Subtitles by explosiveskull
Holy Fuck.
So like a car must have crashed into that semi or something,
a bunch of cars.
I wonder if maybe something hit that first.
Is there two semis?
I Don't know.
You see the one on fire there to the left there
is a big something...
I can't even see through the smoke.
You gotta look inside the thing and see if it
says record or not. R-E-C.
Oh Okay.
Yeah, it's going on?
- Yeah. - Alright cool.
We were just zooming up the highway and like I saw this like
fucking black billowing smoke like coming out and we didn't
know what was happening, we thought like there was a house
burning down or something...
I get panic attacks, I get panic attacks just driving
down the road because I'm all of a sudden back in Alabama,
it's always-
I'm there, it's fast, and it's so scary
because that guy hit us from behind.
And it wasn't anything I was doing, I was just driving good
and normal down the road, right?
I didn't make any mistakes.
That guy smashed us from behind and forever changed everything.
I think we had something special.
I don't think that that beauty that we could create, that art,
would just have ended.
Holy fuck you guys, look what we did...
and then look what we did.
We were young and mean to each other and we just were so
focused on the art at all costs.
And it cost us a lot in the end.
Hey man how's it going, it's Ryan.
Hey Ryan, good, how are you?
Good good, can you hear me all right?
I can hear you just fine.
Ok, I'm going to see if I can make you louder here.
OK.
I'm here with Stu, who is rejoining the band for the tour.
Oh, that's nice, yeah.
Thanks for hopping on I appreciate it.
What are the notes on the...
What's it like being back together after all that time?
Um, It feels like no time has passed and a lot of
time has passed.
I remember the idea coming up a number of years ago.
And I don't think we specifically thought like
a ten-year anniversary was the way to go, we were just talking
about getting together and doing some shows. Cause we never
really did like a last show with Jesse or anything like that.
I have only sang two days.
I sang the very first day and made my voice sound like this.
So I took two days off, and I sang yesterday,
and this is the result again.
So I'll take today off, and tomorrow.
I'm really enjoying it, I think everybody else is too, and
you know, we wrote these songs ten years ago, and we've all
been active musicians over the last decade, so I kind of think
if anything we are playing the songs better than we would have
ten years ago.
Yeah, it's nice too cause Jesse has something about
him as a singer that's very honest and passionate and
I don't know if I realized how much I missed that,
but I definitely did.
awesome so, what happened with, why did Jesse
leave and then why did you leave Stu?
Um, I mean, there was a lot of differences about how we
thought the band should happen and kind of what direction we
wanted to go and he and I rubbed each other the wrong way a
little bit on some of our personal stuff and it was
definitely a situation where we weren't going to really be able
to continue working together.
But, um, yeah yeah we...
I guess that's probably all I need to say about that.
Things in the past that might have been bumps in the
road, things that might have caused disagreements and
arguments, everybody is just kinder and older and wiser and
knows how to deal with these situations a lot better now.
It had to eventually happen, if we were more mature
we probably would have done a little bit more and made it last
a little longer, which is one of the reasons it's good we're
doing this tour, to revisit the record as probably the era ended
a little prematurely.
Anything unresolved about that doesn't really apply to these
shows you know it's not about the split, it's about the album,
and about trying to celebrate the time when the five of us
were a band.
It's a good band, man.
There's no disputing, they're such a good band.
So this is a temporary thing I take it then
or like what?
Yeah it's just for ten shows.
Just for the ten shows? So after this Stu you go back to
your other stuff, and Jesse goes back and Karl's back in and...
- Yep. - Yep.
No people ask me that question every day
that I do an interview.
But it seems like it's
never really been publicized, or has it? Cause I thought
the whole thing was like he just left to be a teacher?
I've talked openly about it here and there, pretty much
what I said like he had different ideas about...
he's just real stubborn about the way he wants things to be
handled, and that turned into being us fighting about every
single decision, so-
Do you think that will bother him though to see that
sort of stuff publicized?
I don't think so. I don't think so.
Like I said we're both at a pretty good point with it.
I don't think I threw him under the bus with that really.
Because I don't think it's more his fault than mine, I just
think it's more a problem that he had with everyone in the band
than I did, cause you know my problem was just with him so,
it's like I shouldn't leave the band you know?
I don't know.
Hey I just wanted to say sorry for not doing the
interview thing today.
You seemed a touch bummed or something so I just wanted to
make sure you knew where I was coming from.
This whole thing is super hard on this guy's heart.
I've had a lot of fun this week but there have been a ton
of mixed emotions throughout. You guys really hurt
me in the past and I likely hurt y'all as well.
I'm just not the same person as I was back then so whole trip
has been pretty crazy. An interview could bring
up old garbage that I'm trying to get over.
I think you're a great dude, an amazing dad, and one of the
greatest guitar players ever.
However, you are also someone who nearly destroyed me.
Doing an interview might bring up junk I don't need
to focus on. This whole thing is insane for me and I just
want you to know that I'm trying my best and trying to
keep everything on the up and up. Nothin' but love.
The way that the band ended, you know, it was bad.
And it hurt me alot.
And sort of when we started talking about this you know
there was times when I was really excited about doing it
and then there was other times when I was just like,
I can't do this. I can't revisit those emotions.
I can't revisit the past I've kind of gotten over it.
And to come back in the mix and be with the guys and stuff-
I knew it would be this mixed bag of emotions, you know?
And Jesse's not even coming in the van, he's going
in his own car. It's just him and his girlfriend.
I'm definitely a man of comfort.
You know my obsessive compulsive really does control, I guess,
how I live my day-to-day life a lot of the time.
So all of a sudden, being so OCD and phobic of things to go
back into a van...
Shit there's gonna be nine people in that van.
You know, my girlfriend is gonna come along.
He's got a pretty good hold on like, the fact that he
knows he's a little bit insane with some of these phobias,
and he's pretty apologetic about it and he's like "Oh I'm
sorry you guys have to put up with me and my crazy old ways".
