Shalom. You at the airport yet?
Hey, Usher. No. I'm on my way.
I'll go say bye to Monica then head to the airport.
Why would you do that? Isn't she coming with you?
No, Dad. She'll fly down next week.
She has this big audition with some choreographer.
A Czech guy. Vialik or something...
So, you're coming to introduce her but she's not coming.
Bring a picture then.
Usher, I'm telling you she is coming. Aren't you listening?
- Look, I need you to do me a favor. - What?
I need a pair of Velcro sneakers, size 46.
For a boy in the hospital. He's to have a valve set in his brain.
And you tell me now? Can't you get them in Buenos Aires?
Not a size 46. They need to be Velcro too.
He has coordination problems and he can't handle shoelaces.
- Size 46. Loafers. - Not loafers!
- Velcro sneakers! - Leather. With Velcro.
- You hear me? - I gotta go or I'll miss my flight.
- If you need, I can wire you some money. - Okay.
A pair of shoes. Size 46. With Velcro.
Could I get them on my way to the airport?
Aren't you coming over before you leave?
I won't make it, honey. I can't.
It's the first time Usher asks for a favor. I want to do it.
Do they sell shoes at the Duty Free?
Ariel, is this punishment for not going with you?
No, it's not that, honey.
I'm just telling you I need to buy some Velcro shoes.
That's all. What should I do?
Whatever.
What I loved the most when I was a kid
was eating crackers with caramel spread.
Without them breaking.
I would put them together,
then pull them apart and check how much caramel was on each cracker.
Then I would eat the one that had the most first.
But what I liked the most was the preparation of the cookies.
In that respect, I took after my dad, Usher.
He likes preparations more than the actual event.
What he's doing there is ironing my school uniform.
He made the rosette pin in the morning.
Now he's giving it the final touch.
He made it because it's Flag Day tomorrow.
I think he's done. I don't see a single wrinkle.
The phone will ring soon.
Usher picks up, but doesn't ask who's calling.
He never cares about that.
Turns out some guy in the neighborhood passed away
and they need ten people to bury him.
They have nine so far.
They must be asking him to come over.
I almost asked him if he's going to a stranger's funeral
or to see me: alive and holding the flag.
I'd rather believe, right? I'd rather believe he will.
MONDAY
Hey, Hercules. Where's Usher?
Couldn't make it. He's dealing with a meat situation.
Where's your wife?
She didn't come. I'll tell you about it. Let's go.
- The suitcase? - In here. The car's full.
She's working, she's a dancer.
She's retiring this year though.
Because of the kids.
What?
The kids, if you want to have kids, she can't be dancing all day long.
You're right.
Once she's in the neighborhood, it's so hot you'll reproduce like rabbits.
JUSTICE JULY 18, 1994
Now it's Norberto's turn!
Come here! Sergio!
Excuse me. I'm a friend.
I know people here. Susy! Susy!
Susy!
- He's cutting! - I'm a friend of hers.
He's the boss' son!
- Hi! Come in! - How are you, aunt Susy?
- Is my dad inside? - He's not here to steal anything. Come in.
When's our turn?
- Did you bring the shoes? - Yes, size 46 as requested.
- Let me see. With Velcro? - No, they have shoelaces.
They're no good. Didn't Usher tell you "no shoelaces"?
Whatever, follow me.
Hello.
- Hello. - Come this way.
What's up with that wig? What happened to it?
Let's take it to the hairdresser's and get it dyed.
Do you have one with four legs?
I don't work here, I'm sorry.
Take these. Twice a day.
Noemí, here's two of these.
Thank you, Rosita. God bless you.
Look...
Look. Tie them up with the rubber bands in groups of four.
Susy, excuse me.
Are you sure they're not expired?
No, they're not expired.
Is Usher around?
Hello.
Because Hércules rescued one...
Hi.
You can't touch her, kid. She's an orthodox.
The old ones you can touch, no problem.
- How are we on beef? Any news? - We're good until Wednesday.
Any news?
I received three ovens, six mattresses and some sofas.
I returned them, 'cause they were all torn.
- Were they assigned? - Yes, to a couple about to get married.
- Is there any clonazepam? - Hold on.
Mabel, is there any clonazepam?
I only have painkillers.
No. Clonazepam's in high demand these days.
- Have you been to Goldstein's? - Hold on. I'll ask.
