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I told you from our first date
not to bring anyone with you
Instead you bring your brother, your sister, your nephew
We are never alone, we are always in three!
You promised me: "Tomorrow, who knows…"
"It'll be only me… with my mother!"
You, your mom, and I walking around Toledo
We walk ahead and you mother walks behind us
You, your mom, and I
Always together. It's crazy!
She even came on our honeymoon!
When we go to the movies or dancing, and we try to make out
like a policeman she's always there and stops us
But I'm in love,
so I have given up on this
I don't fight this anymore
You, your mom, and I
What consolation! You, your mom, and I
I'm done with this problem! You, your mom, and I
Saint Genaro gave me a miracle
The other day she couldn't get out of bed
She had a fever, it looked like she was dying
I almost believed that just the two of us would go out
Then I heard your mother's little voice
"The little girl will go with you"
Me, your sister and you went to bar Chiatamone
"Do you want an ice cream or a drink?"
Whatever costs more!
As a souvenir of that day,
at the Villa they took our picture
She wanted a balloon, a sweet, and she didn't want to walk!
I looked at her and I thought I'd throw her in the sea!
I gave up
I am in love
I don't fight it anymore
My love, you are always with your family
Your family is more like a tribe They come from Milan, from the east
And all these people are always around!
An old aunt who lives in Cefalù
came here and she never left!
Me, your aunt and you
Poor one, she is sickly
Every now and then she faints
Me, your aunt and you
Fresh eggs, mozzarella
We only get around by carriage!
I am paying for everything, who is going to pay me back?
It's either I dump you now, or next month I'll be broke
You put me in trouble, I should marry another
I don't wanna see you ever again
You, you mom, and I
Me, your father, your brother, your sister
- Freedom is here! - No, Mrs. Amalia!
I'm breaking free!
You could never find a mother like me!
Mrs. Amalia, you're not a mother, you are two mothers,
two mothers-in-law, all the mothers-in-law in the world!
Before you speak to me rinse your mouth out with rosewater!
We nurtured a viper in our bosom.
You shut up! You're not worthy of naming vipers!
They are holy animals of God.
You promised to take me to the sanctuary in Pompeii!
Aunt Maria, walk to Pompeii, like the pilgrims.
Nicolino, if you want to go, go, but you will find me in the hospital!
- I will kill myself! - Move it!
- I want to kill myself! - Move it.
Nicolino left and he's never coming back!
He's never coming back!
It's over.
I am sorry for her.
What do I care?
I'll marry an orphan and I'll do something good.
Above all else, I'll have some peace.
Good evening.
Hi, Gaetano.
Nicolino, so you're not dead! I haven't seen you in four shows!
Now you will see me more, I broke up with the mother.
- With the mother? - The mother, Carmelina…
In this country, to be engaged is like being a slave.
Fortunately you realized this. Now you are free and relaxed.
- Framing! - Damn!
You can't relax for one minute in this movie theater.
Nicolino, you did good.
Here, drink some wine.
What are you doing?
Don Gaetano, what are you doing? Sleeping?
- What? - It's still the first part.
- And so? - We've already seen this!
You'll understand the story better.
You are ignorant. You need to see things twice!
- What now? - Wait for the end of the movie. Go.
Nicolino, what are you thinking?
Without Carmelina, I'm better off dead.
What did the bus driver ever do to you?
If you want to ruin yourself, marry her.
Easy for you to say!
Her mother told me: "Carmelina is still a little girl".
"Only after three years can you know each other well enough."
Not even a marriage last three years!
And she says I don't have a steady job.
Does she know that you run this movie theater?
- She hates movie theaters, she prefers TV. - How disgusting!
- Who does she want for her girl? - I know!
Giosuè ruined me.
SEAHORSE
Giosuè had arms as big as roller coasters!
I don't like them, they make me sick.
You have to marry a strong man, a sailor like your dad.
Nicolino is strong, he's stronger than dad and he doesn't have any ugly tattoos.
Ungrateful. How dare you offend your dad's tattoos?
She's killing me.
Instead of arguing, come to the table. It's getting cold!
- I'll still eat it. - Amalia, let her be.
Carmelina didn't want to offend him.
Annunziata, you know what the rose tattoo means to me.
You told me many times! You are the rose.
He got the tattoo so I could always be with him.
They don't make men like that anymore!
They all died with him in that shipwreck.
May they rest in peace. Some more.
Today these poor girls
have to settle for these scrawny men that are left.
Nicolino is one of the good ones.
I don't want to end up an old hag like aunt Maria!
You'd wish to end up like me. I'm a respectable woman.
I never got married because I always hated men.
Mom says that you were born a hag.
- Did you say that? - It's not true!
It's too much! It's too much!
- Maria… - I'm leaving.
- Why? - I'm going back to Benevento.
Maria, what are you doing? You know that we love you!
Ugly gossiper!
Now that we got that all out, we are finished eating.
Carmelina, I helped your mother bring you into this world.
I want to help you stay in it.
Eat a chicken leg. It's so good!
No, no, no!
Without Nicolino, chicken just isn't chicken.
The house, the furniture.
I even bought the curtains.
The chandelier Carmelina really liked.
How horrible! I don't like it.
Love makes you do weird things!
Everything in the house was all that a married couple could ask for.
There was everything, only she was missing.
No, an ashtray was missing! Everything was missing.
Why do I care? Let's burn this cursed house down!
Who's bothering me?
- Nicolino! - What are you doing?
I came to stay here. I don't want you to be alone.
I'll sacrifice and live with you.
- You can't. Carmelina will live here. - You two got into an argument!
- Yes, but… - Where will we sleep?
There's only one bed.
- We'll figure it out! - Gaetano…
Listen. If you want to stay here, you can sleep in the living room.