And when he made us move rehearsal spaces, he was pretty
graceful about it I guess.
The ceiling in the space is covered with plastic but you
can still see through and see the insulation.
There is nothing falling from the ceiling, it's sealed, but
just the fact that Jesse could see the insulation with his
eyes, he never came back to that jam space again.
And we ultimately practiced the next three days without him.
You guys want to run through one more thing on
stage or are you guys good?
Well I didn't know fiberglass, that's kind of a new phobia
I think. We didn't really know that was a big thing
because it used to be duct tape.
- Adhesives. - Adhesives, yeah.
Like, I understand why he didn't want to be in there,
whatever, but it seriously just roots back to touring with him
back in the day because I didn't want to like bend over and agree
with him just because it was something he wanted his way
you know? So like, just on principle I was like
"fuck that, we're not moving jam spaces, we have to hold our
ground on this sort of thing".
It might be a good thing that I'm in here, not just
for myself, for the guys, maybe it makes it a little bit easier
on me maybe it makes it a little easier on everybody else.
Dude, classic moment just now.
This dude just came up to me and introduced himself to
me twice. And the first time he's like "oh what's up man?
How's it going? I'm John, whatever, I came here,
whatever," and then he's like... and I went out in the van and
kinda like changed my shirt and came back in and he's just like
"Yo! You're in Misery Signals, right?
You got a twin brother, I just met him over there."
At first, early on I would have been like "Oh, no,
that's Branden, that's my brother, I can't accept that"
but that conversation goes nowhere, and like they feel
awkward and now I'm just like "Yeah, fuck yeah, thank you."
Make some noise for Youth Decay!
Nihilate!
And the reason why we are all fucking here:
Misery Signals!
♪ This time..... ♪
♪ It was our summer. ♪
♪ It was something, no one could take from us! ♪
♪ Sometimes that night, seems so close ♪
♪ Like I, could hold it ♪
♪ You said alright, we'll be fine. ♪
♪ But how could we have known? ♪
♪ Do you remember? ♪
♪ Roll down the window let in night air. ♪
♪ I always thought we'd be together ♪
♪ You said we've never gone this way before ♪
Dude, so insane and so awesome but like poor Ryan is
over here in the corner shit's getting stepped on and
everything is getting unplugged.
Alright we gotta pause here for two seconds because you
guys are fucking out of control, and it's awesome,
but everybody's gotta take like two steps back and you guys
gotta step down and like everything is getting unplugged.
And I'm gonna put all my shit back together and then we're
gonna play the next song. Hold on.
I thought this show would be really good but I
didn't anticipate this.
That's probably the most technical difficulties he's
ever had, but that might have been one of the best
Misery Signals shows we've ever played.
I'm also informed that there's some sprinklers up here
you've gotta watch out for otherwise they'll
get everything wet.
That might be a bad scene.
Once again, thank you guys so so much.
Keep enjoying yourselves.
Just please watch old Ry's pedals here.
Tonight's gonna be nuts, it's like the venue is maybe a
little bit too small but it will be one of those shows where
maybe that's a good thing.
The venue is a lot of bit too small
Yeah.
I think we could have filled a four or five hundred
cap room in Calgary.
That's the tricky balance man, it's a lot less fun
if half the room's half empty cause you can feel that
difference, and for this tour particularly I think that's
what we wanted to go for is like a smaller room kind of
feel cause those were like...
if we're gonna do a throwback to those times we were
playing a lot smaller places, smaller than this even.
So as veterans, what advice would you give
to people who are in the early stages starting out?
The band has been operating for ten, twelve years
now, when we sort of broke the band and got signed and that
sort of thing we were just
touring and doing shows and it wasn't quite as internet and
social networking based as it seems to be.
What's up guys we're Misery Signals.
Now, it's like, cover a popular song and make a
cool YouTube video and get some viral going online,
I don't really know cause I didn't do it that way.
For us it was just get out there and play as much
as you can and I don't think that's gonna hurt you I still
think that's a good idea.
If you're watching this we're already dead.
Melted away to nothingness.
We're in the desert, it sucks.
What does that sign say?
Tucson, 246 miles.
246 miles to Tucson Arizona.
So Tucson is less than half way there.
I can remember one year, maybe it was 2004 or 2005 that
we were on tour for 11 months of that year.
Three days off here, a week here, you know a few days,
but like it was just go go go go go.
We were just focused on that and nothing else.
There wasn't really anything else going on in
my life that mattered.
We were just really caught up in making this thing special.
Say something for me Jesse.
Hello.
How are you tonight?
I'm okay. Tired.
You think you want to play in a band for your life but
all of a sudden you're on the road for 120 days at a time,
never going home. My mother had a son, my little brother,
he's now thirteen years old but in those first years of
Misery Signals he was a little boy.
And he didn't have a dad, and so I always had this really strong
sense of obligation to be a dad to Liam.
How do you balance touring ten, eleven months of the year with
trying to be this father figure to this boy?
Alright so we just arrived in Arkansas. At the show.
When I was nineteen through twenty one I was really
really close with my parents, and same with like friends when
I lived in Edmonton from when I started touring with
Misery Signals my friend circle in Edmonton is pretty
much down to one person now.
You know the only person that I really talk to that lives in
Edmonton is Brandon, our merch guy.
Maybe it just seems commonplace cause through working
with Misery Signals I've made so many friends that
do tour, so it seems pretty
normal, but when you really think about it it's kind of not.
Watch out for my urine.
Huh?
Watch out for my urine.
There's a cup full of it by your feet.
Five to ten people pile into a van where you have to put
your gear and where you have to sleep and where it smells awful
and you drive a thousand miles to play a show in front of
twenty people, but you don't care cause you're playing music
you love to people that also hopefully love it.
You don't know where you're gonna sleep that night maybe,
but you're probably gonna end up on like some weirdo's floor
breathing in asbestos or something.
But it doesn't matter.
Cause you're there with your friends. And you're there
doing what you love, and you're experiencing something.
