[AIRPLANE SOUND EFFECTS]
Downloaded from YTS.MX
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC BEGINS]
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♪THEY CALL ME FIXY WHIP ROLLER
♪PUT YOUR WORDS IN MY BAG AT CHROME♪
♪WE WERE AZTECS WITH CHIA SEEDS
♪CENTURIES AGO
♪WELL I WAS PUMPING MY LEGS AND I WAS GRITTING MY TEETH♪
♪I WAS SPITTING OUT THE FLIES
♪GLIDIN' LIKE A HELL BENT AVALANCHE♪
♪TIL THIS LIMO COMES FROM BEHIND♪
♪HE SAID THE 19TH CENTURY IS SO SLOW♪
♪YOU AIN'T GOT NOWHERE TO GO
♪HE SHOT PAST WITH A BLAST OF SPEED♪
♪AND I GOT LOW ON MY TOES AND KNEES♪
♪HE MUST'VE HAD ABOUT A HUNDRED YARDS♪
♪I TOOK A DRAG AND SAID IT CAN'T BE THAT FAR♪
♪WELL I SAW A LIGHT, IT WAS GREEN♪
♪HE CAUGHT A SIGNAL AND I GOT BETWEEN AND♪
♪I SAW THE DRIVER HIT THE GAS BUT I WAS FASTER♪
♪AND THIS IS WHAT I YELLED AS I WAS GOING PAST HIM♪
♪I SAID RIDE OR DIE
♪OH, RIDE OR DIE
♪OH RIDE OR DIE, OH, RIDE OR DIE♪
♪OH I, I, I, I
♪I SAID, RIDE OR DIE OH, RIDE OR DIE♪
♪RIDE OR DIE-IE-IE-IE-IE
♪OH, I-I-I-I!!!!
♪I-I-I-I-I
LIZ: I'm just saying if we leave now, then we don't have to--
TILDA: --We are not leaving without taking advantage of
these bad boys. Free breakfast at Buffalo Bills.
Seriously, let's just cut our losses.
Cut our losses? What part of this free breakfast buffet at
Buffalo Bills sounds like a loss to you?
[ELEVATOR MUSIC PLAYS]
Let's get real, Lizzo. Bloody wake up!
Dude, we're already cutting this vacation short because we don't
have any money and every activity around this place
involves spending money.
We don't need to spend money to have a good time, Lizzo.
You know that, right?
[ITALIAN SOUNDING MUSIC PLAYS]
KERRY [VO]: My girls. I'm as proud as a mother can be.
Always got each others' backs.
And backsides, in this case. Egging each other on since they
were knee high to a grasshopper.
But they haven't had the most conventional of upbringings.
Now that there... is Baz Wentworth.
Now, he and his wife Raelene... were something of Australian
greyhound royalty. I mean, she bred flawless dogs.
And he trained them into champions.
BAZ: Ah... They can't be beat, these dogs.
Every single race.
We've got the winning formula.
Winning formula or not, little did Raelene know that Baz
was doing a dodgy and having a brief but passionate affair with
me. See, I used to work as a bookie down at the track taking
bets and Baz and I formed a bond fixing races.
You know, doing some extra coin on the side.
How could any woman resist a bloke like Baz?
Anyway, Raelene and I got knocked up in quick
succession and nine months later...
Raelene had little Liz and I had my Matilda.
I like to think of her as a love child rather than a bastard.
Anyway, in the mid-nineties, Baz decided to expand his dog racing
empire.
See, he had formed some connections with the king
did-a-ling of racing in the great United States.
Land of opportunities, he said.
That's when his business started to go pear shaped.
He was shaking like a cockatoo in a cyclone.
I think he'd gotten too mixed up with his American friends
and gotten in a bit deep.
Then suddenly, his mother-in-law Opal drops dead. Dead?!
Well, it all looked very suspicious when...
the autopsy showed she died of an overdose.
Overdose?! And then a shipment linked
to Baz and Raelene was seized full of heroin!
Heroin?!
The very same batch of heroin that caused Opal to kick the
bucket.
Well, they were both thrown in the slammer for drug trafficking
and murder. Twenty-five to life.
YOUNG TILDA: Liz, come play with me.
But that's where I came in. Put my hand up to raise little Liz
as me own with her half-sister.
Now look at them. Thick as thieves.
[HONKING AND JAZZY VEGAS SOUNDING MUSIC BEGINS]
TILDA: Everything on that!
LIZ: Oh, blimey.
ROULETTE DEALER: Twenty-nine black.
TILDA: D'oh!
TILDA: [CONT] Oh, come on, mate! Don't be a dickhead!
LIZ: We're taking our money back to Buffalo Bills, you wanker!
TILDA: And you can tell that frown on tits in there...
she can shove the chips up her ass!
LIZ: Mate, I really think we've done our dash here.
TILDA: We just need to find a babe on a winning streak and get him to
cough up some of his chips for us.
TILDA: And then w- I could can make out with him and you can make out
with his friends.
TILDA: Rise. Rise up. This is Vegas, mate.
LIZ: Oh, bugger it! It's Vegas!
Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
TILDA: Oh, shit, yeah, Lizzo!
[GRUNTING AND NONSENSICAL SOUNDS]
It's Vegas. Vegas. It's Vegas.
It's Vegas. Vegas....
SODA GUY: Hey uh, you know this isn't Vegas, right?
[BOING SOUND EFFECT]
What [unintelligible] go on, eh? I'm pretty sure it's Vegas.
JOSE: Ladies, I couldn't help, but to overhear your accents.
Where are you from, the England?
We're Australian, actually.
Oh. Why don't you come to my hotel room? My friend is there.
We have been on something of a winning streak.
Friend, eh, Lizzo?
Do you think it's really a good idea for us to go
back to his hotel room?
He's a babe and his friend is no doubt a babe also. Yeah.
Wouldn't kill you to get some action, sweetheart.
Bloody close up if you're not careful.
Alright, to your suite, sweet cheeks.
I carry your bag?
I just don't want to get stuck with the uggo friend.
Great.
[CALMING MUSIC BEGINS]
♪SPANISH CANTINA MUSIC BEGINS
Guys. At least we can lie down.
Ooh, hoo, hoo.
BENITO: Good evening, ladies.
Oh, hi.
Hi, there.
You're South African.
No, no, we're actually Australian. Who are you?
There's no hot babes here, by the way--
-Thanks for that. -That's alright.
My apologies, my foreign friends.
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Benito Hernandez
Rodriguez Lopez.
[DISTANT GUNFIRE SOUND EFFECT]
Oh, that rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?
What do they call you for short, man?
Benny. Can I call you Benny?
Call the Jets Benny.
Oh, stop.
Jose here tells me you're interested in placing a bet.
May I interest you in a wager upon my two turtle friends here?
Perhaps. So Benny, let me get this straight. You're betting on
turtles?
Yes.
On turtles?
Yes, turtles.
I'm no biologist, but they look like tortoises.
Yeah. I'm pretty sure they are.
So what exactly are you betting they'll do, mate?
They walk. It's turtle racing.
Right-o. So it's kind of like greyhound racing, but boring as
bat shit. Am I right?
-Yeah. -Am I right, Jose?
Do yourself a favor and get that shirt off.
With greyhounds, it is over too fast.
With turtles, there is...
suspense.
-Wow. -See what you did there.
Alright.
That was a good one. Um, how long will it take?
Look, you choose a turtle. Bud or Miller High Life here.
I back the other. Place them on the bed.
First one over the line wins. Understand?
-Mm. -Just...
We'll discuss.
Uno momento, por favor, eh? [One moment, please?]
Quesadilla.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
There will be a big babe up there for you too, Lizzo.
Mate, what's probably completely loaded and just wants to hang
out with a couple of hot birds for a minute. And then flick us
some cash and we can get out of here.
I just feel like this whole situations dodgy.
Mate, you're from greyhound racing royalty. I think you can
pick a winning turtle.
Ah, yeah, of course I can.
So, what's the problem?
Okay, mate, I've got my $10 emergency money in my bra.
Do you have the one hundred dollars, right?
Mate, how do you reckon I paid for our sweet headdresses and
embellished with sequin G-bangers and bras?