- You can't sleep in the bed. - The wool will get ruined.
What do I care? I'm ruined, it will be the same for the wool!
Gaetano, I am suffering a lot!
Nicolino, you suffer because you want to suffer.
If I was her fiancé, this wool would be fine!
Gaetano, go away!
Carmelina is a serious girl.
Do you remember the movie we showed last week?
What about it?
There were two lovers that wanted to get married
but the parents didn't want them to.
The parents were forced to let them get married, understand?
- They were forced. - She's not that kind of girl.
I don't care if it's true or not, but we should make a threat.
All you have to say is,
"Let us marry now, or we'll have a wedding and baptism together."
But now I don't have the courage to go near that house.
If you don't submit to her mother, then you'd better forget her.
"Every good thing comes with a bad side".
Says the guy whose mother-in-law died and he had to pay for her funeral.
Mom, I don't want to eat.
I want to die of hunger like Count Ugolino.
You don't want to eat?
Aunt Maria invited us over so that we could make up!
Do it for me, Carmelina.
It was very difficult for me to come here with you.
I'm still not going to eat. I want to end up like Count Ugolino!
Who is he? Do you know something about him?
I don't know him.
The Aristocrats are going through a tough time.
- Mom, I'll eat. - I don't care if you eat.
Careful, you'll end up in the sea!
Let's start eating.
You're going to act like this over that silly man!
Are we ever going to eat? I'm going to start eating.
- Something to eat? - Of course.
- Fish soup. - I'll take the spaghetti and clams.
- Good. Miss? - Spaghetti and fish soup.
- I'll bring them out together? - Together.
- Do you have lasagne? - Of course.
Two spaghetti with clams, two fish soup and one lasagne.
There's lasagne!
I want to cancel the spaghetti and I'll take the lasagne.
I want lasagne as well. Cancel one soup.
- I will cancel one fish soup. - No, don't.
I'll take her fish soup instead of the lasagne.
If Carmelina doesn't want to eat, too bad for her.
Carmelina wants to eat. She's going to eat!
She's hungry, food is coming.
- That's all that was needed! - Nicolino!
Come here. What are you doing here?
Do you want to argue in public?
I came here to apologize to you.
You have some nerve!
I know I was wrong, but I want to make it right.
- I am your humble son. - What son are you talking about?
You are not part of my family.
Remember that Carmelina has to eat.
I can't live without you all. I love you.
Me? He's totally crazy!
- Do you love me? - Yes.
You, Sisinella, Aunt Maria. I love you all!
I'm so used to being with you all.
Yesterday I was walking by myself and I felt like I was naked!
Let him kiss your hand and we won't worry about it ever again.
OK, I want to be good, blood isn't water.
I don't want my daughter to die.
- Good job! - Let's go eat.
What's this? Hands to yourself. Let's go!
Let's go. Let's sit there.
Finally we can eat. I've been looking forward to it!
Not there. Aunt Maria at the head of the table, you sit there.
The ladies already ordered. What would you like?
- Tortellini with meat sauce. - Tortellini…
- I'll also take the tortellini. - Also for me the tortellini.
- I would like ice cream. - Ok, after we will get ice cream.
Hold on, calm down, ladies!
Speak one at a time, or I can't understand anything.
You asked for three fish soups but now you want three tortellini.
One spaghetti and one lasagne.
We have little time. Listen to what I'm about to say.
- You're about to have a child. - What are you saying?
- Are you OK? - Yes.
Did you understand what we ordered?
Yes. Three tortellini, two lasagne and one fish soup.
For the young lady… Where is the young lady?
Carmelina, order something to eat!
- Scrambled eggs. - This is all scrambled!
I want scrambled eggs, and also tortellini and fish soup.
I'd take that as well, but my liver hurts!
- Who ordered liver? - You didn't understand anything!
No one ordered the liver.
You do what I say. They will have to submit.
You're going to get me in trouble!
You have to do it for our love, for our happiness.
I wrote down what I wanted to tell you.
"This is the fruit…
The fruit in this hand…
Here in the womb of your daughter is the fruit of her love."
I knew it!
"Mom, in the womb of your daughter
is the fruit of her love!
The sweet fruit of a sour love.
Why is it sour?"
Hey! What are you doing?
That's bad manners.
Carmelina is talking to herself, she's saying she has a fruit.
What fruit?
She must've eaten it, she says it's sweet.
Sweet?
"For a moment of happiness.
How much I suffer!
How much…" No!
"How much does one have to pay for a moment of happiness!"
What a scandal!
- Amalia, my sister. Be strong, be calm. - What happened?
- Carmelina has a fruit in her womb. - What fruit?
The sweet one that was sour.
- Is this a joke? - What is a womb?
- Carmelina has a stomach ache? - It's not a stomach ache! I wish.
- What is it? - You have to stay calm.
I am really calm. What are you talking about?
Try to understand. I am not married.
Certain things are a sin just to think about!
Mom, Carmelina ate the fruit that Nicolino gave her.
Be quiet, gossiper! You should mind your own business.
And I don't. Carmelina ate the fruit!
"There, in the womb of your daughter, is the fruit of her love.
The sweet fruit of a sour love. What suffering!
How much does one have to pay for a moment of happiness.
Suffering! The price is too high for a moment of love."
Wretched soul! What are you saying?
- Nothing. I'm not saying anything. - Nothing?
Aren't you embarrassed to say these things at your age?
- What is this silliness? - It's not silliness.
- Then what is it? - The truth.
The truth?
You are still a little girl! It's not possible.
I'm not a little girl anymore, I'm a woman.
- Wait, now I'm even a mother. - Virgin Mary!
What are you saying?
