0 00:00:13,449 --> 00:00:18,060 ♪ Come with me ♪ 1 00:00:18,061 --> 00:00:23,061 ♪ Don't walk alone ♪ 2 00:00:25,371 --> 00:00:28,788 ♪ Everybody needs a soul ♪ 3 00:00:38,509 --> 00:00:43,509 ♪ This life we live ♪ 4 00:00:45,972 --> 00:00:48,639 ♪ We walk alone ♪ 5 00:01:28,995 --> 00:01:30,095 I heard a story of a woman 6 00:01:30,096 --> 00:01:34,318 who turned her husband's ashes to diamonds. 7 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:38,569 I thought to myself, she must really love that man. 8 00:01:39,442 --> 00:01:41,609 Who would do such a thing? 9 00:01:51,104 --> 00:01:54,639 But I'm not the one to speak from experience. 10 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:55,769 I know nothing about love 11 00:01:55,770 --> 00:01:58,161 and I know if I had all the money in the world, 12 00:01:58,162 --> 00:02:01,495 I'd gladly do the same thing over again. 13 00:02:20,158 --> 00:02:24,265 The only thing I regret is that I didn't piss on her ashes 14 00:02:24,266 --> 00:02:27,016 before I flushed down the toilet. 15 00:03:22,308 --> 00:03:26,641 That ain't gon' feel that void in your heart, boy. 16 00:04:38,870 --> 00:04:43,037 Carl, I know what. 17 00:06:14,671 --> 00:06:17,024 This is a story of a child, 18 00:06:17,025 --> 00:06:21,057 perhaps in influence, perhaps in clone personifications. 19 00:06:21,058 --> 00:06:23,391 That child only wanted love. 20 00:06:24,413 --> 00:06:27,691 That child ventured far with an empty satchel and a jar 21 00:06:27,692 --> 00:06:31,238 hoping for answers to a delicate question, 22 00:06:31,239 --> 00:06:32,322 what is love? 23 00:06:44,929 --> 00:06:47,876 Across the lane, he heard drunken sorrows 24 00:06:47,877 --> 00:06:51,460 of how love can be bought or even borrowed. 25 00:06:52,313 --> 00:06:56,822 That child gave up, discarding the contents of his satchel 26 00:06:56,823 --> 00:07:00,540 and emptying the water from his jar. 27 00:07:00,541 --> 00:07:05,169 The child drifted the lands, looking for purpose to live. 28 00:07:05,170 --> 00:07:08,441 Sometimes, things are just the way they are, 29 00:07:08,442 --> 00:07:10,627 completely beyond our control. 30 00:07:25,423 --> 00:07:27,663 What are we looking at here for? 31 00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:29,781 Why are you not at the street working? 32 00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:31,823 It's, Don. 33 00:07:31,824 --> 00:07:34,281 That's bullshit, Tammy and you know that. 34 00:07:34,282 --> 00:07:38,726 You can bullshit the other girls but you cannot bullshit me. 35 00:07:38,727 --> 00:07:40,962 I just don't feel good today, Don. 36 00:07:40,963 --> 00:07:42,327 I've seen the cars up and down the street 37 00:07:42,328 --> 00:07:44,952 all night long, Tammy. 38 00:07:44,953 --> 00:07:47,021 It's not good look for you. 39 00:07:47,022 --> 00:07:49,658 Tammy, how you supposed to attract prominent businessman 40 00:07:49,659 --> 00:07:52,090 sitting in stairwell of hotel? 41 00:07:52,091 --> 00:07:55,171 I'm going to send somebody your way, okay? 42 00:07:55,172 --> 00:07:57,369 Get yourself cleaned up in five minutes. 43 00:07:57,370 --> 00:07:59,453 Don, I don't feel good. 44 00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:04,973 You got five minutes to clean yourself up, five minutes. 45 00:08:04,974 --> 00:08:07,157 You have no choice, Tammy. 46 00:08:07,158 --> 00:08:08,755 It's five minutes. 47 00:08:08,756 --> 00:08:11,540 Get yourself back in front of the hotel. 48 00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:16,850 Reality becomes the laugh 49 00:08:16,851 --> 00:08:19,513 and I play along because maybe it's easy to live a fantasy 50 00:08:19,514 --> 00:08:23,764 in your mind because, man, reality is so fucked up. 51 00:08:27,459 --> 00:08:29,473 Look what I've become. 52 00:08:55,596 --> 00:08:57,282 A man I knew from way back told me 53 00:08:57,283 --> 00:09:00,534 to never make rash decisions when angry 54 00:09:00,535 --> 00:09:01,560 but what rule is there 55 00:09:01,561 --> 00:09:05,728 when a person is far beyond the barriers of anger? 56 00:09:41,105 --> 00:09:46,105 The same man told me that overindulgence is a disease 57 00:09:46,136 --> 00:09:49,719 because the mental structure is unbalanced. 58 00:09:56,629 --> 00:10:00,629 He describes it as a missing pieces of a puzzle. 59 00:10:08,225 --> 00:10:09,225 Go figure. 60 00:10:10,173 --> 00:10:12,188 I told him I wasn't born with a full picture. 61 00:10:12,189 --> 00:10:14,772 So yeah, I tend to overindulge. 62 00:10:20,716 --> 00:10:21,549 Then I regretted 63 00:10:21,550 --> 00:10:25,466 because that's when the demon seemed to emerge. 64 00:10:40,427 --> 00:10:42,427 I envy those that dream, 65 00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:46,960 wishes of life changing expectations in me. 66 00:10:57,833 --> 00:11:02,250 I just really want to forget everything and everyone. 