Hi, it's me. I'm not here.
If you are a friend or someone who has loved me,
I want to thank you for being a part of my life.
If it's you Mom, I'm coming. I'll be there. Relax.
Here's the beep.
Good afternoon, Mr. Wheeler,
I'm calling from the gas company. I hope you are doing well
and spending these final hours in peace with your loved ones.
Rest assured that we will make every effort
to keep the gas flowing right until the end.
Coming up on "The Last Night on the Planet,"
you're listening to CKRT,
The Top 500 Songs of All Time,
with you, until the end.
* Last night *
* I didn't get to sleep at all *
* No, no *
* I lay awake and watched *
* Until the morning light *
* Washed away the darkness *
* Of the lonely night *
* Lonely night *
* Last night *
* I got to thinkin' maybe *
* I.. I.. *
* I should call you up *
* And just forget my foolish pride *
* I heard your number ringing *
* I went cold inside *
* Last night *
* I didn't get to sleep at all *
* I know it's not my fault *
* I did my best *
* God knows this heart of mine *
* Could use a rest *
* But more and more I find *
* The dreams I left behind *
* Are somehow too real *
* To replace *
* Last night *
* I didn't get to sleep at all *
* No, no, no *
* The sleeping pill I took *
* Was just a waste of time *
* I couldn't close my eyes *
* 'Cause you were on my mind *
* Last night *
* I didn't get to sleep *
* Didn't get to sleep *
* No I didn't get to sleep at all... *
* But more and more I find *
* The dreams I left behind *
* Are somehow too real to replace *
* Last night *
* I didn't get to sleep at all *
* No, no, no *
* The sleeping pill I took was just a waste of time... *
- Hi, Mom. - Yes, dear.
- I'm sorry... - I'll be with you in a minute.
Let's go.
There may be some unfamiliar faces in here.
Hi.
- Your esteemed grandma. - Hi.
There he is. You look so handsome in that suit.
And Rose.
- Rose. - You remember Rose from Edmonton.
- Rose. - Dear sister Jennifer.
- Hi. - And Alex.
Alex, I thought that was you.
I didn't know you were back. I thought you had fled...
- Patrick. - to the hills...
Patrick, shut up.
He comes back when it counts.
Yeah, but I'm surprised you could come.
I thought you would have some big family thing, some big pig roast...
- Patrick. - I'm greeting him like a brother.
- You're being obnoxious. - Yeah, exactly.
Don't pay any attention. He's trying to be funny.
Actually, we are going to my parents' after.
So, let's enjoy the time we have.
We were just opening the stockings.
What? Where's mine? You already started?
Well, we couldn't wait forever.
I don't know, maybe there isn't anything left.
What did you get? Is this yours?
She gave you all this? All this great stuff.
One of these, yeah.
Isn't it a little late for that?
It's old, from when I was a kid.
She's wrapping this old stuff up from the attic.
- It's like nostalgia. - Right.
- Did you notice the tree? - It's a nice tree.
Your old daddy got out the chainsaw and he dragged it back
from the front yard of the Winterson house.
- Quite the tree. - You remember Hazel Winterson.
- They were the first to leave. - I'm not surprised.
Here we are.
Aren't you lucky.
Look what Santa brought you last night.
- Yay. - Not that you deserve it.
- Thank you, Santa. - Imagine, coming late to Christmas.
Uh-uh-uh, not in the fire.
Oh right, it's fake.
What do you mean, it's fake? It's not fake.
It's not for burning.
Use the bag.
When you two were kids, you always used to wake us at 6:00.
"Can we open the presents now, Mom?
Mom, it's Christmas. Wake up, Dad."
Well, no point trying to go to sleep.
But your father put his foot down.
No opening the presents until your grandma arrives.
We had to put a skipping rope across the stairs
just to keep you from getting at the tree.
Skipping rope?
Surprised it worked.
Now he comes an hour late.
Well, Mom, there are two really good excuses
I can think of that maybe you should keep in mind.
For one thing, it's not really Christmas today, is it, Mom?
For another thing, it's the end of the world.
The world is ending tonight, at midnight
and that has kept me pretty occupied lately.
I'll check the dinner.
Would it hurt you to play along just once?
It means a lot to her, to have her family.
I'm sorry.
- Today, of all days. - All right.
Okay, I'm opening. Can I open the big one first?
Wait for your mother.
Mom! Mom!
I have just one question.
Do you think Jimmy's loving Mary-Anne on their last night together?
Take a look in the looking glass. You'll find your answer.
Here on CKRT,
with you until the end.
* Just 17 everything that you've seen *
* It's all there in her eyes *
* So many years of her poor mama's tears *
* And her daddy's sweet lies *
* There's nobody home *
* Mary-Anne's alone *
* Almost fully grown *
* And worrying the why's... *
So, juice?
