♪♪
♪ Christmas
♪ Favorite time of year ♪
♪ Christmas
♪ Friends and family cheer ♪
♪ This is Christmas, Christmas, Christmas ♪
♪ This is Christmas ♪
♪ Favorite time of year ♪
It's really happing. We're having Christmas babies.
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
♪ My favorite fun at Christmas ♪
♪ Is you ♪
Excuse me.
A little help here.
Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetie.
- Okay. It's all right. - I gotcha. I gotcha.
- Take it slow. - Ooh. 'Kay.
- Okay. - All right.
I got the door. You all right?
I got you.
Okay. Watch your head, sweetie. Watch it.
I got you. You good?
Okay. All right.
- Watch out for my-- Ow! - Oh, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry, sweetie. Sorry.
Okay. Okay.
Bags.
Right. Bags. I got the bags.
Oh, Lord. Michael, come on.
- All right. - I'm not havin' the baby in this car.
Come on, come on!
Let's go.
All right, sweetie. Here we go.
[engine revving]
Yes, that's nice, honey, now step on it.
- Step on it, go! - I'm goin', baby.
- Go! - This thing won't go much faster.
Come on, step on it. Come on!
I'm goin'.
Michael, you took the bumpiest road.
Baby, it's a shortcut. I had to take this route.
Why'd you do that?
I'm kind of freakin' out, baby.
You look like you're gonna have a heart attack.
[chuckles] Is that right?
'Cause you look like you're about to have a baby.
That's because I am about to have a baby.
Whoo.
- Let's just breathe. Okay? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's just breathe like we did in the classes.
- Okay. - Okay?
One, breathe out. Two.
[rapid blowing]
- Ohh! Ow! - What? What's wrong?
What's wrong? You're freakin' me out.
It's just a few contractions.
- You don't have to worry about that. - Okay.
But I'm tellin' you right now,
if you don't drive faster, I'm gonna have the baby in this car.
Sweetie, I'm goin' as fast as I can, and bein' safe.
Safe? We don't have time for safe!
♪♪
[sniffing]
Oh, my God.
- [siren wailing] - [engine starting]
[tires squealing]
Headquarters, I'm in pursuit of a reckless driver,
county road 295, north of Miss Bolton's farm.
Dispatcher: [on radio] All vehicles, please respond immediately.
[siren wailing]
Caroline, I think we're being pulled over.
- What? - Yeah.
They can't do that.
I don't want to go to jail.
You're not gonna go to jail for speeding.
Where does it say that in the code?
- No, don't you stop. Don't you dare stop. - Okay, okay.
[siren wailing]
Man: I'm on your tail, car 7.
Faster, Michael, the baby's coming.
I'm goin' as fast as I can.
Gosh, I wish my mother was here.
Don't worry about it. She's lookin' down on us right now
makin' sure everything's goin' the way it should.
I love you, Ma!
- And I love you, Caroline. - I love you, baby.
- Merry Christmas. - That's right. Merry Christmas.
[sirens wailing]
[screaming]
I can't imagine goin' through this with anybody but you.
You better not go through this with anybody but me.
I didn't mean it like that. You know what I meant, Caroline.
Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean.
Whoo!
You just pull over, please. Just pull over.
- This is happening. - Caroline, right now?
Yes, right now. Michael Lee Anderson,
you pull this car over right now. Right now!
I'm pullin' the truck over right now. Right now.
Oh, gosh.
That's it. Oh, Lord.
- [groans] - Whoa, whoa, whoa, where you goin'?
- [groans] - Sweetie, be careful.
Ma'am, I'm gonna need you to stay in the vehicle.
- Baby's comin'. - Watch yourself.
- This baby-- - I'm comin', baby.
- This baby is comin' out. - Oh, my God, okay.
Sir, I'm gonna need you to open the back door.
- Oh, yeah, I'm comin'. - Open the trunk.
- Come on, baby. - Oh, it's comin', it's happenin'.
All right, go ahead and clear a path for us.
- Watch your head, sweetie. - Get up there.
- Watch your head. - Okay, are we doin' this?
- Yeah. - Something to prop her up?
- Get the bag! - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ooh. [blowing]
Okay, I got you, baby.
Okay, okay.
- Push for me. - [screaming]
Okay. Oh, I feel something. Oh, okay, no, that's the head.
- Oh, oh. - Here we go.
- Okay. - Keep breathing.
Focus. Thank you for the escort, officer.
Oh, no, that was not an escort.
Now, y'all are lucky that I didn't pull a pit maneuver,
and knock y'all's hinies into the cotton field.
- Could we focus, please? - Yeah, yeah, focus.
- Can we focus? - Just push, baby.
- [screaming] - Here we go.
- [screams] Oh, my God. - It's a baby girl!
- Oh, oh, my God. - We have a baby girl.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- Whoo. - [baby crying]
- Okay. - [baby crying]
Officer, there's one more comin'.
- We're having twins. - What?
- [screaming] - There's one more.
Ooh! Push.
Okay. Oh, there, there-- That's good, right there.
- [screaming] - Yes!
- [baby crying] - It's a boy.
It's a healthy boy.
Okay. [laughing]
- Okay. - Yes.
- [babies crying] - Good job, babe.
- Good job, baby. - Oh, oh.
Thank you, officer.
I'm gonna call dispatch.
- Merry Christmas. - Hey. Oh, God.
Dispatch, I need an ambulance immediately,
country road 205. I just delivered twins.
♪ Jingle bells, a jingle bells ♪
♪ A jingle all the way ♪
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪
♪ A Beverly Hills sleigh
♪ Yeah!
♪ A jingle bells, a jingle bells ♪
♪ A jingle all the way ♪
Here we go, family. Let's get fired up.
So much excitement. Okay, okay.
Get fired up. Who is ready for
the best Christmas display ever?
- Me! - We are!
I want to push the button.
But you said I could press it.
[sighs]
Tell you that have more than one remote.
Uh, not exactly.
But it doesn't matter 'cause I have jobs for all of us.
- Yay! - Julia, inflatable Santas.
Brendan, will you handle the snowmen?
Yes.
And Caroline, Christmas train, pretty please?
Sure.
And I'm in charge of the Christmas lights.
But don't press a button until I count to three, okay?
- Which one? - All right, family--
This one right here. Okay, on the count of three.
Ready? One, and a two,
and a three!
[electricity sputtering]
[explosion]
- Oh! - [screaming]
- Oh, my gosh. - Mommy.
- Whoo. - Sweetie.
[screaming]
I don't know what happened.
Nice work, Michael.
- Yeah. - My hair got messed up.
[chuckles] What? Why is everyone looking at me?
- This isn't my fault. - Thanks, Dad.
[sighs]
You gotta get this fixed.
We have guests coming in the next two hours.
All right, I know. I'll call the company.
Come on, guys. We gotta keep decorating.
Yeah.
Thanks, Dad. At least you didn't ruin the inside.
I'm sorry, Santa.
Hey. It's Michael Anderson.
Yes, again.
♪ Christmas time is here
♪ Carolers comin' round bringin' cheer ♪
♪ Christmas time is here
Santa Claus, where ya at?
♪ You must be near
♪ The kids are waitin' for ya ♪
♪ been waitin' all year ♪
♪ They're waitin' for your very special flyin' reindeer ♪
♪ They're waitin' for...
I can't believe it. You have outdone yourself this year.
I mean, the guests in costume,
and presents for everyone,
and snow machines in the back yard.
Hey. This must have cost a fortune.
Oh, come on. After you turned your entire back yard
into a haunted forest for Halloween.
After you spent more than the city
on 4th of July fireworks.
You know, Michael and I, we just want to give back.
Well, I really like the Christmas costume party idea.
Yeah, well, last year's aprés-ski theme was a little out of touch.
We needed something that was a little more down to earth.
Oh, well, I think what you're trying to say is
that, well, most of our guests,
they don't take vacations, and much less ski,
so we just wanted to be a little more accessible, right, honey?