Who is the fruit vendor?
Mom, I only know one man. My Nicolino!
Nicolino! Again Nicolino in front of my eyes!
My God, I can't deal with this anymore…
Amalia! Amalia, Amalia!
- Hi, Sisinella. - Come in, come in.
- Talk to Mom! - Why?
You gave fruit to Carmelina and now she has a stomach ache.
- What? - I know everything. Mom even fainted!
- So Carmelina has decided! - Don't touch me.
Mom, wake up. I'll tell you the truth.
Mom! Mom!
- Amalia! - Mom, wake up.
- Oh, God! - See what happened?
- Hurry up, give me a kiss. - Nicolino, are you crazy?
- Have some respect for my mother. - Give me a kiss!
Mom, wake up!
Nicolino is trying to kiss Amalia.
- Where is he? - Here I am. At your service.
Disgraceful, rascal, idiot!
You ruined my daughter, our home, our family. Everything!
Stay calm. I'm not running away, I'll take my responsibility.
Do you have the guts to talk?
- I want to fix everything. - What do you want to fix?
The deed is already done.
She deserves an honorable man for her child.
- Where can I find one? - I am a honorable man!
- I'll marry her, if you want. - If I want?
You should be a bit more humble after all the problems you caused!
Of course you have to marry her!
But I want to know something.
I never lost track of you.
I always had somebody watching you.
Explain to me how you did it?
It's not the time. Carmelina would be ashamed!
- You'd be ashamed, right? - Yes, I'm ashamed… About?
You should've been ashamed before! Now it's too late!
Exactly… Too late. Very late.
We are wasting time with all this chatter.
- Nicolino is right, the months go by fast. - They fly!
- When did this happen? - I don't know!
- Nicolino knows, he did it all! - What is this?
I want to see through this. Come to Annunziata with me.
So we can figure out the truth.
MIDWIFE
Hurry up, Annunziata. The baby will be born by itself!
- The hat. - I don't have the hat!
- Mine! - You need it to help give birth?
- I am a lady! - I'm worried!
Calm down, we have time.
Get out. Leave!
My wife can't wait!
I have to speak with you.
You don't have to talk to anyone, I am first.
Wait outside, I'll be right there.
- My child will be born by itself! - Get out.
Nicolino, wait. When I come back we can talk.
I can't wait.
Amalia and Carmelina are arriving. If they find me here, I am done!
They're coming here? What are they coming here for?
Between you and Carmelina…
It's not what you think. I need your help.
How dare you? I am an honest midwife! I don't do certain things!
Relax. What did you think?
You need to help me marry Carmelina.
You know the situation I'm in.
- I resolved to a trick. - What did you do?
Me and Carmelina said we are expecting, but it's not true.
I'm about to climb Mount Calvary for you. I'm climbing it.
- Madam, don't go up! - Why not?
- Annunziata isn't here. - Did she leave?
No, she didn't leave.
She is not here, but she didn't leave yet?
- Move it, Carmelina. - OK, go.
Whatever happens happens.
It's destiny, he will be born by himself.
- What do you want from me? - Say that Carmelina is pregnant.
So we can get married.
If she discovers everything, how will I look?
Don't worry. I'll fix that right away!
Now we have to go. Let's go.
They're here! Go over there.
Amalia, how are you? How nice to see you again!
- Every day these kids are a problem. - What happened?
- You need to check out the girl. - What are you saying?
Nothing happened! It's better if I leave.
Carmelina, come here.
Sit here and tell me what happened.
Open your mouth, stick out your tongue.
- This girl is pregnant! - Me?
- It's very clear! - How? Just by looking?
You can see with the naked eye! The baby is in there.
- I think it's a boy. - It can't be true!
Do you know more than Annunziata?
Nicolino and I, we haven't been alone together.
Then it's someone else? Who was it?
- No one. How did it happened. - Oh, Virgin Mary!
Calm down, Amalia.
Ready? For what? Without me?
I knew it! I'll take care of it. Congratulations, goodbye.
Excuse me, I must tell the poor guy who's waiting.
- Who is it? - The father.
The father! It's not Nicolino?
Wait! Where are you going?
Carmelina! Come here.
- Come here! - Nicolino, I'm afraid!
- What are you doing? - Mrs. Annunziata is in on it.
- You keep playing your part. - I didn't know anything!
- I got scared. - It went fine.
You're the father.
- It was you! - What are you doing?
- What father? - One moment!
- This is the other father. - What are you talking about?
Please, relax, calm! It's a beautiful girl.
That one? She was going to eat me!
No! Not her! You are a father, I just found out.
You were all in on it!
Stay calm, I am the father.
Nicolino, you're here! So who is this man?
He was having a child.
- OK, but the real father is me. - Yes, the real father is him.
What did you say? Repeat it!
- I'll kill you! - Stop!
How disgusting! Let's review the situation.
You are the father of your child.
- He is the father of another child! - Good!
My daughter has only one father and that father is me!
- Let's hope! - No, it's me.
Go to your daughter.
Let them get married right away.
- Hurry up. - Get married right away.
Come back to me when it's the right time.
- Do you understand? - Of course.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
Relax, Nicolino. These are the last sacrifices.
It's humiliating
but Maria is going to take care of the documents for our marriage.
- Send us the documents right away! - Don't worry.
- I'll hurry up. - May the Lord guide you.
Every day that goes by, the problem gets bigger!
Here, it's done.
Aunt Maria, your bags are loaded. You can leave!
- You're even being funny! - Should I start crying?
Amalia, don't get upset, he is an unresponsive man!
Worry about the documents. Send them right away.
Carmelina's honor is in your hands!
Mom, do you want to tell everyone?
I'm not like you and Nicolino!