Perfect.
Tropical punch.
You treat me so well.
You get one every day around now if I'm not mistaken.
I thought I'd try it myself.
I thought you never noticed.
But I did.
So, how goes the battle?
Fine. Good.
Good old computer.
Well, imagine,
even 10 years ago
we'd have had to have eight or nine stations
just to keep the system running.
I know.
- Now... - Now.
Just you.
And you.
Well, I... I'm almost done.
Oh.
Go ahead. I've already got one.
Oh, this. Yes, well,
this one's old. You know, flat.
Yeah.
Well, keep up the fight.
* Sweeter music is calling us away *
* Let it play... *
Bomb, bomb.
This is the last night, you hear me?
Hi, this is Rowena.
Please leave a message. Thanks.
Good evening, Mrs. R. Wheeler.
I'm calling from the gas company and we just wanted to thank you
for being our customer over the years.
I hope you are doing well
and spending these final hours at peace with your loved ones.
Rest assured that we will do our utmost
to keep the gas flowing right until the end.
Thank you and goodbye.
Will somebody get that?
Just leave it, Mom.
Leave it to the machine.
Aunt Margot is taking the whole family,
including the Simpson clan, up north to Muskoka.
She says the whole congregation is going to meet around the lake.
And at midnight, or quarter to, I guess,
they're all going out in canoes.
Oh my God.
Excruciating. Imagine ending it all singing "Kumbaya."
Yes, well she is with the United Church.
Ta-da.
There she is.
- What a bird. - Your mother knows
how to handle a turkey.
Don't butcher it. I'll be right back.
What's she talking about?
Rose,
- you like the dark? - Yes, please.
There were people in the street again today.
Um.
Seems to go in cycles. You be careful when you leave.
Don't go out in the streets unless you have to.
Oh, come on, Dad. We're safe. They're just having fun.
Oh, that's fun, is it? I'm not so sure.
I have to admit they've been better the last while,
but thats not saying much, compared to the first months.
Remember that nonsense?
- There's like two sides. - To what?
Well, I mean, I understand.
You understand what?
Well, why people do it, go crazy in the street.
Mother, I have a little ham you might prefer
for your condition.
People are destroying things, killing people.
It's just a chance to blow some off.
- What, heads? - Steam.
Steam, my mistake.
Yeah, blow off some steam.
Alex, I think I should mention before you make any faux pas here,
that we have a tradition in this family that we don't kill other people.
Patrick, that's not what he's saying. You know what he means.
People want to experience things
and we're all gonna die anyway, so...
That gives us all the more reason to be civil.
Now, more than ever, we should be courteous,
and respect each other's needs.
It's a test of our values.
Sweetheart, you joining us?
Nice speech, Dad.
Oh!
Nice.
Well, look at that.
I know that this is a bit much,
but Patrick, you always loved lamb.
Well, that should do it.
We didn't want anyone to starve.
Thank God we don't have to fit in those canoes.
I'm stuffed just looking at it.
I wanted you to have something special
so when you go home, Patrick, alone at midnight,
you'll remember your parents weren't so bad.
Sweetheart, is that all or...?
Yes, I'm ready.
Oh, Christ.
Let's say grace.
For what we are about to receive,
may the Lord make us truly thankful.
Amen.
Mom, I told you about this three weeks ago.
Why can't you just stay a couple of hours?
You haven't got anybody to go home to.
Mom, I made a decision about where I want to be when it happens,
and I'm sorry, but you're going to have to accept that.
Well, the food's getting cold, isn't it?
Hi.
I'm Lily.
I know.
I'm black.
- I could tell. - Yep, 100%.
I believe you. You're perfect.
Come on in.
Make yourself at home.
Um, would you like a drink?
I have drinks.
Cognac.
All right. Cognac it is.
Should I take off my clothes?
No. Hold on, I'll be there in a minute.
- Thanks. - You're welcome.
You don't remember me, do you?
No.
We met once before
at a Party,
at Baz's place.
I used to go to a lot of parties.
Yeah, that's how I got your number, through a friend of Baz's.
I was asking around and... Chris Vinton is his name.
Anyway, he was talking about this one girl,
beautiful girl,
and click, like that I remembered.
That's very sweet.
So we should um...
- Head to the bedroom? - Yeah.
Go ahead, I'll be with you in a minute.
- More? - No.
No, you don't have to.
What I was trying to say out there is that you're very beautiful,
and I knew that before.
I just wanted you to know I'm not doing this because you're black.
Yes you are.
You don't have to lie.
Yeah.
* The way you move your sexy body *
* I'm liking the things you do *
* The way you move *
* Your sexy body... *
So, before we get started,
there's a couple of things I'd like to try.
Nothing too weird, I think you'll agree.
But um... you know,
if there's anything you had in mind...