Eva, have we cleared out old Goldstein's apartment 8D?
- Clear it out. - No? Not yet.
Okay, then. I'll have her go over and check it out.
I have a waiting list for it.
- Is the boy there yet? - Yes, I'll put him through.
- Did he bring the shoes? - He did, but they're no good.
They have shoelaces.
- Didn't you tell him about the Velcro? - I told him.
- The girl isn't here? - No, the girl's not here either.
Everything's incomplete. Here he is. Bye.
It's your father.
- Hi, Usher. - Did you arrive okay?
Yes, I'm okay, you coming?
Yes, I'm on my way. Did you bring the shoes?
- Velcro, size 46? - No, I couldn't find Velcro shoes.
- Velcro, size 46? - What's the deal?
All you people do is bust my balls about the Velcro thing.
Are you coming or not? I'm waiting.
I'll talk to you later. It's a mess in here, I can't hear you.
Give the phone to your aunt, I need to tell her something.
- Okay, hold on. - Put your aunt on the phone.
- Aunty! - Yes.
Usher.
Tell him they called about the tickets.
Okay, bye.
Arielito, Usher wants you to go to the late Goldstein's apartment,
and check what he's left in the drawers and in the medicine cabinet.
- Goldstein? - Yes, right now.
Do you have any cell phones with data?
- The last one we've got. - Give me that.
Come on, Ariel!
Eva will go with you, so you don't get lost.
Do you need help with that?
Let me help you.
- The elevator's not working? - No.
Hello, miss.
Tell Mr. Usher that I need to stay until July.
I found the piece of land already.
- That's fine. - Thanks.
Please, ask Usher to send someone over to check the mezuzah.
Okay, will do.
I'll close the door, okay?
Should we keep this?
Bruxism.
Do you know how he died?
Hello.
What was the old man's poison? Xanax or clonazepam?
I don't know, let me see. Xanax, clonazepam...
- Just throw everything in the bag. - They've expired.
Are you meshuggener? Ignore the dates.
Take his cell phone too.
I bet it still has some data...
Aunty gave me the one I'm using now.
No, this one's almost out of data. They're useless when they run out.
Use Goldstein's. It's got a monthly plan.
It takes a while until the company notices.
Okay, will I see you later?
I have some stuff to sort out. See you at the Foundation tomorrow.
You can stay at home. I'm sleeping elsewhere these days.
The girl has the key.
- Fine, what else? - I've set up everything for you.
You'll love the suite I've set up for you two.
TUESDAY
I was about to go on stage.
It was like a show but with no audience.
I was very nervous because I had to open
with a double jump.
And then I hear this voice coming from inside me.
It's high-pitched, like the voice of a bird.
And it tells me...
"Mom, don't jump,
if you jump, I won't be able to fly."
So, I tell him: "You're a baby chicken,
of course you will be able to fly."
So, I go onstage, I do the jump,
and while I'm in the air,
a baby chicken falls out from in between my legs.
You know what I mean?
The poor thing had warned me that he wouldn't be able to fly.
Honey, baby chickens don't fly.
What's going on here sounds pretty clear to me.
I don't want to do that audition! Don't you get it?
I don't want to dance anymore! Enough! How much longer can we wait?
Honey, the audition's on Thursday. And you know the choreographer.
Then you can catch a flight. It's only a few days, I can wait.
We'll have our own baby chicken someday.
Are you stupid? Where are you right now?
Go on Skype so I can see your face at least.
Usher doesn't believe in Wi-Fi.
- I'm lucky to have any reception at all. - And where's Usher?
Excuse me. Let me through.
I'm Usher's son!
Excuse me.
Excuse me. I'm Usher's son.
I'm Usher's son.
What the hell do they want?
Come in, boy.
- What do they want? - I don't know, chicken, beef...
Beef?
They freeze it while it's wet. And then they stick together.
We can really use the party packs now that Purim's coming up.
Usher?
- Is that Usher's son? - Yes.
But what we can really use are medicines for the whole year.
These are lovely. Eva, help me out here, will you?
- Thanks. - Thank you.
- Go ahead, honey. Come on. - Yes.
Usher, this is chaos.
Word got out that Mamuñe won't be delivering beef or chicken for Purim.
Yes.
I have like 30 chickens in the freezer. That's what I thought!
