20-29! Go!
All right. You take the inside.
On this one, you take the inside. 54...
Ready, set...
2-85!
Back! Throw! Throw the ball! Touchdown, joe.
- What? - Pendleton. Hes looking awful good.
Fall into it. All right. Come on, baby.
Set... Good movement. Lets try it again.
1 -83!
- Hes looking awful good. - Here we go!
Hustle back, hustle back. Come on, guys. Come on.
Opposite left, play past 35. X-curl on 1 . Ready? Break.
4-3, set!
- Play past 29... - 2-81 !
Pass! Pass! Pass! Ball! Ball! Ball!
Once again, we had a foul-up on that scrimmage.
The fullback has been slow getting up for his block.
The guard almost ran into him. We got to do it till its right.
Formation left. Screen right on 2. Ready?
Right, left! Right, left!
4-3... Set! 2-85!
Looking awful good.
lm thinking of starting him on Sunday.
- What about jarrett? - Pendletons looking better.
2-81 !
Pass! Pass! Pass!
Ball! Ball! Ball!
- ls he still on cortisone? - No.
Any kind of painkiller?
- Nothing. - Hes looking awful good.
l never saw a knee like that heal without surgery.
- Hes looking awful good. - Looking good.
- Hi, joe. Hows the knee? - Good.
What do you think of the Rams chances?
Were going to the Super Bowl to win.
- No, off the record. - Off the record?
Were going to the Super Bowl to win.
- Sure. What about your competition? - Competition?
- jarrett. - My competitions 25 other teams.
- Max? - Yeah!
- How you doing? - Whats in this brown stuff?
- Thats mainly whipped liver. - Liver?
l put a little whey in it, then mix it with a little alfalfa sprouts,
and some bean curd and spinach.
lts nice, isnt it? lts a liver and whey shake.
Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear joe Happy birthday to you
l didnt think anybody knew. Thanks for coming, Max.
- Put it here. - l hope you have a lot more.
Whats this?
You know something? At my age, in any other business, ld be young.
Look at it this way...
Soon you can get into another business and have a real life.
l dont know what that means.
This is the only business l know thats real. lm stuck.
What do you mean, stuck?
lve been working my whole life to get a chance to do something...
l dont know if lm ever going to get a chance to do it.
- No, its all right. - lll fix your neck.
- Dont do that, joe. - Wait a minute.
- Hows that? - Oh, boy. Yeah.
lt scares the hell out of me every time you do that.
lf you dont watch how your trapezius goes into your deltoids,
youre going to throw off your entire cervical and your lumbar areas.
Since lm the only guy knows how to fix that,
- you should listen to me. - Maybe you should trade places.
You be the trainer. lll start on Sunday.
Yeah...what?
- lm starting against Dallas? - Yeah.
They dont want jarrett. They want you.
Happy birthday, joe.
My watch stopped. lt keeps flashing the same time.
lm dreaming, huh?
This is an aeroplane dream.
l forget what they mean. l think theyre a good sign.
Mr Pendleton.
Mr Pendleton, you must wait for me. lm your escort.
Wait for me, please, Mr Pendleton.
The end of the line, Mr Pendleton, please.
Hi. How you doing? You want to hear a little music?
- You have to wait in line. - What? This is my dream, isnt it?
You mustnt get out of line. Really!
- Chamberlain, Paul R. - All right.
lve brought the final passenger. This manifest is complete.
- Hi. - You cannot board before your turn.
l dont need a turn. lm not boarding.
You dont understand. This is not your ultimate destination.
That will take you to it.
lm not going. lm going to run around till l wake up.
lm afraid l havent fully explained how this system is organised.
The rules derive from yours,
a product of your image and that of those who share your image.
lf you violate the rules, the principles...
You want to see a trick?
l do this to keep my abductor pollicis limber.
l dont have a lot of patter with it.
Feel that. Thats a 50-cent piece.
l just throw that into that hand, you see.
l say the magic words, Abracadabra, and then presto, its gone.
Now, you probably think l still have it.
Youre wrong, cause l can see it coming out of your ear.
The only trick l know.
- Mr Pendleton! - Gentlemen?
Gentlemen, whats the delay?
Weve received a new arrival who refuses to board.
Thats impossible. Have you explained the rules to him?
- Yes, sir. - Quite clearly?
- Yes, sir. - And what was his rebuttal?
He took a coin out of my ear.
Did he? Perhaps l should have a word with him.
Yes, sir. Mr Pendleton!
Hes right over there, sir.
- Mr Pendleton! - Yeah. You can call me joe.
How you doing?
Mr Pendleton, do you know where you are?
lm in the middle of a really weird dream.
- You see the problem? - joe, come here.
Look at me and listen carefully to what lm saying.
- This is not a dream. - Yeah.
Life has a certain quality all its own, a certain feeling.
So do dreams. You know that this is not life.
And you know now that this is not a dream.
This is a place that comes after life and after dreams.
lm sure youre aware of that, and youll take your place with the others.
Are you telling me...?
- lm not supposed to be here. - But you are here.
You guys made a mistake.
This is insupportable. Youre talking to Mr jordan.
- Anybody can make a mistake. - Mr jordan, were due to take off.
l have the situation in hand. joe, if you dont take your place,
the others cant complete their journey. ls that fair?
lm not supposed to be fair, you are. l didnt make any mistake.
This is not heaven, its a way station. Theres no mistake.
l want a check-out on joseph Pendleton.
When is he due at this way station?
Sir, l dont understand. A check-out? Why?
The likelihood of one individual being right
increases in proportion to how much others try to prove him wrong.
Pendleton, joseph. Due to arrive 1 0.1 7 am, March 20th, 2025.