Yes.
Maybe you could tell me before so we could fit it in.
Hey, don't worry.
You'll be just fine.
I just wanted to have an orgasm today.
I'll do my best.
* I've been watching you *
* The way you move your sexy body *
* Body, body *
* Hey *
* I'm liking the things you do... *
* They could not help me to *
* Two of you *
* And your sexy body... *
I love each and every one of you.
Leave a message.
Good evening, Mr. Zwiller.
I'm calling from the gas company.
Mom, can I get my ears pierced?
You promised me I could get my ears pierced when I was 12.
Now I'm 12 and three months.
- Let's talk about something else. - I hate this.
Silence!
Excuse me, how long have you been waiting?
Almost 20 minutes.
Jeez, where did he go?
Who?
The driver.
What driver?
I don't suppose you know how to drive this thing, do you?
See Mom. You see that. I hate this.
No, darling. I don't see it.
It's just about four hours until the end of the world.
I'm spinning this one for the kids.
Done?
Done.
I have a confession to make.
You bad girl.
Every day?
For seven years at 6:00,
no matter what I was doing or what I was supposed to be doing,
one drink... my private ritual.
But now it's off my chest.
Of course, you know I could fire you for this.
You want one?
I think not, but you go ahead.
Right, you're driving.
You'll call me if you need me?
Now, why would I need you?
That's true.
If there's a problem,
don't let me down.
* A heartbeat, it's a love beat *
* And when we meet it's a good sensation *
* Listen to my heart pound *
* Listen to my love sound... *
Patrick, just promise me you'll call them, okay?
- Promise. - I promise.
Swear to God.
- You be good. - Patrick.
Take care of her.
Can I help you?
This is where I live.
Oh, sorry.
Can I help you?
No. Actually, yes.
Do you have a phone?
- No, not on my person, no. - No, but inside?
- There's a pay phone on the corner. - That doesn't work.
Well, if that doesn't work, mine won't either.
That doesn't work because it's smashed.
Please, it's important.
Hi hon, it's me.
I thought you said you'd still be there.
No, I guess you got off early. Okay, bye.
Hello, honey. Honey, where are you?
I need you to come pick me up. My car got attacked
and I'm stuck here, on Phoenix Drive.
364.
364 Phoenix Drive
at 538-0398.
Call me, please.
I'll try you on the car phone.
You gave him my number?
I'm sorry, is that all right?
Hello, can you...
Shit.
Well, they haven't worked for weeks.
Cell phones. Never really did.
I'm sorry, am I keeping you?
- From what? - From your children.
I don't have any.
Oh.
But these paintings?
Those were done by other people's children.
From a day care.
So are you going to a party?
Nope.
- People coming over? - No, I'm staying here by myself.
Then I'll wait here a minute. Do you mind?
I just went out to pick up some things and my husband is somewhere.
I have to get home.
Would you like a magazine or something?
Something to eat?
Don't entertain me. Just do what you were doing.
Candy cane?
My mother, she just threw this big Christmas dinner.
She wanted us to relive our happiest moments as a family
so she took all this stuff from our childhood
and wrapped it up and gave it to us as gifts.
This stuff?
Yeah, there's these old report cards here,
and awards that I won,
and these little craft things.
That. Let me see that.
Oh yeah, diving.
Must have been my sister's.
I think I had some of these.
Pete Seeger. That rings a bell.
Yeah, my mother says I love
that "Guantanamera."
She sounds nice.
My mother, that she would do all this?
No, that she gave you Pete Seeger when you were a kid.
Well, I don't want to give you the wrong impression.
It's not exactly indicative of my family.
Actually, we had this big fight
when I told her there were socialist implications.
To what, Pete Seeger?
"Patrick, why do you have to go and spoil everything nice?"
- I didn't know. - What?
That he was a socialist.
Oh, you know, folk music.
He had these sing-along things, right?
Uh, yeah.
On TV?
It's Pete Seeger of the Weavers.
You might be thinking of Mitch Miller or something.
* Guantanamera *
* Guajira Guantanamera *
* Guantanamera... *
It's Spanish.
"The streams of the mountain
pleases me more than the sea."
I should go.
So, you're going back there?
- Where? - To your mother's?
No, I told you, I'm staying here.
- By yourself? - Yes. If! can.
If that's not so hard to imagine.
Jesus Christ, where the fuck are you?
Look, if you need a car,
you can always get one.
Where?
From anywhere.
Steal one.
Stupid cell phones.
Three hours!
Three more hours.
- Hurry up! - Shut up, lady.
Move it!
Move on here!
Well, here I am.
I'm a little bit early. I hope that's not a problem.
No, no, no, that's perfect. My friend just left.
We have the place to ourselves?
That's right.
Come in.
So this is your apartment,
where you live.
