? Marching in the winter?
? Marching in the fall ?
? Marching in the summer ?
? But spring is best of all ?
? 'Cause then it's March, March, March, April, May, June ?
? June, June, June, July, August, September ?
? Sept, Sept, September, October, November, December ?
? January, February, March, March, March, April, May, June ?
? June, June, June, July, August, September ?
? Sept, Sept, September, October, November, December ?
? January, February, March, March, March, April, May, June ?
? June, June, June, July, August, September ?
?Sept, Sept, September, October, November, December ?
? January, February ?
? Marching in the winter ?
? Marching in the fall ?
? Marching in the summer ?
? But home is the best of all ??
Hey!
Well, well, well, if it isn't the Rover Boys.
- Hiya, Tim! - How are ya?
Aren't you guys ever gonna grow up?
Is this any way to greet your American heroes?
C'mon, don't spoil our last day together.
Yeah, give us a pleasant smile.
We've been over there cutting the German lines
protecting your right to cut your scotch.
- We've been gone for two years. - Haven't you missed us?
Sure, I missed you. I got a tab here exactly two years old.
Take care of it, banker.
$75.80. Fork up or no liquor.
Oh, you're a sentimentalist at heart, Tim.
Listen, this is a bar, not a barbershop.
What do you got there? Hey, Silvio!
You guys act as if you own the joint.
Hey, Silvio! Hey! Hi!
- Silvio! - Hi. How are you?
- Silvio! - Silvio!
- What's he going to make? - 3 ham sandwiches. Great cook.
Come on, Tim, set 'em up. Put 'em on a tab.
No more tabs.
Cash. You're civilians now. You owe me a buck for this.
- I think you're over tipping. - What do you mean? We can't-
I just wanted you to know I didn't forget it
and you can't put anything over on me.
Keep the dough.
- You're going to need it. - Gee, Tim--
Tim, I'd like to leave you a little remembrance
because we're all bustin' up and going home. This is for you.
Take it, save it, frame it. Put it over the bar.
Someday it'll be worth millions.
- What is it? - An original Douglas Hallerton.
Security for your old age.
I'm trying to attract patrons, not scare them away.
This saloon will be famous one day 'cause this painting's here.
Yeah! Like places that say George Washington slept here.
- Like that. - Yeah, like that.
Coming up!
Oh, that's a pretty picture. Look like a pizza pie.
We call it the picture you eat with a spoon.
Stand back, Silvio. Just a little room. Huh! Hoo! Huh!
Ted, got some mail for you.
I hope it's the one. It is!
- A dame? - The future Mrs. Riley!
Wife of one of the future lawmakers of the US.
- This no-goodnik? - No-goodnik?
Head man in his school.
President of the Pittsburgh Junior Debating Society.
- Phi Beta Kappa. - Student of English literature.
- A born leader! - Vote for Riley!
'Dearest Ted'
'I've missed you so terribly and worried about you constantly'
'so far away and in such danger all the time.'
'You know there is no one in the world'
'nearer and dearer to me than you.'
'I know you'll have a brilliant career'
'when you finish law school.'
'But we haven't seen each other in several years'
'and people grow up and change.'
'Ted, I hope it makes no difference in our friendship'
'just because I happened to get married last month.'
'Joe is the most wonderful guy in the world.'
Hey!
Ah, back again.
- C'mon, Tim, give us a drink. - Set up a little harmless--
Alright, alright. One more and that's it.
It's closing time. It's four o'clock.
- Closing time? - Where's the clock?
Well, we got to help old Tim close up.
Well, of course.
Come on.
Hey! Watch that!
- Sorry. - The war's over.
People don't love drunk civilians
like they love tipsy soldiers.
Hey! We're civilians now!
? Oh, the time has come for parting ?
? And the marching music ends ?
? No matter where our lives may lead us ?
? In our hearts, we'll still be friends ?
? Though the time has come for parting ?
? And the future lies unknown ?
? Although the years may come between us ?
? We will never feel alone ?
? For friends we are now ?
? And friends we'll stay ?
? Until we meet again ?
? One wonderful day ?
? Although the time has come for parting ?
? We'll be friends ?
? Until we die ??
Stop, you guys. What're you kidding yourselves for?
A month from now, you won't even remember each other's names.
- What? - Sure, you're buddies now.
I've seen it before. It's like a girl you met at the Catskills.
Never see her again when you get to the city.
Hey, what're you talking about?
This is different. We've been together four years.
The war's over, kids. In a month from now...phew.
Alright, Tim. You give us one month, huh?
Well, I say we're friends for life and nothing can change it.
Five years, ten years.
Look, Tim, I'll make you a bet.
Ten years from today
October 11, 1955, at 12 o'clock noon
no matter where we are or what we're doing, the three of us
are gonna walk right through that door and meet here.
- Right, guys? - Right.
- You're crazy. - You want to bet a $1,000?
- Please. - Alright, then.
A buck from each of us against one buck from you.
- Enjoy. Enjoy. - Thank you.
Got a pen, Tim?
Not to be opened till 1955.
In the safe.
I'm making a little memo here for ourselves.
- October 11, 1955. - You said it.
Well, good luck, guys. I'll probably never see you again.
- But good luck anyway. - You'll see us.
You got a date October 11, 1955.
Twelve o'clock noon.
You start chilling a bottle of champagne right now.
You sure you're gonna be alright, Ted?
Sure. Sure.
Well...so long.
Alright, you can get dressed now.
Kid Mariacchi.
Go ahead, Kid.
Nashby, Sports Herald. Do you manage the kid?
- Yeah. Hiya, rocky. - What do you say, sport?
Might give him a little squib? Bring him to Stillman's at four.
- We'll shoot glamour stuff. - Thanks.
- You new in the fight racket? - Yeah.
Didn't know I was gonna be in it until eight months ago.
I won him in a game. A crap game. No credit to me.
I couldn't get anything with him if I tried to hock him
so I tried to do something with him.
You did something with him. He's no punk. 8 knockouts in a row.
- Number nine tonight, huh, Kid? - Yeah.
- Mr. Nashby, Sports Herald. - You look great, Mariacchi.
- Best of luck tonight. - Thanks.
- How you feeling, Kid? - I'm okay.
Get some sleep, then meet me at Stillman's Gym at four.
The newspapers want some pictures.
I don't need no pictures.
Any pictures. And you do need pictures.
Give me something for a cab, will you? A fin?
A fin? I got exactly two dollars and some loose change.
Here, take it all.
Hey, what's this? Confederate money?
Hey, give me that.
October 11, 1955.
- Hey, that's today. - Today? That..
Oh, Doug and Angie.
Uh, what am I talking about?
If I go over there, nobody will show up.
I'm the biggest sucker of all time.
- Where do you have to go? - Tim's bar on third avenue.
It's a long way from here.
You're nuts. It's ten minutes.
Nah.
It's ten years.
What can I do for you?
Oh, could I just have a glass of water, please?
Say, uh, when did you get this?
An ex-GI, gave it to me a long time ago.
Funny thing. Lots of people ask me about it.
He went off to Europe to paint or something.
Uh, long distance, I'd like to place a call to Chicago.
Long beach 1-0-8-8-0.
Mrs. Douglas Hallerton, please.
'Tune in tonight at 11 o'clock for'
Miss Mop-up, Miss Mop-up, Miss Mop-up.
Don't forget tonight Miss Mop-up presents
'''Midnight With Madeline,'' brought to you by Klenzrite.'
