…of the United States of America
and to the republic for which it stands.
One nation, under God,
indivisible,
with liberty and justice for all.
- Bader? - Here.
- Bender? - Here.
Cohen? Absent.
- Di Marco? - Here.
- Epstein? - Here.
- Friedman? - Here.
- Hawkman? - Here.
- Jacobs? - Here.
- Katlin? - Here.
- Levine? - Here.
- Malinco? - Malincanico.
- Matthew, George? - Here.
- Murgalo? - Yo!
- Rosiello? - Present.
- Tyrell? - Yeah, present.
- Weinstein? - Hey, you know you get that right every morning?
- Yuckamanelli? - Here.
We have a new student who has just transferred into our class today,
Miss Jane Bradshaw. Please say hello.
Hello.
Class, I have some instructions for you on fire drills.
I have some instructions for you on fire drills,
so please take out a paper and take them down.
- Mr. Cohen, you're late. - No I'm not.
Miss Molina, I just saw the principal in the hallway
and he says he's gotta talk to you immediately.
Oh. All right now class, I have to go to the principal's office.
But before I go, Mr. Cohen is passing out these sheets of yellow paper
and I want you to put your last name first and your first name last at the top.
Followed by today's date and the period that you are here,
which for your information, is homeroom.
Now I'll be… Chaz!
Now I'll be right back. So please have those sheets filled out.
Here she comes!
Mr. Cohen, where is my chalk?
Why don't you take a look in your desk, Miss Molina? You might find some chalk there.
Ooh.
Mr. Rosiello, Mr. Murgalo, Mr. Tyrell,
I am separating the three of you for your own good.
Mr. Rosiello, you come right up here in front of me.
And Mr. Murgalo, you sit in the last row by the blackboard.
- Where is Mr. Tyrell? - Huh?
- You stay there. - Oh, thank you.
Mr. Rosiello.
Come on up here, Mr. Rosiello.
I am keeping you separated like this
so we don't have any more of that delinquent behavior
that we have had in the past. Is that clear?
Sit down. Copy this information down.
Mr. Rosiello, what do you think you are doing?
Well, there does seem to be a draft going across that seat.
I just thought I'd move back so I wouldn't get in the draft.
All right. But just don't make me throw you out.
I wouldn't want you to do that.
- Got another draft, Mr. Rosiello? - I don't know what it is.
Wherever I sit there seems to be a draft. Either that or the sunlight's in my eyes.
- You don't mind if I move back here, do you? - Sit down.
Now if you will all settle down and stop moving about
maybe we could learn something today.
Don't you agree?
Get out of here! Get out of here!
And don't come back until you have a letter from your mother. Do you hear me?
Chico, Butchey, Wimpy, I'll see you at the hotdog man, okay?
And I'll see you too, sweet meat.
- Howdy, David. - Hi, Ma.
Why don't you drink out of a glass?
- That's a glass. - I'm making you a sandwich.
- Oh, Blackout. - Don't eat cake. I'm making you a sandwich.
I don't want a sandwich.
- You're going to ruin your appetite. - No I'm not.
You're going to ruin your teeth.
I'm gonna ruin my face.
- David. - Goodbye, Ma. I gotta go.
- What do you mean you gotta go? You just came in. - I'm in a rush, okay.
- I'm expecting you home for supper.
Okay, don't worry, Ma. I'll be here.
Let's go, let's go.
- Strike one! - Strike one. Right over there.
- What do you mean, strike? - Strike one, right?
- It was right over the plate. - Hey, look at this.
Hey.
Why don't you put an egg in your shoe and beat it?
Scram, honeys.
Dork.
- Hi, Stanley. - Hi, Chico.
- Hi, Frannie. - How are you?
Hi, baby, how you doing?
- Annie, come on. I'll see you tonight. - Yeah, yeah.
See you tonight, Chico.
- Nice shot. - Thanks.
Do you want to play a little nine ball?
A buck a throw?
Rack 'em up. I'll break.
Okay. I'm gonna take the deuce in the caboose.
Tre, the same way.
Four out the back door.
Hey, what kind of a thing is that? What are you, outlaws?
Is that a club or something?
Yeah, it's a whatchamacallit, a social athletic club.
You know. We play a little ball, bust a few heads.
- You ever hear of the Js? - No, where they from?
- Avenue J. - Oh yeah. I think I remember hearing about them.
- You know we broke up. - Did you have a lover's quarrel?
You remind me of a guy I used to know. He used to be in the Js.
A little short guy. We used to call him Mouse.
- You watch it. - What are you gonna call a little fellow named mouse?
- He's only 5'3". - Well let me tell you something.
