- Sorry.
Excuse me.
Sorry to bother you.
Yes? - I'm lost.
It's my first time in New York, actually.
I never rode a subway before.
I got a little too excited
when they announced Times Square.
So, I jumped off, but left my bag behind.
Had my phone, wallet, everything in it.
Wasn't even my stop.
- I don't have any money, sorry.
- Oh, God, no, I don't need money.
Actually, my ATM card, it's at the hotel, with my computer,
so I can do the whole "Find my Phone" when I get back.
You know, the Cloud?
- What do you need?
- Right.
Can you help me?
- First time in New York, huh?
- Yeah.
- More like, first time out of the house.
You need the East Side.
- Can I get there walking?
- Or light jogging.
I don't know your rhythm.
- That's called mall walking, where I'm from.
It's, like, huge in my town.
- Where you from, 1985?
- You're funny.
You do that dry wit thing.
Very New York.
- Go four blocks east and you'll hit it, okay?
- And which way is east?
Kidding.
I do dry wit, too.
I'm not a complete idiot.
I needed your help.
You gave that to me, and for that I thank you,
but I never would've asked if you weren't so beautiful.
I mean, is that okay to say?
I don't mean it, like, offensively.
I'm not objectifying you, I'm just saying
it was a pleasure to receive your directions.
Thought you should know.
Heading east now.
- Hey, mall walker?
- Uh.
Joshua.
- You'll get lost.
I'll show you.
- Really?
Oh, thanks.
What's your name?
- Haven't decided yet.
- Dry wit.
I, I, I, I, I think that's east.
- I'm Veronica.
I live upstairs.
Wanna come up?
- Yes.
- Don't make me regret it.
Want a drink?
- Sure.
You have any pop?
Soda.
Where I'm from we call it pop.
Or is that illegal here?
Didn't New York pass a ban?
Or was that just Biggie size?
- I have alcohol.
Would you like alcohol or should I get you a juicebox?
- Alcohol is fine.
I drink.
So you live in a hotel?
- My family owned the unit when it was residential.
They can never kick me out.
Perks of being a true New Yorker.
- It's a really cool place.
Like, vintage, huh?
I mean, it's not dirty or anything, just looks old.
Lived in.
Your place has character.
- Sit down.
You like whiskey?
- I like everything,
except watermelon and cucumber.
But that's not what's happening right now.
What's happening right now is whiskey.
With you.
Veronica.
Cheers.
- Cheers.
Get up.
- We're gonna do it on the table?
I said,
"Get up."
Walk.
Move!
Up!
We can't have sex if you don't want to.
- I do, it's just so much right now.
- It helps if you really get in there.
Are you a virgin?
You're pathetic.
- Ah, the shirt stays on.
- Get on the bed.
Hello?
Hey.
Hello?
- Junk mail?
I swear, I get about 20 pounds of this shit a year.
And I get a ticket if I don't recycle, but this is okay.
- I need to get going.
- A flyer for an antique mall in Rhinebeck.
Where the fuck is Rhinebeck?
- Like I said, I need to get going.
- Remind me? - 800.
- She's all business.
- No wallet?
- I left it on the train with my cell and my bag.
- But your ATM card is at the hotel
and your computer can "Find Your Phone."
- You remembered.
- It's part of the job.
- Well, that's nice.
Thanks.
Well, it was a pleasure to meet you
and do that.
- Okay.
- You know, it only happens, like, once a year,
for my birthday, which is today.
- It's good to treat yourself.
- So, I guess that makes you my present.
- I'm not a present.
I'm a person.
- Oh, yeah, of course, I didn't mean it like that.
Now, I'm very sorry.
I thought it was you.
- Oh, my God.
- I don't feel so good.
- I'll call 911.
- It'll pass.
- You need a doctor. - I don't.
Go!
- Your eyes are fucking bleeding!
- All right.
Finally.
- Joshua.
- You stayed.
- How are you feeling?
- Like I'm levitating.
Are these tarps?
- It's all I could find.
You an outdoorsy dude?
- No, I had the walls done.
The painter left them behind.
Lucky me.
- Oh, I hope you don't mind, I made some tea.
I think this it's mint.
It's the only scent I recognized.
Want a cup?
- Not now.
I take some of that water, though.
- Be careful.
- For my homies.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you just choke me out,
punch me--
- I did.
- Judge my boner--
- Or lack thereof.