Channel 89 at 11 o'clock.
K-I-e-n-z-r-i-t-e spells Klenzrite!
Hello? Hello, Dorothy? This is Doug.
I'm in New York.
No, no, not on business. Something much more important.
Dorothy, what is this number where they reached you?
Oh, your lawyer's.
Well, Dorothy, look.
Do you have to go through with it?
Well, I know, but if you love me, why a divorce?
Well, we've been over this a thousand times.
What do you mean, I've changed?
What's changed about me?
Dorothy, I don't know what you're driving at.
- Hi, Tim! - Well, chum, what'll you have?
Hey, don't you know me, Tim? I'm Angie!
Angie Valentine, United States Infantry.
A lot of fellas come and go in here, buddy.
Yeah, I guess they do.
Have you seen two other fellas today?
I wouldn't be doing such a good business
if I hadn't seen two fellas all morning.
Sure.
Should've known.
Number one sucker of all time.
- Doug. - You're Ted.
- Hey! - Hey!
Ah, you made it! You made it! We made it!
You haven't changed much, Doug.
Except for the brush. Get a load of that brush, will you, Ted?
- Ha ha ha! - Where'd you come from, Doug?
- Chicago. How about you? - Schenectady. Same old place.
- How about you, Ted? - I've been here the whole time.
I didn't know you'd been here all this time.
Yeah.
Well..
Yeah, well.
- Hey, Tim! - Tim!
- Tim, we made it! - We made it, Tim!
Well, well, well, if it isn't the Rover Boys.
He didn't even know me when I first came in.
You said we'd never make it and here we are.
You got no faith, that's. Come on, set them up.
Got to break open a fresh bottle for this.
- I can't handle a drink, Ted. - What?
I'm not fit digestion-wise. Bit of a nervous stomach.
Oh.
Well, come to think of it
I haven't had a drink at noon in a lot of years myself.
Maybe I could handle one. I'll take a couple of these pills.
Okay by me. I'm game. Boy, this is great.
- Well, to us. - To us.
- Oh, hey. - Cut that out, will you?
- The sacroiliac. - Oh, I'm sorry.
Boy, if Connie could only see me now..
...drinking in the middle of the afternoon.
Hey, I got some pictures here of Connie and the kids.
Very nice.
You kept pretty busy these ten years.
Yeah. How about you guys? You married?
- Yes, I'm married. - Pictures of the kids?
No. We don't have any children.
Well, I'll lend you a couple of mine!
And how about you, Ted? You married?
No, thank you.
Well, let's have another drink.
Yeah, let's have another drink. Boy, this is great. Great.
Hey, you know what? Let's drink to old Bootsie.
- Who? - Who's old Bootsie?
You know. Don't you remember? Bootsie!
That kid in our outfit who was always tripping over everything.
From the south. We always used to toast old Bootsie.
Don't you remember? It was good luck.
And then we always used to laugh.
Why?
I don't know.
Oh, sure, come on, Doug. Old Bootsie.
No, I couldn't handle another one.
- Alright, Angie. Bottoms up. - Bottoms up.
- Here you are, Tim. - No, here. Let me get this.
No, no, I'm the host here. This is my hometown.
- Hey, 50 bucks. - You're doing alright, Ted.
- But I always knew you would. - I'm doing swell.
I borrowed it from my barber this morning.
It's strictly temporary. I'll be in the chips tomorrow.
Gee, I got to call Connie and tell her about this.
She didn't believe you guys would show up.
She's a great girl, Connie. Sometimes a little bit jealous.
Guess you know what that's like, huh, Doug?
Oh, sure.
Look, I'll tell you what we'll do.
We'll have a few more drinks and go somewhere for lunch?
- Yeah. - Florio's.
Florio's. Veal parmesan lasagna.
I couldn't handle that heavy food.
I have to be a little careful restaurant-wise
and go where they know me.
Why don't I take you two chaps to the Turquoise?
- The Turquoise? - Mm-hmm.
- Whoo. - I'll handle it.
- No, I can handle it. - No. I wouldn't think of it.
I'll just put it on the expense account.
I'll charge this whole day off as a business trip.
Oh, that's just swell.
Doug, you never did get back to Europe to paint, did you?
No, career-wise, it didn't seem practical
but I've been creative in the advertising line
with Little Miss Mop-up for Klenzrite
and Jolio, the gelatin man.
No. I don't miss la vie Boheme one bit.
Little Miss Mop-up. You did that?
- Mm-hmm - Well, what do you know?
Hey, if you're ever up Schenectady way
you have to drop in at my place.
Real red meat at the Cordon Bleu.
- At the what? - The Cordon Bleu.
That's the name of my hamburger joint.
Ha ha ha! That's rich.
Ha ha ha. That is priceless.
What's so funny?
As far as names go, it seems to me
Little Miss Mop-up and Jolio, the gelatin man
are pretty priceless themselves.
- Oh, well, I-- - Oh, come on.
Jolio, the gelatin man.
Your call to Schenectady, sir.
Gee, thanks.
Hello? Connie?
Hey, it's me.
I'm talking to you from a table at the Turquoise.
What a swanky dump.
Hey, what do you know? They both showed up.
Oh, it's great. Like old times.
How are the kids? Good.
How did Johnny do in the Columbus Day School Pageant?
Huh? He forgot ''Oh, Columbus, we salute you?''
Went over that line a thousand times with him.
Look, Connie, I'll call you back later.
Tell you when I'm coming home. Miss you too.
Yeah. Goodbye.
Well, Ted, how about you?
Law school and the political arena?
Oh, the midtown arena is about the only arena I know.
Which reminds me, I have to get up to Stillman's Gym later
and look at my fighter.
Racketeers in the fight game, huh?
Glad I'm in a respectable business.
? I shouldn't have come ?
? This thing's a mistake ?
? An awful mistake ?
? That guy's such a snob ?
? And who is that hick? ?
? Can these be the guys I once thought ?
? I could never live without? ?
Who do you think will win the world series?
Well, uh, both teams look pretty good to me.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Well, may the best team win.
? This thing is a frost ?
? I'd like to get lost ?
? Old pals are the bunk ?
? This guy's a cheap punk ?
? And that one's a heel ?
? And I'm a Schlemiel ?
? Can these be the guys I once thought ?
? I could never live without? ?
? This thing's a bad dream ?
? Why can't I just scream? ?
? Oh, why did I fly ?
? To New York from Chi? ?
? To drink scotch at noon ?
? With a hick and a goon ?
? Can these be the guys I once thought ?
? I could never live without? ?
? This guy is a punk, a punk, a punk ?
? This guy is a snob, a snob, a snob ?
? This guy is a dope, a hick, a square ?
? I shouldn't have come I'm in despair ?
? Our dreams are dustin' down the drain ?
? This thing is a bust and I'm insane ?
? Oh, why did I come? Oh, why am I here? ?
? A hick, a square, a snob, a punk ?
? Hah-hah-hah-hah Ho-ho-ho-ho ?
? A hick, a square, a snob, a punk ?
? Why did I come? Why am I here? ?
? Why? ??
Good afternoon, Miss Leighton. This way, please.
Thank you, Carl.
Thank you.
Scotch old-fashioned, please, Carl.
That's what I like. An old-fashioned girl.
I'm an old-fashioned boy, myself.
Here we are, gentlemen.
Salisbury steak medium for you, sir.
Thank you.