67 00:11:45,740 --> 00:11:47,247 You ever been so immersed in a dream 68 00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:49,065 that you never wanted to wake? 69 00:11:49,066 --> 00:11:51,784 Well, it don't really matter 70 00:11:51,785 --> 00:11:53,358 because eventually you wake up in a world 71 00:11:53,359 --> 00:11:57,859 that's so full of rat and shit, in my world, at least. 72 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,859 What's the use of dreaming anyway? 73 00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:03,564 Motherfucking, God damn it. 74 00:12:03,565 --> 00:12:05,473 Tammy, wake up. 75 00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:08,671 Why are you not outside working? 76 00:12:08,672 --> 00:12:09,755 Hey, wake up! 77 00:12:11,649 --> 00:12:13,000 Why are you not outside? 78 00:12:13,001 --> 00:12:14,588 I'm not working today, Don. 79 00:12:14,589 --> 00:12:15,589 Oh, that? 80 00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:18,384 You're working tonight, Tammy. 81 00:12:18,385 --> 00:12:20,510 What I tell you're not doing is sitting in here 82 00:12:20,511 --> 00:12:22,052 up all night. 83 00:12:22,053 --> 00:12:24,258 That's what you're not going to do. 84 00:12:24,259 --> 00:12:26,303 Now you get yourself cleaned up. 85 00:12:26,304 --> 00:12:28,240 I don't care what you have to take, 86 00:12:28,241 --> 00:12:30,788 what you have to drink, what you have to snort 87 00:12:30,789 --> 00:12:32,348 but you get yourself cleaned up 88 00:12:32,349 --> 00:12:35,739 and get outside of this fucking hotel in 15 minutes 89 00:12:35,740 --> 00:12:38,690 or you and I have big, fucking problem. 90 00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:41,435 I don't want your drugs anymore, Don. 91 00:12:41,436 --> 00:12:42,656 I'm done with that shit. 92 00:12:42,657 --> 00:12:44,229 Is that a threat? 93 00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:45,527 You have a pretty nice place here, 94 00:12:45,528 --> 00:12:48,372 pretty soft bed to lay on. 95 00:12:48,373 --> 00:12:50,951 Who do you think makes all this possible? 96 00:12:50,952 --> 00:12:52,869 Fucking me, that's who! 97 00:12:53,995 --> 00:12:57,139 It's a lot better than prison bed, huh? 98 00:12:57,140 --> 00:12:58,843 It's very simple, honey. 99 00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:01,118 You either work the streets 100 00:13:01,119 --> 00:13:03,178 or you get back out into the streets. 101 00:13:03,179 --> 00:13:05,584 I just don't feel good, that's all, okay? 102 00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:08,080 I don't think you understand what I'm saying to you. 103 00:13:08,081 --> 00:13:12,760 There is no days off for people like you, Tammy. 104 00:13:12,761 --> 00:13:15,174 You don't get to sit here and do nothing all day. 105 00:13:15,175 --> 00:13:16,920 You can't afford it. 106 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:20,610 Now, get yourself ready in 15 minutes and get out there. 107 00:13:20,611 --> 00:13:24,446 Okay, and what have you given up, Don? 108 00:13:24,447 --> 00:13:27,590 What sacrifices have you had to make? 109 00:13:27,591 --> 00:13:29,421 Do you have any idea what it's like 110 00:13:29,422 --> 00:13:31,338 to get your soul ripped out your fucking body 111 00:13:31,339 --> 00:13:32,299 every fucking night? 112 00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:36,216 No, I do not, Tammy but you are the only girl 113 00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:41,384 that I let talk to me that way, Tammy. 114 00:13:42,557 --> 00:13:45,780 I do not know what that feels like 115 00:13:45,781 --> 00:13:49,031 and quite frankly, I don't give a shit. 116 00:13:51,435 --> 00:13:56,435 You have 15 minutes to get yourself outside of this hotel 117 00:13:56,739 --> 00:14:01,406 and back to work or you and I have big, fucking problem. 118 00:14:06,401 --> 00:14:09,901 15 minutes, Tammy or big, fucking problem. 119 00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:15,034 Fuck! 120 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:33,356 At some point, 121 00:14:33,357 --> 00:14:37,690 this miserable, poisonous existence has an end game. 122 00:14:38,571 --> 00:14:43,488 The choices are clear as day, voluntarily or involuntarily. 123 00:15:17,519 --> 00:15:20,830 Perhaps life has a way of forcing change, 124 00:15:20,831 --> 00:15:22,998 whether we want it or not. 125 00:15:57,465 --> 00:15:58,948 It was mother dream to have her ashes 126 00:15:58,949 --> 00:16:01,014 thrown into the Atlantic, 127 00:16:01,015 --> 00:16:04,058 at least that's what the nurses said. 128 00:16:04,059 --> 00:16:07,178 She thought it would bring her peace. 129 00:16:07,179 --> 00:16:09,929 Easier said that done, I suppose. 