COLT: We spent last summer, training at our grandfather's cabin.
ROCKY: But this summer, Grandpa wanted to give us the ultimate test.
TUM TUM: We just got too good for him.
COLT: We got good. Your level is still ninja daycare.
TUM TUM: No, yours is! ROCKY: Grow up, you two.
Grandpa said we still have lots to learn.
(YELLING)
(KARATE YELL)
(GRUNTS)
(SNARLS)
Ow!
Come on!
Why'd you get in my way, Colt? I had him.
You didn't even get near him, Tum Tum.
I did, too. Didn't I, Rocky?
Looks like grandpa wins again.
(CHUCKLING)
Keep your eyes on the target.
Wipe all thoughts from your mind,
and keep your energy focused on the target.
Watch the bull's-eye grow in front of your eyes.
And when it gets as big as a melon.
Wow!
I want you to look within yourself.
And remember, all ninjas.
- Hiya! - Heart.
- Ya! - Mind and body!
And spirit.
Hiya!
Ah!
Now I've taught you all I know.
And it's time for you to go and study
with a teacher far greater than myself.
Japan, Japan, Japan!
We get to go to Japan?
All right. Quiet, quiet.
I must go next week
to my hometown in Koga.
And I have arranged for you
to come with me to study with the Grand Master!
All right! Grand Master!
- I never knew that was there. - That's just the point.
Fifty years ago,
I was just about your age.
I fought for the honor of receiving this dagger.
There was a legend about the dagger and a samurai sword.
They could open the door to a cave of gold, laden with riches!
TUM TUM: Like a key?
GRANDPA: Ooh! Exactly.
The old master told me the whole legend
when the dagger was passed along.
Many believed the story.
Koga, the boy who I defeated
was one of them.
When he lost, he tried to steal the dagger from me.
ROCKY: What happened to that kid,
the one who tried to steal your dagger?
Oh, who knows?
Just little boys playing a long time ago.
But now, I must take this dagger
and present it to the winner of the Ninja Tournament.
What about the cave of gold, Grandpa?
Can we visit it when we go to Japan?
Weren't you listening, twerp? You need the sword, too.
- Bigger twerp. - Biggest.
- Bigger-est. - Boys, boys.
It's just a legend.
There is no cave of gold.
And the sword.
Who knows where it is?
(ALARM BLARING)
(SCREAMS)
I waited 50 years for my revenge, Mori Shintaro.
GRANDPA: Before you go to Japan,
you will be tested on the field of battle.
Now remember what I have taught you:
Control.
Restraint.
Concentration.
Unity.
Four strands of rope.
Now, separately you will snap.
But together you'll be strong.
Now get out there and kick butt!
TUM TUM: Yeah!
(ALL CHEERING)
All right. Get it up, son.
Michael, where are you?
Two, please. One with the bun, one without the bun.
- It's on me. - Oh. Thanks.
When does the ice cream guy get here?
In about a half-hour.
(WATCH BEEPS)
Hi, Lisa DiMarino.
(SINGSONG) Lisa DiMarino.
Bye, Lisa!
Ah! Don't they look adorable in their uniforms?
ANNOUNCER: Welcome to Final Games League Championship playoffs.
Our series decide at one game.
So this game will determine who goes home proudly with the championship trophy.
The Dragons...
(CHEERING)
...or the Mustangs.
(CHEERING)
Play ball!
Batter up!
(EXCLAIMS)
(GRUNTS)
- Safe! - Michael!
You're supposed to be playing baseball!
Catch the ball, not the weenie!
Keith.
(CROWD YELLING)
Jeez!
(COUGHS)
Hey, come on, break it up. Back off.
Don't dig so deep. You'll only be here for one more pitch.
Hey, batter, batter, batter!
Batter couldn't hit with a telephone pole.
Come on, Darren, Little Pony couldn't hit a full moon.
(GRUNTING)
Ah, yeah!
(CROWD CHEERING)
Whoo!
Rocky! Concentration!
Heart.
Mind.
Body.
Lisa?
(STUTTERS)
(CHANTING) Rocky! Rocky!
Rocky!
You're home! Safe! Here's the ball.
Stepping up to the plate for the Mustangs, number 11, Gerald Thomas.
This kid doesn't come alive very often to play.
But when he does, he really lets go.
(STRAINING)
(FARTING)
(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
Ah!
It's a long drive. It's back, back, back!
And it's out of here! It's on the parkway!
(FARTING CONTINUOUSLY)
At bat for the Dragons, number 14, Jeffrey Douglas!
Yay!
Colt!
Batter's got time.
Remember the bull's-eye!
(SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY)
Time!
Get your shoe here, son.
Two down. Let's go.
Colt! Strength in restraint! Control!
Shall we play ball, boys?
Jeffrey! Jeffrey!
Stop!
Don't do it, Jeffrey!
(GRUNTING)
Scramble!
(SHOUTING)
(FARTING)
(CHUCKLES)
(BEEPING)
Thank you.