Medium rare for you, Mr. Hallerton.
Thank you.
And well done for you, sir.
Thank you.
Hey! You call this a hamburger? For four bucks?
Angie, shh, please.
Ted, you taste it. You know about horses.
I tell you this hamburger ran in the Kentucky derby.
Forget it, Angie.
If I served stuff like this
I'd be run out of Schenectady on the third rail.
- Shut up. - What did you say?
I said be quiet. This is embarrassing.
Angie, don't act like a yokel. We're in a high-class place.
Didn't stop you from trying to make a quick pickup.
I've picked up dames at better places.
I doubt that!
You crumbs couldn't get in such a place without me.
- Who's a crumb? - You are.
- You cheap snob! - Why, you..
- I'm sorry. - Me, too.
So am I.
Well, I guess we've had it.
- Yeah. - I guess so.
Waiter? Check please.
'Hey, Hallerton.'
- Well, well, well. - Oh, Mr. Fielding.
I didn't know you were in town.
- Just for the day. - How's the missus?
- Oh, fine, thank you. - Is she with you?
No, not this trip.
Oh, Mr. Fielding, these are two friends of mine.
- Mr. Valentine and Mr. Riley. - How are you, Mr. Fielding?
We were in the war together. We're having a little reunion.
We haven't seen each other in ten years.
It must be fun getting together to talk about old times.
- Mr. Fielding, excuse me. - Oh, Miss Leighton.
I've been calling you and couldn't reach you.
It's very important.
I want you to meet Hallerton of Chicago.
He's one of our Executive Vice Presidents out there.
He's responsible for the Miss Mop-up campaign.
Oh, you're the one.
Miss Leighton is one of our best idea men...I should say women.
You certainly should.
You know, she's the program coordinator
on our biggest Klenzrite TV show, ''Midnight With Madeline.''
Well, what do you know?
Uh, Doug, aren't you going to introduce us?
Oh, certainly.
Miss Leighton, this is Mr. Valentine and Mr. Riley.
- How do you do? - Ted Riley.
I suggest we skip lunch and get right to Madeline's rehearsal.
- You know how she is. - Oh, sweetie, I can't.
I'm waiting here for Stamper and Trasker.
- And Donner and Blitzen. - We'd really better go.
Well, alright.
Doug, come along and have a look-see.
We're rehearsing over at the Fontainebleau.
Oh, I-I'd like that very much. Well, so long, fellas.
- Bring your friends along. - No!
I mean, we're just about through here lunch-wise
and I'm sure they're very busy appointment-wise.
Not at all, Doug. We'd love to come along.
I've got an hour to kill before I have to be at Stillman's Gym.
You see, I own a plug-ugly who's going to be engaged
fisticuffs-wise tonight and I have to stop by
and put the lead weights in his gloves
and wise him up, wise-wise.
Sure, sure, come along. You, too, Mr., uh..
I'd sure like to meet Madeline in the flesh.
Maybe get her autograph to take home.
Yes, you could hang it on the wall of your hot dog stand.
- Hamburgers! - Hamburgers, of course.
How crude of you, Douglas, shall we go?
Ha ha ha.
'Say, Fielding.'
- Oh, Stamper and Trasker. - Hello, Fielding.
We're just on our way over to the Fontainebleau and this is..
The Fontainebleau, please. Seven of us couldn't fit in one cab.
- Of all the nerve-- - Uh-uh-uh. Now, don't get mad.
I-I had a crazy notion you and I should get better acquainted.
I see.
Besides, uh..
...I think you're about the prettiest program coordinator
I've ever seen.
You know, a fella's not safe alone in a cab
with a girl, these days.
Alright.
Okay?
Satisfied? I just couldn't face the boredom
of fighting you off for ten blocks.
It's the simplest method, my own invention.
Remove the initiative from the brute male
and he'll retire in confusion.
Now, while you retire in confusion
I'll do a little work.
Hey, what kind of a screwball are you?
To save you the strain of trying to understand me
I'll give you the salient facts.
Graduate of Barnard, summa cum laude, career girl.
I'm fairly pretty, which is a nuisance.
I attract a lot of men at first, but I always find a way
of getting rid of them. Then everybody's happy all around.
In short, I can always scare them off.
I don't scare easy.
- No? - No.
Did you ever hear of Planck
who discovered the quantum theory in 1895?
Without that and Maxwell's field theory
there'd never be a theory of relativity.
And did you ever hear of Magadization
the pre-medieval musical system of voices singing or playing
octaves apart? And did you ever--
Time. Did you ever hear of Kid Mariacchi?
- Kid Mariacchi? - Yeah.
Middleweight, fighting tonight.
Height 5 foot 9. Weight 165.
Chest norm- 39. Expand- 42.
Eight straight knockouts in a row.
Good chance of flattening Helden tonight.
You're flattening me right now.
Oh, it's just a trick. It doesn't mean anything.
It has nothing to do with intelligence.
But men do find it an awful bore.
And I'll tell you something, I don't care.
Because as Shakespeare said in The Tempest, Act 2, Scene 7
''Most friendship is feigning, most loving...mere folly.''
''Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly.''
Well...in some ways, you and me and Shakespeare see eye to eye.
I got my diploma this afternoon.
- You and your war buddies? - Yeah, you saw it.
We met at our old wartime hangout.
A little place called Tim's Bar.
We expected to pick up where we left off ten years ago.
What a laugh.
Never mind, it's on Klenzrite.
See? You didn't bother me in the least on the rest of the trip.
My own invention.
That invention's gonna explode in your face someday, Einstein.
Well, so long.
Aren't you gonna say goodbye to your pals?
We said goodbye a long time ago.
But don't let that worry you. You'll see me again.
Just take the male initiative and pick me up
at Stillman's Gym about four o'clock.
I wouldn't bet on that.
You know, there are a lot of things you shouldn't bet on.
Like that Shakespeare quote, for instance.
It ain't The Tempest Act 2, Scene 7.
It's As You Like It, Act 2, Scene 7.
''Hey-ho, sing hey-ho unto the green holly
most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly.''
Oh, uh...I'm around Stillman's all the time.
'Quiet, Quiet, please. Rehearsal.'
''Klenzrite presents..''
''...Midnight With Madeline, starring..''
...Madeline!
? Music is better than words ?
? You break the spell when you start to speak ?
? That technique is all wrong ?
? Just forget about words and sing her a song ?
? Music was made for romance ?
? Love and a sweet song go hand in glove ?
? Every lover knows this ?
? And the sweeter the song ?
? The sweeter the kiss ?
? When you're without love you cry ?
? And your song is the blues ?
? But when you've got love you're high ?
? And your song is a gay refrain ?
? A happy strain that sings out the news ?
? Don't let the night go to waste ?
? Looking for ways to say I love you ?
? Take your cue from the birds ?
? Music ?
? Music is better ?
? Than words ??
Applause, applause, applause.
And now, you dear ladies and gentlemen
we come to the part of the program which is my favorite
because it means something.
Because it means this big, cold canyon we call New York
really has a heart.
And if you listen very hard... you can hear it throb.
The throb of Manhattan.
Last week we brought you Thomas W. Jackwood
reunited right here with his wife and children
after 30 years in jail.
Tonight again, our surprise guest or guests
are somewhere in this room.
Spotlight.
Could it be you?
Yes! Yes, it's you, Mr. Kebbner.
This, ladies and gentlemen
is Donald W. Kebbner of The Bronx.