130 00:16:10,893 --> 00:16:14,884 The truth is, nothing could have brought her peace, 131 00:16:14,885 --> 00:16:18,885 not even the child who did nothing but love her. 132 00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:48,996 Truth is running from the things 133 00:16:48,997 --> 00:16:51,014 that cripple you emotionally 134 00:16:51,015 --> 00:16:55,848 is just prolonging the inevitable, a wound left untreated. 135 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:11,320 I'm just tired of running. 136 00:17:16,823 --> 00:17:18,990 Oh my God, I'm so sorry. 137 00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:20,348 You do this to me, huh? 138 00:18:33,708 --> 00:18:36,875 I swear. 139 00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:14,468 Just do it. 140 00:19:20,197 --> 00:19:23,947 People like us ain't supposed to live anyway. 141 00:19:25,775 --> 00:19:27,442 Just do it, already. 142 00:19:40,581 --> 00:19:41,581 Just do it. 143 00:19:44,465 --> 00:19:47,860 Sometimes it's hard to determine what is reality 144 00:19:47,861 --> 00:19:49,111 and what's not. 145 00:19:50,475 --> 00:19:53,112 Perhaps I'm always in a state of intoxication 146 00:19:53,113 --> 00:19:55,363 to forget about my reality. 147 00:19:56,258 --> 00:19:59,508 The past always has a way of resurfacing 148 00:19:59,509 --> 00:20:01,211 in some kind of way. 149 00:20:19,869 --> 00:20:21,542 May I help you with something? 150 00:20:21,543 --> 00:20:25,210 Well, I was hoping I could help you with something. 151 00:20:25,211 --> 00:20:28,032 There's nothing that you have that I want, 152 00:20:28,033 --> 00:20:30,111 so don't even waste your time. 153 00:20:30,112 --> 00:20:32,282 You ain't even heard what I'm offering yet. 154 00:20:32,283 --> 00:20:34,296 And it's not too hard to tell what you're selling 155 00:20:34,297 --> 00:20:36,865 and I'm telling you, I'm not interested. 156 00:20:36,866 --> 00:20:37,699 Look, man. 157 00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:39,063 I'm just a little desperate here. 158 00:20:39,064 --> 00:20:41,600 I'm not trying to beg you on nothing but I just... 159 00:20:41,601 --> 00:20:42,434 Come on, man. 160 00:20:42,435 --> 00:20:43,965 Sounds to me like you're begging. 161 00:20:43,966 --> 00:20:45,230 That ain't my problem. 162 00:20:45,231 --> 00:20:48,557 Fuck you then, man. 163 00:20:48,558 --> 00:20:49,725 Piece of shit. 164 00:21:02,727 --> 00:21:05,560 Well, what you waiting for, boy? 165 00:21:13,890 --> 00:21:15,723 Get it over with, boy! 166 00:21:27,701 --> 00:21:29,118 Get it over with. 167 00:21:40,753 --> 00:21:43,003 No, she is not gonna win. 168 00:21:45,159 --> 00:21:46,159 She's not. 169 00:22:18,519 --> 00:22:20,271 Man, I thought I made myself clear. 170 00:22:20,272 --> 00:22:23,652 You really look like you can use some company, darling. 171 00:22:23,653 --> 00:22:24,654 No, I don't. 172 00:22:24,655 --> 00:22:25,900 Just get the fuck outta here. 173 00:22:25,901 --> 00:22:26,980 Come on, man. 174 00:22:26,981 --> 00:22:28,898 Just hear me out, okay? 175 00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:33,309 Oh, man. 176 00:22:40,813 --> 00:22:44,396 Not bad. 177 00:22:51,248 --> 00:22:53,004 What's wrong with you? 178 00:22:53,005 --> 00:22:55,008 Ain't you ever been with a woman before? 179 00:22:55,009 --> 00:22:58,450 I told you that isn't what I want from you. 180 00:22:58,451 --> 00:23:00,451 You haven't, have you? 181 00:23:02,445 --> 00:23:04,264 Oh, well don't worry. 182 00:23:04,265 --> 00:23:06,213 Your little secret is safe with me. 183 00:23:08,061 --> 00:23:10,944 What is it, want money? 184 00:23:10,945 --> 00:23:12,399 Is that it? 185 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,830 Well, I'm not here for the engaging conversation. 186 00:23:14,831 --> 00:23:15,664 I see. 187 00:23:15,665 --> 00:23:19,497 Let me pay you for this engaging conversation. 188 00:23:29,181 --> 00:23:30,562 What are you afraid of? 189 00:23:30,563 --> 00:23:33,563 Nothing, I just don't wanna drink. 190 00:23:35,125 --> 00:23:37,762 Then tell me, what's the going rate 191 00:23:37,763 --> 00:23:40,702 for an honest conversation these days? 192 00:23:40,703 --> 00:23:44,061 I mean, sometimes people just need someone to talk to, 193 00:23:44,062 --> 00:23:45,874 someone to be honest with you. 194 00:23:45,875 --> 00:23:47,632 Why you don't go to therapy? 195 00:23:47,633 --> 00:23:50,466 Obviously, you're a lot cheaper. 196 00:23:51,956 --> 00:23:55,123 Whatever, okay, how long do we talk? 197 00:23:59,333 --> 00:24:01,984 How much time did I buy? 198 00:24:01,985 --> 00:24:04,402 About an hour, if that's... 199 00:24:06,377 --> 00:24:10,512 All I want is a conversation, I don't like to be touched. 