(GRUNTING)
This is the most disgraceful display
I have ever seen in baseball history!
You're supposed to be learning how to be citizens and sportsmen,
not hooligans!
I am suspending this game for one week
to give you a chance to cool down!
The game starts over next Sunday.
That is if, by then, any of you decide to grow up!
I'm not going to Japan. We're gonna play baseball.
What are you talking about?
- I want to go. - I want to play.
Stop it! "I want, I want."
What's the matter with you guys?
I just want to tell you I was very embarrassed and ashamed
of your behavior out there,
and you should be, too.
How can I pay attention with Grandpa pestering me from the stands like that?
- Jeffrey! - That's what's embarrassing.
That's enough.
And Samuel, just what were you looking at when you were supposed to be pitching?
TUM TUM: (SINGSONG) Lisa DiMarino, Lisa DiMarino.
And you, Jeffrey, fighting like that.
How many times have I told you about your temper?
You're just gonna have to learn how to control it.
Well, I wonder where he gets it from.
You see what this ninja stuff does?
All they want to do is fight.
Does this mean no Japan?
It may mean no to a lot of things, Michael,
until all of you guys decide to grow up.
This sucks.
Rocky, why were you daydreaming about Lisa DiMarino on the plate?
(KIDS ARGUING)
Four strands.
Hey! I didn't do that! That was... And Rocky!
I think the rope is unraveling.
One, two, three...
Three.
- MAN: Four! - Four!
(SINGING)
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
Hello?
(BAND CONTINUES PLAYING)
Who?
Stop!
Somebody pull the plug!
What the...
What did you say the name of your band was called?
- Tough Noogies. - Alien Vomit.
Glam, get behind the bar and do what you were hired for.
Leon, I...
The rest of you clowns
get out of my club!
Glam, come here, come here.
There's a phone call for you.
Uh, thank you.
Ho! Hey, Uncle!
Hey, how's the weather in Japan?
My idiot nephew, forget the weather.
Did you get the pictures?
Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.
Cool knife.
I will pay you well
to perform this task for me.
We'll take it!
GRANDPA: The tickets are for Tokyo, Japan.
How many tickets, boys? Come on.
All right, huddle up.
Colt, it's Japan.
I mean, how often do you get this chance like this?
Are you just gonna throw it away?
What about winning the baseball championships?
You want to throw that away?
- I want to go. - Your vote doesn't count.
It does, too.
You could pitch the winning game, Rocky.
What do you think Lisa DiMarino would think of that?
Come on, boys, I can't wait all day.
We voted,
and, uh,
we're gonna play baseball.
Oh, uh...
Just one ticket.
I'll come pick it up. Thanks.
I voted to go, Grandpa.
(SCOFFS)
Thank you, Tum Tum, for wanting to continue your ninja training.
Ninja? I really wanted to go there
to learn how to be a sumo wrestler.
You know how much those guys get to eat every day?
Don't burn dinner, and clean up the mess afterwards.
By the time you get back, dinner will be on the table.
I think that's him.
The old fart. The guy who we're trying to steal this from.
VINNIE: No wonder your uncle's offering 20 grand.
He's gone. That means that the cabin's empty.
ALL: Rock 'n' roll!
(ALARM BEEPING)
Someone's coming.
Robbers.
Or maybe somebody's lost.
A ninja must always be prepared for battle.
Or to give directions.
Listen, while we're in there, we should steal some VCRs, refrigerators, TV...
Directions?
ALL: I don't think so.
Let's murder-lize them!
Hmm. Let's see what we have here for our guests.
Eggs, old pie.
Let me have a taste of it.
I'm gonna keep a lookout, you two go and do the deed.
- I'm gonna flatten you! - Focus!
What are you hitting me for? He's doing it.
I gotta do all the work around here.
Whoo! Piece of cake.
Okay. On three.
Wait. Wait. Is that the one after two?
- Yeah. - Okay.
One,
two...
Three!
(SCREAMING)
Get off of me!
Look, a desk!
If you were gonna hide a letter opener,
wouldn't you hide it in a desk?
I found it. He-he!
See? Let's go.
Were you hatched from a moron egg?
Does that look like this? Get a better scent.
You sniff around down here. I'll go upstairs.
(SINGING OFF TUNE)
Who's there?
Gotta be around here somewhere.
How hard could it be to find a little dagger?
(HUMMING)
Huh?
(GROWLING SOFTLY)
(KARATE YELL)
Slam?
Mmm!
Slam, man. You find it?
- Lemon meringue. - Banana cream, bozo!
Nice try.
Vinnie!
Come on, cheesehead!
Was that a yes?
I don't think the house is empty.
There's nobody here.
(GRUNTS)
You're right. There's somebody here.
(EXCLAIMING)
I'm tired of playing with you, you little...
That's it, you runts! You're mine!
(MOCKINGLY) Please, Mr. Man, don't hurt us.
Come on!
(YELLING)
(LAUGHING)
Get over here!
- Ya! - Ya!