One of the last army of little gray men
struggling along from day to day gallantly making ends meet.
Everyone has a dream, ladies and gentlemen.
Such a one is Mr. Kebbner.
A simple man with a dream of visiting the Orient
in its unparalleled splendor.
But all his life he has spent in his candy store
on Superior Avenue, where he has brought the Orient to him
by constructing, for 16 years
a complete table-sized model of the Taj Mahal
executed entirely in chewing-gum wrappers.
No!
No, no, no!
I will not have this on my show! It's terrible!
Jackie, what are you trying to do? Ruin me?
Madeline, it's the best we could do as a last-minute substitute.
Ah! We had something so wonderful.
A totally reformed drunkard was going to share inspiring story.
Yes, but he got drunk.
You geniuses will just have to put your heads together.
I won't do the show tonight, I just won't go on.
I want 40 million people to sit home and cry and love me.
Hey, Sam, get me a club sandwich
a double order of French fries and two cans of beer.
- Make it three! - Madeline, your diet.
You know what happens to your figure when you start eating.
Who cares about my diet or figure?
I'm unhappy. I want to eat.
Now, now, here's a nice pimento cheese sandwich.
I don't want a pimento cheese sandwich.
Yeah, but, sweetie, it took you so long
to take off those 20 pounds.
You mustn't give up the battle of the bulge.
Look who's talking, fatso.
You didn't get that corporation
on lettuce and tomato sandwiches.
But, sweetie, nobody pays to look at me in an evening gown.
Who cares? I'm not going on tonight!
Madeline, wait a minute.
This chewing-gum man has no sympathy!
- Sweetie, you got to.. - I don't care.
- You always.. - You'll put on 20 pounds..
Calm down, everybody.
I think I've got the spot solved for tonight.
It's the foulest notion I've had yet.
After all, it's for the glory of Klenzrite.
- The show must go on. - What is it?
It's human. It's up to the minute.
It's guaranteed to tear your guts out.
Yes, yes.
It'll take coordination. Everybody pitching in, even you.
- Well, darling, what is it? - The three war buddies.
They met today, for the first time in ten years
at their old hangout, a little place called Tim's Bar.
You mean Hallerton and what's his name and what's his name?
Right.
And tonight, much to their surprise
they'll meet again at 11 o'clock and be interviewed
by Madeline on ''Throb Of Manhattan.''
Oh! It's beautiful! Beautiful!
Our boys and me and the whole nation watching and weeping.
That's very good. You think we oughta talk to Hallerton?
No, this has to be a surprise show.
Something tells me these three pals wouldn't want to do this.
Take care of Hallerton, get him to the theater by 11 o'clock.
Madeline, you take care of Mr. Schenectady.
How am I gonna take care--
Don't let him out of sight. Take him wherever he wants to go.
- To dinner? - Yes, eat your head off.
That's Hallerton and Valentine
and I guess, I'll have to be responsible for number three.
Get that.
- Okay, that's enough. - Hey, what's eating you?
Huh? Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about the fight.
- Ted. - Thanks, Nashby, so long.
- You mad at me about something? - Why would I be mad at you?
Riley. Someone to see you.
Someone about six foot four, a broken nose, an IOU in his hand?
No, about five foot five, neat little nose
and ''I love you'' in her eyes.
Hey, lady. Come in.
Hello.
Wow.
Well, well, well. Right on the dot.
Are you always this prompt?
Yes, I'm just a machine.
Good, I love to tinker with machinery.
I had a few hours off and I remembered your kind invitation.
I thought I'd drop in and see all you colorful folk
of the world of fisticuffs in action.
- Oh, a sort of research, huh? - In a manner of speaking.
Well, you're just in time
for a nice hot cup of rubbing alcohol and crumpets.
Miss Leighton, this is, as if you didn't know, Kid Mariacchi.
- How do you do? - Hello.
Okay, Kid, get dressed, you'll be great tonight.
- And Lefty Louie. - Delighted.
- Butch McSween. - Charmed.
Boys, Miss Leighton.
- Pleased to meet you. - Hello.
Miss Leighton is here to do some research.
She says she wants to see the colorful folk
of the world of fisticuffs in action.
- I'm sure, you'll oblige. - 'Hey, Ted.'
I'll be delighted to escort Miss Leighton until your return.
Louie, you're a gentleman and a scholar.
- It's a pleasure. - I'll be right back.
Fellow colleagues, do your stuff.
Yeah!
- Look at me, I'm shadow boxing. - He's got a glass jaw.
This is a headgear. It protects me.
Sucks wind in the third round.
''One, two, button my shoe. Three, four, shut the door..''
Good counter-puncher.
Well, charming little place you have here.
Charming little place? Lady, this is an institution.
It's been like a mother to us and to our fathers before us.
Why, these old walls are as steeped in tradition
as the ivy-covered walls of Harvard.
? Over on New York's ?
? Eighth avenue ?
? Stands a building ?
? Gray and grim ?
? It's the home ?
? Of broken noses ?
? Our Alma Mater ?
? Stillman's Gym ?
? Though the plastered walls ?
? Are peeling ?
? And it looks a mess ?
? To some ?
? We point with pride ?
? To that spot on the Northwest side ?
? Mmm ?
? Where John L. Sullivan ?
? Always parked his gum ?
? Stillman's Stillman's ?
? Rah rah rah ?
? Hit 'em in the breadbox uh uh Hit 'em in the breadbox uh uh ?
? Fight for Stillman's Fight ?
? Sock 'em with a right hook Ouch ouch ?
? Make him hear the birdies Tweet tweet ?
? Fight for Stillman's Fight ?
? Stillman's dear old Stillman's ?
? Home of famous fighting men ?
? For you dear old Stillman's ?
? I lay me down for the count of ten ?
? Rah rah rah ?
? Stillman's dear old Stillman's ?
? We worship at your shrine ?
? For you dear old Stillman's ?
? I'd get me up at the count of nine ?
? As we think of Stillman's graduates ?
? Our eyes begin ?
? To mist ?
? For the fighting game ?
? Has its heavyweight hall of fame ?
? With John L. Sullivan ?
? Leading off ?
? The list ??
And after him came, uh..
- James Corbett. - Yeah, and then..
Bob Fitzsimmons, James Jeffries, Jack Johnson
Jess Willard, Jack Dempsey, Gene Tunney, Max Schmeling
Primo Carnera, Max Baer, James Braddock, Joe Louis
Ezzard Charles, Joe Walcott and Rocky Marciano.
Just a minute!
In what round did Dempsey knock out Firpo?
Round two.
- Where? - The Polo Grounds.
- When? - 1923.
In what round did Louis knock out Schmeling?
First round. Two minutes, four seconds.
- When? - 1938.
In what round did Jeffries knock down Fitzsimmons?
The second, the tenth and eleventh.
? What a dame what a dame she belongs in the hall of fame ?
? Baby you knock me out ?
? You're the dame with the frame they whistle at ?
? You're the dame with the brain in the picture hat ?
? You're the doll with a wallop like a baseball bat ?
? One two three four five six seven eight nine ten ?
? Boing I'm flat ?
? Baby you knock me out ?
? You're the miss with the kisses super-sweet ?
? You're the top people stop when you're on the street ?
? You're a wow with the power I admit defeat ?
? One two three four five six seven eight nine ten ?
? Boing I'm beat ?
? Star light star bright I see stars when you move in ?