First of all, I'm not 5'3", I'm 5'6".
And second of all, it ain't the size, man. It's whether or not you got balls, you know?
You're 100 percent right. If you got balls, you got nothing to worry about.
That's right.
- You look like you can handle yourself pretty well. - I do all right, you know.
I do better in groups. You know what I mean?
I like to know if I get in trouble
I can snap my fingers, man, and the Lords come out running.
Like I feel good around my friend, Stanley.
He's what you call my insurance.
- Hey Wimp. - Hey Stan.
Where did you go?
There you go pool player. I didn't get your name, man. What's your name?
You can call me Moose, but now everybody calls me Mambo.
Moose Mambo, this is Stanley. And this is Chico.
- Moose, huh? - Mambo.
If you're Moose the rest of your friends must be killers, huh, Moose?
What do you mean by that?
Pay no attention to the Fig Newton. He don't know what he's talking about.
- How many time a day I gotta threaten your life? - I forget, you know.
Hey Chic, you ever hear of the Js, man?
Yeah, it's a bird, man.
You know if he was on Avenue J, he wouldn't talk like that.
Yeah, well I'll tell you something about Avenue J.
I eat Avenue J.
Hey Moose. Let's say you and me play a little game of pool, huh?
- Good idea. - Yeah, I'll rack 'em up.
- Five dollars a throw, right? - That's good.
- Go ahead and break. - Gimme my dollar back.
I think it's my shot.
Normally it would be.
- This ain't no game for me, man. - Here, we play by me rules.
You'd lose a fin.
- Listen, I'll see you guys around. - Hey!
- Don't do that. - Don't do what?
- Hey, who is this guy? - He is the guy that gonna tell me to kill you.
- Tell you to what? - To kill you.
Hey listen. Maybe one at a time. But not three against one.
Hey, do you know who I am?
Do you know who I am, huh?
I'm gonna tell you something. I don't like no punky people up around here
with a mouth on them. You understand?
- Okay! - Is that clear?
- Okay! - I don't like you!
- Okay. - Take off old man.
- See you around. - Take off.
I like that guy. He's all right. He's got balls. You know what I mean?
As long as he can't beat me, it's all right.
Come on, Wimp, rack 'em up, will you?
Chico, this is the outfit that I was telling you about this afternoon.
- Yeah? - I got it special, just for you.
- Give me a hand with the blanket. - Sure.
Listen, Chico.
I don't know why I came here tonight.
Just take your boots off and put them on the corner.
No really. I thought you were going to take me out for a change. I got all dressed up.
Hey, you look terrific.
- Do I? - Yeah.
Chico, do you think maybe tomorrow night we could go into New York City?
Like maybe to the Roxy or something really classy.
- Yeah, we could do that. - Yeah.
Chico, you know you're getting fresh.
- Come on, baby. - Chico.
Chico, no. Chico.
Yeah.
Oh, Chico.
Chico, you know. This is what Frannie got pregnant by fairly not too long ago.
Oh my God.
Chico.
You made a mess.
Chico, can we go to Wendy's now, so I can get some clams on a half shell?
Yeah, we'll see.
- Hey, did you say Frannie's pregnant? - I didn't say that.
Okay.
What's she gonna do?
Stanley's gonna marry her. That's what she's gonna do.
You know something, Chico.
There are a lot worse things in this world than getting married.
Hello. Is Jane there?
Yes, sir. I realize it's late, but I've been trying to get her.
Would you tell her Carl Erskin is calling?
Hello, Jane.
Yeah, it's Chico from class.
Chico, slow down here, I gotta get off.
What do you mean, you gotta get off? Where are you going?
I'll see you later!
Chico, I'm going to get in trouble!
Come on, you gotta give me a kiss.
Bye!
I'm late.
For what?
My friend. I'm a month late with my friend.
- What friend is that, Frannie? - Stanley, I'm pregnant.
That rubber band didn't work.
What are you gonna do?
Tell me who the guy is and I'll kill him, Fran.
What are you gonna do?
I ain't doing nothing. What do I gotta do?
Well, we could announce our engagement in the Brooklyn Eagle next week.
No Frannie. No way. You, you…
You. You're the one who's pregnant, not me. You.
Why me Frannie? Why not some of these other guys?
You know there's nobody else.
Yeah, I know. I know.
Damn. Why ain't you pretty?
How would you like me to tell those guys over there that you cry when you come.
I'm kidding. Now listen to me. That's enough.
Come here.
Frannie, are you sure about this?
Yes, Stanley, I'm sure.
- What am I going to tell my mother? - I don't know.
- What do I say to the priest in confession? - I don't know.