Sir, l really cant believe it.
l took him out... just before the accident.
You did what?!
Youre not supposed to do that, you must wait for the outcome.
But l was so sure, and it looked like it would be painful.
- Wait. Are you saying...? - ls this your first assignment?
- Yes, sir. - Havent you learned the rules?
Every question of life and death is a probability until the outcome.
So he jumped the gun.
just put me back and well forget the whole thing.
This man must be put back into his body at once.
Thanks, Mr jordan. lll see you in about 50 years.
- Max, lm back. - He cant hear you, Mr Pendleton.
l hope they got the best football team in America in heaven,
and l hope God makes you first-string.
lm going to get my body back. Wheres my body?
- Oh, dear. - Cremated. l see.
lm starting against Dallas on Sunday.
The body you occupied on Earth has been cremated.
Uncremate me! You must be able to do something right.
Do the words not being a good sport mean anything to you?
We can put you into another mans body,
provided his death has not yet been discovered.
Are you kidding? Put me into the body of another man?
l just got my body back in shape.
The only way you can return to life is in the body of another man.
l shall have to take charge of this case personally.
lncredibly graceful. Hes about your age and in perfect condition.
Hes too short. Hed never see over the line.
You know what kind of shape you gotta be in to get to the Super Bowl?
Yes, joe. l understand.
- Hes not talking English. - l told you he was German.
- Hey, you talk any English? - We cant be seen or heard, joe.
Well, l dont want to talk German.
l gotta call the plays in English.
joe, if you could not so much lower but broaden your standards.
Weve seen many bodies and the choices are becoming limited.
- julia, l beg of you... - l want a drink.
- Dearest, please! - lve got to have a drink.
Mr Farnsworth loathes cold cucumber soup.
Hey, this is some house. Who lives here?
Leo Farnsworth, a man of enormous power.
Thank you, Sisk.
just leave the door open as you leave, Sisk. Thank you.
The more servants who see us, the better.
- This guy? Youre kidding! - Thats not Farnsworth.
Give me a drink.
- Who are they? - Farnsworths wife and secretary.
- You hate me. - Dont be ridiculous. l love you.
l want a drink now! Tony...
lt would be better if you didnt drink.
How long will it be before they find him?
l dont know, darling. Not long.
- lm glad we did it. - We couldnt help it.
lt would be better if youd try not to unravel now. Thank you, julia.
- ls Farnsworth dead yet? - Not yet.
Whats the matter with him? He cant keep his eyes open.
Hes been drugged by those two downstairs. This is a murder.
You see how hes slowly sliding into the water?
Hey, somebody, get... !
Hey, get a doctor. Theres a guy...
Get a doctor. You got a guy drowning in the bathtub.
- You left a pot on the carpet. - l cant hold everything at once.
Mrs Farnsworth would kill you if she saw that.
Hey, somebody! You got...
- Give me a drink! - Please dont go overboard, dear.
He was a lecherous sadist. Everyone wanted him dead.
- l should be canonised! - Perhaps one drink.
- Where can the man be? - lm sorry, Miss Logan...
What harm can that do him?
- Thats enough. - He deserves to be dead.
They didnt? No kidding? Theyre murderers.
Whats going on?
lm sorry, sir. lts Miss Logan to see Mr Farnsworth.
- Show her in. - Yes, sir.
lts the perfect alibi. She insists on seeing him.
- Lets find another body. - A servant will find him.
Excuse yourself and keep Sisk with you at all times...
- Lets get out of here. - Miss Logan, sir.
Miss Logan. lm Tony Abbott.
This is the library. Thats Mrs Farnsworth.
Hello. lm going into the living room.
- Want to come, Sisk? - Certainly, madam.
lm Mr Farnsworths personal and private executive secretary.
l didnt know whether you knew that. lm sorry hes not down yet.
Thats all right. lll wait.
- Would you take a seat? - No, thank you.
Perhaps youd like to tell me what its about.
Mr Farnsworth has been sent hundreds of letters
from Pagglesham in England.
The people who live there, 1 ,600, including my father,
are to be evicted from their homes
to make way for the proposed Exo-Grey refinery.
Hundreds of families will be forced to find other homes.
The few who remain will have their health endangered
by poisoning of their air and water,
the evidence for which l have here,
along with a petition signed by the 1 ,673 citizens of that area.
This is what lm here about.
Mr Farnsworth conducts business at his office.
lve been to his office. He refused to see me.
- l doubt hed see you here. - Hell have to, lm not leaving.
- lm sorry? - lm not leaving.
lve come 8,000 miles to do something about a terrible injustice
that this man has perpetrated on hundreds of defenceless people.
- Somebody ought to help her. - You can. You can be Farnsworth.
lf Mr Farnsworth doesnt see me, l dont know what lll do.
- ls that a threat? - Yes.
ld like to help, but not as Farnsworth.
- The decision is yours. - You give me no choice. Sisk!
lf l had to be Farnsworth, could we do it temporary?
Yes. We could arrange that if you wish it.
Sisk, please tell Mr Farnsworth Miss Logan refuses to leave.
Yes, sir.
lf you really want to help her, youd better hurry.
- Well, its only temporary, right? - Thats correct.
Only Farnsworth can help her.
Once the bodys discovered, itll be too late.
Thats me. l havent changed.
- lts just me. - Mr Farnsworth?
- Now what do we do? - Are you there, sir?
lll never get away with this. What will we do now?
Are you all right?
- Answer him. - People can hear me now?
- Of course. - But he knows the other guys voice.
Mr Farnsworth, is everything all right?
Answer him.
Will you take it easy? lll be out in a minute.
- Very good, sir. - lt works.
Of course. You havent changed.