? One two left right you win ?
? You got me hanging on the ropes ?
? Baby you knock me out ?
? You're the broad I'd applaud in a Broadway show ?
? You're the chick with a kick like a rodeo ?
? Honeybunch you got the punch that lays me low ?
? One two three four five six seven eight nine ten ?
? Boing KO ?
? Baby you knock me out ?
? One two three four five six seven eight nine ten ?
? Boing ?
? How strong ?
? One two three four five six seven eight nine ten ?
? Boing Come on ?
? You got me hanging on the ropes ?
? Baby you knock me out ?
? You're the broad I'd applaud in a Broadway show ?
? You're the chick with a kick like a rodeo ?
? Honeybunch you got the punch that lays me low ?
? One two three four five six seven eight nine ten ?
? Boing ?
? KO ?
? Left right hear me shout ?
? Baby ?
? You knock me out ??
Thanks, fellas, goodbye.
Bye!
I see you're quite a hit with the fellas.
Thanks, if I'm staying with you for dinner
I've calls to make. My office, for instance.
- Dinner? - Oh, don't you want me to?
Look, I hate to curb your male initiative
but a guy likes to ask once in a while.
Well, then ask me.
Miss Leighton, would you do me the honor--
Yes, come on.
Look, it'll have to be a quick dinner
I got the fight tonight, you know.
Oh, I'll go with you to the fight.
Hello, Roy, is Madeline with..
Good. And Fielding?
Fine. Now, what about the costumes for the singing girls?
Have we any cute military outfits around?
Oh, well, listen... right after the rehearsal
I'll meet the girls at the Grove Costume Company.
What do you say, sport?
Hiya, Rocky.
- Hi. - Hi.
You look pretty smart, there, sport.
I mean, you're cagey, you know what I mean?
- No, what do you mean? - Why..
I mean, you're so cagey, you won't even discuss it with me?
- What's in on it? - In on what?
- On it. - Oh, on, uh..
- The fix. - Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah, the fix.
Sure. You don't have to worry about nothing, Ted.
Uh...Charlie Culloran, set it up great.
Yeah, Charlie Culloran's pretty good at that sorta thing.
Oh, yeah, we've been rehearsing. We got it down perfect.
- You and, uh? - Me and Mar..
Me and Mariacchi.
Rocky, don't you think you ought to run over it once again?
- Just to make sure? - No.
I got it down pat...uh..
In the fourth round, me and the kid, we come out
and we dance around a little bit, you know.
And all of a sudden, I throw a beautiful left hook
catches the kid right on the button.
He does a neat half gainer into the canvas
and swims the length of the ring. Huh?
Sounds prettier than the Russian ballet.
Yeah, well...it'll bring us maybe, not fame..
...but fortune.
Listen, Rocky, play it cagey, will you?
I mean, don't go around shooting your mouth off
to somebody who might not be in on the fix.
That would be, shall we say...silly?
What...what do you, what do you take me for?
I'm...she-e-e.
Uh..
I'll see you at Charlie Culloran's after the fi..
I mean, the fight.
- Sorry, I need the phone. - Call you back.
- Come on, come on. - Well, really!
- Get me a load of dimes. - Who do you think--
Hurry up!
Well, that's that.
You've been on that phone for years.
I'm sorry, baby. Last-minute changes, urgent business.
But now, we'll concentrate on you. We'll go to some nice--
I've gotta do something. I must go to the Grove Costume Company
and see about some changes for tonight's show.
- Do you mind coming along? - What have I got to lose?
Oh, what a day.
The end of old friendship's beautiful dream and a frame up.
- Taxi! - What?
They tried to pull a fast one on me, but I outsmarted them.
Who?
Just found out that sweet kid you met inside, Mariacchi
is taking a dive tonight.
- What? - Yeah, the fight's fixed.
- The big fat combine behind it. - Oh, that's awful.
Taxi!
Is that what you were phoning about?
Did you tip off the boxing commission?
Did I tip off..
You think I want to get my head bashed in
in a dark alley some night?
Oh, no. I played dumb, took a lot of doing
but I managed to get all my bets switched to Rocky Helding.
I should make a pile of dough out of it.
- Hey, taxi! - Oh.
Now, situation-wise and saturation-wise
I think this fiscal year is going to top them all.
- What do you think, Hallerton? - What wise?
I said situation-wise.
Oh, excuse me I thought you said saturation-wise.
I did. I said, situation-wise and saturation-wise.
Oh, definitely.
Mr. Fielding, I've gotta get home. I wanna see Dorothy.
- I'm just beginning to see-- - Nonsense, you can't leave now.
You've got to stay and see that program tonight.
And Celia's expecting you for dinner. Trasker, where were we?
Well, sales-resistance-wise and competition-wise
we've nosed out every other brand from coast to coast.
That's consumer-wise and housewife-wise.
'Soft-spot-wise and danger-wise we've got to keep our eyes'
on November, December January, and February.
? I think this fiscal year is going to top them all ?
? And sales-resistance-wise and competition-wise ?
? We've nosed out every other brand from coast to coast ?
? But situation-wise and saturation-wise ?
? I think this fiscal year is going to top them all ?
? And sales-resistance-wise and competition-wise ?
? We've got to keep our eye on We've got to keep our eye on ?
? November, November December, December ?
? January, February ?
? March, March, March April, May, June ?
? June, June, June.. ??
Oh, excuse me.
I-I have a little bit of a headache.
Pardon me. I'll just step outside here for a minute.
I'll be here.
- Okay, Madeline, that's all. - Girls.
- Over to Grove's Costume. - Oh, Schenectady!
Meet you in the lobby as soon as I change.
Don't forget, you're taking me to dinner.
I'll be there. Well, bye, girls.
Thanks a lot for showing me everything and everything.
Oh, you're welcome.
Can't wait to see the show and watch Donald Kebbner's face
when he finds he's a surprise guest.
Boy, they really keep it secret, don't they?
That's the whole fun.
Hey, look at that.
I always dreamed of having things like that
in my restaurant in Schenectady.
Oh, do you own a place like this?
Well, it's not exactly like this.
It's only, uh, it's more modern.
- Oh, bye. - Bye.
Oh, there you are. It's late, come on, girls, line up.
I know, Max, I'm terribly sorry. Sorry, girls.
Oh, Max, the hats are all wrong.
It's supposed to be America, not Mauritania.
Well, we'll have to do something about them.
Let me see, get me those little overseas cap
number 9-7-6-4-J in your catalog.
- Come on, girls. - Okay, girls, follow me.
I'll be right back, Ted.
? When the time has come ?
? For parting ?
? And the marching ?
? Music ends ?
? No matter where ?
? Our lives may lead us ?
? We'll be friends ?
? Until we die ?
? Once upon a time ?
? I had two friends ?
? Once upon a time ?
? I thought that friendship never ends ?
? Once I had a dream ?
? What a joke ?
? Gone is that dream ?
? Up in smoke ?
? Once I had a dream ?
? What a joke ?
? Gone is that dream ?
? Up in smoke ?
? Gone is that dream ?
? Up ?
? In ?
? Smoke ?
Ted?
Ted, shall we go?
Look, lady, you're excused
you don't have to hang around with me all evening.
I wish I didn't have to hang around with myself.
Oh, we were going to have dinner and go to the fights, remember?
I don't get you.
First it was strictly no dice, for which I can't blame you..
And now, you..
I don't figure a broad like you.
I don't get you.
