Hey, man, what's this "having
a picnic" shit in my car?
Please, man, I'm not
gettin' my sex at home.
Don't deny me this.
What are you talking about?
You sleep with a beautiful
woman every night.
I'm married.
That's what "married" means.
You sleep together
but you can't get none.
Why don't you watch it
with all that shit, all right?
Hey, look, where's
your cup-holders?
I don't have one.
What do you mean?
$80,000 for this car and you
ain't got no damn cup-holder?
It's $105,000, this happens
to be one of the fastest
production cars on the planet.
0 to 60 in
four seconds, sweetie.
This is a limited edition.
You damn right it's limited!
No cup-holder, no back seat.
It's a shiny dick
with two chairs in it.
I guess we the balls,
just dragging the fuck along.
Oh, damn!
Sorry.
Get it.
I can't get down there.
Engineering flaw up in here.
My shit ain't going down
up in there.
Go! Titty-titty,
strutty-strutty.
MAN 1: Go on.
Make them want it.
MIKE: I ain't your wife to be
cleaning up after your
filthy ass.
You watch my hand, okay?
And when it does, it
gets stuck.
Now, what do you come
up with? You got this shit.
You gonna get that fry.
This ain't no goddamn
Denny's. No eating in my...
MARCUS: I wouldn't be buying
Denny's anyway, not like
the way we been treated.
They bit, Jack. Let's
gank these fools!
MARCUS: Damn fry.
You all up in that.
Get out of
the car, man.
Shit.
What the fuck?
MAN 2: We've had
a big week.
So just get the fuck
out of the car.
Damn! What are you
weighing, 350?
I bet you're a big
Popeye Chicken-eating
motherfucker, ain't you?
Hey, hey.
Why I always got to get the
big, thick motherfuckers?
MAN 2: Out of the car now!
All right! All right!
All right!
Hold on!
Now this is some funny shit.
Let me tell you how bad
a day you're having.
Right now, you're jacking
a couple cops.
Oh, yeah? Well, I'm
a stand-up comedian,
and I suck!
That's why I need your car.
Now, I ain't no Wesley Snipes.
I just hang out with
stupid-ass friends that drive
stupid-ass cars
that attract a lot of
motherfucking attention!
I need to jump over this car
and smack your head.
That's what I need to do.
You know what?
You're arguing over
a motherfucking French fry.
It's not about a fry.
It's about a lack of respect
for other people's property!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Shut the fuck up!
That shit is stupid!
Hold the fuck on!
MAN 1: Shut up! Shut up!
If you want some bad
enough, come get some!
[GRUNTING]
You like that shit?
Wesley Snipes,
Passenger 57.
Now give me a
motherfucking Handi Wipe.
Now let's hear one
of those jokes, bitch.
What do you think, guys?
Looks like the real thing.
You remember your assignment?
Yeah, I'm the decoy.
Yes, you are.
[SCREAMS]
CASPER: What the fuck
are you doing?
Hello, police?
I just saw something terrible,
a policeman shot
on South Miami and
First Street. Help, please!
WOMAN [OVER RADIO]:
Officer down. Officer down.
Respond code 3.
All units in the vicinity,
respond and identify.
MAN 1: This is Air Unit 2.
We've got a full perimeter.
MAN 2: Officer down.
We need additional
ground units.
WOMAN: Air 3, roger.
Suspect or suspects unknown.
FOUCHET:
Gentlemen, it's clear.
MAN 1 [OVER RADIO]:
We're inside.
We're in.
You got 20 minutes.
(FARTING)
Oh... Goddamn taco's
gonna kill me.
MAN 2: Okay, guys, we got
12 minutes. Come on, let's go.
[BEEPING]
MAN 1:
Clear. We're in.
MAN 3: Move your ass.
We got six minutes.
MAN 4:
Ready.
MAN 3:
Ready to fire. Go!
Fire!
Go!
MAN 5:
Move!
[MEN LAUGHING]
[FOGHORN BLOWS]
[RAP MUSIC PLAYS
OVER SPEAKER]
Oh.
Ooh.
Damn!
Did you have sweet dreams?
You're so nasty.
Mm-hm.
You always saying
you want quality time.
Well, right now I got
the time and you damn
sure got the quality.
Come on now.
Uh-uh.
You know what it is?
I can't remember
the last time that we
fell asleep together.
Baby...
Baby, it's my job.
It's what it requires.
You know I'm a better cop
when I get some in
the morning.
I feel lighter on my feet.
You're going to have
to keep it in your pants,
because I hear three
little Burnetts coming.
That's cold.
You gonna leave me here
like a humping dog.
[KIDS YELLING]
THERESA: Hi, baby boy!
Daddy! Daddy!
MARCUS: What's up?
Dad, at school, people say
I look weird.
They say my ears look funny.
Boy, your daddy has that
same problem. I got the ears.
But you know what?
They just out there for you to
listen to people's problems.
You're an angel.
These are your wings.
Flap, flap. That's all.
THERESA: James, stop!
Would you take them off?
And don't let me have to
come down to that school.
I'll arrest the principal.
Mom, mom.
THERESA: What?
Talking about my boy's ears.
Uncle Mike's in the house!
What's up, Uncle Mike?
MIKE: Partner, partner!
What's going on?
Quincy, check that out.
QUINCY: What'd you take
my food for?
Don't kiss me, Mike!
I don't know where your lips
were last night. Move.
Uncle Mike, did you
have a date last night?
Ooh, did I!
Let me tell you, boy,
now this girl was...
Hey, don't you go telling
my son none of your sleazy
sex stories.
I only tell your husband
my sleazy sex stories.
Hey.
I don't want him knowing about
them either. It gives
him ideas.
[PHONE RINGS]
Why you put me in this?
I'm with my babies.
Okay? Thank you.
Hello.
Eat. Go on, girl.
No problem.
Man, she was
a blu-bla-blam...
Oh.
You're on the mike with Mike.
Want Daddy to wipe your mouth?
I think you mean to say,
"Get our asses down there,
please," Captain.
[DIAL TONE]
Maybe not.
Hey, baby!
Hey, Francine,
where's Howard?
Down there. He's looking
for you. He's been in
better moods.
Aw, damn!
HOWARD: Get it done,
goddamn it!
Welcome to our
nightmare, boys.
See this?
What's wrong with
this picture, huh?
Remember this room?
These slats, they look
familiar, don't they?
There was these silver packets
they looked like bricks.
Little red tags on them,
about so high?
All that heroin, gone.
This was our career bust.
This was, what, $100 million?
Gone!
MARCUS: Oh, this is bad.
No, let me call it what it is,
this is fucked up!
You got that right,
detective.
Hello, Alison.
You guys know
Captain Sinclair, Internal
Affairs' top watchdog.
You know, I'd actually
take that as a compliment if
I didn't know you so well.
Excuse me, but if you two
want to get personal,
I could step out.
There's nothing personal
going on here.
I'm just doing my job.
I mean, I love knowing that
one leak, one headline
can turn this nightmare
into a media frenzy.
That's not gonna happen.
We're gonna get the dope back
before that ever happens.
Good. Why don't you start
by looking here,
because this had
to have been an inside job.
And I'm gonna find
out about it.
Sanchez, Ruiz,
you guys are late.
So they put this in for
toxic drug fumes?
Yeah, this was a brilliant
design. This was really
intelligent. I like this.
I didn't ask how he feels.
I said, what did he see?
What does he know?
Where were y'all
last night, man?
Why don't y'all just have
your cousins bring
the shit back and we can
all get some sleep.
We were gonna do that,
but you know what happened?
We came up with a problem.
Your mama snorted
up all the dope.
All right, you two,
get over there.
O'Fee's gonna be all right,
but he's got nothing
to tell us.
So they kill a decoy,
it empties the station.
Very smart.
But they don't kill
a real cop,
'cause they know they'd have
the whole force on their ass.
This was your case.
You're back on it.
Sanchez, Ruiz, you back them
up with whatever they need.
With whatever they need.
Shut your mouths.
All right,
but now wait a second.
It was Carrera's drugs
in the first place, right?
But it couldn't have
been him, because he was
killed in prison.
What about the rest
of his crew?
The rest of those idiots don't
have the precision to do this.
But just in case I'm wrong,
you guys check them out.
Yeah, they'd have been up
in here with Uzis, splashing
O'Fee all over the place.
It takes brains to
pull something like this.
Big cojones too.
What the hell are you
talking about, cojones?
It would take me
a month to explain to you
what cojones are.
You're in Miami,
don't know cojones?
English.
Ho! Ho! Hey!
We got nothing.
What's the matter with you?
We've got nothing.
The guy who pulled this off
knew what he was doing.
And he left us nothing
but a big "fuck you."
Ruiz, Sanchez,
find out who installed
the ventilating system, okay?
Do that now.
Oh, that's cold.
SANCHEZ: So's your mama's bed.
This could definitely be an
inside job. Don't rule it out.
The way I see it,
we got 72 hours
before the FBI and the DEA
walk in here and shut us down.
And we're gonna
be the bad guys.
The politics demand that
somebody take the rap for
this, and it's gonna be us.
Just do what you do.
Only faster.
Jojo. What's up?
You still a chemist, right?