Youre still joe Pendleton. Thats what you and l see.
But outwardly, youre Leo Farnsworth, and thats what everyone else sees.
Miss Logan is downstairs, sir.
She insists on seeing you. Will you dress?
- Sure, sure. - Very good, sir.
You mean l sound like this guy, no matter what l talk like?
- l beg your pardon, Mr Farnsworth? - You see?
julia, please, dear.
- Please, dear, not now. Not now. - l want a sip.
Youre sorry you have me, arent you? You wish he were alive.
- julia, please. - Why dont you say its not true?
- You didnt say its not true. - lts not true.
Say it again.
Darling, its not true. l dont hate you. l love you.
- There, sir. - Thank you.
Your helmet, sir. Your polo helmet, sir.
- Thanks. Do l play polo? - Not really, sir.
- Sir? - Thank you.
- This Logan girl is a godsend. - Whats taking so long?
Pretend youre reading.
- Miss Logan, sir. - Hi. How you doing?
lm not leaving until youve heard what l have to say.
Oh, yeah. Well, good.
Mr Farnsworth, youve been sent hundreds of letters from Pagglesham.
- l know about that. - Have you read the letters?
- Well, no. - No. l suspected as much.
Thats why lve flown over here. l and the 1 ,673 people l represent,
whose names are on this petition,
will not allow their futures to be determined by bureaucrats
at the beck and call of industrialists like yourself,
for whom the elderly and children are just figures in a ledger.
- Do l make myself clear? - But...
There are no buts. You can call your guards and have me dragged out.
- lt would be bad publicity. - Why dont just sit down?
- l prefer to stand. - We can stand.
lve made it my business to find out about Exo-Grey lndustries.
Facts that would make interesting newspaper copy.
- Your tea, Mr Farnsworth. - Oh, right... Yeah. My tea.
Will there be anything else, Mr Farnsworth?
No. l think thats about it.
Thanks a lot. You want some tea?
l want to know what youre going to do about Pagglesham.
Pagglesham! lts what were talking about!
These people care that their community
isnt destroyed in the name of free enterprise.
A community where families have lived for generations...
l know about Pagglesham...
These people will not let you intimidate and frighten them.
l dont frighten anybody.
- What in Gods name was that? - Well, that was...
...my...Mrs Farnsworth.
Sorry to disturb you. Mrs Farnsworth saw a mouse, but shes better now.
- She just saw a mouse? - No, outside. But she relives it.
lll be in the other room if you need me, sir. Excuse me.
- Whats the matter with her? - Well, listen...
- lts really none of my business. - Your wifes not your business?
You dont understand...
We will never let you build that refinery.
All right. lll build my refinery in some other place.
Very funny. lf you think lm going back to Pagglesham, youre wrong.
l know youre not afraid of me.
You think a schoolteacher is no challenge for a famous industrialist,
- but believe me... - Will you please listen?
just be quiet a minute. just let me say one thing.
- What is it? - Sit down.
Why?
l think l can explain something thatll clear this whole thing up.
lm not really Leo Farnsworth.
- What? - My name is joe.
Very funny. lm sure you enjoy playing these insulting little games.
However, l know about your board meeting on Thursday,
which may mean nothing to you,
but if you think you can treat women with the same contempt
your company treats communities of the world,
youve a lot to learn about the strength of people like myself.
Dont think youre getting away with this. Youre not!
You got till that meeting on Thursday
to find me a body that can play quarterback.
Darling, lm going to let you go.
lm going to let you go now. Please stop screaming.
Listen. There is nothing to be frightened of.
Theres plenty to be worried about, but nothing to be frightened of.
Are you all right? Can l trust you? Yes, dearest?
- You locked me in a closet. - For a moment.
- What did you tell him? - You saw a mouse.
Look, lm no good at spur-of-the-moment alibis.
Hes probably got enough evidence to lock us away forever.
l dont understand this. l saw him inhale the nose spray.
He never really inhaled it. He overheard us somehow.
Maybe hes got us bugged right now.
No, an electronics expert sweeps the place daily.
- Hes afraid of being bugged, too. - Hes playing with us.
Hes playing a game with us, thats what it is.
- You locked me in a closet. Why? - Hello.
Mr Farnsworth would like to see you now.
Yes, indeed. Would you excuse me, Mrs Farnsworth?
Yes, of course, Mr Abbott.
We could raise it at the meeting, but lm sure its legal.
But cant something be legal but still wrong?
- ln what sense? - Bad for somebody else.
- What are you referring to? - Like this refinery in Pagglesham.
- Was that the living room? - That was my office.
- My coordination is shot? - Yes, sir.
- just not my day. - No, sir.
l wanted to discuss the Haitian arrangement. The 2.5 million acres.
- 2.5 million acres? - The sugar deal.
- lts no good. - The deal?
- No, the sugar. lts bad for the body. - Shall l speak to the ambassador?
No, check on Pagglesham, see if were hurting anybody.
- lf were hurting anybody? - Yeah.
ls the wicket bugged?
We certainly wouldnt want to hurt anybody.
Thats the last thing Exo-Grey would ever want to do, right?
Yeah. We dont want to hurt anybody. Thank you.
Pagglesham.
He pretended not to know what a stockholder was!
l cant tell if hes toying with me or actually precipitating a crisis.
Hes toying. He wont forget being drugged.
- Why would he pretend? - Why pretend to inhale the spray?
To bait us, waiting for us to crack.
Do you think hes playing that saxophone? lts a tape.
Thats why we keep hearing the same song.
lts like those idiot costumes of his...
You are dumb, arent you?
Thanks. Thank you.
Their magic number is one,
meaning a Ram victory Sunday or next week against the Falcons
or a 49er loss, and the Rams clinch the NFL Western Division title.