This story has made me tired. I feel nauseous!
- Nicolino, you are going to vomit! - What do you want?
Don't worry, I'm not sick.
I have two children, I'm more of an expert than you.
In your condition, you should have nausea.
- Leave me alone. - No, no, no.
If mom says you have nausea, you have nausea.
- Really? - Yes. Mom is always right.
Don't worry, this will help you.
- Mom, I feel something here. - What is it?
- I am craving strawberries. - Strawberries?
Wait a second.
Yes, strawberries.
- I'll send someone to get them. - Mom, they are expensive!
I don't care. Nicolino has to learn what it means to be a father!
Nicolino!
Go buy half a kilo of strawberries. Carmelina is craving them.
Strawberries? Are you sure?
- Yes, strawberries! - Not oranges or clementines?
No. Go. It can't be born craving strawberries!
I'm going to get strawberries for Carmelina.
Good boy.
- Nicolino, good morning. - Good morning!
I'm going. Carmelina is craving strawberries.
She has a craving, Mrs. Amalia told me.
The baby is due in spring, right?
What? Many springs may come but nothing will come out!
What? You still haven't fixed that problem?
Carmelina is a well-respected girl!
And so am I!
What should I tell Amalia? You promised me…
Do you want to get me arrested?
If only! You came to me, I am an honest professional.
You asked for my help, but you don't want to collaborate!
- I did everything! - Nicolino, enough.
If Amalia calls me, I will tell her the truth.
- No! - Yes.
Wait a little bit longer, at least a few more days.
Shut up! Go away. How terrible are the young generations!
To have a child, they need some help!
Mailman, is there mail for the Gerace family?
- Yes, a registered letter. - Where should I sign?
Thank you. Annunziata!
Annunziata, the documents have arrived! Carmelina!
- You have to eat. - Carmelina!
- Here are the strawberries! - Slowly, slowly.
The baby might suffer. Calm down.
- The strawberries? - The documents have arrived!
- Let me see. It's them! - Wonderful!
We are ready.
Finally!
Now we can get married.
Oh, God! Oh, God, no.
- It's not possible! - What happened?
It's not possible, my daughter. Something terrible!
- My child, be strong. - Mom, you're scaring me!
- What happened? - Poor child!
What a mess! Now what can we do?
- The documents have arrived? - If only you knew…
What?
Would you like to tell me?
Here it says you're a man.
Carmelo Gerace, born in Benevento. Is it you or not?
Of course it's her! She's not a man, she's a woman!
Nicolino, I am a woman, I swear. I am a woman.
How could you become a father if she was a man?
These days you never know.
Times have certainly changed.
- It could happen, right? - Don't say nonsense!
What you are talking about happens only on the news.
She's a man only according to her birth certificate.
Amalia, remember how they made this mistake?
Your husband wanted a boy.
Yes! It's true. Giosuè, it was you!
Your father, the day you were born,
was so sure you were a boy that he registered you as Carmelo.
I was sure he made the correction after her birth.
Good soul, he had his head in the clouds!
Nicolino, go open the door.
I have to be a man for the rest of my life?
No, we just have to make a small correction.
At City Hall with two witnesses.
Does Carmelo Gerace live here?
Not exactly. Well, maybe. What is this about?
- Military service. - What?
You understood.
By law, if he doesn't show up, he will be considered a deserter.
Good day.
- Who? - I have a military wife!
- No! - What happened?
My child, you are being called to military service!
- They will reform you. - Why are you crying?
It's me who should be crying!
First the mother, then the aunt, then the sister and now the country!
SOLDIERS' RECRUITMENT OFFICE
- Who do you want? - Me… Her…
- Us… - I understand, you are the cadet.
- Go to the nurse. - I wish, but it's not for me.
- It's for my girlfriend. - Young man, don't waste my time.
- Carmelina, let's go. - Madam, women can't enter here!
- My daughter is not a woman. - Why is she dressed like a woman?
She's dressed like a woman, but she's not a woman.
She is a woman, madam. Women aren't allowed here.
I was ordered here. And so I'll go as a woman.
- Let her come in as a woman! - What is this all about?
- I don't have time to waste. - Just let us go.
- My girlfriend is a woman. - She even has a child!
- That has to do military service? - No! She has to!
- They declared her deserter. - It's not her fault.
She didn't know she was a man.
He is a man and doesn't have to do military service.
She is a woman and she has to do military service.
- And you? - I have to go in!
You are crazy!
- That's absurd! - Yes, that's absurd.
It's useless to have a medical check up.
- The girl is not a man! - Of course… It appears so.
She is a girl.
Unfortunately, here it's written Carmelo Gerace.
And he must pass a physical.
It may be a scam.
- These are real! Look. - Mom, calm down.
I'm not giving the physical, the doctor has to.
- Cadet Gerace, follow me. - OK.
- Carmelina! - Calm down.
We have nothing to fear.
I won't let Carmelina take a physical like a man.
- I don't want her to be a soldier! - Nonsense!
Carmelina!
- Where is Carmelina? - Where is my daughter?
- Stay calm. - I'm not leaving her here!
Guys!
Behave! Silence.
May I? Please, miss.
Go away!
Wait one moment.
- More to the right. - May I, Major?
I don't want to be disturbed.
Excuse me, but it's important.
One moment. Do you feel pain in your shoulder.
Deep breath.
- You can't breathe deeper? - More than that, no.
- Should I make her wait? - Yes. Don't bother me!
Wait here. When the Major has finished, we will resolve everything.
Ok, I'll wait here.
What are you doing? Go away!
Enter.
Get undressed.
Do you understand? Naked.
Breathe!
OK! Good job.
Now, hold your breath.
It's too much!
What's happening?
A very strange case!