Use your noggin.
Money well spent though.
I know.
Okay, well, why don't we use the Buffalo Bill bucks?
Ten thousand Buffalo Bill bucks to blow at the Buffalo Bill
Breakfast Buffet!
Wrap it up around the Buffalo Bill bucks. Wrap it around so it
looks really legit.
To be honest, Benito, I'm not really a competitive
kind of person.
Except when it comes to winning. Line 'em up!
Alright, people.
-Two in the field. -No bets across the board.
Bud looks like a good run in.
-All spectators to the apron! -It's first past the wire.
-One minute to post. -Ante those wages.
Cause we're going in $10,000 deep!
Come on, Bud, you bloody ripper. Get your...
You-you're shaming the name of Budweiser back there, alright?
Mate.
Yeah, hi, can I get six chicken nuggets, um...
Sorry, did you guys- you guys wanted two cheeseburgers?
Two cheeseburgers.
-Ketchup. -Ketchup.
Ten- ten packets of ketchup.
Ten- ten packs of ketchup.
Lit a firecracker up, yeah.
Poke your turtle head out!
Shit.
Well! That was a bloody hoot, wasn't it?
-Oh my word. -That was an absolute hoot.
What a lovely time we've had here.
Thanks very much.
And hoo-roo. Alright. Just grab the bag...
Just grab our bags and then we'll be off.
My money.
I'm sure Jose here would like to handle this in another way if
need be.
Don't mind if I do, Jose.
Hola.
[DOOR KNOCKING SOUND EFFECT]
BEATEN MAN: Don't do it, girls. Don't bet on the turtles.
[FAINT GUN SHOT]
Where were we?
What the hell is this?
Who the hell is Buffalo Bill?
Oh, they have good huevos rancheros, ese.
Okay, everybody, let's just simmer down. I mean, this is
ridiculous. It's just a couple of turtles.
I mean, you've already got ten bucks in your hand there...
and an absolute ripper of a brekkie buffet.
Mate, did you see the stack of crepes on the brochure?
Oh, and five different types of eggs.
-Six! Six different-- -Hash browns!
I will need much more than that.
You have three weeks.
You try to defy me or my bosses' reputation?
Our network stretches into the highest of ranks.
There are men across this country with the passion to
torture human beings.
Want to try me, mate?
[ELEVATOR TYPE MUSIC BEGINS]
She'd be up by now.
Just be cool, alright? Just... She'll freak out if she knows
we're freaking out. Especially if it's about gambling, so
just... I'm just gonna...
Yeah, okay.
[PHONE RINGING SOUND]
KERRY: Hello?
Hey, mum.
Oh, girls!
Yeah, we're in Vegas.
No, not gambling. Just enjoying the shows, relaxing.
We've got all our stuff.
How's the garden?
It- well, it's-it's good.
Good. Good to hear.
What's wrong, Liz?
Oh, no, nothing.
Actually, you wouldn't happen to have an extra ten
grand laying around, would you?
What? What the hell do you need ten grand for?
No, it's cool.
Actually, something really bad happened.
She's just joking, mum. Hey, how you going?
Didn't sound like jokes to me.
Liz made it sound a little more serious.
No, she's just yanking your chain.
You know, winding you up and pulling your leg. Ha!
Yeah, no, we just wanted to check in and see how you are.
See how the garden is.
It's, well, it's- it's good.
Yeah, alright. Okay, love you. Love you. Gotta go. Right, bye.
No, go.
What do you reckon? Of course, no go.
Shit's sake. I mean, if mum knew that we got into this because of
gambling...
You noticed that bird circling above us before?
Focus, Tilda!
I bet he's attracted to our sequins.
Hey, he likes the shiny.
Not- I re- what about we could rent a car and then steal it.
No, sell it.
Yeah! Cool, I'll just check my pockets. I've got the money and
the ID card with which to rent a car. Just kidding! I don't even
have pockets!
Alright, sarcasm is not welcome.
[BIRD SCREECH]
I told you it was coming for us!
Bugger off!
No - It's the sequins! Get your gear off! Get it off!
[BIRD SCREECH]
Oh! Oh! Oh!
MACI: You ladies need a ride?
-Yes. -Yes.
MACI: Shit!
So where are you guys headed? Shitting tumbleweed getting
stuck in my grill! I'm Maci, by the way.
[ROCK AND ROLL GUITAR PLAYS]
Um, yeah, we're just going to Venice Beach.
Ou-our cousin has a caravan.
We have a cousin in Venice Beach?
Yeah, yeah, on mum's side. Um, I memorized his address in case of
emergency. I was hoping not to run into him on this trip
though. A bit dweeby
MACI: Hey, you know, that's great.
I'm in Santa Monica which is way close by there, a little nicer.
Who makes this piece of shit cars, anyway?!
You know, that is just really kind of sweet.
It's a very open, accepting kind of community.
I'm sure they'll be very welcoming of your kind of
people.
Australians?
Nudists?
Oh, we're not nudists.
No.
[SIRENS WAILING]
Shit! Get in! Get in! Get in! Get in! Get in! Get in!
REED: Hi, ma'am. I'm gonna need... Whoa!
COX: Whoa! Hello!
MACI: Hi, officers.
COX: How you doing?
MACI: I'm-I'm great. What seems to be the trouble?
REED: You are stunning, that's the problem.
Oh, thank you
We got you going too gorgeous back there.
COX: That was a good one, yeah!
-Thank you. -You're beautiful.
-Good job then. -Well, nice talking. I guess
I'll be on my way.
Ho, whoa, whoa, whoa. Very funny, ma'am.
I don't think so. Uh--
We got you for speeding back there.
-Yeah. -Oh. How fast was I going?
Real fast. It was real fast, right?
Forty, sixty. It was fast.
It was hard to tell cause we weren't really paying attention.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
You know, I was just helping my friends back here and...
So where do you, uh... where do you live?
You know what? Here. Why don't I give you my license and my
information... -Alright. Alright, yeah.
That's a- that's a good... yeah.
-I can get going. -Got a boyfriend?
-Yeah. -Is he gonna be upset when he
finds out you got a big crush on me?
[LAUGHING ENSUES]
-Wow, you're so funny! -Ah, I'm just kidding.
You guys are hilarious!
No, but seriously, my wife just left me, so I'm a free man.
Wanna hang out? That's-that's totally not in our jurisdiction.
Oh, great!
Us three should be like hanging out all the time. You know?
Thanks guys!
[TALKING OVER EACH OTHER]
Asshole!
Just drive!
Spicy mama! You break my heart.
♪IT'S, IT'S, IT'S MY PARTY PARTY♪
PATTI: Who are you and what the hell are you wearing on my property?
[CHINESE GONG SOUND]
Oh, it's National costume.
Yeah, we're actually looking for Nigel Pitterton.
PATTI: Nigel? You look like a homeless and smell like a dirty laundry.
Yeah, he's actually her cousin, not mine.
This way.
[DOOR KNOCKS]
NIGEL: Is that my favorite landlady?
-Oh. -Yeah, hi, Pits. Mind if wecome in?
Liz! Oh my, I didn't know you were, uh...
Uh-huh.
Do I mind? No, of course not. Come. Come in.
Thanks.
Come on.
Thank you, Patti.
I will add extra residence to your rent on a nightly rate.
Okay. It's no problem.
I am watching you.
And y-you must be, uh... Tilda?
Pleasure's all mine.
Gosh, you've grown up. I don't think I've seen you since Auntie
Raelene and, uh, Uncle Baz got--
Wow, nice place you've got here.
Yeah. The thing is, Pits, we--
Still got that little nickname for me then.
Yeah. Um, we need to crash here for a little while.
Sure. Fine. Yeah, we can stay up at night, talking, hanging.
Do you still like arts and crafts?
Yeah, no, of course not. No. It's no problem.
Well, I've got another place to stay so...
Oh, great!
Don't want to intrude on girl time.
Oh, right now.
Well, I respect girl time.
I'll just get on with my other place then to, uh, to--
--to staying.
[RADIO MUSIC PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND]
Come on, Lizzo, go easy on him. Poor bastard's bending over
backwards to accommodate us.