Who are you guys, Teenage Mutant wannabes?
No!
(KARATE YELL)
ALL: We're the Three Ninjas!
Ya!
Let's get out of here while we're still standing.
I'm with that.
Out of my way, Slam. I'm out of here!
- I'm working with idiots. - (BOYS LAUGHING)
Oh, yeah? Come on. Try and get me. Come on, come on.
Let's get him!
VINNIE: Watch the tree! Watch the tree!
Chickens.
Come on. Go, go, go. Go, go, go.
SLAM: Vinnie! VINNIE: What are you doing?
(ENGINE STALLING)
Now, if I was a dagger, where would I...
Ah!
(ENGINE STALLING)
(SLAM AND VINNIE ARGUING)
Huh!
(ENGINE STARTS)
I did it!
(YELLING)
Come see us again!
I thought it was supposed to be empty.
Glam said it was supposed to be empty.
(EXCLAIMING)
It was supposed to be an easy job.
He said it was supposed to be good.
- Stop! - Glam said it was empty.
Glam. Glam!
We forgot Glam!
(YELLING)
He's here. Drive!
(LAUGHING)
- Wasn't that great? - That was awesome.
I can't believe the oil trick worked twice.
What the...?
I thought you were gonna have dinner ready. What is this mess here?
- There was these three guys... - They tried to rob the cabin!
What did they want to rob?
TVs and stuff. We heard them talking.
Yeah, but we got rid of them. You should've seen it.
Yeah, they finally gave up and ran away.
We used everything you taught us. We were great.
A true ninja never brags about his skills.
The next time, call the police.
There were these, uh...
- Security guards. - Security guards and...
- Watchdogs! - Watchdogs!
(CHATTERING OVER PHONE)
GLAM: I got close to it. I saw it.
Do you have the dagger?
No, I don't have it. It's not...
I mean, It's not like it's exactly in my hands.
I want the dagger in my hands tomorrow.
Understand? Tomorrow!
Get the dagger and be at my office, here in Tokyo,
or you will receive no pay.
- (DIAL TONE) - Love you.
We're dropping Dad at the airport on our way home.
I think he's really disappointed the boys aren't going.
Well, everything they need to know about life,
they can learn on the baseball field, the way I did.
(LAUGHS)
Hey, don't forget your dad was a kid once, too.
I thought he was born full-grown with a briefcase.
That's enough, Colt.
You know, when I was a kid,
at least I played like a member of the team out there, huh.
- The way you're gonna play next week, right? - Yes.
Michael, come on!
Hey! Who ate my Good 'n' Plenty?
This should protect my bag.
Mousetrap.
Oh, I almost forgot the most important thing.
(EXCLAIMS EXCITEDLY)
- They're taking the dagger with them. - Let's go get it.
GLAM: No, no. Wait, wait, wait.
Hey, Mori, which one of these bags are yours?
The one without the sticker.
Which one?
Oh, here it is.
Goodbye, boys. Wish you were coming with me.
Me, too, Grandpa.
There he goes with the bag!
- Bye, Dad. - Goodbye.
- Bye, Grandpa. - Bye.
ALL: Vacation time!
(GROANING)
Oh, my God! This is terrible.
I'm so sorry. I'm just a stupid American.
Take some money. It was just an accident...
Very sorry. Sorry, sir. Sorry.
Get in! Get in! Get in!
Greetings, Uncle!
I was expecting you earlier.
Don't touch me!
Get out of the way!
Uncle, we did your bidding, and we got the goods right here.
- Quiet, fool. - Quiet, fool.
Quiet, fool.
- Give it to me! - Give it to him!
Give it to him!
Hey, nice vase.
Behold! The dagger of doom.
(SCREAMING)
Slam! Slam!
- I can explain this. - You have failed!
Ishikawa! Show them how we deal with fools!
- (CRACKING) - (SCREAMING)
Hey, that's our lead singer, you!
We can do instrumentals. We don't need lyrics.
Ishikawa, can we talk about this?
(LAUGHING)
Uncle!
Nephew, I am much dissatisfied.
But I am prepared to give you another chance.
You say Mori Shintaro is in Japan.
Keep an eye on him.
Listen to every word he says.
And bring back that dagger to me!
Yeah!
(SCREAMING)
My fortune says, "Love will appear on a journey."
Well, you blew that one for us.
- Hey, you voted to stay, too. - I know.
But I wish I hadn't.
Besides, all love fortunes are for Rocky.
That means you got mine. What's it say?
Come on, put them on.
Grandpa says you make it worse when you squint.
Put them on, Rocky. We won't make fun of you.
Ah! The four-eyed beast!
Mine says I have an insect for a brother, and I should squash him!
Colt, help me!
(LAUGHING)
BOY 1: He's right. BOY 2: Yeah.
You do look like a four-eyed beast.
Only I can call my brother that.
What do you call him? My Little Pony?
Kick their butts, Colt.
I'd love to see you try. Come on.
Let's go. Let's go inside.