Cutting drugs and
shit like that, huh?
I don't know nothing
about that, man.
I'm out of the drug business.
You know something.
I just said "no" to drugs.
You said "no" to drugs.
What you into, Jo?
Rubber, rubber, rubber.
Check it out.
You're selling tires, huh?
Yeah.
So you don't know nothing?
Jojo don't know nothing.
I know tires.
You telling me
the truth, right?
Would I lie to you?
Would you lie to me?
Hey! You driving.
MARCUS: Yo, man,
this is a waste of time.
Oh, come on, man.
I keep telling you,
in Maxie's line of work,
she definitely gets the 411.
Maxie! How'd I know
I was gonna find
you up in here?
Listen, Max, we got to talk.
Is there some place we can go?
Yeah, the equipment room.
Behave yourself.
MARCUS: Oh, I'm cool.
Ooh...
Listen, I need some help.
Again.
So, what else is new?
[GRUNTS]
Oh, sh...
Some major, major ill shit
happened down at the P.D.
There's a lot of heroin
involved, there's gonna
be a lot of cash involved.
There's definitely gonna be
some jolly young men running
around who want to party.
What do you need?
There's a lot of
people who will
talk to you that
won't talk to me.
You mean customers?
Listen, I'm not asking you to
get into any wild shit. Just
call me if you hear something.
I think I will
call you.
Mm.
What the hell are you doing?
Trying to keep my shit quick.
Oh, that's right, ain't
getting none at home.
You got a little extra energy.
Go ahead, burn it off.
Hey, we got anything,
Francine?
Sanchez says that
the air conditioning contract
went to
Manuel Arrona of Key Biscayne.
He's working out of his house
this week. That's the number.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
He's not answering.
I guess we
should just leave.
What, make a trip
all the way down here to
high society for nothing?
No, man. That's what
they got windows for.
We can peek in.
Oh, yeah, that
should be okay.
I tripped.
The handle just
opened for you?
Right after I tripped,
it just opened.
I guess they
want us to come in.
Take a peek.
Hello!
We're your new neighbors.
Don't be alarmed.
We're Negroes.
No, man! No. That's too
much bass in your voice.
That scare white folks.
You got to sound like them.
[IN NASAL VOICE]
We were wondering if we can
borrow some brown sugar.
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
You fart?
No, man.
BOTH: Dead guy.
MARCUS: Ugh.
Well, looks like
somebody's home.
[FLIES BUZZING]
Okay, let me take
a stab at this one.
He sells the ventilation
plans to the bad guys.
He gets rich,
but he gets dead.
You're right on that one.
I'm going to go call Homicide.
Whoa, whoa, wait.
Why do you act like this every
time we around a dead body?
It's cool. I just...
Please? Look around.
The smell and the...
It's just unexpected,
that's all.
[GROANING]
It looks like our buddy
Arrona was a bit of a gambler.
Got dog track, jai alai...
Probably needed the
money to pay off his debts.
Bookie.
Oops.
Damn, man!
Watch where you
swinging the dead leg.
My bad, my bad.
Damn this.
I'm calling Homicide.
I'm a narcotics cop.
Dead bodies...
Dead ends.
Maggots.
What's wrong
with you, man?
[STAMMERING]
Hey, what do you say we
grab a couple of burritos?
You know, you drive
almost slow enough
to drive Miss Daisy.
[CHUCKLES]
Hey, man,
the transaction is done.
We ain't got shit,
so it's over.
Relax, man. We got it
before, we'll get it again.
Yeah, yeah. You got it all
figured out, don't you?
Oh, you got to
have faith, player.
Let me tell you something,
all right?
By the time we figured
out how, we'd be out of a job.
No, scratch that.
Everybody in the damn
unit will be out of a job!
Oh, but don't worry!
They tend to think
Mike Lowrey going
to be all right.
Especially since they think
you some rich kid playing cop.
Look, man, I ain't
got no trust fund.
Okay, see, for me,
no job, no check.
That's like all
the other guys in the unit.
At least, most of us.
So I'm playing cop now?
This is a game?
I'm just joking around, huh?
You always wanted to be
Starsky or Hutch.
You know what, man?
I'm so sick of this bullshit.
What, I'm supposed
to apologize
for my family
leaving me money?
All I ever wanted
to be was a cop.
I get up early
and I take it to the max
every day.
I'm the first guy
through the door
and I'm always the last guy
to leave the crime scene.
So you know what?
Fuck you, and fuck them!
And fuck anybody who got
a problem with Mike Lowrey!
I love you, man.
Fuck you, Marcus.
I do.
You're cool, man.
You're my partner.
Shut up. Shut up, man.
Slow-ass driver.
You driving like a bitch.
Why I got to be all that?
Slow-ass.
I'll take me and you off this
fucking cliff, if you
keep fucking with me.
All right?
Then it would be, what,
two bitches in the sea?
Is that it?
Is that what you want?
Shut up, Marcus.
My wife know I ain't no bitch.
I'm a bad boy.
Bad boys, bad boys.
What you gonna do?
What you gonna do
when they come for you?
Shelly, only models
and that's all.
Max just dropped by.
I got to go. Bye.
What's this that you want
me to call around looking
for the newly rich?
Are there any new guys
partying a lot, spending
a lot of money?
Actually, this guy called me
this morning, desperate,
every two hours, looking for
new girls in town. Are you
available this afternoon?
It'll be a quick $2000.
I've got plans with Julie.
She's your roommate, right?
Yeah.
So bring her. She's cute,
she's sexy, go on.
She's not
a working girl, Lois.
Doesn't matter.
This guy's on speedballs.
He's probably so messed up
he can't even get it up.
Well, all right, maybe
we'll go check it out.
Could be the party
I'm looking for.
JULIE: A party
at the Biltmore?
Yeah, that'll really rock.
MAX: Okay, Julie,
I owe you one.
Forget about it. I'll just
deduct it from the hundreds
of favors I already owe you.
Am I turning into the guest
that won't leave?
No, I like having
you live with me.
JULIE: I'm an out-of-work
photographer who doesn't know
how to cook.
I mean, not a big
upside for you there.
So, what incredibly hip
individual inspired this
little visit to the Biltmore?
It's a favor
for Mike Lowrey.
Oh, right. The cop who
I think you're just maybe
a little bit in love with.
Well, maybe I am.
But we're just friends, and...
And if I were ever in trouble,
he's the only person I'd call.
I know, I know. I think
I've heard this before.
[SNIFFLING]
Hello.
Hi.
You must be Max.
Welcome.
I'm Eddie.
To the Al Capone suite.
So I guess we're
a little early.
This is my friend Julie.
Julie.
Hi.
You like Al Capone,
don't you?
I hadn't really thought
about it much.
I'm not kidding about
this being Capone's.
He had the place rigged
with secret passageways.
Ten minutes,
we're out of here.
Five.
Julie. One drink.
EDDIE: What's
the whispering about?
One sip.
Just girl chat.
Where's the bathroom?
Upstairs on your right.
Watch your step.
Come.
Sit.
Okay.
EDDIE: Enjoy yourself. Relax.
Eddie's got some
favors to play with.
MAX: Yes, that he does.
I should've told you sooner
about Eddie's private party.
Well, now it's
a surprise party.
Okay, Max, I think
we've been here about
five minutes too long.
I see you treat
yourself well, Eddie.
Yeah.
I needed to blow off
a little steam after the,
uh...
The move, you know.
So I...
A little party with a
couple friends, you know
how it is, that's all.
I was going to
invite you guys.
Invite?
Looks like I'm catering this.
I was looking for
my 2 keys of dope,
and now I know where they are.
Yours? Man, it's our score.
And the girl?
EDDIE: Nobody.
Just entertainment.
Hi. I'm Max.
Nice to meet you, Max.
I like a woman who
takes pride in her appearance.
Don't you?
Yeah, I hate when a
bitch lets herself slide.
You look like a model in that
dress.
Will you model for me, Max?
Oh, great.
It's the goon squad.
[SCREAMS]
[SCREAMING]
FOUCHET: You were a cop
for so long, you should know
hookers talk.
You couldn't wait four more
days until I made the deal?
I can't work with
that kind of stupidity!
EDDIE: Stupidity?
I got you connected inside.
I brought you my family.
Eddie.
It's my family now.
EDDIE: Fouchet,
we're still friends.
What are you guys doing?
You pissed him off.
CASPER: Use a smaller gun.
You got blood on me again.
Hey. Somebody's
up there! Upstairs!
CASPER: Get her! Move, Fergie.
Get her!
[MEN YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
What the fuck?
CASPER: Shoot her!
[GASPS]
I got her.
I got her!
Bullshit, I got her.
What do you know
about shooting?
I can't believe she made it!
Jesus!
Are you serious?
She jumped.
Fuck!
Find out who she worked for,
and find out where she lives.
[SIRENS WAILING]
[HORN HONKS]
It's about fucking time!
Lowrey. Burnett.
Come here. Come here.
Look at this. See this guy?
He's dead, right?
Look familiar?
Eddie Dominguez.
The ex-cop.
Two points for you.
And there's some of our
high-grade heroin over there.
There's a headline
Sinclair's gonna love.
HOWARD: Look, there's no
signs of forced entry.
