HAPPY MUSIC PLAYS
[Waitress:] Let me know if you need anything else.
HARRY Oh, sure, thanks.
DOOR OPENS
[Larry:] Brother Harry! What's good?
[Harry:] What's up, Larry?
[Larry:] Didja get it?
Let me see it.
Stop playing, let me see the real one.
HARRY: That is the real one.
LARRY: That s it?
HARRY: Yeah, that's it.
LARRY That s kinda small.
C'mon big bro!
Size matters.
But that s all I can afford.
I'm playing. I love it.
I love the little diamonds on the side to make that...
little centerpiece a lot bigger than it actually is.
It's like an illusion. It's like Magic Eye or something.
What?!
[Larry:] Look, If a girl trips about the ring...
she's probably shallow and she's really not worth it, right?
[Larry:] Okay, I gotta bounce.
Have fun in Vegas!
Don t be nervous.
She's gonna say yes.
This ring is really cute.
Stay focused, alright? Stay focused!
DOOR CLOSES
ACTION MUSIC PLAYS
[John:] And cut!
ANITA: Good job guys!
HAPPY MUSIC PLAYS
JOHN (O.S.) Hey, Anita!
ANITA: Hi, John.
JOHN: Great job today.
ANITA: Thanks.
JOHN: How s Harry doing?
We miss him here.
ANITA: He s good.
He's just busy writing.
JOHN: Oh yeah? Is it done yet?
I'm waiting for my copy.
ANITA: Almost.
It's still a rough draft.
JOHN: Well, tell him I m ready to...
shoot whenever he s finished writing it, okay?
ANITA: I will.
Thanks for the encouragement!
JOHN: Sure.
Hey, Happy birthday!
And have fun in Vegas, okay?
ANITA: Alright, see you next week John!
MUSIC RESUMES
HARRY: Hi, baby!
[Anita:] Hi!
[Harry:] How was your day, my castle?
[Anita:] Excellent!
[Anita:] They got me a birthday cake!
[Harry:] Nice!
[Anita:] So what'd you do today?
[Harry:] The usual. Writing at the coffee shop.
Larry stopped by.
[Anita:] Cool.
Oh, by the way, John says hi!
[Harry:] Oh?
[Anita:] He says he s ready to shoot when you re done...
with your script.
[Harry:] Have you read it?
[Anita:] I did.
[Harry:] What did you think?
[Anita:] Well, I...
CELL PHONE RINGS
[Anita:] My Dad's calling.
Hi dad!
MR. LEE (over the phone) Princess Anita!
ANITA (in Chinese) Your princess is on her way!
We just left.
See you soon.
ANITA (in English) Love you, bye!
Are you sure you're ready to meet my family?
[Harry:] Ready or not here I come!!!
MUSIC PLAYS
CELL PHONE RINGS
ANITA (into the phone) I'm only halfway there.
CELL PHONE RINGS
ANITA (into the phone) Go ahead and eat without us.
CELL PHONE RINGS
ANITA (into the phone) Don t wait up, dad.
I'll see you in the morning, k?
[Harry:] I think we're here, baby.
I think we re here, babeptz.
Finally.
Thanks for driving, baby.
No problem.
[Anita:] Woah, really?
[Harry:] What?
[Anita:] Nothing.
My dad just called a few times.
[Harry:] Okay...
[Harry:] I hope your parents like Korean Barbecue.
[Anita:] Who doesn t like Korean BBQ?!
[Harry:] Right.
I think my parents have the same exact Italian furniture.
No way!
No, seriously!
What is it about Asians and Italian furniture?
[Both:] I don't know!
LAUGHTER
Shhhh!
Everyone's sleeping.
Oh.
We're gonna have to get a lot of tonight!
It s gonna be a hectic weekend.
Is this where we sleep?
DOOR OPENS
MR. LEE No!
This is definitely not where you sleep!
Hi Dad.
I thought you were asleep.
[Anita:] Dad, this is Harry.
Hi Mr. Lee!
You! Go there!
Good night.
ANITA Good night...
BIRDS CHIRPING
FUNNY MUSIC PLAYS
HARRY: Hello...
Oh!
You must be Warren.
WARREN: Yeah and who the hell are you...
and why are you sleeping in my bed?
I'm Harry.
[Warren:] Why are you sleeping in my bed, Harry?
[Harry:] Anita told me I could sleep here.
What?
Who are you again?
Anita s boyfriend, Harry.
[Warren:] Oh!
Anita s here?
Anita has a boyfriend?
Oh shoot, it s her birthday!
CLOSET OPENS
Yo, get out of my bed!
I m sorry.
I didn t get much sleep last night.
[Lisa:] Come on.
GIGGLING
BOUNCY MUSIC PLAYS
[Anita:] Good morning.
[Harry:] Good morning.
EVERYONE Good morning!!!
[Anita:] Mom, this is Harry.
MRS. LEE: Hello, Harry.
HARRY Hi.
Wow.
Now I see where Anita gets her looks from.
[Mrs. Lee:] He so charming!
So, you lawyer? Doctor?
[Anita:] Mom!
She s just kidding.
I just kidding.
Joking with you! Don't be so serious!
[Mrs. Lee] Your face red like a little boy.
Be a man!
So! You lawyer? Doctor?
[Anita:] Just ignore her.
Okay, this is my sister Lisa and her son,
Christian.