- Now! - You're not my boss.
I said, now!
DARREN: Ha-ha! Yeah, go inside. The strikeout kid.
See you Sunday, Dragons!
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
COLT: Why did you do that, Rocky? You're acting like Grandpa.
TUM TUM: You would've have murder-lized them.
COLT: You made me look like a wimp in front of those guys.
Why did you do that?
Chill, it's Grandpa.
- Grandpa? - Grandpa?
Well, hello, boys! I'm all right.
I'm in a hospital.
What's wrong, Grandpa?
Oh, I was in a tiny car accident.
A few bruises.
I'm at the mercy of a nurse that doesn't speak English.
Actually, she's a witch posing as a nurse.
Ow!
Do you mind? I'm talking to my grandson.
I had all my luggage stolen.
Yeah. They took everything. Even the dagger.
They stole the dagger.
(SCREAMS IN PAIN)
You vampire!
I saw this weird Japanese guy with long, white hair running away.
Listen, don't tell your mom and dad.
We won't tell mom and dad.
I'm in Tokyo General.
Oh, it's a fine hospital.
Except for this wicked nurse, with a face like a dragon's butt.
- (CRUNCHING) - (EXCLAIMS IN PAIN)
Some people here do understand English, Mr. Shintaro!
Hope you feel better soon. Bye.
- Did he say who hit him? - Some Japanese guy with white hair.
Like the jerko metal-head at the cabin?
- Oh, no! - Those guys are in Japan!
Ah! This isn't my bag.
This is Grandpa's bag. Look.
They were after the dagger.
We gotta go there right away. We gotta help Grandpa.
Colt, what about the baseball game?
That's a game. This is Grandpa.
But then where are my Ding Dongs?
Forget your Ding Dongs. We gotta work fast.
First, I'll take care of the tickets.
TICKET CLERK: Okay, so that's three children's fares to Tokyo.
Well, we're almost grown-up.
Can I have the name on the card?
Uh, Mori Shintaro. He's my grandfather.
I'm afraid we'll need his authorization. Can I talk to him?
Uh, sure.
Colt, do you have Grandpa's message ready from the answering machine?
(GRANDPA'S VOICE) Hello.
Hello, Mr. Shintaro? Hi, how are you today?
I'm all right.
TICKET CLERK: That's nice.
I just took a reservation from a young man...
GRANDPA: My grandson.
TICKET CLERK: Yes, that's what he told me.
Three seats this afternoon to...
GRANDPA: Tokyo. WOMAN: Yes!
So, I have your authorization for three first-class children's tickets
to Tokyo, totaling $11,364?
(GRANDPA EXCLAIMS)
I'm sorry? Is this amount okay with you?
GRANDPA: Yes, everything, you vampire!
Really, sir! I don't set the prices. I just work here.
I'll run this through.
And your grandsons can pick the tickets up at the airport.
Ugly witch.
Oh, yeah? Well, you know what you are?
Goodbye.
All right, now we got to get it in gear. We got a lot to do.
First, I'll write a note to Mom and Dad.
Colt, you find all the money in the house,
and, Tum Tum, you call a shuttle.
We'll be packed by the time it gets here.
How are we gonna do all that before Mom and Dad gets home?
You've heard of ingenuity, right?
Well, this is "ninja-nuity."
ROCKY: Tum Tum!
But I don't want to leave Mom and Dad.
Tum Tum, it's for Grandpa.
Happy?
- How fast can you get us to LAX? - Buckle up.
(BOYS YELLING)
Colt?
Tum Tum?
Rocky?
(SCREAMING)
(LAUGHING)
It's okay. We'll just stick together.
COLT: Rocky, catch.
Ah!
You're out!
MAN: She thank you. Want to repay you.
Oh, could you take us to Tokyo General Hospital?
(IN JAPANESE)
She want to know, are you sick?
No, we're fine. But our grandpa's there.
Mori Shintaro. Do you know him?
No, but it will be our pleasure.
(KOREAN SONG PLAYING)
Ow!
Can't you do that more gently?
Oh, really, Mr. Shintaro! My grandchildren behave better than you do.
My grandchildren can drive you out of town with their ninja sticks.
- He's right! We could! - That's right, Tum Tum...
Boys! What are you doing here?
ALL: Grandpa, we missed you!
Nurse Hino, these are my three ninjas!
Rocky, Colt and Tum Tum.
Ouch! Would you get that...? Get out of here!
Well, boys.
Colt, what about the baseball game?
You're more important, Grandpa.
Oh!
We think you're in a lot of danger.
What kind of danger?
You know the guy you said stole your luggage?
Japanese guy with the white hair?
He's the same guy who tried to rob the cabin.
How do you know?
COLT: Did he look like a heavy-metal chump?
Like he was trying to be a grunge-rock stud?
The guy with the ugly white hair.
The troll kind of hair!
- You know, the real wannabe type. - Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
He's got a big nose.
- (LAUGHING) - Will you shut up, please?
