Synched and corrected by Fingersmaster. Enjoy!
♪ I wish I had a dollar for ♪
♪ Each time I took a chance ♪
♪ On all those two-bit Romeos ♪
♪ Who counterfeit romance ♪
♪ Somehow always thinking of ♪
♪ The last time I fell down ♪
♪ Knowing that you'll fall in love ♪
♪ Once upon ♪
♪ A ♪
♪ Town ♪
♪ Down through the ages ♪
♪ All of the sages ♪
♪ Said don't spend your wages on love ♪
♪ There's graft and collusion ♪
♪ Avoid the intrusion ♪
♪ And preceding foreclosures ♪
♪ There's overexposure ♪
♪ Down at the crossroads ♪
♪ A question is posed ♪
♪ The bridge is washed out and the highway's closed ♪
♪ Got a good reason ♪
♪ Firmly believe ♪
♪ Love was designed to exploit and deceive ♪
♪ And there's an addendum ♪
♪ Whenever you send them ♪
♪ That red ball that beats in your chest ♪
♪ You will see ♪
♪ It's simple addition ♪
♪ It keeps with tradition ♪
♪ Don't spend your wages on love ♪
♪ Take any burg, any city or town ♪
♪ Just get on Main Street ♪
♪ And drive all the way down ♪
♪ You see, love has a graveyard ♪
♪ An orchard for those ♪
♪ Who fell on their sabers ♪
♪ And paid through the nose ♪
♪ Oh, your shovel's a shot glass ♪
♪ Dig your own hole ♪
♪ Bury what's left of your miserable soul ♪
♪ Down through the ages ♪
♪ All of the sages ♪
- ♪ Said don't spend your wages on love ♪ - ♪ Don't spend your wages on love ♪
♪ There's graft and collusion ♪
♪ Avoid the intrusion ♪
♪ And preceding foreclosure ♪
♪ There's overexposure ♪
- ♪ Down at the crossroads ♪ - ♪ Down at the crossroads ♪
♪ A question is posed ♪
♪ The bridge is washed out ♪
♪ And the highway's closed ♪
The traffic. The crowds. The noise.
Get out of Las Vegas and come to paradise.
Discover Bora-Bora. Discover Tahiti.
Our tour prices have not gone up.
Your dollar is still worth a dollar. We fly seven days a week.
Tranquillity.
Tropical paradise.
♪ Here comes the bride ♪
♪ And there goes the groom ♪
♪ Looks like a hurricane ♪
♪ Went through this room ♪
♪ Smells like a pool hall ♪
- ♪ Where's my other shoe ♪ - Go away. Shoo!
♪ And I'm sick and tired ♪
♪ Of pickin' up after you ♪
♪ Looks like you spent the night in a trench ♪
♪ And tell me ♪
♪ How long have you been combing your hair with a wrench ♪
What is this?
- ♪ The roses are dead ♪ - That's great, Frannie.
♪ And the violets are too ♪
♪ And I'm sick and tired of pickin' up after you ♪
- Is anybody home? Oh, Frannie? - ♪ I've told you before ♪
♪ I won't tell you again ♪
♪ You don't defrost the icebox with a ballpoint pen ♪
♪ This railroad apartment ♪
♪ Is held together with glue ♪
♪ And I'm sick and tired ♪
♪ Of pickin' up after you ♪
Oh, Jesus! You scared me! Hello?
Hello? Hello.
Damn hang-up.
- I wonder who that was. - One of your boyfriends.
- Probably one of your girlfriends. - Oh, sure. Sure.
- You never know. - You never do.
You know what tomorrow is, Frannie?
It's the Fourth of July. The day we met.
Five years ago.
And I thought you deserved a present.
- This is for us. - Oh, you sweetie.
- I got us a present too. - You did?
Yeah. Happy anniversary, Frannie. I love you, baby.
- I love you too. Open your present. - Open your present.
- You go first. Go ahead. - Yeah?
- What is this? What did you get? - It's a surprise.
Tickets.
Two tickets to Bora-Bora.
- Bora-Bora? - That's right.
Just you and me on the beach.
A little sex. A little surfing. A little sand in our toes.
Sex and surfing. I got my sea and ski.
Go on. See what that is. Open that up.
- I got a deed. - Yeah.
- I got a deed... the deed to a house. - The deed to this house.
I bought Moe's share.
- Are you kidding? - I tricked him.
- No. I bought his share. - This is the deed to this house?
- Yeah. It's ours! - Great.
- This house? - Yeah.
That's good. Hank, this house... It's a fixer-upper.
It's the house that you fix it up and you sell it.
It's got a lot of possibilities. What are you talkin' about?
- I don't know. - It's a great house, Frannie.
You'll love it, really. We'll fix it up and have a place of our own.
- Okay. - Sure.
Then we can go anyplace, anyplace you wanna go.
- I am Tandaleo. - Tandaleo?
Who are you, pagan slave?
- On your knees. - How 'bout a dance, Tandaleo?
- I won't dance, don't ask me - Dance, my child.
- You're gonna love the South Seas. - Nice ankles.
Look, it's a great idea, but we can't afford it right now.
♪ Because I know ♪
♪ I've been swindled ♪
♪ I never bargained for this ♪
♪ And what's more you never cared about me ♪
♪ Why don't you get your own place ♪
♪ So you can live like you do ♪
♪ And I'm sick and tired ♪
♪ Of pickin' up after you ♪
Hi, Hildie. Nice evening.
♪ Take all your relatives ♪
♪ And all of your shoes ♪
♪ Believe me I'll really swing ♪
♪ When you're gone ♪
♪ I'll be livin'on chicken and wine ♪
♪ After we're through ♪
♪ With someone I'll pick up ♪
- ♪ After you ♪ - What are you doing?
I'm cooking. Special anniversary dinner.
- What are you so dressed up for? - I thought you said we were going out.
Hank, let's not fight.
What are you talking about? I love you.
Honey, let's just promise...
to never ever fight ever again, okay?