- That's right. - Uh, Christmas theme.
Uh, novel idea.
You look amazing.
Oh, sweetheart, that's very nice of you to say.
[chuckles]
[lasers firing]
[video game noises]
Aren't you stoked that you might get the new G-55 console?
We'll see in T-minus 16 hours.
We can't afford video games.
That's too bad, buddy.
Maybe if I get the G-55,
you can borrow my old system.
Or maybe you'll get one for Christmas.
I don't think so.
Do you think my mom remembered to get me
Battle Bots 2? It was the top of my list.
Of course, you've been talking about it for months.
Hey, boys, what are you doin'?
You know, there's a party out there.
We're having an alien annihilation party.
That sounds very Christmas-y.
Are you letting the other boys play?
They're watching.
It's fun, right?
- No. - Whee.
Uh, Ashton, your parents are looking for you.
Mom, can Ashton spend the night?
No. Honey, come on, it's Christmas Eve.
He should be with his family.
You know, Ashton, you should at least
be with your family, like, once a year.
What can I say, Mrs. A.
I'm a citizen of the world.
Yeah, well, you're certainly taking citizenship in this house.
Hey, boys. It's gift time.
- All: Yay! - Presents!
I got this in the mall in Milano, Italy.
Oh, speaking of malls,
do you guys ever go shopping at the mall?
My mom and I walk around the mall all the time,
but we never buy anything.
Why? The whole point of going to the mall
is buying stuff.
My mom says malls are for capitalist pigs.
So we just window shop.
You shop for windows?
No, I just look in the window,
and imagine wearing all the clothing.
Girl,
that is really lame.
I know.
Hey, girls, you havin' fun?
Both: Uh...
Well, you're about to have a lot more fun,
'cause we are doing the presents downstairs.
Why don't you go on down?
Mom.
Yeah? What's wrong, sweet pea?
Those girls aren't too much fun.
Why do you think that is?
Oh, honey, I'm sure that they are a lot of fun.
But, you know,
they're out of their element.
I'm sure they're not usually in a big house.
They're probably a little overwhelmed.
- That makes sense. - Yeah.
Why don't we help them and go hand out gifts?
- Okay. - Okay?
- Hey, Ray, Merry Christmas. - [chuckling] Wow.
Hey.
What? Wow.
Man, thank you, man, this is--
Here, you, uh-- you take this one here.
Yeah, of course.
Try this on.
Wow.
- Mm-hm. - I really appreciate this.
Looks good on you.
It feels good on me.
[chuckles] Thank you.
Really appreciate this, man.
Well, I didn't actually buy it for you.
What, you didn't?
I want you to look like a successful attorney,
and this $10 digital watch is not cuttin' it, pal.
See, if you look successful, then we can charge the clients more,
and the firm makes more money.
Yeah, that-- that-- that makes sense.
Kind of.
Excuse me. Hey. How are you?
Jerk.
[screaming]
Oh, my God!
Mom!
Caroline, honey, you didn't have to do this.
I know. [laughs]
But open it anyway.
Okay.
Don't have to ask me twice.
[gasping] Oh, my gosh.
Are you kidding me? A diamond bracelet?
Oh, my goodness, this makes the bag I got you
look like a knock off.
- Well, it is a knock off. - [screaming]
- You deserve it. - Oh, my God.
I'm gonna go find my husband.
Oh, yes, this will work.
All right, listen up, folks.
May I please have everyone's attention.
Can we all go to the living room.
- It is time for presents. - [screaming]
Oh, you're a drummer boy. I know what that is.
All right, guys, let's come right in.
All right. We would like to thank everybody
for coming to the Anderson Family Annual Christmas party.
Caroline and I came from the exact same humble beginnings
that you all have.
In fact, back when we lived in Georgia,
we didn't even have a penny to our name, just like all of you.
I'm sorry.
I'm just trying to say that we have been there.
But, through a lot of hard work and determination,
we were able to climb the ladder.
Which we gained the perspective
to understand how all of you
are going through your struggles,
and remembered the struggles we once had.
Anyway, we just wanted you guys to enjoy this Christmas party,
and get a little bit of hope
to see how things can change for you
like they did for Caroline and I.
And give you gifts.
Many, many gifts. Right?
Okay, so without further ado,
they all have stickers on them.
Men, they are blue, women, they are pink.
Girls are yellow.
And boys have red.
All right, people, let's grab some presents.
[screaming]
[chatter]
- Julia: A lint roller? - Caroline: Oh. That's nice, a, uh, lint brush, honey.
- Yeah, that's great. - Socks.
Brendan: Socks? Dad, why?
That's not a Christmas present.
Caroline: And gloves. Yes, enjoy those.
Stay warm for the holidays.
Julia: Eww, I think that's underwear.
Brendan: Oh, that's so embarrassing.
Caroline: Socks for everyone.
- Brendan: What is that? - Caroline: Yes, ear swabs.
[mouthing]
Julia: Toothbrush? Oh, why'd you get Ashton socks?
Caroline: Oh, Ashton, those are Brendan's socks.
Michael: See? This is nice.
Everybody's enjoying themselves.
Mm, yes, I--
I know that you're a good man, Michael Anderson.
- Thank you, sweetie. - Yeah.
What about our gifts?
Not only is it Christmas, but it's our birthday.
Yeah. Did you get me the new G-55 console?
Or what about the new boy band karaoke system?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, take it easy, guys.
You didn't honestly think we'd be rude enough
to let you open up your gifts
in front of everyone, did you?
- Yeah. - [sighs] No.
Come on, we're gonna open up our gifts tomorrow morning
as the Andersons have been doing for the last decade.
[sighs]
Go ahead.
Michael: Merry Christmas, everyone. Keep movin'.
Thank you so much for coming tonight.
We had a great time.
Great time. So sad to see everyone leave,
but it is time.
Merry Christmas, you guys.
Thank you so much.
Hopefully, we will not be seeing you next year.
What? I just meant that hopefully they won't be
in the same financial situation that they are now.
Did you really just say that, man?
Oh, man. We are going to be cleaning all day tomorrow.
- I'll help you. - Oh, no, no, no. [laughs]
No, we have people. [laughs]
Sweet of them.
- [bells jingling] - [laughing]
And so it is.
I thought that was your friend?
Maybe we've been at the wrong house all night.
[laughing]
Let's go home.
Mark down one more successful Christmas party.
Well, it's not quite over with yet.
Just one more thing.
Honey.
I thought we weren't doing Christmas gifts until tomorrow.
We are tomorrow.
♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪
Caroline: So when are you gonna tell me
what this key is for? You know I hate surprises.
Michael: You'll find out in just a moment.
We're almost there.
♪ A Merry Christmas
Where are you guys going?
Kids: Nowhere. [giggles]
Well, I would go as far as saying nowhere, guys.
Well, we're giving you your Christmas present.
You are?
Well, just think about it.
Your friends can't get enough of your bath products.
And you've always dreamed of owning your own shop, so--
Merry Christmas!
Wow.
Michael: Huh?
Just think how exciting it'll be to sell your own product,
and to know that people are enjoying it.
- Yeah. - We can hire all the help.
All you have to do is boss 'em around.
You like that sort of thing.
Yeah, Mom, you like to boss Dad and us around.
This is right up your alley.
[chuckles] Okay. Well, thanks, guys.
All right, well, let's go inside and check it out.
Wendy did an amazing job of decorating the place.
Come on.
[bell jingles]
Wow, you guys.
Doesn't it look good?
- Oh, my-- - I think she likes it.
- Yeah. - See, isn't this place great?
- Wow. - Yeah, it's amazing, right?
Oh, my gosh.
Oh.
You guys.
This is amazing.
Well, good, 'cause you absolutely deserve it.
Thank you.
Well, I'll tell you what.
I think that the hand soap should go over there,
the bath balms can be there,
and then the shampoos can go over there.
