When I was a little boy, my mom used to play A Portrait of Merle Haggard
every night before bed.
Her favorite song was Silver Wings,
so I figured I'd surprise her and learn how to play it.
I played that song day and night until my fingers bled.
Finally, when I sat her down to play it,
she waited until I was finished and then she said,
"Merle sings it better, but keep trying."
So I guess I am.
Put it out, Beau.
Yes, ma'am.
Peterson went through withdrawal all over the dogwood deck. It's got your name on it.
And Beau?
I don't want to see you anywhere near Mrs. Canter's room.
- The what? The what was wet? - Go with it.
- What did you get wet? - The stage was wet.
Oh, the stage was wet, right.
I'm looking.
- That's when it what? - You keep messing me up here.
I'm sorry.
- You know, here. You just... - You were what?
- You sing it. - What were you going to say?
No, that was good. Why are you giving this to me?
- Go on, please. - What?
I don't know. Make it yours.
I like that song. What do you say when you start?
"I remember that day."
"I remember that day. When..." When what?
"When we first met."
- How do you do that so fast? - I didn't do anything.
- You were there. You had it already. - Give me that.
"Timing is everything."
- Try that one. - I like that. That one was good.
Kell.
What's going on?
This is Beau. Do you remember him? He's one of my sponsors.
We were just messing around.
Of course.
Hey, Beau. How are you doing?
- Hey, beautiful. - Hi.
Beau, would you mind getting a couple bellhops for Kelly's bags?
- You got bellhops here, don't you? - No, sir.
Well, then, do you mind? Because the car's out front.
- They're letting me out early. - Well, you still got another month left.
- They think I'm better. - Better than what?
I was going to tell you. I was...
I was just thinking, "How am I going to tell you?"
Beau!
Are you Kelly's doctor? Because the last I checked, Dr. Stevens was taking care of her.
No, he's just being protective. Aren't you, Beau?
He's just being a good sponsor.
Why don't you let me be the protective one, all right, hoss?
Now, if you wouldn't mind,
I'd like to get some help with these bags so we can get Kelly out of here.
She doesn't travel light, in case you hadn't noticed.
The first two venues are small.
We'll ease you back into it.
And the third?
We're going to go back to Dallas, televised.
- What? - Yeah, we're going to prove them all wrong.
Look, Kell, you're the toughest girl I know, so if you tell me you're not ready,
well, then, I'll take that at face value.
I want Beau to open for me.
Who's Beau?
He's that kid you just met. He's a singer. He's a good one.
Well, why don't we get the gardener to open for you? I'm sure he's good.
It's important to me.
Besides, I've already got an opener for you.
Chiles Stanton.
The beauty queen I was telling you about.
She's playing tonight at The Stage, and I'm going to go check her out.
I'm sure you are. You can check out Beau while you're there.
All right. Well, how about this? Look, I'll...
Hold on. I'll go check out Chiles tonight and if it doesn't work out,
and if she doesn't blow me away, then we'll look at other options.
Don't placate me.
- I wouldn't dare. - Yeah.
So, where did you find the bird?
Under a tree down there.
I waited 20 minutes for her mama to come back,
and when she didn't, I swooped her up.
- I've been taking care of her ever since. - It looks like a baby quail.
I've been calling her Loretta Lynn.
What if I took her for just a little while?
I'll take care of her.
You got a really big tour that you need to get ready for.
Okay.
Hey.
- I got a good idea. - What?
Let's get out of here.
Let's go.
Nashville's Kelly Canter was released, once again, from rehab this morning.
You'll remember, the country music star was arrested last year
for drunk and disorderly conduct while performing at a show in Dallas.
She was five months pregnant at the time.
Hi, guys. Hey. Hey, how are you doing?
Be careful.
We can't wait to get on the road again. We can't wait for the tour to start.
Kelly's feeling better than ever. She's looking better than ever.
And it's going to be fun. We can't wait to get in front of the fans again, okay?
Thanks, guys. Take care.
James, what about the divorce rumors?
Hey, Beau.
What are you doing here?
I couldn't just wait by the phone for you to call, could I?