- You promise? - I promise.
Seal it with a kiss.
♪ I can clearly ♪
♪ See nothing is clear ♪
♪ I keep falling apart
♪ Every year ♪
♪ Let's take ♪
♪ A hammer to it ♪
- ♪ There's no glamour in it ♪ - Wait a second. I'll be right back.
- ♪ Is there any way out of this dream ♪ - Why don't you forget it this time?
- Maybe we'll have a kid. - ♪ I'm as blue ♪
- We're not even married. - ♪ As I can possibly be ♪
♪ Is there someone else out there for me ♪
♪ Summer ♪
♪ Is dragging its feet ♪
♪ I feel so incomplete ♪
♪ Is there any way out of this dream ♪
♪ Summer ♪
♪ Is dragging its feet ♪
♪ I feel so incomplete ♪
♪ Is there any way out ♪
♪ Of this ♪
♪ Dream ♪
You know, Frannie, I think a vacation adventure...
would be a very good idea for us.
Actually, this is a pretty solid house, isn't it?
I mean, this is a good house.
- Well, this house could be made... - You know, in Bora-Bora, there's no...
- Sorry. Go ahead. - Go ahead.
- No. You go. - Well, you see, that's the thing, honey.
This could be a good investment.
I know. If we could afford it.
What do you mean? We bought it. It's ours.
You bought it.
But with our money.
Our money? You spent our money without asking me?
- What did you buy the tickets with? - Those tickets are something special.
I got a discount on the tickets.
Trust me, honey. I know best.
By the way, happy anniversary.
Happy anniversary.
When I first met you, Hank, I thought,
this is not the guy for me.
No way. You didn't look like him. You didn't talk like him.
You weren't him.
"Him"?
You know...
Prince Charming.
But I started to like you anyway.
And then I started to love you. 'Cause you were nice.
- Nice? - Yeah. You were nice.
You were really nice.
I thought maybe you'd change a little, and I would change a little.
We'd both get together, and everything would be all right.
But you haven't changed.
And you're not even nice anymore.
What about you, Frannie?
You know, you used to shave your legs all the time.
Now you don't shave them for weeks.
You were very appetizing. But now...
What do you mean, "now"? What about yourself?
You used to have a pretty good build, you know?
You did. Now you're starting to look like... an egg.
- Egg? - Yes, an egg.
Hey, if I was putting on a few pounds, you could have said somethin'.
Why didn't you say somethin'?
Because, frankly, you never listen to anything I say anyway.
That's because you've got nothin' to say.
Oh, yes, I have something to say. I have lots to say.
I've got plenty to say.
That's great. You're really saying something now. Terrific.
- Where you goin'? - For a little ride.
Oh, great. Run away. That's what you're good at.
Terrifc. There she goes, folks. Off again.
- You know what you're good at? - No, and I can't wait to hear.
Being boring. You are so boring. You have forgotten how to live.
I'm gonna get out of here before I become just like you.
Good-bye, Miss Bora-Bora.
You know, Frannie, you're full of shit.
You're always talking about paradise, but when you get there,
it's still gonna be you and all your shit walking along the beach.
Yeah? Not all my shit. Because you'll still be here.
Big joke.
- You're damn right I won't be with you. - This time it's over, Hank.
This time it is really over.
I'll tell you a little secret.
I knew it was over last New Year's Eve...
when I didn't want to kiss you at midnight.
I wanted to kiss what's-her-name, you know, the tall blond.
Yeah, I know the tall blond.
I didn't want to kiss you either.
I wanted to kiss Moe.
- Moe? - Yes, Moe.
Your best friend, Moe.
He followed me into the bathroom.
He had my blouse half off. He had his tongue down my throat.
- And I was enjoying it. - You kissed Moe?
Don't you come near me.
- You whore! - You stay away. Don't you touch me.
And don't you call me a whore, you hypocritical son of a bitch.
You called that tall blond the next day too, didn't you?
And you slept with her. And I knew.
That was nothin'.
Just a little somethin'. Besides, I didn't want to hurt ya.
Well, you did.
Come on, Frannie.
Come on back.
All right. If this is how you want it,
this is how you're gonna get it.
Knock it off, huh? Leave your private matters where they belong,
not out here in public.
Hey, Frannie, come on. What are you doing?
Good-bye.
- Hello. - Hello.
- Hi, Angela. Moe here. - Moe?
Yeah. Moe you, Moe me, Moe life, Moe love.
Angela, is it true that you're just after me for my body?
I've been wanting to ask you that a long time.
- Moe, I just thought you were after me for my body.
- Yeah. - Wanna come over later?
Sure, my cosmically beautiful cream puff.
- Did you ever kiss Frannie? - What?
Angela, I'd better call you back. Yeah.
Did I ever what?
What happened with you and Frannie last New Year's Eve?
New Year's Eve? Jesus. I don't remember that.
She said you were kissing her in the bathroom.
Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, uh...
No. Nothing happened.
It was just a New Year's kiss. You know.
- New Year's kiss? - Yeah. I mean, it was New Year's Eve.
Everybody was kissing everybody. You even tried to kiss me.
- She said you had her blouse off. - She said that?
- Yeah. - I don't remember nobody...
I don't remember her blouse being off.
Did you unbutton her blouse, or did she take it off?
- She didn't take her blouse off. - She didn't?
- No, uh, I don't remember. - You're my best friend.
If I can't trust you, who am I gonna trust?
Look, nothing happened on New Year's Eve, okay?
- Let's leave it at that. - Yeah, I bet nothing happened.
Wait a minute. What's wrong with you?
Nothing happened in the bathroom. Everybody was drinking, having a good...
I don't believe you, you know that? I think you're a snake.
Don't call me no snake, man.
If you want to start calling names, what aboutJan Morehouse?
- Jan Morehouse? - I never did bring that up to you.
- That was different. - What was different about it?
- You didn't love her. - Hey, don't tell me who I love.