What the fuck is all this?
Look like Beirut.
It's the Al Capone suite.
What can I say?
Shit happens.
It's a shitty day.
Real shitty day.
Looks like we got
over here, gentlemen.
Seems to me, somebody's
missing from the party.
All right, listen to me.
Your only function in life
right now is to find that
person. You find her.
It's the only good lead
we got all day. You find her.
Look, man.
I'm gonna check all
calls to the room.
MIKE: Hey, what you got
over there, partner?
Cover her.
HOWARD: He knew the girl, huh?
Look, man.
All right,
we'll get the witness and
the fools who did this.
Yeah.
Listen, why don't you see if
you can catch
a ride with Howard?
Whoa.
Where you going?
Eight calls were made
to Lois Fields, that's who
Max used to work for.
So I'm gonna check it out.
All right,
well, I'll come with you.
No, why don't
we just catch up later.
You okay?
I'm cool.
Hello? Hello? Hello?
Shit!
Yeah, baby. Look, baby,
I know quality
time was my idea.
THERESA [OVER PHONE]:
Don't talk to me
about quality time.
Hold on, babe.
Look here, I need a full
file on Eddie Dominguez.
MAN: That will take
a minute.
Hold on.
THERESA: I got on the red one.
Baby?
You have on the red one?
The one with the snaps?
Why couldn't you wait till...
You're never home, baby.
Theresa, hold on.
MAN:
All his files are blocked.
Hey, I don't give a damn
about his personal files.
The man's dead. Unblock it.
MAN:
Screw you, that's illegal.
No, screw you!
THERESA:
Marcus, are you talking to me?
No, I'm not talking to no...
It's a term you use, baby.
"Screw you" is a cop term.
You ain't screwing nothing!
Theres...
Goddamn it!
HOWARD: Where's Lowrey?
I just paged him.
He's following up
this Lois Fields lead.
The madam?
21-2, request backup.
614 Reach Road.
WOMAN [OVER RADIO]:
21-2, backup. Reach Road.
[GRUNTING]
[PHONE RINGS]
That might be him.
Yeah, Lowrey's desk.
I need to talk
to Detective Mike Lowrey.
HOWARD [OVER PHONE]:
This is Captain Howard.
Can I help you?
You can get me
Detective Lowrey.
Look, this is not another
paternity case is it?
No, it's another murder case,
you twerp!
You're talking about the
murder case at the Biltmore
Hotel tonight?
Listen, I've just seen my
best friend get murdered.
And I'll only
talk to Mike Lowrey.
Why only Mike Lowrey?
I have a detective here...
None of your fucking business,
all right? Either Lowrey
or I'm gonna blow town.
Mike, phone! Telephone!
Mike!
He's coming right now.
Hold on, please.
Talk to her.
I ain't got time
for these games.
Talk to her.
This is the witness,
the girl at the hotel.
Yeah, he just got out
of the john. Hold on.
Talk to her now.
Talk to her now or
she's gonna walk.
Captain, I can't be
no Mike, man.
Just talk to her.
She's going to walk out.
This is our witness.
Calm down!
Hello.
This is Mike Lowrey.
He doesn't talk that way.
Talk like him.
Try to talk sexy.
You don't sound
sexy enough.
Captain!
Damn!
You don't know me.
My name's Julie Mott.
And I was Max Logan's
best friend.
Okay, whoa, calm
down, calm down.
Talk to me now.
Yeah.
And she said if she
ever needed anything...
[CRYING]
I need your help.
Give me the address.
All right. Okay.
It's gonna be all right.
Hey, Mike's to the rescue.
I'm on the way.
All right.
Let me see
if I can find Lowrey.
Hey, I can't go.
But you gotta go! Go.
Get Mike down here, man.
Handle this.
Go now. Get out of the chair!
I'll wait till Mike get here.
You won't see your wife for
a month! Get out of the chair!
Get this fucking door fixed!
Mike Lowrey.
No, easy.
Mike Lowrey.
[KNOCKING]
Shit!
Who's there?
Mike Lowrey.
How do I know
it's Mike Lowrey?
Because, I'm Mike Lowrey!
Okay, now we ain't
got much time.
Hold your badge up
to the peephole.
I'm not letting you in
until you do.
[DOG BARKS]
No way!
What the fuck was that for?
You're not Mike Lowrey!
What you mean I ain't
Mike Lowrey? You've
never even met him... Me!
Max described you differently!
I'm undercover!
Prove it!
Okay.
I know Max from way back.
I helped her
brother get out of jail.
Yeah, so?
I mean, you know,
I was cool like that,
little bump and grind...
Wrong!
Give me the bat!
You wanna go at this? Fine!
You don't want to believe me?
You go at this shit alone!
Oh, I forgot.
The bad guys probably
know where you live,
which means they're coming
for your ass. Good luck!
I saw the whole thing.
I watched them shoot her
like she was nothing.
Please, shut the door.
Look, lady.
You ain't got
no more bats, golf clubs,
or anything like that you
can swing at me, do you?
I knew Max, okay?
I cared about Max also.
I'm just here to help you.
You're not what I expected.
Yeah, well,
I ain't expect to walk
into Yankee Stadium either.
[BAT CLATTERS]
Okay, now, we got to get out
of here, okay? Let's go.
I've got to get my dogs.
Come here, Dukie!
Lukie, Dukie, whatever!
Look, you got
a back door?
Where we going?
Duke, come here.
Protective custody.
Well, fuck that!
I'm only dealing with you.
That was a cop
back at the Biltmore.
Former cop, okay?
We got rid of him
a long time ago.
Luke, come on, Luke!
Listen, lady, if you want
to live, you ain't got no
choice, you got to trust me.
[SCREAMS]
[BOTH YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
MARCUS: Run! Run! Move!
JULIE: Get my dog! Get my dog!
Here, doggie! Come on, doggie!
Jesus Christ!
Who the hell was that?
There is too much
killing going on!
Go after them!
Go! Go!
I'll go around front!
MARCUS: Come on. Come on,
move your ass! Let's go!
Fuck!
Get in the car!
Damn it!
JULIE: Go, goddamn it!
Fucking door!
Go, goddamn it, go!
[COUGHING]
How did you miss them?
Huh? You fat fuck!
Watch your fucking
mouth, will you!
Lose some weight and
you would have caught them.
I'd like to come over and
squeeze your little fucking
head, you bastard.
You're in trouble.
Now you're in fucking trouble!
You get the license plate?
Yeah, I got
the fucking plates.
You cockeyed fuck!
This is your
goddamn getaway car?
What is this? A goddamn
family station wagon?
Oh, my God, you got...
You got a baby
seat in the back.
It's an undercover car, okay?
Undercover.
Shit. I know they got a look
at my license plate. Were
those the guys who shot Max?
What guys?
All I saw were bullets.
You tell me what
they looked like.
I don't know. I was too
busy trying to keep a
bullet out of your ass.
Look, Julie.
I'm gonna need you
to look through some mug shots
until you can identify
Max's shooter.
Where are we gonna do that?
Protective custody.
No way! I told you, I am not
going into protective custody!
Look, lady, I'm not playing.
Okay, you really
pissing me off.
Now, I'll book
your narrow ass!
Oh, yeah?
And I'll develop amnesia.
I feel a little case
of it coming on right now.
Fine, lady, where
would you feel safe?
You want to do
protective custody?
All right.
We'll do in-home protective
custody at your place.
All right? I can handle
going to your place.
Yeah, my place.
My place is...
No way.
Right.
My place... Yeah.
No, my place...
Yeah, my place is the shit.
Mike Lowrey's place.
You right.
That's the best idea
you came up with tonight.
Yeah, my place.
Wait here.
Detective Burnett!
How are you?
Long time no see.
Mr. Lowrey, he's not here.
He's out.
I know. He said I could
use his place tonight.
Oh, really?
He didn't mention it to me.
Who's the chick?
How's your wife?
[CHUCKLES]
Fine, she's fine.
And your kids, they're
good? Because family's
the most important thing.
Is it?
Yeah.
Mr. Lowrey told me that
you got a real baby factory
going on over
there at your house.
That true?
Here you go.
Aah.
If that ain't enough,
I'm gonna run you
in for extortion.
You know,
I'm so stupid sometimes.
Are you?
Mr. Lowrey did mention
something about you
coming by tonight.
What did he say?
Did he say he had a key?
Hang out.
Here you go.
Is this it?
Yeah. You're hurting me.
Thank you.
Good to see you.
Have fun.
It's not like that.
Sure, sure.
It's not like that.
[DOOR OPENS]
MARCUS: Yeah, come on.
Watch your step
up through here.
Damn, I must've left
some incense burning.
Welcome to
Casa de Lowrey.
This is kind of...
I'm always moving
my switches.
See, I'm always decorating,
so sometimes I just
don't know where shit is.
Damn!
Shit!
Why am I tripping on shit
I know is there?
See, you found a light switch.
I should have known it was
there since I decorated
the place.
[PHONE RINGS AND
MACHINE ANSWERS]
WOMAN [ON MACHINE]:
Mike, this is Yvette.
I'm horny...
Ignore this.
It's one of my freaks.
MARCUS: She's always calling,
got to have it.
Don't call here no more now,
freak! Just one of my freaks.