Isn't it nice?
Is it?
It is.
And what have you been doing again?
What do you mean, before?
Before, with your life.
Well, I finished school.
Finally.
And uh..
I took a couple of years off.
I was going to med school
so I guess I would have been a doctor of some sort.
That's wonderful.
I always knew you had it in you.
Isn't it nice how things worked out so well?
And you grew up so nicely.
You're a handsome man.
Thank you.
So...
Can I get you something to drink?
I have drinks.
Oh no, I'm fine. Thank you.
So, Craig,
you probably won't want to hear this,
but I saw your stepmother
at the Super Save last week.
- Oh, Christ. - She has met another man
and married him, as you may know.
And she made me promise that if I ran into you,
I would tell you that you're welcome
if you want, to join their circle.
Their circle, right.
Their prayer circle.
They're all meeting at Mel Lastman Square.
For the 24 hours leading to the end,
they're going to pray for the souls of humanity.
Of course you've missed the beginning by now,
but I'm sure you can join in whenever you come.
Ah, well,
as much as that sounds like fun...
You have your own way to worship, I guess.
Yeah, I guess I do.
Give me a hug.
I was surprised by your call.
And happy.
You know you were always a favorite.
My favorite student.
You're a favorite of mine.
I know now.
We should um...
head to the bedroom.
* I've been watching you *
* The way you move your sexy body *
* I'm liking the things you do *
* The way you move... *
Even when you're with someone else you're still by yourself,
and I don't think that's pathetic. I don't think that's sad.
What about this one?
No, let's keep going.
But what I do find sad and what I do find pathetic,
is people who don't know themselves
or people who don't like themselves,
and as soon as they hear that the world is ending,
they rush out and try and hook up with someone
like it was closing time at Studio 54.
Well, I guess I'm not the one to talk to.
I know in my heart that I'm not in a meaningful relationship right now.
I'm not with a woman that I love and I can deal with that.
I just feel that now is not the time to compromise.
There's something to be said for human companionship.
- This one? - Fine.
Okay, stand back.
No, wait. Jesus.
I can't drive standard.
That's all right. I don't like it much anyways.
I mean, cars are another big disappointment.
They should have gone farther than this.
They peaked both aesthetically and technically
sometime around the mid '70s...
'72, according to my friend, and then basically no progress.
I mean, we deserved better.
Even the little things. Why do they always have to be shiny?
Why couldn't they make a car with a nice matte finish?
Well, there's something to be said for human companionship.
Come on, I like human beings as much as the next guy.
Okay, this one. This one?
Yeah, all right.
Here we go.
Madam, your car.
So now what?
Now we start it.
I think I understand where you're coming from.
It might make sense in your mind, but I can't really say I agree.
Meaning what?
Take my life, for example, how I met my husband.
I never knew him.
We met at a party when the government closed down.
Three days later we were married.
That was like two months ago.
I had been married before, once before,
to a guy from a bakery shop where I used to work.
I should have known better.
But this marriage, my current marriage,
is the best relationship I've ever had.
I love him.
I feel like we have lived a lifetime together.
So I guess I'm one of those people you hate.
Well, I didn't mean it that way.
And another thing,
I'm pregnant.
You're going to have his baby?
Carrying it. His embryo, my baby.
Do you think that's immoral?
Immoral?
Well, no. None of us can have children.
Actually, I think it's kind of sweet.
I wanted to know if I could do it,
if I had the power, and I do.
We could have done anything together.
I love him.
And we're going to go all the way.
What are you doing?
Well, there's some wires under this thing
if you break it off.
You don't know how to do this, do you?
No, no, I have no idea.
Taxi! Taxi!
What the fuck, do you want me to run you over?
Yeah, just...
Hi, thanks for stopping.
My friend here needs a...
a smoke. Do you have a cigarette?
We're coming up on about 9:30.
And we've reached number 34
in The Top 500 Songs of All Time.
We can't stop the clock,
but we can make it go a little smoother.
Mr. Burton Cummings.
* Glamour boy *
* Get your costume on *
* You got 'em lined up waitin' for you *
* Glamour boy *
* You got 'em standing in the aisles *
* Don't hang 'em up *
* For $25,000 *
* You can look like a woman tonight *
* For $25,000 *
* I think it'll work out right *
* I think it'll work out *
* Uh-huh *
* I think it'll work out *
* You never know how you'll ride it *
* Think it'll work out *
* So spin with the archer *
* And laugh in his face *
* As he cocks his bow *
* Steal from his mistress *
* As she's makin' love to your family *
* And be aware *
* That there's not many there *
* Who want to take time to sing... *
Patrick, Patrick Wheeler.
HEY-
What a treat to see you today.
Right, Menzies.
This is a friend of mine from high school.
Yeah, absolutely. The old orange and blue.