You talk like a mug, or you try to.
But, obviously, well, that Shakespeare quote..
I used to have quite a fondness for useless information.
Just ask Angie and Doug.
I don't have to ask Angie and Doug.
You know something?
Those two used to think I was greater than Babe Ruth
Justice Holmes and Dick Tracy rolled into one.
What did they think you were going to turn out to be?
Oh, nothing much. Just a great man.
I have a sneaking feeling I've let them down, just a wee bit.
If they knew about my, shall we say
helpful attitude towards this fix
the boys would be real proud of me.
Don't you think so?
Don't look for any sermons from me.
I've been involved in some fixes myself.
I suppose everybody's in some racket or other.
Say, what is this tough-woman-of-the-world
pose of yours? What's your problem?
- Some man done ya wrong? - Oh, really?
No, you'd never let anyone get near enough.
And you think you know all the answers.
You take the initiative, you..
Actually, you're just plain inhibited, that's your problem.
Look. Don't give me any two-bit snap psycho-analysis
anyone can do it. Case of Ted Riley.
Ten years ago, fresh out of the army.
You were going to amount to something.
But, you had a disappointment.
Don't know if it was a small blonde one, or a tall dark one.
But since then, you're taking it out on the world and yourself.
That'll be 25 cents, please.
That was no snap analysis, lady, that was my life.
- I'm sorry. - Na, that's alright.
You were terrific, doc. You hit it square on the nose.
Speaking of snap analysis, I owe you 25 cents.
Hm?
You hit it square on the nose about me, doc.
Sorry, gotta lock up.
Oh, we were just going.
Here, uh, go get yourself analyzed.
The Chicago concert season sounds just divine.
Yeah, Mrs. Hallerton and I have subscription tickets
to everything, but she always has to go with her cousin Minnie
because ol' fatso over there keeps me working too long.
Who? Oh, ha ha ha.
How is dear Mrs. Hallerton?
How should I know? I'm married to her.
Does she still have those awful headaches?
Yes, and she's tried everything.
Pills, analysis, astrology, witchcraft. Nothing helps.
It's very simple, she's dying. I'm boring you to death.
Ha ha ha.
She has a certain look when she's with me.
It's a combination of boredom, disgust and pity.
I saw that same look on Ted and Angie's faces today.
You know who's looking at me right now, with that same look?
- Not...me? - No, not you, four eyes. Me.
Hey, Garcon! Hey!
I wouldn't have any more of those if I were you, Doug.
I-I counted three martinis.
And I sneaked five on the side. That makes eight. Hey, you!
Oh, ha ha ha. You've got to stay in shape tonight, my boy.
You're coming to Madeline's program, you know? Ha ha.
Do I have to witness that maudlin, disgusting junk?
See some poor, helpless, surprised guest
make an idiot of himself?
Well, ha ha ha.
There must be some more dignified way to sell Klenzrite.
Like you taking a bath stark-naked in Macy's window.
Well, why don't you fire me?
Oh, what? I wouldn't dream of it, my boy. Ha ha.
I just want you to stay in shape tonight, that's all. Ha ha.
Where do you get off owning paintings like these?
Picasso, Braque, Rouault, Renoir?
What do you know of painting anyway, you old goof?
Your art appreciation ended with Mutt and Jeff.
Ooh.
Do you have any idea what it takes to be a great artist?
Or even an inferior one?
The dedication, the sacrifice, the time?
Oh, come on, meathead, fire me.
Well...speaking of meatheads, that reminds me, dinner will--
Just a second, just a second. Just a second!
Oh, now, Doug, uh, Doug!
This is a surprise for Ted and Angie.
Ha ha ha. I-It's a surprise for Ted and Angie.
Voila! No Mustache!
Huh? Ted and Angie would know me now.
Oh, Doug, I'm glad you're down. We're a little late dinner-wise.
Dinner-wise? Gee, I wish I would've said that-wise.
Whoop! Drink-wise! Drink-wise.
Drink..sorry-wise.
I apologize.
Sorry-wise. Apologize. Sorry-wise. Apologize.
? Sorry-wise apologize Sorry-wise apologize ?
? Sorry-wise and apologize-wise ?
? Apologize-wise and sorry-wise ?
? Apologize-wise and sorry-wise wise ?
? Situation-wise saturation-wise competition-wise ?
? Sales-resistance-wise television-wise ?
? Meathead-wise fatso-wise and wise and wise ?
? Pa-dam-pa-dam-pa-dam ?
? Situation-wise saturation-wise saturation-wise situation-wise ?
? Drink-wise pill-wise ?
? Audio-wise and video-wise and video-wise and audio-wise ?
? Audio-video-wise and video-audio-wise ?
? I dream of Jeannie with her light brown hair ?
? Situation-wise ?
? Saturation-wise ?
? Situation-wise and saturation-wise and si.. ?
? Be my love for no one else can end this yearning ?
? For you I'll make the sweetest music ?
? Time for the party-wise ?
? Do-do-do-do-huh ?
? Doo-doo-hoo-hah ?
? Woo-hoo-ooh-ooh ??
Sound retreat!
Damsel in distress!
Charge! Follow me over the moat!
Dinner-wise. I'm with you Jerry-Lewis-wise
Stand back. My old trick!
Nothing up my sleeves. No mustache, deceive.
- Max. - Think he'll win?
- Sure. - Ted
- Hi. - Hi.
Well, if it isn't Ted Riley.
Well, if it isn't Charlie Culloran.
What a nice surprise. What're you doing here, Charlie?
Just came over to say hello to you.
- And to wish the kid good luck. - That's swell of you, Charlie.
- Kid looks great. - Thanks.
When I lost him to you, I thought he was nothing.
- You've done wonders with him. - Thanks again, Charlie.
I'll see you around. Few things I wanna talk.
- Sure thing, Charlie. - You should come by house.
I'll have my wife cook us a nice chicken dumpling dinner.
And, uh, bring the young lady.
- Sure thing, Charlie. - Good luck.
Thanks.
Who is that?
That's little miss fix-it and his crowd of debutantes.
Oh.
Hiya, Kid.
Hey, where were you? You're late, Ted.
- Oh, I get it. - Good luck, tonight.
- Thanks. - Okay, George.
You're finished here, wait outside. Thanks.
- You get a good rest? - Sure, I feel swell.
I'm glad, because I got everything I own
riding on you tonight, kid, but..
...I know I'm a cinch to clean up on you.
- Yeah. - You seem a little nervous.
Who, me? Uh-uh.
You got nothing to be nervous about.
Well, it's a big night.
Yeah, it was a big day today, too.
Remember that date I had to keep at twelve o'clock?
- Yeah? - Well, that wasn't with a girl.
Turned out to be a date with myself.
Huh?
First time I met up with myself in about ten years.
You sound nuts.
Well, I'm glad I got you, kid. You're my one accomplishment.
Yeah, you're right.
The boys are real proud of you.
Huh? What did you say?
Well, I said the boys are real proud of you.
The boys.
Remember what I told you about keeping your hands down?
Come here.
See, you got them down like this.
You're all relaxed.
'Come on, Kid! They're waiting for you.'
Okay, go ahead, he'll be right up.
Come on, let's get out of here.
You go on, Georgie, I'll bring him right up.
Come on.
Taxi.
530 east, 48th street.
Ted, you idiot, what did you do? Those men are gonna kill you.
Between the two of us, we can handle anybody.