No, it's a striptease.
What are you doing here?
I was called to service, now I must pass a physical.
- What? - Should I take off my stockings?
Don't say nonsense and get dressed.
Where did that poor daughter of mine go?
- You can't get in! - Did a girl come in here?
- She is there. - Where?
What do you want?
Let me in, I must get in!
- Are they crazy? - Shameless!
- You are shameless! What did you do? - Who are you? Out!
I am the mother. Now tell me what you did to my daughter!
Aren't you ashamed of being naked in front of ladies?
How dare you! I'm in charge here!
If I was in charge, such things wouldn't happen!
- How dare you! - Nicolino!
- Where did you come from? - Carmelina, what did they do to you?
Nicolino, they hurt you!
Good job, now I have to see this too.
What is this display of affection?
What does this mean?
Why are you here? What do you want?
I don't want to be a soldier!
I just want to marry my Nicolino.
Please, don't raise your voice.
- It may be dangerous for the baby. - The baby? Where?
It's on its way.
Check, so you can discharge my daughter.
What nonsense are you talking about?
Isn't this a good reason to discharge her?
Have you ever had a pregnant soldier before?
- Mom, we can't tell lies to him. - What?
- It was Nicolino's idea to get married. - What?
- What are you saying? Are you crazy? - I'm not pregnant!
- I never was! - What? So you lied to me.
- Mom, she's lying. - We must tell the truth.
If they find out that we have been lying…
- What lies? - We could get arrested!
- What is this story? - I will tell you.
Now everything is clear.
It's the story of a wretched bastard,
rascal and a liar.
- Do you understand? - Nothing happened between us.
And do you even brag about it?
I thought I had a dishonored daughter.
While you were making fun of her mother. You disappointed me.
- Forgive us. - Shut up.
- I can't forgive you. - Help!
Enough!
The first love is unforgettable.
Do you think I will forget her? I can't live like that!
If I think about you, I think about your mother too.
The first hate is unforgettable.
Why that sad face?
You lose a woman, you find another woman. Think about tomorrow. What will you need?
Love, adventure, passion.
Coming soon to a theater near you!
- Leave me alone. - No. What friend would I be?
You need to forget that girl.
- That would be amazing, but how? - Find a rebound.
You're right. I need to erase Carmelina from my mind.
- Good! Erase her, destroy her. - Sorry, Carmelina.
But I have to erase you.
You're a man now. Now come with me, let's go and forget.
I have two girls tonight.
Get dressed. I'm going to get them!
Nicolino, I'll let you forget Carmelina.
You'll forget her kisses!
You'll forget her cuddles
You'll forget her love
Don't forget about the money because I don't have a dime!
You are the prettiest one
Your name will be Lilì
With your hair like this
I like you even more
Oh, no!
Don't change
Don't cut your hair
Don't put on a lot of make-up, honey!
But you…
You have decided this
To dress with red clothes
and to get called Gigi
You live like that
Between shops and clubs
You eat roast beef
Drink only smoothies
But why?
Oh, no, honey.
Stay like this, beautiful.
With your clean face
With your name Lilì
You're the prettiest
With your hair like this
Goodnight, Lilì!
Good morning, sadness!
- What's wrong with your friend? - Wake up, wake up!
I'll take care of it. Do you want to hear a joke?
Two people are on a honeymoon.
- Honeymoon? - They're in the sleeper car.
- They are holding each other tight. - Yes. While the train…
It goes slowly in the night.
I always dreamed of my honeymoon with her like this.
- With me? - No! What do you want?
The bride…
Listen, it's really fun.
- The bride? - No, the joke!
The bride shuts the light off and starts to undress.
What if she will do all this with another man?
No, she must marry me! Not another man.
Stop it, you are ruining my joke.
- She is getting undressed! - I don't want her to get undressed.
He is crazy.
I try to make him laugh and see how he is reacting.
He is on the phone.
Carmelina is it you? Thank God I have found you!
Yes, it's me. It's really me.
What are you talking about? Yes, I swear.
I care about you.
We are unlucky.
Don't cry, Carmela. Carmelina, Carmelina.
- My love… - Are you done?
My love, don't cry.
The right papers have come.
I am not a man anymore, I am a woman.
We could've gotten married!
What happened? Did your cat die?
A, B, C. His cat died. It died on Thursday!
- Meow! - Go away, black cat!
Nicolino, what's wrong?
Do you have a cat?
I'm chasing it away. Go away!
- Damn cats! - Shall we dance?
It's nothing, honey.
It's the radio.
I assure you, it's the radio.
I changed radio station. I swear!
- Shall we dance? - No.
Is this another radio station?
You are with another woman! My mom is right!
Now it's over, for good.
No, no, no. I am not your love. I am her mother!
Madam…
Please, let me explain.
I will not let you talk.
Don't you dare call again. Do you understand? It's over!
Hello? Hello?
Madam! Hello?
- She left! - You did it finally!
- Shall we dance? - It's your fault!
Why did you come here? What guy did I go out with?
Nicolino, let's dance!
She left me for good!
- You wanted to forget! - I don't want to forget her anymore.
I care too much for her. I want to see her again.
- You must help me. - Me?
Yes. I must talk to her.
I must tell her everything.
How can I, Gaetano?
Nicolino, I have an idea.
How beautiful!
They wrote a letter to Santa Claus.
Come.
Careful!
Carmelina!
It's me!
Nicolino, are you crazy? Mom could come.
- You're handsome dressed like that. - I want to talk to you. I love you!
- Go to your mother! - Dad! He slapped me.
Mom, look.
Look!
I got you!
Rascal! You ruined our family.
You must leave. You, walk.
Give me that. You thought it was money?
I CARE FOR YOU AND I FORGIVE YOU
I saw you! Come in!