And maybe you could open up another store soon,
and you can have Bubbles, and Bubbles, and Bubbles, and Bubbles, and Bubbles,
and Bubbles, and Bubbles,
and Bubbles, and Bubbles--
There are gonna be Bubbles all over the world.
It's gonna be great, Mom.
Oh, I love you guys.
Michael: We love you, too.
Caroline: It's Valentine's Day and you didn't make any plans?
Come on, Caroline, you know I've been killing myself at work.
I'm sorry, I just totally forgot.
You forgot?
Did you forget about this heart on the door?
And did you forget this inflatable heart?
And then did you forget about these hearts?
Ohh. You don't have a heart.
Caroline, I said I was sorry,
and I meant it.
- Caroline! - [door rattling]
Come on, Caroline, let me in.
I said I was sorry.
[knocking]
Caroline: I can't believe you guys slept through
the hopping of the Easter Bunny.
- What? - Yeah, it was loud.
It woke your father and me up.
- Really? - Really?
It must have been really loud to wake him up.
[laughing]
But how does he get to all the houses?
Wouldn't it take a long time?
Well, honey, he just borrows Santa's sleigh.
He must have spent a long time at our house.
I had so much stuff,
I couldn't even lift my Easter basket.
Now, to be honest with you guys,
- the Easter Bunny nor Santa Clause really-- - Okay, we're gonna get brunch.
- Brunch, guys, brunch. - Yay, brunch!
What's wrong with you?
I'm not wearing it.
Sweetheart, you look adorable.
No, I look stupid!
I mean, he does look kind of silly, right?
Yeah.
Ugh!
I swear, Michael.
No candy for you, Dad.
It's not cool. Not at all.
I don't get it. What did I say?
Guys, wait up.
[laughing]
Oh, guys, well, look, thanks for having us over.
Really appreciate it.
I'm really sorry about the turkey,
and the cranberries, and the stuffing.
- No. - Stop it, it's totally fine.
I don't know why I thought I could cook that myself.
As I tried to warn repeatedly.
[sighs]
Look, I'm glad to hear everything's going so well at Bubble.
Oh, yeah, sure it is.
And I'm glad to hear that you guys are doing well at the office. Right?
- Yeah. - They're goin' great.
Yeah, things are slow but it's getting better.
Well, yeah, but they'll pick up, they always do. Right?
Let's hope.
- Look, see you at the party. - Yeah.
Okay.
Bye, sweetheart.
Bye. Bye, thank you.
See you guys soon.
- Drive safe, guys. - [car alarm chirps]
- [car door closes] - Really?
- [engine turns over] - What?
The turkey was okay. I was just saying that.
[car horn honks]
Who's that?
I have no idea.
Happy Turkey Day.
Both: Aunt Katie?
- Hi. - What are you doin' here?
Oh, nice to see you, too, my favorite nephew,
and his gorgeous wife.
Well, no, it's great to see you,
but we just weren't expecting you.
- This is crazy. - Here I am.
- Yeah. - Oh, I see that you have bags.
Uh, you goin' somewhere?
Yes. I'm going to this lovely destination
called your guest room,
and I'm stayin' through Christmas and New Year's.
- You are? - You are?
Uh-huh, and if things go well,
I might stay longer. [chuckling]
- Longer? - Uh-huh.
Katie: Oh, look at this.
Whoa. Ohh. Someone won the lottery.
[chuckles] Nice.
Are you still here?
Buddy, do you ever sleep at home?
Why would I sleep in a 1500 square foot house
when I can sleep in a mansion?
Good point. And if your parents are cool with it,
then so are we.
Did you have another kid?
He came with the house.
Mom, Dad, who's the visitor?
Oh, my gosh. Look at you two.
You're so beautiful, and so big.
Oh, I haven't seen you in five years.
Look at you.
[mouthing]
How long are you here for?
Well, my boyfriend and I broke up,
and I wasn't feeling San Francisco,
so I thought, why not go on my next adventure?
That's too bad, 'cause I kind of liked Tim.
No, it was Mike.
Tim was four boyfriends ago.
Hmm.
- We'll take these in the guest room. - Oh, yeah.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
It's okay, right?
Oh, uh--
What? Uh-- Well, yeah, of course.
Just go make yourself at home.
Thank you.
Okay, kids, I have presents for you.
Uh-- Wha--
Why'd I say that?
And I had my own frog that I used to walk on a leash.
Then, when I left the commune,
I moved in with this guy on Portrero Hill,
and he was a pirate.
Like an on the ocean pirate?
No, an internet pirate,
and he taught me how to hack into computers, like,
you know, at NASA or the Pentagon. Isn't that cool?
Yeah, that is really cool.
Super cool.
But that didn't work out,
and he got custody of my pet iguana,
so here I am to spend the holidays with my favorite family.
Aren't we your only family?
Yes, so it's a good thing you're my favorite. [chuckles]
You can come with us to the amusement park next weekend.
Oh, that's so sweet, but I have to work.
Both: Aww.
A job? I thought you just got here.
Yeah, well, I got a job on the way down here.
I got a gig playing Mrs. Kringle on Rodeo Drive.
- Julia: Really? - Brendan: That's so cool.
Katie: I know, I'm gonna be Mrs. Santa Claus.
The last time she visited,
she stayed until we moved and didn't leave a forwarding address.
- Then get rid of her. - You get rid of her.
You're the one who said she could stay.
- Are you two arguing? - Yes. - No.
'Cause it's not good to fight in front of the children.
Julia: It's okay, we're used to it.
Brendan: They do it all the time.
[sighs]
♪♪
Whoa, Ray.
Good to see you're working during the holidays.
What can I say? I'm committed to this firm.
What are you doing here?
Oh, Hartman Global changed their minds.
They don't want to settle. They want more.
What?
They're getting $9 million,
it's more than fair.
Yeah, well, they want the full 10.
A million dollars is pocket change to these guys.
This is a power play.
I'll let them power play they're own grandmothers
as long as we get to keep this account.
We're goin' to court.
Ray, Ray, you should be happy about this.
This means they're on the hook for another six months.
Do you ever want more?
Yeah. That's why I'm thinking about raising their rates.
No, I mean, do you ever regret helping rich corporations
sue other rich corporations?
No, not really.
[sighs]
I'll be ready for court.
That's what I like to hear. Keep up the good work, pal.
Yep.
Jerk.
- [door opens] - [bell jingles]
- [door closes] - [bell jingles]
- [door opens] - [bell jingles]
- [door closes] - [bell jingles]
- [door opens] - [bell jingles]
Hi. Welcome to Bubble.
Can I help you find anything today?
Doubtful.
Really doubtful.
Oh, I'm sure I can help you find something wonderful.
What's your favorite scent?
I love the smell of a good library book.
I'm not sure we have that in a soap,
but we do have this sandalwood.
Yeah. It has a, uh, earthy woodsy--
Woodsy? No, no, no, I hate the woods.
Chiggers. Ticks. Lyme disease.
I know about that stuff.
Okay. Well, then, you must love vanilla. [chuckles]
This has African soap scrub in it.
It's very exclusive. Here's a sample.
[sniffing] Oh, that smells like cake.
And that's bad?
Well, I-- I'm gluten intolerant.
Okay, so then you must be a floral girl.
Oh, no, no, that has a spray top.
I don't like anything that sprays.
What are these?
Those, um-- Well, they just dissolve in the bath
if you drop them in and they make your skin soft and smell nice.
Okay, well, I'll take one of these.
You know, if you buy two they're 25 percent off.
No, no, I'm just gonna try the one.
Just gonna try one.
How did you, uh, hear about Bubble?
I don't like crowds.
So that-- that's why I came in here.
- [sighs] - [paper rustling]
Yep.
Sounds about right.
Okay, well--
Thanks for coming in.
[bell jingles]
[door closes]
Kids!
I got your favorite.
Yay!
Come on down.
- Whoa. - Fried chicken.
Mm-hm.