The way theyre playing,
the team feels this is the Rams year to go to the Super Bowl.
Jarrett has completed an astounding 62% of his passes
for 1 8 touchdowns.
The defence has given up but 1 0 points a game,
while the offence scores 2 1 points a game.
Their record is the best...
What you mean is nobody should have that information,
because if two big companies get together, theyre worth more money?
Yes, sir.
Thats why the rumour of a merger makes the price of the stock rise.
lf its supposed to be a secret, how does the rumour start?
Wrong as it seems, they leak it.
- But thats dishonest. - Yes, it is.
lf l got a board meeting tomorrow,
l got to study tonight.
- Yes, sir. - How you doing down there?
lm doing fine. Thank you very much. Very well.
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Say, thanks for dinner.
l think we should do it right away.
Sisk, may we have some more coffee, please?
And now for your hat, sir.
The homburg or the bowler,
or something that makes more of a statement?
Whatever you say. Why have l got so many of these sailor outfits?
Sir, you have always fancied the sea.
- Do l sail? - Not really, sir.
Helen Rich from The Times. l have a petition from Pagglesham.
Do you plan to do anything?
Were considering it. We have to be going. Excuse us.
ls it true that the new factories will displace 1 1 communities?
- ls it that many? - They granted permits, didnt they?
- l guess so, if we got em. - How did you get those permits?
Beats me. l guess we bribed somebody.
- Hes joking. - Funny.
Really, we must be going.
- What about Acrilonitrile? - What about what?
The toxic substance released by the plastic bottles you market,
despite the lawsuit forcing you to delay until the effects are tested.
- We really must go. - lve been studying this thing.
lve got it figured out, so come and see whats going on yourselves.
- You cant have outsiders... - Sure we can. Come in, everybody.
ls he kidding?
Hi. How you doing, everybody?
These people are newspaper reporters.
l thought it would be good if they saw how we did things.
This is a very dangerous precedent.
We have a full agenda today already. We dont have time for a press...
ls it true that an accident in your nuclear plant
could stimulate seismic activity in the San Andreas Fault,
and destroy most of southern California?
l think youd have to define destroy.
Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, ld like to make something clear.
The Exo-Grey nuclear facility has a foolproof
built-in safety system that guarantees no danger of any kind.
Thats rubbish.
lf theres no danger, why are we in a lawsuit?
lts a protest, not a lawsuit.
The point is were doing something wrong.
Everybodys suing us. We got a lawsuit from a refinery...
...a nuclear lawsuit, a guy named Porpoise is suing us.
Mr Farnsworth, thats an ecological suit
against our canning factory for destroying porpoises.
- For Gods sake, he knows that. - We can porpoises?
Our San Diego fleet...
As everybody knows, we can tuna,
and in netting the tuna, we kill a number of porpoises.
Since theyre mammals of alleged high intelligence,
theres been an outcry.
Yeah, well... Yeah... Yeah.
l would just like to ask you a question.
- Why is he bringing the press here? - You know Leo Farnsworth.
- Maybe l dont know him. - Exactly.
We have responsibility to thousands of shareholders
of moderate means, less well off than the ecological groups fighting us.
lf we were a football team, would you call this a winning season?
l havent the faintest...
just generally. Would you say we got a winning season?
On balance, weve had an extremely good year.
Weve got a winning season.
What do you do when youre ahead?
- l dont know what you want. - You dont make mistakes.
You dont gamble unnecessarily. You protect your lead.
You dont pass from your own end. You make sure nobody gets hurt.
You got to use these guys in the next game.
We won this game. We got to stay in shape for the rest of the game.
lts like when everybody was supposed to stop eating grapes.
l didnt because l like grapes. A lot of guys will keep eating tuna.
What if we had a good-guy tuna company on the porpoise team?
A lot of guys would buy that so their kids wouldnt get mad at them.
l dont think theyre taking into account the expense.
We dont care how much it costs, just how much it makes.
lf it costs too much, we charge a penny more.
Would you pay more to save a fish who thinks?
- Thats not bad. - We handle all lawsuits that way.
Let other teams build plants in the wrong places.
Let the other quarterback throw a gurgle
so newspapers get hold of it and stockholders dont like it.
Lets be the team that makes the rules, plays fair,
that gets the best contract, thats popular.
Forget these nuclear power plants until we know theyre safe.
That Pagglesham refinery, well have to relocate it.
ltll cost us $35 million, but we dont care,
because well come out ahead in the end.
That plastic stuff were making, well have to stop.
Were not here for just one game.
Were going all the way to the Super Bowl!
And well already have won!
- Hi. How you doing? - Fine, thank you. Very well....
Whats happening?
..give the Rams advantage through the playoffs.
The Super Bowl is set for the Coliseum.
lf he werent going to be dead soon, hed need years of psychiatric help.
Lets do it tonight.
The Rams will probably face Dallas in the opening round. lf they win...
- Mr Pendleton. - Hey!
Am l glad to see you. Line up any bodies yet?
We havent got a lot of time. lf...
..and only four measly field goals...
Hi. l... lm just...
- Whats up? - Some interesting probabilities.
l kept my word to Betty Logan. Did you find a body in good shape?
l want to see some bodies.
..someone who can throw. The Super Bowls coming up.
You must have checked out a lot of bodies...
- Who is it? - lts Sisk, sir.
Come in, Sisk.
Sorry to disturb you, Mr Farnsworth, but Miss Logan is downstairs
and asks if she might have a moment of your time.
- Tell her lll be right down. - Very good, sir.
Do you...? Do you wish the door closed, sir?
Closed is fine. Thank you.