She was just a good-time girl. Besides, I didn't want to hurt ya.
Didn't want to hurt me? So both of you hurt me in my bed...
while I'm out getting pizza like an idiot?
Come on. "Don't want to hurt me." Hey, forget it.
- You forget it. - You forget it.
Comin' over here with all that bullshit.
- That was three years ago, Moe. - Yeah, but it was like yesterday to me.
It was six months ago when I kissed Frannie too.
Kissed Frannie. That bitch. I don't believe women.
She was comin' on with me, for Christ's sake.
Really busted me.
- I'm sorry, Moe. - I'm sorry too.
- What's the matter? You all right? - I can't breathe, man.
I feel sick.
- Are you okay? - Frannie and I busted up.
This time it's for good, Maggie. I swear.
Come on, honey. People make up; they break up.
Nobody's perfect.
- Listen. You still got your health. - Yeah. Everything's gonna be okay.
Frannie, you don't have to be strong for me.
I'm your friend, dopey. You want to fall apart? You want to cry?
Go ahead. Fall apart. You'll feel better.
Maggie, I don't want to fall apart, okay?
Listen. Would you like me to tell you the truth?
No, I don't want to hear the truth either.
The truth is you're a very lucky lady.
Hank is absolutely a great guy.
Okay, so he's a little stingy.
- He's a stick-in-the-mud. - You guys are gonna be fine.
Hank's wonderful. He's a little cheap, but he's wonderful.
Don't make me puke.
- Frannie. - What?
You're gonna be fine. I promise you. You're gonna be just fine.
Maybe if you had a good cry, you'd feel better.
Why don't you just get it off your chest and cry?
I don't want to cry. I don't want to cry.
I mean, I really don't. If you want to cry, you cry. Go ahead.
You know I want to cry.
I want to cry so bad, but I haven't cried in so many years,
I don't even know if I can cry.
- Do you know how hard it is for me? - Maggie.
- Oh, God. I'm such a wreck. - Maggie, I want to live.
This is what I want. I want to go out with a bunch of guys.
- I want erotic things to happen. - Frannie, you're out of your mind.
I want to go to paradise. I want to do lots of things.
Susan Hayward in I Want to Live.
I wake up in some strange fuckin' apartment.
I don't know where I am. I'm going out with this guy tonight.
I don't want to go out with this guy. I go. I go. I cry and I go.
I always go.
He has such a nerve, Frannie. He calls me always at the last minute.
And then he tells me I should take a cab over to his house at this hour.
Good night. Lucky I'm crazy about him.
- Fran, are you gonna be all right? - Yeah.
You promise me?
Will you put the chain on the door?
- Oh, God. - I'll put the chain on the door.
Oh, God.
Oh, Hank. Goddamn it.
♪ Old boyfriends ♪
♪ Lost in the pocket ♪
♪ Of your overcoat ♪
♪ Like burned out lightbulbs ♪
♪ On a Ferris wheel ♪
♪ Old boyfriends ♪
♪ You remember the kinds of cars they drove ♪
♪ Parking in an orange grove ♪
Sorry there ain't no mayonnaise for the tuna fish.
That's all I got. So... Anyway, I gotta run.
I gotta meet the two girls at the Flamingo.
- I'm gonna call you in a half an hour. Ok? - Thanks, pal.
- Thanks for everything. - You've got the TV
and some grass in the desk. I'll see you in about...
- I'll call you in a half an hour. - Okay. Thank you.
Have a good time.
I love you, man. I'll see ya later.
Oh, Jesus.
♪ We fell in love, you see ♪
♪ With someone that we used to be ♪
♪ Though I very seldom think of you ♪
♪ Nevertheless ♪
♪ Sometimes a mannequin's ♪
♪ Blue summer dress ♪
♪ Can make a window ♪
♪ Like a dream ♪
♪ Ah, but now those dreams ♪
- ♪ Belong to someone else ♪ - ♪ Someone else ♪
♪ Now they talk in their sleep ♪
♪ In a drawer where I keep ♪
♪ All my ♪
♪ Old boyfriends ♪
♪ Girls fill up the bars ♪
♪ Every spring ♪
♪ Dark places for remembering ♪
♪ All your old ♪
♪ Boyfriends ♪
♪ Broken bicycles ♪
♪ Old busted chains ♪
♪ Rusted handlebars out in the rain ♪
♪ Somebody must have an orphanage for ♪
♪ All these things that nobody wants anymore ♪
♪ September's reminding July ♪
♪ It's time to be saying good-bye ♪
♪ Summer is gone ♪
♪ But our love will remain ♪
♪ Like old, broken bicycles ♪
♪ Out in the rain ♪
I don't care anymore.
You see me? I don't care.
♪ Let's take ♪
♪ A hammer to it ♪
♪ There's no glamour in it ♪
♪ Is there any way ♪
♪ Out of this dream ♪
What is it gonna be?
The window?
It's gonna be Bora-Bora, you know, in the South Pacific. It's an island.
- Bora-Bora doesn't look like that. - It doesn't, huh?
Not at all. That's not the color of the sky.
- You've been there? - Many times.
- You have? - Yeah. The sky's a different blue.
I've been to Tahiti, Bora-Bora, Pango-pango.
It's a different color. Don't you think?
I don't know. I've never been there myself.
I just make the window. From pictures.
You know, every time I walk by here,
I look at your window and I say to myself,
"What am I doing in this place? Why am I not there?"
That's funny, 'cause that's what I think when I make the windows.
I mean, I should be there doing the hula.
Yeah. You know, I see you all the time.
- You do? - Yeah.
I work right up the street playing the piano.
You play the piano? That's great.
- I sing too. - That's nice.
Would you like to come hear me sing tonight?
Me? Uh...
- Maggie, you see this guy? - No, I'm blind.
He's gorgeous but dangerous.
- Oh. Hi. - I'm on at 10:00 and then at 12:00.
I can leave your name at the door. What's your name?
My name? Oh, I don't do that.