Ooh, biscuits.
I want this one.
I'm just gettin' me a big piece of chicken.
So, how was your day, kids?
Mm.
Well, they're little chatter boxes, aren't they?
Hi, Mrs. A.
- Where did you come from? - The Johnson's house.
Let me guess. They didn't have fried chicken.
Nope.
[sighs]
Mm, looks good, guys.
Thank you.
Wait. You're not staying for dinner?
Oh, I'd love to stay for dinner,
but honey, honestly, I got a ton of work to finish tonight.
Hate to eat and run, but, uh, enjoy.
Let's go play video games.
Yes, yes, yes. Yes.
[yelling]
Is this a typical dinner at your house?
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
How did this balance get so high?
Did you say something?
What? No.
- Hey, how are you? - Hi.
Good. Yeah.
You know Brendon grew out of his hockey uniform again.
You gotta be kidding me.
If that kid gets any taller,
he's gonna grow out of this house.
I know.
So I'm gonna take him shopping this weekend
and Julia, she needs a check for her class trip.
So can you just put some more money into the checking account?
Again?
What? Is something wrong?
No.
Is everything okay?
Yeah, of course.
So, uh, how was your day?
How's Bubble?
- Never better. - Oh, great.
Okay, honey, good night.
Good night, sweetie.
He, um, he's working on a big case.
Oh, hey, Dad.
Working hard?
Yeah, but I got time for you, what's up?
We need to go over some numbers for Hartman Global.
Ooh, we got to put a hold on that.
We've got to step up the Wayford situation.
He's suing for defamation of character.
What?
Well, the guy's a slumlord.
He's lucky we got him off. He's the one who should be prosecuted.
Dad, you sound more like a D.A. than his defense attorney.
No, no, no, no. We're not doing it.
Why not?
We can't defend someone like that anymore.
Okay, what is going on around here?
First, Ray doesn't want rich corporations as clients,
and now you're picking and choosing who's worthy of defending?
We're lawyers, it's our job to get our clients
the money using the law as best we can.
And it's also our job to be decent human beings.
What is that supposed to mean?
It means that throwing a Christmas party once a year
for a tax write-off doesn't make you a saint.
Michael, we moved here together, we built this firm from the ground up.
We have a reputation in the community.
We're better than this.
We're better than helping the bad guys get away with stuff.
You know that, right?
I don't even understand the question. Come again?
I want to be proud of this firm once again.
Ever since we moved here, you've been leading the firm down a path of greed.
It's making me feel dirty.
Yeah, well, it's also making you rich.
It doesn't matter.
Frankly, I don't even understand what's going on.
Oh, you don't?
Well, how about Trevor Morgan?
You got him off that hit and run on a technicality.
Yeah, he said he didn't see the six vehicles he hit,
and I believe him.
Oh, how about Lizzie Robinson?
Do you suppose she didn't notice she was stealing all the money from her employer?
But you talked them into settling for nothing.
They couldn't prove anything.
She stole those people's pensions.
Now, I'm done defending the bottom of the barrel.
Our family name means integrity.
That's why I have to take you off the dole.
I'm firing you.
Pack your things, get out.
What? You can't fire me.
Not only can I fire you, I can send you to your room.
You're out.
You need to change your attitude, son.
You can't do this, it's Christmas!
[ bells chime ]
Hey, honey.
What's wrong?
I can tell something's wrong, what is it?
What?
They can't fire you!
It's your law firm, too.
Not anymore.
That makes no sense, how can they do that?
Caroline, they can do whatever they want.
They own 51%, remember?
No, no, no, no, I distinctly remember when you said
on that trip to Bora-Bora that it was 50, 50.
You promised me-- you sold that point, didn't you?
Mm-hmm.
[ sighs ]
Well, why would they do that?
My dad thinks I'm a bad image for the firm.
He and the partners think that I'm greedy.
You bought them all gold watches last Christ--
Yep, okay.
I guess I can see how that happened.
[ sighs ]
Gosh, what are we gonna do?
I'm done fighting, Caroline.
I'm not fighting him anymore, I'm not fighting them anymore.
I just want to do what's best for us.
I want to be there for you and the kids and that's it.
That's all that matters to me right now.
I don't know, maybe I should take the year off.
I could work with you here at Bubble.
We still have Bubble!
No.
I mean, don't do that.
[ sighs ]
All right, well, it doesn't matter, I'm gonna figure something else out,
and I promise it will all work out. We'll be fine.
Well, you better.
Honey, we have been living beyond our means for quite some time,
and I have gotten accustomed to it, so...
Don't you think I know that?
Well, sometimes I wonder, Michael.
Listen, this is what you're gonna do.
You're gonna walk out that door,
you're gonna march up to your father,
and you are going to demand your job back.
Please, I'm begging you, can I just have my job back.
I'm busy.
All right, listen.
I apologize for my behavior.
I've just been extremely stressed out lately.
You know how the holidays can get.
You're stressed?
You don't know what stress is, young man.
Stress is working the tobacco fields until your hands bleed
just so you can take care of your family.
Stress is starting a law firm not knowing
if you'll be able to pay your employees.
Stress is finally getting established and hiring your son
who gives you ulcers.
Dad, you're absolutely right.
I don't know what you've been through.
And I do know that you worked hard for your family.
You're not behaving like the son we raised you to be,
and I'm done with it.
We've already promoted Ray to partner.
What? You've already promoted Ray?
Please, Dad, I'm practically broke.
Christmas and the kid's birthdays just depleted me.
That's not my problem.
I've made the decision and your mother's in agreement.
Mom agrees with this?
Actually, it was her idea.
Come on, Dad, I can't afford to be unemployed right now.
I'll do whatever it takes.
I'll change, I promise.
[ chuckles ]
Good one, son.
Oh, you're... you're not joking.
Well, I am sorry.
I can't help you.
The decision's been made.
It's what you kids call "tough love".
Now, I'm looking forward to seeing Brendon and Julia this weekend.
Your mama can't make it, she's got bowling league.
So, um, I got a lot of work to do.
Can you please close the door after you leave?
The defense never rests.
Yeah.
[ grunts ]
- Hey, Ray. - What's up, man?
- Can I talk to you for a second? - Yeah.
What are you doing? What--
- Really? - Come on!
Really?
You're gonna take the watch?
Not cool, man.
Not--
You gave me that watch, man.
Yeah, Richard, it's Mike.
You said to call you if I was ever free.
Well, I just so happen to be free.
Marty, hey, buddy.
It's Michael.
Just wanted to call you and see if you had any positions open.
I've kind of got myself in a jam and could use a job.
Marty, come on, man. You owe me.
Michael Anderson.
We went to law school together.
Yeah, I was just wondering if you had any job openings available.
Yeah, how you been?
You don't remember? Come on, man!
Well, maybe I never liked you.
It would be much appreciated.
You gotta be kidding me, right?
You know what? I don't want to work with you, anyway!
Whatever you got, that'd be great.
You know what? Just forget it. Thanks for nothing.
Hello?
No, absolutely not. I'm not gonna be your intern.
Jerk!
You know what? Forget I asked.
Just forget it.
[ grunts ]
Come on!
Oh, hey, babe. No, my dad did not give me my job back.
Hey, I did get a job from one of my old associates.
So, uh, yeah. We're gonna be good.
I mean, I'm not really gonna be making
quite the same money, but, uh...
You know, hours will be the same.
Same type of work stuff.
So, you know what? We're gonna be okay.
No wonder there's no customers.
Um, you know, I was thinking
maybe we should put some of the bubble bath
near the cash register.
It doesn't matter.
Why?
Look around, there's no customers.
The store's a bust.
Well, I'm sure that'll pick up.
You just need to do, like, a Facebook page
with coupons, or you should just Instagram everything.
Maybe I'm just not cut out for retail.
Yes, you are. Don't say that.
Your products are amazing. I use them all the time.
You do?
Yes.
Which ones?
This one!