JULIE: All of this
on a cop's salary?
YVETTE:
...right now, on the table.
MARCUS: Uh, well,
it's honest money.
I'm a second-generation
rich kid.
So if you're not in it for
the pay check, what are you,
some kind of action junkie?
If that's what you
want to call it.
I don't mind bats swung
at my head, bullets damn
near grazing my ass.
Gives me a rush.
Look, let me give you a
broad stroke of the place.
I got some T-bones in the
fridge for Lukie and Dukie...
Sorry, your fridge
is this way. I confuse
my own shit.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
You're gonna leave
me here alone?
Yeah, I gotta get
back to the P.D.
These are Miami's
peak crime hours,
you know.
Apparently.
You know, they said that
this deal was going down
in four days, and I'm...
You know, obviously seem
to be kind of a major glitch
in their...
Hey.
You ain't with the bad guys
now. You're with the cops.
With Mike Lowrey.
You with the cops. Okay?
Everything's gonna be
all right. Trust me.
[IMITATING SCHWARZENEGGER]
I'll be back.
I know that it's no time
to joke, but remember
in the movie when...
All right, all right.
Thanks for everything, Mike.
I'm gonna go.
Chet.
CHET: That was quick.
You're one of those guys.
In and out.
It's not like that,
Chet, okay?
The girl,
she's a witness.
Right.
I need you to keep
an eye out.
No problem.
All right, now listen
to me. Hear me.
Me? Okay.
That's right.
All right, the moment
Lowrey gets in, you
have him call me at home.
Call you at home.
At my home.
Use this phone.
Don't let him go upstairs.
Don't let him upstairs?
But he lives here. I can't
argue with Mr. Lowrey.
I could lose my job.
Chet, trust me on this, okay?
Okay. Call you from here.
Don't let him up.
From here.
Important witness.
No problem. Okay.
Thank you.
I got a better idea. I'm
getting off in two hours.
If you want, I could go
upstairs and watch the door.
You know, like cops do in
the movies. Sit on the stool.
I got a magazine
and everything.
And I don't let
anybody in or out.
Seriously. All kidding
aside, I want to help.
You're helping.
Do that from here.
Can you do it from here?
Yeah, I can do it from here.
Fine. That helps.
From here, okay?
Okay. All right.
It's funny that you ask me,
I was going to be a cop.
I took the test
and everything.
You know,
just didn't work out.
Politics.
Yeah. I know.
You're my deputy.
I'm your deputy.
From here.
Watch out for everything.
You got it.
Take care, chief.
I'm a deputy.
Don't "honey-baby" me,
you smell like perfume.
[STAMMERS]
And you don't even have
your wedding ring on!
Damn!
I went undercover,
and so it required taking
off the ring for a second.
I got the ring. Look, I just
put my hand in my pocket
because that's where it was,
and it's right back on, baby.
Damn!
Can I get a pillow?
Well, if it isn't
the guy who doesn't
return phone calls.
You mind telling me
where the hell you been
the last 12 hours?
Huh? I been
paging you all night!
We got a situation here
that I think you need
to know about.
Look, Marcus,
I got a dead madam,
I got a concussion and
I got a real bad headache.
You got a headache.
Well, let me tell you
what I did last night.
I had to sleep on my couch.
I wake up this morning and
I got a Power Ranger
stuck up my ass.
And while we're discussing
my ass, I damn near got
it blown off.
Guess what the good
news is. I got a witness.
Marcus. Marcus.
Let me tell you
about this witness.
Shh. You sound like
a nagging wife.
I'm a nagging...
I'm nagging?
You see what happens
when you go off without me?
You get into shit.
Oh, please, like shit don't
happen when you're there.
That ain't the point, okay?
The point is, if your partner
pages you, you might wanna
get back to your partner.
I want to meet the man
who whupped your ass.
I want to meet who
whupped Shaft's ass.
That's what I want.
Look at me, man.
Last night, you don't know
what I've been through.
My wife done kicked me out
the house. Kicked me out
of a happy home.
But, no. You got to
go off by yourself.
"I got this, partner,
I got this." Bullshit.
I am feeling much better
though. Thank you.
And I'm gonna get his ass.
MARCUS: Watch yourself.
What did I say?
Did you hear what I said?
I heard what I said because
I was standing
there when I said it.
I told you. I told you
to secure a witness,
not to shoot up a
neighborhood.
Not to do another dead body.
Just get the dope back,
and do it quietly.
Look, captain. This situation
is getting out of control.
You're goddamn right
it's getting out of control!
Look, man, I damn near
had to pass a pop quiz
before she believed I was him.
HOWARD: Going, it's going...
Shit, little off.
I haven't killed anybody
yet today, captain.
Do you want me to yell at you?
Because I can do that.
Let me tell you something.
This witness, it's the only
good news I got.
The only good news.
You guys are bad news.
So, what does that mean?
That means if you have
to be Mike Lowrey,
Santa Claus,
I don't give a shit,
that's what you're gonna be!
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
What the hell is
going on in here?
I was, like, getting them
all in before you showed up.
Can somebody
talk to me, please?
Can I know what's going on?
Captain, these fools could
have gotten a look at my
license plate last night.
So where's the girl now?
His place.
What?
You left her by herself?
Our only fucking witness?
You left a strange hooker
alone in my apartment?
The girl is not a hooker,
as far as I know.
I had to stash her
somewhere. Her and her
dogs, Luke and Dukie.
You left dogs in my house?
So there's dogs and a
hooker in my house?
How about you just add
some chimps, okay?
We can have a carnival.
Didn't I just say
she wasn't a hooker?
Can you please...
HOWARD: Shut up!
For years, Sinclair has
been up my ass, trying to
pin something on me.
I'm always taking it for you.
Right? Do it for me!
Now, if we get this witness
to ID the shooters, maybe
we catch our bad guys.
But until then,
until then,
you are Mike Lowrey.
You be him,
you're him.
You're him!
I don't want to hear it!
You're him.
And you! You be you.
But not in front of her!
You're him, you're you!
Can we get a time-out here,
cap? What am I, like,
the designated homeless?
Hey. Does it look like I care?
Whatever it takes.
What did she say to you?
The shooters are gonna
make their drop in four days?
So we got four days.
Captain, what kind
of plan is that?
I can't be shacked up
with that woman.
I have a family to look after.
My wife will kill my ass.
You don't like
your job, quit.
Damn!
Look, I'll stay at the house
with Theresa and the kids.
Thank you. But no, thanks,
okay? You won't last
five minutes with my family.
Please, man.
Married life is easy.
You only got one
woman to satisfy.
MARCUS: Yo, man,
we ain't the Cosbys.
Let's go, I got this.
Go.
Everybody wants
to be like Mike.
Yeah, and you're going
to be retired like him too.
I'd have dunked it
on your ass.
Cleveland? I have never...
Hey, look, woman, okay?
Now I done told you, okay?
It's a federal subpoena.
What am I gonna do,
tell them no?
I don't know what you're gonna
tell them, baby.
Why can't he go?
Why can't you go?
Oh, you know, I wanted to,
but Captain Howard said,
you know, I'm irresponsi...
No, he said, "loose cannon."
Because I be shooting
in public.
Just out of nowhere sometimes.
Mike! No, man.
Please.
All right.
Look, babe, okay?
The neighborhood has
had a lot of break-ins.
I can handle it.
I don't need Mike.
MARCUS:
I know you can handle it,
but I'm worrying about me.
Mike's going to stay here.
Take care of y'all.
Just till I come back.
THERESA: Who's gonna pick
the kids up from day care
and all that stuff?
Mike can't do it.
Are you listening to me, baby?
I said, Mi...
Hey, I read a book that
could probably help y'all.
Mike, please, man.
Can you go down and have
a Coke and a smile?
Please.
All right.
Y'all want something?
Bring me a Coke, Mike.
Baby, you want a Coke?
I'm fine, thank you.
Mike.
All right.
So explain it to me, Elliot.
We've got a problem
with our chemistry set?
It's not a chemistry set.
He knows it ain't
a chemistry set,
asshole.
So, what is it?
The cutting agent
is a highly volatile...
substance.
The ether...
I don't care.
I don't care! I don't care!
I'm not a fucking
chemistry teacher, Elliot.
So, what is the problem?
The problem is that there's
too much moisture down here.
Yeah, it's totally fucked.
You shut up!
Okay.
So, what else?
ELLIOT: It's taking longer
to cook than
we originally planned.
And if we rush it,
we're gonna have a lot
of drugs that we can't sell.
You're fucking with my
timetable here. I gave you
a deadline. You understand?
Do you understand?
I understand.
MARCUS: Julie!
JULIE: Yeah.
Oh.
Oh, um...
Hi.
You dressed?
Yeah, I am.
Look, we gotta go through
some mug shots. So I'm gonna
hook into the computer,
and we can do this.
Hey, Mike,
who's the guy in all
the photographs?
Sometimes I don't even
look at my shelf and I forgot
all the pictures was here.
That's my partner.
Yeah, that's my partner,
Marcus Burnett.
I've never seen anything
like this before.
Well, I can see how it
may throw you a little bit.
You know what?
It's a cop thing.
Yeah, these pictures
are up here
for every time
he saved my life.