COLT: I think those guys were after the dagger, Grandpa.
Well, they have it now.
Rocky, how?
You took Tum Tum's bag by mistake.
And they got my Ding Dongs.
ALL: Did you hear that? Those kids got it!
So you came all this way because you thought I needed your help.
What'd you tell your parents?
Well, uh...
Oh, no.
We left them a note.
We have to call them on the phone and tell them what's going on.
Meanwhile, we'd better make some plans about the dagger.
Hello, Jessica!
How's everything? How's the weather?
(JESSICA SCREAMS OVER PHONE)
She's pissed.
ALL: Hi, Mom.
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
Oh, Jessica, it's not their fault.
I missed them and I sent for them.
Here, you talk to Tum Tum.
Hi, Mom. No.
Hey, boys.
The tournament is going on right now in Koga.
I want you to take this dagger
and present it to the winner of the competition.
- What about you, Grandpa? - I'll meet you in Koga.
What? Oh, Ma.
Yes. Now do this for me.
Set the beeper on your watch.
And you call us every day at 2:00 p.m., Tokyo time.
Okay, Mom, okay. Got it. 2:00 p.m.
Mom wants to say goodbye!
- Bye. - Bye.
Bye, Mom.
Nurse Hino, I thought I told you to go away!
Do you know how I deal with troublesome patients?
(KARATE YELL)
Nurse Hino, can I make a deal with you?
I'll let you use me as a pin cushion
if you see to it that my boys get on the train to Koga.
I'll be glad to help.
- It's the end of my shift anyway. - Thank God.
Nurse Shibuya will be taking my place.
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
(GRANDPA SCREAMING)
ROCKY: I hope we make it to the tournament in time.
COLT: I hope we see some great ninjas there.
TUM TUM: I hope there's food.
(UPBEAT POP MUSIC)
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
(GONG DINGING)
ALL: Ha!
(CHEERING)
Ha!
(CROWD CHEERING)
Is this what Grandpa wanted us to learn?
The next level of screaming?
Ya!
This guy's really good.
I could take him.
ROCKY: Hey, Colt. If number 16 wins this one, he'll be in the finals.
(CROWD CHEERING)
I'll be right back.
- Ya! - Ya!
Hey, that guy's not bad.
He's kind of wild, like Colt.
- Colt! - Colt!
Come on, he's gonna get his brains splattered.
Stay here. Maybe this is the lesson Grandpa had in mind.
- Yes! - Yes!
Ow!
(KARATE YELL)
A girl?
I'm such a spaz.
Rocky?
If she's the winner, does that mean we give her this?
Let's go ask Mr. Big over there.
(IN JAPANESE)
I'm sorry, you're going too fast.
Perhaps I can help. I speak some English.
Yes, tell him we bring this dagger from our grandfather, Mori Shintaro.
(IN JAPANESE)
Whoa! Look at those feet!
He say he know everything. He spoke with your grandfather from Tokyo.
(GRAND MASTER CONTINUES IN JAPANESE)
Bet he's ticklish.
He says ceremony will wait a few days, until Mori Shintaro arrive.
We must uphold the tradition.
What shall we do with this?
(IN JAPANESE)
Grand Master say if your grandfather trusted you with it, so does he.
Colt got beat by a girl! Colt got beat by a girl!
- I'm still better than you. - Shut up, spaz!
You are worthy opponent, Spaz.
Oh, no. It's Colt. This is Rocky and Tum Tum.
I am Miyo. This is my mother.
I would love to hear about America. You live near Bart Simpson?
- No. - Were do you stay in Koga?
I don't know. We didn't plan anything.
(IN JAPANESE)
Then you come home with us.
We'd be honored. But first, we must hurry.
One more important place to go.
(CROWD CHEERING)
Every year she is the only girl to try out.
Hey, who lives in that castle over there? The evil umpire?
Castle Hikone. No one live there. Very, very old.
Bend arm.
- Maybe she should stick to ninja. - Shut up.
He tell me to come back when I learn to catch.
You see, because of ninja I am good at swinging butt.
What?
You know, swing my butt.
You mean your "bat."
Yes. My butt.
Hey, I got an idea.
- You teach us ninja. - And we'll teach you baseball.
(UPBEAT JAPANESE SONG)
(WATCH BEEPS)
Yes!
(GASPS) Oh, yes!
(SHOUTS IN JAPANESE)
That was Grand Master's house. Run!
(SHOUTING)
- Greetings, Uncle! - Where have you been?
Doing your bidding, my dearest blood of my blood.
Listen to this.
(HEAVY METAL MUSIC BLARING)
- Rock 'n' roll! - Oh, man!
- Stop! - (STOPS MUSIC)
Why are you wasting my time?
Relax, san. What's the big deal? Wrong tape.
Here, go on.
Just a second.
(GRANDPA ON TAPE) The tournament is going on right now in Koga.
So I want you to take this dagger and present it
to the winner of the competition.
Oh. That is his plan.
Return the dagger to the Grand Master.