You're right. Oh, he's just even more nervous and sweaty
than he was when we were kids at Christmastime. I wonder what the
other place is like.
He's probably holding out on us, you know?
Do you reckon we should give him a hand?
No. He's fine.
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
[CELL PHONE RINGING CONTINUES]
JACINTA: [CLEARS THROAT]
JUAN CARLOS: Is it medium rare?
It's a joke, Jacinta. Huh?
Did I give you permission to laugh?
REVIR VES. AHORA. [Look away. Now!]
Mala, mala, mala! [Bad, bad, bad!]
Speak.
[BURNED SINGED EFFECT]
Mr. Juan Carlos, I've secured ten thousand dollars.
How secure? Why do you call me then?
Do you have it in your hands?
It's two young chicas. They'll have it in three weeks.
Then it is not secure,is it, huh? Benito, escuchame [listen]-
if I have to lift one little finger to get my money myself,
it will be to pull the trigger to kill these two chicas.
These puta putanas and then-I will come after you.
[DOGLIKE SNARL]
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
Puto. [Fucker.]
[DOGS BARKING AND NIGHT TIME AMBIENCE]
Tilda. Tilda, are you awake?
I can't get to sleep. Tilda, we need to come up with a plan.
Early night then. Get down the beach and pick up some roided up
hotties somewhere.
Listen, we have a responsibility to earn the money back. I think
that we should get cash-in-hand jobs.
Hand jobs?
What?! Wake up! Wake up.
What?
Okay?
Hm.
So the plan is that we work our asses off and pay- pay the money
back to Benito. And then we get the hell out of here, okay?
At what point in this plan do I get to make out with some hot
bastard? We're still on vacation,
Liz, so don't forget that.
Vacation has just become vocation.
You just gotta relax, hey. Just probably can't take a proper
shit, you're so wound up.
I bloody can.
Shitting out diamonds, you're under so much pressure, mate.
I do bloody not shit out diamonds. Wouldn't bloody be
here if I shat out diamonds.
There's your money spinner, Lizzo.
You're impossible.
[SOUNDS OF CHIRPING BIRDS]
Yes, I want David Duchovny!
Morning, ladies. Don't mean to disturb you, but I noticed
you... Didn't have any clothes. I work in fashion.
Well, at a thrift store.
Uh, that's where I got my shirt, these pants and, huh, my shoes.
Lifting all those heavy bags must be what keeps you so
muscular.
Oh, ho, ho, well. Well, I'll just, uh, let you get with it.
Oh, hey, Pits?
Yeah?
Um, could you just leave the keys with us because I don't
want you just barging in whenever you feel like it.
Okay, so how are we gonna make $10,000 in three weeks?
That's- that's a lot of money.
Well, you know when you're in bed and you're nude...
and mum comes in and it's kinda embarrassing?
Well, I propose bed covers, right?
That- with sewn pajamas onto, so that then when you're lying down
there and it looks like you're wearing them, but you're not.
You're nude.
-I would buy- I would buy that. -I know.
I designed an app we could use to, uh, to-to draw up
a prototype.
Um, I think we could just improvise the prototype.
Thanks, Pits.
Hang on, you design apps? Cause I've got- I've got a ripper.
There's someone you want to be boning, alright?
Um, and so you take a picture of their face and you take a
picture of your face and then they get put on bodies that are
then animated so you can see what it looks like for you to
bone. And there's like sound effects and different positions
and stuff.
The iBone.
Ahh!
What about, so you have a weight, right?
But inside that weight is a spring mechanism with another
weight so it goes at the same time. So you're probably burning
like double the amount of calories.
And you just shake it like that?
Yeah.
And like how?
Just like this.
You need to get some wang Lizzo.
Oh, I have one of those. The weight.
Okay, why don't we just go outside. It won't cost us a
thing. Just roll up every leaf in the garden, smoke it, find
the next marijuana.
Are you serious? You know I don't want anything to do with
any type of drug operation. Sometimes I worry about you,
Tilda. Just seeing what happened to our family.
They're innocent, alright? Dad says they're innocent...
Yeah, okay, Dad says that. Whatever, they are still in
jail, mate. They may as well just be dead.
Yeah, we are not having this conversation right now.
Well, Pits, do you want to make yourself useful, then?
Oh, well, I don't think I'm really the, uh, inventor type.
Creatively, I'm - I'm more of an artist deep down. I like to
stick with what I--
Oh, ho, yeah. Okay, so Pits paints portraits of people
on porcelain plates.
Oh, god, how did I not think of this? Stuff we're good at?
♪CHINESE GONG SOUNDING MUSIC♪
Ah, hello, sir. You are in grave danger. I sense that you need a
psychic reading!
GAH!
Chin up, Lizzo. Some people just aren't spiritual like that,
you know? You look really convincing. You do.
[EXOTIC MUSIC CONTINUES]
How about Nigel having that crystal ball, hey?
Reckon he's into some karma sutra tantric shit?
Ah, how much money have we made?
None! That's not very helpful.
I see a psychic reading in your future!
Hey, I reckon if we give one out for free then other people will
see someone getting totally mystified and they'll want to
get involved. Yeah. Yeah. You just- you just gotta pop that
cherry.
Ew! Excuse me, come here! We'll give you a reading for free.
Come and sit on this plush Persian rug.
Right, well, Lizzo.
NOELLE: So this is all just bullshit, right?
Excellent. Come and take a seat.
We'll start with your first and last name.
NOELLE: Noelle Francis.
Now, Noelle, do you have Facebook?
Of course.
Who doesn't, right? Close those eyes for me just so I can get
really deep within the session. Noelle Francis from
Venice Beach, California?
Mm-hm.
Excellent. Excellent. You have a very caring family, Noelle.
A mother and a father. Oh, your father's not bad looking.
I'd lock down those privacy settings, Noelle.
Dead set, sound advice.
MICHAEL: Hey, Noelle.
Hey, pretty ladies.
You know, Venice is only a couple blocks from here.
That's where all the action is. You ladies have been out here
working pretty hard all day. You got a few minutes for a juice?
MICHAEL: Working the public isn't difficult.
You just need the right direction.
-Oh, okay. -Sweet.
Sorry, what? Who are you?
Michael. Michael Saxon.
[RUNWAY MUSIC]
Why aren't you two out being tourists? Two fine Australian
women like yourself should be out seeing the sights.
If you want me to help you expand this little business you
have, you're gonna have to come straight with me.
Debt. We've got gambling debt. We bet on a couple of turtles
with this scary guy, Benito and now we owe him ten grand.
Ow! Not good.
But if you find your niche on the boardwalk, you could make
that money back in time. Let's say, what, three months?
We've got three weeks.
Yeah, or he said he'd, um, kill us and torture us, so any
amount of help would be really appreciated.
TRUTH: Greetings, Michael. Ladies, my name is Truth.
[INDIAN LIKE SOUND EFFECT]
Ladies, your body is a temple. Please allow me to blend you
nature's fruits and nectars to nourish the vessel of your soul.
Um--
Yeah, we'll just get a water.
Yeah, I- I'll grab a water too, thanks.
A what?
-A water. -A water.
JOURNEY: They mean a water.
TRUTH: Let me share a great insight that I've gained since my
commencement of learning at the ashram. One should not drink
water as fish fornicate in it. It's filthy. Anyway, listen. I
couldn't help but to overhear that you are in financial
strains. So, please, let me offer you a lifetime twenty-five
percent discount to help you.
Well, you can use those discounts the next time, ladies.
These juices are on me. Consider it a welcome drink to
Michael's College of Boardwalk Knowledge.
I'll have my usual berry vanilla thriller with a double booster
shot of smooth mineral.
Ladies?
That-that's really nice but we-we just couldn't possibly.
Oh...wait, what's that one?
The Supercolossal, if you finish it all then it's free? Perfect.
Let's get that.
Not possible for one person to finish the Supercolossal.
Really, I insist. It's on me.
Perfect. Alright. Uh...
We'll have two of what he's having then.
Yeah, but we don't need the boosters.
The boosters for my juices are a natural fountain of youth.
Yes, ladies, of which my body is living proof.
Right. Can we boost it up then? Perfect.
He's a bit intense.
Oh, he's harmless.