I'm here to hear you sing. And to support Chiles, of course.
Chiles? What does she got to do with tonight?
- You be nice, Beau. Find me after the show. - All right.
Hi, Beau.
You better be here to wish me luck.
I'm on the board. I'm playing three songs tonight.
- Says who? - Says James Canter, that's who.
- Bullshit. - Bull-true.
I happen to be in consideration as the new opening act for Miss Kelly Canter.
James, my new manager, booked me this gig as a rehearsal.
Not that I need it. I've been ready for this moment since I was four years old.
The last time I saw you sing, you froze up like an ice cube.
That was seven and a half months ago. And it was just that one time.
I'm not playing county fairs anymore. I'm much more seasoned.
You don't have any songs. You can't even play the guitar.
I've been writing songs. I got a whole bunch of them right over there.
Little Heartbreaker, Summer Girl, Rinky Dinky Town.
These aren't songs, these are rides at Disneyland.
Clint, tell me Garth Brooks here isn't opening up for me.
She's not. She's closing. I can't do anything about it, either.
- It's your place. You can tell her no. - Not to James Canter, I can't.
So you're going to let this prom queen get up on stage?
I mean, for Christ's sake, Patsy Cline sang here.
I don't care if she sings Yankee Doodle Dandy,
she's still going to play.
I'm not cutting your set, Beau. You've got the same three songs.
Don't worry, Beau.
I have no intention of stealing your invisible career.
You see,
I want one.
- Hey, you did make it. Good to see you. - How are you doing?
We got a packed house tonight,
I got your favorite spot on the rail right straight through here, and Chiles is up next.
Yeah, what do you hear about her?
Well, I saw her last Tuesday at Robert's.
And to tell you the truth, I don't know which was bigger, the hair or the dress.
Hey, she could be a diamond in the rough, you know?
Well, I ain't got much time for rough.
Yeah, I hear that.
- Kelly's not coming? - No, no, she needs her beauty rest.
Well, I guess I can tell the bartender, "Put the vodka back on the shelves."
Enjoy the show.
Thank you very much.
What are you waiting for? You're up, Kilgore. Your band's there.
I was Miss Dallas, dummy.
Dallas, Kilgore, what's the difference? Go get that career.
- How do I look? - Like a country Barbie.
Thank you.
All right.
This is it. This is my night.
Everything is about to change.
Excuse me. Sorry.
Sorry.
Excuse me. Sorry.
Here we go.
Hi, y'all. How are you doing tonight?
I'm Chiles Stanton.
And what a beautiful crowd you are!
I have a few new songs for you tonight, and I hope you like them.
Watch this.
I'm sorry.
Oh, my.
I'm so sorry.
One more time.
Do you think somebody could turn down the lights a little bit? It's awful bright in here.
Okay.
Oh, shit.
One more time.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Chiles Stanton, everybody!
No, that was fun up there, man.
Actually, we're going to work on that.
You two sounded good in there.
Yeah, thanks.
- Do you ever think about doing a duet? - No.
Her good looks and your songwriting...
The girl's more scared than a church mouse, James.
Yeah, but once you get her wound up, boy...
We're no duo, man. I don't even know her. I was just sleeping with her friend.
Why don't you go on the road with us, Beau,
get the hell out of these honky tonks,
step up to the big leagues?
I think your bird is hungry.
Hey.
This could be a hell of an opportunity for you, you know that?
You know, I don't know if this means anything to you,
but I actually enjoy playing music,
and it don't matter who it's for. All the rest is just bullshit.
Bullshit.
Why don't you try to play some of that bullshit in a stadium full of people?
Then see if you got anything, hoss.
I like these people just fine.
I figured you'd say that.
Beau, do you care about Kelly?
What are you getting at?
Look, I know her legs are still shaky.
I ain't stupid.
But I also know this is the only opportunity she has to turn herself around,
maybe save her life. And I thought, maybe since you were so
concerned about Kelly and that you were her sponsor,
that maybe you would come out on the road and help me take care of her.
Maybe not.
Do you think Chiles Stanton is pretty?
- Now, come on. - No, I'm serious.
I do. That's why I'm asking.