- I'm so exhausted. - Maybe...
Tonight is gonna be a special night. Really great.
Frannie, if we're gonna go shopping, we gotta go now.
It's a holiday. The stores close early.
Be bold. It's the Fourth of July.
- Yeah, happy birthday, America. - You're an interesting guy.
I try to stay away from interesting guys, though.
- Why? - They're dangerous.
- Are you dangerous? - Come hear me sing and find out.
Stop! Hold it!
- What? - I forgot the address. Here.
- I can't do this. I just can't. - Why not? Give me a good reason.
- I just shouldn't. - Why? Are you married? Are you engaged?
- Living in sin? - No.
- Frannie, take the matches. - Come on. Take it. It's gonna be nice.
- See you at 12:00, okay? - Susan Hayward, I think you're gonna live.
- 12:00, okay? - Yes. 12:00.
- He's gorgeous. - I know.
- Hey, what's your name? - My name is Frannie.
- I like to dance. - You're crazy.
- I'm Ray. I like to dance too. - We're gonna get killed.
- I'm gonna dance with him. - So you'll dance with him.
What's the big deal about a little argument?
My folks were always fighting, but they knew they loved each other.
They were together. Nowadays you just move on.
Ain't nobody committed to nothin' except having a good time.
Will you stop whining, Hank? I'm about Frannied out already.
You know what's wrong with America, don't ya?
- What? - It's the light.
- Light? What's wrong with it? - There's no more secrets.
It's now all tinsel. It's phony bullshit. Nothing's real.
Hey, look.
- Wow. Think she's real? - She's gorgeous.
I don't believe this. What is this, the circus?
Maybe it's a commercial.
Oh, my God. I think she's looking at us.
Act natural. Keep smiling.
Who's she lookin'at, you or me?
She ain't looking at me. She must be looking at you.
Mais oui.
She's looking at you.
- Think so? - Yeah.
Well, move over. Let's see. Move over.
- Be subtle. - Well, you know.
Leila.
- She's cute. - Leila.
Uh-oh. We got a family quarrel.
I think I'm in love, Moe.
Hey, hey, hey. Now's your chance. We got 30 seconds.
You all right?
- Got a light? - Sure, sure.
Mm.
You wanna... ah.
You know, you got a real... You got a nice build. I mean, l...
I think you're a nice person. You've got beautiful eyes.
You've got a lovely family.
You wanna meet me 9:00 at the Fremont?
You kiddin'? Really?
Hey, I'll meet you anywhere. I'll meet you at the Brooklyn Bridge.
It's the old man.
- What she say? - I think she said...
She said meet her at the Fremont at 9:00.
She... You mean she told you that?
- That's what she said. - You son of a gun. You did it.
The most highly implausible thing I've ever seen in my life.
Fantastic.
That's bold, man. That's the way you gotta do it.
- The pants are a little tight. - They're supposed to be tight.
- You can see my equipment. - Sexy. It's all right, man.
- You're making a statement here. - I'm sayin' something.
You're saying something.
You've been out of circulation a long time.
The women are liberated now. They're coming on strong.
You gotta come on strong. That's great. Hey.
- Moves, Moe. Moves. - Look at this. Hey.
You know, it was the Fourth of July, five years ago today?
So I was driving through the middle of the desert,
and my car broke down.
It was the Fourth of July.
People were swearing at me and throwing things at me,
and all of a sudden, this guy comes riding out of nowhere in a tow truck
and he rescues me.
Took one look at her and said, "Watch out. This woman's gonna be trouble."
I should have known better. Then she starts telling me her life story.
Then he starts reading me poetry.
But it turns out later that he didn't even write this poetry,
which was pretty good.
His customer writes it. He keeps it around just to show women.
So then she looks up at me with this little clown face,
and I'm really wishing I had written those poems.
- Oh, yeah? Who wrote it? Leon? - No. Fox.
Hank thinks that he understands women, but he doesn't.
Frannie, this is what I'm talking about. This is hot and sexy.
How do you wear these?
I don't think Frannie understands men.
In fact, I don't know any woman who really understands men.
- That depends on the woman. - Yeah.
- I look a little like a tuna fish. - Hank, come on.
You look great. It's a masterpiece.
Great, Tony.
That's a very in look. You know what I mean?
His girlfriend thinks he's boring.
Oh, Frannie. Five years with Hank, and all you've got is time.
Honey, you didn't even wind up with a piece of real estate.
I know.
♪ I'm just a scarecrow without you ♪
♪ Baby, please don't disappear ♪
♪ I beg your pardon, dear ♪
♪ I got a bottle for a trumpet ♪
♪ And a hatbox for a drum ♪
♪ And I beg your pardon, dear ♪
♪ I got upset ♪
♪ I lost my head ♪
♪ I didn't mean ♪
♪ The things I said ♪
♪ You are the landscape ♪
♪ Of my dreams ♪
♪ Darling, I beg your ♪
♪ Pardon ♪
Hi, Hank.
So,
what happened to your hair?
My hair? I had it permed.
- Don't you like it? - Yeah, I like it.
Just looks different. That's all.
It does, huh?
What are you doin' here, Hank?
- I live here. Remember? - Yeah, I remember.
Ah. Taking the gong, huh?
- Where you goin' in that dress? - To hell and back.
You'll probably get there in that dress. You know what that dress says, don't ya?
- What? - "Come and get me, boys. Eat me up."
Well, that's good, 'cause that's exactly what I'm saying.
I'm saying, "Come and get me, boys."
Taking a little trip?
Yeah. Maybe I am.
- Where you goin'? - Me? I'm going to paradise.
I'm not going roller-skating to Henderson, Nevada.
And I'm not going to Reno, and I'm not going fishing in Lake Mead.
I am going to Bora-Bora and Tahiti.
I hear Bora-Bora's very exotic this time of year.
- It's gonna be nice. - Come here. Why don't you shove Bora-Bora?
Oh, Hank.
Please. I'm not gonna wait for you to start living my life.