That's tile cleaner.
Yeah.
I use it on my feet.
Really gets those rough spots.
Hey, what about if you used the party this year
to really promote your store?
[ sighs ]
That's another thing.
I think I'm gonna cancel the party.
Why?
Because those parties are expensive,
and this store's not making any money,
so I'm a little worried.
You can't do that!
People count on this party.
They count on the party? For what?
For happiness, for holiday joy.
Those people deserve to feel like they're welcome
at a big Beverly Hills house at the holidays.
Why?
Because there's nothing better than getting dressed up
in your best clothes and forgetting all your worries.
You provide that for these people.
- Yeah, I guess you're right. - Right?
Well, then this party has to be the best it's ever been.
That's the spirit.
Hey, wait, where are you going?
Well, to get this party started.
But what about the customers?
That's right, I forgot.
Wait for me.
I'm calling Anastasia.
Something to mimic an opulent Dr. Zhivago vibe.
Ooh.
Wouldn't it be fun to bring in a huge bear?
It can sit right on the stairs right here.
A black bear simply screams, "Russia!"
I don't think that really screams, "Christmas."
You're right, of course.
- No bear. - Yeah.
Hey, I could dress like the top of a Christmas tree.
Oh, well, it's not really a costume party.
The theme is just about the decor, my dear.
Um, is there any other theme that doesn't
have the word "opulent" or "luxurious"?
I'm just a little nervous about how much
these decorations are going to cost.
[ laughs ]
Very funny, Carolina. I always like your sense of humor.
But, it could be something like, I don't know,
a little more Dickensian, you know?
With not a lot of decorations,
or food.
Like Scrooge?
Yes, that would be amazing.
What about a Middle Eastern thing, like,
Santa's Harem, big parachute pants?
That's still a costume party.
So, we start right away.
I bring Sasha, Yenoz, Sebastian and Hugo,
we get to work.
Wait, four assistants?
I was really just thinking no assistants.
What? No assistants?
[ laughs ]
That's so funny.
You're really worried about expenses, aren't you?
Yeah, the accountant called and
said that we're behind on our bills
and that our savings have dropped significantly.
But I thought you and Michael had plenty of money?
Yeah, so did I, but the accountant is saying differently.
Well, you have to talk to Michael about this.
I can't talk to him about anything.
Haven't you noticed?
Yes, I have, but he's your husband.
You have to have, like, a dialogue.
That's easier said than done.
You know what, maybe I should just call this whole thing off,
and just do a smaller version of the party.
I just put a deposit on your credit card.
We're already getting started.
Oh.
Well, maybe not.
She's so Russian.
Anastasia, the party's not for another three weeks.
What are you doing here?
Katie thought we should bring them in early.
Small rental charge.
I was drinking.
We need to get everyone in a festive, happy mood.
You call that straight? Hang it right or I fire you!
Where was I?
Uh, something about a festive and happy mood.
Oh, yes, of course.
Festive!
Moved that over there.
Is there a way that we could just postpone this part?
Postpone?
I do not understand your English.
[ sighs ]
Only when I'm trying to save money.
I need painter's tape.
Painter's tape?
Just doing some touch-ups on the walls.
Where we need to speckle.
Speckle?
- Speckle? - Speckle?
Spackle.
Yes, darling, why are you repeating
everything I'm saying?
Are you ill?
Oh, I don't think so.
Stay away from me.
Girls, come here.
This is not good here.
I'm sorry she's so intense.
That's okay.
She's so Russian.
Hey, hon, what's up?
Can you pick up some painter's tape on your way home?
Painter's tape? Uh, yeah, but why?
Um, just some spackling.
Spackling, huh?
Yeah, okay.
Where are you, by the way?
Oh, I'm actually on my way to court.
So late?
Yeah, babe, I'm pretty sure that's why they call it night court.
Uh, okay. Well, see you later.
Okay. I'll see you in a little while.
Love you. Bye.
Love you, too.
Oh, man.
Yes, that's two extra-large meat-lovers pizzas.
Uh, does Hugo need an entire pizza all to himself?
He's a big man, Hugo.
Yes, and some pasta balls and chicken wings.
Oh, um, wait, is that
entirely necessary?
Well, it's this many, or I have to install two more chandeliers.
Not chicken rings, chicken wings!
We'll just stick with lights, then.
Extra-large deli platter.
Oh, no, no, no. A platter? Really?
Hey, Caroline?
Have a little status update.
This can't wait?
Everything's going great.
That Anastasia sure knows how to handle a crisis.
What crisis?
Oh, nothing, it's just a medium sized hiccup.
Don't worry about it.
Listen, I think we should talk,
'cause I'm a little bit concerned about--
[ banging ]
Who could that be now?
Oh, you relax, I'll get it. It's probably just the construction crew.
Construction crew?
Yeah, I'm sure it's just minor stuff.
Stop knocking, you hillbilly!
Nothing is minor right now.
[ sighs ]
Bubble and Caroline Anderson lawsuit.
Intentional infliction of emotional distress.
One million dollars?
Maybe you should call her.
Were you just looking over my shoulder?
What difference does it make?
It looks like Caroline could be in trouble.
Yeah, this woman is going to sue Caroline for infliction of emotional distress
over a bubble bath. It's ridiculous!
Still that is a lot to handle with everything else going on right now.
Wait, what is that supposed to mean?
That means I think you and Caroline should talk.
Yeah, well, this woman won't win.
I will counter sue and take her for everything she's got.
Don't be such a doofus! You think that's the right thing to do?
Oh, is it right of her to file a bogus lawsuit
for infliction of emotional distress
over a bubble bath?
No, but maybe she's just desperate.
I bet there's a lot more to that story.
I'm watching you.
[ typing ]
[ sighs ]
- Honey? - Honey?
Oh.
No, ladies first.
Okay, sure, uh...
How's your new job?
It's going.
It's okay, you know, I'm learning a lot.
Wait, how's Bubble?
It's great, yeah. Sales are happening.
Great.
- Bubble's going under. - I don't have a job.
- What? - What?
Well, yeah.
Bubble needs to close. It's a disaster.
I thought you just said sales were good.
Well, no, I said that sales were happening.
Which they were. Four times.
This week.
One lady thought I was a grocery store.
Uh, so you don't have a job?
No, I basically do not have a job.
I kinda lied.
I'm sorry, but I just didn't want you to worry.
Well, I guess I should be angry, but,
I kinda can't be because I wasn't exactly honest
with you about the store.
Michael, what are we gonna do?
I have been doing everything I can,
but nothing seems to be working.
I just can't seem to find a job that will pay enough
to support us.
But anything's gonna help. Anything.
I've tried everything. I've tried calling every number in my phone.
Honey, why didn't you tell me?
Honestly, I wanted to tell you.
I just didn't know how.
I'm so sorry, babe.
No, I'm sorry. Nobody wants my products,
and now neither of us are making money.
You're being hard on yourself.
It's not that nobody wants your products.
It's just that nobody knows about them.
Your products are amazing.
- Really? - Yeah.
You think so?
Yeah, I know so.
You know what, I was thinking maybe we should start a website
for the store.
Help reach out, right?
That's not a bad idea.
This is nice.
Nice?
Well, not the near bankruptcy part,
but the you and I talking part.
The us working things out together.
I miss it.
What happened to us?
I think that we have been married
for a long time,
and we got stuck in a rut.
Yeah, we definitely have been distant the past couple years.
I mean, I've been busy with work,
and you've been extremely busy with the store and the kids.
Yeah, and somewhere along the line we just lost us.
I miss us, I really do.
Hey, you know what this reminds me of?
What?
Our very first Christmas together in Georgia.
Oh, don't start.
Yeah, I was in law school then.
We were so broke.
[ laughing ]
Broke doesn't even describe it.
We didn't have money for presents,
or decorations.
You know what, I don't even think we had furniture.