Do your best. l gotta find out what she wants.
l dont know what you must think of me after my behaviour,
but l feel l must tell you what an extraordinary thing you did today.
- Really quite extraordinary. - You dont have to say...
- Because l... - lts...
You know what? You look a little pale. You want something to eat?
- Well... - lll be right back.
Bentley. Everett. Miss Logans going to have dinner with us.
Whip up a liver and whey shake. Where you going?
Oh, l thought...
You thought l meant to go out. Sisk, were going out. Come on.
Bentley! Everett! Were going out and eat. Good idea.
- Which hat would you prefer? - Look, l dont want a hat.
lm sick of hats. Dont show me any more hats. Understand?
Yes, sir. No more hats.
- Do you eat here often? - Are you...? Now, look...
l just didnt think youd want people to see you out with a guy like me.
l see.
Pick up 2 4. Pick up 28.
lm sorry. l just cant stop staring at you.
l seem to be staring at you, too.
Even when l was trying to hate you, l saw something else.
- Something... - What?
ln your eyes. Does that sound silly?
When you see that, it doesnt matter who a person is or anything.
What is it?
This isnt what l thought was going to happen to me.
Listen, l got to talk to somebody right away.
Would you mind if l took you home?
- Good night. - Good night.
By the way, lm getting a divorce.
But youre not even separated.
Sure we are. lts a big house.
- How you doing, Bentley? - Fine, sir.
l dont want that body we talked about.
Something happened tonight...
This is an outrage.
Weve gone to enormous difficulty to find an athlete.
l wanted it, but something happened with Betty Logan and now l dont.
lll get Farnsworth into shape.
lll get Corkle to help me.
- Back in there? - Oh, yes.
l can do it. l know more about getting into shape than anybody.
- So hold up on that body. - Hold up?
Tell Mr jordan not to worry about it. Thank him.
lm sorry, l want to get into shape with this body.
You leave me speechless. l have nothing to say to that.
l cant even think how to retort
to something as ridiculous as turning down a body
weve gone to such extremes to find.
An athlete in prime condition. What can l say?
What do l do with his cocoa?
l dont want to disturb him, but dare l let it get cold?
l notice there are two cups.
Sisk felt since he was pretending to talk to somebody,
he might want to pretend to give him cocoa, too.
How you doing, Everett? How you doing, Bentley?
Hurry up. Wait a minute. just a minute, please. All right.
Sorry to bother you, but we dont love each other. Lets get divorced.
- l dont know what youre saying. - Come on. Yes, you do.
Abbott, theres a trainer for the Rams named Max Corkle.
Could you call and ask him to come see me?
- Yes, Mr Farnsworth. - Thank you. Good night.
You idiot! You idiot! Why did you answer him?
l couldnt resist. His will is too strong.
Thats our weekend forecast. Now heres tonights sports.
Leach and Char will have to...
Hes dead. lts over with.
At last, at last. At last, my dearest.
lts incredible.
Yes! just a minute. Yes! Yes, Sisk.
And, Abbott, Corkles number is 654-1 654. All right?
- Yes, Mr Farnsworth. - OK.
Oh, my God.
Right this way.
Mr Farnsworth is waiting for you in the ballroom. Follow me, please.
- Mr Corkle, sir. - Max. How you doing?
Fine.
- Lost a little weight, huh? - Have we met?
Sort of, yeah. Thanks, Sisk.
l hear you got all joe Pendletons athletic equipment.
Yeah. How dyou know that?
ld like to buy it. ld like to bring it in here.
No, lm sorry, Mr Farnsworth. Thats not for sale.
What do you want it for?
lve got to get in shape. ld like you to help me train.
- Train? - Yeah. As soon as lm ready...
l want you to get me a tryout with the Rams.
- What are you trying out for? - Quarterback.
Quarterback?
The point is, Mr Farnsworth,
we already got a quarterback working with the team.
We got a couple of pretty good backups.
You call Hodges good, huh?
The point is we dont need a quarterback.
Why dont you try another team?
The Oakland Raiders are close. Give them a call.
l want to play quarterback and get in shape for the Super Bowl.
What would it cost to try out?
Look, Mr Farnsworth, no team wants a crazy trainer,
and only a crazy trainer would arrange a tryout for you.
You keep your money, lll keep my job,
and well keep this little misunderstanding to ourselves.
Thats all right, lll finish that up.
What would you say if l told you l was a professional football player?
- These... These are nice. - Max, you know how people die?
Yeah. Why?
And after they die, they go to heaven?
l guess, if theyre good. l mean, why not?
You know how it works in heaven?
- Not exactly. - lts probability and outcome.
l never knew that.
Say theres a probability that some guys going to die.
An escort from his way station gets a signal.
He goes down and waits for the outcome.
lf the guy lives, the escort wasted a trip.
lf he dies, he takes him back to his way station.
He puts him in line for his final destination. You follow?
Mind if l smoke?
Go ahead. Lets say theres a new escort. He gets a signal.
He takes off and sees a guy riding a bicycle into a tunnel.
The cars coming the other way, the escorts supposed to wait,
but hes new and figures the guys a goner.
He figures, why should l have the car hit him?
Why not take him out a few seconds early
and take him up to his way station?
- Listen, l need a match. - That clock, thats a lighter.
So the guy he takes up to the way station isnt just some ordinary guy.
Hes an athlete with fantastic reflexes.
He wouldnt have hit the car at all.
- How do you light this? - There.
The guy wasnt really dead.
His number wasnt up for years. He would have missed the car.
No kidding? ls this lighter right?
Theyre supposed to put him back in his body, but hes been cremated.
- They have to find another body. - Look, Mr Farnsworth.
lm just a trainer. What you need is a really good doctor.