It's the same thing with him.
You go to his place, ain't
nothing but pictures of me.
Because it's like a
shrine. Just a reminder.
Oh.
Because, I mean, when
I saw it, the whole wall,
I thought maybe they were,
you know,
pictures of your lover.
Of who?
I thought that... You know,
I thought maybe you were gay.
I was gay?
Nah, nah, nah, baby.
I mean, I didn't mean to
offend you. You know, it's
okay to be a homosexual, Mike.
No, you're not listening.
It's not registering, okay?
Believe me. Did you
sleep in the bed? You
didn't feel the dents?
Yeah, the dents
come from all that.
That's how I gets down.
Oh, that's...
sweet.
Gay. Psh. If I was,
I'd change the drapes
in this motherfucker.
JULIE: No.
You want some?
No, thanks.
I don't eat flesh.
What?
That's flesh that you're
shoveling into your mouth.
You know, that was a living,
breathing creature, you know.
It probably had a name.
It's just bologna.
My bologna has a first name.
Well, actually, your bologna
has about 30 names,
you know, because they
take, like, odd parts from
all different ones.
You know, like, the leftovers,
like the hooves,
stomach lining, ears,
stuff like that. You know.
They put it into this machine
and, like, grind it all up.
And then out comes, like,
this sheet. That's what
you're eating now.
Okay.
You know what?
I don't eat bologna no more.
How about a pickle?
Can I eat the pickle?
Well, there's a lot of salt
in it, but, yeah, it's fine.
It is a vegetable.
Lot of salt in the pickle?
Okay, let me rinse...
Let me rinse it off.
There we go. There we go.
Hm? How's that?
Just... Let's keep going.
I don't even taste
the salt now.
Go back. Go back.
That's the guy.
He was there, in the room.
We got a tip they was running
some major druggage in there,
something like 50 keys.
So we steps to the door. Boom!
"Freeze! Miami P.D.!
Get down, get down, get down!"
Out of nowhere,
this little crazy pimp
named Chino punched me
in the head with
some brass knuckles.
So I'm like, "Ah."
Chino's been running
ho's up in there,
but your dad will
explain that to you.
Look at it. Your dogs,
they shitting all over
my place. Liquid shit.
It doesn't help, you going
around shellacking it in
with furniture polish.
There's a piece right
there. Please, get that.
Fine. I got it.
Look like a chip of shit.
Francine, can I please
have the parole jacket
on Noah Trafficante?
Thank you.
MARCUS: You know what, man?
I'm getting tired
of this witness, man.
I wanna get back to my life
the way it was.
I'm tired. Okay, I got married
so I could stop lying.
You know what? I cannot
believe you're complaining.
You got it easy
compared to me,
living in that
zoo you call home.
Why you got to call
my place a zoo?
I'm tired of you
talking that stuff.
Now you want to fight me.
Don't call my
place no zoo, man.
Listen, Francine, please...
Yo, that's my
silk shirt, man!
Yeah. It's kind of nice.
I figure since I'm gonna
be like Mike, I might as well
dress like Mike. You know.
I wanna be,
I wanna be like Mike.
Pow! Huh?
You're sick.
Something's wrong with you.
You have a problem and you
should have yourself checked.
Probably.
Here's the file.
He worked at Club Hell.
Thank you. Thank you.
[PAGER BEEPING]
Can you take care of this,
please? I gotta call the wife.
Whose wife?
Can you please do some work?
One time today,
just do something!
I'm gonna tell you...
Do something that
helps this case.
Boy.
You look real
handsome today,
Marcus.
No, see, it's not
that kind of day. Okay?
Leave me the fuck alone.
Seriously.
All right?
What's up,
babe, PMS?
No, damn the jokes.
Damn them.
Ring it. Ain't in the mood.
Yeah, that's cool. Hold on.
Okay. Go ahead.
Mm-hm. All right.
How are things
going with the kids?
THERESA: They're fine.
You okay?
How's that
potty-training thing going?
THERESA: Slowly, but surely.
You're so silly.
You gonna be late tonight?
It'll be 10:30,
11:00 before I get in.
No, don't wait up.
I'll be there.
[PHONE HANGS UP]
So yeah, why don't you
rent a movie or something?
You know. Something
we can kick back to.
So, what you wearing?
Give me the phone!
Give it! Baby!
She hung up a long time ago.
I was playing. I was playing.
Hello?
I was playing.
Hey, man. Don't play that.
That's my family. Don't break
up a happy home.
Stop wearing my clothes then.
Everybody about the
motherfucking jokes
today, ain't they? Hello.
MIKE: I can't believe this.
Come on, Francine, this
Eddie Dominguez file can't
be that hard to get into.
I tried three times,
I just can't get in.
Besides, you know,
this is illegal.
Well, yeah, that never
stopped you before. Just let
me know if you get anything.
Anything for you.
But I can't get in. I tried.
What's up, Chet?
Hey, Mr. Lowrey.
Chet.
Hey, Mr. Lowrey.
Okay. The Lowrey Brothers.
MIKE: Let's just get down to
Club Hell and pick up Noah.
Julie, it's me!
What's up? You're supposed
to be getting us into this
Eddie Dominguez file.
It's gonna be a day or two.
We don't have
no day or two.
I'm not the computer whiz.
It's gonna take a while before
we can hack the computer.
You not taking care of shit.
JULIE: Mike, listen,
I was thinking...
Hi.
You must be Marcus.
Marcus. I'd be Marcus.
That's right.
JULIE: Marcus, right?
I'm Julie.
Julie. All right.
Nice to meet you.
You too.
I recognized you from
every one of the photographs.
Oh. Well, it's my man,
you know.
The wall. Yeah,
those on the wall.
You must be very good.
I'm sorry?
As a partner.
Given your job, what you do.
What time are we
doing this thing tonight?
Excuse me?
Mike said that
we're going to a club.
Yeah, well, "we,"
as in me and my partner.
You wanted home protective
custody. You at my house.
Oh, that's just great.
So I'll just stay here again
with Chet the mini-moron
doorman to protect me?
Chet is very good.
Oh, I'm so...
That looks like a stain
on your rug. Damn.
That was my baby, Luke.
He gets kind of nervous
in new surroundings...
And he just shits, huh?
Well, it's sort of... It's
like marking his territory
It's sort of a male thing.
I offered to pay Mike
for the cleaning and
he wouldn't hear of it.
I'm gonna get rid of it.
Yeah, you don't need that.
Yeah, I was going to throw
that out anyway, you know
I just want a new look.
Mike, he's a special guy.
That Mike is special.
That's what I call him,
Special Mike.
It's funny...
I like how you can
just laugh at that.
That's why...
I love him. Now, me,
whoo! I'd be pissed.
Oh, and look at this cute
little dog on the couch.
That's Luke.
Look how he just crawls
around on the leather.
You want to meet Duke?
He's in the bed. He's been
feeling sort of upset
and having diarrhea
and throwing up all morning.
Oh, baby.
Let's go see if little Duke is
going to be okay, shall we?
[LUKE GROWLS]
Me and you. Me and you.
Oh, Mike.
MARCUS: Hey, lady,
who are you?
YVETTE: Who the hell are you?
MARCUS: Look,
you gotta get out.
Get your hands off me!
Lady, don't push me!
YVETTE: I'm Yvette.
Well, you not the Yvette
I know.
YVETTE: Get your hands off me!
Hey, what are you doing?
Get out of here, all right?
If you don't stop stalking me,
I'm gonna arrest your ass.
You old psycho!
YVETTE: You asshole!
Woman's into some weird shit.
What's going on out here?
MARCUS: That was crazy Yvette.
Stalking me. Ha.
Yvette?
You threw Yvette out?
Yvette is a masseuse.
Mm-hm.
She massages shit.
She told me.
Hey, listen, are there any
other totally hysterical,
half-naked women
popping by tonight that
I should know about?
She was naked?
Titties were out
a little bit.
You threw Yvette out naked?
[STAMMERS]
My wife would hate...
She hates womanizers.
I don't believe... You see...
Something wrong with you.
You don't respect
other people's shit,
that's your problem.
I've been
telling you for years.
Ever since we started,
your trash is all over.
Enough! Please!
Me and my partner,
we're going to
Club Hell so we can
bust this fool Noah.
Does anybody have
a problem with that?
Fine.
Don't blow the case.
Okay, Frank,
here's the deal, okay.
You stay put.
Anybody tells
you to move, don't.
I don't care what they say.
Tell them you're making
a delivery for Fouchet.
You got it? You got it? Frank?
It's ether!
It'll explode, you dope!
Don't even breathe,
you knucklehead!
Noah.
I remember you.
Check it, Lowrey...
We got two days left.
Let's try to do this right.
No gunshots,
no dead bodies.
I'm not trying to lose
my job on this one.
Well, you know, if I recall,
the last couple dead bad guys
belonged to you.
And next time you
have to kill them,
why don't you do it after you
get the information that
we need.
Just a suggestion.
Please. You ain't even trying
to compare body counts.
Should I keep going
all day? I'm out.
I'm out.
This guy Noah's parole jacket
says he works in there.
We're standing out
front arguing like a
couple of schoolgirls.
What do you say we put an
end to all this bickering?