[Harry:] Lisa, it's nice to finally meet you.
I ve heard so many nice things.
LISA: Really?
Thank you, Harry.
Did you get some good sleep?
I hope Warren didn t wake you?
He s usually at the dorms.
I slept fine, thank you!
[Harry:] Wow! Handsome kid!
Do you mind if I hold him?
Sure! Are you good with kids?
I'm okay.
LOUD PUNCH
SCREAM OF PAIN
[Lisa:] Christian!
I'm so sorry! Are you okay?
[Lisa:] We do NOT hit people in the face!
[Anita:] Honey, are you alright?
[Harry:] I m okay.
[Tyson:] Good morning.
[Lisa:] Hi honey. How was work?
[Tyson:] Good.
[Lisa:] Okay, let s eat.
Okay, I'll change.
[Anita:] Did you sleep okay, Chef Boyar-Lee?
[Mr. Lee:] Good morning, Princess Anita!
[Anita:] Wow.
Cook all morning just for me?!
[Mr. Lee:] I cook just for my princess!
What you like? I cook for you in five minutes!
ANITA 5 minute? So fast!
Like magic!
HARRY AWKWARDLY LAUGHS
[Harry:] Good morning, Mr. Lee.
I hope you like Korean BBQ.
The finest Wagyu beef from Australia.
[Anita:] He doesn t speak Chinese.
[Mr. Lee:] What do you mean he doesn t speak Chinese?
[Mrs. Lee:] His parents didn t teach him Chinese?
[Mr. Lee:] What kind of parents don t teach their kids Chinese?
[Anita:] Korean parents.
[Mr. and Mrs. Lee:] Korean?
[Mrs. Lee:] He is Korean!?
You say his last name Ho.
[Harry:] Actually, it s supposed to be OH. Someone at the...
immigration mixed up the spelling when we came to...
America and I got tired of correcting them.
[Anita:] So he goes by Harry Ho.
Your name is Harry Ho?
I dunno why my daughters no like Chinese.
Are there not any good Chinese boys left?
MR. LEE One marries a Filipino...
and the other bring home a Korean cowboy!
[Mrs. Lee:] Lisa like adobo and Anita like kimchi.
[Tyson:] Adobo?
Did she just say adobo?
Adobo sounds good right now.
Where are the good Chinese Doctors?!?!
[Anita:] Dad, where are you going?
[Mr.Lee:] Chao s!
[Lisa:] Right now?
[Anita:] Dad!
[Mrs. Lee:] Don t worry!
He okay. No problem.
Eat!
I gotta go. I m gonna be late for work.
Bye.
See you guys later.
MR. CHAO: (Speaking Chinese)
(in English) Did you eat?
[Mr.Lee:] I m not hungry.
I came here to drop this off.
[Mr.Chao:] (in Chinese) Thank you.
[Mr. Lee:] How s your Lobster this weekend?
Fresh!
I ll put it up before the party!
She's very famous you know!
Of course, I know.
She's one of the Power Raiders!
The PINK one!
Is she married?
I could make arrangements.
You like doctors?
Doctors?
How about those lobsters?
No! I cannot do it.
Do what?
I didn t say nothing.
I know you.
If I do it for you, I have to do it for everybody else.
I ll tell my daughter to sign the picture tomorrow.
No thank you, no no, no need.
No discount!
I give you best price already.
[Mr. Lee:] Okay okay...
Free lobster just for our table.
Okay?!
Free?! Again!?
Anita!
I like foot massage.
I know a good place.
Owner give me best service!
I m VIP!
[Anita:] Okay.
Let's go and get VIP treatment then!
[Anita:] Babe, I m getting a foot massage with mom.
Okay?!
[Tyson:] I m sorry about the nose.
Christian usually behaves well.
[Harry:] It s okay.
Kids don t know what they are doing.
Ya know,I brought my clubs if you golf.
No, no, I don t golf.
I can break dance though!
HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYS
What?
Still got it even after having a baby!
Wow! Really? Where?
In the garage, I put out the mat and practice...
turtles, flares, windmills...
Hey, I even got some headspins...
Wow...
I grew up with the jabawokees and supercrew...
before they blew up.
Huh. That is pretty funny.
TYSON LAUGHS
[Harry:] I can still pop lock a little bit.
Yeah, but I prefer golf.
Man, you Koreans love golf and spicy food.
But hey, if I can teach a Jabawokee...
I could definitely teach you some moves.
[Harry:] But I still got some of this though.
DORKY MUSIC PLAYS
[Tyson:] Alright, that's enough, that's something...
That s enough.
Just throw your hands in the air.
HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYS
[Tyson:] And, speed it up, and faster! Too fast...
DOOR OPENS
[Mr. Lee:] Why you here?
I thought you live in dorm.
[Warren:] Good morning to you too, Dad.
I just stopped by to say happy birthday to Anita.
Oh yeah?
You a good brother!
Yeah.
Well, I gotta go now.
I have class.
[Mr. Lee:] Class on Saturday?
[Warren:] Lab for Organic Chemistry.
Chemical? Are you taking drugs?
No Dad!
[Warren:] It's a pre Med class.
How I know you not wasting your time with bad friends?
You can come with me.
[Mr. Lee:] I no send you to college so you making...
minimum wage.
Never, dad!
I'm not a loser!
Good.
[Mr. Lee:] Hey, listen.
The American dream.
Be a doctor.