I cut them in halves, but I get more breasts than legs.
Here's your boy. I'll put him through, here.
- Usher. - So, how did you like "the suite"?
Did you sleep well? Did you find the crackers?
I left them in the kitchen. Same ones you used to eat growing up.
Listen. Can you do me a favor?
Take the shoes to Marcelito Cohen. He's in the hospital.
No. Usher, Usher, Usher. Enough.
If you want to meet up, fine.
If you don't, I'll take care of my own things.
- Are you coming or not? - Yes, I'm on my way.
Write this down. I'll give you the bed number.
Bring him the shoes, two bottles of mineral water,
salted crackers, the sports newspaper.
And tip the nurse.
- Write it down, Marcelito Cohen. - Right.
Hercules can't go. He's trying to fix the meat situation.
- Marcelito Cohen. - Room number 366.
- Bed number 366. - You better hurry up.
- Bye. - Visitation hours are until...
There's glitter on your cheek.
There's some left over there. Thanks.
This one's for Usher!
- Cohen? - Yes, Cohen Marcelo.
Yes, the tall boy in the north ward.
He won't take a shower. Are you a family member?
Yes, I am.
There he is.
Marcelito, you have a visitor! Will you take a shower, please?
Hi. I've brought you some crackers, mineral water.
Did you bring me the sports newspaper?
Let him have them. I owe him a few.
Yeah. There you go.
This newspaper is old. From the past league.
Did you bring the shoes?
Here, check them out. Touch the leather.
Shoelaces? Weren't there any Velcro shoes?
No.
- Will you untie them for me? - I can't because of that thing in my head.
So, Marcelito? Will you shower and look nice for your visitor?
- No... - There you go.
He won't shower.
- Marcelito. - What?
- Don't you want to shower? - No. I don't want to shower.
- Why not? - I don't like the towels here.
They're rough. Will you bring me a soft one next time?
Do you want me to get you a towel? And then you'll shower?
I'll bring you a soft towel next time. And the right newspaper.
- Okay? - A soft towel.
Yes, yes.
- Okay. I'll take a shower then. - Good.
Would you get that, please?
Hello.
- Hello? No, I'm a family member. - Hello, Marcelito.
You're related to him now? What are you? His boyfriend?
He won't leave you anything in his will. Only the shoes.
Usher, I gave Marcelito the shoes, the crackers, the water.
I almost showered him. Will I see you soon? Where are you?
On my way. Did you take care of the nurse?
No, how?
Give her 50 pesos.
But give it to the one who's starting her shift.
Talk to the doctor. Ask him anything.
He needs to see someone's there.
We'll give him a coffee maker after the surgery.
- Okay, I'll put Marcelito through. - Okay, since you have time to spare,
stop by the Foundation and check on the mute girl.
She lives alone,
check if she needs anything. She's a good girl.
Sure.
Hi, Usher! How are you?
Yeah, he brought me an old newspaper.
The shoes have shoelaces.
I need Velcro shoes.
I told you that already.
Yes, yes.
Okay, fine.
Excuse me, this is for you. Thank you for your kindness.
Is that yarkoie?
My mom used to cook it.
It smells great!
Is there enough for both of us? Can I have some?
You're cooking for yourself. That's fine.
I'm joking.
This foundation gives away even what it doesn't have.
Is this your bedroom?
You people have this inexplicable generosity.
Suspicious even.
Don't take it the wrong way. It's my profession talking.
I'm an economist.
The way I see it, people do things to get something in return.
I give you this, you give me something better in return.
You people make the economic theory collapse.
I couldn't work here. Not for a single minute.
I keep the stuff I have unless someone takes it or I lose it.
I've always been like that.
This is delicious.
Talking to you is fun. It's like playing charades.
It's been a while since I've played... anything.
It's unbelievable. I came back to Buenos Aires
because there was someone I wanted Usher to meet, that someone didn't come.
Usher is out. He's never around.
Do you know where Usher is?
You don't?
What about you?
Do you have a boyfriend, a husband, kids?
Yes, it's my girlfriend.
I don't feel like talking to her.
I feel like we just talk and talk, but...
we don't really say anything.
Thank you.
I have to go.
It's for the best, right?
Nice talking to you.
WEDNESDAY
- Who is it? - Open up.
- Who is it? - Where are you hiding the boy?