What kind of clothes am I going to wear to school?
I don't know, Frannie.
Listen to me. I know a guy who uh…
Who knows a guy downtown…
He handles these things.
- You're going to be a father. - I don't want to be a father. You understand?
I don't want to be a father.
I'm too young to be a father.
But you're old enough to make me pregnant.
And to go in the Army.
If I married you, I wouldn't have to go in the Army, would I?
Stanley, it could be terrific.
We could get our own television and watch American Bandstand all the time.
Then we could buy a two-family house, right here in the neighborhood
and my mother could live downstairs.
- Maybe she could even pay the mortgage. - Frannie. Listen to me.
You sound like we've got a license already.
Right now I don't want to get married. Truthfully. I don't want to.
I was just kidding to be a prick.
Just kidding.
Stanley.
I love you.
Hi.
My parents wanna meet you.
These are my parents. Mommy, Daddy, Chico Tyrell.
- How do you do? - How do you do?
- We've hear a lot about you. - Yeah?
Jane told us that you were in some of her classes and
that you met the other night at a fraternity party.
- All right, look, excuse me for a moment. Will you please? - Certainly dear.
- Yeah. - Are you a member of that fraternity?
No. I uh… I belong to the Lords.
Well, is that a fraternity?
No. It's what you might call a social athletic club.
Uh-huh, I see. Do you play a regular position or something?
No, nothing set. It's just…
We just sort of take turns. If you know what I mean.
- Look who's here. Nancy, what are you doing out of bed?
- Chico, this is Jane's sister, Nancy. - Hi.
- My sister says you're cute. - Hey.
Yeah?
Well your sister tells me you got a cold.
- Chico's right. Now be a good girl and run on up to bed. - I don't want to.
Mommy and Daddy will be home soon. And we'll bring you something. Okay?
- Good night. - Good night honey.
- Don't forget to bring me something. - We won't dear. Goodnight.
Come on, Pat, let's go. It's not right to keep everybody waiting.
- You're right. I'm very happy to have met you, Chico. - Yeah.
- Goodnight. - Goodnight dear.
We'll be in the Officer's Club at Fort Hamilton.
We'll be home early, if I can get your mother away from the General.
- Goodnight Mom and Daddy. Have a good time. - Goodnight.
You know you're going to be the most beautiful bride.
Oh Annie. Coming from you that's really important to me.
I can just see you now walking down the aisle of that church.
Annie, how do you think it's gonna sound when I say
bless me Father for I have sinned. I'm pregnant?
- I'm sure he's heard that so many times before. - You think so?
Of course. That's why they call it Our Lady of a Thousand Sorrows.
Are you gonna throw me a shower?
That's for me to know and for you to find out.
- Oh, come on, Annie. - No, I'm not gonna tell you.
Now come on. We're here to look for rings. Do you see anything that you like?
What about this one?
Frannie, that's really yellow.
Hello, are you Mr. Birnbaum of Birnbaum brothers?
No, I'm his son. Can I help you?
Um, yes you can. We'd like to see that ring, please.
Who's it for?
It's for my friend here.
- Is this the one? - That's it.
It's a beautiful ring. Come on, try it on.
- Oh Annie, look at it. - That is just gorgeous.
That is the most stunning thing I have ever seen in my whole life.
Oh, it's so right. Oh, it's gorgeous.
- I've gotta have it. - Definitely.
- It's me. - I know.
Annie, it's really me.
I've never seen anything so beautiful in my whole life.
What is Stanley gonna say?
- Just tell him to get a job. From nine to five. Don't worry.
Yeah, but then he's not gonna be able to go to college.
Excuse me, but how much is that ring?
Let me see. This is our one and a half karat,
marquis setting, with the two baguettes.
- $1,600. - $1,600?
- That is including the baguettes, of course? - Of course.
- Annie. - Do you have a layaway plan here?
Yes, we do.
- That's good. - Annie.
What time are you open until?
We're open until nine, every night.
Could you put that ring away for us? And we'll be back and pick it up.
Of course I can.
Now don't sell it to anyone else.
No, I won't sell it to anybody else.
- Annie. - Okay. We'll definitely be back.
- I'll look for you. - Thank you.
- Thanks for calling. - Bye-bye. See you later.
Okay now. We have to get your shoes and the bag.
And the gloves.
What are you doing out of bed?
I want a glass of water.
Okay, get it. But hurry up and get back to bed.
Go on.
Good night.
Good night, Nancy.
- Good night, Chico. - Good night.
Go on.
Please.
Don't worry, baby. It's okay. I won't hurt you.
It's okay.
- No. - What's wrong.
- I love you. - No!