I think she looks like a young Linda Ronstadt.
Yeah, well, she's a talented kid.
Do you think I'm talented?
- What do you think? - How talented do you think I am?
Very talented.
- On a scale of one to 10. - A 10.
- 10's the lowest. - All right, a one, then. Absolutely a one.
- How about zero? - Oh, you're definitely a zero.
For sure.
James?
I'm sorry about Dallas.
So am I.
We should talk about it sometime.
James?
I just got one of those Brazilian bikini waxes.
I just took an Ambien.
I'll see you in eight hours.
The first time I heard you sing,
I knew. I wasn't much of a church man,
but I thought that must be what angels sound like.
I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.
- I love that story. - That's good. Because it's true.
- Kelly, how was rehab? - Well, good, I hope.
- Is it too soon for a comeback tour? - Are the divorce rumors true?
We couldn't be happier. We've got three sold-out shows.
We've got the hottest two acts in country music to come around in a long time.
And Texas has never seen anything this big.
Kelly, how do you feel about returning to Dallas?
I feel okay. I think it's going to be good.
- Thanks. - Thank you, Kelly.
- Anything else to say to your fans? - I love y'all. Thanks for coming out.
- Have you forgiven Kelly for Dallas? - She looks great, doesn't she, guys?
Thank you so much. Thank you.
Hi, James. Hi, Miss Kelly.
Would you mind signing this for me, please?
- Sure. - Thank you so much.
If you have any advice for a young artist such as myself, I'd love to hear it.
- I have some advice. - And James has been so helpful.
I won't sell it on eBay or anything.
I've just been a fan of yours since I was a little girl.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
This is amazing, James. It's so beautiful, I don't even want to pee in the toilet.
You didn't think this was for you, did you?
No! No.
God, no.
Okay. See you in Houston.
What, you don't like your new band?
I didn't need your help back at The Stage. I would've done just fine.
I know. I know.
The only reason we're doing a duet in Houston is because James liked the song.
Yeah, I'm sure that's true.
So, I was looking at the set list for Dallas and I thought,
what if I close the show with Coming Home?
- Well, we don't have Coming Home, Kell. - Yeah, but, I mean, Bob's going give it to us.
We've given the guy enough number-one singles. Thank you.
Well, let's get through Houston first and we'll see, okay? Thank you.
I love Coming Home. I mean, I think it should be my next single, don't you?
Well, what I love is that Houston sold out in 15 minutes. That's what I love.
Did I tell you that?
Well, JJ, he thinks it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but I don't see it that way, Kelly.
I think that we got a lot of things that...
Kell? Hey!
Do you remember when we were like that?
Did you hear anything I said?
I think I weighed about 60 pounds soaking wet,
and I had that big old gap in my teeth and knock-knees.
You were the first boy who ever told me I was beautiful.
I remember your meat loaf. Do you remember the first bite?
Do you remember what was in the first bite that I took?
I was 20 years old, James. I was trying to be a good wife.
Damn.
Nobody told me, "First you cook the dinner and then you put on the Lee Press-on Nails."
I loved you so much, I think I would've eaten it anyway.
Do you ever wonder what would have happened if we had stayed in Bristol?
Yeah. I'd be selling insurance, you'd be singing in the church choir,
and we'd be miserable.
Kelly, you belong on stage, singing in front of thousands of people.
You're probably right.
I know I'm right.
Up or down?
I want it down and full. Like really... Do you remember how it was in Little Rock?
- How could I forget? - Well, goddamn.
Hey.
You like?
Man, you look like you're going to kick some ass.
Yeah!
That's what I told them. I said I want to look strong.
You look strong as hell.
Hey, guys, can I talk to Beau alone for a minute?
Okay, girls, let's clear the room.
- Just a second, okay? - No problem.
What are you doing?
I want you to make me a promise.
Okay.
Don't sleep with anybody else on this tour.
I'm serious.
Yeah, well, how's that fair? You sleep with James every night.
I don't sleep with him like that.
We don't even kiss with our mouths open anymore.
All right.
You're mine.
I'm yours.
Good.
Okay, everybody, come on back in. I just had to give Beau a little pep talk.