- This the same girl?
You know, I appreciate it, I really do.
You shouldn't have stayed.
- It's not every day you see blood gushing
from a man's eyes.
I wanna see how this ends.
- You will.
- I have some aspirin in my purse.
- Uh...
Another whiskey'd be better.
- When you can get up on your own, I'll pour you some.
- So, what do we do now?
- I could read to you?
- Uh, it's mostly historical books, biographies.
- And "Anne of Green Gables"?
- What can I say?
I love a red-headed orphan.
There's an Annie poster around here, somewhere.
Or not.
The mind's a little fuzzy right now.
Eyes of blood and such.
- Yeah.
What was that about?
- An allergic reaction, to the saffron.
- Huh?
- The stuff you put in my drink.
I didn't tell you what it was?
- No.
Your message said find the vial behind the whiskey
and pour it in your drink.
- What did you think it was?
- Not saffron.
- It's an organic aphrodisiac.
- Oh, well, if it's organic.
- I won't take Viagra.
It's like admitting you're officially old.
- How old are you?
- 400.
- What?
- 40.
Feels like 400.
- Oh, that's right.
Erm, happy birthday. - Oh.
Please, don't, it's too depressing.
Can I have that whiskey now?
- Can you get up?
- No.
Next question.
- Oh.
I don't know.
- Well, here's your chance to ask a John anything.
- Client.
"John" feels too anonymous.
- We wanna be anonymous.
- You can trust me.
I'm the keeper of many secrets.
- Wow, you sound like a sexy wizard.
- Comic book culture has opened up an entirely new market
to me.
- They save up all their IT bucks
to fuck a lady warrior?
- Or damsel.
Depends on the guy.
Mainly, they wanna show me their collections
and play with my tits.
They're sweet.
They ask if I'm okay.
Do we need a safe word?
Do I want a drink?
- Oh, like this?
- Did we have a safe word?
- It's whiskey.
Please, geeks and dragons?
I have earned it.
- Okay.
But I'm cutting it with water.
- All right.
You're the boss.
- Ah.
- Don't chug it like an asshole.
- Cheers. - Never cheer twice
in the same day.
It disrespects the gods.
- You're fucking with me.
- Numerology?
- Oh, God.
- Numbers play a huge part in our lives.
Who are you, a mere mortal, to praise yourself?
You're not a creator.
You're a creation.
Know your place.
I'm totally fucking with you, man.
- Are you an "aliens are real" and
"we have twins in an alternate universe" kind of gal?
- Aliens are real.
I've seen the footage.
- Okay.
- But, no, to twinsies.
I do think we have multiple souls in our bodies, though.
- Cool.
Thanks for the sip.
Bye.
- No.
Not me per se, it's just...
I don't know.
You believe in reincarnation?
- Yes.
- It's like that.
We're born with different parts of souls
that make up our personalities.
That's where instinct, deja vù,
things like that come from.
- So, if I have a mood swing,
it's a dormant soul wanting his "me" time?
Or if I think I've met you before, I actually have,
400 years ago, at a primitive family reunion?
- Never mind.
You don't get it.
Oh, I get it.
But I believe, no matter how many souls we might have,
we are born with a singular vision.
And when we find out what that is,
nothing and no one can stop us.
Wanna hear mine?
- Sure.
- To finish this drink!
- You're fuckin' weird, dude.
- Coming from the chick with extra souls in her, great.
- What's with the red tubs in your fridge?
- Blood.
Duh.
- It's beet juice.
Well, beet juice and kale and some other bullshit.
Vitamin crap.
- You on a juice cleanse?
- Nah.
I hate food.
Like, the actual selecting and chewing and cooking of it.
If I could take a pill, I would,
but I can't, so I drink my meals.
- So, you're saying you don't eat?
- Not if I can help it.
The only solid food I like is popcorn.
- Yeah, that was in there, too.
- Yeah.
When it's cold it lasts longer.
Plus, I don't even have the dishes to make a meal.
- Maybe that's why your eyes bled.
You need to fucking eat.
- I know what my body needs, thank you very much.
Solid food is not one of them.
- What?
- I need to ask you something.
- We're having a good time, right?
- Sure.
- Let that be enough.
- Okay.
Nah, I'm still asking.
- And, here, I thought you were different.
- You don't know what I'm gonna say.
- Sure, I do.
The same thing they all ask: "Why do you do this?