Yeah, right. Is this your car?
You know, you're lucky I ran into you today.
Yeah, maybe.
Because I have two extra tickets for the concert tonight
that I would be honored to give you.
Great, so what concert is that?
The thing downtown?
You didn't hear? It's my concert.
I finally got my recital.
Tonight, 11:00 sharp,
Patroli Hall.
Really? That's really prestigious.
We all knew you had it in you.
I spent all day driving around, me and my cousin Ernie,
looking for a tux. Mine was ruined.
Show him the tux, Ernie.
Finally found one at Harry Rosen.
Harry Rosen of all places.
Right. Well, that's the thing.
My friend here needs a lift.
Uh-huh. Well, I guess we could drive her,
but it's only three blocks.
Right, but she's going across town.
Oh.
But if you're finished with the car...
Patrick, I need it,
at least until the show.
Ernie might have to run errands or load equipment.
You know how concerts are.
- Right. - I'd love to help you out,
and your friend... she looks like a movie star...
- but I only have one car. - Right.
I'm not like Craig Zwiller.
Well, good luck then. Break a leg.
Keep them in case you're in the neighborhood.
Patrick, I really appreciate all your help.
Aw, listen, my pleasure.
One second.
* I've been watching you *
* The way you move your sexy body... *
Yeah, what is it?
Craig, it's me, Patrick.
I have to ask you a favor.
What is it? I'm busy.
Let me in. It's important.
Everything is important today.
10 minutes.
What is all that stuff anyway?
Do you have to drag that around?
It's just some stuff we needed tonight.
Oh.
My husband and I are going to commit suicide.
We're going to kill each other at midnight.
Oh.
So...
I guess you really love him then.
Patrick Wheeler. Look at you.
You look like you're waiting for the principal, again.
Madame Carlton.
And what have you been up to, Patrick?
(speaking French )
You mean my job?
None were actually built.
It's the dream that counts. It's nice you can still remember.
Splendid.
Well, French was never your forte, Craig.
Au revoir, madame.
- Adieu. - Adieu.
Bon voyage.
Fuck off.
No, you can't have it.
- It's unfair to even ask. - Come on, man. It's not for me.
- All the more reason. - It was my car first.
Right. And now it's mine.
I bought it. It's been mine for over two years.
It's part of my thing.
Patrick, let's go. We can't force him.
Man, do something good.
Fuck off with that good shit.
Come on, let's go. I'll find another car. It's fine.
What are you doing, planning a road trip or something?
Because guess what? You don't have time.
Look I told you, it's not about that. It's not about utility.
You know what, I'm sorry. It's important.
I'm sorry we had to interrupt your last day. Let's go.
You have two others.
It's a collection. They're antique cars.
Two old cars is not a collection,
it's a guy with two old cars.
Take it. Bastard.
I knew you'd give in.
I wanted to die a man with three cars.
I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry. He's obviously fucked.
Thanks a lot, my dearest friend.
So, I'll walk you to the car.
I'm sure I can find it.
It's hard to miss. A 1970 lime-green Super-B,
overhead cams, dual exhaust. It was one of the first...
Not that you'll need to look under the hood.
- Thank you very much. Thank you. - You're welcome.
Thank you.
Sure you're gonna be all right? You don't need any help?
No, I better go.
Oh, no, Patrick...
What are you doing right now?
Right now? Going home, I guess.
If my husband calls,
tell him I'm coming.
So, not bad.
Not bad, eh? Mrs. Carlton.
No, I was referring to what's-her-name.
- Sandra. - Yeah, not bad.
Come on, don't be modest.
No, no. I barely know her.
- Even better, you dog. - No, no.
She's a stranger. I helped her find a car.
And that's it?
What's the matter with you?
I saw the way she was looking.
Women these days are ripe for the picking.
Well, I don't think that was an option here.
Are you kidding me?
They all want to go out with a bang.
Patrick, when was the last time you got...
some?
For one brief moment I thought you had
actually forgotten your tragedy.
Look, I'm not complaining. You don't have to...
I realize that what is one death,
compared to the fact that in under two hours
every living soul on earth is going to evaporate?
Well, I realize that. It just doesn't turn me on, you know?
If Karen were here, she would want you to be with other people, right?
If Karen was here? No, I don't think so.
But she liked people. You know what I mean?
She worked in a kindergarten, for fuck's sake.
Vitamins.
Listen, I appreciate your concern, but...
It's a question of perspective,
living while you can and maybe it's not too late.
I mean, most people are probably taken by now,
but if I were you I would get on the blower,
get on the Internet. That's what it's there for.
That's why they invented it.
Come here, I'll show you something.
One thing that this has proved to me,
you have to take life
in your own hands.
You have to fulfill your own destiny.
I'm sure there's things, Patrick, that you feel ripped off about.