What color are my eyes?
Purple.
It's just that you make me very nervous sometimes, Chico.
Yeah?
Well maybe I wouldn't make you so nervous if I wasn't here. Okay.
Okay. Cut the cards.
- Hey you're in a hurry to lose, right?
- Yeah. - There you go. All shuffled.
Okay. The tenth time today.
I win. You lose.
Hey, what are you doing there?
Brooklyn bad man.
- Tell me about the beach. - She's beautiful.
- Beautiful? Man, she's ugly. - Hey, watch it.
We just want to know what happened.
- What did you do to her? - Take a dip in the pool, or something?
Did you get her on the beach?
What did she do to you, man?
Hey man, Did you tell her that we all share and share alike around here?
- - I'm sorry. I didn't happen to mention you guys.
It didn't come up in the conversation.
You didn't tell her about us?
Not even me, Chico. What are you, a loon?
- Did you get your hands on those lemons? - Lemons?
- Grapes. - Grapes?
- Bits? - Bits!
- Come on, man. - Come on, Chico, what did you do?
What do you want? Do you want to get your rocks off on my date?
Ooh. Uh-oh.
Well you've got your own little pepperoni, man.
What are you doing?
- Why don't we trade hits? - Hey. Come on, man.
- Chico, why don't we trade hits? - Come on.
We can trade hits. And if you lose, you tell me everything.
Yeah, what if I win?
I'm leaving if you win.
I'm leaving town if you win.
- Come on, Chico. - No, no, no.
My money is on Chico.
Come on, man. I just don't want to mess up your hair.
Tell you what. I'm gonna give up my ring so I don't hurt you.
Thanks.
I'm gonna hit you.
Listen Chico. When it's over, I want your bike. I'll take good care of it.
- You want to go first? - No man.
Remember, you lose, you tell everything.
Hey, that's the way Crazy hits.
Ooh.
- You all right? - Yeah, sure.
You, you're all right? You're cool?
Hey. Just serve up a couple of egg creams for me and Chico, all right?
- You all right? - Yeah.
You better make it four egg creams. Send them up.
You're okay Chico. That stung.
Hey, if it isn't Annie and Frannie.
Annie, Frannie. Frannie, Annie. How's it hanging?
Hey Chico, it's Annie from Frannie Nanny.
Hi Chico.
Don't look at me, man. I ain't here.
Hello Chico.
What's the matter? Don't you want to see me anymore?
Yeah. I do.
I just uh… all my homework, you know.
Do you think it's easy keeping up that average?
You're so mature.
What's the matter, Chico?
Really, don't you want to see me anymore?
You're acting like a real hyena, Chico.
If you get tired of "Little Miss White Bread" you could give me a call.
I'll tell you, if I want to call you, I will. If I don't, I won't, okay.
Well, if I'm around I'll be there. And if I'm not, I won't.
You know something, Chico? I really don't understand you.
I really don't.
You know something, Chico. I really don't understand you.
I really don't.
Let's go, Frannie.
She'll go when I tell her to go.
You can go.
Bye Stanley. It was really nice spending time with you again.
- I wish we never came. He drives me crazy. - I know what you mean.
Hi, Jane.
- See Jane run. - There's Jane running.
Run, run, run.
Hey Butch, look at this.
You know what Chico really needs? Chico needs a car.
- You want to steal a car? - Yeah.
I can hot-wire any car in the world. You steal it, I'll hot-wire it.
Don't you worry, Chico.
You guys find the car and I'll start it.
The car ain't been built that I can't start.
I hope Chico appreciates this, you know…
- What are you stupid or something? - Come on.
I told you. To sneak in a place, you gotta be careful.
- Shut your mouth. - Shut up.
- Look, I got the brains. - Shh.
Don't be talking.
Whew.
Well?
- Well, that. - You mind?
I'm fine, I did it once in a movie, I thought I might be able to do it.
We're counting on you, you know, and you're lying.
- God damn it, whose idea was it? - Your idea! It was your idea!
Alright, keep it down… He's got the keys!
- Put on the car, start the car. - Alright, alright, sh.
Slam down the trunk.
- Who said you could drive, man? - I can drive.
Get out of there, get out.
Come on!
- Shot gun! - Bullshit!
Hey man, we got a car!
Let 'er rip!
- Ace. - Ace. Three bam.
- Three bam. - Two bam.
Hey Martha, you make the most beautiful spread.
Annie, never compared to you!
And the pineapple was beautiful.
Oh, look who's here. David, how are you?
Oh God, look at how tall…
Say hello.
Hi, how are you?
I can remember him when he was a baby.