Make a lot of money and marry a beautiful wife.
Yes! Yes!
And YES!
Doctor Warren Lee!
Make me proud and bring home a beautiful Chinese wife!
Yes sir!
Remember!
Chinese!!!
What s your script about, Harry?
[Harry:] Honestly, I don t even know, man.
I just hope it s all makes sense when I'm done with it.
[Tyson:] So when you finish writing the script?
What do you do?
Normally you gotta find funding but thankfully I have someone...
with money so I just gotta get it done.
Well that s convenient!
Blessed.
MR. LEE CHUCKLES
I found my notebook!!!
We gotta get outta here.
[Harry:] What?
[Mr. Lee:] Yeah...
[Mr. Lee:] Harry Ho!
[Harry:] What?
[Tyson:] Harry Ho?
[Harry:] Well actually it's Harry Oh.
[Mr. Lee:] Move over, Adobo.
And you follow me Harry Ho.
Daughter, what that sign you and Harry do all the time?
That's our love sign.
Love sign? Why sign when you can talk?
It's not always easy to say I love you in all
the chaos so Harry came up with I love you.
At anytime and anywhere.
Where you meet him?
At work.
Huh? He actor?
No, he s a writer.
He used to write for the show.
Oh, a good job
He doesn t work for the show anymore.
So, no job?!
He works for himself now.
That means no job!
[Mrs. Lee:] You bring home no job boy?
[Anita:] Calm down!
How can I calm down?
He have no job, how can he pay for you?
Mom!
MRS. LEE SIGHS.
CHINESE MUSIC PLAYS
BACK LOUDLY CRACKS
VIDEO GAME FIGHTING MUSIC PLAYS
GUNSHOT NOISES
Match point
Game.
[Harry:] Mr. Lee!
You re a great Ping Pong player.
I should practice more so we can play more.
Anita is very special to me and I love-
Don t tell me you love her.
just tell me what you like about her.
Uh...
[Mr. Lee:] I thought so.
Uh...
[Mr. Lee:] You re not Chinese?
No.
No. Okay. Lawyer? Doctor? Engineer?
No.
[Mr. Lee:] No...
Uh, college?
Santa Barbara.
No Harvard?
[Mr. Lee:] No Harvard.
Masters? Doctorate?
No masters. No doctorate.
DOOR CLOSES
Mom, I thought you wanted to get a foot massage,
Foot massage later. Now we have mother - daughter moment.
Can I skip this moment?
No!
You my daughter.
Anita, what you like about this Harry Ho?
A lot of things.
I love his heart. He s got a beautiful heart, mom.
Beautiful heart!?
Do you know your dad paid lot of money for me.
Ugh, not again.
To marry me.
He paid a lot of money...
to bring me to America.
Yes, mom.
You're a mail order bride.
Did I tell you how much money he pay?
How much? Like one million dollar?!
More! Everything he work for.
His whole life saving.
He even paid to bring my family to America.
Like your aunty Debbie, aunty Lulu, uncle Joe...
That s great mom.
Anita, you are Chinese.
Yes I am, but I m also American.
Your dad paid very good money for me.
So if this Harry Ho love you...
He should pay good money for you too!
I m not a cow mom, you can t just sell me off,
plus Harry is Korean.
It don t matter.
You are Chinese. It s your worth.
The more he pay, the more you worth.
Nobody pays dowrys anymore, mom, that's so 1900s.
What is my daughter worth to you, huh?
What kind of a question is that?
[Mr. Lee:] How much did you make on your W2 last year, huh?
He own house?
Ugh, this is getting too ridiculous.
He rent?!
I came all the way to Vegas for this, mom?!
Anita, you are thirty. Not young anymore, and not married!
But you are movie star!
So you still worth a lot of money.
ANITA GROANS
You have no respect!
No?
No!
Why?
Why you not tell me how much you make on W2 last year?!
[Anita:] He s a writer, dad!
Is he famous? What he write?
[Anita:] He's writing now! He used to write for my show.
It doesn t matter!
I don't know what you like about this guy?
But he s no good for my princess.
You are big movie star!
You could marry a good doctor.
A good doctor? What are you talking about?!
[Anita:] You guys need to stop watchingso much Korean drama!
[Mrs. Lee] Korean drama is real life.
You think it s fake.
It s real!
He has no future!
He s a talented writer.
He s gonna do great things.
People say a lot of things.
I no raise you to be so stupid.
[Anita:] You raised me to believe in people!
And to have a dream!
[Mr. Lee:] Dream for kids!
Well, this dreamer is on TV today!
Anita, you re a girl. It s different.
It s okay for girl to dream.
He a man. He need real job.
Like your brother. He gonna be a doctor.
This guy a broke writer.
So many broke people here! This guy broke writer. No good job!
Look at Tyson. Broke valet. Work night shift!
Hey guys, I'm right here!
[Anita:] Leave Tyson alone, mom.
It's true, he park cars!
You deserve better.
Dad, I love him.
Love?
How much he gonna pay for this love?
Don't make fun.
Dad!
You know what it means to me for you to give him a chance.
Just get to know him and make a decision after this weekend.
What if we still don t like him?
Then...
Then you listen to us! Okay!
We give him a chance.
We give him chance.
No problem!
[Anita:] Dad?!
BASS MUSIC PLAYS
[Tyson:] You okay, Harry?
[Harry:] Uh, Yeah.