Oh, no, we did, we have that couch
that we found on the side of the road,
and we hauled it up four flights of stairs
That's right, we loved that couch.
Right.
But honey, that was a long time ago.
We shouldn't be back where we started.
Babe, we're not back where we started.
Are you sure?
Because we're broke again,
and really, we just traded out your student loan
for a mortgage and a private school tuition.
And now you don't have a job,
and my store is on the brink of closing.
We are bleeding red ink.
Babe, it doesn't matter.
Listen, we have each other.
The kids... and we're still in love, right?
Yes. Yes, we are.
See, money isn't everything.
What matters the most is family.
But I don't even know how we fell into this trap.
I mean, keeping up with the Joneses?
Always trying one up Ray and Pattie?
Always trying to impress everybody all the time.
And it really didn't make us any happier,
so what was this all for?
I don't know.
You know what's worse, though?
What?
That we both lost our southern accents.
Ooh.
Oh, wow.
We haven't kissed in weeks.
Oh, really?
And you haven't kissed me like that in forever.
Well, there's plenty more where that came from, pretty lady.
Hmm.
I love you, Michael.
I love you, too, Caroline.
And you know what? You are an excellent lawyer.
You're gonna find something.
Thank you.
Oh, that reminds me.
I have to tell you something.
You know that customer of yours, Gertrude?
Eww, yeah. Why?
Well, she's gonna sue us for a million dollars.
What?
Yep, she claims she suffered emotional distress
when she found out your bubble bath was called a bath bomb.
Oh, well, now, that's ridiculous.
Yeah, it is ridiculous.
Looks like we might be getting a taste of our own medicine.
I have an idea, though.
Well, yeah, you're going to sue her for triple our money, right?
No, I have a better idea.
I think I came up with something that's gonna work well.
But Michael, we need--
No, you said that I was a good attorney, right?
Yes.
Well, then, sweetie, trust me.
I do.
Hey, Jeff, thanks for calling me back, I appreciate it.
Sure thing, though it's kind of weird to be investigating
a case against Caroline, don't you think?
Yeah, I know, and I owe you one, buddy.
Well, to me it looks like this Gertrude lady
is out for the money.
She has pretty serious debt, you know.
How bad? I didn't get a chance to go over
that paperwork you sent me.
Well, some credit cards,
but most of it's from Morgan Brothers funeral home.
Her mom died, she can't pay the bills on unemployment.
She's a paralegal, right?
For 14 years at Procman's firm,
but they let her go about two months ago.
She must have had a bad year
but I'm not sure it's about the money this time.
Hey, any chance you could send me her address?
Sure, I'll text you right now.
Appreciate it, thanks, man.
Your welcome.
Yes?
Who-- who are you?
Hi, Michael Anderson.
Gertrude Thompson, right?
I'm here in regards to the lawsuit your filed
against Bubble, my wife Caroline?
What are you doing here?
I was wondering if I could have a few moments of your time.
No. No, no, no.
I will see you in court.
No, no, no, please. Gertrude, please.
Just give me a moment, that's all I ask.
I brought lunch.
Oh, and you think that's just gonna convince me
to open the door?
No, no, not al all. It's really more of a peace offering.
I was hoping we could chat about the case,
and maybe eat like civilized people.
It's Chinese, your favorite.
How did you know that?
I did my research.
Listen, Gertrude, I know you lost your job.
And that's just not fair.
You've been spying on me.
No, not at all.
I called in a favor from my old law firm,
the investigator there looked into it.
You want to talk me out of suing, aren't you?
Sort of.
But I looked into your case,
and honestly, there's really no way you can win.
And the more I looked into it,
the more I saw your personal issues.
And I want you to know that I'm here to help.
I know about your mom,
and I know you've taken care of her
for quite a long time.
When she needed me.
Yeah, I bet.
It must be difficult not having her around anymore.
I had her and I had my job.
And now I don't have either one.
I mean, I have interviewed everywhere,
and there is just nobody hiring.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
Believe me.
But Gertrude, I'm serious when I say
I want to help. I'm here to help you.
I don't trust anybody,
especially a lawyer and why, why would you want to help me?
Because that's what good people do.
Especially during Christmas time.
That would be nice.
Thank you.
By the way, you can just call me Gertie.
Yeah, of course.
Gertie, I like that.
[ knocking ]
What can I do for you, son?
Hey, Dad, I have someone I'd like you to meet.
Gertrude Thompson, nice to meet you, sir.
You can just call me Gertie.
Nice to meet you. What's this all about?
Wow, your desk is really a mess.
It's always this messy by 10 A.M.
She's to the point, I appreciate that.
Dad, listen, I know you're going to need a new paralegal
when Joanne goes on maternity leaves,
and Gertrude here would be a perfect fit.
Uh, we're fully staffed, Michael,
but with your gross negligence we are on a hiring freeze.
Excuse us.
Why are you finding her a job when you should be looking for one yourself?
Because it's the right thing to do and she could really use the work.
I never thought I'd hear you talking about doing
the right thing in this office.
Wow.
You're good.
When can you start?
Thank you, sir. Thank you so much.
Anastasia, what's going on?
Gone, it's all gone.
Why?
You canceled my services, so it all goes away.
No, no, I just put a stop to anything going forward.
I already paid you for what you did.
I do not do half of a job, Miss Anderson.
You either get it all or nothing.
The holly goes, too. It all goes away.
But you can't do that.
Yes, I can. Read your contract.
Pages 23 section 4C clearly states everything.
Please don't do this.
The party's tonight.
I have no choice. I am an artiste.
I do not paint half of a painting.
Let's just talk and maybe negotiate another price.
I do not negotiate.
What's going on?
Oh, don't worry, kids, it's just a little misunderstanding.
Why are they taking everything down?
Yeah.
Come on, I want you to help me with something.
- Okay. - All right.
Come on, let's go.
Whoa, what happened to all the decorations?
It's a long story.
Honey, we have to talk.
Mom, Dad, come in here!
We have a surprise for you!
What is this, guys?
Ready?
Yeah.
Both: It's a Christmas tree!
Looks a little old, doesn't it?
It's vintage.
Okay, we got it in the dumpster behind the Christmas tree lot,
but that's where I get all my trees.
I haven't bought one since 1995.
We know it's not a lot,
but we can still have a tree.
[ sighs ]
I love it.
And so do I.
Good work, guys.
Too bad Anastasia took all the ornaments with her.
Actually, I think I have a solution.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
[ laughing ]
That was pretty funny.
Yeah! Oh, my gosh.
Wow, and this if from the year
that you guys were born.
That's right.
- Can I see? - Yeah.
Oh, and this...
was when you were in preschool.
And you always got hungry, so you ate off the macaroni.
No, I didn't.
Yes, you did, buddy, that's why we had to move it to the top of the tree.
Is this you guys?
Yes, it is.
You guys were so young.
Yes, we sure were,
and then you two happened, and now look at us.
Exactly.
I can't believe we always had these things.
Why don't we ever use them?
Well, honey, I think we just thought that
a fancy Christmas was better.
I like these ones more than the ones Anastasia brings over.
Yeah.
Me too, honey. Me too.
Me three.
- Hi. - Oh, hey, Katie, how are you?
Thank you so much for everything, by the way.
Oh, absolutely.
We're really happy that you're here this year.
It's just unfortunate that you can't experience
an Anderson Christmas party.
Why not?
Well, I mean, look around.
Pretty much canceled, right?
We got to start calling people and let them know.
If we're canceling the party,
then we're canceling Christmas for everyone.
He's right.
People can't make new plans by tonight,
so that's not fair.
How are we suppose to have this amazing Christmas party without Anastasia?
Yeah, and we can't spend anymore money.
Oh, hold up.
I know you don't have any money,
but that doesn't mean you can't have a kick-butt Christmas!
I mean, your aunt Katie's never had any money,
and I never had a lame holiday in my life,
except for the time I went to jail.
But those charges were dropped.
I mean, like I would shoplift.