Martha, he looks just like you. The image of you.
Oh, that cleft, I love it.
- Can I have ten bucks? - What are you going to do with ten dollars?
You got a good way of spending it or what?
Same old story, all the time.
Is she a nice girl? Is she worth ten dollars?
- You want to take out my daughter? - She's beautiful.
- When are you going to call my daughter? - We'd love to hear from you.
Be back by 11:30.
So long, Ma.
- Enjoy. Have a piece of pineapple. - No, that's okay, thanks.
- Goodnight, David. - Goodnight.
With all the talking around here how can you remember what you're playing?
So long, Mom. I'll be home by 11.
Come on, baby.
Whose car did you say this was?
- Yeah, I thought you'd like it. - I love it.
…they're sparkling cold, the juicy franks sizzling hot.
There's delicious coffee freshly brewed.
And all kinds of ice cream and candy to tempt you.
Come help yourself to the big variety of quality goodies.
Showtime will be announced loud and clear to get you back to your car in time.
So, stretch your legs. Come to the snack bar now.
Hey, your eyes aren't purple.
They're blue.
I'm glad you caught that.
- Do you trust me? - Mm-hmm.
Do you trust me?
Yeah.
Trust me?
- Trust me. - No.
Hey!
Did you miss me?
No.
Okay.
- What do you think? Huh? - Why didn't you tell me?
♪ When you're alone, ♪ ♪ when you're alone ♪
♪ People look at you differently ♪
♪ They treat you with dignity ♪
♪ Knowing you are alone ♪
♪ Knowing you… ♪
♪ I wish I was… ♪
♪ All… ♪
♪ Alone… ♪
♪ You are alone ♪
- Ain't exactly Ted Mac. - Nah, that was good. We'll get better.
Yeah, practice should help.
- Oh, I gotta go home. - What for?
I gotta be home at 12 o'clock. My mother waits up for me.
- I'll see you tomorrow, okay? - Bye.
Man, we steal Chico a car, we sit here like a pack of schmucks.
Ha, that's what I don't understand, how he can see the same broad every night.
Cause he's probably having a good time.
You guys want to go? Want to go?
Ah, you guys are in a hurry, you can go.
- Want to go? - I'll see you tomorrow.
Come on Killer, let's go.
- See ya, Butchey. - Yeah, yeah. Take it easy.
- Night Eddie. - Yeah.
Discuss.
Hey Eddie.
Why do you think we spend so much time in this stinking place?
- Must be my egg creams. - Yeah, I guess so.
Butchey, um…
You mind if I, uh, stick my two cents in worth where it don't belong?
Can I stop you?
You sure you don't mind me butting in?
Eddie, as long as you don't come over here and give me a great big kiss,
- anything goes. - Well, that's what I mean. That's exactly it.
- What? - You're a wise guy.
Me?
I ain't no genius, but I'm smarter than you
because you're a schmuck.
- Well, is that it? I mean are you finished? - No, I'm not.
You're a schmuck because you got brains. Not a lot…
But you got brains and you're wasting them.
Oh, don't stop now, man. You're just getting hot. I ought to be taking notes.
- Alright, forget it. - No, no. Don't forget it.
You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go home tonight, Eddie,
and I'm going to paint you a masterpiece.
You know what I think? I think that this little talk tonight has done me a world of good.
- Get the hell out of here. - Eddie.
I'm going to do something wonderful with my life.
And I owe it all to you.
Hey Eddie…
Goodnight.
Trust me?
Don't cry, babe. What's the matter?
What's the matter?
Nothing.
Tell me what's the matter.
No.
Don't you like us together?
That's not it.
- Well then tell me. What is it? - I don't know!
Tell me!
I don't want to talk about it.
Yeah, well I want to talk about it.
- What, did I hurt you or something? - No.
Come on, tell me what it is. I want to talk about it.
You're so beautiful. Come on.
- Look, I don't want to be just another… - What?
- I don't want to be that. - What?
- Chico, I don't want to talk about it. - I want to talk about it.
Tell me!
Look, I just don't want to be…
Just another… I don't want that.
I know.
Until I met you I didn't think it was possible, either.
Never seen a broad get so upset at a movie before.
Hey Butchey.
- Chico! - Yeah?
- Shut up, man. My parents are sleeping. - Yeah, yeah.
Hey, can I come up?
- Yeah, go around the side. - What?
- Go around the side. - Okay.
What you do tonight?
Well, I took, uh, Jane to the drive-in.
How far did you get?
Hey, do you want to help me dump the car?
Come on, help me dump the car, okay?
It's late. Tomorrow.
What are you pissed off about?
Who's pissed off? I'm not pissed off.