200 00:24:10,513 --> 00:24:13,200 Okay, all right fine. 201 00:24:13,201 --> 00:24:14,534 Let's talk then. 202 00:24:15,671 --> 00:24:18,004 I take it you not from here. 203 00:24:19,561 --> 00:24:21,078 No, I'm not. 204 00:24:21,079 --> 00:24:22,770 Where you from? 205 00:24:22,771 --> 00:24:26,688 Nowhere, I guess you could say I'm a drifter. 206 00:24:27,829 --> 00:24:29,960 Never really had a place to call home. 207 00:24:29,961 --> 00:24:33,044 - Like a gypsy? - Something like that. 208 00:24:37,249 --> 00:24:38,720 I knew you was gonna reach for that drink. 209 00:24:38,721 --> 00:24:41,490 You might wanna slow down on that, big boy. 210 00:24:41,491 --> 00:24:44,256 All right, since we having a conversation, 211 00:24:44,257 --> 00:24:46,038 where are you from? 212 00:24:46,039 --> 00:24:48,845 Nowhere, just like you. 213 00:24:48,846 --> 00:24:52,429 I just been running and working the streets 214 00:24:53,777 --> 00:24:55,232 since I could remember 215 00:24:55,233 --> 00:24:59,150 and I can't remember a home, even if I had one. 216 00:25:00,641 --> 00:25:02,808 How did you get started? 217 00:25:04,057 --> 00:25:07,974 I was running to and from something and well, 218 00:25:13,121 --> 00:25:16,821 I ran into this, this beautiful disaster. 219 00:25:18,148 --> 00:25:21,760 Yeah, I mean, that's a nice way of putting it. 220 00:25:21,761 --> 00:25:24,344 Why live when we aren't living? 221 00:25:25,247 --> 00:25:27,368 I've been asking myself that a lot lately. 222 00:25:27,369 --> 00:25:29,316 Yeah, but I mean, we still here, you know what I'm saying? 223 00:25:29,317 --> 00:25:31,850 So gotta be a reason why, right? 224 00:25:31,851 --> 00:25:33,268 Waste of space? 225 00:25:34,397 --> 00:25:37,230 Nah, there's always hope, right? 226 00:25:39,485 --> 00:25:41,938 Maybe for you, not for me 227 00:25:41,939 --> 00:25:43,550 but what if you could start over, 228 00:25:43,551 --> 00:25:48,023 just make a clean break of it, would you do it? 229 00:25:49,870 --> 00:25:53,037 Child, I ain't got no choice but to. 230 00:25:56,095 --> 00:25:58,358 See, this is a box of my mother's remains. 231 00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:02,156 It was always a dream of hers to visit the Atlantic ocean 232 00:26:02,157 --> 00:26:03,518 but you see, the irony of it is 233 00:26:03,519 --> 00:26:06,770 is that I'm willing to sacrifice so much 234 00:26:06,771 --> 00:26:10,216 for someone who does nothing for me 235 00:26:10,217 --> 00:26:12,306 but none of that matters anymore. 236 00:26:12,307 --> 00:26:14,466 Once the deed is done, so am I. 237 00:26:14,467 --> 00:26:16,300 What does that mean? 238 00:26:19,183 --> 00:26:23,708 If I paid you $10,000 right now, would you accompany me? 239 00:26:23,709 --> 00:26:25,292 - Wait. - It's real. 240 00:26:31,956 --> 00:26:35,124 You're trying to pay me $10,000 to go to the ocean? 241 00:26:35,125 --> 00:26:37,735 - Correct. - Is this a joke? 242 00:26:37,736 --> 00:26:39,610 - No, it's not. - Where the camera's at? 243 00:26:39,611 --> 00:26:42,705 No, but there is something I would need for you 244 00:26:42,706 --> 00:26:43,836 to do for me though. 245 00:26:43,837 --> 00:26:46,337 Here it is, and what's that? 246 00:26:50,922 --> 00:26:53,271 I want you to kill me after we dump her ashes. 247 00:26:53,272 --> 00:26:54,272 Man, what? 248 00:26:56,577 --> 00:26:57,410 Are you serious? 249 00:26:57,411 --> 00:26:59,124 Yes, I'm serious. 250 00:26:59,125 --> 00:27:01,866 My mother always told me that people like her 251 00:27:01,867 --> 00:27:05,142 and people like myself, we don't belong in this world. 252 00:27:05,143 --> 00:27:08,002 Bruh, you crazy and your mama sound like a fucking bitch. 253 00:27:08,003 --> 00:27:09,860 Man, are you're gonna do it or not? 254 00:27:09,861 --> 00:27:11,194 - Not! - Come on, 255 00:27:12,406 --> 00:27:13,479 just do this for me. 256 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:14,313 That's all I need. 257 00:27:14,314 --> 00:27:15,999 I beg of you, just do it, that's all. 258 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:17,819 No, you fucking crazy. 259 00:27:17,820 --> 00:27:19,639 I didn't sign up for this shit. 260 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,563 This aint the type of shit... Come on! 261 00:27:22,564 --> 00:27:23,564 Shit. 262 00:27:32,654 --> 00:27:36,571 Oh, fuck, man. 263 00:27:54,390 --> 00:27:56,223 It's true, you know. 264 00:28:01,500 --> 00:28:05,333 People like us, we don't belong in this world. 265 00:28:07,778 --> 00:28:09,278 That's not true. 266 00:28:10,482 --> 00:28:12,232 You wanna know why? 267 00:28:17,306 --> 00:28:20,223 Because people can't understand us. 268 00:28:23,469 --> 00:28:27,603 They can't understand us. That's not true. 269 00:28:27,604 --> 00:28:32,437 They can't understand us. 270 00:28:43,111 --> 00:28:45,278 We don't belong. Stop it! 271 00:29:01,016 --> 00:29:02,016 Stop it! 272 00:29:03,616 --> 00:29:06,033 Home, love, hate, life, hope. 273 00:29:07,981 --> 00:29:10,697 Just four-letter words yet so many feelings, 274 00:29:10,698 --> 00:29:12,413 feelings of which I lack. 275 00:29:12,414 --> 00:29:14,483 All I have is existence. 