"Why are you a sex worker?
"Let me help you."
I hear this bullshit all the time.
- Dudes are concerned. - No, they're not.
They had the best sex in their lives
and they don't wanna keep paying for it.
- Mm, good point.
- So they think they're thoughtful with their kind words
and somehow they're gonna make me their girlfriend.
Or maybe not their girlfriend
but certainly a woman that waits by the phone longing
for their compassionate cock.
Because that's what every woman wants,
to be valued by a man.
I do it for the money.
I like nice things.
Why you like getting choked?
- I like to disconnect.
It feels better when I cum.
You think love is overrated?
- Love?
No.
Sex?
Yes.
- Really? - Sure.
It's an activity, nothing more.
- Uh, like, mall walking?
- No, like crocheting.
- Huh? - Think about it.
You do all this work with the knots and the hooks,
building up your stitches, and the closer you get,
the more excited you become.
And you work harder and faster,
and when you finish, you have this priceless,
one of a kind experience you created.
And then you move on to your next bag.
That's all sex is.
It's not love.
It's a hobby.
- So, making love, you don't like that, either?
- Mm.
Ugh, I hate that phrase.
It creeps me out.
- "Celestial" does it for me.
Ugh, what a wet word.
"Celestial."
Ugh, gross!
- You're an idiot.
- Making love is a beautiful thing.
- It turns an orgasm into an obligation.
Save the love for the important stuff.
- Hey, now, sex is important.
- So is exercise.
And voting.
And eating solid foods.
But to truly love someone?
That's not sex.
The only person I ever loved was my grandma.
And you?
It's obvious the true love of your life is your mother.
Most men, it's the same thing.
I take away their power, make them feel inadequate
and punish them for being bad boys.
Because their first crush was mommy
and they hate themselves for it.
We fall in love with the people who raise us.
And we should.
But don't let that cloud your desires
because you were taught sex equals love.
It doesn't.
- Maybe that's the case with your dragon dudes,
but I don't wanna fuck my mother.
I want to save her.
- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
- Yeah, well, it's been an unexpected day.
Wait!
- I should go.
- I'll be right back.
You're too early!
- I wrote it down in the book.
Two o'clock.
- I told you I'd be right back!
I'm that boring?
- What's going on?
- You tell me.
You fell asleep.
I mean, I get it.
Dudes talk about mom, chicks check out.
But full on dream time?
Ouch!
- Someone else was here.
- Yeah, my aunt.
She thought I was at work.
She let herself in.
She went on vacation and borrowed my suitcase.
- But I heard yelling.
- I'm sure you did.
I used this suitcase once.
It's got fucking baglady wear and tear.
There was yelling, for sure.
- No.
Someone else was here in this room.
- Just us.
I don't even have a roommate.
Was it the numerology gods?
Ooh.
- You hear that?
- It's me.
Well, not me, my favorite show.
Favorite's pushing it, but I love true crime.
I'm watching "Second Marriage Murders."
- What?
- I didn't wanna wake you.
Guess I gave you nightmares instead.
Sorry.
I also like "Housewife Horrors," "Killer Nurses,"
most reenactment shows.
Usually, the man is up to no good
and the woman's out for revenge.
I'm stuck in a black widow spiral right now.
I'm watching one where this guy gets slaughtered
by three sisters over his lottery ticket.
Yikes!
Wanna see?
- No.
It's best I probably go.
- One more drink?
For scaring you?
Please?
- A quick one.
- Only kind I like.
These sisters are crazy.
I'll take five bucks for it.
- Oh, fuck!
You scared me.
- I need to stop doing that.
- I'll stick with the tea.
- Hmm, more for me.
- Uh, you want the chair?
- Oh, no.
I prefer this.
- What's so hot about down there?
- It's more authentic.
Makes me feel like I'm part of the space.
Join me.
- On the floor?
- Yeah, may sound hippydippy, but connecting with the base
of your home is a refreshing perspective.
When we became land animals,
we used the ground for everything we needed.
We didn't start out on chairs and beds.
And then shoes were invented.
I blame shoes for the downfall of humanity.
You know, if our feet can't sense danger,
how do we know when it's coming?
- You lost me at hippydippy.
- Oh, there's that New York wit.
- Lots of exciting things coming off this floor.
- I know.
- Thoughts,
vibrations,
popcorn.
Oh.