- No more. You'll be sorry. - What's happened? What's going on?
Stupid suitcase. I'm not a pair of shoes, Hank.
What's going on? How did we get here?
Me standing here watching you go down these steps...
and not even trying to stop ya.
What do you think this means?
God. I don't know what it means.
I guess it means it's over.
- Hello, beautiful. - Me?
Would you mind giving me a light for my cigar, please?
I have a light. Oops!
- I'll let you have it. - Thank you. Have a nice day.
Crazy people.
Maggie!
What do you think of me?
What do I think of you? I think of I'm exhausted.
You look gorgeous. You look like a hot tomato.
- I do? - You look great.
- You smell familiar, though. - Not too mu...
- You wearing my perfume? - A tiny, tiny bit...
A tiny bit? That's $65 an ounce.
Well, it's the Fourth of July, and I thought...
Where are you meeting him?
- Where are you going? - At the place he told me.
Oh, shit. I gave the match to the short guy I never saw before.
- I'll be back. Wait. - Frannie...
Yeah. I play the piano. I sing too.
You wanna meet me 9.00 at the Fremont?
- Hey. Remember me? - Yeah. Miriam.
No. Leslie.
- Are you alone? - No. Somebody's meeting me.
- How many in your party? - Two.
- Buffet or dinner? - Dinner, please.
- Right here. - Thank you.
No funny stuff.
Setup.
Shit.
Hey. Hey, excuse me. Ray?
- I'm Frannie. Remember? - Well, look at this.
You know, I've been thinking about you all day.
- You have, huh? - Yeah, I have.
Let me explain.
You see, what happened is that I sing once in a while,
and, you know, the rest of the time...
- You're a waiter. - I'm a waiter. I'm a waiter.
That's all right. I was a waitress myself once.
In Florida for a long time.
Adam and Eve on a raft. Wreck 'em.
- Wreck two. Got ya, Deena. - Oh, no. She thinks l...
- I'm bothering you. I should go. - No, wait a minute. Don't go.
- Have a glass of wine. I'll join you. - Wine? I didn't order any wine.
- Would you like a club sandwich? - Yes, I'm starving.
There goes a crab leg. That's okay. Here.
- I'm glad to see you. - I'm glad to see you too.
To Bora-Bora and other romantic places.
- Is that my club sandwich there? - Not anymore.
- Let me light the candle. - Don't light this candle.
Why not? It's the Fourth of July. We gotta be happy.
- I'm happy I found you. - I'm happy I found you too.
Look, I was really gonna sing tonight,
but what happened was at the last minute, the owner pulled the plug.
You believe it? I had a real first-class act.
- What are you trying to do to me? - That's show business.
- Madam, I'll take care of it. - Excuse me. Would you mind?
I'm trying to have a reunion with my friend.
Oh, really? I'm trying to have a coffee shop here, Raymond.
Excuse me. I think those are my waffles.
Waffles? We have plenty of waffles.
- You're getting me very mad, Raymond. - Can I have some horseradish here?
"Javeay." "Javeay."
It's Javier.
Raymond, why can't you be more likeJavier?
He sings, but he's completely satisfied with being a waiter.
Are you listening to me? Horseradish, "Javeay."
You're through. You're washed up here.
You never could sing. You can't sing your way out of a paper bag.
- Horseradish. - Don't give it to me. Give it to him.
Look, I've never been treated so badly in a restaurant in all my life.
- I'm so sorry. - This place is the pits.
And you, my friend... you wouldn't know a tit from a tortilla.
That should take care of the bill plus tip.
- Your service is terrible. - Whose fault is that?
- I think you just got fired. - That's okay. You inspire me.
Let's get out of here. I'll see you someday on the strip when I'm singing.
Yeah, save me some passes in the street.
- Hey, fella. Give me the lady's steak. - Fella? What am I, a fella?
I happen to own this joint. You bunch of cannibals.
Your hair looks different.
- Yeah. I had it curled. - You look very beautiful.
- Thank you. So do you. - Thank you.
This is like a dance floor, isn't it?
Oh, I love to dance.
- I used to dance. - Please sit, please.
- Okay. - I guess it's good-bye, Vegas, for me.
- Really? You're really going? - Yeah.
- You see this lounge? - Yes.
It could have had a real class act. Me.
'Cause I do only original material. I had the best musicians in Vegas lined up.
- You're really going, huh? - Yeah.
- Well, where are you going? - I don't know.
Somewhere.
Like in the movie Casablanca. You remember?
- Oh, yeah. - Humphrey Bogart.
He was real cool.
He owned this swank club.
- That could be me. Maybe. - Yeah.
You know, he lost the woman in the end of that movie.
- No, he didn't. - Yeah, he did.
He could have had her, but he gave her up for something greater.
- Yeah? What? - For freedom.
- Freedom? - Yeah.
He should have kept the girl. Wouldn't you?
We'll see.
- I like that. - You do?
- Yes, it's good. - Thank you.
Meet me tonight
It's raining Cuban cigars
"Cuban cigars"?
♪ Meet me tonight ♪
And we'll make love where we are
- We'll see about that. - Kiss me tonight
- It's raining chateaubriand - And Dom Perignon.
It's magic tonight
And you turn me on
- Where are we going? - We're gonna dance.
- Wanna dance? - Okay.
- Can you tango? - A little bit.
Oh, yeah!
Olé!
Hey! Olé!
You should sing.
- You dance divinely. - I know.
Shoot.
Leila, Leila.
She ain't gonna come. I know she ain't gonna come.
You like this hair?
Look, it wasn't my idea. I didn't know.
You know, the guy said, "This is what they wear nowadays.
It's very in."
Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn.