The guy blends a great juice. He's an artist.
Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Blend.
Pour. Pour. Pour.
But do it Zen-like.
You have customers watching you.
Oops! I am out of this one.
I think I'll have to open a new one.
Your juices, Michael. And two for our visitors.
Thanks.
Enjoy your blend. Namaste.
Yeah.
Whoo.
Right-o, Michael. Hit us with the knowledge, uh?
I think I'm ready to focus. Really focus. I mean...
-Me too. -I can focus now.
-I'm ready to go. -Michael, we can't moonwalk.
And I hope you never can.
A honey like you with moves like that, put me out of business.
I'm just searching for the right advice to dispense.
Centering myself.
[POP DANCE MUSIC BEGINS]
Here it is. No matter what your performance is, the secret lies
in choosing a character that people already love.
And be those characters. Embody them. Let two become one.
Connect intimately. Feel them deeply inside of you.
Let your body and soul fuse.
I can see that there's a talented street performer inside
of you.
Might be if you keep playing your cards right, Michael.
Girls, you can borrow anything you want. I'm sure my boss would
agree that two lovely ladies performance qualifies as a good
cause.
Thanks, Nigel. You're an angel.
Imagine mum was here.
Yeah, she always loved a bit of a dress up, didn't she?
Ah...
hello, gentlemen. My word. And getting the puppies out
as well, Lizzo. We are bagging that even if it's not for
costume purposes. Fact.
No. I think it's-it's a bit too look at me.
Shut the front door!
I'm pretty sure mum has that exact same onesie.
Huh. Check it out. Fresh Prince of Bel Air? I'm Will.
You're Hillary.
We just need to--
Support each other?
I miss home.
And mum. But Michael seems to think we can do it and
he should know.
I believe in you guys.
What are you trying to do? What's upsetting you?
We should tell him the truth.
We just need to earn a little bit more money.
Nigel, we have ten thousand dollars gambling debt and we
have three weeks, well, two weeks and five days to pay it
back or we're dead. And that's why we're performing.
Oh. Huh.
Hey, Lizzo. I'm a bloke, a hairy bloke.
Oh, I'm gonna make a coat out of your beard
and sell it to all my little bu--
I was supposed to save these to put them on the mannequins, but
if you think they'd be helpful.
-I'm Harry Potter. -I'm Harry Potter.
-Oh, come on. -Come on, I'm the chosen one.
I'm the chosen one! No, because you are wearing
a beard and you're taller than me.
Yes.
Touché, Elizabeth.
Matilda, you'd make a beautiful Hagrid anyway.
I- Especially with those cheekbones.
So beautiful.
Nigel!
And you have very long legs.
They're not that long.
Okay, guys, so I think we've got everything.
Let's pack up and get to work.
It's just such a treat to be getting looked after by
such a charming guy.
Oh, it's nothing. I'm sure you have guys throwing themselves at
your feet all the time.
It's more like she's on her knees.
Your boyfriend is a very, very lucky guy.
I don't have a boyfriend.
Yeah, she doesn't have a boyfriend. It's more like heaps
of guys than just one.
You don't stay single for long.
Okay! Let's go, guys. Um, we've got to concentrate. We've got
work to do. So, let's get all our costumes and go.
I guess I could grab a juice. I- Actually, do you know what,
I'm kind of gagging for one.
Well, I'm sorry, Matilda, but I don't have the funds to procure
that for you at the moment.
I-I've actually- I've got a plan, I think.
♪MAGICAL SOUNDING MUSIC
Hi.
Good day, sirs.
Could I have your Supercolossal blend, please?
Okay, sure. Journey, can we have one Supercolossal, please.
It's a big drink.
I'm a big man. There it is. I've got it there.
Fine establishment you have here.
Yeah.
He's gone. He's gone.
Uh, all done.
Whoa! Wow. You finished it. How was it?
Marvelous. Toodledo.
Sucker!
We're sweet, hey. We've seen pretty much all of them. Well,
like four and you've read what, three?
Yeah, like three and a half. If you add up all the halves.
Yeah. No, we're practically professors on this shit.
It will- it will be really easy to freestyle.
Feel the fear of Voldemort. Have the hots for Hermione.
You know, and just get real on it. The scene will come.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah! Okay. Okay. Cool. Sorry.
No, no, we're alright.
Well...Looks like there's a few more people coming.
It might be an after school crowd or something.
-Yeah. -Let's make this shit count!
Let's make it count!
Ah, my head!
Shit. Are you alright?
Just play along.
Ah, shit. Are you alright?
Oh, it's my scar. It's burning.
Oh, poor Harry. Then, um, we should leave me cabin and go and
seek out Dumbledore.
But Dumbledore hasn't left the Ministry of Magic yet.
Well, sorry. We'll have to take the-the ring to Mordor
ourselves then.
That's exactly right, Hagrid.
Alright.
Come with me because when it's synchronized it's better.
Okay. Of course.
Yes.
♪Where's ma bitch McGonagall bucky don gone?♪
♪Lookin' ere where for her even in Snape's dungeon.♪
♪Me and ma Hags, we searchin' bags.♪
♪Checked the Ravenclaw common room and even on the front lawn♪
♪Cos Dumbledore ain't nowhere to be found.♪
♪This scar on my head is starting to pound♪
♪And I'm feeling like Voldemort's hanging around♪
♪Gandalf and Frodo are Mordor bound♪
♪Ring wraiths be cramping up on my potential.♪
♪Raining down on Hogwarts, curses coming torrential.♪
♪When it comes to Quidditch, I'm preferential♪
♪If ya wanna catch the snitch, he's your seeker essential.♪
♪Hogwarts is coming under fire.
♪And it's getting pretty dire.
♪Hogwarts is coming under fire.
♪Tell every hobbit in the shire.♪ Thank you, everybody!
And expelliarmus to you all!
That is our show!
Hashtag, uh, VenicePatronus.
Don't forget to tweet about us!
Hashtag VenicePatronus!
MACI: Oh, hey! Hey!
Hey, guys, that show was awesome. Just wanted to say.
Hey, it's us.
Oh, ho, ho, ho! Shit! Liz? Oh, man, that show was awesome.
COX: Huh. Hey!
-Yo. -Hey.
Formerly bearded babe.
Oh! It's Maci. No way!
-It's totally her, man. -Spicy caliente!
Busted!
Vroom, vroom, vroom! [TALKING OVER ONE ANOTHER]
Shit, it's been a while. You been good? Yeah?
So, what's going on around here?
Oh, we're just performing.
Right, yeah.
As officers of the law,ladies, though, we do have to ask
whether you have a permit.
-You need a permit. -Working--operating a business.
They've got permits.
They do? They got a permit?
Yeah, they got one.
Okay. Alright then. Well, uh-
So...
Yeah, we're gonna let that one slide.
Not our jurisdiction.
We actually end right down over down yonder,
Yeah, so.
We'll let the rest of the boys handle this area.
You know, it's kind of a gray area anyway, but...
Well, you guys, you know, you gotta, you gotta get one of
these, just in case. Our personal contact,
professional official deets.
Check out the picture.
That's us.
That's us at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas, Nevada.
Nevada. Yeah.
Anyway, if there's a fire or you need to be rescued then...
Give us a call.
Awesome. Great. Rescue this!
-Ooh! -Okay! Okay!
-Damn! -She's got the fire again.
Yeah. [GROWLING NOISES]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Awesome, alright, ten-four, ma'am.
-Ooh! Wow. -Shit.
-Totally...Oh, ho, ho! -Keep it go...Whoa!
She spits and all that ass!
-Nasty ladies! -Spit on it! Spit on it!
-Alright! -Damn, girl, I like it!
Bye!
Those d-bags can go fist themselves.
Yeah.
So what are you doing here?
Oh, I'm a teacher's aide, so I like to come down and get
inspiration for class.
So, you work with kids?
Yeah, I just love those little suckers.
Hey, you want to hang out soon, yeah? What?!
Oh, hi, Daddy. I gotta go. Hi. Bye.
Bye. Dude. eighty-one dollars in our first session.
What! What! What! What! What!
-We are rippers! -I know!
We're never gonna have to tell mum.
Hey, she's never gonna have to know.
Yeah. I know.