I have never been so humiliated in my life.
[Tyson:] Did he ask for your W2?
Get outta here! He asked for your W2?
[Tyson:] How about your parent s W2?
Get out! He asked for your parents W2?
[Tyson:] No, but he did ask if one of my parents was a nurse.
[Harry:] Are you serious?
[Tyson:] Yeah.
Are they?
Yeah!
LAUGHTER
They didn t even consider me Asian...
until Pacquiao started winning.
I am so sorry, man.
It s all good. I don t let it get to me.
At the end of the day their daughter comes home to me.
Why care more than I need to?
HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYS
POP MUSIC PLAYS
[Anita:] Mom and Dad are driving me crazy.
[Lisa:] Just relax, Mom and dad will give in...
as long as you don't give up! Just look at me!
[Tyson:] Harry s fine!
Who's ready for the show?
[Everyone:] Yeah!
[Lisa:] We have not gone out in a long time.
[Harry:] Hey. should we bring him flowers or something?!
LAUGHTER
[Lisa:] So cute!
[Anita:] So cute, honey I love you.
[Tyson:] It s cool.
[Anita:] I can't believe it! My baby brother!
Warren Lee!
So, how long has he been doing this?
[Lisa:] For a while now, I think.
[Anita:] And why didn t you tell me earlier?
[Lisa:] 'Cause, he didn't want anyone to know about it.
Besides, we just found out about it ourselves.
Don't tell Mom and Dad about this, okay?
[Anita:] I won't.
(rapping) I won't. I won't. I-I-I won't! I won't!
LOUD CONVERSATIONS
NOISE COMING FROM TELEVISION
KNOCKING
[Judge:] Everybody here?
Alright, you guys are our top eight finalists from videos...
and live auditions.
So everybody loosen up.
Get ready, go out there and bring your A game, aight?
And good luck!
RAPPER Yes sir.
HIGA What up?!?! What up?!?
My name is Higa!
Thanks for coming out.
We got serious talents here tonight!
The best MC s of Vegas battling it out til the end.
Survival of the fittest!
The winner will have his or her life changed forever!
Forever ever? Forever ever! Ever! Ever!
Now you all ready?
Let s bring em out!
Bring em out! Bring em out!
TYSON There he is!
HIGA In the first round each rapper will get one to spit.
Let the elimination begin.
Give me a beat DJ!
RAPPING AND APPLAUSE
HIGA: Congratulations to our last two men standing.
Ruckus!
Warren Lee!
In this last round each rapper will get two minutes to spit!
Gimme a beat, DJ!
HIP HOP BEAT STARTS
RUCKUS: Yeah, you mine, boy!
You mine! Right here, right now!
Yo! Yeah!
I know it's Asian Pacific out of your butt!
But right here right now, you get no respect you little chunk!
What's that I smell? Matter of fact, go take a dump!
And while you in there, stay on the potty!
You little shrimp! I'm Mister Hard Body!
Yo! Check out! I came to crush all y'all!
'Cause ya know what? You look like Tiger Woods!
And I'm the black David Duval!
A matter off act, I'm too tall!
On the court, you the Crip! Guess what?
I'm the doped out version of Will Smith!
Look out, here's the storm! The doped out Sean Puffy Combs!
I keep the black on black! Plus the chrome!
I see you gonna be owned!
What are ya doing here battling me?
Let's stop right here, right now!
Matter of fact, you wanna get all lyrically?
I'm bad, I'm back, and big!
WARREN (Rapping) Alright.
Check it. Everybody in the crowd make some noise!
LOUD APPLAUSE
WARREN (rapping) Yeah, okay!
You six feet something?
But I have you buring in the ground! Six feet something!
You can't jump it. You can't budge it.
He looks a little- Oh! That's the sound of him dunking!
You're better off trying to get a BA!
'Cause they won't want you in the NBA!
He's so dumb, couldn't be a PA!
And yeah, you fast, but your brian's got a slight delay!
It's not fair bro. Me against you?
Your raps stink man and so does your breath too!
Ya have to learn, but with you that's one less Deuce!
It's safe to say I'll beat the rest too!
Me and all my competition, where's the rest room?
Forget you, and hey!
So bring the press through!
Oh yeah, I'm gonna waste ya! These rhymes, these rhymes...
These rhymes are over!
CROWD GOES WILD
HIGA: Woo Wee!
That was some sick shit!
Who s it gonna be?
Is it gonna be Ruckus?
CROWD APPLAUDS.
HIGA: Make some noise!
DECENT APPLAUSE
HIGA: Or is it gonna be Warren Lee?
MUCH LOUDER APPLAUSE
HIGA: Wow.
We don t discriminate.
A unanimous decision.
Our winner for this year s Mic Fest is Warren Lee!
One year touring contract with PONY RECORDS...
and a $70,00 record deal.
How you feel, Warren Lee?
WARREN: Unexpected, actually!
I didn t think I was gonna win!
Yeah!!
HIGA: You re a confused fellow aren t you?
Anyway, thanks for coming out!
Enjoy the rest of your night, drink responsibly...
Peace!
CROWD GOES WILD
WARREN: Woah!
LOUD CRASH
CROWD GASPS
AMBULANCE SIREN
[Mr. Lee:] What happened?!
Why you wearing gangsta clothes?!
[Warren:] Harry pushed me off the stage!
[Anita:] He didn t push you off the stage!