The dish ran away with the spoon
Home again, home again It's Saturday morn
He never gets up before noon
♪ She used to render you legal and tender ♪
♪ When you used to send her your promises, boy ♪
A dillar, a dollar unbutton your collar
And come out and holler out all of your noise
Little Boy Blue come blow your top
Cut it right down to the quick
Don't sit home and cry on the Fourth of July
Around now you're hittin' the bricks
Abracadabra now she's disappeared
Everything's Canada Dry
So watch your behavior and rattle your cage
With a bottle of bourbon good-bye
♪ Little Boy Blue lost Little Bo Peep ♪
♪ She fell through a hole in the nest ♪
Now, ain't it peculiar that she's finally cooled
Your big wheels like all the rest
Whenever it rains the umbrellas complain
♪ They always get played for a chump ♪
So mark it and strike it she's history now
And you're hanging out at the pumps
Fifty-eight, 59, 60.
All right. I said the Fremont Hotel, 9:00.
Excuse me. Excuse me. Fremont Hotel.
Hey, Leila.
- You're still there, aren't you? - Yeah.
- I gave up on ya. - My father locked me into the bathroom.
Ray.
What?
- This is my friend's floor. - I wanna smoke this cigar here.
- Why don't you come with me? - I can't.
Come on, Frannie. Why can't you?
- Come with me now. - I can't.
- You're gonna have to tell me to go. - When are we gonna get going?
- You should go, Ray. - You really want me to?
I should... I'd like to go with you, but my friend is waiting.
Come on. Come with me, huh?
- She should go home now. - I'm on my knees.
- I can't. - I'm on my knees.
Rough luck.
Keep guessing.
We're in the old factory, and you're the night watchman.
No. Not quite.
We're in the dungeon of the Marquis de Sade,
and I'm your prisoner.
- I wish you were. - No. Wait.
We're in the Taj Mahal, and this is your garden.
- I saw a shooting star! - Did you make a wish?
This is the garden of the Taj Mahal.
You know the Taj Mahal was built for a woman?
Really?
This is where I come to think.
- You want a swig? - Yeah.
Oh, me.
Okay. I'll do it. I'll go.
So...
- Hi. - Hi.
You know, I was never gonna do it again.
But I wanna do it for you.
- Wait. - Please, do it for me.
Spotlight! Drumroll!
For the first time, Los Trapenos.!
Ta-da.
Be careful! Those are high-tension wires!
Bravo!
Moe's not gonna believe this one, I'll tell you that.
I call this "Used Carlotta."
Bravo!
- You'd better catch me. - I got ya.
My place.
It's nice.
Can I ask you a personal question?
- Personal? - Yeah.
- I guess so. - Do you fall in love a lot?
No.
In high school, we used to go to the drive-ins.
- It must have been so sexy. - You wanna go to a drive-in?
- Yeah. Very sexy. - You could have a boyfriend.
It's kinda cool, isn't it? It gets kinda cool here in the desert.
You want some of this blanket?
- You never went to high school? - No.
Listen. Did you ever have a boyfriend?
- Ever went to the drive-in? - No.
- Want some music? - No.
What do you want? Tell you what I want.
♪ Say, have you seen the carioca ♪
♪ It's not a fox-trot or a polka ♪
♪ It has a little bit of new rhythm ♪
♪ Ofblue rhythm that sighs ♪
♪ It has a meter that is tricky ♪
♪ A bit of wicked wacky-wicky ♪
♪ But when you dance it with a new love ♪
♪ There'll be true love in his eyes ♪
♪ You'll dream of the new carioca ♪
♪ Its theme is a kiss and a sigh ♪
♪ You'll dream of the new carioca ♪
♪ When music and lights are gone and we're saying good-bye ♪
♪ Two heads together they say are better than one ♪
♪ Two heads together that's how this dance is begun ♪
♪ Two arms around you and lips that sigh I'm yours and you are mine ♪
Frannie.
- What are you doing? - It's nothing.
- Just a little something. - I knew it. I knew it!
I knew!
Oh, come on. Come on.
Hello, Fran. Oh, Maggie? Maggie, let me talk to Fran.
- Yeah. Is she there? - You got the wrong number.
What do you mean, wrong number? Wrong number, my ass. What?
Wait a minute.!
Hey, Moe. You remember the circus girl? Well, she's here.
Yeah. Hey, go to my house, pick up my car in front, huh?
- Okay. Yeah, I gotta find Frannie. - Wait a minute.
- All right. I know it's implausible. - Slow down.
Bye.
- Good mornin'. - Guten Morgen.
- So, how was your sleep? - Good. Very good. You?
- Getting up early, huh? - Early bird gets the worm.
- Well, I guess so. - Who the hell wants a worm?
So, heard you on the phone over there.
- A bit early, isn't it? - I talk to this business acquaintance.
- Fender man. - Mm-hmm.
- Workin' out of Long Beach. - Hmm.
Long Beach.
Hey, what's that?
That? That's something I picked up at Caesar's Palace.
Basic ruby ring, that's all it is.
Do you know what that is?
It's the all-seeing eye.
Now, that tells the truth.
Oh, yeah?
Can you tell fortunes?
Unfortunately, yes.
She's with that guy, isn't she?
Love is for suckers.
I was thinking you oughta spend more time with people who understand you,
people who want the same things you want.
- People like you maybe? - You got it.
Well, what would we do, Ray?
- We would follow our hearts. - Where to?
- Wherever they take us. - Really?
Sure. We could go to the airport, take a plane...
- and wake up in Paris or Rome, - Mmm.
the South Pacific, hmm?
- We couldn't do that. - Why not?
- Not really. - What do you mean we couldn't do it?
What's stopping us? You got the travel agency. I got money.
Perfect. Tonight, Bora-Bora.
- We could, you know. - Yes, we could and we will.
We could actually do it.
- We will. You wanna do it? - On the beach.
- With the starfish.
- Yeah. - On top of each other.
- Piña coladas. - Coconuts.
Step on it, Moe.
When you love a married man, you have to learn.
- I'm not a married man. - Yeah? You step out there together,
but you gotta come back alone.
It's a high-wire act.
Yeah. Right. Love is a high-wire act, especially with this guy.
Keep 'em comin', Moe.