276 00:29:14,484 --> 00:29:16,151 I just don't belong. 277 00:29:21,164 --> 00:29:24,311 I didn't really know what the right thing was. 278 00:29:24,312 --> 00:29:27,051 There aren't very many rules amongst the lost, 279 00:29:27,052 --> 00:29:28,302 only survivors. 280 00:29:29,495 --> 00:29:30,493 What the fuck is this? 281 00:29:30,494 --> 00:29:32,685 Wait, Don, I'm pregnant. 282 00:29:32,686 --> 00:29:35,039 - Fucking slut! - I'm pregnant, Don. 283 00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:36,859 I'm pregnant! 284 00:29:36,860 --> 00:29:38,391 What the fuck? 285 00:29:38,392 --> 00:29:41,331 Am I supposed to feel sorry for you now, Tammy? 286 00:29:41,332 --> 00:29:43,165 Stupid, fucking bitch. 287 00:29:44,736 --> 00:29:46,957 Get your shit and get the fuck out! 288 00:29:46,958 --> 00:29:48,389 Where am I supposed to go? 289 00:29:48,390 --> 00:29:50,743 Not my problem, Tammy. 290 00:29:50,744 --> 00:29:51,994 Not my problem. 291 00:29:53,420 --> 00:29:55,603 You're washed up, Tammy. 292 00:29:55,604 --> 00:29:58,747 I cost more money to feed you than you bring in 293 00:29:58,748 --> 00:30:01,190 and any business that is bad. 294 00:30:01,191 --> 00:30:03,414 You're burned out, Tammy. 295 00:30:03,415 --> 00:30:05,559 You cost too much money. 296 00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:08,306 Get your freaking shit and get out. 297 00:30:09,251 --> 00:30:11,165 I'm going to give you some free advice, Tammy. 298 00:30:11,166 --> 00:30:12,215 Yeah, what's that? 299 00:30:12,216 --> 00:30:15,466 If you want to have this baby, don't. 300 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:18,933 Fuck you, Don. 301 00:30:21,016 --> 00:30:23,021 Fuck you. Get your shit 302 00:30:23,022 --> 00:30:24,773 and get the fuck out 303 00:30:24,774 --> 00:30:27,049 and take this little bastard to the clinic 304 00:30:27,050 --> 00:30:28,647 and get it taken care off. 305 00:30:28,648 --> 00:30:29,648 Get out! 306 00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:46,457 Guess you're stuck. 307 00:30:48,006 --> 00:30:49,787 So much of a coward you can't even do... 308 00:30:49,788 --> 00:30:53,288 Shut up! 309 00:30:56,468 --> 00:30:59,885 You think you're all high and all mighty? 310 00:31:01,866 --> 00:31:04,033 You didn't do shit for me. 311 00:31:06,844 --> 00:31:09,391 I've always been ashamed of you. 312 00:31:09,392 --> 00:31:12,225 - Likewise. - You're just a coward. 313 00:31:17,385 --> 00:31:18,817 You can't even do it yourself. 314 00:31:18,818 --> 00:31:22,818 One simple thing, you can't even do it yourself. 315 00:31:24,458 --> 00:31:27,125 Begging people to do it for you. 316 00:31:43,224 --> 00:31:44,224 Hey, Carl. 317 00:31:47,980 --> 00:31:51,670 I take it you reconsidered my offer. 318 00:31:51,671 --> 00:31:53,921 No, Carl, I'm not here for that. 319 00:31:53,922 --> 00:31:56,795 Can I please just come in? 320 00:31:56,796 --> 00:31:59,925 I was thrown out of my other place. 321 00:31:59,926 --> 00:32:02,259 I don't have anywhere to go. 322 00:32:21,922 --> 00:32:23,422 You forgot this. 323 00:32:28,124 --> 00:32:32,602 I bet you think I'm a pretty fucked up person, huh? 324 00:32:32,603 --> 00:32:34,686 Why would I think that? 325 00:32:35,771 --> 00:32:39,188 You know what I am, you know what I do. 326 00:32:42,622 --> 00:32:46,284 I bet you think a person like me would be stupid enough 327 00:32:46,285 --> 00:32:48,155 to get pregnant in a world like this. 328 00:32:48,156 --> 00:32:50,573 That's not for me to judge. 329 00:32:54,138 --> 00:32:57,638 You're a real diamond in the rough, huh? 330 00:33:00,937 --> 00:33:03,621 You know what people told me the best thing for me to do 331 00:33:03,622 --> 00:33:04,872 with this baby? 332 00:33:06,216 --> 00:33:07,049 Abort it. 333 00:33:07,050 --> 00:33:09,945 Tammy, people are assholes at times. 334 00:33:09,946 --> 00:33:12,479 Yeah, you're right about that 335 00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:15,730 but I just wanna prove 'em wrong, Carl. 336 00:33:20,165 --> 00:33:24,103 My whole life, I've been doing everything wrong. 337 00:33:24,104 --> 00:33:27,104 For once, I just wanna get it right. 338 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:29,927 And if your version of right 339 00:33:29,928 --> 00:33:34,410 is loving that child unconditionally, by all means do so 340 00:33:34,411 --> 00:33:38,578 but make sure you love that child unconditionally. 341 00:33:42,644 --> 00:33:43,894 You're right. 342 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:53,742 I take it that you'll be traveling with me. 343 00:33:53,743 --> 00:33:55,912 I didn't say that. 344 00:33:55,913 --> 00:33:58,927 What other reason are you here for then? 345 00:33:58,928 --> 00:34:01,245 Are you serious? 