But Ted, aren't you in terrible danger?
Yeah, I'm in terrible danger.
I'm in danger of believing that look on your face.
You know, ten years ago
I told myself, I'd never let this happen again.
And then..
Oh!
That's nothing, darling, it's only the car.
No, it isn't, remember?
It's my own invention..
...exploding in my face.
- How's he coming, Swenson? - Fine, Mr. Fielding.
I'll have him shipshape in half an hour.
Good, we have to leave for the telecast at 10:30.
I'll give him deep massage, and he'll be good as new.
Mmm.
Somebody stole my moustache.
Fielding, I want that moustache returned, every hair in place.
Oh, Miss Leighton, what on earth are you upto?
Hm?
You've been living here two years.
You know our simple, steadfast rules.
- No men beyond this line. - Oh.
Couldn't you make an exception in my case?
- I'm a traveling salesman. - I'm sorry.
And, Miss Leighton what're you doing here at this hour?
You're usually at your broadcast by this time.
Oh, the broadcast!
Ted, will you please wait here? I'll be down in ten minutes.
And, something about the program I've gotta tell you.
- I'll tell you on the way. - About what?
Oh, it's ridiculous. I'm sick of it.
I'll explain it on the way over.
- I'll hurry. - I'll be here.
- Have you a side entrance here? - Yes, there.
Look, tell Miss Leighton, I'll meet her at the broadcast.
Thank you, good-bye.
? Why am I feeling so good ?
? Why am I feeling so strong ?
? Why am I feeling when things could look black ?
? That nothing could possibly go wrong ?
? This has been a most unusual day ?
? Love has made me see things ?
? In a different way ?
? Can it be ?
? I like myself ?
? She likes me ?
? So I like myself ?
? If someone wonderful as she is ?
? Can think I'm wonderful ?
? I must be quite a guy ?
? Feeling so ?
? Unlike myself ?
? Always used to ?
? Dislike myself ?
? But now my love ?
? Has got me riding high ?
? She likes me so ?
? So do I ?
? She likes me so ?
? So do I ??
Ladies and gentlemen.
In just 3 minutes, Midnight With Madeline will start.
Now, don't forget, we have a battery of television cameras
cleverly concealed.
So, be careful what you say to your neighbor.
Or how affectionate you are
with your partner of the evening.
Because remember
you may be on TV.
What am I doing here?
If you stand over here at the bar, you can see everything.
'If you look up to the right of the monitor'
'You'll see the word applaud..'
Right this way, Mr. Valentine.
'Each time you see the applause sign go on..'
- Yes, sir, what is it? - I want to see Miss Leighton.
- I'm sorry, but-- - Oh, Mr. Riley, I'm Trasker.
The show's just going on, please, step over here.
- She'll see you right after it. - Oh, thank you.
Yes, yes, yes, it's 11:00 and the makers of Klenzrite
Doze-rite, Is-rite, and Was-rite.
Also manufacturers of H2O Cola
that effervescent cola, that's pure as water
as nonfattening as water.
But oh, boy, that cola taste
that zooms you up to the skies
presents
Midnight With Madeline, starring
Me.
May I come in?
? Remember ?
? That Klenzrite is the only washing soap ?
? For you ?
? Remember ?
? That Klenzrite is the soap ?
? That washes things so new ?
? Please remember ?
? The many things that only Klenzrite can do ?
? Remember ?
? To call your grocer to send you ?
? Klenzrite ??
And now you dear ladies and gentlemen
guess what I'm going to do.
I'm going to sing you a song.
It's my latest recording, and I do hope you just love it.
But even if you don't, I don't really mind
as...long as you love me.
? I'm watching and waiting ?
Hello, Sam.
Hello, Joe.
? I'm waiting ?
? And watching ?
Hello, Max.
Hello, Bob.
Hello, Jasper.
? I hope and I yearn ?
Hello, Bill.
Hello, Phil.
? Just for his return ?
Hello, fellas.
? Thanks for the present of the silver-blue mink ?
? Thanks for the plane ?
? And the ice-skating rink ?
? Thanks for the yacht and for the solid-gold sink ?
? Thanks a lot but no thanks ?
? Thanks for the scrabble set with platinum board ?
? Thanks for the factory ?
? Once known as Ford ?
? Thank you for finding me the famous lost chord ?
? Thanks a lot but no thanks ?
? For I am just ?
? A faithful lassie ?
? Waiting for her faithful lad ?
? And there's no gift however classy ?
? By which this lassie ?
? Can be had ?
? Thanks for the banks and for the Santa Fe line ?
? Thanks for the darling Uranium mine ?
? But I'm a gal with only one valentine ?
? Thanks a lot but no thanks ?
? Thanks for the champagne ?
? And thanks for the state of Maine ?
? And thanks for the autographed picture of John Wayne ?
? Thanks a lot but no thanks ?
? Thanks for the cruise ?
? And thanks for the oil wells ?
? That ooze ?
? And thanks for that pair of Fred Astaire shoes ?
? Thanks a lot but no thanks ?
? For I am just a faithful lassie ?
? Waiting for her faithful lad ?
? And there's no gift however classy ?
? By which this lassie ?
? Can be had ?
? Thanks for losing your mind ?
? And thanks for Fort Knox sealed and signed ?
? But I've got a guy who's Clifton Webb ?
? And Marlon Brando combined ?
? Thanks a lot but no ?
? No thanks ??
Now, ladies and gentlemen, our weekly featurette
The Throb Of Manhattan.
Dear ladies and gentlemen.
We come to the part of the program which is my favorite.
Because it means something.
Because it means this big cold canyon we call New York
really has a heart.
Somewhere in this room
is the surprise guest or guests for this evening.
Could it be you?
Yes, boys, you're on television!
? Oh the time has come for parting ?
? And the marching music ends ?
? No matter where our lives may lead us ?
? In our hearts we'll still be friends ?
? For friends we are now And friends we'll stay ?
? Until we meet again one wonderful day ?
? Let a million miles divide us Let the years go rolling by ?
? Although the time has come for parting ?
? We'll be friends until we die ??
Ladies and gentlemen.
Ten years ago, these three G.I. Joes
returning from the war
made a solemn pledge to meet again today.
They had their glorious reunion at noon
proving true friendship never dies.
Yes, friends, this is Ted Riley
Angelo Valentine, and Douglas Hallerton.
Boys, this reception is also being given to you
by millions of people sitting in their homes
all over the country and I know that just like me
they are all feeling a wee bit misty.
Bless you.
Oh, look, little Angelo is blushing.
Bless him, isn't this wonderful?
Isn't this a great surprise?
Oh, it certainly is for me though I..
...think I was about to be tipped off.
So, this is why you spent every minute of the day with me.
I should have smelled a rat.
Hey, Connie, if you're watching, nothing happened.
Connie, ladies and gentlemen is little Angie's wife
who is watching the show from Schenectady.
And this is Douglas Hallerton, everyone
who knew nothing about it
even though he is one of our own executive vice presidents
from Chicago.
Now, really, Doug.
Isn't this a great moment for you
being the surprise guest on one of your own shows?
Madeline, sincerely, I deserve every bit of it.
It's truly a fitting climax to 10 years of self-degradation.
And if anyone interested is watching
I know what she meant, change-wise, that is.
Uh, yes, yours is a true success story, Doug.
But not all of us can reach the top, ladies and gentlemen.
Some of us sometimes need a helping hand.
Take Mr. Valentine, for instance.