My foot is ruined. Let's go to the hospital.
Here's the normal foot. Normal foot, fat foot.
Nothing starts out great.
You have to be willing to go through some shit and put up
with less than ideal conditions and if you have a lot of love
for something it's not going to matter how shitty those
conditions are.
How'd we do in merch buddy?
Not that good.
Horribly?
Maybe like 160 bucks.
Most of these bands don't make a shit
ton of money doing it.
It's just kind of like all they know at this point, right?
They started doing it when they were young so they just keep at
at cause what else are they gonna do?
In the lean years these guys didn't even have a trailer, we
were touring with a van with one of those tiny cargo things on
the top of it, and all and the merch and personal luggage was
crammed up in there and like amps and drums and everything
were just crammed under the back.
So our van stopped working a little while ago and
we're gonna get it fixed or, hopefully... but we're
sitting in San Diego, probably missing the show. Awesome.
It's a different world. You're moving so much.
You play one city one night and then you move to the next city.
You don't leave any time for anything.
You're with this traveling group of people and it's like
your own separate universe.
You know you guys create your own memories together but you
don't have enough time to create relationships necessarily with
the people that live in the city you're playing.
When you spend that much time with your band, those
become like your family.
Those guys for almost eight years were like my family, the
dudes that you see every day
I feel it's partly love of the music and partly these
guys are getting to an age where it's like really what
else do they do?
A lot of them didn't go to school, I was kind of lucky in
the sense I guess that before I started touring I went to
college so I had something to fall back on when I decided
to quit. But a lot of these guys don't, right?
So this is what they keep doing.
You guys seen Jesse Yet?
Nope
- No he's not here yet. - Should be here soon.
Did he drive here separately?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
He's doing the tour separately, in his own car.
- What? - Yeah.
They drove out to the wedding from Saskatchewan and
they're driving back at least to that point, and then maybe
hopping in the van or possibly just driving a car
on the whole tour. It's yet to be determined.
Hopefully he doesn't miss any shows.
Is it pretty packed in there?
Uh, a bunch of people are hanging out out front, it'll
be pretty packed when we play.
Doesn't seem that crowded but it'll probably be nuts.
♪ How could I justify this ♪
♪ I can make anything alright ♪
♪ But what do you know ♪
♪ about sacrifice ♪
♪ You are no lamb ♪
♪ Any man a creep ♪
♪ Any man deserving ♪
♪ Any man ♪
♪ A victim, ♪
♪ a target ♪
Do you know the plate number on that guy?
I have no fucking clue what it is.
Got a text this morning, our van and trailer were towed.
- 405 right? - Yep.
Two blocks down and it says it's good from nine to
eleven, and then on the right next to it it says "no parking
Monday through Wednesday" and then next to it says from
seven to eight and we didn't see that. I already called them
they said they have it, it's 200 for the impoundment.
Sick.
Okay straight back, straight back.
This way a little.
Keep coming, you're on track, keep coming.
Slow, slow, little more, this much more, Stop!
We're okay.
It'll pop in.
That sucks cause that was actually in there that time.
The last time it happened I don't think we had
it on there correctly.
Well, what else could go wrong boys?
Turn left onto 15 Avenue south east.
Then turn left onto Macleod trail south east.
We disagreed on a lot of things back in the day.
The specifics escape me right now which leads me to believe
they maybe weren't as important as we thought
they were at the time.
Being in a band is like a marriage you know?
You all have to work together and decide on things together
and do everything together and it always sort of seemed like
the four of us against him.
I was just sick of losing every vote.
Whether it was as simple as where we are going to go eat
tonight or where we're gonna sleep tonight.
Those guys at that point were so like party...
it's funny, straightedge guys, but party mode, like "we're
gonna stay at these girls' house tonight " " we're gonna eat at
this vegan restaurant today".
I just got sick of losing everything.
We would often refer to Kyle and Ryan as "The Bosses",
cause they would deal with the money and the promoters and...
I think Ryan was the leader in that band.
I think his brother would always just basically do
whatever Ry said back then.
And Ryan and Kyle were childhood friends.
I was this outsider.
There's these expectations that he would have
for other people but sort of not for himself.
In a sense of like, he would want...
he would expect the band to have their strings changed
for every 2nd show, but then then he would cut a set short,
at four songs because he's tired. But then he would
justify that with "Oh I don't want to do a bad performance"
He would often say that he wanted to leave the band or
he thought that he's not coming back after this tour.
And he would say that over the course of a
number of different tours.
"Oh I'm gonna quit the band if this doesn't happen"
I think he was saying that he quit cause he wanted
someone to talk him back into staying but it was just too hard
on us to have all these tensions and then on top of that have him
being like "Well I'm just gonna quit, well I'm just gonna quit".
And eventually one of the times that he said that I put
my foot down and said "Okay, don't come back."
Milwaukee.
That's the guy's hometown.
You know, we spent a lot of time there.
The last time we played there, with Madball, I was on a
payphone outside and these kids came up and they banged
on the phone booth.
So I get off the phone and I came out and they said well we
heard that Shawn Page is taking your spot in Misery Signals.
He's trying out next week, after the tour.
And I was just so taken aback, like, "What, what do you mean?"
♪ Awaken and destroy ♪
♪ these dreams ♪
We'd been fighting lots, but, no from my understanding
I'm gonna be the singer in Misery Signals.
And I didn't say anything to Ryan, I played that show.
But from that point on it was crumbling.
It was obvious that they were seeking to replace me.
We did have other options in mind or other
scenarios at least in our subconscious.
I don't think we had acted on them until he left the band but,
the end was in sight with Jesse before he left.
We should have just talked about things.
We should have just all aired our grievances and hopefully
worked through things but instead I just went back to my
bunk I was like "Screw you guys you bastards" kind of thing.
I just stayed in my own little place.
The last time I was here, was one of the last shows
I ever played with Misery Signals.
We played in the smaller room with Madball.
It's a little bit different than this.
So thank you so much for making this so special tonight.