- Dont you understand? - Sure. Thats a hell of a story.
Mr jordan, lm so glad to see you!
lm trying to get Farnsworth into shape.
- l want Corkle to help. - Who are you talking to?
Mr jordan. He runs the way station.
You cant see him. Youre still alive.
You two probably got a lot to talk about. lll be on my way.
- Wait a second, Max. - Tell him who you are, joe.
Hell never believe me, you tell him.
Hes the only person who can get me a tryout with the Rams.
You can make him believe you.
- Look at me. - Mr Farnsworth...
Max! lm not Farnsworth. lm joe Pendleton.
Farnsworths wife and secretary murdered him.
This is a body they found for me.
They drugged him, then l stepped in.
lts not bad material. l can get it into shape.
- l dont want to hear any more. - Max, please.
l want to get out of here.
l wont tell a word to anybody. l promise. ltll be our little secret.
A secret? Like your sister and the Coca-Cola salesman?
- What about the scar on your tongue? - How did you...?
What did you do at your uncles wedding?
What about the first time l fixed your neck in Pittsburgh?
Now do you believe me, Max? Please say you believe me.
They dont have a team in heaven, so God couldnt make me first-string.
He doesnt believe me.
Try a little music. Thats a great persuader.
joe, you never could play that thing.
You all right, Max? You all right?
Bentley! Whip up a liver and whey shake right away!
lm gonna play in the Super Bowl.
Thats whats coming to me.
lf thats what youve got coming.
- Hes still here? - Right there.
Listen to me. Farnsworth isnt in bad shape.
l still know the moves. just help me with the body.
Thanks, Mr jordan.
Sisk! How about that liver and whey shake? Hurry up.
- l need it for Mr Corkle. - Yes, sir. Right away.
l want the whole staff to suit up. Were going into training.
Listen, Mr...jordan, is it?
You still there?
Any time you want to chime in... why, just feel free.
Feel free. lm telling you to feel free!
You got to help me talk joe out of this.
lf l get him a tryout,
that team will put him out of commission like that.
Christ, l cant even snap my fingers any more. Sorry.
Hes not there. Dont get crazy. lm counting on you.
This isnt going to work.
Were fooling with the Rams.
lts just... Well, all right.
lm still figuring out what lll say.
Youre playing football with a bunch of butlers.
- This isnt gonna work! - l fixed all that.
- How? - l bought the Rams.
Leo Farnsworth has bought this team, and he wants to play quarterback.
- Shit! - Crazy son of a bitch.
Bullshit!
Wait a minute. This is the way it is.
Hell play quarterback in Wednesdays scrimmage.
At which time, the coach will decide
whether hes qualified for the job or not.
Mr Farnsworth says, Tell no one to hold back.
These were his words, l quote,
Play that scrimmage like the Super Bowl.
- Take him at his word. - Lets kill him.
My team. That son of a bitch got my team.
What kind of pressure did he use, Milt?
Well, l asked for 67 million, and he said OK.
Ruthless bastard.
Well, very, very nice. Very, very, impressive.
lm Tony Abbott, Mr Farnsworths personal private executive secretary.
Very nice. Very...very nice.
Dont let any of Mr Farnsworths racial statements offend you.
Nice talking to you.
Get rid of that ball fast, all right?
Good luck, Mr Farnsworth.
Dont worry about the plays. l got them down last night.
l want to run a split right, X-go, Z-curl, a Y-straight.
Like the Super Bowl. Break.
- Ready? Break. - Tighten it up.
Look at em.
Thats how they look when they eat.
- Look out. - 4-3, set!
2-85...2-85!
Sorry, Mr Farnsworth.
- Nice. - Lets try it again, Mr Farnsworth.
OK, lets go! Lets go!
Try it with the ball! Come on, positions!
- Playing football is so much fun. - Try this time.
- Set! - Come on now!
2-81 !
lm terribly sorry, Mr Farnsworth. This is really embarrassing.
l guess you went offsides.
Come on, guys, get him, get him!
Give me a little more room, Billy.
Lets all try and stay onsides.
- Better get a stretcher. - jesus!
Hes an eccentric. Weve always known that.
Buying a football team for 67 million that has a book value of 1 9?
Three weeks ago, the stock was selling at 56.
This morning it opened at 1 4.
- You want a rest, Mr Farnsworth? - No, its OK.
Mr Farnsworth is taking the Rams to the Super Bowl as a quarterback.
No sign of aberration in his behaviour?
Nothing in his personal life bothering him?
That statement speaks for itself.
All right, lm going to save you guys some trouble.
Want me to quit? Give me the ball once.
lf l dont hit Evans, lll quit. Ready?
Look out!
On three! Set!
Beautiful!
Theres a potential there! Hes...
- Take it easy. - l know.
- Shit, man, what you doing? - Whats he doing?
Ready? Break.
Red right, red right. Watch the pass.
Not bad.
l think we got us a rich quarterback.
Hes looking awful good.
Boy, you pulled it off.
Yeah? l dont know. l think l can do it.
Mr Farnsworth, play any college ball?
No. l played a little polo.
Look, hes posing with the whole football team.
Thats not a football team.
There are old men and skinny younger men.
Look at the women.
Thats the ecology group Exo-Grey is funding.
Hes getting ready to spring a trap. This whole thing.
The football team gag, the ecology crap, the divorce...
He hasnt announced is our divorce and when he does,
lll be the first suspect when we kill him.
Darling, perhaps lm being silly, but ld be more comfortable...
Have l offended you in some way?
Dont put your hand over my mouth.
- You used to like it. - lf we dont act now, well lose it.
l was mad to sign a prenuptial agreement.
lll get an allowance. Youll be fired.