I'm really excited. I think, I think we should go celebrate.
Yes! Okay, let's go get dinner.
Yeah!
But I don't think we should spend all the money, so.
That we just made. We should probably just go back home.
Come on. We don't want to get burnt out.
Yeah, but we need to be responsible.
No, live a little. Come on! Fire up, mate.
Let's go get some dinner. To the juice bar.
Okay. To the juice bar!
And I've had to say to the customers on numerous, numerous
occasions that I, I cannot and I will not ever serve the flesh of
a once-living creature. One's- one's body is the, um...uh,
temple in which the spirit lingers. And consuming an animal
would only incite conflict between the spirits within our
own bodily temple. And I, I'm not saying that, you know,
plants themselves are--
Do you mind if I grab the check?
--but the plant soul is opposed in harmony
with the animal soul together.
Fifty bucks?!
Yeah. That's with your discount and it doesn't include the tip.
The plant's soul is evolved and we must also never--
[WHISTLE]
I, I'll be with you in a minute, sir.
We must never forget--
I'm sorry. I just want to stop you there. When we asked about
the specials and you recommended that bean thing, um, you knew
that it was five times the price of absolutely everything else on
the printed menu?
You said you were celebrating.
Yeah. Well, we didn't want to celebrate that much.
How about some dessert for everybody?
Dessert sounds, uh, marvelous.
Today we have a, uh, a vegan carrot cake and a, a raw date
and cacao brownie.
It's fresh!
It's really...
-Bye, ladies. -Bye!
Ah! He totally knew that it was us with the whole Supercolossal
thing. How he kept saying marvelous all the time.
At least we got a dinner out of it, you know? It's not like we
completely blew our wad. And I mean we earned a hundred bucks
almost in the first sitting. We got ages to go.
We'll be alright. Don't worry about it.
No, we have to earn four times the Potter amount every single
day to break even and at the moment, school kids are our
demographic. And they're only around like afternoons and
weekends.
LOCAL GIRL: Spare some money, please?
Have a good one, mate.
So, I guess it's just about scheduling. We have to maximize
our time somehow, you know?
Alright. Well, alright, then we spend all tomorrow down on the
boardwalk doing like recon?
Figure out who's down there, what time.
Okay. And then we can pair the demographics age business.
Yeah, that's a good idea. I mean,
we'll lose a day, but I reckon in the long run it's better.
Sweet.
Okay. So at least we've got one profitable business that Michael
helped us set up.
Thank god for Nigel giving us these mad costumes, eh?
As much as our predicament truly does suck balls, Lizzo, I am so
glad it's you that I'm stuck with and not some blow-in.
You are sensible. You have got a good head on your shoulders.
Dude, you're my responsibility. In a good way. You know, like
mum and dad they were just such crooks and I feel like...
They are innocent, hey.
Dude, they're as guilty as sin. But yo, you and mum are my real
family now. And I feel like mum would be really proud of us if
she saw what we were doing.
Yeah, I mean after the initial ten years or so of disowning us,
I reckon she'd be really proud
of our teamwork in this situation.
Do you think she would disown us?
I would not put it past her.
It's funny to think she's just on the other side of the ocean.
Do you reckon when the sun sets here it's like,
rising over there, over there?
No, cause it's like only seven hours ahead, so.
Oh yeah. No, you're right.
That's a nice thought though.
-Is it? -Yeah.
[WATER AND WIND CRASHING]
♪SOFT PIANO MUSIC
♪UPBEAT LATIN MUSIC
[DISTANT CROWD VOICES]
Yup. Just as I suspected. Babes everywhere, Lizzo.
Every hour. You can note that down.
Mate, be careful with the binoculars.
We've gotta give them back to Pits.
His name is Nigel.
Whatever, just don't bloody break them.
I don't actually know why we need these anyway. Like I can
see fine right here. And they're kind of giving away my creep
game, to be honest.
Nah. The beauty of this plan is that I can check out everything
that's going on here and you can look further away so we cover
more distance in less time. Not just a hatrack my friend.
Oh, hello, sweetheart.
Oh, mate, you dropped your wallet.
[WHISTLES]
Anyway, what you need to focus on is finding someone that you
might like, right? You know, so that we can have you experience
the warm spunk of a hunk across those excellent hands of yours.
No. And that is foul.
I'll tell you what's foul.
We are two exotic birds in a foreign land.
Just waiting to get poached. Alright? By babes.
And you are hindering that opportunity for both of us with
this neg attitude.
Let's just go over the observations that we've made so
far and then we can come up with a contingency plan and we can
see where the holes in our market are.
Can you at least acknowledge my bird pun just now?
So far, we've had hippies, hobos, tourists, obviously.
We've seen a lot of dogs.
Maybe we could do a dog wash or something.
What about all these fit bastards though?
What about them? What do they like?
Getting more fit.
Yes. Maybe we could do a fitness dance class. We could
get Michael to help us with some moves.
Michael. We get Michael involved, could we?
Hey, you dropped something.
Dude, you didn't actually drop anything.
Hello, ladies. How's it all going?
Yeah, good, thanks, Pits. I mean, Nigel. How are you?
Oh, I was hoping to have a barbecue tonight.
I just came to get some food.
Oh, sweet.
Of course you ladies are invited. You can invite some
friends if you'd like.
Great. Who else have you got coming?
No one. Just sort of a whim, actually.
Oh, well, maybe we could see if Maci and Michael want to come.
If that's alright with you.
Yeah. Sure. Friends of yours are friends of mine, Cuz.
Alright, I'll have one of those. Alright.
I just hate turning up empty handed.
No, it's fine, man. He knows we don't have any money.
Not a penny to our name.
Ladies.
[SPANISH GUITAR STRUM]
What a pleasant surprise.
Hi, Benito. Hi there.
Just wanted to check up on the progression.
You didn't think I'd forget about you.
Did you?
No. Uh, no, we didn't think. No.
We- we'll have the money in time.
There's no need for the knife.
Good. Now run along, ladies.
You heard the man. Run.
MIERDA! [Shit!]
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
Is it gluten free? Huh? Just keep filing. Ay, ay, ay.
You can't get good help anymore. Ay.
Speak.
Mr. Juan Carlos.
The two girls are on track to have your money by the deadline.
Then why do you call me?! Why do you waste my time?!
Ay, ay, ay! How many times I tell you?
Who are you?
JOSE: Jose. From the turtle operation on the Nevada state line. Uh,
I brought this month's earnings for you.
Jose.
I just got a phone call from your compadre, Benito. Si?
It seems he is wasting his time in the desert with these two
puta putanas.
And he tells me that you are responsible for bringing these
penniless putas into the whole thing. Ah?
Este verdad? [Is that the truth?]
Poquito. [A little bit.]
Poquito, my eye. Poquito, here!
[GUNSHOT]
What's the matter with you? You got no respect? Look at you!
You're bleeding all over my deck.
You're going to ruin the wood.
Ay, ay, ay! Get out of my casa! [Get of my house!]
[GUNSHOT]
You still manage to stay so slim even though you eat so many
sausages, Tilda.
The perfect woman.
It seems that Australia is in the habit of producing of
perfect women.
PATTI: You guys cannot have barbecue without permission.
Pick up. Pick up right now!
Relax, Patti. Have a beer. Take a seat and join us.
How's your day?
Mm. Hey, sweetie, you want a soda?
Oh, yeah. JJ and I had a good day.
We have a nice tan. We got our nail done.
Sounds like you two are primed for a good time.
Oh, yeah. We love party.
Hey, is my beer coming or what?
Sure. Of course. Uh, Michael, I think the- the cooler's over by
you.
Oh, I thought this was my own private supply.
I'm just kidding, man. I-I don't drink.
Oh, well, can we get you something else, like a tea or a
coffee?
Uh, coffee, please.
Okay. Black or white?
Doesn't matter.
Michael, you are too much.
I can learn a thing or two from you in the way of smoothness.
What up, M-word?
What?
My new pal.
No, no, no. Wh-wh-what did you just call me?
The M-word.
The N-word?
Huh? No. What? No, uh, M-word.
Yeah, the N-word.
You think that's okay?
No, no, no, no, no. M.