Okay, everybody, we got 10 minutes till showtime.
How many of those pills are you supposed to be taking?
I take whatever's in the square.
That's an awfully big square.
I've got some awfully big problems.
Somebody get my husband. I want him to know how lucky he is.
- James, Kelly's looking for you. - I'll be there in a minute.
- The blue dress. She needs to look her age. - All right. Do you want her hair down?
Hey, how many of those pills is she supposed to be taking?
I want her hair up because Kelly's is down.
And I want her to wear those suede Manolos
because I don't like her boots she's been wearing. Okay? Thanks.
Do you like my makeup?
I did it to make my eyes pop.
Well, you look beautiful.
James, Kelly took a lot of those pills, all right,
and I don't know about it. I thought maybe you'd want to talk to her.
God damn it, Beau.
I know exactly how many pills Kelly took, all right?
Because I put them in the pill box myself.
Now, the only problem with those pills is if she's mixing them with alcohol.
That's your job.
Thank you.
Oh, my gosh. That's from Emmylou. That is so nice.
Hey. Did you find him?
Yeah, he's dealing with a wardrobe emergency.
He said he'll be in when he's done.
He had a wardrobe emergency?
It's an exciting night tonight.
Y'all are the first to hear one of the best country lineups in the state of Texas.
And to kick it off, we have a newcomer, Mr. Beau Hutton.
Thank you.
Short and sweet is what I'm going to make this.
It's called Chances Are.
Are you going to open up any more of these
or do you want me to write out a list for you?
Yeah. What's that red one?
It says "H. Roberts."
It's probably that damn cookie place, heard about the diet I started yesterday.
Man, they get you every damn time.
Who gave this to you?
- Did you give this to her? - It was with all the other packages. I'm sorry.
Who told you to give this to her? Get security.
Right away.
I can't get any air.
Thank you.
How about it, ladies and gentlemen?
How about another round of applause for Mr. Beau Hutton?
We need security down in dressing room A right away.
- What's going on? - You can't go in there, Beau.
Nobody's allowed... Nobody's allowed inside, man.
Hey, Kell. Hey. It's Beau. Open up.
- I need James. - You're out of your league on this one, boy.
He's with her, isn't he?
Who gives a shit about any of that? Just open the door. Come on, let's talk.
I do! I love him, you idiot! Get out of here!
Get out of here, Beau. Let me deal with this shit. Go!
I'd like y'all to give a nice, big, warm Houston round of applause
- for the former Miss Dallas herself... - Baby, you got to come out of there.
...the lovely and talented Chiles Stanton.
Those people think I killed our baby, James.
Why would anybody think that?
Every time I think you're close to forgetting, something happens that brings it back up.
Well, I'm not going to forget about Dallas. It's not something you just forget about.
What if we tried again?
I bet you I could still get pregnant.
Kelly, listen to me.
You got a lot of people waiting out there.
Let's just get this over with and then we can go back to the hotel, okay?
All right? Then we'll get some fish and chips. We'll get in the hot tub.
It'll be just me and you. You don't want to leave your fans waiting.
- So, let's just get out of here... - It's never been just me and you.
- Let's just get out of here, baby. - No.
- Get out of the closet, Kelly. - Don't!
- Get out of the closet. - Don't!
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
James. James.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to do that.
I'll do whatever you want, okay? Okay?
All right.
Will you remember me like I was?
Yeah.
Go on stage, give them hell.
Will you give me a kiss?
Careful of the step.
That's good. I got it. I got it.
The first song, Country Strong, right?
Yes.
Are you all right?
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
the star of tonight's show, six-time Grammy winner,
the belle of Bristol, our very own Kelly Canter.
Hold on one second. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Sorry. I just...
Thank you so much.
You just cannot understand what this means to me. Thank you.
We love you!
I was just in my dressing room,
and I was looking out the window,
and I was looking up at the big, bright sky,
and there are so many stars.
And I thought,
"Man, it looks like they would take such good care of you."
Do you know what I mean?
Come on, baby, come on. Don't do this.
I never lived on a star, but it sure looks like fun.