What boy? There's no boy here. Who is it?
When will Usher be back?
I don't know, he won't be back.
Who are you? The maid?
No, I'm his son.
Right, you're a pussy just like your father.
- What do you want? - Tell Usher
I won't deliver any fucking meat.
If he wants it, He can come to my shop.
We need to talk.
Tell him Mamuñe was here.
Will you remember? Or should I write it down for you?
Unless you want to run away like your mom.
What do you know about my mother?
Why do you say that?
My mom left because she couldn't stand this stuff anymore.
All this stuff.
Your kosher cows happily dying, the "celebrations",
what you can and cannot do, the "happiness."
It's stifling.
Is that what you think?
I'm diabetic.
They made us come here for nothing.
- This is the third time I come. - Same here.
They never tell us beforehand.
Good morning, any news?
WE'RE OUT OF BEEF AND CHICKEN
We're onto it. Hercules, open up! It's Ariel!
Come in. There's a board meeting.
There's nothing left! You can go home for today
People pick up the boxes because of the meat.
They can't eat the party packs, can they?
- The Jewish carnival is coming! - Yeah!
I don't get it. What's the problem with the meat?
- You haven't paid the butcher? - Usher is taking care of that.
Here, have another one.
Thanks, aunty, is it Usher?
- Hello? - Listen.
Will you go to Mamuñe's? He's the butcher.
Purim's coming up and he hasn't delivered any meat.
I've met the butcher. He's looking for you.
What did you do to him? How could you argue with a slaughterer?
The guy is in contact with blood all the time.
It's kosher blood. It's all good.
You put on a tie and go there. He'll respect you.
Do you know where he is? Go down Lavalle St.
- Straight down past Sultani's. - Will you come with me?
Go around the corner of Boulogne sur Mer St. and you'll find him.
Our office will be set on fire if we don't give these people protein.
Stop, stop, stop.
Boulogne Sur Mer St.? This side of Córdoba Ave.?
The thing is, the fat butcher wants to die.
But since he's not dying he's trying to fuck us all up.
So why won't he give you the meat?
Ask him. I don't know.
His daughter ran away from home.
I only shelter her at the Foundation
until they sort things out.
He must be jealous.
And why did she run away?
The girl has... She knows "the truth," you know?
What truth? Why doesn't Eva talk? I don't get it.
She does talk. But...
And who's "the boy"?
Why did the butcher come to your place looking for him?
The boy used to work for the Foundation helping Eva.
And how are you involved? Where are you?
Are you on Pueyrredon Ave. yet?
Fuck! We'll waste all the data talking about the butcher's family!
Talk him into giving you the meat. Purim is coming.
Make him angry. It's the only way he'll react.
And then call me to...
Excuse me, do you have any meat left in the truck that you can give me?
Do you have a spare cow or something?
I only need a little bit. I can pay you.
Shalom.
Hello.
Excuse me, can we have a word? I'm leaving in two seconds.
If you're leaving in two seconds, why did you come in the first place?
- To discuss the meat situation. - There is no meat.
Did Usher pay you or not?
Did Usher pay me?
Here's the check, take it. He didn't pay me.
Look, I'm not from around here.
I don't know neighborhood rules
or the business regulations.
We're not doing business here. Usher is only trying to help.
Make him stop.
Before Usher showed up, we were a family...
Not barefoot, how many times have I told you!
Put your thongs on or you'll get electrocuted.
Yeah, yeah, stop bugging me!
Okay, bye.
Go on! You go too! Go with Usher to the Foundation as well!
Yes, I'm talking to you!
Did Usher help you?
Usher helps the people he chooses to help.
Look at you, he hasn't helped you. You could definitely use a hand.
Oh, send me the invoice again.
I don't want to pay tax just for nothing.
- And the credit note. - Yes, the credit note.
The Rabbi here wants a credit note.
Take these, Raúl. Come on, guys, let's move it.
- Right. - Yes.
Chop these, please.
Hi, Usher.
I talked to Mamuñe, but I couldn't sort things out.
You go see him. I'm off to a hotel to get some rest.
Monica will be here on Monday.
I'll leave the apartment keys and the check at the Foundation.
Good luck with the meat issue, the medicines and all that stuff.
I would've liked to see you.
How are you, darling?
What are you doing here, aunty?
I came to do the cleaning.
I'm on my way out. I've cleaned after myself.