Sure, I guess, but I'm pretty much over it now.
Take a look at this.
I tried to ask myself,
what did I want?
What were those experiences that I had hoped for
which were now just passing me by?
I made a list. I made a comprehensive list.
Then I went out
and I actively tried to meet those goals.
As you can see, it wasn't that hard.
Anal sex.
Can you believe it?
I had never given it to a woman up the ass before, you know?
I'm not afraid to say it now.
It's way past modesty at this point.
Red-head.
Black. Chinese.
Blind.
Uh-huh.
Sex outdoors.
Sex with a virgin.
See, it's split into different categories:
types of location; types of act;
type of woman.
- What about bestiality, you done that yet? - It's not on the list.
Just things I wanted to do, not every perversion.
Coercive sex?
Within limits.
- Menage-a-trois? - Oui.
Look, these are things I really believed in.
I had to look in my heart. Some of these things were hard to achieve.
Some of these things were hard to...
admit to.
But I'm proud of what I've done. I'm proud of what I've accomplished.
I'm not going to my grave with any regrets.
And all of this
since yesterday morning.
Oh yeah.
No. Two solid months.
It's not over yet.
I want to die having mutual orgasm.
Well, I better be going then.
See, that's a pretty basic fantasy.
I mean, if you gotta go...
Might as well be coming, right?
Hey, hey, hey. Patrick.
Look, I wasn't trying to show off.
Or try to make you feel inadequate.
I was showing you that as a friend and a buddy.
I was actually trying to inspire you.
Uh-huh.
Thank you.
Bring that bottle over here.
Drink up.
One and a half! Just one and a half!
One and a half hours!
You gonna be okay out there?
Yeah, sure. It's just a couple of blocks.
Yeah.
Can you do me one favor before you go?
- Sure. - Come in.
Patrick, have a seat.
I was trying to give you a hint up there
by showing you the list,
but I guess you don't read too well, right?
I forgot.
Huh?
Man, you're stupid.
Do you wanna have sex?
That was down at the bottom of the list.
I mean, there were certain acts that could only be done
with other men.
That doesn't necessarily include anal sex
'cause I already did that,
but, you know, there are other things. There's...
Right, right. I understand.
- Patrick, I like you and I always have. - And I like you too.
To be perfectly honest, I never thought of you that way.
I mean, but, that idea of sex
with other men,
you know, it crossed my mind,
as it has done with most of us, probably.
- Of course. - So, here's our chance.
I mean, you could do worse.
I thought you had a date.
I do.
So, we don't have much time.
It's not gonna take that long.
You've done this I don't know how many times today.
It's gonna take some time...
- Are you being judgmental? - No, I'm not.
There's no judgment here 'cause I don't have time for that.
- No, I'm not. - I'm putting myself on the line here.
And I'm flattered. I'm moved by it.
Don't fucking condescend to me.
I would do it if you asked me any other time.
I swear. If...
I always thought I should.
If you had given me some time to prepare psychologically,
and some time after... a couple months...
I knew it, you're a wuss.
It's nothing personal. It has nothing to do with you.
I would say the same thing to a woman.
It's just sex, today.
I just don't want to risk
having bad sex today.
Just don't want that to be the last thing on my mind.
And you think I'm fucked?
But I love you.
And I love you, pal.
Okay-
Mercy fuck your skinny ass? What was I thinking?
In your dreams, pal.
Get the fuck on home.
I forgot to mention I saw Menzies
just around the corner. I'm sure he'd be game.
- Oh really? Fuck off. - Okay, I will.
- See ya. - No you won't.
Good luck.
Fag.
Coming up on the last hour,
and we've reached number 12 on The Top 500 of Al'! Time,
according to me, right?
So don't bother calling in.
This time it's my choice.
* Did you know I go to sleep *
* And leave the lights on *
* Hoping you'd come by *
* And know that I was still awake? *
* But two years go by *
* And still my light's on *
* This is hard for me to say *
* But this is all *
* That I can take *
* It's the last song *
* I'll ever write for you... *
Hey, this is for pedestrians. Get out of the way.
Get off the car. Get off the car!
Oopsy.
Fore!
Hey! Bitch!
- Now you're walking. - Look at this.
Hey, hey baby.
Hey, where are you going?
Why don't you have some fun with us? Come on.
- Go away. - Come on, baby.
I don't think you understand the virtues of fun.
Why don't you have some fun with us? Come on.
- Leave me alone. - I just want you to have a little fun.
- I just want to go home. - I just want you to be happy.
- What? - Leave her alone.
- Let's go. - She doesn't want to party.
Thank you. I can handle it myself.
- Are you okay? - I've got a gun.
Okay-
Take care.
Yeah, I don't know. I'm waiting for him.
Hey, who was that?
- A lady. - Oh yeah?