Hey, what did y'all think of Beau?
Wasn't he great?
Let's go. Come on, come on, play!
Come on, baby, come on. Sing!
Oh, y'all want me to sing?
I am going to sing, okay?
I just...
I just feel like I need to sit down. Would that be okay?
Can I just sit down and just rest? And I am going to sing.
- Love you! - All right, Kelly!
I'm going to sing. Let's sing A Fighter, okay?
Sing.
Sing, Kelly.
Sing, baby.
We're never going to make it to Dallas! The whole show's going to get canceled!
- Would you just relax? - Hey, where the hell were you?
Where the hell were you when she had a bottle of vodka in her dressing room?
- I was on stage! - You were on stage?
Jesus Christ, don't you have any tricks up your sleeve?
Yeah, don't take somebody out of rehab before the rehab!
Who the hell do you think you are, kid?
Will you sign this?
People are ready to forgive you, but you have to give them something they want.
I've scheduled an emergency press conference
and a Make A Wish appearance in Austin. The kid's name is...
- Travis. - Travis. And he has...
- Leukemia. - Leukemia.
Let's go, people. It's time to do some clean-up here.
Thanks, JJ.
We'll make it up to you next week.
She better put on a real pretty face.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Shit. Come on, man.
You know we're all fools in this business.
What are you looking at?
No one's ever going to buy food poisoning. She's a total basket case.
Why don't you be quiet and tell me what you're looking at?
Don't.
"When did General MacArthur return to the Philippines?"
1946.
"What does 'amorous' mean?"
Having a propensity for falling in love.
What the hell are these things?
Well, as a woman in this industry,
people have a habit of thinking I'm some kind of ignoramus.
And my pageant training doesn't exactly help things, so I have to overcompensate.
You're not the only one who thinks I'm just some dumb beauty queen.
I'd never call you a dumb beauty queen.
Give me those.
I'm serious. Anybody that says "ignoramus" so casually,
that's not dumb at all.
Why don't y'all just sleep together?
Get it over with. Jesus. Really.
I feel great.
I feel better than I have in a long time,
aside from the food poisoning incident.
Note to self: Never trust a sushi bar that's open 24 hours a day.
But all that's behind me now.
And I just want to say, I'm really looking forward to playing for my fans here in Austin.
What about Dallas?
Dallas?
Yeah, your last date will be broadcast in Dallas, correct?
Yes.
We all know that Dallas and I have a history,
and it's not such a good one.
So I'm really looking forward to changing that.
Thank you.
Kelly!
Kelly! Kelly!
Is this on?
I guess so. I'm sorry.
My parents are school teachers. I'm not used to running in such fancy circles.
- Chiles! - Chiles!
- Yes? - Chiles, who is your idol?
I'm on tour with her right now. And Jesus Christ, of course.
Kelly Canter and Jesus Christ.
You and Jesus Christ. Who would have thought?
- They love her. - Yeah, I guess.
What do you think of her?
I don't.
You're not a very good liar, Beau.
Hey, are we still going to hang out today?
- Yeah. - Yeah?
So, what do you suppose we do?
Steal a car, do some skinny-dipping, shave our heads?
Hey, come on. Let's get out of here and have some fun.
- Come on. - Okay.
Well, what do you think?
I think I'm Kelly Canter and I'm breaking the law!
Give me more! Yeah! Come on!
Get it out there! Give me more!
Yeah! I got six Grammys and seven platinum records!
And everybody knows who I am!
And? Come on, what else?
And I have the best damn marriage in the world of country music!
Yeah, she's good, James.
Let's talk about the Freedom Tour. She might be a good addition.
You better hurry.
- How about this week? - All right.
Look, I was sorry to hear about Kelly. We were all praying for her.
Thank you, Bob, but she's doing just fine. She's looking forward to the next show.
- She also loves the tracks you sent over. - Oh, yeah?
Yeah. Especially Coming Home. She thinks that could be her next single.
She'd sing the hell out of it, Bob.
The little girl right there is the one to sing that song. I'll talk to you later.
What?
Maybe we should stop this.
You're married, Kelly, you know?
Well, I've always been married.