[Lisa:] You re so dramatic!
[Mr. Lee:] What stage?
[Lisa:] Oh crap.
[Mrs. Lee:] Warren, why are you wearing gangsta clothes?!
[Anita:] We ll be outside.
MR. LEE: Wait.
You girls took your brother to hip hop party?
MRS. LEE Your brother wanna be doctor!
and you take him to hip hip hurray party?!
LISA: Yes mom.
We took him to a hip hop hurray party.
ANITA: We wanted to take him out.
You know? Since he s been working so hard.
LISA: Let the kid live a little.
MRS. LEE: He can live after he become doctor.
WARREN I'm a rapper!
TYSON: Oh snap!
I didn t know it was that kind of a trip.
HARRY: Man, this trip's been a disaster.
It can't get worse than this.
TYSON: When were you gonna ask her?
HARRY: I don't know.
This weekend?
At the party?
I don t know.
My script sucks!
TYSON: What?!
My script. It sucks!
Anita won t tell me how horrible it is cause she
doesn t want to hurt my feelings.
It can t be that bad.
It's bad. I read it over last night.
I don't even know what it s about.
I quit my day job to pursue my dream.
I'm so stupid.
TYSON: At least you have a dream.
[Mrs. Lee:] Leave the rap to the black people.
MR. LEE: My son wanna be Snoopy Dog?!
[Warren:] I just wanted to get it out of my system.
Before I start Medical school next year.
MRS. LEE: Good.
No more embarrassing your family?!
[Warren:] Yeah, I won t embarrass the family.
I'm sorry.
[Mr. Lee:] You sure?
WARREN: Yeah.
(in English) Sprained neck.
You ll be alright in a few days.
ANITA: So he's good?
DR. WONG: Yeah. He's good.
WARREN: I'm good?
DR. WONG: You're lucky.
If you fell little more to the left you would have
broken your neck.
Anita Lee?!
ANITA: Yes.
MR. LEE: You know my daughter?
MRS. LEE: He know our daughter.
[Mr. Lee:] He should know our daughter.
Our daughter very famous! Big movie star!
DR. WONG: We went to Junior High together.
ANITA: Huh?
DR. WONG: It's me! Lawrence!
Lawrence Wong.
We went to Homecoming dance together?
ANITA: OMG!
Lawrence Wong!
All tall and grown up!
DR. WONG: Anita Lee!
ANITA: How long has it been?
DR. WONG: 16 years.
ANITA: You look great, Lawrence.
MRS. LEE: You look so handsome!
And you re a doctor now.
DR. WONG: And Anita s a TV star.
Congratulations on all your success.
My nephew's a huge fan.
[Lisa:] It s the number one show on TV for kids!
That's our girl!
DR. WONG: Wait, I remember you!
You were a grade above us.
Right? Lisa?
LISA: Right.
[Dr. Wong:] Lisa, the gangster sister that everyone was...
scared of.
MRS. LEE: Lisa? You gangsta?
DR. WONG: I'm sorry.
I won't embarrass you.
LISA: Thanks.
MR. LEE CLEARS THROAT
[Anita:] Oh! Lawrence, do you remember my dad?
[Dr. Wong:] How could I forget?
DOORBELL SOUND
What do you want Kid?
YOUNG DR. WONG Hello Mr. Lee.
I'm Lawrence Wong.
Anita s date to homecoming dance.
YOUNG MR. LEE What is your intention with my daughter?
YOUNG DR. WONG Excuse me?
YOUNG MR. LEE You a smart boy?
YOUNG DR. WONG I'm okay I guess.
YOUNG MR. LEE It's 7 now... you bring her home by 8 o'clock okay?
YOUNG DR. WONG Huh? (knocking can be heard)
YOUNG ANITA (O.S.) Dad? Can I come out now?
MR. LEE Wow...Anita, you look beautiful my princess.
YOUNG ANITA Thanks dad.
YOUNG DR. WONG You look beautiful...
YOUNG MR. LEE Shut up!
YOUNG DR. WONG Sorry, Mr. Lee.
YOUNG ANITA Dad!
Thanks Lawrence.
YOUNG MR. LEE Remember. Eight O'Clock, kid!
YOUNG DR. WONG Yes sir. Eight O'Clock!
MR. LEE Ha, ha...Did I do that? I don't remember.
It was so long ago.
DR. WONG Yes, it was.
MRS. LEE (in Chinese) Dr. Wong...
MR. LEE Very noble parents.
(to the kids) You learn Chinese!
Speak Chinese! Okay?
DR WONG He'll be out tomorrow.
ANITA Okay. We'll see you guys at home.
DR. WONG It was good to see you Anita. Maybe we can get
together some time...
MRS. LEE Dr. Wong...Are you married?
DR. WONG No.
MRS. LEE Dr. Wong, what are you doing for dinner tomorrow?
DR. WONG Please call me, Lawrence.
MRS. LEE Lawrence! Lawrence!
LAWRENCE!
LISA See you guys in the morning!
HARRY Wanna get some air?
ANITA Sure. Let me get some jackets.
HARRY This is beautiful.
ANITA Yeah...
HARRY chuckles ANITA chuckles
HARRY Did I ever mention that I was kind of a FOB
when I was young?
ANITA Uhmm. Baby
You re still kind of a FOB.
HARRY Well, my high school English teacher had me
rewrite my college essay ten times.
I wanted to quit so badly...