So, you're leaving too?
Who else left?
This table is a mess!
Yes, I've been going through some stuff.
Why are you leaving?
Because Usher is not here.
Precisely, if Usher is not around, someone else needs to be.
But he's the father, not me.
Do you know how long Usher waited for you?
After you left, he said he wouldn't get a haircut until you came back.
He went bald waiting for you.
Aunty...
- Here's the check... - I don't touch money.
Oh, Are you an orthodox now?
No.
Eva is in charge of the keys. Give them to her.
All right, then...
Eva!
Salmon! This is luxury food!
Can you people eat salmon? Is this kosher?
How do you catch it?
With a hook in the shape of the Star of David?
So, it's forbidden, then?
It's not allowed, but it's not forbidden either.
What's the status of this fish?
Ah, parveh right.
Parveh food is neither specifically allowed nor specifically forbidden.
A sort of neutral food.
Thank you.
Are there parveh people too?
So, you do have a voice when you laugh!
So, why don't you speak?
- You have nothing to say. - No.
I mean, the salmon, the long skirt, the wig, kosher food,
in the fact that someone looks after us when we go to sleep.
How long have you been believing?
I don't...
I don't believe.
I used to believe when I was a kid, but one day I just stopped believing.
I remember it clearly, I love telling this story, do you want to hear it?
June 20, 1987, I was ten.
Usher ironed my uniform and got my rosette pin ready.
But he never showed up.
He never said he wasn't coming. I never asked him either.
He didn't come because he had to attend a minyan.
Do you know why the Jews need ten living people to bury one dead?
If you ever talk again, I want you to explain it to me,
because I still don't understand why death needs a quorum.
Why does it have to be ten people? Weren't nine enough?
Usher could've come to my school assembly.
Your son was chosen as the flag bearer. That's a big deal.
I don't know.
Can orthodox people wear rosette pins?
May I?
No touching.
No, wait, give me the phone.
Give me that. Don't make me run!
Eva!
Eva, give me that.
Give me that!
Come on!
THURSDAY
This is "La Babel," honey.
Usher used to buy me shoes here when I was a kid.
He would buy them bigger, so I could use them for a whole year.
Right. Right.
This is the only barbershop I know
where they cut your hair with your yarmulke on.
This is a building that embodies the neighborhood.
Designed by the most famous architect in the area.
But I can't remember his name.
It faces Corrientes Ave.
It's the best neighborhood to raise a child in.
This is my old elementary school. The Manuel Quintana.
See?
- I call this mall "The Gem of Once". - I need to tell you something. Honey.
You walk in on Corrientes Ave. And walk out on Sarmiento St.
It's like walking four blocks inside the mall.
- Okay. - Hey, man! Are you nuts?
- Argentines are so rude. - I have something to tell you.
- What is it? Another dream? - No, this was real.
What happened?
I was rehearsing all by myself.
I was getting ready to do a jump and a turn.
So when I'm in the air,
I lock eyes with a janitor
- who enters the room. - And?
He starts sweeping below me, and I end up floating in the air.
I don't get it. Who held you up in the air?
It was Maestro Vialik.
I was told he always does that with his disciples.
What do you mean, Monica? I don't understand.
Vialik chose me.
I'm part of his ballet company now.
I'll have to stay here for a while.
What? For a while?
- Yes, for a while. - What do you mean "for a while"?
How long? I don't get it.
What are you saying? Some guy lifting you up in the air? What is that?
The reception here is awful, Monica? How long is "for a while"?
How long?
My cell phone!
My cell phone! My cell phone!
My phone!
My suitcase!
My suitcase! My suitcase!
My suitcase!
Have you seen a guy running with a suitcase?
- What? - A suitcase! It's blue and gray.
Have you seen a guy holding a phone up?
Have you seen a guy running with a phone in his hand?
- What? - A guy running with a phone,
and a suitcase.
Have you seen a guy with a phone?
- Have you seen Usher? - I don't know.
Usher!
Usher, have you seen Usher?
Usher?
Have you seen a guy with a cell phone?
No?
A guy with a suitcase?
Have you seen Usher?
Usher?
Hey, you! Won't you say "hi" to Lucho Makaroff?
I'm Lucho Makaroff!
Hey, man! This is "Mad About Fabric"!
MAD ABOUT FABRIC
I said "No way, he's in New York."