Come!
You rascal!
Go in!
Saint Antonio, peace and wellbeing.
Peace and wellbeing.
- Saint Antonio… - Nicolino, are you crazy?
- Run away! - Is it you again?
- Do you think I'm stupid? - Madam!
How dare you dress like a monk!
Sacrilege!
- Try and come again… - What kind of people!
I'll show you!
Go back in. Walk.
Salam. Do you know where Gerace is?
- Are you looking for the garage? - Not the garage.
I'm looking for the Gerace family.
- Gerace? Who are you? - A Turkish man.
I'm an old friend of Captain Gerace. He died in the tempest.
- Are you a friend of Giosuè? - Yes, a friend of Giosuè.
- Do you know him? - Come.
You made a useless trip. They all died.
- In the tempest? - No, various sicknesses.
I am alone in a foreign country!
No, I will help you, I will take you to my place.
- This house? - No, behind that establishment.
- There is a poor crazy elephant. - Come!
- Look who I brought you. - Salam!
- Ham! Who are you? - It is the cook!
- I am a cook. - He is the Turkish cook!
Are you crazy? We don't have the waiter, and you bring me a cook?
So you don't want to understand! Show him your tattoo.
- Tattoo… He doesn't understand! - I don't understand.
- Tattoo, flower. - I understand!
He is the only one who survived the wreck of the Cavalluccio di Mare.
- So? - Do I speak Turkish?
I speak Turkish!
- The Turkish man of Giosuè's ship. - Exactly.
- Did you figure out my plan? - Yes.
You want to substitute the Turkish man with another person.
It is difficult to find someone.
I have someone, it's you!
- You are dumb! - Yes, yes. You are dumb.
- Absolutely dumb. - He says that too.
You are dumb!
Gaetanino, I need your help.
I must soften up Mrs. Amalia's heart.
Only you can do it.
You must get her to her weak spot. Help me.
I don't know about Giosuè and Amalia!
- Let's just ask! - Let's just ask!
- What about the tattoo… - That's easy.
- You will do it here. - What tattoo!
- Where should we put this wacko? - In the bathroom.
- Where should he sleep? - In the bathtub.
- What will he eat? - Nothing!
- What if he protests? - I will bite his head.
I will not impersonate the Turkish sailor. No!
- Mom! - Who's there?
Nicolino dressed like a Turkish man.
Again? You don't move.
I will take care of him.
- Salam. - Who are you?
- Gerace lives here? - Yes, why?
You must be Amalia, the wife of my friend Giosuè.
- I am… - No, don't talk.
You are Muzafer Kayan, the cook. Come in.
The Turkish cook.
Carmelina, Sisinella, look.
- Look who is here. - Muzafer! Dad's friend.
Yes, it's him.
Excuse me, come in.
Yes, yes.
My God! Excuse me.
Excuse me for getting emotional. You here, all of a sudden.
Come.
Giosuè, look who is here. Do you recognize him?
He won't recognize me, Amalia! Many years have passed.
Look how beautiful he is on his ship, the Cavalluccio di Mare.
Do you recognize him?
Giosuè! My friend.
This is your house. Give me your hat.
Sit down. Can I offer you a coffee, a drink?
I don't want to bother you, maybe something to eat.
Sisinella, Carmelina, go to the kitchen and bring all that you can find.
Sit down.
Now you must tell me all about the shipwreck.
Why do you want me to tell you that? Let go of that!
No, no, no! I want to know.
During the typhoon, where was Giosuè?
- On the ship. - Yes, this I know.
I want to know where he was on the ship.
He was on…
On… You know how he was.
He could never stand still.
- And then? Tell me! - Then the wind got stronger.
You know about the wind when it starts to blow.
The captain realized that the ship was in danger
and so he screamed at me, "Gaetano, let's save ourselves!
Let's wear a lifesaver!"
Instead of Muzafer he'd call you Gaetano?
Because he was scared.
He called me Gaetano and I called him Vincenzo.
Your real name doesn't matter in such moments.
Just the memory of it gives me goosebumps, look.
The waves were as tall as mountains.
All the sharks around us looked like anchovies.
And then, the typhoon arrived.
Careful with the sail, the wind is blowing.
When the wind starts blowing, the ship swerves.
The wind is blowing
The sails get tangled
The tempest!
It rains, the bow becomes shiny
And bright
The sky looks like ink
The tree mast
looks like silver
Lighthouse, why are you lighting?
We know how to get home, even at night
The wind is blowing The sails are getting tangled
This is sirocco
But those who love the sea, and are loved back by the sea
They are rich
Careful with the wind!
Let's go west!
West!
The movie theater is opening up. He should have been here by four.
- I don't understand. - It's my business!
Now I understand. Business is business.
If Gaetano doesn't come back, you will see!
Are you satisfied? Do you want something else?
No, thank you. My belly is full.
- Dessert was very good. - It was Dad's favorite.
Carmelina, bring coffee.
- Your daughter is very cute. - Thank you.
- Is she engaged? - Not at all!
- She doesn't even think about it. - She always thinks about Nicolino!
- His name is Nicolino. - You shut up and leave.
Nicolino is a nice name.
He must be a good guy.
Don't you say that name in my house. Excuse me.
- Of course. - Here's the coffee.
- Your daughter looks like you. - It's not true.
Everybody says that I look like my dad.
Your dad? Are you kidding me!
You look so much like your mother!
The same deep, dark eyes.
Very passionate.
A mouth the color of strawberries at five in the morning.
Velvety, clear skin, like apricots in the first days of July.
Hair like silk, a wave.
- Excuse me. - My sweater!
Don't worry, this is a weak coffee. It will go away.
