All right, I mean, in the Bible people are drinking wine.
I mean, as long as you don't exceed your limit, isn't that...
I know that, I don't drink.
I'm not a drinker.
You see, I don't, I can't, I don't drink.
I appreciate it though, but I don't...
Have we met?
Wha-choo!
Ah!
I'm not fuckin' around!
Yeah, that's it.
That's it.
Hey.
Yeah, I got the gun.
I got
yes, got it.
Whoo, ah, come on.
What the fuck?
Sinner, fornicator.
You're supposed to be dead.
In my house!
You're supposed, you're supposed to be dead.
I'm going to teach you a lesson.
No.
No, you...
You're not my father, you're not my father!
Who are you?
Don't you know, boy?
I'm you, Joel.
No.
You can't...
Don't hurt my baby.
No!
Why are you doin' this to me?
Make your claim to this, Joel.
This is a test for your fate, Joel.
No!
Faith without works is dead.
Behold, I come quickly.
Hold that fast which thou hast,
that no man may take thy crown.
The power is in the word, Joel.
Blessed is the man that endureth temptation.
The power is in the word, Joel.
And the knowledge of that is your weapon.
The power's in the word, Joel.
This is between you and me.
It's always been between you and me.
I do.
Demon, let me rebuke you.
I rebuke you to the pit of hell from which you came.
J mm hmm hmm
j whoa I
j I wanna miss and nobody can't cramp my style
j so if you can't get down stay out the crib for a while
j I don't mean to be cruel, I know my heart's not cold
j but if you ain't dressed fly my brother you can't roll
j so stay with me, you got the bold life fleek
j stayin' on top, how's the smokin' seats
j with speed comin' at you like centipede
j riddim Dee cut a record fitted for a queen
j I can hear my man now, sayin', damn, you slow
j' I been dressed for a hour and I'm ready to go
j I said I like to take the time to make my gear legit
j look through the whole wardrobe, pick out the fly shit
j he's so walk-out rag, I think you bein' crazy
j so many backs show that you break in to Macy's
j sneakers galore, hos on the floor
j Hugo boss suits with the Louis on my drawls
j Hugo boy, Calvin, ja-mite-I'm sorry, ja-neer-ah
want me to light that for you?
J' I dress for fresh cuts with kick in the ad
j make sure I so tack, even if I spoiler hats
j you can't be back if you want that girl to mess with you
j watch out, a woman, man, on a mission
j mm hmm hmm
you should use a cigarette lighter next time.
The flame lasts longer.
Faith without works is dead.
And I knew that now.
Yet as my life continues its journey
along winding crossroads paved with fate,
I can almost say for sure that we'll somehow meet again.
J uh
j oh oh
j face, yeah, true face
j wanna see your face, true face
j see my, see your face, true face
j I want to see him, just want to see him
j I have a faithful and desire
j evil haunts me everywhere that I go
j I'm trying to make heaven my home
j gonna die to see him, just want to see hm
j when I think about all that he's done
j even risking when night could turn
j whoa, that's all I mention waiting in the sky
j know what I, I just wanna see him again
j your true face, whoa, I see him, yeah
j true face, see him see him, face
j true face, I wanna see him, I've heard about it
j just want to see him
j to the burnin', of the streets of Rome
j but on my white road, heaven starring
j I wanna hear the angels sing
j more than that, more than anything
j I wanna see him
j oh yeah
j true face, see him see him
j face, true face, I wanna see him
j tell him about it
j just want to see him
j face, true face
j face, oh face
j see him, see him
j again
j I want to see him, just want to see him
j just for a moment, just for an hour to feel
j feel his power
j all I want, it's all I need
j I wanna thank him for everything is good for me
j true face
j want to see your face, true face
j see him, see him, face, oh
j true face, I wanna see him
j I want to see him, tell him about it, just want to see him
j I wanna see him
j I want to see him
j I just wanna see you, oh yeah
j ho ho ho, face, true face
j speak to me, I wanna see your face
j I wanna see myself, see myself, face, true face
j see myself, yeah, I want to see him
j I wanna see him
j face, true face
j I want to see him face to face
j same old same old face to face
j I want to see him, just want to see him
j I wanna see him
j I just wanna see him
j tell him about it
j I just wanna see him, sure would be wonderful
j I just wanna see him, whoa yeah
j oh ho ho ho