He can't be here and not stop by to say "Hi".
And then Roz shouts from the showers
that they saw you walk up and down Lavalle St.
- Are these yours? - Yes.
I said "No way, he would come and say hi if he was here", two meters?
I don't remember everybody's name.
It's been so long, I didn't know what to do.
Come on! You of all people don't remember names?
- I don't know. - You walk into the store.
"Hey, man, what's up?" That's it.
Don't be silly!
You ended up working at your father's shop.
I remember you wanted out.
I didn't have a clue! Things were different.
This is heaven. The shop solves all your problems.
It's a tight ship that sails by itself. Look how calm my old man is.
I keep an eye on him, though. He's into online poker.
Marisa loves it, she's happy. What else could I ask for?
My kids play on the iPhone or iPad. They run around the store.
I'm happy and I have free time to do what I love.
What do you love?
Being here at the shop, stepping out, talking on the phone.
Keeping an eye on the Sephardim in the coffee shops.
New business ideas keep coming up. Lots and lots of them.
We're into this fattening business now. Have you heard of it?
- No. - It's a great business.
We're buying calves in the cattle market, get it?
- How does that work? - We buy a nice lot of calves.
We fatten them up for six months until they become heifers
then we go back to the market and we sell them.
- 40% profit per year. - 40% is a lot!
- A lot! Is it good business or what? - Yes.
But that's not really the good business. The real deal is to own a farm.
Right now, the owner of the farm takes 50% of the profit.
Enough of that! Now we're after our own piece of land in Tigre.
It's cheap because it gets swamped often.
- But the cows will drown? - That's not the point.
But we'll build a barrage.
It's a sort of dam. The Dutch invented it.
- Can I partake in this one? - Yes.
- Is there any room for me? No. - Remember Nico Fain?
He dated your girl ages ago. He's a Rabbi now.
He's in trouble with a mortgage on his synagogue.
- His hands are tied, 20, 40, 60, 80. - How much to get in?
Multiple of 20. Otherwise it's hard to split the profit.
- How are you doing? - Fine.
- Are you here to see your dad? - Yes, I came to see Usher.
Usher. Usher, he's so cool!
He's everywhere.
He's the King of Once.
- It's awesome! - It's great! It's great!
- I'd sign up. It's great. - Yes, it is.
- Hey, what's up? - Hi.
The place is great.
- Tefillin? - What?
There you go.
Excuse me. There you go, thanks.
Sorry.
Take off your watch. You can put it back on afterwards.
- Hey! - First time here!
Hello.
Yes, it's the first time.
He can't talk, don't talk.
A guy who's never worn tefillin,
is called a karkafta in the Talmud.
When he wears the tefillin, he enters a whole new level.
It's similar to the circumcision.
You can't talk now.
Is this your first time?
- Keep quiet. - What?
- Don't talk. - Right.
The important thing here is that you put the tefillin on.
On your arm and on your head. You can talk after that.
They are two different precepts. But the sages say one is enough.
Well done!
- Congratulations. - Well done!
- Do you want to make a wish? - No, no.
To go to the restroom.
Hold on just a second. It won't be a minute.
You're a new person now.
Where's the restroom?
Hold on. Just a second.
Take this off and then you can go.
- I really need to go. - Hold on.
I really need to pee.
It's that way.
Should we go into the pool?
Nine times. You have to do it nine times.
- Nine? - Yes, yes, go.
- Hands off the handrail. - No handrail.
Six!
Seven!
Eight!
- Nine! - Come on!
- Way to go, Ari! - Are we done?
You do it nine times, because the soul has ten levels.
You purify nine of them, but one remains intact.
The water brings you back to the origin, to the earth, to the surface.
You go back to the womb.
You cancel everything out. The fish swimming away.
FRIDAY
Excuse me.
Fine! Hold on! Excuse me.
We'll sort it out!
Okay, okay!
- Excuse me. - We want meat!
Hold on! Hold on, please!
Hold on. Hold on!
We'll eat today, we'll eat tomorrow.
Beans, pasta, whatever we have, okay?
Hold on! Hold on!
We have no beef and no chicken! Okay?
- It's not okay! - Let me explain!
There's no beef and no chicken! We can't solve this until Monday!
Where's Usher?
Usher is not here! He's not here!