Thanks for making this old guy feel cool.
And then we head south,
the next show in my head that I remember is Dallas Texas,
that was the last show we played.
Stage left check check check. Hey!
Hang on just a second.
Let's get that vocal again.
Whoa-oooo.
1 - 2 - 3 hey.
Played here a couple of times early on with the band.
Hey check, that's good.
Oh dude, it's exactly the same.
It's kind of smaller than I remember, but this is exactly
how it was set up. But this was the last place that we
played with Jesse on his original run in the band.
So weird.
So the room where we're actually playing tonight is where me and
Ryan went and talked after we played here and kinda got in an
argument and that was kind of the end.
I don't remember what tensions were what exactly cause
there was no singular event that ended Jesse's stay in the band
it was building tension for a number of months if not years so
I don't think anything specifically awful happened when
we were in Dallas the last time but it came to a head between
the night that we played here and the next show.
Everyone in the band was in agreement with me from my
understanding, but I was the one that was kinda just had had it
enough that I needed to talk about it right then and there.
We had had this talk before.
And we knew if we didn't stand our ground and go through with
what we wanted to do that it would just go back to how it was
and it would never happen.
We got to the show, we had set up our gear on stage and
we were opening the show.
And I'm saying to the guys "What is the point of loading in?
He is not going to do this show after you guys tell him this
isn't gonna be a thing anymore."
They just basically said in the van that day
'We're done. We're gonna get you a flight home. Tonight."
And I started crying and basically begging them
"No no no. We need to talk this out. We need to talk this out."
It was one of the most fucking awkward things of my life.
They told him, obviously he's not gonna go through with the
show, so we had to go back in, take all the gear off stage.
I was actually filling in as tour manager at the time so I
had to like kind of explain to the tour manager of Madball
"Look, this is what's going on. We're dropping off the tour
cause this might not be a band anymore."
Even though I'm sure he could sense unhappiness in the
camp he never saw it coming. Like he never even thought that
it would actually come down to that.
You know, it hit him pretty hard.
I think we tried to settle it where we were gonna
finish out the tour, there was like 4 or 5 days left but once
it kinda dawned on Jesse that he wasn't gonna come back for real,
he didn't want to do those shows.
So we had to book him a flight home but we couldn't get
anything affordable right then and there out of Oklahoma City.
So we drove to St Louis, a number of hours away,
all just sitting in the van.
It was kinda similar to when you break up with someone
and you're just kinda talking through it with them.
"Why are you doing this?
Why are you guys doing this to me?
I really want to do the next record with you guys.
I want to finish the tour. I want to still be in the band."
Jesse kept trying to get me to stop so he could get
some alcohol and that was weird too, cause he never drank, I
never really know him to drink.
After having something taken away from you, to spend
the next six hours with the people that took it from you,
I can't imagine the shit that was going through his head.
Had to be pretty difficult to endure.
Jesse I think took it probably the hardest from Stu,
because Jesse you know he knew Stu growing up through the
Edmonton scene and those bands, and he was kinda the one that
got Stu into the band.
So you know to have Stu siding with the other guys when it was
time for him to leave, I think that really affected their
friendship and there was a lot of tension in that drive just
between the two of them. Maybe more so than anyone else.
There was this expectation of loyalty that
I was supposed to have to him. Like, if he was getting
kicked out of the band that I should go with him. Fuck that.
You created a toxic environment that nobody wanted you to be
involved in the band anymore, it's not my fault.
They drove me to the airport, and I remember them getting
out of the van and waiting in line to hug me,
all four of them.
I just got out of the van and walked into the airport.
And I didn't see them again for about three years.
I think I was maybe the only one that got out to say bye to
him. I just gave him a hug and got back in the van and fuckin
huddled myself up under this blanket and just started crying
cause I was just...
more than anything I think I was just upset for him,
to see that something he had built and created to cope with
his loss, he was just kind of being ripped from.
It was a meeting of frustrations and stubbornness
from both sides.
We were young and eager to continue on and we wanted to
have a happy environment while we were touring, we were doing
it so much at that point, so we just pulled the trigger.
There was no working through it at that point.
They didn't want to hear it.
And I can't...
I don't know if I can blame them, you know?
It hurt, you know, it still hurts.
It hurts that those three guys that I created this band with-
would go behind my back and do that.
It hurt even more that Stuart would be party to it
and not say anything to me.
He wrote me some fucking emails.
Some very very very aggressive
threatening emails. Like...
"If you come back to Canada you're gonna get your
ass kicked" or whatever or
"I'm gonna send guys out to hurt you".
So we were...
you know he's friends with some serious dudes.
I think I can speak for everyone else in the band
when I say we were legitimately afraid
that something was gonna happen to us.
We were really bad to each other at times.
The focus was always art, art, art at all costs.
And we created fantastic art, but it nearly destroyed me.
It put me in the worst spot I was ever in.
I come home. Girlfriend was gone.
Misery Signals was gone.
All of a sudden everybody that I had aligned myself with in life
for four or five years was gone.
They were all gone.
Let's start this thing off right.
We are Misery Signals from Wisconsin.
Let's have some fun.
I think it hurt them too.
We were on such a climb at that point.
Misery Signals was doing so, so well, right?
And it was like every tour was better, better, better...
and then they kick me out,
and it took them a while I think, four or five years later,
where maybe they were firing on all cylinders again.
It's hard. It's a speed-bump for sure to change singers.
Our second record was somewhat of a sophomore slump.
But I don't know, it might have just been the same if
Jesse was in the band too.
I think for me it was important to try and prove
that we could still do it.
Jesse had left and that record was starting to be celebrated
and it's like, well, I'm gonna be stubborn and I want to make
something that's as good, and I don't need him.
Jesse is a very passionate person and he had
some traumatic things happen in his life.
And Misery Signals was his outlet.
Personally I don't think that he ever took the time to
deal with the accident.
He's got this fucking huge weight on his shoulders that I
don't think he ever really spoke about.