Carmelina, Sisinella, come! Bring some water.
Good heavens!
The rose. The same rose as Giosuè!
Identical.
Do you mind?
It has been so many years that I've seen this only in pictures.
This is the only rose that survived the shipwreck.
If you want it, it's yours. I am offering it to you.
What? What do you want me to say?
I'm shaking.
Excuse me.
I will open in five minutes.
Stop! You will have to kill me first.
He is a friend of mine. Stop!
Gaetano, help me. Look what happened because of you.
Me? Go inside! The movie will start soon.
- How can we start over? - Let's put on another reel.
They will understand.
- It's just a question of fantasy. - Listen.
You dream!
Bread, Love and Dreams. I saw it in Turkey!
Good, but now shut up.
Did you talk to her?
Nicolino, you must calm down!
First we have to know each other better.
Give me time.
Armando, the newspaper is clear.
For delicate skin, you need an egg mask.
I am not an expert, ask my wife.
- Here, is it good? - No. It's not good.
It will need the red of the strawberries at five in the morning.
You understand me, Armando?
I'd only wake up at five in the morning when I was a soldier.
And I wouldn't look at the color of the strawberries!
Gaetanino, tell her something.
I am warming her up.
When the time comes I will tell her something.
- Listen! Will you talk to her? - I will try.
But I can't promise.
Today is Sunday, they made lasagne.
You know what happens in these cases.
You are always making up excuses!
The hasty cat gave birth to blind kittens!
- Do you want to be like the cat? - No. I want to marry Carmelina!
Don't worry, go home and wait for me.
Take care of the Turkish man.
I don't understand why Amalia put Sisinella in boarding school.
She says that she needed a good education
and that she would stay home doing nothing.
No, this is not the reason.
Since the Turkish man arrived, everything has been crazy in this house.
Here he is.
- Are we eating? - It's you.
Sit down, lunch will be served soon.
Amalia isn't here yet?
- No. Annunziata will be your company. - What fun!
- I would like to be with you alone. - With me?
- I would like to talk to you. - There is nothing to do with me!
What do you mean? I have to tell you something important.
What's this? This is a respectable house.
Do you think this is your harem?
Excuse me if I am late, you know how these hairdressers are!
- Between one lock and another… - Mom, what did you do?
You don't like it?
Don't listen to her.
You look amazing!
Let's make a toast to your wonderful transformation.
- Thank you. - I'd prefer poison!
- What do you mean? - Don't you mind her.
She doesn't deserve your kindness.
I know who she's thinking about!
Yes, I am thinking about him. My Nini.
He is so beautiful and I am so in love with him.
Come on, dear. Don't cry.
It's a fixation!
- Nicolino. - I don't know any Nicolino.
If Amalia doesn't want to… She is the owner!
Don't cry, don't make her cry. Poor girl!
This daughter is making my existence bitter.
I went home so cheerful. So happy.
You must stay like that, Amelia. Think about yourself.
Like I do.
I don't want to keep closed
these paper flowers
The real flowers are blooming
in the garden for you
Spring
is here!
Trees are becoming purple
A bird is coming to say
"I learned how to fly"
Years have passed
Seasons are flying
Songs are changing
But not you, you are always the same
For me, you are still beautiful
because I love you
The world is sad if you don't laugh anymore
Put some make-up on
Comb your hair
Wear a brooch.
Come close to me
This mirror
can do love miracles
My heart still trembles
and falls in love with you
Saint Gennaro, help Gaetanino.
Give him strength and courage.
- What do you think, will he make it? - No, no.
- No? I say yes! - Yes.
He will come and say, "Run to Carmelina. She is waiting for you!"
- I will go and kiss her. - No!
Finally!
- So? - I must talk to you.
- Did something bad happened? - No, actually…
- It went well for me, but for you… - What?
- Salam, go away. - Me?
Speak.
Nicolino, you must be brave.
I can't let you marry Carmelina. My new position forbids me.
What position?
Me and Amalia love each other and we will get married.
- What? - As Carmelina's father, I can't.
- Coward, traitor! What did you do? - Calm down, Nicolino.
Why do you take it out on me? It isn't my fault that I fell in love.
If I am not getting married, neither will you.
I will take the Turkish man to Mrs. Amelia.
- Muzafer! - If she finds out about that,
it will be bad for you too.
Oh, man! I lost the Turkish man.
Gaetanino! Help me, I lost the Turkish man.
I don't care, I am going. Amelia is waiting for me.
Muzafer! Muzafer!
Gaetano! Gaetanino!
Muzafer! Muzafer!
Are you looking for the Turkish man? He is on the terrace.
- Muzafer! - He's gone mad!
- What are you doing? - I am praying to Allah. Pray as well.
Let's go.
Wait! Giosuè's wife lives here. The Gerace family.
- You said that everybody died. - I will explain later. Let's go!
I understand. We are going to the funeral.
I know someone who deserves a funeral.
What happened to you?
Carmelina thought that you committed suicide.
Another Turkish man! There was a landing?
I'll tell you later. Is Carmelina home?
- She is doing laundry. - Alone?
Yes, alone. Amalia lives in Turkey now!
I will take her with me, I'll kidnap her.
- Take care of him. - No, I am afraid!
It's very good. I'll be back soon.
- Are you going to the funeral? - Funeral?
- What funeral? - You are ignorant.
- No, you are dumb! - Me?
Yes, you are dumb.
Carmelina!
Carmelina, I am here!
Nicolino! How did you find out that I was here alone?
I live thinking about you.
Are you really alone?
Yes, mom is downstairs.
I can't believe…
We are here alone.
- It's the first time. - I know, but what is this for?
- Can I help you? - Thank you.
Carmelina! Carmelina!
I can't see you but I feel you.