But if we all pitch in, we can do it!
I'll do whatever it takes.
It's for the families.
We don't need any money.
You're right, we can just make our own decorations.
[ sighs ]
Okay, Christmas party's back on, everyone!
Let's get to work!
Yay!
Where'd you get the holly, Aunt Katie?
The empty lot down the street.
You know, there are free resources all around
if you just know where to look.
Oh.
Seems like your free resources are moving.
[ gasps ]
Are there rats in Beverly Hills?
Uh, there's definitely something big in there!
Oh, no, no, no! I don't do rats!
[ screaming ]
[ laughs ]
Ashton, what is the deal with you and all this popcorn and stuff?
Brendan said he wanted some,
and I already ate all of yours.
So I got some from the Cohens.
The socks are from the Rubensteins,
and this box, I don't know what's in it, from the Goldsteins.
All right, fair enough, buddy.
Hey, honey.
Where did Ashton go?
To Jimmy's house to get some gingerbread cookies.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Oh, you going to have enough for that?
[ chuckles ]
Whoa, whoa!
Why is your father on the roof?
Oh, hey, guys.
Don't worry, I'm okay. I got this.
I have no idea, but I'm almost done with these.
Okay, well, I guess I'll cross that off the list.
Where'd you learn how to make these?
Oh, my mother taught us.
Oh, she did?
Well, not exactly like this.
See, she'd make Michael's mom and me
these hair wreaths for the sweet potato festival.
Oh, yes, I remember that festival.
My mom used to take me to that.
You know, those festivals are still an annual tradition
in Ocilla.
They are?
Seems like so long ago.
Yeah.
[ sighs ]
I'm really happy that you're here.
I am, too.
I'm grateful for you, you know.
You are?
Yeah, you have this unique ability
to bring out the best in people.
Caroline...
You're gonna make me cry.
- Oh... - Stop it.
[ chuckling ]
Okay, let's make these wreathes.
Okay.
Hey.
What's, uh, with all the Valentine's day decorations?
Well, they're red, aren't they? I'm just gonna repurpose them.
Brilliant.
You know I'm proud of you, right?
Oh, well, I wish I felt that way.
I'm just really disappointed that Bubble didn't work out.
It's gonna be fine.
You know why?
Because you're both smart and creative,
two big reasons I fell in love with you.
Hmm. Yeah.
I just wish that translated to the store.
Well, there's a lot of pressure owning your own company.
Especially in the first year, right?
But you'll figure it out.
That's why I fell in love with you.
- Oh, really? - Mm-hmm.
Are you sure it has nothing to do with my superior ivy weaving skills?
[ laughing ]
No, honey, it's because you've always been so supportive of me.
Thank you, sweetie. That means a lot.
Hey, pass the tape.
Toss the scissors, please.
No, don't toss the scissors.
Nobody needs the emergency room right now.
Guys, how many more of these do we have to make?
Excuse me, until we make enough to cover every window of your giant house.
Well, suddenly, I'm wishing we didn't have so many windows.
Oh boy, I don't know how many more I can take.
Hand cramp, hand cramp, hand cramp!
Oh, come on, suck it up, people.
This is go time!
Here, put these frozen peas on your hand.
They help.
Where did those come from?
Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.
Oh, boy, okay.
Just go get ready for your party,
I've got the food.
What does that mean, exactly?
It means go get ready for your party, I got this.
That doesn't mean you're gonna order, like, 100 pizzas?
No, it's gonna be perfect, trust me.
I trust you.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
Get pretty.
This looks fantastic!
It really does.
Oh, look what you did!
Look at the bows.
Wow.
I just can't believe we pulled this off.
I know, this is great.
I'm so proud of everyone.
Well, with this one in charge, I knew it would happen.
She's so tough.
Tonight's gonna be fun, guys.
Yep.
- [ doorbell rings ] - Oh, yeah.
Well, I think it's gonna start
a half hour early.
Hey, guys.
It's Ray and Pattie.
Hey.
Sorry we're a little late,
Ray couldn't decide what to wear.
That's okay.
But we have something we'd like to show you outside.
Is everything okay?
Everything is fantastic.
Come on. Come on!
- All right. - Let's go.
Woo-hoo!
[ chattering ]
Decorations!
Pattie, what is this?
Well, when we heard about Anastasia, we decided--
- Thanks, Pattie. - To take down all of our Christmas decorations
and bring them over here for you guys.
Hey, look, I'm really sorry about what your dad did.
No, it's okay.
A good man got the job, and besides,
I needed some time away from the firm anyway.
Does that mean I get my watch back?
Heck, no, I sold that thing a while ago,
but look at this, got myself a nice ten dollar digital.
[ laughs ] Nice.
Where's the food?
Don't worry, I have a plan.
But people are gonna be here in a couple of minutes,
and we need to feed them.
Caroline, I swear on a stack of cookbooks,
it's gonna be here.
Yeah, go, have a drink.
Or two.
That's what I'm gonna do.
Now, where is the wine?
They don't have any!
Bunch of hillbillies.
Caroline?
I didn't think they could pull it off without me,
but look, it's wonderful!
The homemade decor, the potluck catering!
Caroline!
Such inspired choices for a homemade Christmas theme.
The nostalgia of a simpler time.
It's sublime!
Oh!
Yep.
Oh, thank you.
Let's go to the kitchen!
See, I told you I could do it.
Yes, you did.
And I should have trusted you.
Yes!
I used to be a birthday party princess,
so I have a knack for this.
- You were a princess? - Yes.
Now there's too much food.
See, I told you.
Christmas potluck.
Mmm, Katie, look at this one.
Where would you like me to put this amazingness?
Put that in my mouth.
No, put it over there.
Okay.
Oh my God.
This, like, this chocolate
is like talking to me.
It's saying, "Eat me."
[ crowd chattering ]
You have got to be kidding me.
I think we look adorable.
Yes, you do look adorable.
Okay, now, remember don't eat more that you're passing out.
- But-- - But--
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
I don't want to hear it. You guys can stay up late
and drink all the hot chocolate you want.
- Deal. - Deal.
Our children really are adorable, huh?
Thanks for the cookies.
Ah!
Oh, hey, excuse me, I'll be right back.
Hey, how are you?
Good to see you. Come on in.
Sweetie, I want to introduce you to Gertrude.
Yes, I remember.
I didn't get the chance to properly introduce myself
the last time we met, Mrs. Andersen.
I'm Gertrude Thompson.
Well, it's nice to meet you,
but I really don't think that this is the right time
to discuss this lawsuit.
Hon, it's okay.
I actually invited her.
I wanted to thank you and your husband
for helping me find a job.
You husband introduced me to his father
and he offered me a position as his legal assistant.
Oh, he did?
He did.
But more importantly,
I owe you an apology.
Filing that lawsuit was not right.
I got scared.
I was unemployed.
I thought I needed money,
but then I realized...
That money doesn't solve all your problems, right?
You're definitely correct about that.
But what is important is that we truly understand
what is important to us in life.
Hey, don't be so serious, it's a party!
Hi, I'm Aunt Katie.
Hi, I'm... well, just call me Gertie.
Okay, Gertie, I'll call you that.
♪ Jingle bells Jingle all the way ♪
[ children laughing ]
Aren't you just full of surprises?
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way ♪
♪ Oh what fun it is to ride ♪
All right, um...
Excuse me, everyone, hey!
Welcome to this year's Andersen Christmas party.
If you'd like, you could decorate a cookie in this room.
You can cut your own snowflake in the den,
or you can make a Christmas card for an at-risk family
in the guest room.
Thank you very much for coming.
Thank you.
So, the decorations look incredible.
Thank you.
I never would have thought of this as a theme,
but I think it's perfect.
Yeah, I do.
I think this is your best one, yet.
Thank you.
Sharon, how are you doing?
The first step is to grab a handful of M&Ms.
They're too pretty to eat!
Eh.
Almost.
Now, now, now, now.