Because you starting to
get on my goddamn nerves.
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]
He got no package.
Look at you! Look at you!
Can you stay focused?
What you talking about?
I'm focused.
Yeah. Focused on
all this scattered
ass around here.
Let's do what we came
to do and get the fuck
out of here.
Simple.
Fine.
Let's just split up,
check around.
Meet you at
the bar in 10 minutes.
Fine.
CASPER: Holy shit,
what the hell is he doing?
Oh, man! That's the cop!
There he is! See him?
NOAH: That's him! I'm going.
[HUMS]
What's up?
MARCUS: Whoo...
Budweiser. Feel like I had
a million of them.
What's up, motherfucker?
Tell me where the
girl is, jack-off!
Oh, fuck!
Next time, learn how to work
the safety with your punk-ass.
I'll be back.
Who done tore off and
whupped your ass now?
This ain't the time.
This really ain't
the fucking time.
Look. They know. Let's get
Noah and get out of here.
Hey, it's the chick.
Look, the chick!
The girl.
The bitch from the rooftop!
Julie!
[GUNSHOT]
MARCUS: Let's go!
That was the guy
who shot Maxie!
MIKE: The truck! Come on,
let's take the truck!
There! Right there! Go!
MIKE: Move it! Move it!
We're really in a hurry.
Let's go!
JULIE: You're cops! Why are we
running away? He's in there!
Here! Go!
This is good.
Noah's chasing us!
What was that?
What the...
What was that?
That was...
I don't know.
But I had a perfectly good
shot at him if your friend
Action Jackson over here...
No! No! This is official
police business!
You had no business in there!
And can you please
drive this thing?
Please drive!
Don't bring it here,
all right?
You're the one who picked a
slow-ass ice-cream truck!
What am I smelling?
Just drive!
What am I smelling?
JULIE: Ether.
Extremely flammable ether.
Oh, shit.
Goddamn.
You the man!
You the fucking man tonight!
How you gonna pick an
ice-cream truck that's
a damn bomb?
Shit!
This is protective custody?
Yes!
[TRUCK HORN HONKS]
Oh, shit!
You better do something, boy!
Because we're
running out of road!
Who picked this dumb-ass road?
All the goddamn road in Miami
and you run out of it!
You gotta come up
with an idea, fast!
Why I gotta come up
with all the ideas?
Take this shit!
We're coming to a dead end!
There's no more road!
We out of fucking road!
Motherfucker's going to blow!
Get the fuck out!
Well...
Should I add this
to your body count?
There goes our
only lead to the dope.
Ain't this a bitch.
The dope? The do...
What are you talking about?
How about, "There goes
our only lead to Max's
killer"? He's still out there.
Oh, but, I mean, that's not
really important 'cause
it's not like
it's your job to protect
people. Holy shit.
See what I'm saying?
She's crazy!
I'm crazy?
You're gone!
What's wrong with you?
Stop it! Marcus!
This is the witness!
She done zoomed.
That's it, you deal with her.
No way.
Julie.
Listen, yes, okay,
you're right.
This whole thing started
because of missing drugs.
But let me tell you something,
there's nothing,
absolutely nothing,
more important to Mike
than doing this guy
that killed Max.
I know, sometimes
he has a hard time
expressing his real feelings.
Come on. It's gonna
be all right, okay?
We need you.
Part of the team.
JULIE: I thought he was
supposed to be the smooth one.
MIKE: This has not
been a good day.
Damn right. This is
bullshit. We got two
days to find these fools,
and we got no leads
because you cooked Noah's
ass back on the freeway.
[HUMS]
Shampoo?
Hello.
MARCUS: Well, let's just
do that.
MIKE: What's up?
Hey.
MARCUS:
Julie, it don't take that
long to get shampoo.
Come on, please, let's go.
JULIE: Look at this.
"Animal tested.
Animal tested."
Do you know how many
chemicals are in this stuff?
I don't care if you go bald.
Just get it and let's go.
Jojo.
He is a chemist.
It's entirely too much
heroin and too much ether
for nobody to know nothing.
What's he talking about?
Well, you know the barrels
of ether that blew up
on the ice-cream truck?
They were gonna use
that to process the heroin.
Yeah, they do that to cut it.
It, like, quadruples
the value.
MARCUS: Yeah, you can't
just nuke it.
Let's just pay for this,
all right?
MIKE: Hey, how much is that?
$14.25.
Damn, you know what?
I must've left
my wallet somewhere.
Freeze, motherbitches!
Don't you move.
MARCUS: Wait...
I'm not understanding.
I really don't.
Shut up!
Do you just
attract violent people?
Shut the fuck up!
Take it easy, all right?
We're police officers.
You're not police officers.
I'm not stupid. I know.
MARCUS: Wait.
I know. I've seen police.
I'm gonna reach
for my badge, okay?
You want badges, motherbitch?
I give you badges!
Here! 99 cents each.
I sell you some.
He got eight fucking
badges. I told you this
cop thing don't work.
I blow you! Then I blow you!
Blow me? What the fuck?
No, hump me, that's all right.
I kill before. I kill again.
Please! Hold on!
I'm gonna blow you!
No, you hold on!
Do you see the fucking emotion
I'm going through right now?
That means this is serious.
That means me and this
motherfucker is not vibing
now. That's what that means.
You got
something on your chest?
I got something!
Hello! The guy's got a cannon.
What do you want?
You want some?
Then come get it.
I want some.
I'm gone!
Hey, freeze, bitch!
You freeze, bitch!
Oh, shit. I'm fucked.
Now back up.
Put the gun down. And
get me a pack of tropical
fruit Bubblicious.
And some Skittles.
MARCUS: Hell of a night.
I'm going to bed.
So make yourself at home.
It's your bed.
I'll sit down,
you know, for...
For a minute.
You know, because...
I'm guarding shit,
you know. I'm watching
out for the bad boys.
I can see things
real well, you know,
from my peripherals.
You know, for such
a stud, Mike Lowrey,
you sure seem a little rigid
about having a girl
in your bed.
Who?
Me? Mike Lowrey?
I'm not rigid.
I'm comfortable.
It's my bed. Why would
I be uncomfortable?
I don't know. You know,
I think it's more than
just wired.
I mean, maybe it was
guns and stuff.
I mean, I've never really
shot a gun before.
All that,
I don't know, steel...
I'm feeling... Don't you
feel a little funny?
I'm not a comedian, but...
I don't mean
that kind of funny,
I mean, like...
funny.
You don't want that.
You don't want that,
because when I come,
I come with the thunder.
And that's...
Mike.
You sound like you're
saving yourself for marriage.
No, that ain't me there.
That's Marcus.
You know what I'm saying?
He's the married one.
I got some other...
Oh, no.
I done seen it now.
Turn the page.
No.
Turn the page, girl.
I done already seen it.
Don't laugh.
MIKE: No. I cannot believe
he wore his Afro that big.
I forgot all about that.
He looked cute
like that, I think.
What's Marcus'
wife like?
She's like a wife.
Well, I mean,
she must be pretty
amazing to keep
a guy like Marcus.
Keep a guy like what?
Well, you know, watching
him tonight, he's very...
sort of take charge.
The way he was throwing
guys this way and that.
You know, there's something
about him. I don't know
what it is. He's so smooth.
Boy...
I bet...
his wife's enjoying the
smoothness right this minute.
He got a quality
women respond to.
Sure.
I can't imagine
the kind of woman
that wouldn't find Marcus...
attractive.
Probably couldn't
be around him and...
just, you know,
like our situation.
If two people were alone...
No, not with a guy like that.
Excuse me.
What is wrong with him?
This one goes on the
bulletin board at work.
[PHONE RINGS]
Don't do that. No, come on.
[OVER PHONE]
Mike, put it back in, I can't
believe you took it out.
Come on. Marcus will kill us
if he finds out.
Give it to me.
I can't believe
I let you see it.
Motherfucker!
Goddamn it.
Got some jewelery for you.
I'm sorry, but damn that.
Whoa. I think we need to
address this serious lack
of trust in this relationship.
Please.
Is this legal?
I don't think it's legal.
I won't be long.
Oh, it's legal.
Out of sight.
Yeah, Sanchez, Lowrey.
Yeah, your mother. Listen.
I think these guys
are about to make a move.
Blue convertible.
Two visible occupants.
Check it out, all right?
Hey, hey, hey. Here we go.
Is that our guy?
Where's the girl?
I don't see any girl.
[DOG BARKING]
Fuck off,
barking-ass dog.
Shut up!
Sneak up on my own
motherfucking house.
MAN 1: What in the world?
Very strange.
His ass is upstairs.
Supposed to be my boy!
You motherfucker!
Like ducking and weaving,
up and down.
MARCUS: Look at this shit.
This is what you want?
Got me climbing like
a fucking chimp.
No, I ain't going
out like that.
Don't take nobody that
goddamn long to get in bed.
Got my babies in the house.
The man can't get
no quality time,
but, oh, yeah, my partner
can get some quality time.
I don't play that shit.
Oh, my God.
Somebody's out there!
MIKE: Get the kids.
Get the kids!
MARCUS: I knew it! I didn't
even have to call
a fucking psychic line.
MIKE: Freeze!
Move, and you're dead.