Not N as in knickers.
What did you just call me?!
Nigel, chuck us your phone.
Ha. Ha.
I'm just winding you up. That's your first street cred lesson,
Nige.
Anyway, so ladies. You want to teach jazz aerobics as well as
do your show.
From what I saw yesterday, you're gonna need some help.
Maybe we could employ people.
Mm. There are a lot of homeless people on Venice.
I could put the word out.
Oh, don't know about homeless people. They might have like
drugs and stuff and we wouldn't want... Uh, yeah, that would be
nice. Thanks, Michael.
This iBone app is genius.
I'm actually watching you two bone. Right now.
Well done, Nigel.
It was your idea. I just--
These two are actually boning right before our eyes.
It's quite graphic. You are a minx.
Alright? And Michael, you work out, don't you, mate?
You work out heaps, right?
Now we just sit back and wait for the one ninety-nine
downloads to roll in.
Yeah, right. In the meantime, how about we earn some money
outside the realm of smut.
JJ: Slut.
What did you say to me?!
Little shit, you are way past the cute age!
♪ACCORDION MUSIC
[BIRDS CHIRPING SOUND]
[STRANGE SOUND]
Morning.
Hey!
Hey, this is a great place.
Thank you.
Hey, what are you doing on my property?
No, no, no, no, Patti, it's fine.
They're- she's my mate.
You know, Michael sent us. He said that you guys needed
some help.
-Oh, yes. -Great.
Well, put us to work. What do you say?
[INSTRUMENTAL PIANO MUSIC]
Thanks.
RADIO: Oh, money!
Ladies and gentlemen, you are listening to K-ARAVAN F.M.
Are you a jacked man-babe, just waiting to get discovered?
Then get on down to our calendar comp for beach babes.
Why not relax to a double CD
or cassette Tupac-inspired flute collection?
It's a Tupac 2-pack flute pack, fool.
♪GET IN MY BUSINESS, FUCK ON MY RICHES♪
♪YOU BOUND TO ME MY MISSUS
Bitches and Hose dog wash is an all-service experience.
Bitches hate nothing about bows and treats.
[CASH REGISTER SOUND EFFECT]
Stupefy!
Avada Kedavra!
[SCREAMING]
Come on down and have a Hufflepuff on that gillyweed.
That's not funny.
And get a golden snitch up your horcrux!
Oh!
Why not check out these beachside jazz-aerobics and
couples yoga classes.
Alright then. If everyone would like to stretch down into the
Eiffel Tower pose.
Uh, that's about right.
Do they look more than friends to you?
They're just following us, mate.
Alright, doggie. Downward doggie dog style pose.
Hey, bendy ladies.
Yeah, hey. Yo, yo. What are you doing?
You got a permit to be operating a business down here?
Uh...
You know what? We're, uh, gonna let this slide.
-Let it slide? Let it slide. -We're gonna let it slide.
[SNAPSHOT SOUND EFFECT]
Suspicious beaver.
[LAUGHING AND CASH REGISTER SOUND]
♪HIT LIKE A HAMMER CAUSE I CAN
♪UNDERSTAND BEEN DOIN' THIS SINCE THE 90'S♪
♪NEVER BEEN HARD TO FIND ME
♪MONEY'S THE LONGEST, ALL ABOUT PERFECT TIMING♪
♪IN THE RIGHT PLACE, AT THE RIGHT TIME♪
♪IN THE TIGHT RACE, IN MY RIGHT MIND♪
♪BAD LUCK NEED A LIFELINE
Get on down there, get involved, get sweaty and for heaven's
sakes, boys, get your shirts off.
[INDISTINCT AND NONSENSICAL NOISES]
-Hey. -Hey.
Embrace your friends.
Okay.
Guys, we've- we've almost done it.
Nine thousand eight hundred and eleven dollars.
We couldn't have done it without you. Thank you so much, Michael.
Don't stop till you get enough. There's still two hundred
dollars to go.
Well, we were actually planning on, um, throwing a party and
charging entry and making the rest back that way.
And I'm gonna exhibit my porcelain plates and hold a
silent auction for them.
Obviously, you don't have to pay to come in.
You can come for free.
So, it's tomorrow night, eight p.m. at the caravan.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, guys. Did I, uh, hear you're looking for a
venue to host your fundraiser?
No, no, we're gonna have it.
No, no, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay.
You could have it here.
Yeah, right-o, Truth. How much is that gonna cost us?
Oh my god, guys. Nothing! Come on. I just simply would love to
host your righteous quest finale.
Well, it would be good for your business.
And Patti would prefer it.
-Uh, it is a great venue. -Yeah.
Alright. I guess it would save on set up costs and hassle and
stuff. -Alright great. Awesome, guys.
So, it's party at Truth's tomorrow night.
Party!
[PARTY MUSIC BEGINS]
Mm. His work clearly draws inspiration from the masters.
Van Gogh the earlier works of Matisse.
Cupcake! Cupcake! Everybody, cupcake!
JJ, that's not for you, no. Put it back.
It's gonna make you fat. No husband like a fat girl.
Put it back.
Cupcake!
Patti Gone to a lot of effort. That was very thoughtful.
Is there any nice man around here?
Oh. I mean, I'd say that there are a few.
Hm. May I have one?
Oh, sure. You need to fatten up. How you skinny girl gonna have a
baby?
So, anyway, the seagull was fixing the penguins car and-and
the penguin is standing there eating ice cream. The white ice
cream got all over his mouth. And- and the seagull looks up
from the hood of the car and he says-
It looks like you've blown a seal.
Oh, my god!
Everybody, listen up! Listen up!
We have exceeded our goal of ten thousand one hundred and
fifty-five dollars.
Yay!
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Whoa.
Well, why don't you just go and hook up with each other then?
You're both horrible people.
I think I'd better put you to bed.
Oh, that would be a thriller!
Hey, Tilda, Tilda tail feather! What's up, girl?
Lizzo, are you alright, mate? Do you want to maybe take a seat?
That's a bit rich, coming from you. Look at yourself.
So cool with your face.
Did you just think that I wouldn't notice?
Like that I was like some dumb-dumb or some-some?
Well, I've got news for yous two both.
One, two.
My news is that family can't be trusted!
Well, how could you do this to me, especially when you know
that I hate substances and what they did to my life?!
What's wrong, Lizzo? Are you alright, mate?
Can I get you a water?
You can get me a glass of shut up and stop talking to me,
troll.
Yeah. Well, Matilda, I am gonna take the money. Mm-hm. Yep.
I'm the only trustworthy person around here. Did you all know
that?
I am taking this! Give this to me! How do I know that he's not
in cahoots too, you know?
Mm-hm. Probably a user.
Everything's gonna be set for me! Tootle-Loo.
I will text somebody when I get home, so you all know that I am
safe. I'm sensible.
[INDISTINCT MUTTERING AND MURMURING]
[THE SOUND OF SEAGULLS AND WAVES CRASHING]
Hey. Nothing. Still nothing.
Okay. Um, do you want to come in and have something to eat? And--
Then we'll keep looking. Okay.
Oh. Hey guys.
You're alive.
Yeah.
Where's the money?
Huh? What- what money? What? Don't you have it?
No. I do not have the money because you have the money that
is keeping us alive.
Well, when I woke up I just had nothing. Just nothing.
Nothing?
Where are you going?
She's calling mum.
[PHONE RINGING]
Hello.
Hello, mum?
Matilda? What-what's happened? Are you alright?
Mum, we owe someone money. We lost a bet.
A bet? You were gambling?
Yeah. We're- we're in a lot of trouble.
After everything that's happened with your father?
This family put gambling to rest a long time ago!
Are you that telling me you've ignored
the only thing I've ever asked of you, Tilda?
Momma, we need your help.
Oh, help. Don't you dare use me as your get out of jail free
card. Not over something like this.
Ma, I know you're disappointed.
Disappointed doesn't even begin to describe it.
I have worked very hard to bring you two up without gambling in
your lives, to- to shape you into decent, hard-working women.
Oh!
Mum, I'm really stuck.
No, Matilda. You got yourselves into this and
you need to learn the hard way.
You're on your own.
More harm than good.
Why didn't you just lie to her? You're really good at that.