The trick is all in how you spread the icing.
You want to make sure the entire surface of the cookie is covered.
Then you have space to work with.
See, it's scientific.
Yes.
Honey, did you know that you father was a pastry chef?
No, I had no idea.
And he probably should have stuck with it,
because I've never seen him this happy.
Actually, everybody looks really happy.
And it's all because they're just getting involved with making something.
Or another one of your inspired ideas.
Hmm.
What, what is it?
Well, I think that's what I should do at the store.
What do you mean?
I think I got caught up
with thinking that people wanted something
expensive or exclusive
when really all they want to do is put their hands on something.
Well, we should have a make your own soap counter at Bubble.
People could pick their scent,
like lavender, or lemon verbena,
or they could put, like, soap additions:
oatmeal, crushed almonds,
and then they could come in groups and parties.
I absolutely love it.
Yeah! I should call the supplier tomorrow.
Yes.
Hey, you guys, look what you're standing under.
Oh, boy.
Michael, you haven't kissed me under the mistletoe
since, well, before the kids were born.
Well, then I guess I owe you a kiss.
Ooh!
[ applause ]
Oh, hey, listen, so my wife's sister's in town,
so I brought her.
Nice. I can always count on you, Ray, for a couple plus ones.
Well, look one of her friends happens to be pretty high up
in the D.A.'s office, and I thought you should meet him.
Yeah, of course, and I'm absolutely free right after Christmas.
Well, I was thinking more like right now since he's right over there.
Oh, really.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely, let's do this.
Let's do it.
Hey, guys, so, this year we're doing
the Andersen gift exchange a little differently.
Julia, Brendan.
Wait, wait, wait.
First, we have a surprise.
Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
Santa!
Let me through, ho, ho, ho!
You're not as fat as Santa.
Ho, ho, ho!
Merry Christmas, everyone!
As you know, we asked each of you to come up with an idea
for a gift that wouldn't cost any money.
This year is all about giving yourself to others.
Brendan, Julia, will you please explain?
Everybody takes a stick out of the bowl.
And whatever your stick says, that's your Christmas present.
And if you get your own,
you have to grab a different one.
There you go.
Okay, kids, go ahead.
[ chattering ]
Kids, come on back.
We love you guys.
We love you, too.
Okay, guys, you can turn your sticks over now.
I got... I got free baking lessons from Mr. Andersen.
No talking about the baking to anyone in the office.
[ chuckling ]
Free lawn mowing for a month.
Thank you, Brendan.
I got free carpool services for my kids.
I got free guitar lessons.
Oh, good.
A hot stone massage.
That sounds painful.
Oh, I almost forgot.
Gorgeous wife, I have one 'specially for you.
Oh, sweetheart.
Michael, I love you.
I love you, too.
Merry Christmas.
You look happy.
- I do? - Yeah.
Well, that's because I am.
I wasn't going to tell you until after the party,
but Ray brought somebody this evening.
Well, yeah, Patty told me somebody from the District Attorney's office.
Yeah, but not just somebody.
The district attorney.
You're kidding.
No, I'm not. Apparently, they lost a couple A.D.A.s,
and they want me.
Oh, honey, no, no, that's amazing.
Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't start until the second.
- Shh, shh, shh. - I wouldn't be making as much money.
No, it's fine. We're gonna make this work.
Yes, we are.
- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas, sweetie.
We want to thank everyone for coming tonight.
This has been an amazing holiday evening
and we are all very blessed to have each other.
When people talk about how special the holidays are,
it's not just about parties and presents.
What matters most, and we all know this,
is family and friends.
And if we have that, we don't need anything else.
So thanks again, you guys.
Happy holidays, and who's ready for some snow?
[ cheering ]
I love you guys!
How did you pull this off?
I have no idea.
♪ It's Christmas
♪ Favorite time of year ♪
♪ It's Christmas ♪
♪ Friends and family cheer ♪
Katie, we love you.
♪ Christmas, Christmas
Merry Christmas, everyone!
♪ It's Christmas
♪ Favorite time of year ♪
♪ Yeah, you know it's true ♪
♪ My favorite part of Christmas ♪
♪ Is you ♪
This is amazing, we're having a baby!
Oh...
Honey?
- I'm sorry. I got you. - It's okay.
- I got you. - It's okay.
I was just freaking out a bit.
I know, it's okay.
Okay. Whoo.
Just keep breathing, babe. Keep breathing.
I got you, I'm sorry.
We're having a baby!
- Yeah, again. - Again.
Okay. Here we go, here we go.
- Dad! - Dad! Wait for us!
[ gasps ]
Michael, why are you breathing heavy?
I'm having the baby.
Good question.
Just keep breathing, baby.
I really wish my mom were here.
Oh, don't worry, babe, she's looking down on us right now
making sure everything's gonna go as planned.
We'll be fine.
Okay, love you, Mom.
And I love you, Caroline.
[ Caroline gasps ]
I cannot imagine doing this with anybody but you, babe.
You better never do this with anyone else.
I didn't mean it like that. You know what I meant.
Whoa, just keep going!
There's a stop sign, babe.
I don't care!
Faster!
[ siren blares ]
Hey, what's that?
Michael!
Is that the cops, Michael?
Yes, that is the cops behind us again.
Please, just go.
Go, just go.
Go, go! Please go.
I'm going, I'm going.
Do not stop, you know I do not want to have this baby on the side of the road.
No, no, we are not going through that again.
I promise.
Right guys? Guys?
Oh, boy.
Michael, you left the kids?
Well, technically, we left the kids.
Don't you dare!
Why, what's the big deal?
I leave them at home by themselves all the time.
What? Michael!
♪ Christmastime is here Get your bells on ♪
♪ Ring-a-ling-a-ling ♪
♪ See him in the kitchen, see him at the store ♪
♪ See him wrapping presents and then go an wrap some more ♪
♪ See him hanging lights up on the Christmas tree ♪
♪ Everybody's waiting for you and me ♪
♪ We got to jump on the sofa ♪
♪ And move our feet around
♪ Singing a jolly jingle ♪
♪ Bringing old St. Nick back to your town ♪
♪ So we can jump, dance, sing ♪
♪ Jingle boogie, baby Do your thing ♪
♪ Kris Kringle jump, dance, sing ♪
♪ You know you're loving it ♪
♪ Jump, dance, sing ♪
♪ Christmastime is here ♪
♪ Carolers coming 'round brining cheer ♪
♪ Christmastime is here ♪
♪ Santa Claus, where you at? ♪
♪ You must be near ♪
♪ The kids are waiting for you, been waiting all year ♪
♪ The waiting for your very special flying reindeer ♪
♪ They're waiting for the toys made specially by you ♪
♪ So come around to our town ♪
♪ The party needs a Santa ♪
♪ We got to jump on the sofa
♪ And move our feet around ♪
♪ Singing a jolly jingle ♪
♪ Bringing old St. Nick back to your town ♪
♪ Jump, dance, sing ♪
♪ Jingle boogie, baby Do your thing ♪
♪ Kris Kringle jump, dance, sing ♪
♪ You know you're loving it ♪
♪ Jump, dance, sing
♪ Temperature's rising
♪ And it's not so cold outside ♪
♪ Got this crazy feeling
♪ Filling me with what I call its yuletide ♪
♪ Christmastime is here ♪
♪ Everybody's favorite time of year ♪
♪ Oh, yes it is ♪
♪ Christmastime is here ♪
♪ Get your bells on
♪ Ring-a-ling-a-ling ♪
♪ See him in the kitchen, see him at the store ♪
♪ See him wrapping presents and then go an wrap some more ♪
♪ See him hanging lights up on the Christmas tree ♪
♪ Everybody's waiting for you and me ♪
♪ So we can jump, dance, sing ♪
♪ Jingle boogie, baby Do your thing ♪
♪ Kris Kringle jump, dance, sing ♪
♪ You know you're loving it ♪
♪ Jump dance sing ♪