MAN 1: Gun right up
to his head. Gonna shoot each
other. This is unbelievable.
Miami Police! Freeze!
I am the police!
Marcus, what are you doing?
You're doing Theresa!
No, I'm not!
You're doing my baby!
Marcus, shut up!
MAN 2:
We could sneak up and
snuff them both right now.
MAN 1: Yeah, but we're
supposed to get the girl.
Never fuck with
a cop's family, asshole.
Doesn't that piss you off?
RUIZ: That pisses
the fuck out of me.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't get me started.
Get out of the car.
Motherfucker!
This whole shit is
making you crazy, man!
You know damn well ain't
nothing going on between
me and Theresa!
Man, I've been your
partner for six years
and I've been
your boy all my life.
For you to even think...
To even let some
dumb shit like that creep up
in your mind!
This is me, man!
What's wrong with you?
Man, fucking...
THERESA: Mike!
I'm just...
I'm fine!
Get the fuck out of here,
man! Where's Julie?
She's in the car, handcuffed
to the steering wheel.
Are you trying to
blow this whole case?
My bad. I ain't
had no quality time.
You know how that shit is.
Sometimes you do dumb shit.
My bad, all right?
It's cool, man.
Go, go. All right.
These phone calls
were made to Club Hell
from this precinct.
Explain.
I'm gonna ask you one more
time. Give me a name.
Give me a goddamn name!
Okay. Okay.
All I know is his name.
Give me his name.
RUIZ: You're looking at a lot
of time, you know that?
Fouchet.
Fouchet, I think.
That's his whole name,
"Fouchet"?
Fouchet.
I'm just an errand boy.
Stop it, please.
You're gonna make me cry.
I swear. Watching the house
was my first gig.
SANCHEZ: How sweet.
Does that make you union?
You know something?
If you were a real cop,
in the field,
working every day,
you'd realize
that shit happens.
Don't give me that crap.
You know, you're on your
way to being reassigned.
Shut down.
Who's gonna reassign me? You?
You don't have the
authority to reassign me.
So until you do,
stay the hell out of here!
They should just bone
and get that shit over with.
I'm getting
really tired of this.
You're tired?
They're overfed, they're lazy.
We need video surveillance.
These guard dogs
are nothing.
Jojo!
Don't make this hard!
Nice running into you, Jojo.
Always making it
hard on yourself, Jojo.
Gee, Julie, what have you been
up to the last couple of days?
Oh, nothing. Just hanging out,
handcuffed to steering wheels.
MARCUS: Now we're looking for
someone who could step
on a shit-load of heroin.
Do it real fast, real well.
We're looking for
a real pro, Jojo.
Well, I told you already, I'm
in the rubber business now.
Jojo, we're not playing, man.
Huh?
I'm telling you,
man, I'm straight.
I'm straight like a board,
like an arrow. I'm so
straight, it's sick.
Jojo. It's a lot of dope, man.
Who could cut it real quick?
Cut it?
Cut it up?
I'm sick of this bullshit.
Bullshit!
What's up, yo?
You're pulling a gun on me?
You guys are cops!
I can't believe this. I should
turn you in to Hard Copy.
Put your ass on TV.
What you doing?
I got this. Jojo...
I got 15 bullets in this gun.
Mike!
I swear, if you don't start
talking to me, I'm gonna fill
your lying ass
full of some hot shit.
What's up?
He's a former ganja-smoking
motherfucker.
He ain't worth it.
Do you want some?
I'll bust your ass too!
So sad.
You're on your own, Jojo.
What's up, Jo?
But I'm gonna
tell you like this,
you splatter his ass,
he's no good to us.
Fuck that.
Fuck that. I'm not going
down over this shit.
I'm not going down for you
killing Jojo the tire man!
Okay, okay.
Fuck that! I don't want
no brain on me.
Shit gets in your clothes
and it stinks.
Okay.
MARCUS: Fuck that, Jojo!
I'll tell you what I know.
I don't know everything.
I know a little bit
about a little bit.
Tell him something, Jo.
There's three guys.
They got a laboratory...
No, no.
[GUN COCKS]
It's two guys. One guy died in
a plane crash last year.
There needs to be more!
No, it's one guy, really.
It's only one guy.
Don't fuck with me, Jojo.
This guy's an Einstein,
motherfucking
genius college boy,
fucking egghead motherfucker.
He got four eyes and glasses.
He got a rich mom and daddy
who live in Coconut Grove.
Where?
Tell him again, Jojo!
I'll tell you where it's at.
MIKE: You'd do that
for us, Jojo?
Yeah. I want to help.
Stick that gun down.
I got the address...
in the...
office.
Thanks. Why don't
you go grab that.
Cool.
You can go ahead.
Now?
Yeah, now's good.
Now is real good.
This is on me.
Why don't you pick out some
whitewalls for yourselves.
A little gift from me to you.
You made me think
you were going to
shoot me for a minute.
I was.
MARCUS: Man, when's
this punk-ass chemist
coming home?
JULIE: So...
this is a stakeout.
Not what I imagined.
Thought there'd be
more conversation.
Sorry, it's not up to your
usual high standards.
Is he always like
this on a stakeout?
What is it?
Too much caffeine?
Not enough sex?
MIKE: Ooh, I can't believe
she went there on you.
You don't know who
you talking to?
That's Mike Lowrey
over there.
King Ding-a-ling.
Go ahead, why don't you whip
it out for her, big boy?
Uh-huh,
right on your forehead.
Yeah.
Shut up.
There he is!
Let's go!
Let's go! Move!
I'm on him!
MARCUS:
What are our chances?
Well, remember Club Hell?
Worse.
That's it.
Call major backup.
I want motherfucking
swimming ducks in here.
Whoa, hold it.
Come on, man.
You know Sinclair got every
phone in the station tapped.
We gotta do that in person.
MARCUS: Shit. By the time
we deal with her bullshit,
every junkie in America
will be high off our bust.
Can we help you?
Hey, I staked out all night
in the back of that jalopy
too.
I think I earned a peek.
Hey, this is real cop stuff,
okay? This is not
Charlie's Angels.
All right, all right.
Can't hurt for
her to take a peek.
It can't hurt to look?
If they fire a goddamn
bullet over here, it'll hurt!
We have guests.
Have them followed.
Don't do anything, just
call me with their location.
This high-speed chase, ending
on a trestle near the River
Drive and 34th Street,
was captured two nights ago
by our news team.
Mom!
I thought you said
Daddy was in Cleveland.
Can't be in Cleveland.
MAN [ON TV]:
The officers
didn't like our cameras.
No, baby. Your daddy just
wishes he was in Cleveland.
MARCUS: I'm telling you,
this Fouchet, he's slick.
FBI, DEA, they got
nothing on him.
But he got to
deal with us today.
What's that?
That's the last time
they ever handcuff me.
That's what that is.
Good boy.
Excuse me, ma'am. Ma'am!
All visitors
must be announced!
Pisses me off!
Lady! Lady!
I guess when you guys
get back,
this'll all be over, right?
MARCUS:
You got that right.
Now don't worry, though.
You'll be set free.
Cut loose.
You'll be back
to your own life.
No more handcuffs.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
I'm out of here.
That's Chet with
my veggie burger.
Move your ass.
You got it.
Hi, can I help you?
Yes, I'm here to kill
my husband, Marcus Burnett.
And that'd be the tall one
or the short one?
The short one.
Thought so.
MARCUS: Is Chet
ringing the...
Oh, babe!
Um, Theresa. Uh...
Let me get your husband.
Marcus, get over here.
Okay. I know what
it looks like. Did you get
my message?
Huh?
Um...
Can you...
leave me and
Mrs. Burnett alone?
JULIE: Right.
Y'all met?
Baby...
I know... So let me...
As far as I'm concerned,
you can keep the wedding
ring in your pocket,
because you and
your little girlfriend...
Oh, shit.
...and Mike will all be
very happy living here.
Sweetie! Sweetie, honey!
[DOGS BARKING]
It's not even...
Uh-uh.
No, no, I saw it on the news.
That shit be
having a slant.
No, you're no longer
welcome to my house.
He didn't tell you I was
coming in the airport early?
Remember, I said call her,
that you was gonna bring me
to your place? Hold on.
Tell her about
what I told you, man.
You were gonna
bring me here...
Julie!
All right.
Ain't even going to...
You know, no.
We're not arguing about this.
Okay. I'm raising my...
All right... Baby!
Believe me,
we wanted to tell you.
You know what?
It really doesn't
matter anymore,
Marcus... Mike, Kojak,
whatever your name is, okay?
Aside from the fact,
I'll tell you something else,
if his wife can find us,
I'm a lot better off
on my own.
This...
I can see how it
would look a trip.
Uh-huh.
You see me, I run out,
I got a shirt open.
You see Mike,
he half-butt-naked.
Then you see the white girl.
So the shit looks like
we having one big
motherfucking orgy,
and ain't nobody humped.
I'm telling you.
Ain't nobody doing none
of that.
It's not what it
looks like, okay?
Hear what I'm saying.
Baby, she's a
material witness.
That...
That's real!
Baby, Theresa, listen.
It was orders.
Listen, it was orders.
Julie, can I talk to you?