- Well have each other. - Not after he brings charges...
Dont try it!
Want to make a wish?
- Yes. - All right. There.
- Go ahead. - Very good.
Do you think its silly, trying to be a football player?
Of course not. Thats what you want.
- You think l can do it? - You can do anything you want to.
Anything you committed yourself to do, you could do.
Because lm a big wheel at Exo-Grey?
- Youre not afraid of things. - Afraid of things? Why would l be?
You know, most people are afraid of something, arent they?
You want to know the only thing lm afraid of?
How ld feel if l couldnt be with you.
Then theres nothing to be afraid of, is there?
- Got to go. - Wait a minute. l...
How would you feel about marrying me?
- lts crazy? - No, it doesnt sound crazy.
- You know, if l... - What is it? What is it?
Could you wait here? lll be right back.
- What do you want? - lm sorry, Mr Pendleton.
You wont be able to use Mr Farnsworths body any longer.
What are you talking about?
just what l said. Your time is up.
You said ld get to the Super Bowl.
Whatever you do, it wont be with Mr Farnsworths body.
- Why not? - lt wasnt meant to be.
- Why not? - Stop saying that!
l wont pay for your mistake.
- Look, Mr Pendleton... - lm not talking to you.
ld like to talk to Mr jordan.
Well settle this once and for all. Get out of here. Youre bad news.
ls something wrong?
l just got to straighten something out.
Maybe l better walk you to the car.
Something is wrong, isnt it?
- l was just thinking, Betty. - What?
We got a great life ahead, you and me,
and nobodys going to take that away from us.
Why are you looking at me like that?
lm memorising your face. l want to memorise everything about you
so no matter what happens, l wont forget you.
- Whats going to happen? - Nothings going to happen.
Youd never forget me either, would you?
That thing you said you saw in me. Something in my eyes, remember?
lf some day somebody came up to you, maybe a football player,
and he acted like hed seen you before,
youd notice that same thing, right?
Youd give him a chance? He might be a good guy.
- He could even be a quarterback. - l dont understand.
lm just acting crazy.
lts all right. Theres nothing to be afraid of.
- You must abide by what is written. - Why?
Theres a reason for everything. Theres always a plan.
- How can l give up Farnsworth now? - lm sorry, joe.
- You said ld get to the Super Bowl. - Yes, if its meant to be.
- lm not leaving. - Sorry.
lm not leaving, Mr jordan.
joe, you asked for a temporary arrangement.
l never went back on a deal, but l am now. lm not going.
Your destiny is not in my hands. Please dont make it more difficult.
l wont. lm just not going to do it.
- You must abide by what is written. - She loves me, Mr jordan.
You must abide by what is written.
- Have you seen Mr Farnsworth? - No, sir, l havent.
- Guess lll just keep looking. - Yes, sir.
joe, you in here?
Are you in there, Mr Farnsworth?
Listen, Your Highness, lm telling you what l told the mayor last week.
By the end of the week, lll crack this case.
Right. Another Arab.
Son of a bitch Farnsworth was into everything,
and now hes vanished, disappeared.
This is the craziest nut lve ever dealt with.
He wasnt fooling around. lf he was alive, hed be here.
Youre asking me to believe Leo Farnsworth asked you to marry him?
Yes. He was going to get a divorce.
When l left, he said hed call me, but something happened.
- How do you know? - Because he didnt call me.
He would have kept his word.
With less than 2 4 hours before the big game,
the whereabouts of Leo Farnsworth remains a mystery.
Farnsworth said his wife and Tony Abbott were trying to kill him.
Let me spring it on Abbott, l can make him crack.
Take Corkle to the Farnsworth house.
The game!
lf you win this one, youre going to be champions of the world.
And they can take away the money and the cheers.
They can take away the good looks,
but nobody will ever take that away from you.
Lets go.
Let me get this straight.
You saw no specific changes in Mr Farnsworths behaviour?
No, sir. A bit more talkative, but other than that, normal.
And thats your opinion, too, Mr Sisk?
Yes. l did notice he seemed to take a dislike to his hats,
but it was never violent.
Ask me whatever you want...?
- Mr Corkle, please. Mr Everett? - Yes?
- You had cocoa with him every night. - Yes.
What did you talk about?
Well, hed say something like,
This cocoa is good, isnt it?
And ld say, Yes, it is.
And then hed say something like,
l wish the marshmallow would last longer.
And ld say, So do l.
Sometimes he talked about cookies.
Thank you, Mr Everett. Did he mention disliking his hats?
What the hell is this? What does it matter?
lm following a line of questioning.
Please. Mr Everett, did he ever say anything to you about his hats?
- Never, sir. - Thank you, Mr Everett.
Mr Abbott, what did you discuss the last time you saw him?
He was considering buying Haiti.
- The country? - Yes, sir.
Thank you, Mr Abbott. Nothing about hats?
- No. - Thank you, Mr Abbott.
Mrs Farnsworth, how was your relationship with your husband?
Very, very close. Very, very special.
Miss Logan claims he was getting a divorce
and he asked her to marry him.
l dont doubt that.
My husband loved me very much, but he was a man.
He would say or do anything to make a conquest,
but it never touched our marriage. Thats what made it so special.
Theyre pinning it on Betty.
Miss Logan, l am sorry if lve said anything thats hurt you.
l dont know you well enough for you to hurt me.
- l hope you dont doubt my word. - l dont, lm sure youre lying.
l assume if Mr Farnsworth told you
about disliking his hats, youd let us know.
You want to know about his hats? He wouldnt wear socks with a suit!
Every time he crossed his legs, you could see his ankles were bare!
Thats when he stopped wearing hats. They looked funny without socks!
But he never told you he disliked them.