If you wanna get rid of a circus girl, all you gotta do is close your eyes.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Then what, circus girl?
Then she disappears.
Like spit on a griddle.
- Let's see if Frannie's here. - Hank! Hank!
What?
Hank, run away with me, Hank. Let's run away from Las Vegas.
Will you? Come on. Take a chance.
I wouldn't hurt you for anything, Leila.
I mean, I really... I really...
I love you too, Hank.
You're beautiful.
Leila, wait a second. I'll be right back, okay?
Remember. Spit on a griddle.
Leila.
Leila?
- Come on. Come on. - We gotta talk to her.
Slow down. Take it easy. We're in no big hurry here.
Maggie!
It's Sunday mornin', Hank. There's people sleepin' here.
Maggie!
- Who is it? - It's me. Hank.
- Hank? - Open the door. I gotta talk to ya.
Why don't you come back... Jesus... come back later when we're up?
Come on, Maggie. Open the door. I gotta talk to ya.
- Please. - Yeah?
- Where's Frannie? - Sleeping.
- Well, wake her up. I gotta talk to her. - I'm not waking her up.
- She's not feeling well. - Well, neither am I.
- Would you open the door, please? - I'm not opening this door, Hank.
Maggie, I'm gonna break the door down!
The hell you're gonna break the door down.
Jesus Christ! You crazy, you son of a gun? You animal, you!
- You'd better open the door, Maggie. - Hank!
- She's not in there.! - Frannie! Frannie!
I knew it. I knew it!
She's not here. She's not here. She hasn't been here all night.
- I've never had the pleasure. - It's my pleasure, I assure you.
- Maggie Levine. It's really Leveen. - I can't breathe.
I can't believe all these years, and I never met you.
- It's my heart. - You all right, honey?
- You're gonna be all right. - Have a drink.
You want a cigarette? Here. Have a cigarette, sweetheart.
- I don't want a cigarette. - You want coffee? I make great coffee.
- I don't want any. Where is she, Maggie? - Who knows?
- You know. You know where she is. - You all right?
You all right? You promise me you're gonna behave yourself?
I'm okay. Really.
- Okay. She's with a friend. - Yeah. The tuxedo guy?
She's entitled to have friends, isn't she?
- It's all right. - Everybody's gotta have friends, huh?
- Yeah. See there. - Probably a relative or something.
- What's his name? - His name's Ray.
He plays the piano, and he works at this place called the Tropical.
- They'll know where he lives. - The Tropical? You know the Tropical!
- Come on, Moe! - Wait a minute.
I trusted you.! You gonna be good to her, at least?
- I love her! - - Well, then spend some money on her.!
I'm gonna break some legs, man. I'm gonna call that guy, Al.
- Okay, man. - Can you handle it all right?
Let's get goin', man. Quit the talkin'. Hey, Moe!
♪ You can't unring a bell, Junior ♪
♪ It'll cost you to get out of this one, Junior ♪
♪ She's got big plans ♪
♪ That don't include you ♪
♪ Take it like a man ♪
♪ 'Cause you you can't unring a bell ♪
♪ Sucker ♪
♪ You'll need an attorney for this journey ♪
- Who is it? - Room service.
We didn't order any room service.
♪ How's it feel ♪
♪ How do you like it in the slam ♪
♪ You're a little man in a great big town ♪
♪ Perhaps you were a little hasty ♪
♪ You can't take back the things you said ♪
- Hank? - Frannie!
- What are you doing here? - Leave me alone once and for all.
- Goddamn your ass. - What are you doing?
What am I doing? What are you doing?
Get your hands off of me.
- Mister, relax, okay? - You fool with my woman.
You tellin' me to relax? You tellin' me to relax?
Have a cigarette.
I don't want a cigarette. I want my woman.
- I'm not your woman. - Take it easy. You heard what she said.
You take it easy. We don't need an interpreter.
- You have to let me go. - I don't wanna have to use this.
- I don't wanna have to use it. - Don't push it.
I'm going. Yes, we're leaving. I got it.
- Oh, shit. No. - You can't do that.
You just can't break into people's apartments like that.
- That's what I'm doing. - Let go of me.
- Now I am really mad! - Put me down and we'll talk this over.
You wanted something different, didn't you?
This exciting enough?
- Is this different enough? - I'm calling the cops, you son of a bitch!
- Shut up! - Hold it!
You don't understand. I don't wanna be with you anymore.
- Don't you get it? - You're gonna get it!
This is humiliating. It's not even stupid. It's embarrassing.
- Get out of the way! - And I won't shut up. I don't wanna.
♪ Say, have you seen the carioca ♪
♪ It's not a fox-trot or a polka ♪
♪ It has a little bit of new rhythm of blue rhythm that sighs ♪
Terrific. Just what I feel like doing...
taking a nice little naked ride on a Sunday afternoon with somebody I hate.
I'm not exactly crazy about you.
What are you looking at? Haven't you ever seen breasts before?
- Here. Cover yourself up. - Big deal. Why don't you take a picture?
- It'll last longer. - Fuck off, meatball!
I don't care anymore, okay? I just don't care.
Hang on.
You gonna... that guy?
I mean, what is it? What's the deal?
- He's different? - Well, he doesn't yell at me, you know.
- He sings to me. - Sings to ya?
Yes.
- Hank, are you crying? - No. I don't cry.
Well, good.
Don't you know I'd sing to ya if I could sing to ya?
I can't sing, honey.
Oh, Hank.
Can't you see this is breaking my heart now, Hank?
We've been saying good-bye for years, honey.
This time it's really good-bye.
Bye, Hank.
Let's hear it for Miller time.
A vacation. Just the two of us alone together.
Bora-Bora, here we come.
- Why not? - ♪ You can't unring a bell ♪
- Why not? - ♪ Junior ♪
♪ It'll cost you to get out of this one ♪
♪ Junior ♪
♪ She's got big plans ♪
- ♪ That don't include you ♪ - I can't believe it.