I'm really good at lying, am I? That's what I should have done?
That would have been the responsible thing to do?
This isn't all my fault. Okay?
Whose fault is it then?
I don't know. Maybe I just got-
Got so filthy drunk...
-Whoa. Me filthy drunk? -You lost--
You were the one knee-deep in uppers or downers or whatever
the hell you were doing, you big party pig. Oh, Matilda, always
gotta have the best time. -What hell are you--
Every single time something goes wrong, it's always me who
figures it out. Oh, let's just leave it up to Liz. Okay?
I'm sick of it!
I'm gonna figure out myself this time without you.
Oh, good luck wielding all that talent of yours on the
boardwalk.
Go to hell, Matilda!
I'll be there soon, thanks to you, mate!
♪MELANCHOLY PIANO MUSIC
[PIANO MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
Michael?
Baby girl, come here. Oh, man, I was looking for you.
Why do drugs, out of everything in my life, just always mess
everything up?
Wait. Whoa-whoa, what do you mean, drugs?
What do you think what I mean? Matilda at the party.
She was doing drugs!
Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure. I didn't come down in the last shower.
They had white powder all over their faces. Her and Nigel were
sitting down in- at the party in front of everyone. And now she's
trying to blame it on me. And where do you think they got the
money for that? They're probably double dipping out of our
savings jar. Great teamwork for a bunch of crackheads.
Do you really remember all that or are you just kind of filling
in the blanks?
I think I know white powder over someone's face when I see it.
[OLD TIME MUSIC BEGINS]
Oh, boy. Yeah. I really messed up.
Oh, it just sucks without her.
You know she has every right to be mad. But she didn't put you
out. You put yourself out.
No. She didn't want me there.
Can you think of what you did with the money?
Oh, I don't know. I mean, I don't know how I could
just lose it all.
Well, she needs you just as much as you need her. The bond you
have. Your ability to achieve together is like nothing I've
ever seen.
Yeah, she hates me though. I let her down and I let
everyone down.
You need to forget your pride, get back there and figure
something out. You two have something special. You can- you
can fix this. Liz--
I think you're awesome. Always have.
I'm crazy about you.
Is there any crawl space underneath Pattie's house?
Maybe I could hide in there for a while and you could just bring
me food. I can't believe she just walked out like that. God!
Self-righteous pain in my ass.
We're gonna fix this, the two of us.
In fact, I already have a plan.
You do?
Ready to think clearly now.
Yeah, yeah, Juice bar. Half an hour.
Who was that?
Oh, nobody.
We have to leave in twenty minutes.
♪SHE LIGHTS UP ANY ROOM SHE'S IN♪
♪SHE'S GOT THIS GLOWY THING, HAPPENING♪
♪AND I KNOW THAT WHAT I'M SAYIN--♪
-You have the money? -Oh my...
Where's the other one?
Wo- we'll have the money tomorrow when it's due.
It's confirmed.
You will have the money?
She said she'll have it.
Five p.m. Here. If not, I'll find you.
[HORROR MUSIC BEGINS]
[EXOTIC, FLUTE MUSIC]
What is it then?
Hoo, we- Thanks.
I got you a juice. It's your favorite flavor.
With what money?
I- It's a peace offering. Uh, Mango Mayhem with good vibes
booster. Just give- give her a chance.
Okay, I'm really sorry about everything that happened.
It was totally my fault. Dude, I mean, you mean the world to
me. Okay? We're pals. You're my- you're my best friend and I
can't picture doing this without you. Okay? You're smiling.
Gotcha. We got into this debt together and I think
if Benito's going to kill us tomorrow, then we should do that
together too.
I love you, Lizzo. I can't, of course I forgive you.
Well, good.
Move it.
Grasshopper, can you get some more mangos, please?
We're not going to let this kill us.
Ladies, did I overhear that you expect to be getting killed
tomorrow?
Mm.
Such an early severance to such glowing auras of potential.
We're actually trying to avoid that.
Yeah, we're gonna come up with a plan.
But something evil is lurking in the dark.
Wow, I had no inkling of your troubles.
Have you considered perhaps escaping them?
We can't just flee. This guys' got a reputation to uphold.
We'll get lynched crossing the border.
Yes. But if you stay he'll probably chop a finger off every
day until you have no fingers left. Kinda sorta like a prelude
to your impending death by hanging.
For heavens' sake, there's no need for the imagery.
Oh my god, he's going to kill you.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not if you get to him first.
I mean, we're not gonna kill someone. I'm not gonna end up in
the clink like Mom and Dad.
No...I mean, you kill yourselves. You see, you cant
actually collect debt from a dead person.
-Oh, okay. Too easy. -Perfect.
Let's lock that in then.
No, I don't actually mean kill yourselves.
You mean like, fake it.
Yes.
Well, that just sounds like a whole new nightmare.
Well, does anybody have a bloody better idea?
Oh, no, you said... Nigel's got an idea, though.
Well, that wasn't really, well, a formal plan.
I was just trying to get you down here.
Okay.
Alright then. Great. Great. Killing ourselves it is.
Pretending to kill ourselves. And how are we going to do that
exactly? Everybody? Hm?
Ladies, it would be my honor to assist you on your noble quest
for freedom. I mean, I kinda actually do have a little bit of
experience with this kind of thing.
What do we need to do?
Okay. Tomorrow morning at six a.m. I want both of you to meet
me in front of the juice shop alone. Bring a car.
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
You have to come and get me. Come on, Jacinta.
What's the matter with you? Are you cold, Jacinta? Huh?
Look, no hot sauce? No aguacate? [No avocado?]
Am I an animal? Huh?
Oh, look at you. You look like a drowned rat. Well, smile for me,
Jacinta. You go in the house and get yourself cleaned up.
Mala! [Bad!]
[CELL PHONE CONTINUES TO RING WITH AN 80'S KIDS TONE]
Speak.
Mr. Juan Carlos. It is Benito. You will have the ten thousand
for the two girls tomorrow. I just checked.
Benito! How many times I tell you, don't you call me until you
got the money in your damn hands!
PINCHE CABRON! [effing asshole]
Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay! Ay, you puto! Here, you talk to your
brother pito! Son of a bitch.
[PHONE RINGS]
Juan Carlos.
Steven Craig. What, you still a loco hombre, huh? [a crazy man]
You call me at ridiculous hour.
I understand there are two girls who owe you ten grand and they
plan to fake their own deaths to escape you.
Well, I have been informed otherwise.
Oh, yeah. Okay. From whom? Benito?
He's useless, Juan. He's infantile.
Benito es infantile? Huh. Benito is imbecile. Benito is mierda.
I have to kill him. And then, then I have to kill these
two puta putanas, you know? Because I got the reputation
I have to maintain. I don't care, if it's a million dollars
or only ten pesos. Nobody takes money from
Juan Carlos and lives to tell the tale.
I will tell you where they're going to be if you just get your
men off my back and let me do business like I used to.
So, you can bring me to these two girls, my old friend,uh?
The wheels are in motion.
[BIRDS CHIRPING SOUNDS]
Tilda! The guys could be targeted once we're dead.
Okay, we've got to go. We've got to go. Wake up. Wake up, guys.
Guys. Michael, wake up. You're gonna have to go into hiding.
And I think the-the juice shop's probably the best place to go.
Okay, let's go.
Hey, Maci. Thanks heaps.
Yeah, just take care of my baby.
-We'll see you at the juice bar. -Alright. Good luck with
whatever it is you're doing.
Thanks, Maci!
Yeah!
Don't tell anyone you saw us, alright?
Got it.
Okay, guys, we're getting close. I have everything prepped, okay?
Make sure you look the other way if another car pulls up.
That's very important. You don't want them to be able to identify
you. Okay? Perfect.
Let's go around back.
[OMINOUS SOUNDS]
-Are you okay? -Yeah.
The money.
The girls!
Okay, I'll be watching from the distance as a lookout, okay?
Now, you guys know what to do.
You know if we do this...
Times' up, Lizzo. We're out of options.
Do you think all this is necessary?
[GUITAR STRUMMING]
Alright. Where are these two chicas?
Mavron.
I should have known you would try to pull a fast one on me.