Well thanks anyway. I thought it was a friend of my brother's.
He used to collect cars like that.
Fuck.
Come on. Let's go.
Where's this party anyway, huh?
Let's go.
Mom, come on. Let's go.
Ignore them, darling. Ignore them. Shh!
Come on! Mom!
Fighting, swearing, and tearing asunder
the monuments of civilization.
Closer to home, over 600 would-be rock stars
joined with Randy Bachman
in North York, for the world's largest guitar jam.
Here they are learning the chords
to "Taking Care of Business."
* Taking care of business and working overtime... *
A great song.
We now continue with our live coverage
from Nathan Phillip Square
where hundreds of thousands of people
are now converging to celebrate and to mourn.
Thanks again to Hank "the Hammer" Aletski
for braving the crowds.
And of course, to our own Terry Olan
who 3 manning the control board
and operating the camera,
basically, keeping me on the air.
You're doing a fantastic job, Terry.
A fantastic job, really. Take a bow.
Earlier on, for those who have been following...
we have an address from the Premier
and we still expect the Prime Minister to make an appearance on the stage.
What do you want?
Hey, nothing.
Come on, Marty, let's just go.
- Don't move. - Forget it. We gotta go downtown...
Shut up.
Come on, Marty, forget it. Let's just get out of here.
- Shut up. - Marty, we don't have time...
- Shut up. - Great, this is fantastic.
Shut up.
Look at me.
I'm not afraid of you.
I'm not afraid of what you can do.
You're the one who's afraid.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen
for coming out to my debut.
I hope you enjoy it
as much as I hope to enjoy it.
Well, I don't know, I was thinking
more like Bruckner or Beethoven.
Oh, come on. A little obvious.
No, that's for Christmas.
Yeah, that's for Christmas.
Tell her that's for Christmas
or for Easter.
I don't have a copy,
so it's pretty academic, really.
No, I told you, I'm feeling good.
I'm good.
I am in good spirits.
Well, I don't know what I sound like,
but I think I would know.
Um... Yep.
Hold on. Hold on a second.
Hello!
Patrick, open up, please.
It's me.
I gotta go, Dad. I'll call you later.
Yeah, I love you too.
Take the phone.
Did he call? Did he leave a message?
I don't know. I didn't check.
You can do that after.
Pick it up, please. Pick it up.
Hey, come on upstairs.
Good afternoon, Mr. Wheeler.
I'm calling from the gas company.
I hope you're doing well and spending these final hours
at peace with your loved ones.
Rest assured that we will make every effort
to keep the gas flowing right until the end.
Thank you. Goodbye.
Memory is full.
Message received at 5:53 pm.
Good afternoon, Mr. Wheeler.
I'm calling from the gas company.
I hope you're doing well and spending these final hours
at peace with your loved ones.
Rest assured that we will make every effort
to keep the gas flowing right until the end.
Thank you and goodbye.
Memory is full.
Message received at 5:53 pm.
He sounds like...
a nice person.
You can tell from his voice.
I'm..
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry.
I'm sure that whatever happened,
I'm sure that he tried to reach you.
He's obviously conscientious.
The machine was full, right?
So, I'm sure...
Patrick, I have to ask you a question. Feel free to say no.
Yes.
Yes, what?
Yes, you can stay.
You can spend the night, until the end.
I mean, even if he was there, your husband,
you wouldn't make it home on time.
It's past 11:00, and anyway, I want you to stay.
I've been thinking about it and it's not an imposition.
It's not like I want to have sex with you,
but I do feel like... I like you.
We made a connection.
I want us to be together.
I want you to shoot me.
Oh.
So, that was the question.
My husband and I made a promise
and I'm not backing down.
No matter where he is, I know it's what he's doing.
I'm not gonna let this world take my life.
I am not just gonna pass away.
At 12:00, I'm asking you to shoot me.
Well, I don't know...
if I can.
I'll shoot you, too.
Well, sit down
and make yourself at home.
We can discuss this. I mean...
Help me pick a record to play.
I mean, I hardly know you.
I mean, why, for instance,
did you choose this particular wine?
I don't know.
It's bad wine.
I don't care who it is. I think it's wonderful.
What's the big secret?
Did he sound happy?
Happy?
I guess so.
Happy to get off the phone.
Jennifer?
Hi. How are you? I'm calling like I said I would.
Good.
I just called, but it was busy. Were you on the phone?
Well, your brother just called and it turns out that there's a girl after all.
You gotta be joking. Who?
I don't know. You better ask your mother.
- Hi, honey. - Girl?
Now this is Christmas '79.
Oh, Chester. That crazy dog.
What a wild one.
No, I'm wrong.
It's still Jenny's birthday.
That women must have been cousin Martha
visiting from Regina.
Hello, darling.