346 00:34:01,246 --> 00:34:03,807 What's your deal, man? 347 00:34:03,808 --> 00:34:05,873 How many people have you asked to do this? 348 00:34:05,874 --> 00:34:07,641 I'm curious. 349 00:34:07,642 --> 00:34:09,485 You're the 13th. 350 00:34:09,486 --> 00:34:11,697 And the other 12 said no I'm guessing. 351 00:34:11,698 --> 00:34:13,257 I mean, you came back. 352 00:34:13,258 --> 00:34:18,041 What else you got to do with your shit hole of a life, huh? 353 00:34:18,042 --> 00:34:21,769 I mean, this could be a fresh start for you, 354 00:34:21,770 --> 00:34:24,836 a chance for you to do what's right, I suppose. 355 00:34:24,837 --> 00:34:29,004 Right, and live with the fact that I killed you. 356 00:34:32,690 --> 00:34:35,121 Just think about it. 357 00:34:35,122 --> 00:34:38,705 I'm about to step outside and have a smoke. 358 00:34:40,870 --> 00:34:43,537 Why are you so messed up, huh? 359 00:34:44,458 --> 00:34:46,791 You gotta tell me something. 360 00:34:47,628 --> 00:34:49,955 I mean, my life ain't been all peachy and clean 361 00:34:49,956 --> 00:34:52,256 and stuff to say the least 362 00:34:52,257 --> 00:34:54,530 but it ain't always been this bad. 363 00:34:54,531 --> 00:34:56,753 I mean, I had some good times, not often 364 00:34:56,754 --> 00:35:00,087 but sometimes, a mood would just hit her 365 00:35:04,686 --> 00:35:08,686 and she would asked me to lay my head on her lap 366 00:35:10,770 --> 00:35:15,539 and then while she caressed my head, she sung to me. 367 00:35:15,540 --> 00:35:17,373 You've seen it good. 368 00:35:18,338 --> 00:35:21,249 God, no but there wasn't the point 369 00:35:21,250 --> 00:35:24,448 because if only for that moment, 370 00:35:24,449 --> 00:35:26,782 I felt like she cared for me 371 00:35:28,350 --> 00:35:31,039 and that was good enough for me. 372 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:32,727 When I was little, 373 00:35:32,728 --> 00:35:37,145 me and my sister used to go to my granddaddy's house. 374 00:35:38,344 --> 00:35:39,761 He had this farm, 375 00:35:43,141 --> 00:35:47,589 this big house, a bunch of acres of land, it was crazy. 376 00:35:47,590 --> 00:35:49,673 We used to love it there. 377 00:35:51,722 --> 00:35:54,805 I felt so free, I felt so free there, 378 00:35:58,274 --> 00:36:01,024 not caged then like how I do now. 379 00:36:03,866 --> 00:36:07,207 I remember how I used to walk outside 380 00:36:07,208 --> 00:36:09,708 and I would just close my eyes 381 00:36:13,850 --> 00:36:17,517 and I would take a deep breath of fresh air. 382 00:36:23,536 --> 00:36:26,369 It's like life was speaking to me. 383 00:36:28,305 --> 00:36:32,465 It's not too late for you feel that same feeling again. 384 00:36:32,466 --> 00:36:35,727 Yeah, well I could tell you the same thing, Carl. 385 00:36:35,728 --> 00:36:38,561 You could, it won't change much. 386 00:36:41,020 --> 00:36:42,257 Just think about it. 387 00:37:36,323 --> 00:37:37,156 What are you doing? 388 00:37:37,156 --> 00:37:38,131 Put her down! 389 00:37:38,132 --> 00:37:41,715 I don't know, I'm trying to understand you, I guess. 390 00:37:41,716 --> 00:37:42,549 I don't know. 391 00:37:42,550 --> 00:37:45,646 I made it perfectly clear what I wanted you to do. 392 00:37:45,647 --> 00:37:48,766 Okay, but do you realize that she's gone, Carl? 393 00:37:48,767 --> 00:37:50,184 She's just ashes. 394 00:37:51,027 --> 00:37:52,194 She's no more. 395 00:37:53,794 --> 00:37:55,704 Can I ask you something, 396 00:37:55,705 --> 00:37:59,877 a serious conversation, an honest conversation? 397 00:37:59,878 --> 00:38:01,268 What's wrong with you? 398 00:38:01,269 --> 00:38:03,361 What happened to you? 399 00:38:03,362 --> 00:38:06,103 What made you like this? 400 00:38:06,104 --> 00:38:07,521 You wanna know? 401 00:38:10,489 --> 00:38:14,739 Yeah, I wanna know. 402 00:38:20,694 --> 00:38:22,954 Let's just say I had a mother 403 00:38:22,955 --> 00:38:26,038 who was unable to love another person 404 00:38:27,450 --> 00:38:30,700 and I was a child who just needed love. 405 00:38:31,746 --> 00:38:34,829 She worked the streets just like you. 406 00:38:38,794 --> 00:38:42,797 She would come home at night, angry, drunk, 407 00:38:42,798 --> 00:38:45,005 whatever the case was 408 00:38:45,006 --> 00:38:48,749 and she would beat me until I was bloody. 409 00:38:48,750 --> 00:38:49,621 Little old me, 410 00:38:49,622 --> 00:38:52,727 the little kid that just wanted to be loved. 411 00:38:52,728 --> 00:38:56,068 I'd still rush over there beside her, 412 00:38:56,069 --> 00:38:59,683 take her orange, snuggle it around me. 413 00:38:59,684 --> 00:39:02,351 That was me feeling love, Tammy. 414 00:39:04,628 --> 00:39:06,461 All I wanted was love. 415 00:39:16,780 --> 00:39:18,113 You know what? 416 00:39:19,330 --> 00:39:24,330 When I was two, my daddy passed away from a drug overdose. 