Or even digested and dealt with, you know?
He helped make this band what it is.
And I think a lot of that is evident in this anniversary tour
because I haven't seen Misery Signals shows this
crazy in years. And when you see Jesse on
stage he really feels every word that he's yelling.
And don't get me wrong, fans relate to Karl too and the band
is still obviously successful, but who knows what could have
been if he would have, you know, not been ousted from the band.
In "Summary and Stinging Rain" at Braden's place,
that's all I remember.
Yeah, we've spent a lot of time here.
It's where we did a good portion of the writing for "Malice".
This is for surely where I first heard
"Worlds and Dreams" was downstairs.
"End riff to Five Years" too. The very final.
Morgan said "C'mere! C'mere! C'mere!"
and I went downstairs and he said "Check this out."
Yeah "Victim" was here for sure, I remember my guitar amp
was under the steps, and it was so bass-y, so every time we
played the intro it was like "this is sick!"
cause it was so big sounding.
I remember Jesse... we would be down here and Jesse's
on his desk right at the top of the stairs writing lyrics...
Yeah for sure.
That's the basement here?
I don't remember the insulation like that, it's weird.
It's still exposed, it drives Jesse crazy.
Jesse won't go down there.
No.
Is that Stars?
No this is Dinnwoody Lounge.
You guys were still 7 Angels. It wasn't even Misery Signals.
It was 7 Angels 7 Plagues featuring Jesse Zaraska.
Featuring Jesse Zaraska.
Yeah it was featuring.
Damn we were fucking fully traveling with a car-top
carrier and no trailer.
Do you guys remember if this was a release party?
Yeah I believe it would have been.
It was at Megatunes on Whyte avenue and it might have
been the release of "Malice"
The first Misery Signals show in Edmonton, if I can
remember this correctly.
So, this is fuckin insane actually, this story is amazing.
We used to cross into Canada to play and not have any
of the proper documentation or work permits.
So we would always have like back stories, like split up and
go separate ways.
When we left for that tour Ryan had a record so he
couldn't get across the border.
I went to get an ID as my brother.
So I went to the DMV and had his passport like
"Oh I lost my driver's license, I need to get a new one."
And so it was going to be a picture of me.
Even though we look exactly the same.
I don't know why I was trying to go this far cause it's
super brutally criminal thing to do. Got all the paperwork
filled out and was sitting in the waiting area.
And there was like 7 other people there and they called
them up, each one, and got their pictures taken and sent them
off, and I was the last one sitting there.
And I started freaking out because it was taking longer to
do mine and I was like "Oh shit, the cops are just gonna come in
here and take me away".
And then eventually they call me up after what seemed like 3
hours, you know it was probably 10 minutes, but they called me
up and they just handed me the driver's license like 'Oh we
just have your file picture, it's less than 6 months old so
it's just the same picture".
So myself, Branden and Kyle drove in my car.
Jesse and Ryan took the van.
And Ryan got out and got on a Greyhound.
Somewhere in like Montana or something.
So Branden Morgan was crossing in a van over here
and Branden Morgan was crossing in a bus over here
in different provinces.
It was fine cause wasn't the border crossing like some little
shack or something, and this dude was just like "Alright."
The theory was that once Ryan was through, the real
Branden Morgan was with us, so there was no disputing it.
So we're like on payphones. Like get across the border and
we're like "Yeah we did it, we're through" and then we find
out that Jesse, because he was Canadian and he was trying to
bring an American vehicle into the country, they impounded the
vehicle and like held him at the border.
You got stuck at the border, they impounded the van and
then we had to use...
They taped me to a chair.
No they handcuffed me to a duct-taped chair.
And left me sitting there for about an hour.
So we picked you up just walking down the highway too, right?
So they impounded it.
They held him for a while at the border. And then
they just said "Okay you can go" and they sent him walking.
Like he just walked into Canada from the border and we had to
drive like... we were getting so close to Edmonton too,
I was psyched, like we were almost home.
And we had to like detour and go pick him up.
On like the side of the highway. He just called and he's like
"I'll be walking down this highway".
We're like "Okay man like we're just gonna head towards you."
We were like hours away, like driving down this highway
until we found him.
It was probably the most stressful thing about the band
at that time was trying to cross the border.
With members being Canadian and American it was
just this constant thing of back and forth, back and forth right?
We would literally pull apart guitar cabs, take the back
panel off and stuff as many shirts and hoodies into it as we
could and then screw the back back on.
Like the cabs weighed like 80 pounds. It was so obvious.
Which is so ridiculous cause if you had a guy, a border
guard who has any small knowledge of musical equipment,
the minute that he would move that cab he would be like
"This is full of drugs".
100 percent.
Stop.
You can just straighten out a tiny little bit.
This is my hometown show.
This is the club where I first went and saw punk rock bands
when I was 13, 14, 15 years old.
Starlite Room was sort of the bigger club, you know it was
sort of where I hoped we would one day get to.
Misery Signals really had good shows here back in the day and
it's a special place.
We're gonna actually strike the guitars.
2 2 1 2. Check.
When Misery Signals started and Jesse being from the
city and going to the States and joining this band it was a big
deal within the scene.
Especially when "Malice" came out.
I feel like we were more of a local band to Edmonton than we
were to Milwaukee you know?
It was really special for people here, this small
Canadian city to say "Holy...
Stu Ross and Jesse are doing something' you know. They're
having success playing in this fairly big American band."
You know, we were just like this champion of the
fuckin' scene for a minute.
A couple of guys from our home town have joined this American
band and they're like touring.
And that's why I think this show, especially tonight, it's
gonna be like ten years ago.
We're getting pretty close to sold out.
Look at the bins.
Even thought it was a small Canadian city, we always
had such great shows here.
I think Misery Signals and Compromise and 7 Angels, those
bands have been very important to this scene.
It was a special place for us and I think we were a special
band for a lot of the people here.