So, I understood about
none of what you just said.
- It happens.
- But the bare feet thing, I get it.
- Aaow!
- When I was a kid, my grandma had a birthday
at a roller rink.
We lived for an all-skate.
- Your grandma skated with you?
- Of course.
She was legendary.
Well, I was pretty good, too, with the tricks and turns.
I mean, we were at the rink all the time.
She taught me everything.
But I wanted to do something special:
an original skate, just for her.
- Aw.
- But I didn't own any skates.
I rented from the rink, so the practice I had to do
with them bare feet.
This is where I support your theory.
- Am I ready for this?
- This motion will work easy on a wheel.
Throw in some arms and a shoulder.
How about a sleeping prayer?
I was looking tight.
And when the party came, skates went on.
It looked more like this.
Mm, ah, ah, huh.
The skates fucked up my show!
Grandma didn't care.
She said it was the best rolling she'd ever seen.
I miss her.
- Teach me the routine.
- Do you have the strength to fake-skate?
- I do, I do.
- How's your balance?
- Oh, I can do tree pose.
Sort of.
- I'll only teach you the chorus.
The verses are too experimental.
Ready?
- Yes.
- Ah, it was to Grandma's favorite song, "It Had To Be You."
That wasn't tea.
Stay calm.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
- What's happening?
- I don't wanna say.
- Help me.
- This isn't your house!
Who makes tea without asking?
I knew when you said mint, you used my Carolina jasmine,
which is an herb, not a tea, that causes...
Well, you know, this!
I can't let you go now.
You're a liar.
And a tattletale.
People can't know about me.
- I won't tell.
- You ratted out the dorks who pay you
to treat them like dragon slayers.
You tell some John about me...
Sorry, client, eh, eh, eh...
Before you know it, I'm all over social media.
- Doesn't work like that.
- Well, you'd know, you fucking gossip!
When you can move on your own, he'll start.
I won't let him hurt you like this.
I'm giving you to my dad.
Let's use the tarps!
That was a great idea.
I get to help you now.
I hate owing people.
That's been my whole life.
Take a little.
For the nerves.
Helps mine.
Oh, oh.
Waste not want not.
For when you feel better.
You were gonna drug me again.
Saw where I kept my money and rob me.
After this great conversations?
The things I shared with you?
I have feelings, too, you know.
- So do I.
- We're not talking about you!
We're talking about me!
I paid you for a wish.
You drug me.
You choke me.
You leave.
The saffron was gonna kill me.
You don't stay.
You leave.
Why did you stay?
- Sorry.
- This is your fault!
- Let me go.
- I can't.
Oh, I want to, but I can't.
- Yes, you can.
- It's him, Veronica.
It isn't me.
I don't want to tell her.
I don't want her to know.
Don't make me say it!
I'm an abomination.
My mother lived a long time ago.
To the people in her village, she was a mystic,
a seer,
a healer.
She was so lonely.
No man would have her.
The kind of power she held,
it welcomed darkness into her life.
What's more dangerous than thinking you're a god?
- Shoes.
- Yes!
Fuck shoes!
Get right with the earth!
I wish we met under different circumstances.
We could've been great friends.
- We still can.
- Are you even listening?
Your lies don't work on me.
When I tell you I have seen it all,
I have fucking seen it all.
I can't die.
May I continue, please?
All my mother wanted was a child.
So she called him Madua Muz, an evil water spirit.
But tomato, tomatoe.
Okay, okay!
No more jokes!
I'll finish the story.
He gave my mother me.
And, in exchange, she promised to give him a sacrifice
for every year he allowed me to live.
I was born from the water where she led men to their deaths.
My blood is their fury, my bones their fear.
I am their eternal damnation.
But to Mom I was just a baby,
her baby,
to love
forever.
Saffron cleanses the soul from impurities.
All newborns were bathed in it, like a christening.
But not what I am.
Saffron can't fix that.
My skin turned yellow.
My eyes bled.
I was dying.
Until Daddy appeared.
He touched my face and I came back to life.
My existence was her weakness.
No one could know about me.
So she hid me away.
I had nothing!
No friends!
No skills!
No chance at a real life!
I was her secret for 40 years, and I hated her for it.
Daddy appeared to me again.
He gave me a choice,
the first choice of my life:
kill myself and break Mom's heart,
or take her life
and become immortal.
I wanna go outside!
I wanna feel the sun!