Now, Mr. Valentine is a sweet, simple person
one of the vast army of little gray men
who struggle along from day to day
gallantly making ends meet.
Angie, we are going to give you, absolutely free
a Klenzrite washing machine, plus a five year supply
of Fishmayers non-scuffle shoes
for your poor, dear little kiddies.
Bless you.
Here's your Klenzrite guarantee
and Mr. Fishmayers personal certificate.
Thanks a lot.
But no, thanks.
I'm not looking for any handouts.
And I'm not one of any vast army of little gray men.
I'm doing alright and I can take care of my own family.
Thank you.
Isn't that wonderful, ladies and gentlemen?
And you, Mr. Riley.
I understand that you're engaged in the world of sports.
Tell us about yourself, won't you?
Oh, there's nothing to tell. I'm a bum.
- Hm? - A bum.
You know, a small-time operator.
I'm mixed up with some of the shadiest characters in town.
As a matter of fact, knowing the inspiring
uplifting work you do on this program
I-I feel terrible about showing my face
in decent homes all over the country.
Boys, don't be like me, live clean, use Klenzrite.
Uh, why, thank you.
And now tell us about your glorious reunion.
The three of you walked into Tim's bar--
Madeline, I'd like to help you out and give you
all the phony sentiment and corn you want but..
...I'm afraid, I'll have to disappoint you.
When the three of us met today in Tim's bar for the big moment
it was horrible.
The years had..
...the years had made us strangers.
We hated one another.
I know now why I hated them.
It's because I hated myself.
But I'm glad it happened.
Because I'd like the guys to know
that whatever they think of me, I-I don't blame them.
And I'd give several arms and legs
to win their friendship and respect again.
I'll try and spend the next ten years winning it back.
Good night, Madeline, it's been swell.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Klenzrite Cakewalkers.
Hello, Riley.
Charlie Culloran.
- Hi, Rocky. - Dirty crook.
Oh, I'm sorry you feel that way, Rocky.
We hate to interrupt your evening of nightclubbing.
Nightclubbing? Why, this..
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, but we'd like to have you come along with us.
To your house for that chicken dumpling dinner?
Ted, I'm afraid you won't be able to enjoy
a chicken dumpling dinner for three or four years.
Cover Ted Riley with number 3 camera.
Get that mic closer and keep it there.
Maybe after five or six months
you can take a little clear broth.
- Oh, really? - I'm afraid so.
Well, why this attitude, Charlie?
Well, of course you know, Ted, there was no fight tonight.
When the kid regained consciousness
he told us how you'd knocked him out.
When Charlie Culloran fixes a fix
he wants it to stay fixed.
What was that, Charlie?
'I said when I fix them, I want them to stay fixed.'
Oh, fixed? Oh, thank you very much.
Yes, I can understand pride in one's work, Charlie.
'I kind of felt that tonight, too.'
I was a little annoyed at the kid for wanting to throw
the fight after all the hard work we'd done.
So, I thought the best thing to do was to incapacitate him
and prevent the fight from going on.
Of course, if it was just me being upset, I'd forget it
but there are several other gentlemen involved
and, they'd like to have a chat with you.
Oh, who could they be?
Barney Gaber, Larry Treadman, Zeb O'Flair--
Barney, Larry, Zeb, they're all in on the, uh, fix?
Yes, and I think it'd be rude to keep them waiting.
I have a couple of boys here to escort us out.
Say, Charlie, have you ever been on TV?
- What? - Have you ever been on TV?
You know, Charlie, you got a beautiful full face
but let's see your profile, you know, it's is very important
'for love scenes and so forth, that's very very nice.'
Rocky, don't you think Charlie would be good on TV?
I'll tell you the truth, I never thought about it.
But on the screen, there's an actor there
who ain't no prettier than Charlie.
If I dinn't want to be deemed crazy, I'd say it was Charlie.
- What are you talking about? - Yes, Charlie, you're on TV.
You've just given a nice, clear statement
before about 60 million people.
Why, you..
- Ted, you alright? - Angie.
Cover me!
- Ready on the right. - On the left.
Ready on the firing line.
- Charge! - Charge!
Bombs away!
Hit the dirt!
Ringolevio.
- Yay! - Yay!
Fire one!
I'm coming, Angie!
Ha! Whoo! Ha!
Look out..
- Ha ha. - Ringolevio.
Hey, look.
Let's get out of here before they ask a lot of questions.
'Ladies and gentlemen, your Madeline has done it again.'
'You've witnessed not only the reunion of the three ex G.I's'
'but also our additional surprise guest'
'Charles Z. Culloran, notorious racketeer and gambler'
'making a spontaneous and unrehearsed confession'
'which will doubtless send him up the river'
'for 50 or 60 years!'
'All this on our weekly human-interest featurette'
'The Throb Of Manhattan.'
? A March a March a March April May June ?
? June a June a June July and August September ?
? Sept, Sept.. ??
Well, well, what happened to the rover boys?
We've been on television.
- Come on, Tim, set 'em up. - Got to hand it to you guys.
Ten years and the same old pals.
Nothing changed.
- Tim, we love you. - You got a sharp eye.
Hello, Dorothy? It's me, Doug.
Yeah, I just wanted to tell--
What? Oh, you saw the program?
Oh, you do?
Yeah, well, so do I.
Listen, darling, I don't know how you stood me up till now.
Yes, I am.
But now I've got a chance to show you..
Li-listen, Dot.
I know we can make it.
Yeah, I..
Well, I..
...I can't say any more right now.
Just..
I love you.
Bye.
- To Dorothy. - Dorothy.
- One for Connie and the kids. - And the Cordon Bleu.
No. No more Cordon Bleu.
From now on, it's just gonna be plain
Angie and Connie's Roadside Diner.
Well.
Hey, I remember old bootsie.
The kid from the south, always tripping all over himself?
His name was George something..
- Bootsie. - Brown?
No, no, George Barry.
- Barry! - Barry, that's it!
We were always toasting him. Was good luck..
- Why? - I don't know.
I remember, when we landed at Anzio on the beachhead?
He fell down and we followed thinking it was orders
Yeah, the machine guns opened up, but we were down flat.
That's right, that idiot saved our lives.
Gee.
Old bootsie.
- Bootsie. - Bootsie.
Hey, you remember Corporal Zimmerman?
Alright, alright! One more, and that's all.
I got a license here, remember?
Closing time, it's late we all got homes to go to.
Pay up and let's go, that'll be four bucks even.
- I got it. - I got it.
Hey, hey!
Wait a minute. The safe!
- The safe. - The safe.
There it is.
- Four even. - Wow..
Four bucks.
Well, Tim, that about wraps it up.
'Not quite.'
There's a little unfinished business.
I think everything's going to be alright with you, too.
- What do you think, Angie? - Vote for Riley.
? Though the time has come for parting ?
? And the marching music ends ?
? No matter where our lives ?
? May lead us ?
? In our hearts we'll still be friends ?
? Though the time has come for parting ?
? And the future lies unknown ?
? Although the years ?
? May come between us ?
? We will never ?
? Feel alone ?
? For friends ?
? We are now ?
? And friends we'll stay ?
? Until ?
? We meet again ?
? One wonderful day ?
? Let a million miles ?
? Divide us ?
? Let the years ?
? Go rolling by ?
? Although the time ?
? Has come for parting ?
? We'll be friends ?
? Until ?
? We ?
? Die ??