♪ Even though I watched us fall, ♪
♪ fall away. ♪
♪ With determination we all carry on, ♪
♪ and with determination ♪
♪ we all must live on. ♪
♪ We've all learned things from those days, ♪
♪ I know that we all have grown, ♪
♪ even I now feel a calm ♪
♪ like I have never known. ♪
Thank you so much Edmonton!
It's absolutely wonderful to be home.
When Compromise started there was no scene.
There was a heavy metal scene here, there was a punk rock
scene, there was no such thing as hardcore.
In our community, they were pretty fresh.
Like there wasn't really anyone else that sounded like them.
Like they were kinda the first ones to do that sort
of thing in our scene.
It was a big deal that they were taking steps and
trying to tour and like get down to the States and they
wanted to like be a full time touring band.
It was a big send off when they were going to move to
Toronto when they went on that tour with 7 Angels 7 Plagues.
That too was just like crazy, cause all of us really looked up
to 7 Angels 7 Plagues.
So for them to be doing this tour with them was just nuts.
Many moons ago, some of these fellas took part in
writing what is one of my favorite records...
Check 2, hey hello what's new?
...it's called Jhazmyne's Lullaby by 7 Angels 7 Plagues.
Jhazmyne's Lullaby was such a huge deal.
I remember always listening to that record so so
much every day, that's all that was in the van. Anytime we went
and played shows in Calgary, anytime we went anywhere.
Is this 7 Angels?
Dan would call home from the road and we would just
be asking him questions about the band and stuff.
We were just so psyched on it like for them to be touring
with was just amazing.
We're 7 Angels 7 Plagues from Milwaukee.
It was awesome meeting those guys and getting to know
them a little bit.
Nine times out of ten you don't really care about the
local bands or the bands that open for you, but we liked
Compromise and thought they were cool,
and I watched them a number of times.
Thank you guys.
We came a long way to be here tonight.
We're from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.
We were getting paid nothing, you know it was like,
young Canadian band, we got these odd... it wasn't like some
amazing west coast or east coast tour, it was like midwest and
into Alabama and stuff like this and it was a long way for us to
go for shows where we were not basically getting paid, maybe I
don't even know I can't even remember we probably got paid a
hundred bucks a show or something like that.
But Jordan was just like 'I got us on these 7 Angels 7 Plagues
shows' and he was so so happy to get on that tour.
They had done a couple tours out to the east coast and
a few times in the States but I had never played music in the
States before myself, that was great.
We were just starting out so everything was still fresh and
innocent we hit the road, we had a tour, it was big, we were
young kids that just couldn't imagine doing anything more fun.
Slow down slow down.
The plan was to do about four weeks and then we
were gonna come to Toronto and just try to make more waves
out on the east coast.
We were really looking forward to those shows with 7 Angels.
The whole trip hinged upon getting across the border.
Border crossings were always a really serious deal for
Jordo and Jesse but I remember we got across and everything
was cool. We went into the gas station and Jordo just walked up
to me and punched me in the back and just started laughing.
And I remember just-
- just the sheer joy in his face and in the punch
it was just like it wasn't...
he was so happy that he was going to get to...
7 Angels was Jordan's Metallica, the gods of gods to him.
It's funny now thinking how much of a pedestal
we put those guys on and looked up to them now that
we're all just buds.
But it would be like playing with Bruce Springsteen or
something, I mean, they were our heroes and they were nice people
that were really genuine and welcoming and were nice to us
and they lived up to everything that we thought.
We met those guys initially in Warsaw, Indiana.
My old band the Pressure Point, we were all on tour together.
But that show ended up getting shut down before we got
a chance to play. So then we moved it down the road.
And it was cool cause like this hall show and it got
shut down and then it moved to this barn.
And then they just set up in a fucking barn and there was like
a giant tractor behind them and they were just rippin' in
front of this tractor.
There is a line in "The Year Summer Ended in June"
about that night in Detroit.
And that was kind of like when we said goodbye to Compromise
cause they were planning to move out east after that tour.
Knowing now what happened and everything, those goodbyes were
so emotional at the time it was super overwhelming as it was.
We were just saying goodbye for a few months, like they were
gonna be coming back through town in September, and this
would have been June.
This might sound far-fetched but I can like still even feel the
hug that I had with Jordan.
We are at some sort of gas station right now and we
noticed something a little weird about it.
Compromise continued on with us and played a
few more shows. They were super nice kids and
we were stoked to be on tour with them at that point.
They took a liking to Jordo and they took
a liking to the band.
We just bonded.
There was this camaraderie that was starting to develop
and we'd only been with those guys six days or something.
Right here.
I remember the last date that we played with them
was in Birmingham, Alabama.
Thank you, we're Compromise.
It was so good, we were accepted by this band that we
looked up to so much, and went out and had this wonderful
dinner with them and everything was going very well.
Everything was going so so well.
We didn't even have a show in Savannah, we were just all
talking and they were like "Let's go tonight,
we'll get you on the show, don't worry about it."
"Just come with us and we'll put you guys on the rest of the
shows, and if they say you guys can't play then we won't play"
It was the most validating experience, they were going to
bat for us even though they'd only known us for a few days.
The plan was for them to caravan with us.
We drove a few hours with them and eventually they fell behind.
Arriving in Savannah, we were at this house where the
show was supposed to be and Compromise still hadn't shown up
and it started to become a concern.
Compromise was carrying so much shit with them cause
they were moving.
And they just had this fucking shitty van that they had like
ram-packed with all their gear, all their personal belongings,
all this shit just ram jammed into like one fuckin' van.
So it was super heavy and shitty as it was.
And our van just couldn't keep up, they had brand new vans,
you know like those ones and we had an old school van.
We just couldn't keep up and then it...
and then stuff happened.
We were always worried our van was gonna die so we
drove slower than everybody else and they got in front of us.
And at that point I think we were all sleeping except for
Jesse who was driving.
I remember we all filled up with gas and that was...
I mean that's the last memory I personally have up until
like a month or two later.
It's been a difficult day for fans of
Edmonton's hardcore music scene and the families of two
up-and-coming musicians killed in a highway crash.