Usher's not here and there's no beef or chicken until Monday.
Okay? We'll sort this out.
We'll sort it out, relax!
- What do we have? - We have pasta.
There you go! Pasta! We'll eat that!
We'll eat pasta today!
We all have to make an effort here! We'll eat pasta today.
Then comes Shabbat. Go visit some wealthy relative.
We can fast on Saturday.
We can eat at the synagogue on Saturday, it's free.
Right, we'll eat at the synagogue for free.
Sunday's Purim. Pure joy!
So, please, step away from the door.
Step aside.
We need to work and solve this problem.
We're all on the same side here. Do you want meat? Do you?
You will have meat.
We'll get the pasta ready. Come back later.
- Please and thank you. - Thank you!
Thank you.
Good.
Let's go inside.
- What's going on? - My head hurts.
Tell your husband to come.
You'll find something in one of those racks.
- What's going on? - There's a draft in my apartment.
- Do you take anything? - Xanax.
Silvana, is there any Xanax for the lady here?
Secure that box.
Do we have any Xanax?
- Prozac! - Okay, Prozac.
- Give her Prozac. It's the same thing. - What about the food?
Listen, find some bar mitzvah the lady can go to
so that she can get something to eat.
- Ricky's! - There you go, good.
Get a present for him from the box there.
She's getting married. Which wig should she use?
- You can get a haircut if you want. - Susie.
She can't make up her mind.
- Does he love you? - Yes, he does.
- Then the color is irrelevant. - He's right.
Take both of them. Your husband can help you decide.
Thank you, Mazel tov.
Would you make me some tea? The one you make is delicious.
A dice set's okay for a 13-year-old.
I'm here to save the universe today!
The queer can sing!
- That's Mumi Singer. - I'm singing.
- It's your father. - Are you Usher?
- No, how can I help you? - Well, I need...
I need a Rabbi.
- A special one. - What for?
For my bat mitzvah.
- You didn't have one? - No.
At 13, I showed up dressed as a girl to my own ceremony.
- And? - They called it off immediately.
My dad stopped talking to me. I never saw him again.
- My mother passed away not long ago. - I'm sorry.
Her wish was for me to complete the ceremony.
Right.
I've seen lots of Rabbis, but none of them solved my problem.
I need someone to do the bat mitzvah for the person that I really am.
Mumi Singer.
- Right, excuse me, Susy! - Yes?
Is there a Rabbi who owes us some type of favor and can help us out?
Yes, the one with a mortgage on his synagogue.
Can you find out who's the creditor?
It's some illegal money exchange place at one of the malls.
But Makaroff provided the money.
- Lucho? - Yes, "Mad About Fabric."
Go see him and give him this check.
Tell him I sent you. He can pay his mortgage with it.
Mumi, go with her. Give Susy this.
Go with Susy. Susy, get him to get the bat mitzvah.
Help him out, bring an invoice though.
No, Rabbis can give you a receipt, not an invoice.
No way, ask him for one. Maybe from a taxpayer friend.
- Thank you so much. - What's your name?
- Ariel. - Thank you, Ariel.
Go with her.
Boy, all good with this queer thing,
but we need the meat by Monday.
SABBATH
Are we done?
SATURDAY
I just had this... I don't know how to put it.
A revelation. A revelation that came from within.
Like a shiver that made me doubt.
What if everything was different?
The wig, the long skirt, the meat, the dairy.
What if I'm wrong?
What if nobody is watching over us?
Right now, I think we're alone here.
Well, maybe there is someone watching over us.
But he's not here right now. He's not present.
You're not sure?
I'm pregnant.
What? How?
But, who's the father?
Some guy. He helped at the Foundation.
We volunteered together.
But how did it happen?
We went into the mikveh together.
We thought nothing could happen in the mikveh.
And how's Usher involved? Why is your father mad at him?
If it weren't for the Foundation, I wouldn't have met the guy.
But who is he? Do I know him? Who is he?
He's no one. Plus, he regretted it, or got scared.
Usher hid him away.
First, from my father and then sent him to a safe place.
Where?
Israel.
It's for the best. For him and everybody.
I don't get it, Usher took your baby's father away.
I'm telling you he was nobody.
He's gone and I'm grateful to Usher because he got rid of a nobody.
A nobody.
It wasn't Usher's fault.
Usher is the father I would've liked to have.