What's with you, man?
Nothing!
Jane!
Want to talk about it?
Well, there isn't, uh…
There isn't much to say.
I mean, what can I say?
You got nothing to say I can go to sleep.
Okay.
Well, here they are. Here's the happy couple.
- Congratulations. - Yeah, yeah. Thanks.
Uh, we came for it.
Let me get it.
I know in my mind that I wanted to be engaged.
You know something, Stanley? You've got the best girl in all of Brooklyn.
- Yeah, yeah. I know. - You do.
Oh! Look at that ring.
- Oh Stanley, couldn't you just picture that on her finger? - Isn't this a beauty?
Here let me try it on.
I want you to know something about this ring.
- - It's an investment in the future.
Oh Stanley, isn't it beautiful?
This is the ring I've wanted all my life.
- Stanley, you know they grow more valuable in time. - You women, hey.
Tell me something about this ring.
Well, it's, uh, one and a half karat marquis.
In a platinum setting. Two baguettes.
- It's a beauty. - No, no, no.
Tell me about "it."
Oh, 1,600 dollars.
16.
Hey, Birnbaum, do you got something else over there?
Say, something about the same size.
Do you have something like that? Huh?
I'll try and look.
- Let's get out of here. - Stanley, we could do it on the layaway plan.
- Stanley, you could even have them consign it. - I don't want nothing on
consignment, Annie.
Do me a favor. Why don't you go outside and run your teeth on the curb.
- Do me a favor would you? - Very funny, Stanley.
Don't talk to her like that, Stanley.
What do you think she's one of the boys on the corner?
She's my best friend and she's going to be my maid of honor.
That's right, Stanley.
Look, who ever heard of a maid of honor that rides in on a broom, huh?
I want that ring, Stanley.
I got a ring for you, Fran. I've got a ring for you.
Round my bathtub.
Christ.
Tell me again. How much is it?
How much is everything?
- The other ring? - This, yeah, the ring she has.
This ring is, um, 1,600 dollars.
It's marked down from 2,200 dollars and it's a steal.
It's a beautiful ring.
I don't want the ring, Stanley! I don't want it! I don't want it!
Will you listen to me? Hey, you want to calm down a minute? Listen to me.
Listen to me.
I'll get you an ID bracelet or something, alright?
- You cheapskate. - You are so cheap, Stanley.
Hey, meatball. I'm saving for a car.
- I'm saving for a car. - You're saving for a car?
You know, that's all you ever think of is money, money, money.
You know something, I don't think I'm even going to let you marry my girlfriend.
- Annie, shut up! - Hey, listen to me, Daddio, listen to me.
You got one of those rings, the thing where you take it out for ten days
- and you bring it back… - I don't want it for ten days, Stanley.
- I want it forever! - You know what I mean? It's a ten day ring.
- Stanley… - You have one back there?
I love you. Buy me that ring!
Alright, how much you want?
- I'll take ten percent, that's 160 dollars. - Nah, 90.
What ring?
Stanley, we're engaged! Oh, the ring is beautiful!
Did anybody ever tell you you've got real class, Stanley?
Alright, hey Fran, Fran, Frannie! Listen to me, Frannie!
Will you shut up a minute?
- Stanley, it's beautiful! - Oh, it's beautiful!
Frannie, Frannie, will you take the ring…
Will you take the ring outside and look at it in the dark or something, will you?
Take the ring out and see if it cuts glass or something.
- Oh Annie! Oh! - I don't believe it! It's so gorgeous.
Just look at the color.
It's a beautiful ring.
Listen to me. Listen Daddio.
See that girl that just walked out there?
You ever show her a $1,600 ring again,
you know what's going to be written on your tombstone?
No? You know what's going to be written on your tombstone?
"I was dumb enough to show Frannie Malincanico a $1,600 ring."
Know what I mean?
Oh, it looks fabulous. It's just so gorgeous.
Oh! Ah! You are so lucky.
- Did I do it? - Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Wonderful.
Stanley, this is the happiest day of my life!
Did I do it? Yeah, I know.
Stanley, this is the happiest day of my life, too.
- I can't believe it. - Who's the best guy in the world?
Oh, you are, Stanley.
- Is that real? - Yes, of course it is!
Hey, let me kiss the bride!
And the bridette!
You sure?
I'm going to be a little late.
- Okay, well, see you later. - See you later.
I'd be so much happier if you were getting married, too.
But that's what I always counted on. That's why I'm so happy for you.
I've always wanted a double wedding.
I know, Annie. But don't worry, listen. Stanley has a cousin in New Jersey.
He's gorgeous. Father owns a pizza place.