Perfection.
I will be ready for him.
Ishikawa, prepare for our journey.
What about us? What about our dough?
I asked for a dagger, you bring me a tape.
- Two tapes. - No payment!
You have failed me.
Take care of them!
(GROWLING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(ISHIKAWA LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
This is great.
Rocky, tell Miyo's mother how good this is.
(IN JAPANESE)
(REPEATS JAPANESE)
Thank you.
And we know what a picky eater my brother is.
Your Japanese is getting good, Rocky.
You should learn something to say to Grand Master tomorrow.
Like, "Clip your toenails."
(LAUGHING)
I have an idea what will help. Come, I will show you.
This is book that helps me learn your language.
See?
I don't read Japanese. You can just teach me a few words.
MIYO: No, it's half in English. Don't you see?
Yeah. Well, why don't you just read it to me?
You're better at this.
Just go ahead. Just sound it out.
"Hello."
(TRANSLATES IN JAPANESE)
"Nice to meet you."
(TRANSLATES IN JAPANESE)
"Nice to meet you."
(BOTH IN JAPANESE)
"Nice to meet you."
Ow!
(LAUGHING)
Rocky loves Miyo!
COLT: Rocky loves Miyo!
(TUM TUM LAUGHS)
(GROANING)
MIYO: Grand Master say he will start your training today, too.
We're ready for him.
You were a great help, Miyo.
I wish I could go with you.
- Well, good luck. - Thanks.
We'll do great. See you later.
COLT: Bye, Miyo! ROCKY: Bye, Miyo!
Bye, Miyo. My little chicken pot pie.
KOGA: So
you are the grandsons of Mori Shintaro.
Hey, how come you didn't speak English to us at the tournament?
KOGA: In front of the other people?
They would not understand us. It would be rude.
(GRAND MASTER MOANING)
(GASPS)
(IN JAPANESE)
KOGA: Did you bring the dagger your grandfather gave you?
I thought you wanted to wait till he arrived.
I changed my mind.
I want it now.
Weren't you shorter the other day?
Rocky! Colt! Tum Tum!
He's a fake!
Scramble!
(YELLING)
(IN JAPANESE)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
(LAUGHING)
What are you gonna do, talk us to death?
(YELLING)
- (WATCH BEEPING) - Oh, no! Mom!
Rocky! Give me the phone!
Sure.
Catch.
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
It's about time. You're five minutes late.
Hey, Mom. It's me.
What's going on there?
Not much.
You know, it's just a small town in Japan.
Colt, Mom wants to talk to you.
Coming down!
Hi, Mom. Dad!
I thought there wasn't gonna be anymore ninja stuff for a while.
We're not doing ninja.
We're just seeing the sights and meeting the people.
As soon as you get home,
we're gonna have a long talk about responsibility.
Fine. I'll set aside a month.
Don't be a smart kid.
I'm not being a smart kid.
Rocky wants to talk to you.
Hi, Dad. Uh, the noise? What noise?
It's the TV. It's a kung fu movie.
Tum Tum, turn it down!
Hang on a sec.
(KARATE YELL)
Grandpa? Uh, he's out fishing with friends.
Yeah, gotta go. Bye.
(KARATE YELL)
(LAUGHING)
Come on, Rocky!
- Rocky! - Rocky!
(LAUGHING)
(JEERING IN JAPANESE)
(GROWLING)
- All right, Miyo! - All right, Miyo!
Oh. Where have you guys been?
So that's where you've been hiding?
Quickly, but be careful.
This way, secret passageway to outside.
You said this was a secret.
KOGA: This is my ninja compound. My army trains here.
(MEN SHOUTING)
KOGA: Don't even think of escaping.
Hey, let me go, you big hairy ape!
Did I say ape? Forget it.
It's not fair to the other apes.
(LAUGHING)
I just knew it was a bad idea coming to Japan.
What? You were the one who voted for it in the first place.
I just wish I was home.
I want to see Mom and Dad.
I want to be in my own house.
I want to eat a real cheeseburger with real cheese.
I knew this would come around to food.
What is a ninja?
Rocky, stop being like Grandpa.
What is a ninja?
- A body. - A spirit.
A mind.
Tum Tum?
A heart.
(ALARM BEEPING)
It's pretty quiet around here without the team, huh, coach?
You know, they don't even seem to care what I think anymore.
They listen to their Grandpa more than they listen to me.
Well, they listen to their Grandpa because their Grandpa listens to them.
I wish that they could behave more like...
- Like what? Like you? - Yeah.
They can't, honey. They're not you.
They're Samuel, and Jeffrey, and Michael.
- No, they're not. - They're not?
They're Rocky, and Colt, and Tum Tum.
- Mmm? - Mmm-hmm.
- I just wish they'd come home. - Yeah.
I will give you one last chance.
I have the dagger and the samurai sword, but they tell me nothing.
Only one man knows their secret, and that is Mori Shintaro.
Are you capable of kidnapping an old man?
- Uncle. - A hospitalized old man?