How are you? Are you still in the neighborhood?
Yeah.
I need you to do me a favor, if you can.
- Right. - Are you okay?
Yeah, hanging in there.
We sorted out the meat problem. Fatso died.
I'm helping out with the paperwork and the errands.
Would you stop by the soup kitchen? I can't make it.
- The check, please. - Just stop by...
Way to go, Marcelo!
The former U.S. ambassador supported San Lorenzo.
The vice-president of the club told the story of how they met on TV.
A photographer asked him
if he wanted to get a picture with the ambassador.
When the ambassador died, he made headlines.
His son had been controversial within his party or something.
Happiness and peace.
Prosperity, and above all, love.
The world needs love.
That's the most critical problem for humanity.
Love and hunger. Am I right?
I want you all to sing along. You know this song.
Will you give it to me when you're finished?
When you're finished.
Well done!
I want to welcome you all.
Well done!
You all know we put our heart and soul in every Sabbath meeting,
because you fill our souls.
Thank you!
I want to share this song with all of you.
It's about our angels.
Those people who are no longer physically with us,
but are still here.
I want to share it with you.
How do you like the towel?
It's really soft! It's in the shape of a person.
It'll match the shoes with no shoelaces just great.
San Lorenzo lost. It's unbelievable.
The Pope must be so upset!
My surgery is tomorrow.
What surgery?
I don't know. It's a head surgery, I think.
They didn't explain it very well.
Do you want me to ask the nurse?
No, don't ask her. They may change their minds.
I'm happy because I'll get to go back to the synagogue.
They need me for the minyan.
I couldn't go, so the synagogue couldn't open.
They are five old men,
plus the Paraguayan maintenance guy, that's six.
The Rabbi makes seven.
The Rosenthal twins make nine.
If I'm not there, they can't open.
Do you know why the Jews need ten people to do anything?
It has to do with...
Let me see...
Usher told me the story once.
Right, I remember now.
A long time ago, Moses was in Egypt and he sent ten of his men over
to check out what Israel was like,
because he didn't want to make everybody cross the desert for nothing.
So, the guys come back and tell him
"Moses, there's nothing over there. How about we stay in Egypt?"
Moses tells God about this and God goes crazy, he's furious.
And he tells Moses
"Will you listen to this congregation of morons?"
Right. So...
- You didn't understand, did you? - No, it's not that.
You're dumb, here's the deal.
God calls the gathering of ten morons a "community".
They were just ten Jewish men, but God called them "congregation."
They were not nine, they were ten.
If they had been nine men, God would've called it
"a congregation of nine morons," and nine men would make a minyan.
We can't know that.
Do you ever ask yourself why your balls hang?
Me neither. Ten men make a minyan.
At the synagogue on Paso St. there's only nine guys.
They need Marcelito Cohen.
Are there any hot girls at the Foundation?
Marcelito...
Hello. Your family came to visit. Excuse me.
You can't eat crackers. You need to fast.
You can't drink water either.
Are we clear? Okay.
- You've got a soft towel. - Yes.
Right. Since you're staying overnight, make sure he doesn't eat any crackers.
Understood? Not a single cracker.
He'll swell like a frog and the surgeon will refuse to operate.
Do you know how to play Scattegories?
- Yes. - Let's play.
With teams from all over the world. Premier League, okay?
- I'll go first. - Okay.
"A"...
- Stop. - Letter "I".
Inter. "A"...
- Stop. - Letter "C".
Corinthians. "A"...
- Stop. - Letter "J".
Juventus.
"A"...
- Stop. - "H".
- Hebraica. "A"... - Stop.
PURIM
- Meat? - Yes, meat, at last.
For Purim! We're having a Purim celebration!
Usher!
Hey, what's up?
Give me a hand with this animal.
Can't you be normal at least once in your life?
No. No. No.
Hold the door.
Wait. It will fall on me.
- There you go. - Let's go.
- Come on. - No dragging.
- I'm not dragging it. - Okay.
Wait.
Firmly!
Watch your head.
Hold it up.
Will it close?
- No. - We can't close it.
- Yes, we can.
So?
Hello?
Yes, I heard about the butcher. It's a tragedy.
Yes. How many are there? Nine?
Hold on.
Nine guys to bury that fat butcher? That's more than enough!
I'll do it.
What?
I'll go.
Okay.