- What? - His hats.
Are you crazy? What kind of questions are you asking?
All right. Sit down. Conway, turn that thing on.
- Let him watch the game. - Everything will be all right.
Were getting a clearer picture of Mr Farnsworths patterns.
Theres a reason for everything. Theres got to be.
lts a demanding defence.
You dont need to worry about her.
Tom Jarrett, the Rams quarterback, back to pass.
Looking, scrambling. Hes in trouble. And hes hit hard! Down he goes!
Youre telling me
that Mr Farnsworth never carried any money
or credit cards, right? And no identification papers?
- Right, sir. Yes. - Then what we have here...
The score, 2 4-2 4. Overtime.
The way he was hit, Tom Jarrett is hurt.
We can see the Ram players are concerned,
theyre calling for the stretcher. Jarrett has not moved.
ltll be a miracle, frankly, and l hope hes well.
lt doesnt look good.
They order Jerry Hodges to start warming up on the sidelines.
The Pittsburgh defence has been brilliant.
Theyve stopped the Rams...
The Haitian ambassadors here.
- Oh, yes. Thank you, Sisk. - Tell him to wait.
Who do you think you are? You call this an investigation!
- Now, Corkle! - Your men standing around watching!
Howd you do it this time? Drug him like before?
Lieutenant, l will not be spoken to in this way in my house.
Why did it have to be jarrett?
Because its his time, joe. lts his destiny.
- Look at the pupils! - Bill! Get that ambulance!
- Jarret comes back into the game. - joe!
Oh, my God! lts his jacket!
So its you, Mr Abbott!
l should have known l couldnt trust you.
- Heres your murderer! - She did it!
lll confess she did it! Shes been planning it for years!
- Corkle, where are you going? - To the Coliseum.
- lm conducting an investigation. - lm going.
Take this investigation and shove it up your ass!
lts sudden death! The crowds delirious!
Jarrett was sacked hard. Hes getting up. Hes OK.
A remarkable comeback by Jarrett. The first team that scores, wins...
Were number one! Were number one!
- Hi, Max. - l am right, it is you, isnt it?
l knew it! l knew it!
l was watching the TV, and l said, Thats him!
The Rams are champions!
Heres the star, Tom jarrett. He led his team to victory.
- How do you feel? - Good.
Describe your feelings.
- World champions! - l... l feel good.
l have to go now, joe. lts time. l cant stay here any longer.
- What do you mean? - How does it feel to be Tom jarrett?
And when lve gone, you wont remember me.
Youll be Thomas jarrett with no memory of joe Pendleton,
or Leo Farnsworth or anything thats happened.
This is your destiny, joe. Youre back on your own road now.
- What do you mean, l wont remember? - Goodbye, joe.
Theres a lot of confusion.
- Wait. l got to talk to you. Wait. - Goodbye.
Congratulations. Here he is, Coach...
You OK, Tom? You OK?
Heres Lamar Crawford, the man who caught one of those key passes.
lm just happy that we won.
ln September, l told you the beginning of this season!
Hey, Benny! Hey, joe! Uh, Tom!
- Hey, Doc. Did Tom leave? - Hes putting some ice on his eye.
Hell be all right. Thats something about Farnsworth.
- Poor son of a bitch. - Yeah...
Corkle. What are you doing, closing up the joint?
l didnt know you played that thing.
- What are you talking about? - ls that yours?
What are you talking about?
- What? - You know what l mean.
l mean, what are you talking about, joe?
Am l missing something?
Come on. What are you trying to do to me, huh?
lm the guy that got hit in the head. You sure youre all right, Corkle?
Play something for me on this thing, huh?
Thats the way it is with champagne, huh?
You just keep swallowing it cause it doesnt taste like anything,
and all of a sudden, youre drunk.
You going to the party, Corkle? lll give you a ride.
A little fresh air wouldnt hurt.
Look, just do me one favour. Look at me.
- just look at me. - What?
You want to tell me why youre calling me joe?
l guess it has something to do with joe Pendleton.
lm sorry. l didnt think, Corkle.
You dont want a ride?
No, lll just... lm going to sit here for a minute.
Hey, son, you... You played a hell of a game.
Thanks, Corkle. You all right?
Excuse me. Where might l find Max Corkle?
- l believe hes here somewhere. - Hes in the locker room.
Go back up the way you came,
or go back and take a right and then a left.
- lts the second door on the right. - l see. Thank you. Thank you.
Hes not expecting me. Can l just walk in?
Sure. Hes the only guy in there.
- Have we met? - No. l dont think so.
No, l guess we havent. lm sorry.
- What did you think of the game? - l didnt see it.
Does your eye hurt?
No, no, l... Listen, my names Tom jarrett.
- Hello. lm Betty Logan. - Yeah. lts nice to meet you.
- You must play for the Rams. - Yeah. You interested in football?
- A friend of mine was. - Was?
Leo Farnsworth.
- lm sorry. Was he a close friend? - Yes, he was very close.
- Thats too bad. lm sorry. - Have you put some ice on that?
- Whats that? - Theyre just closing up the place.
Here, give me your hand.
Theres nothing to be afraid of.
- What did you say? - What?
When you said Theres nothing to be afraid of,
your voice sounded so familiar.
Well, like l said, l thought l knew you, too.
People always think they knew somebody before.
Yes, they do.
l was going to meet a bunch of people, have a party...
- lm a little late. - lm sorry.
No, no, no...
All of a sudden, l dont feel like going to a party,
and l thought maybe if... l mean...
You want to have a cup of coffee or something?
Well, l guess not.
Youre the quarterback.
Yeah. Howd you know that?
Yes, ld love to have a cup of coffee with you.
ENGLlSH