I've a marvelous idea.
This is stupid. I feel ridiculous.
Quiet, you. Put the mask on.
All right.
The phone was ringing. I thought it was for me.
Straighten up.
GRANDPA: Good day, ladies. Hello.
Hello.
- That was him! - That was him!
That was him?
- Yo, sir! Excuse me, we have. - Yes, nurse?
Your physical therapy.
I had my physical therapy today.
- I don't mean therapy... - Just that we're discharging you.
Oh, I see.
I never saw you lovely young ladies before.
Oh, that's because we've been on holiday.
Whoa!
I'm getting tired of this!
You're on the wrong floor, girls.
Mine!
(KARATE YELL)
(SCREAMING)
Bye, girls.
SLAM: Oh, my leg, my foot, my ankle! Oh, Vinnie!
VINNIE: Say something! What kind of leader are you?
NURSE: Surgery preparation. VINNIE: Yeah, surgery.
SLAM: Vinnie! Glam! VINNIE: No surgery.
VINNIE: No! No surgery. We're fine.
Whoa!
Why have you brought me here?
Why have you put me in these clothes? Why?
KOGA: Leave us.
Who are you?
A boy from your childhood.
(GASPS) Koga!
Boys!
BOYS: Grandpa!
Are you all right?
We're okay, Grandpa.
What about you, Grandpa? They're not hurting you, are they?
Grandpa, get us out of here. Please?
I'll try my best.
Who's that in there with you?
Rocky's girlfriend.
She's not my girlfriend...
Well, I mean.
Remember. Four strands of rope.
The cave. Where is the cave?
According to legend
the cave is beneath Castle Hikone.
KOGA: The dagger. The dagger.
The sword and the dagger are the keys.
Now let my grandchildren go!
(GRUNTS)
You have someplace else to go first. Castle Hikone.
A ninja must use everything around him to his advantage.
But there's nothing here we can use.
I still have a ninja ball.
I don't even have my jellybeans anymore.
Forget it. There's no way to escape.
We don't have to.
We just have to make it look like we did.
(ALL YELLING)
Don't you just hate us?
They must be on their way to Castle Hikone.
- My bag! - Where's that?
I know where it is.
- What do we do? - Let's kick their butts!
(ALL YELLING)
(ALL SHOUT)
(SCREAMING)
- Hiya! - (SCREAMING)
(LAUGHING)
(GROANING)
(LAUGHING)
(IN JAPANESE)
(SNARLS)
- Light up their eyes! - Let's light these fat boys up.
(YELLING)
Colt! Get him off me!
There!
How are we gonna get there?
On the wings of eagles.
TUM TUM: I don't want to fly!
(SCREAMING)
Come on! It's just like a roller coaster.
I hate roller coasters!
(SCREAMS) I want to go down!
GRANDPA: The entrance is down an old well.
Over there.
Ah, here it is!
(IN JAPANESE)
TUM TUM: Watch where you're going!
COLT: I am watching.
- Look out for that tree! - What tree?
(BOTH SCREAMING)
There's the door.
The sword.
(LOCK CLICKS)
The dagger!
(LOCK CLICKS)
Oh!
The gate to my cave of gold.
Ishikawa, wait here.
Look! The dagger and the sword.
- Maybe you should leave it there. - No, we might need it.
I don't like the look of this place.
It's sealed shut.
Nice job, Spaz.
What is this place?
TUM TUM: It's creepy, that's what it is.
(ALL SCREAMING)
Four strands of rope.
(IN JAPANESE)
These are ancient samurai warriors!
Your riches are nothing but skulls and bones!
You're chasing fairy tales
and I'm not gonna be buried here for your greed!
There is no cave of gold.
No! No! No!
A fairy tale?
It is a cave of gold!
The legend was true!
Yes. It is true.
No.
I... I beg of you.
The brave warrior, begging for his life.
Goodbye, Mori Shintaro.
I beat you once, Koga.
That was a long time ago, Grandpa.
(YELLING)
(LAUGHING)
(JEERING IN JAPANESE)
(SCREAMS)
(YELLING)
Behind you!
(GROANING)
Excuse me, Mr. Man.
Hiya!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
This way!
(YELLING)
Colt!
We're coming!
(ALL YELLING)
I will win, because you are controlled by your greed!
Don't move.
Fifty years ago, I accidentally scarred your face.
What has happened to your soul, that I truly regret.
No more talking.
Your fate is to be buried here.
(GUN BLASTS)
(LOUD RUMBLING)
Let's go!
You mean, "Scramble!"
Yeah!
Koga, it's not worth it.
Come with me.
Come on!
Tum Tum, watch out behind you. Here comes the bag.
- Hurry up, Tum Tum! - Come on!
I'm trying!
I want to find it! I want to find it!
- Please! - Tum Tum!
I found it!
(ALL CLAMORING)
Let's go! You got it?
I found my Ding Dongs.
ALL: Tum Tum!
(IN JAPANESE)
A true ninja is free from all desire.