Oh, there's a picture of you, Rose.
What a sour face.
I wonder how they're doing.
When did they think they were gonna watch all of this?
Barbeques,
open fires,
foreign food, and traveling.
I like to travel.
I've been to every continent,
except South America.
So, how was Antarctica?
And Antarctica.
But even there, I wish I had seen it, too.
Ice cream.
I guess it's pretty obvious.
No, no, it counts.
I could use some right now.
Strawberry ice cream, straight out of the package.
Sorry, I can't help you.
So, do you feel like you know me?
Better than anyone.
How about you?
Me. Okay.
Well, I was born here, in Toronto
and lived here all my life.
In North York, actually.
And my father was a stockbroker.
Okay, you better hurry up.
Tell me something to make me love you.
Oh.
Uh... okay.
Tell me your big tragedy.
What tragedy?
About the girl you loved who ran away or died.
She died.
It's pretty obvious.
Well, people die all over.
You have to put it into perspective.
Soon we all will.
Yeah. It's hard...
It's hard for me to explain this.
You would have to meet my family.
Well, she taught me how I could love.
How much.
It's a lot, actually.
Surprising, you would never believe it. Someone like me, but...
It's embarrassing, actually.
It's embarrassing for me to tell you this.
And to tell her, but...
she... she died,
and then they said the world would end.
I'm sorry.
She was sick.
Remember when people got sick,
and died one at a time?
It's not your fault.
That she died? I know.
That the world is ending.
Yeah. That too. I know.
I'm not that arrogant.
Tell me more. I want to love you.
It won't be hard.
That's about it.
That's my big story. It usually does the trick.
Okay. Tell me all the details.
All right.
It's hard on them.
It's hard on our children.
I think those little ones.
I don't give a damn.
People are always saying, "The children,
pity the children."
I'm tired of the children.
They haven't lived, given birth,
watched their friends die.
I have invested 80 years in this life.
The children don't know what they're missing.
Good point.
Well...
We should get ready.
Let me help you, Mother.
How do I know that you are what you say you are?
What do you mean?
I think you could tell.
Well, no, I've never had one before, so...
I'm a virgin.
Why would I lie?
People do. I would if I were in your place.
Yes, well...
I mean, if you were younger...
I think I better go.
Look, no. I mean,
you're beautiful.
I'd want to have you anyway.
So beautiful.
I mean, it's hard to believe you.
That was my point.
That's nice.
If you wanna drink, I have drinks.
No, that won't be necessary.
I think we better get to work.
15.
15 minutes.
In a way, I feel kind of privileged.
I mean, it's the biggest thing that ever happened.
And we're gonna be there.
I mean, no one was there to witness the beginning,
but we're gonna be there at the end.
Yes, it may be very beautiful.
Sure you don't want to see it for yourself?
It'll mean more coming from you.
Is there anything else I should get?
Get a clock?
I don't think we'll need one.
We should be able to hear the countdown from the street.
Yeah. Okay.
Let's go to the can, last chance, and make our final phone calls.
Let's take another look at the crowds of people
filling Nathan Phillip Square.
As I understand, they have become a little more rowdy,
although there are no major incidents to report.
Well, pop that champagne.
It's now officially 10 minutes
until the end of the world.
Out on the streets, the crowds are getting pretty wild.
This is crazy.
- I'm gonna stand up. - Okay, stand up.
Stand up and take a look. Can you see it?
Yeah.
What's the matter?
Nothing. Look, it's not you.
Well, what then? We don't have much time.
I had a busy day.
We've got 10 minutes, I'll be fine.
* Guantanamera *
* Guajira Guantanamera *
* Guantanamera *
* Guajira Guantanamera *
* Yo soy un hombre sincero... *
Wait till the last second.
How will I know?
You'll know.
How? It's never happened before.
How will I know?
We'll know.
It's too big.
Wait till you're certain.
God, it's times like this where I really miss the night.
* Guantanamera *
* Guajira Guantanamera *
* Mi verso es de un Verde claro *
- * Y de un carmin encendido * - Two minutes!
* Mi verso es de un Verde claro *
* Y de un carmin encendido... *
Call for your help.
* Guantanamera *
* Guajira Guantanamera *
* Guantanamera *
* Guajira Guantanamera *
* The words mean I am a truthful man *
* From the land of the palm trees *
* Before dying I want to share *
* These poems of my soul *
* The last verse says, "Con Los pobres de la tierra" *
* The streams of the mountain *
* Pleases me more than the sea *
* Guantanamera *
* Guajira Guantanamera *
* Guantanamera *
* Guajira Guantanamera *
* Guantanamera *
* Guajira Guantanamera... *
17...16...
15...
14...
13... 12..
11...
10... nine...
- It's over! - eight...
SEVEN...
six...
five...
four...
( silence )