Should I come to the other side?
You have nothing to say?
- Carmelina! - What do you want?
- Don't you dare come closer. - I will come closer anyway.
We are not even engaged.
Carmelina, what are we? I have to understand that!
We are engaged every other month. Parents of a child who doesn't exist.
In love without even being able to say it.
Now that we are finally alone, you don't want me to come closer.
I'm coming closer, Carmelina.
Don't you say a word?
Careful, Nicolino. You can ruin me.
Run away, then!
- Of course I will run away! - Wait, I must tell you something.
I could never do it and I don't know if I will now.
- Should I tell you, Carmelina? - What? Are you crazy?
No, but I will get crazy.
Aren't you running away? Carmelina, aren't you?
I'm running away.
Carmelina, I… Damn, it is so difficult!
I care for you.
Nicolino, I didn't hear you.
I care for you.
I care for you!
How beautiful is this word?
I care for you!
There is no one here?
I care for you!
Carmelina. Am I crazy?
Nicolino, I am crazy.
I care for you.
Did you hear? It's you again!
You said that you wouldn't dirty your hands with me.
No. In fact, I will not.
Muzafer, throw this person down the stairs.
Gaetano, don't move. Downstairs is the real Turkish man!
- He is ready to act. - What are you talking about?
- Do you know each other? - It is possible.
When you are at sea, you meet lots of people.
What are you talking about? You can't even swim!
He is not a sailor.
I sent him to your house to have some help from the inside.
This is what you made me do keeping me from seeing Carmelina.
- Who are you, then? - I will tell you who he is.
He is a rascal, a puppet, a betrayer of friendship for a little bit of food!
Daddy's friend, the only one who survived.
He never even took the ferry to Capri.
Daddy's friend is downstairs. I will go get him and bring him up.
- Don't be vile! - You'll pay for what you did to me.
- They will kill each other! - Don't move.
Now you also know
what it means to be in love.
They didn't die.
You are bringing bad luck to this building.
We will need lots of incense. Go! Go!
You ruined me! After all that I did for you!
I will make you go on a boat.
- On an hospital boat! - Gaetano!
- I will send you to the hospital. - Nicolino! Gaetano!
Miss, come here.
- Is she Mrs. Gerace? - There she is.
This is another Turkish man. He said that you were dead.
Who are you?
Why are you slapping me? I am your best friend!
You treat me like that after all that I did for you?
Nicolino…
We grew up together!
You knew that I was in love!
It's not my fault that I fell in love too!
Gaetanino…
- Are you in love for real? - Yes.
Come here, Gaetanino.
Come here!
You aren't dead! You're alive. I don't understand.
You understand very well! I am dead, dead!
I don't want to hear again about Giosuè, Turkish men and ships.
Don't you bother me anymore.
We don't accept visits anymore.
I understood that! She is not dead, she is alive.
Everybody tricked me, poor Turkish man.
I will punish the guilty.
Good heavens! Gaetano, Nicolino…
You will learn not to make fun of me!
Amalia, Carmelina, come down!
The Turkish man is beating them up.
Mrs. Annunziata!
The Turkish man is beating up Gaetano and Nicolino.
- What is going on? - Thank God! Someone is coming up.
Nicolino?
What did you do to him?
Nicolino! Nicolino!
My Nicolino! Are you alive? What did they do to you?
I don't know.
Send him away. I don't want to see him anymore.
- Amalia, forgive me. - He did it for love, after all.
I care for you.
Nicolino, I care for you.
Nicolino, I have decided. I will say it in front of everybody!
- I will run away with you! - No.
Are you coming by yourself or with your mother?
Carmelina, be good. I'm your mother.
Come upstairs and bring Nicolino too.
Nicolino, obey. It's better for you.
Obey, Nicolino. I fixed everything for you too.
Amelia, a little bit of patience.
Nicolino! Nicolino!
Poor Mom, maybe I shouldn't do it.
Let's do an experiment.
Pretty girl, come upstairs because I have to forgive you.
Nicolino, come upstairs. We have already forgiven you!
I am your father, we are getting married!
Young man!
You can't kiss in the street.
- Did you see everything? - Everything.
Then fine us, do whatever you want.
I want you as my best man.
Amalia, now that our children have left happily,
let's take care of our happiness. I am in a hurry!
I am so confused. How can I say no to you?
Muzafer, Gaetanino, you must calm down.
Did you ask permission from your mother?
Do you have a mother as well?
Come closer. What are you doing standing there?
Why did you come visit me?
Mom, I told you already.
We came to discuss our wedding with you.
Wedding? Who is the groom?
Me, Mom!
"Mom"? When did I have you?
He is calling you "mom" because he is the groom.
He is the groom and this is why he is calling me "mom".
Come forward, sit and talk to me.
Go.
Come closer. He is shy!
You look like an angel.
You are so curly!
- What is your name? - Gaetano.
Gaetano. What a nice name!
How old are you?
- 34. - 34? What a nice age!
- What is your job? - I am a…
- Knife grinder? I don't like it. - No!
- I'm a projector. - A projector?
Film projector.
- Film… - I work at the movie theater.
How long have you been dating?
- It has been almost 20 days. - Twenty days?
Like cats? And you call this love?
- It's terrible! - I love him, Mom!
What Mom and Mom!
The mother of the mother of the first mother of my mother
used to say that to know a man well you must use seven barrels of salt.
You must know each other, get to know each other well.
You need time. Three years is my verdict.
Here we go again!
You, your mom, and I walking around Toledo
We walk ahead and your mother walks behind us
You, your mom, and I, I am in trouble!
You, your mom, and I Who'd make me do?
You, your mom, and I What sin did I do?
You, your mom, and I.
THE END