- Really? - I promise I'll fix you up. Don't worry.
- Okay. - Hey, my man Chico!
- There's Chico. - Hey! Chico!
You know what? Stanley just got engaged!
- Congratulate him! - Come on, go ahead. Go talk to him.
Hey, congratulations. Really.
Hey, hey Butchey. Are you interested in a little fun, man, huh?
- Not now. - Chico, I have to talk to…
Not now, alright? Not now.
Listen, Butch, hey, you interested in a little, uh, entertainment, man?
- What kind of entertainment? - Like putting your fist through somebody's face, man.
- Who's face? - Arnie Levine, that's who, man.
Oh hey, yeah, yeah!
Got time, Stanley? What about you?
- Got to do it today? - Yeah, man. I need it right now, man. I need you.
- Where is he? - You are not going! You promised me.
What are you pulling, huh?
I want to tell you something.
Don't ever tell me what to do. And don't ever tell me what not to do.
You understand me?
Do you?
Come on, man. Those guys have been asking for it. Come on.
Hey, hey, calm down.
- Let's go! - Alright!
Stanley! Come back!
You have your Sunday clothes on!
Arnie Levine! Get your ass out here!
Hey, you homo fairies dancing in there?
Hey, you guys coming out or do we need to go get you?
- Hey, this time you're going to lose your balls for real. - Get out here!
You scumbags!
- Who wants me? - I do, Levine!
- Guys, get back to work, come on! - I do.
What do you want?
You!
Guys! Get out of here.
Get out of here!
Butchey!
Hey Butchey! Hey, Butchey, you okay, man?
Hey, Stanley.
My leg.
I think it's broken.
Come here.
Come here, what happened to your foot? What happened to your foot?
Don't scratch, hey!
Thatta pretty girl, yeah.
If you eat your food, you know what's going to happen to you?
You know what's going to happen? You're going to
grow up to be a bald eagle. You want to be a bald eagle? Huh?
Or do you want to be a squirt? Who do you want to be?
Hey, Rocky Marciano! How are ya?
- Hey, what ya doing Jake? - Not much, man. I went to see Butchey.
- How is he, how is he? - He's alright, man. You going to go over and see him?
No, no, no, no, no.
Uh, I don't fit in well with hospitals. You know, I'm kind of afraid of the whole thing.
- I don't like it. - How ya feeling, man?
I can't complain, you know. I think I hurt my neck a little bit in the fight, you know.
Nothing serious, you know. But uh…
- Hey, you mind if I come up? - No, no. Come on up but, uh,
watch yourself right over here. It's a little tricky.
It's a little tricky.
That's it. You got it. Good boy.
You know, Chico, I've been thinking about getting some chickens, you know.
- What for? - What do you think about raising chickens?
- What for? - I figure this way, you know, Rhode Island chickens, right?
There's supposed to lay good eggs, right? I bet I could sell the eggs in the
neighborhood and when these, uh, Rhode Island chickens get too fat to lay anymore
eggs, I can eat them. What do you think?
Yeah, man. You can support your family, huh?
- She ain't pregnant. - She ain't?
- Nah, she ain't. - Hey, man it's good, you don't have to marry her then.
Nah, I don't have to marry her, but I might. You know? I might.
Hey, Chico, you know what you really got to have to raise pigeons?
You know what you really got to have? You got to have a thing what they call
- country blood. - Yeah?
- Hey, like you got? - Yeah, I got country blood, that's right.
You know, when you ain't around here, like when you're out there
screwing around on your little motorcycle. Huh, you know what I do?
You really want to know what I do? I come up here, I sit in my coop, and I read.
- You read, man? What do you read? - Uh, maps.
What the hell do maps got to do with anything?
Maps got a lot to do with a lot of things. Listen.
See, I figure it this way. The more maps you read, right, the more you know
know about where you want to go.
Like, well, what I do is… you pick a place. Okay? Any place in this whole stinking
world. You pick a place and I'll show you.
- Man, alright. Tokyo. - Alright, Tokyo. Good spot, okay.
Here's what we do. First, you got to pretend you're a pigeon.
Now, you look that way, you close your eyes, okay? Now. Go on.
Now, pretend you're flying and you're flying and you're going farther and farther.
Now right here, Chico, you look down.
Look down, Chico. Do you see what's down there? Look what's down there, Chico.
- Look, look. - Yeah, man. I see what's down there.
I see pigeon shit!
Oh, come on, man. Listen to me.
You want to do it or not? Now you're a pigeon, okay?
Alright, now shut your eyes. Dude, come on. Watch me.
You're going and you're flying and you're going over mountains and going over the
ocean. And your arms are getting tired. And you're going farther and farther.