The airport. I'm finally going someplace.
♪ Take it like a man ♪
Come on. Hurry. We don't wanna miss the plane.
Bora-Bora. I'll give you Bora-Bora.
♪ 'Cause you can't unring a bell ♪
I didn't come here to lose you to some Rudolph "Vaselino" guy.
I'll tell you that.
You know, the island of Bora-Bora is really only 20 miles around.
I mean, you could practically walk around it in a day if you wanted.
It's 500 miles from Tahiti,
but first you have to make a connecting flight from Papeete.
- It's one of the Fiji islands. - Are you a little nervous?
No, I'm not nervous. Why? Am I talking too much?
♪ How's it feel ♪
♪ You're a little man ♪
♪ In a great big town ♪
You meathead! What's your problem?
- ♪ Perhaps you were a little hasty ♪ - Buddy, I'm sorry. Look...
- You shouldn't be parking here. - Sorry.
I'm not normally like this, but I got a plane to catch. Here.
♪ You can't take back the things you said ♪
♪ Man ♪
♪ 'Cause you can't unring a bell ♪
- ♪ Junior ♪ - Do you have a flight to Bora-Bora?
- The end of the counter. - Don't let this guy in front.
He's a little on the crazy side, isn't he?
He's not crazy. He was just hurt.
- Excuse me. - ♪ Get it through your head ♪
Excuse me.
- ♪ You can't lie your way out of this ♪ - I'm sorry, sir.
You're gonna have to wait at the end of the line.
- How long did you live together? - Five years.
That's a long time to live with the wrong person.
- When did you split up? - The day before yesterday.
- We don't fly to Bora-Bora. - Who does fly to Bora-Bora?
- You'll have to go to Los Angeles. - When's your flight to Los Angeles?
- We don't fly to Los Angeles. - Why are you giving me such a hard time?
I am not giving you a hard time. You're giving all of us a hard time.
- Tell me or I'm gonna jump over this counter. - P.S.A. has the last flight to Los Angeles.
- Thank you. - But it's already left.
♪ Yeah, she's got big plans ♪
♪ With a guy from South America ♪
Frannie!
Frannie! Hey!
♪ It hurts, don't it ♪
♪ Better get down on your knees ♪
- ♪ Suffer ♪ - Frannie!
- Hey, Frannie! - Hank!
- Frannie! - Not again.
What are you doing?
- I thought I'd do some traveling. - Yeah? Where to?
- I was thinkin' of Bora-Bora. - Come on, Frannie.
- Let's go in. - You ain't got no passport, okay?
- I'll get a passport. Excuse me. - Please. Come on.
- Where do you get a passport? - Hank, I gotta go.
I wouldn't get on this plane if I were you.
- Come on. Let's go, Frannie. - The wing looks a little funny.
- Please. Come on. - Hank, I'm through fighting.
Come on, Frannie. Come on back, Frannie.
- Come with me, okay? - Don't go, Frannie.
I didn't come here to fight with ya. I came to sing to ya.
You are my sunshine my only sunshine
You make me happy
♪ When skies are gray ♪
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
- Come on, Frannie. - That was nice.
Frannie, come on home.
Come on back, Frannie.
Frannie, please. Come on, Frannie.
- The plane is leaving. - It's too late. It's too late.
Frannie.
♪ I should go out and honk the horn ♪
♪ It's Independence Day ♪
♪ Instead I just pour myself a drink ♪
♪ It's got to be love I've never felt this way ♪
♪ Oh, baby this one's from the heart ♪
♪ The shadows on the wall ♪
♪ Look like a railroad track ♪
♪ I wonder ifhe's ever ♪
♪ Comin'back ♪
♪ The moon's a yellow stain ♪
♪ Across the sky ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ This one's from the heart ♪
♪ Blonds, brunettes and redheads ♪
♪ Put their hammer down ♪
♪ To pound a cold chisel through my heart ♪
♪ But they were nothing but apostrophes ♪
♪ Oh, baby this one's from the heart ♪
♪ I can't tell Is that a siren ♪
♪ Or a saxophone ♪
♪ But the roads get so slippery ♪
♪ When it rains ♪
♪ I love you ♪
♪ More than all these words can ever say ♪
♪ Oh, baby this one's from the heart ♪
Oh, Frannie. Frannie.
I made a mistake.
♪ Take me home ♪
♪ You silly boy ♪
♪ Put your arms ♪
♪ Around me ♪
♪ Take me home ♪
- ♪ You silly boy ♪ - I love you.
♪ Oh, the world's not round ♪
- ♪ Without you ♪ - Ohh, Frannie.
♪ I'm so sorry ♪
♪ That I broke your heart ♪
- ♪ Please don't leave my side ♪ - It's gonna be all right.
♪ Take me home ♪
♪ You silly boy ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm still in love ♪
♪ With you ♪
♪ I should go out and honk the horn ♪
♪ It's Independence Day ♪
♪ But instead I'll just pour myself a drink ♪
♪ It's got to be love ♪
♪ I've never felt this way ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ This one's from the heart ♪
♪ The shadows on the wall ♪
♪ Look like a railroad track ♪
♪ I wonder ifhe's ever ♪
♪ Comin'back ♪
♪ The moon's a yellow stain ♪
♪ Across the sky ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ This one's from the heart ♪
♪ Maybe I'll go down to the corner ♪
♪ And get a racing form ♪
♪ But I should probably wait here ♪
♪ By the phone ♪
♪ The brakes need adjustment ♪
♪ On the convertible ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ This one's from the heart ♪
♪ The wind is climbin'♪
♪ The avocado tree ♪
♪ Rubbin'its back ♪
♪ Against the wall ♪
♪ I pour myself a double sympathy ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ This one's from the heart ♪
♪ And blonds, brunettes and redheads ♪
♪ Put their hammer down ♪
♪ To pound a cold chisel through my heart ♪
♪ But they were nothin'♪
♪ But apostrophes ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ This one's from the heart ♪
-- English --