It took me a long time to understand that, Mori Shintaro.
From our days in Koga, until this moment.
Slow learner.
Hmm.
You are all very brave ninjas.
All of you.
Grandpa, this is Miyo. Champion of the Koga Dojo.
You? A young lady?
As this was presented to me by a ninja master,
I pass this to you.
You have achieved
ninja level at the highest mastery of mind.
- Body. - Spirit.
And heart.
Keep this dagger
till the day you will present it
to a young ninja.
This is better than winning World Cereals.
I think you mean "Series."
What I said, "Cereals."
It's too bad we missed our game.
I thought it wasn't till Sunday.
- It is Sunday. - Not in America. It's Saturday.
- If we catch a plane today... - We can make it!
What are you gonna do, Coach? You can't play with only six players.
The rest of them are off on vacation.
What are you gonna do?
(SIGHS) I guess we have no choice.
I forfeit.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry I have to relay this to you,
but because of a shortage of players,
the Dragons have announced...
ALL: Play ball!
Hey! How are ya?
Oh, this is great timing!
This is great. Come on, let's go. Let's play ball, huh?
You heard him! Play ball!
(CHEERING)
- I missed you so much. - And the boys.
The big question in everyone's mind is:
Will this be a baseball game or a wrestling match?
- Out! - Two down, everybody.
(CHEERING)
Dragons are down by one.
Two strikes in the battle, runners at second and third.
Here we go.
Come on, Colt! Bring me home!
Yeah! Yeah! Whoo!
Thanks for the air-conditioning, horsy.
Now batting, number 10, Gerald Thomas.
It's a bloop single to left. Runner digging for third base.
Ooh! That's hitting below the belt.
I hope the Mustangs won't turn this into a wrestling match.
Okay, out.
Replacing number 25 for the Dragons is number 21.
Hmm. That player doesn't seem to be on the roster here.
Top of the seventh, Mustangs up four to two.
Bases are loaded, they have a chance to blow it wide open.
And the pitch.
Long drive, deep centre field.
The centre fielder going back, back to the wall.
Leaping!
A great catch!
By a girl!
- Yeah, Miyo! - Yeah!
Great! That was great! That was a great catch.
Everybody gather around.
All right, listen up. It's our last three at bat.
Let's just go out there and do our best, all right?
- ALL: All right. - Okay!
Boys, come here.
Look, win or lose
I just wanted to tell you
that I'm really very proud of you guys.
You're real sportsmen out there.
You see? I told you. You learn about life through baseball.
With a little bit of ninja thrown in, huh?
I'm really glad to have you home, men.
Dad?
Four strands of rope.
Let's murder-lize them!
ALL: Yeah!
ANNOUNCER: It's the bottom of the seventh. Last chance for the Dragons.
They need three runs to win this league championship.
Strike!
Goes to bunt.
Swings away!
Whoa, almost hit the third baseman's head off!
- A base hit. - Come on, Rocky!
All right, Colt!
Hey, Strikeout Kid!
Come on, ninja-nuity!
Colt, let's go. Come on. You can hit now!
Come on, horsy. Bet you can't hit this one.
Come on, Darren!
Two strike!
Come on, boys, come on!
And another one!
Two strikes, two outs.
One more strike and the Mustangs win the championship.
And the pitch.
Whoa! It's a long drive, deep left field. Way back!
Way back!
Dragons could win the championship!
It's headed towards the foul pole.
Twisting, turning, spinning.
- Foul ball! - Oh, no!
It's a foul ball! A foul ball.
(JEERING)
Colt.
Here. Use my bat.
I carved my name for luck, strength and control.
Ninja-nuity.
Come on, son! Come on, you can do it!
Go get them!
Long foul ball. Bet you can't hit it again, loser.
UMPIRE: Batter up!
You throw at this batter one more time,
you're gonna forfeit the game, Coach.
Play ball!
GRANDPA: Watch the bull's-eye grow in front of your eyes.
And when it gets as big as a melon...
ANNOUNCER: The Dragons win the league championship!
The Dragons win! The Dragons win!
(CROWD CHEERING)
This game ain't over yet.
Extra innings in the parking lot.
Come on, fellas.
Well, you're gonna show them when you get back to Koga.
That's for sure.
Yes. I tell them how I kicked bat.
I think you mean... Oh, never mind.
You guys won the first round, but the game ain't over yet.
Colt.
I can handle it.
Tell you what. One on one.
Your best guy.
And you can pick any one of us to fight against.
Okay.
I pick you.
You ruined my home run, girl.
Oh, come on. She's just a girl.
Hey, you play on a guys' team, you play by guys' rules.
She's just visiting. Pick me. I'll fight you.
Come here.
Well, I tried.
I said, come here!
What? Where'd she go?
- Huh? - (KARATE YELL)
(SCREAMING)
(PUNCHING SOUNDS)
(DARREN SCREAMING)
TUM TUM: I hope there's more food in our next adventure.
See you next time. Bye!