417 00:39:24,700 --> 00:39:25,868 I never met him. 418 00:39:25,869 --> 00:39:30,452 I don't remember him but everybody told me he loved me. 419 00:39:32,492 --> 00:39:35,619 I used to envision him as like this superhero. 420 00:39:35,620 --> 00:39:39,443 I know it's stupid and it's a childish type of thing 421 00:39:39,444 --> 00:39:42,444 at the time 'cause who am I fooling? 422 00:39:44,942 --> 00:39:48,463 That motherfucker died 'cause he was no saint. 423 00:39:48,464 --> 00:39:50,047 He overdosed, Carl. 424 00:39:52,129 --> 00:39:54,129 People are who they are. 425 00:39:55,405 --> 00:39:58,822 There's nothing we can do to change that. 426 00:40:01,450 --> 00:40:06,181 If your mama did all that to you that you say she did, 427 00:40:06,182 --> 00:40:08,379 then why are you holding on to her ashes? 428 00:40:08,380 --> 00:40:10,223 Because I have to. 429 00:40:10,224 --> 00:40:12,094 You trying to bring her peace? 430 00:40:12,095 --> 00:40:13,799 Look at you! 431 00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:17,550 If I'm gonna do it, I have to understand why. 432 00:40:18,413 --> 00:40:21,246 I gotta get it and I don't get it. 433 00:40:22,314 --> 00:40:24,187 Make me understand, Carl. 434 00:40:24,188 --> 00:40:25,855 Because I have to. 435 00:40:27,010 --> 00:40:28,309 Why, she's gone, Carl. 436 00:40:28,310 --> 00:40:31,227 She's not gone, she's right here. 437 00:40:32,106 --> 00:40:34,599 I see her when I wake up, when I eat my breakfast, 438 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:35,576 when I brush my teeth. 439 00:40:35,577 --> 00:40:38,659 She's always there, she is right here 440 00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:42,921 and it's the same as before. 441 00:40:42,922 --> 00:40:46,561 All I want is my mama here to hold me. 442 00:40:46,562 --> 00:40:48,783 She didn't do it then and she's not doing it now 443 00:40:48,784 --> 00:40:50,201 and it's torture. 444 00:40:51,978 --> 00:40:53,811 All I wanted was love. 445 00:41:05,594 --> 00:41:09,440 The only thing I regret is that I didn't piss on her ashes 446 00:41:09,441 --> 00:41:12,191 before I flushed down the toilet. 447 00:42:07,526 --> 00:42:11,859 That ain't gon' feel that void in your heart, boy. 448 00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:55,653 Carl, you didn't do anything wrong. 449 00:43:05,270 --> 00:43:06,853 Let me help you up. 450 00:43:15,646 --> 00:43:19,646 Just get some rest, it's been a really long day. 451 00:43:35,992 --> 00:43:37,742 What are you doing? 452 00:43:38,852 --> 00:43:42,269 What your mama should have did for you. 453 00:43:49,900 --> 00:43:51,233 It's okay, Carl. 454 00:43:58,064 --> 00:43:59,297 You never know what you're missing 455 00:43:59,298 --> 00:44:02,563 until it eventually slaps you in the face 456 00:44:02,564 --> 00:44:03,432 and once it happens, 457 00:44:03,433 --> 00:44:06,151 you realize that the feeling you're feeling 458 00:44:06,152 --> 00:44:07,985 isn't permanent at all 459 00:44:08,866 --> 00:44:11,949 and it makes life that more dreadful. 460 00:44:43,928 --> 00:44:47,678 You really thought you could get rid of me? 461 00:44:51,378 --> 00:44:52,378 I'm here 462 00:44:58,970 --> 00:45:00,053 and I'm here. 463 00:45:04,742 --> 00:45:06,742 You can't get rid of me. 464 00:46:26,333 --> 00:46:29,725 - Oh, I'm sorry. - No, it's fine. 465 00:46:29,726 --> 00:46:32,393 Oh, I must have fallen asleep. 466 00:46:37,111 --> 00:46:39,194 So where to now, drifter? 467 00:46:40,035 --> 00:46:42,986 Well, that remains to be seen. 468 00:46:42,987 --> 00:46:44,806 However, I was thinking, 469 00:46:44,807 --> 00:46:46,938 a fresh start would be great for you. 470 00:46:46,939 --> 00:46:49,275 Now that's doing what's right 471 00:46:49,276 --> 00:46:52,123 and I'm here for you as much as I can be. 472 00:46:52,124 --> 00:46:53,291 Sounds good. 473 00:46:54,218 --> 00:46:55,844 You know, I've learned all too well 474 00:46:55,845 --> 00:47:00,345 that you can't escape everything but you have a chance 475 00:47:01,839 --> 00:47:04,256 to pave a way for your child. 476 00:47:08,741 --> 00:47:11,408 Maybe we can do this together. 477 00:47:13,629 --> 00:47:14,462 Hope, right? 478 00:47:14,463 --> 00:47:15,629 Always hope. 479 00:47:18,315 --> 00:47:21,285 Not everyone has hope, Tammy. 480 00:47:21,286 --> 00:47:25,536 So then allow me to have hope for the both of us. 481 00:47:28,230 --> 00:47:30,282 Did you just... 482 00:47:30,283 --> 00:47:32,116 Oh, you were laughing! 483 00:47:32,987 --> 00:47:35,742 That's the first time I've seen you laugh. 484 00:47:35,743 --> 00:47:37,993 You have a very nice smile. 485 00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,410 You're beautiful. 