ANITA You know... If my dad gave up swimming across the river
From Guam out of Hong Kong, my family wouldn't be here.
ANITA I wouldn't be here.
SOUND OF SWIMMING
ANITA You know his two friends... they gave up after walking six days
to get to the bay. They were too scared but my dad swam.
He didn t know what awaited him across that river...
But that one moment changed the course of his life. Forever.
The script's almost finished, honey. Plus you're a pretty
good writer, for being FRESH OFF THE BOAT.
HARRY Thanks.
MUSIC STARTS.
MUSIC CONTINUES.
MRS. LEE (in Chinese) Dr. Wong.
MR. LEE Mister and Misses Lawrence and Anita Wong.
Wait.
Doctor Lawrence and Anita Wong!
Anita Wong or Anita Wong...
MRS. LEE Both sound good!
Both Sounds strong.
Anita Wong!
Then Anita Ho...
A-ni-ta Ho?
MRS. LEE A-ni-ta Ho?!
MR. LEE Ho? Ho! Ho?
KNOCK. Knock. Knock.
HARRY Are you okay, Warren?
WARREN Can I please have my room back?
Don t touch me. You ve done enough.
HARRY I really am sorry about your neck.
WARREN Get out please.
HARRY I really am sorry, bro.
WARREN I m not your bro.
(to Anita) Happy birthday, Anita Lee!
ANITA Thank you.
MR. LEE Sign it for Mr. Chao.
MR. CHAO Thank you.
ANITA You're too funny Dad.
MR. LEE I ll have your photo in all the restaurants
in Vegas!
MR. LEE We'll talk later.
EVERYONE Surprise! Happy Birthday, Anita !!
MR. LEE Well...
ANITA We have such a huge family.
LISA: This is bigger than my thirtieth!
Oh look, it's Auntie Debbie from New York!
TYSON: Just blend in and stay out of everyone s sight
and you ll be fine.
COUSIN BRUCE: Haha! You got in a fight, huh?
[Warren:] Stop it, Bruce! [Bruce:] Good for you!
UNCLE LOU: What the hell happened to you?
Looks like you got beat up!
WARREN No!
COUSIN BRUCE: Nah, it's cool, Uncle Lou.
That s how we grew up, remember?
Hey! Toughen up, huh?
MRS. LEE: Car accident. Car Accident.
Don t embarrass me!
COUSIN BRUCE: Car accident... Lame!
ANITA Hi Grandpa!
GRANDPA LEE Anita, your face is still transforming beautifully.
ANITA Thanks, Grandpa.
I want to introduce you to someone. My boyfriend Harry.
GRANDPA LEE Harry!
HARRY Hello, Grandpa Lee.
GRANDPA LEE Your voice sounds Korean.
HARRY Wow. You could tell by just hearing my voice?
ANITA (to Harry) He has Glaucoma. He can't see as good
as he used to but his other senses are heightened.
GRANDPA LEE Korean face.
HARRY Wow!?
ANITA How is your health, Grandpa?
GRANDPA LEE I'm thankful I'm still breathing.
You guys must be Chao's people.
Take care of my dad and we'll talk later.
Just grab any one of these guys when you
need to go, dad.
GRANDPA LEE Grab who? I can't see.
DOCTOR 1 Why are we here again?
[DOCTOR 2:] His daughter.
APPLAUSE
UNCLE LOU You don't need microphone. You're loud enough!
MR. LEE Lou, you still have your hearing?!
Good for you! Haha!
Actually, tonight is an excuse to see all of you.
Our family. The ones we love.
So tonight...
Only the invited ones are welcome.
Anita, come up and say a few words.
ANITA Oh my goodness!
I haven t seen you guys since cousin Bruce s birthday.
COUSIN BRUCE You came to my birthday?!
I don't remember!
ANITA That's because you always drink too much!
COUSIN BRUCE Well that's... that's wrong?
ANITA Thank you so much coming and for all the gifts.
And I love it how you guys still don t take the price tags off.
AUNTY LOU How you gonna know who loves you more?
AUNTY DEBBIE I love you more.
ANITA Okay, Okay. I love you both the same.
Now, let's eat!
HAPPY MUSIC PLAYS
HARRY (to mirror) Anita, from the first moment that I saw you...
I knew that you were the gift from heaven...
and I would do anything to fight for you...
DOCTOR 1 Toilet s over there, Grandpa.
GRANDPA LEE I said I didn t need your help.
DOCTOR 1 Oh, you don't need my help?
Well find your way back then!
GRANDPA LEE Asshole.
PANTS UNZIP
LOUD URINATION
GRANDPA LEE Thank you.
Harry?
HARRY Hi Grandpa Lee.
[Mr.Chao:] No, I cannot do it!
[Mr.Chao:] If I do it for you, I have to do it for everybody!
MR. LEE Mr. Chao, you want me to take my business somewhere else?
MR. CHAO I knew you were gonna do this to me.
MR. LEE Do what?
I'm helping you.
This is a win-win for the both of us.
MR. CHAO This is wrong!
MR. LEE What is it gonna be?
MR. CHAO After tonight I'm not gonna...
do anymore of your birthday parties.
MR. LEE You ungrateful...
After all these years of business.
MR. LEE Take my dad to the bathroom, okay?
DOCTOR 2 Sir.
HARRY I have waited my whole life...
I've waited... my whole life...