Did you like really think I was going to do you a favor, man,
after what you did to me? I mean, hello! Come on!
Check you out, man. You are like so losing your mojo.
Alright, Benito. You know what to do.
Pronto, Benito. [Now, Benito.]
Mi chili rellenos are getting cold in the car.
Pinche cabron! [Fucking asshole!]
[SPANISH GUITAR STRUMMING CONTINUES]
Dude, Maci's going to be so pissed.
No, we're earn her money for a new car once we get this gang
off our backs.
Um, there is a car pulling up. We gotta act cool. Be cool.
Be cool. Be cool. Be cool.
Shit. Um, we'll just like don't look back because of what
Truth said. So just pretend we're looking at the
view or something.
So, um, how is Michael?
He's actually like wow.
-What? -Yeah.
Did you guys... You guys boned?
[SHE GIGGLES]
Shut up. He's huge, Isn't he? He's massive.
Well, dude, I don't really have anything t-to compare it to, but
like how's you and Nigel, eh? Taught him a move or two,
didn't ya?
Aren't you a sore sport? No, Nigel and I are fine. But like
we're kinda taking it a little bit slower.
Really?
Yeah. I think... I think I love him. I think I'm in love.
Tilda. Mate, that-that's awesome.
I know.
You guys make a good couple for sure.
Yeah, I don't know. We're... I just want to not bugger it up,
I guess.
You won't, mate. Just be yourself.
Yeah. Bet you and Michael can stick together.
Thanks, man. He's pretty cool. He's like the nicest guy ever.
Should we turn around and see? Or no?
I don't think we should.
Truth?
Come on, girls. I got the getaway car. Let's go.
Okay.
It's go time.
Go! Go! Go!
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC BEGINS]
The direct line to the cops.
No wonder Liz was so out of control at the party.
He must have drugged her to take the money.
Steven Craig.
Hm.
Oh, hello. Officers?
Hey, babe. You over twenty-one? Ha ha. I'm just kidding.
This ain't my jurisdiction.
Officer Cox. What's the four one one?
Uh, i-i-it's a kidnapping and a theft. Hell, there's a drug bust
too. Just get down to Truth's Juices as soon as you can and
put the search out for two Australian women.
He's not even vegetarian!
Wait, Juan Carlos. This is the guy who Uncle Baz and Auntie
Raelene were dealing with just before they went to prison.
Dear Mr. Craig, Thank you for your services this year.
May we dig holes together for many more opals in the future.
Opals. Wait. Craig Cargo? These guys killed my granny.
Seren-bloody-dipity. Not just a pretty face, is he?
You see, since the nineties, Juan Carlos had been the head
honcho of the American sports gambling world.
So, when the Wentworth's threatened to bring in their
champion greyhound - Juan Carlos stood to lose a lot.
So, he decided to stop it.
BAZ: Ah, fair suck of the old sav, Juan Carlos. Ya boofhead!
So Juan Carlos chose to demonstrate how serious he was.
He gave Truth, Steven Craig, a call to arrange a hit.
See, Steven had been fired from a large pharmaceutical company.
But he'd made the right connections to very quickly
become something of a local drug lord.
And being the drop kick that he is, he happily agreed...
sending ultra-potent heroin disguised as blood pressure
medication to Grandma Opal.
Do not push me too far, Mr. Wentworth.
Oh, Juan Carlos, you flaming mongrel. I will not back down.
That was the biggest mistake of Baz's life. Juan Carlos
decided to make him suffer... so he sent a shipment of heroin
to the Wentworth's, tipped off the cops, and framed them as
drug dealers and murderers. And that was curtains for the
Wentworth empire.
Of course, Juan Carlos saw an opportunity to make more money
and decided he wanted Steven's drug operation to himself. So,
he muscled in and closed it down.
Well, Steven went into hiding then reemerged, having
reinvented himself into a hemp-wearing yogi juice bar
owner. A perfect drug front for a small-scale operation.
Liz's parents are innocent.
I'm gonna make him wish he never heard the name Michael Saxon.
[BLENDER WHIRRING]
Officers!
Yeah, we got here pretty quick, huh?
Yeah, you guys said something about a drug bu-
Ho! Holy! God!
That is a lot of cocaine.
Alright, well, we better take some pictures of this before,
uh, before it all disappears, huh?
♪IT'S, IT'S, IT'S, IT'S MY PARTY, PARTY, PARTY♪
Okay, girls, so I-I'm kinda guessing you're gonna
want to go into hiding.
Guessing? I thought you had the whole thing figured out for us.
I did. It's done.
Come on. Come on. Ah, come on, come on, Ladies, don't look so
shaken, alright? I'm gonna fix you some nice relaxation juices.
Wait a minute.
Someone's been in here.
Hm. Amateurs.
Put your hands in the air, sir!
Ho, ho, whoa, man. You don't have anything on me.
Oh, really? We got nothing on you, huh? What about this?
-Uh... -Show him- show him...
Show him the drugs. Pull out the drugs.
Boo-yah!
So you think you could take me? Yeah?
Shit, was that you?
Asshole! That was ours!
Goddamn!
Shamona!
-Shit! -Wait, wait, wait! Cuffs! Cuffs!
Okay, go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Cuff him.
Put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye!
Liz. Girls. Are you safe?
Yeah. What is this, a drug bust?
-Yes ma'am. Indeedy-deedy. -Yeah. It's a bust. Yeah.
Wait.
Is this the shit you've been putting in our
drinks the whole time?
Come on. The Ritalin helped you work better, didn't it?
I was just doing you a favor.
What. Getting them to earn all that money with impressive
efficiency... just so you could steal it from them?
You!
POLICE OPERATOR: All available units. Two bodies have been recovered from a trunk
of a vehicle wreckage.
Oh, hey. No, no, no, no, no. It was them.
It was them. I saw them do it. They pushed
the car off the cliff.
I have video on my cell phone to prove it.
Holy shit, you guys! I just got a call that my car fell off some
cliff? What the hell...?
Oh, hey! I haven't seen you guys today. How's it going?
It's totally her... Oh! It's Maci! Hey!
What's up?
It was him. He threatened us with torture.
Yeah. One finger at a time, he said. And a hanging.
Yeah, a hanging.
And we did not know there was people in the car.
We had no idea. We really did not know that until just now.
Juan Carlos was a tyrant and a parasite. Alright, it was my
service to the country!
Dude, you killed Juan Carlos?
-You shot that man? -He was like the big boy.
-You are incredible. -That is awesome, man.
The-the same Juan Carlos who you killed Grandma Opal with?
Yeah. I mean- Oh.
Not exactly your first offense, is it?
Tell us your real name, Truth.
Tell us the truth, Steve.
Dude, you are so very badly under arrest.
Always wanted to say that.
So, our parents are innocent.
Suffer in your jocks, mate, you prized bloody asshole.
Wait.
Oh, hey, oh, come on! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
Come on, wait, wait, man.
So my car.
[PHONE RINGING]
Hello.
Hey, mum.
Oh, Matilda.
Oh, I'm so glad you called. Oh god, I've been feeling terrible.
Hey, um, did you hear anything about Dad and Raelene getting
released?
I didn't know how to get ahold of you. Are you okay?
So, we're not in trouble anymore?
Oh, I can't stay angry at you. Anyway, it's just made me
realize more than ever that family comes first having Baz
and Raelene here.
RAELENE: Hi, girls. We're out of the clink!
Is that you, guys? Mum? Dad?
Yeah!
Yeah! And that bloody Juan Carlos and his mongrel crime
mob they got blown apart by some deadset vigilante legends
over there in the States!
And how's your bus tour going, girls?
Oh, it's going great. Thanks, mum.
Um, but actually we're about to come home.
We're bringing our boyfriends.
-Oh, lovely. -Yeah!
Yeah, you mean Liz has got a boyfriend too?
I-I've thought she might have been a rug muncher.
Whatever makes you happy, dear.
Thanks, mum. See you soon. Love you.
Love you. Bye bye.
Hurry home, girls. We miss you.
We miss you. Loves yas.
[OVERLAPPING] Bye! Bye!
Any casinos on the way to the airport?
Don't want to stop in and roll the dice, do we?
No?
Right-o.