I wanna live!
So I killed her!
I put my hands around her throat and I choked her!
I did it!
- You're insane.
- I'm not, he is!
Every year, on my birthday, he says he'll bring her back.
Well, not her, like, a reincarnated doesn't know
she's my Mom version, her soul in somebody else.
If I find her, I get to do the deal again.
My life for hers.
If I'm wrong, he gets his yearly sacrifice.
Mom should live, not me.
I can't hurt anyone anymore.
I thought you were her!
- Why?
- Your message.
It said you make miracles out of worthless men.
That's the last thing she said to me before I killed her.
When we do this again, you run.
The saffron will work.
Let me die.
You're her, I know it.
- Shit.
Help.
- It's a lot to take in, I know.
- Help.
Help. - Whoa!
What's going on?
- Get the fuck away from me!
Where are my clothes?
- In here, in the living room.
Cover with this.
- Stay back.
- I don't know what you think happened,
but you tripped and hit your head.
Then I carried you in here.
You've been out for a few hours.
You'll sure get the money, that's not a problem.
You know what, take, take, take a grand.
I don't want you leaving here thinking I'm some sick fuck.
I was trying to help you.
I'm sorry I scared you.
- I fell?
- Tripped.
Over me.
I didn't expect you to shove me up the stairs,
which was the type of abuse I wanted,
but my core is total shit and I landed on my face.
Then you landed on my back and hit your head.
I used to be into ambulance chaser fantasies,
you know, I'd hire a girl to fake-choke,
give her CPR, she'd reward me with sex.
So I thought maybe I requested the wrong thing,
but you wouldn't wake up.
I didn't call 911 because I don't want them
to know why you're here.
I've never been arrested.
I don't know your history with the cops.
I say no to jail time.
- No!
I can't take your money.
- Oh, no, that's yours.
You're taking it.
- No. - Yes.
I insist.
- All right then.
- She's taking the money.
- On one condition.
- Whatever you want.
- Give me a do-over.
- A do-over?
Like, sex for real?
Or is this dry wit?
- Yes,
sex for real.
- When?
I'm out of town the rest of the week, but maybe next Monday?
- How about now?
- Well, sure, but...
Can we, like, start from the beginning?
You know, like, I'll meet you at the restaurant,
and I'm lost and stuff?
- Sure.
Meet you in 15 minutes.
Okay?
- Oh, wait.
Your key.
- A drink?
What do you like?
- Well, I'd take another latte.
That really hit the spot.
- I have alcohol.
You want alcohol?
- Oh, when in Rome.
- Sit down.
- Oh, yeah.
Sure.
- You like whiskey?
- I like everything, except liars and tattletales.
Oh, but that's not what's happening right now.
What's happening right now is whiskey.
With you.
Veronica.
Cheers.
- Cheers.
Get up.
- Getting my do-over.
- Now.
- I'm up.
- Walk.
Move!
Get up, you pussy.
What the fuck even is that?
Are you even a man?
- I am.
The shirt stays on.
- Get on the bed.
- Good God.
Wow.
- Okay, I'll get going.
- Want another drink?
- I have another appointment in a few hours.
- Sure, I understand.
- Maybe a quick drink?
- Only kind I like.
- Allow me.
- Moving in, I see.
- What?
- Acts like she owns me.
Nice.
- That's what you paid for.
Should we cheers?
- And disrespect the numerology gods?
Are you crazy?
- What?
- That
shit you talked about earlier,
something about you can't cheers twice in one day
'cause you'll look like an asshole in front of the gods.
- I thought I dreamed that.
- Well, you did, you told me about it,
the dream that you had when you fell.
- No.
- You remember where I keep the good whiskey
but you can't remember your dream?
- I remember my dream.
I don't remember telling you about it.
- Well, you did.
So, should we cheer?
Or give the gods their respect?
- Cheers.
Thanks.
- Hold on, Veronica.
I mean, you don't have to tell me.
I, I, I, I respect your privacy, and everything about you,
really, but is Veronica your real name?
- No.
- Well, can you tell me what it is?
You know, for my memory bank.
- Genevieve.
- Wow!
That is way better than Veronica.
- Not when everybody calls you Jenny or Gene.
- I'd never do that.
- You okay?
- Genevieve.
Run!
- Grab, grab on me.
- You should've believed me.
A little bit longer?
This one was different.
Mummy.