Now right here, Chico, right here. Look down, man. Look down. Do you see what's
down there? Chinks.
Chinks. Do you know what that means, man? Chinks. You're in Tokyo, man.
- We're in Tokyo. - No, man. We're not in Tokyo, we're on the roof!
We're on the roof, man. Don't you see? We're not in Tokyo.
- I'm in Tokyo. - Yeah?
- Yeah. - Well, what's it look like, Stanley?
What's it smell like in Tokyo?
What's a matter, Chico, huh? Your bike broke, what's a matter?
Hey, man, that's the point, man. That's the whole point. Man, I got a bike.
I can go places, man. I can go places.
That's the whole thing, you see. I don't need a bike to go any place, Chico.
To go places, I don't even have to really go places.
- You gotta have imagination. - Nah, man.
- I got imagination! - You can have all the imagination you want, man.
You're never going to see no Chinks in Tokyo.
Listen to me, that's a stinking lie! I know what I do and you don't know what I do.
If I say I've been to Tokyo, I've been to Tokyo and nobody can tell me different.
I'll tell you something else, Chico.
I don't like you coming up here telling me what I can
- do, and what I can't do. - Alright. Alright.
I can see right through you, man!
- I see right through you. - You're going to be pigeon shit.
Pigeon shit, man. You got that? You're going to be pigeon shit.
Hey Chico! Chico!
I'm going to forget that, Chico!
Chico, you know why?
Do you, you know why?
'Cause if I don't forget that you're going to be buried, Chico!
You're going to be buried!
You're going to be buried, you hear me?
- Stanley? - What do you want?
What's wrong?
I'll be right down, Fran.
Wait a minute, I want to talk.
I just want to talk to you for a few minutes. Come on, wait.
I have to go home.
You're not going to go until you talk to me.
Alright, what do you want to talk about?
You did something to me.
- And I just wanted you to know. - Chico, look, I think I know
- what you're talking about… - No, no wait a minute.
You don't know what I'm talking about. Just let me tell you
what I'm talking about.
We had something between us.
- It was better than anything I've ever had… - Chico, I'm sorry
- if I hurt you. I'm sorry you got hurt! - I didn't say I got hurt.
I'm not talking about getting hurt. I don't care about that. I don't care about whether
you're sorry. I just want to tell you…
Look Chico, I just… can't we be friend?
Can't we just be friends?
Fine.
So immature.
I like you a lot. And we had a good time alright?
Yeah, I'm glad we had a good time. We'll have to do that again sometime.
Chico, I just don't understand you, that's all.
Yeah, well, that's okay. I guess I'm too tough to understand.
Look, don't you see. What you think is important, I don't.
- What I think is important, you don't. - Yeah, I guess so.
When are you going to grow up?
I guess never.
Hey, you slugger.
I did it, didn't I?
You got a nice little girl there. Be good to her.
I will, Pop.
- That's important. - I will.
May I have your attention, please?
Before we all settle down to a hearty meal!
I want you all to join
in a toast
to the bride and the groom.
- Who? - Where's the best man?
Wimpy!
Oh, yeah.
I just want to wish you well. Both of you.
I want you to have a good life.
Be happy.
Salut!
♪ Life is never really changing ♪
♪ Time is never really ♪ ♪ passing by ♪
♪ Only different people walking ♪
♪ Down familiar pathways where ♪ ♪ we walk ♪
♪ Only different people saying ♪
♪ The same things we were saying ♪
♪ When we talked ♪
♪ And dreams are still made of ♪
♪ All the things ♪ ♪ dreams are made of ♪
♪ Never finding happiness ♪
♪ It's still what everybody is ♪ ♪ afraid of ♪
♪ Tomorrow we may go our ♪ ♪ separate ways ♪
♪ So let me drink a ♪ ♪ toast to you my friend ♪
♪ On this your wedding day ♪
♪ Yesterday we laughed and ♪ ♪ played ♪
♪ Life was just a ♪ ♪ game that had no end ♪
♪ And we would do it all again ♪
♪ All the joy and all the pain ♪
♪ Cause we have friends ♪
♪ Every day was something new ♪
♪ We fell in love and didn't ♪ ♪ know quite what to do ♪
♪ And one day we'll feel like we ♪
♪ Never have been here ♪
♪ One day when we're traveling ♪ ♪ down ♪
♪ Some dusty road on some ♪ ♪ unfamiliar highway ♪
♪ Tomorrow we may go our ♪ ♪ separate ways ♪
♪ So all of us we drink a toast ♪
♪ To you, on this your wedding ♪ ♪ day ♪