Can you stop so I can
talk to you, please?
Enough with
the smooth shit, Mike.
It's not going
to work anymore.
I don't care what you say!
Duck!
Julie, get down!
Get down!
[SCREAMS]
Get out!
JULIE: Mike!
911!
Yeah. 911? Yeah. Chet here.
Go upstairs and take
this! Take it!
Don't worry.
I'll keep everybody
calm until my backup arrive.
I love you, Marcus.
Shit, I forgot to give
them the address!
CASPER:
Go, go, go!
Watch it! Watch it!
Keep going!
Get her in!
[JULIE SCREAMING]
Move!
It's okay.
I'm with the police.
It's cool.
You look great.
Drive!
Don't ever say
I wasn't there for you.
HOWARD: What is it
with you guys?
How come it always has to be
good news/bad news?
[PHONE RINGING]
You know exactly
where the dope is,
but you lose
our only witness.
I just don't get it!
RUIZ: Lowrey, pick up
your phone!
Lowrey.
FOUCHET: Hi, Mr. Lowrey.
I'm keeping your
sweet little friend
for four hours,
until I make my deal.
And I will make my deal.
I just put
a bullet in the chemist
who fucked with my timetable.
The other one is for the girl.
Okay?
Son of a bitch!
That twisted motherfucker
just shot one
of his employees.
Says if we don't back up,
he's gonna kill Julie.
HOWARD: Not now.
I told you to
play by the rules.
Don't do this
to me now.
I'm on the verge
of solving this case!
You turned South Beach
into a war zone.
I've finally got the
authority to shut you down.
As of today, you're
all reassigned.
All right, this guy is
painting me into a corner.
Look. He's gonna
kill the girl anyway.
We won't let her die.
And we're not walking away
from this bust, I don't give
a shit what she says.
So the deal goes
down in four hours.
That means you guys
got two hours to find them.
It's time to get lucky.
Go do what you got to do.
MIKE: Look, Fletcher, you
kind of told us this thing
would move a little quicker.
Hey, man, it's not that easy,
okay? If it was that easy,
you guys would be doing it.
Hey, man. Work your magic.
You say you're
a computer whiz.
Hey, man.
Back up off me, okay?
I'm doing an illegal favor
for you.
Okay, this is what I got
put in jail for in the first
place. So you back up off me.
Man, you don't sit your lanky
ass down, bottom line,
I will knock you the fuck out!
What the fuck is
wrong with you?
Can you have a seat?
You said you'd
get me out of jail.
And I wasn't lying, Fletcher.
Cops are so dumb.
Look, it's coming up.
Remember, you promised
to get me out.
Eddie Dominguez.
There it is. Voila.
MIKE: Girlfriend?
FRANCINE: I was New Year's Eve
and my ex-boyfriend Eddie,
and this French guy,
they took some really
horrible pictures of me.
And they said
that they'd put them up on the
bulletin board at
my kid's school,
unless I gave them a lot
of narcotics information.
But I never...
I never gave them you
or the girl.
Look, they got the girl.
We need to get them now.
Because if we don't, they're
gonna kill her. How do you
make contact?
I have their
mobile-phone number.
I know, I'm sorry. Listen.
Mike, I'll make it up to you.
I will.
I'll do anything you want.
We don't have a lot
of time. Let's go.
You have such sexy
ears, you know that?
I want to lick them.
[PHONE RINGS]
Yeah.
Can I speak to Romeo?
No, there ain't no Romeo here,
asshole. Who you laughing at?
Now this cell phone will keep
triangulating him, no matter
where he goes.
We'll watch this on this
map until he stops.
MAN [OVER RADIO]:
Sector 2-3-4.
TECHNICIAN:
The signal's still strong.
We still have a lock.
Thank you.
Lucy was the queen, baby.
Think about it.
Lucille Ball was a bimbo.
What are you talking about?
Desi was the whole
brains behind it.
How could you say that?
What do you mean
how can I say that?
Take the bongos away,
he's nothing.
It's conga,
don't be so stupid.
MIKE: Yo, fellas,
what's up?
RUIZ: The fucking
pencil squad.
Hey, what, you get us
assigned to traffic duty?
No, this is real.
We got something for you.
This shit could
get you killed.
Let's go.
MAN: Here we go!
It's Conrad.
I'm calling in a favor.
TECHNICIAN:
Eastbound
towards 135th Street.
Northeast, keep going
northeast.
If I'm wrong about this,
you can fire my ass.
This is what I need,
I need a SWAT team,
helicopters.
We're calling all cars here,
baby. Only I don't know
where we need them.
Very nice car you got there.
Oh, yeah.
That's my toy.
I'm taking it with me
for my collection.
And how about
the wire transfers?
Two wire transfers
to your banks,
totaling 180 million dollars.
And 20 in cash.
CASPER: Damn.
This has been a shitty week.
MAN: Getting full integration
on that signal.
Yeah, we're on
the airfield now.
You know what, I bet it's up
in the old hangar section.
MAN: Let's bring it up!
Pick it up!
Deposit
confirmation requested.
90 million,
Geldersbank of Zurich.
No easy approach.
MARCUS: No time.
Fuck the backup.
We gotta go now.
Not a problem.
What, do you got an itch?
I'd love to scratch it.
Scratch this.
I'll scratch whatever
you want me to,
you blue-eyed bitch.
Thank you.
You guys sure you
want to do this?
Hey, look, let's go!
Tuck in your skirt.
Come on!
My shit always
works sometimes!
This is the best you can
buy. It's been very nice
doing business with you.
Oh, shit.
MAN: Fouchet, it's a setup!
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
If I get killed,
I'm fucking you up!
Goddamn it, go, go, go!
Go, goddamn it!
Okay, okay.
My God!
[YELLING]
Julie!
Oh, motherf...
Get down!
Shit!
You forgot your boarding pass!
[SCREAMING]
HENCHMAN: You motherfuckers!
What's up?
Oh, shit!
[GROANING]
[CAR STARTS]
[GUNSHOT]
Mike, let's go!
Mike, get in the car!
Get in! Come on!
Let's go! Get in!
JULIE: Get in the car,
goddamn it!
Get in!
This shit's going to blow!
JULIE: Get up!
Oh, shit! Please, catch that
motherfucker, he shot me.
He shot you, he shot me!
You all right?
I'm fine. I just had a little
run-in with your friend Jim
Brown over here, but I'm fine.
He steals our shit,
kidnaps Julie,
shoots at my wife.
We beating him down!
Marcus, I just got
one question for you, bro.
How the hell you
gonna leave my ass
at a gunfight to
go get the car?
You have got to shut up
and let him drive, okay?
Seem like that gunshot
wound has improved
your driving skills.
You got the right
to remain silent.
Anything you say
can and will be
used against you
in a court of law.
Yo, man,
what the fuck are you doing?
Getting it out the way.
Just punch it, man!
Punch it! Go!
This car's faster.
This is a faster fucking car!
It's gonna be one or the
other, baby! It's gonna be
him or it's gonna be us!
You better fucking win,
that's all I know!
You better win!
Now that's how you
supposed to drive!
From now on,
that's how you drive!
[GROANING]
Freeze!
He ain't even
worth killing, man.
MIKE: Freeze!
Fouchet. I bet when
your punk-ass woke
up this morning,
you didn't think about
5:00 you'd have a hole
in your leg, did you?
You couldn't kill me,
you chickenshit, could you?
Oh, no. I could.
You're talking like it's over.
I was just pausing.
See, I'm starting to get the
hang of this whole marksman
shit, you know what I mean?
That shooting them from
30 yards while they running
away, no, that's not it.
Here's where it is,
right here.
Point blank,
up close and personal.
Mike.
That's what I'm talking about.
Would you do it?
MARCUS: Mike, step off.
Do it. Do it!
Do it!
It's over.
He's a joke.
He's a motherfucking joke.
MARCUS: I ever tell you
I love you, man?
MIKE: Yeah, you know you
always be getting emotional
after gunfights.
MARCUS: Just because
I'm glad we survived.
Shit.
What you talking about?
I love you too, man.
Don't be looking at me.
I said, yeah, I love you.
I said that shit.
You my boy, man.
MIKE: No, no, you like
my brother, man.
JULIE: So, what am I?
Oh, man...
Julie, sweetie, you...
You're a little dangerous.
See, you like a magnet
for random gunfire.
But you're all right.
You're cool.
You're down.
So, what's next?
No, no. See,
there ain't gonna be no next.
Whoa, Marcus, Marc...
Come on, man.
You wanted
Mike Lowrey,
you got him.
Right here.
That's Mike.
Old Mike Lowrey.
I'm going home to my wife
to get my quality time.
Marcus, why don't you
stop playing, man?
I been beat three times
since we been out here.
I'm cool, man,
I don't need no help.
Please, back up.
Don't need no help.
I don't know why you're going
home to your wife.
You got shot in your leg,
your dick don't work.
JULIE: Marcus, do you
have the keys?
MARCUS: Mike wanted me to go
to this gunfight, then...
Well, then
there was this witness...
My man!
Oh, I'm sorry.
My man, let me out of here.
I don't got the keys.
What do you mean,
why wouldn't you have keys?
Marcus, I thought you
said you love me!
Show me love!