Trevadore Shanko has the latest on that tragedy.
This is Compromise performing recently on stage.
The Edmonton band's tour came to a crashing halt Thursday
on the road in Alabama.
I fought with them so much cause they were leaving for
six months and I didn't want them to leave and, you know,
six months would have been a lot better than forever.
Claire Wyrostock's close friend is 19-year-old
Jordan Wodehouse.
He gave her these pictures of himself shortly before he and
the other four members of Compromise headed out on tour.
Early thursday morning outside of Heflin Alabama, the band's
van was struck from behind by a Nissan Pathfinder. The van lost
control and hit a tree throwing everyone from the vehicle.
Wodehouse and 20-year-old Daniel Langois were killed.
19-year-old bassist Braden Sustrik remains in intensive
care with a punctured lung and fractured vertebrae.
23-year-old singer Jesse Zaraska received cuts and bruises.
And 20-year-old drummer Ryan Kittlitz broke his left wrist
and right leg.
Yeah here we are. This is after the accident,
and this would be Braden in the hospital, Jesse who
stayed with them while they recovered in Alabama.
This is I guess a picture where it happened.
I never went down the because I couldn't stomach it.
I get this phone call from the officials down in Alabama saying
that there had been an accident and that there had been some
fatalities and they couldn't tell me who.
I think instinctively I knew that Jesse was okay, but knowing
those boys as well as I knew all those boys it was sick no
matter how. They got rear ended by a drunk driver who pushed
them into this grove of trees somehow and snapped the van
pretty much in half.
Junior went out the front window, Braden went out the
front window, Jesse went out the windshield and somehow cause
he's like fucking Iron Man, didn't have like a fuckin,
I think he broke a rib or something you know like...
and so he went back to the van and he just like ran around
and found everybody.
First he found Junior, he was awake so he picked him up
and went to look for everyone else. But Junior
had broken his leg and didn't know it so as soon as he
went to walk he just fell over in pain and he was screaming.
"Jesse hang out with me" and Jesse said
"Man I gotta find everyone else first".
So then he looked and he saw me next and I was laying down
and I was breathing but I wasn't conscious.
He said it seemed like I was alright so he left me be for a
bit and went looking and he said at that point he saw a
semi-truck had pulled over on the side of the highway and the
driver had got out and was walking towards him so he
ran over. And the guy said "I radioed for an ambulance,
they're on their way. And I think your friend is up
there on the road and I think he's been run over."
Jesse was just like "What the fuck are you doing then?
Coward, what the fuck is wrong with you?"
and had to run down the road and pick Dan up.
I guess like we found out later that he'd fallen out
the back window of the van when we got hit,
or like the back door opened and he fell out and then he
got run over by the car that hit us.
So Jesse picked him up and like carried him off to the edge of
the road and held him.
He said he was alive but he was in pretty rough shape and he
didn't know what to do, but he didn't know where Jordan was.
So he kinda set Dan down and told him he'd be back and he ran
back down and he looked around and the last place he went to
look was the van.
I found him.
I pulled all that fuckin weight off him
and pulled him out of that stupid fucking van.
And he looked untouched.
He wasn't bloody, he wasn't messed up.
He was fine.
I thought he's okay, he's just knocked out or something.
And the paramedics got there pretty soon.
The woman came down and I showed them where he was.
And she just said "He's gone. He's gone."
It was a fucking horrible night.
As messed up as I was, I wouldn't trade that for having
to be Jesse or deal with that night and have that memory.
I don't know how he got past that.
I remember I was at my parent's house
at the time in the middle of the night.
I just got a phone call that there had been this accident.
They didn't really know for sure yet what happened.
I was just running around my house literally screaming.
Like just I didn't know what the hell to do.
Still in shock like hoping that it wasn't true.
We saw something on a message board that was
kind of cryptic, and it was about those guys and honoring
them and their memory living on and stuff, and we
didn't really understand what they were talking about.
Our band email had an email I believe from Jordan's parents.
It wasn't really informing us what happened as much as it was
them expressing to us how much our band meant to them.
And um... excuse me...
how much they appreciated the fact that their children got
to spend their last moments doing...
spend their last moments
doing what they love to do with their favorite band.
When I first heard about it, I think Dan was still alive
and there was a chance that he was going to live,
but yeah he was just so fucked up like...
I mean the shit Jesse's told me,
I don't even want to talk about cause it's super...
it's really graphic, and it's fucking sad.
But...
It's fucking brutal, man.
They were two of my best friends at the time, and
I just really looked forward to a future getting to know
those guys. It's taken too short, they were both only
19 years old, like, looking back we were just babies.
It's fucking tragedy.
I try not to talk about it unless Jesse wants to talk
about it. Some of the mothers, like the two mothers who lost
their children, had the report - the accident report, said
"Here you want to read it you want to read what happened?"
and I was like "No I don't wanna read what happened."
I can't imagine my child in the dark with his friends around him
not with him anymore and Braden and Junior not being able
to move, not being able to do anything and Jesse being lost in
the dark wondering what to do.
And it just it still still still kills me every time I think
about it, let alone sitting and reading about somebody having to
go through that sort of thing.
So whenever Jesse talks about it we talk about it but I don't
want the details I don't want to know the details.
And when you listen to him sing 'The Year Summer Ended In June'
you know how he feels about it. There's no doubt in your mind
how he feels about what happened and that dark night.
After that tour ended that was when Temo quit the band.
When I came home and found out that Temo had left. As hurt
as I was from the crash, I knew that that's what I had to do.
I said "Hey this is Jesse, singer of Compromise, I'm more
than willing to come down there and try out any time."
It felt like the right thing to do, it felt like
something had brought us together.
I think he looked at it as an opportunity to carry on their
legacy through the band that they love and the band that
they ended their life with.
So Jesse met up with us in the States and came back to
Milwaukee to be the new singer of 7 Angels 7 Plagues.