* I've waited my whole life to find someone like you *
I've waited my whole life to find someone like you.
To have for myself.
UNCLE JOE I went to Yale.
What school did you go to?
[Auntie Debbie:] We have had houses in Hong Kong, China...
and New York.
How about you?
Where's your home?
[Uncle Joe:] What kind of work are you in? What do you do?
UNCLE CHANG What do your parents do?
[Cousin Bruce:] One time, I rank two bottles of Courvoisier.
All by myself!
That is one Mother's Day I will never forget!
UNCLE CHANG What do you do?
[Cousin Bruce:] What about you? What do you like to drink?
HARRY I don't drink.
DOCTOR 2 You gonna be okay finding your
way back there, Grandpa?
Okay then.
HARRY Grandpa Lee, you need some help?
GRANDPA LEE Harry?
You have pee pee problem?
HARRY No, Grandpa.
I'm just washing my hands.
HARRY Hey.
DR. WONG What's up.
HARRY Enjoying the party?
DR. WONG I just got here.
HARRY I'm Harry.
DR. WONG Dr. Wong.
Doctor Lawrence Wong.
HARRY Okay.
So which side of the family are you from?
DR. WONG Neither.
I just came for food but I guess they ended early.
I ll try to make the most of this.
TOILET FLUSHES
GRANDPA LEE Harry?
HARRY Hi, Grandpa Lee.
GRANDPA LEE You should really get your pee pee checked.
HARRY I m fine.
CUTE MUSIC PLAYS
[Harry:] You asked for me?
MR. CHAO Are you the one who...
brought the Korean Barbecue?
HARRY What?
MR. CHAO He wants me to cook Korean BBQ,
in my Chinese Restaurant.
He man has no respect.
I lose face in my Chinese restaurant.
TYSON How are you doing?
HARRY Korean BBQ?
LISA What?
TYSON Korean BBQ?
HARRY In the kitchen.
LISA What?
Look, it doesn t matter.
Do you know who those guys are at the corner table?
[Harry:] Your cousins.
LISA No!
Those are doctors and one of them's gonna end up...
being our brother-in-law if you don't step up...
and do something about it.
TYSON Do it.
Or it s arranged marriage.
[Harry:] No!!!
[Lisa:] Yes!
HARRY No!
HARRY Anita, we have to talk.
ANITA Sure. Where've you been hiding?
HARRY Um...Anita. I...
ANITA Wait.
MR. LEE Ladies and gentlemen. It's Karaoke time!
It s time for traditional birthday sing off!
APPLAUSE
MR. LEE (sings) *Do you know who I am?
*Do you know what I have seen?
* Do you know where I've been? *
* For the American Dream.
* Why?!
* You have no clue.
* I swam the Pearl River, Guangzhou to Hong Kong. *
MUSIC STOPS
HARRY Who is that guy?
TYSON I don't know.
DR. WONG Happy birthday, Anita.
You're as beautiful as you were in Junior High.
MUSIC STARTS
This song is for you, Anita.
LISA What the hell? Who invited Lawrence?
[Tyson:] You know him?
LAWRENCE (sings) *I am a Doctor. I am a man.*
* I am everything You wish you can. *
* Can't compete with this, a perfect catch. *
* I am every parent's dream. Provide her a future. *
* Her dreams a reality. Nice home to live in. *
* Money to spend. Anything she wants.
* Whatever she needs. She can have it all. *
* Money, money, money, money.
* Money, money, money!
* Money! Muahahahaha!
HARRY (sings) *Never been so disrespected. Never felt so insecure.*
* I might not be a perfect catch. *
* But if you give me a chance I will show you that we are a *
* perfect match.
WARREN Harry. Two words. You suck!
Lawrence, great song choice throughout the competition.
You are so consistent. It made me want to hear more.
MRS. LEE Dawg. Dawg. Yo. Yo Harry.
I don t know dawg. I just wasn t feeling it.
It was pitchy.
But Lawrence, dawg! You've got it!
I love that about you and a great song choice.
The falsetto at the end really took it home for me.
You re in it to win it!
MR. LEE Harry, you're absolutely useless.
how did you even get on this show?
I m embarrassed that you lasted this long.
Don t quit your day job, you re a broke writer with no job!!!
But Lawrence: Just perfect.
You got the look, the voice, the it factor and you re a doctor.
HARRY I would like to say something.
MRS. LEE Harry! Sit!
HARRY Anita?
MRS. LEE Sit down Harry!
MRS.LEE SINGS HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN CHINESE
[Lisa:] Get the cake!
HARRY Now!?
LISA Yes! Now!
APPLAUSE
[Harry:] Hey, what's going on in here?
That's expensive meat!
Hey! You're burning the meat!
MR. CHAO I can't wait until this ends.
HARRY Me too!
MR. CHAO Me too!
DR. WONG Anita, may I have this dance I never got at our Homecoming?
MRS. LEE Oh yes! Anita! Dance!
Dance!
CLASSY MUSIC PLAYS
OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS
HARRY Nooooo!!
SCREAMS
FIRETRUCK SIRENS
EMT Please Mr. Chao, you gotta stay calm.
I need to put bandages on you.
MR. CHAO Them!
EMT What about them, Mr. Chao?
MR. CHAO It's them!
You re gonna pay! I'm gonna make you pay Lee!
I'm gonna make you pay for this this time!
SAD PIANO MUSIC
HARRY I need to talk with Anita.