Yeah, but just after today, I've been thinking
that maybe I'm just not the best thing for you in your life.
I want to be, but...
I'm just
trying to do what's best for you.
Since when?
I think the world of you, Beau.
But sometimes you don't have the faintest idea of how to talk to women.
Hey.
- Do you want to hang out? - No, not really.
All right.
I just wanted to show you my lyrics. That's all.
Where have you been?
I was with Beau.
Why do you have a towel on?
We were out and I got so dirty I needed to take a shower.
Well, that sounds like fun.
It was.
- Can I help you do that? - Nope, I got it.
Are you going to let me in or what?
Do you write all your own lyrics?
What is this, Twenty Questions?
How come you haven't got the chorus wrote down yet?
Because I haven't come up with it yet.
I could write it for you.
This ain't Mad Libs, Chiles.
You can't just fill in a blank with a noun America loves.
Well, I could write good lyrics if I wanted to.
Maybe I just haven't been inspired by anyone yet. You ever think about that?
I don't need to be singing about my Achy Breaky Heart.
Give In To Me? That's what it's called?
- I like that title. - Good. Then don't mess it up.
Oh, my God! The Miss America Pageant's on.
I'm just dying for Miss Oklahoma to win.
She's got the best figure, and she does the prettiest ribbon routine.
I think I need a drink.
- Do you want one? - Just a tiny one.
How would I change the world if I won this crown?
I would start by putting country music on all US outbound flights.
Then I'd change the national anthem to Merle Haggard's Mama Tried.
This is how you win a beauty pageant.
Oh, let's see.
"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, distinguished judges."
That's such bullshit.
And then I give them one of my seven smiles.
- Yeah, let's see them. - Well, I got swimsuit.
And then interview.
I like that one.
I got my formal wear.
Which one's your drunk-off-my-ass smile?
I think you're drunk.
You know, I think we should have a swimsuit competition.
I don't have a swimsuit.
Well, you're wearing a bra and panties, aren't you?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's the same thing.
Yeah, I'm doing it. Here we go. You versus me.
Beau, what are you doing?
Don't be a chickenshit about this, Chiles.
I've seen plenty of ladies in their swimsuits before.
I'll get into mine just so we're even.
Your turn.
All right.
But no pictures.
I may go on to be Miss America one day.
So, what do we do now?
Build a sandcastle or something?
Oh, my God. That must be James.
- What the hell's he doing here? - Put your pants on.
Well, it's not like you have to answer it or anything.
You know I do.
Put your pants on. Hurry.
- Hi, James. - Hey.
I was just showing Beau my pageant walk.
And he was leaving. Right, Beau? You were just leaving?
- Yeah. - Well, that's something I'd like to see.
Is that guyliner?
That's real cute, Beau.
The Statesman's calling you the next Carrie Underwood.
- Really? - Yes.
You're on their "Top Ten Country Artists to Watch" list.
- Was Beau on the list? - Yes.
"The next Townes Van Zandt." Who's that?
- He was a singer-songwriter. - Was he famous?
In some circles, but not nearly as famous as Carrie Underwood.
How did you know? How did you know I had it in me?
I just took one look at you, darling. I mean, you might as well be holding up a stop sign.
Most people just pass right through.
Yeah, well, they'll regret it. I promise you that.
Well, you just got to figure out another pickup line.
Hi, Beau.
- Did you have a good time last night? - Yeah. Sure.
Yeah, that's good.
I finished your lyrics for you. There they are.
God, how did you ever find the time?
You be quiet, Beau Hutton.
Chiles, me and the guys here, we were talking about that year
MacArthur returned back to the Philippines.
Just none of us could think of when that was. When was that?
Are you making fun of me, Beau?
Well, I don't know. Let me check my flash card.
Yes, I am.
You're an asshole, man.
What are you doing here?
- You're not supposed to be here. - Yeah, well,
I just looked for the biggest shit-hole bar in town and there you were, Beau.
You're not that hard to figure out.
I thought you didn't want anything else to do with me.
I'm waving a white flag.
I got a surprise for you. Come on, Winnie's waiting for us out front.
Come on!
Seriously?