486 00:47:41,411 --> 00:47:45,959 You ever feel like you're getting pulled in every direction, 487 00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:50,377 more so in the direction that is certainly permanent? 488 00:48:00,106 --> 00:48:01,956 - I'm sorry. - What's wrong? 489 00:48:01,957 --> 00:48:05,790 I'm sorry, I'm just not used to this, Tammy. 490 00:48:09,104 --> 00:48:10,104 We gotta go. 491 00:48:11,799 --> 00:48:13,279 Can you run this to the car for me 492 00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:14,828 while I just do a final walkthrough 493 00:48:14,829 --> 00:48:18,912 just to make sure I didn't leave anything behind? 494 00:48:20,661 --> 00:48:21,661 I'm sorry. 495 00:48:25,408 --> 00:48:26,991 - Okay. - Thank you. 496 00:48:30,883 --> 00:48:35,769 You know, a fresh start would be good for you too. 497 00:48:35,770 --> 00:48:37,937 You should think about it. 498 00:48:41,541 --> 00:48:43,384 Maybe you're right. 499 00:48:43,385 --> 00:48:46,014 This is where things get weird. 500 00:48:46,015 --> 00:48:49,515 I feel more alive now than I've ever felt. 501 00:48:50,421 --> 00:48:53,918 I've dispersed the ashes where they belong 502 00:48:53,919 --> 00:48:56,752 and in the process, I found a gem. 503 00:49:27,681 --> 00:49:30,044 Life is a funny thing. 504 00:49:30,045 --> 00:49:33,795 How intricate it is, love and hate coexisting 505 00:49:35,557 --> 00:49:37,182 in a psychotic cocktail. 506 00:49:37,183 --> 00:49:38,416 ♪ Show me how ♪ 507 00:49:38,417 --> 00:49:42,082 ♪ To even open my arms ♪ 508 00:49:42,083 --> 00:49:47,083 ♪ I've been dreaming that I'm flying ♪ 509 00:49:47,115 --> 00:49:50,064 ♪ I've seen the city through the clouds ♪ 510 00:49:50,065 --> 00:49:53,028 ♪ It's oh, so small ♪ 511 00:49:53,029 --> 00:49:58,029 ♪ Every now and then, I'm falling ♪ 512 00:49:59,179 --> 00:50:04,179 ♪ Say something, say something ♪ 513 00:50:04,889 --> 00:50:09,889 ♪ Blood rushing, now ease the pain ♪ 514 00:50:10,633 --> 00:50:15,633 ♪ Say something, don't leave me hanging ♪ 515 00:50:16,391 --> 00:50:21,391 ♪ Say something, don't leave again ♪ 516 00:50:25,296 --> 00:50:30,296 ♪ Say something, say something ♪ 517 00:50:30,872 --> 00:50:35,872 ♪ Blood rushing, now ease the pain ♪ 518 00:50:36,696 --> 00:50:41,696 ♪ Say something, don't leave me hanging ♪ 519 00:50:42,457 --> 00:50:46,707 ♪ Say something, don't leave again ♪ 520 00:51:02,917 --> 00:51:06,061 ♪ I know that we will be just fine ♪ 521 00:51:06,062 --> 00:51:08,829 ♪ Because it's time ♪ 522 00:51:08,830 --> 00:51:13,706 ♪ Every now and then, I'm crying ♪ 523 00:51:13,707 --> 00:51:16,100 ♪ I'm holding on the pieces ♪ 524 00:51:16,101 --> 00:51:20,232 ♪ Just for now there's room for all ♪ 525 00:51:20,233 --> 00:51:25,233 ♪ A smile is found inside the face I'm hiding ♪ 526 00:51:26,072 --> 00:51:29,048 Tammy, I wanna thank you 527 00:51:29,049 --> 00:51:31,024 and I wanted you to know that 528 00:51:31,025 --> 00:51:32,792 there's nothing you done wrong. 529 00:51:32,793 --> 00:51:34,480 Truth is I'm a virus 530 00:51:34,481 --> 00:51:37,628 and even for a brief moment, I felt comfort in your arms 531 00:51:37,629 --> 00:51:40,956 and that was more than any man can ask for. 532 00:51:40,957 --> 00:51:44,516 The only thing I ask is that you do the same for your child. 533 00:51:44,517 --> 00:51:47,286 Start over, leave the city behind, 534 00:51:47,287 --> 00:51:50,204 love that child, shelter that child 535 00:51:51,617 --> 00:51:54,684 because I know how it is on the opposite end of love. 536 00:51:54,685 --> 00:51:55,518 This is the result. 537 00:51:55,519 --> 00:52:00,518 ♪ Blood rushing, now ease the pain ♪ 538 00:52:00,558 --> 00:52:05,558 ♪ Say something, don't leave me hanging ♪ 539 00:52:06,292 --> 00:52:11,292 ♪ Say something, don't leave again ♪ 540 00:52:14,545 --> 00:52:17,462 ♪ Don't walk alone ♪ 541 00:52:33,914 --> 00:52:38,914 ♪ We could drive along an ocean reflecting the sun ♪ 542 00:52:39,841 --> 00:52:44,841 ♪ Or make a bed of green atop a wide open scene ♪ 543 00:52:46,356 --> 00:52:51,356 ♪ Under a canvas of blue, I would draw ever nearer to you ♪ 544 00:52:52,517 --> 00:52:57,517 ♪ To feel the dew on your skin, that is how it would begin ♪ 545 00:52:58,916 --> 00:53:03,916 ♪ For summer is for falling in love ♪ 546 00:53:05,207 --> 00:53:07,040 ♪ Mmh ♪ 547 00:53:17,050 --> 00:53:22,050 ♪ We could stay out late until the sun sets past eight ♪ 548 00:53:22,873 --> 00:53:27,873 ♪ And the cotton candy haze mirrors the warmth of your gaze ♪ 549 00:53:29,492 --> 00:53:31,881 ♪ Raise your glass to mine ♪ 550 00:53:31,882 --> 00:53:35,887 ♪ And as we drink, we would lock eyes ♪ 551 00:53:35,888 --> 00:53:38,355 ♪ So we could disregard ♪ 552 00:53:38,356 --> 00:53:42,189 ♪ The thought of ever having to part ♪ 553 00:53:42,190 --> 00:53:47,190 ♪ For summer is for falling in love ♪ 554 00:53:48,488 --> 00:53:50,321 ♪ Mmh ♪