WARREN Haven't you done enough, Harry Ho?!
HARRY Mr. Lee!
HARRY I get it.
I'm not the ideal man you ve imagined for your daughter.
In terms of profession, education and ethnicity.
But one thing for sure...
I will love her til the day I die.
And you know what I like about her?
Her beautiful heart.
A heart like that can only come from a loving family...
and upbringing.
Good job, Mr. Lee!
DR. WONG So, how did I do, Mr. Lee?! Did you like my singing?
MR. LEE You might be a doctor, but you have no respect.
You have no heart. Now get out of here, kid!
Get out!
MR. LEE Anita, maybe its better this way.
ANITA You guys didn't even give him a chance.
MRS. LEE Of course we did and all thing work out for the better.
ANITA Do they, mom? Do they? How is this better for me?
MRS. LEE Some things are not within our control.
I don t know why it happened this way.
Maybe, it s not meant to be.
ANITA I ve never been so angry with you guys.
MRS. LEE Anita. He did not even wait for you. No good.
ANITA Mom. Stop it!!!
And why would you invite someone I don t care about to
my birthday party?
MRS. LEE We thought Lawrence much better match.
You a big movie star! He a doctor!
ANITA Stop telling people that I m a star.
I m just a Power Raider.
MR. LEE You are our special child.
ANITA So is Harry. Harry's someone s special child too!
KNOCK.
MRS. LEE Anita, every mommy want their daughter to have more than them.
To live a life better than them.
Life is so much easier with money.
ANITA Money isn't everything, Mom!
Was your life that bad? Was living with dad so bad?
He paid a million dollars for you, right?
MRS. LEE Your daddy only paid a one-way plane ticket for me.
Anita, mommy and daddy lived in a very different time than you.
We don't have choice to find love.
For most of us, love find us.
ANITA That s not a bad thing. Love found me too, mom.
CAR TURNS ON
MRS. LEE Anita, mommy only want the best for my daughter.
ANITA I know, mom.
So he just paid one way ticket? That s it?
MRS. LEE No. More. He gave me his heart. A beautiful heart.
ANITA (to Warren) Get well soon, okay? And don t give up on your dream.
You could be a real MC.
WARREN Thanks sis.
ANITA I'm serious.
If you don't you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
And you're kinda talented.
WARREN Sorry about everything.
ANITA It's okay. I love you.
WARREN I love you too.
SAD PIANO MUSIC PLAYS
I will pay.
MR. CHAO No need.
MR. LEE What do you mean no need?
MR. CHAO Already taken care of.
MR. LEE Who?
MR. CHAO The Korean BBQ.
ANITA Oh my God! Really?
Dad! We gotta go.
MR. CHAO He gave you face.
GRANDPA LEE Harry?
HARRY Hi Grandpa Lee.
GRANDPA LEE You should get your peepee checked.
HARRY Haha! It's fine.
Let's wash our hands.
MR. LEE Anita.
I'm sorry about everything. I hope you forgive Daddy.
ANITA It's okay Dad, I understand.
MR. LEE Here. And tell him to buy you something bigger...
when he makes a lot of money. Okay?
ANITA Dad!
DOOR OPENS
LARRY Brotha Harry!
What s going on, man?
I've been trying to get a hold of you all day.
HARRY My phone got damaged in the water.
LARRY How the hell did that happen?
HARRY Don't ask.
LARRY You look like crap by the way.
HARRY Thanks, Larry.
LARRY How was Vegas?
HARRY Haven't you heard? What happens in Vegas...
LARRY ...Stays in Vegas?
Ah, actually, nowadays...
People bring back STDs, drama, a kid, dead hooker in a trunk.
She said no, huh? How dare she say no my brother, man.
I thought she was cool. I thought she was different.
HARRY Calm down man.
I didn t even get a chance to ask her.
LARRY What?!
You chickened out, huh?
The ring. I told that ring was too small.
HARRY Larry!
LARRY Yeah?
HARRY Calm down man.
I didn't sleep for three days.
I drove three hundred miles alone leaving the...
love of my life behind.
I'm tired, man. I'm tired!
DOOR OPENS
ANITA(O.S.) Hey! What's the big idea?
Did you forget something?
HARRY I'm sorry!
ANITA I'm sorry too.
We're all sorry.
I should've never let it get so out of hand.
Do you still love me?
HARRY Of course I still love you!
ANITA Then why did you give up the ring?
HARRY Baby, it was just collateral!
Anita, will you marry me?
ANITA Yes!
MRS. LEE I really like this movie.
MR. LEE Me too. I love it!
HAPPY MUSIC PLAYS
KID Hey Warren Lee!
Can I get your autograph!
WARREN Sure, kid! What's your name?
KID James To, but my friends call me Toestah.
WARREN Toestah. I like that!
KID (rapping) Yeah yeah, I wanna be just like you!
A real MC and a future MD, you can call me Toast-Eazy.
Bringing in the Cheezy!
WARREN LAUGHS
WARREN Alright, kid. Stay in school, Toast-Eazy.
JOSEPH Hey! Congrats you guys!
ANITA Thanks Joseph!
HARRY Yeah, thanks Joseph!
JOHN Harry.
HARRY Hey!
JOHN Very ambitious. I like it. Congratulations!
ANITA Thanks John!
HARRY Thanks John!
APPLAUSE
SONG PLAYS