We continued to write and rehearse for an EP that we were
working on, and we ended up in the studio not long after that.
And that's when Jared gave us a call to inform us that
Matt and himself were going to be quitting the band.
There was never a point where we weren't gonna continue
on, it was like "He quit, okay, screw it whatever.
We're just gonna continue on", and we did.
But at that point we had already planned to do this
'Yesterday Was Everything' festival.
Jordan's father thought it was a great idea to, only a few
months after the crash, raise awareness for drunk driving,
to celebrate his son you know. It was an amazing idea.
And he put it together so quick.
And the city just really really latched on to the idea.
And 7 Angels were supposed to play, and it was
such a big fucking deal man.
Like it was the craziest shit that they were gonna come up and
play this show and that Jesse was gonna be singing.
Like it was like "Holy shit!
This is crazy," you know?
It was planned, we were gonna do it and then all of
a sudden Jared just says "I'm not gonna do it." You know.
And I'm so bummed I phoned him and you know, begged him,
"You gotta come, you don't know what this show is gonna
do it's gonna be healing.
It's gonna heal people. People need us there to play
those songs, it means the world to people."
At least come up and do this last run of shows and then
we'll all call it quits.
But they refused.
I think at that time we had never made a trip like that.
Like Edmonton was a place that we had never really probably
heard of before meeting these guys.
And it was you know a 30 hour drive from Milwaukee.
So I feel like that was just something that was too much for
them to wrap their heads around.
Kind of spineless and a bitch move to bail out when
there's that many people like...
it sounds like weird, but when there's that many people
depending on you. Because they were.
Like everybody needed like to be consoled in a way and that show
was like a way that that was going to happen, you know?
And luckily Branden just stepped up.
He learned the songs very well, very quickly.
The first time I went to Edmonton Braden was still in
a back brace and Junior was on crutches.
It was so soon after that the surviving members from the crash
were still recuperating.
We roll into town and we just have this like aura around
us automatically, just based on who we are and our involvement
with their friends who passed away, you know, weeks earlier.
We just immediately were taken in like we were a
part of the family. I just never experienced
love like that from people I'd never met.
Yeah I mean that band was like a...
you know they were like the flag for healing in a weird way.
And that festival was an extremely special time for
Jordan's family, for my family, for Braden's family,
for all of us Compromise guys.
Just to get together and you know, pay respects to
Dan and Jordan. You know they gave their lives for
that music so to be able to put on a fest where
everyone could get together and remember them.
I didn't get to go to either one of the funerals,
so for me on a personal level, it was kind of like a
celebration of what had happened, but then
kind of a celebration of the future. I mean Jesse came back
with his new band, and there was a lot of optimism. You know,
this really sad thing, but we were trying to move forward.
We're 7 Angels 7 Plagues from Milwaukee Wisconsin.
Let's have some fun.
♪ With plastic face designs ♪
The fact that we were a four-piece didn't matter.
We weren't 7 Angels in it's original inception, but the
crowd and the emotion behind it drove the show.
I remember being on stage, and looking over side-stage and
seeing Stuart side-stage just in tears while we were playing.
This is what it all was leading up to, and we were finally here
honoring the memory of these kids.
I thank you all, every one of you.
Jordan thanks you all, he's smiling big time no doubt.
I wanna know that you'll all be here next year.
Cause you know what?
As long as I'm Jordan's dad, this is gonna happen every year.
Yeah, through Yesterday Was Everything Fest,
and even the formation of Misery Signals, everything is...
not closure, but it's, you know,
helped us all cope with it in some way.
Good, you? What did you guys end up doing last night?
Not much, we got out of the club pretty late.
Oh fuck. This is crazy.
JFK, what the fuck are you doing to me man?
What is this? This is a joke right,
we're getting punked right now, right? What the fuck?
We had already decided that we were going to
break up 7 Angels and start a new project.
So Jeff like came out, and was in the band, they wrote
that EP, and recorded it, and they just hit the road.
I feel like it happened in no time, because they were in
Edmonton doing that shit in June, and I feel like they were
on tour for the Misery Signals EP by October or something.
It happened super fast.
And then luckily for me Jeff quit the band.
For Misery Signals to put out that first EP where a
lot of it dealt with that accident,
that was a pretty major thing.
The song "The Year Summer Ended in June" is probably one of the
most personal and touching songs I've ever heard, because it's
written about our friends and what we all went through.
When you're a band that makes songs, no matter how
personal they are, once you put em out there and they become
special to other people for their own reasons,
they cease to be just personal.
They're still personal songs, and they can still mean that to
you, but they mean so many things to so many other people
that the life of the song is beyond just
your experience with it.
I didn't necessarily write the riffs and have that in mind, but
I know it had a feel to it, and a texture that was definitely
drawn from the environment that we were in emotionally
at the time. But the time that it took it's true
form is when Jesse wrote the lyrics.
We want to call to the stage, our good friend,
our brother Mr. Ryan "Junior" Kittlitz to the
play the next song with us.
This next song is likely the most important song that we
wrote, or at least that I wrote I feel, on this record.
This song is called The Year Summer Ended in June.
Who knows what turn their lives could have taken, but at
the time, all those dudes wanted to do was tour and play music.
...and how you're always with me.
In a weird, sad way, without the accident happening,
and without Jordan and Dan passing away, I don't know if I
would ever have played guitar for Misery Signals,
or done all the touring, met all the people that I've met.
I wouldn't have met my wife.
It changed my life.
It literally changed the course of my life.
I feel so selfish saying it, but without the accident happening,
all the good things in my life might not exist.
Compromise asked me to go on tour with them,
on that tour that the accident happened.
Weird to think back on, had I gone on that tour, I would have
been in that accident too, and who knows if I would have still
been here right now.
Shit y'know, the same thing could happen to us,
there could be another accident, and I might not be here.
It's one of those things that's always on your mind that it
could happen to you.
You hear that?
We will finish earlier than planned.
9:35 to 10:30 for us roughly.
So we could be out of here by midnight and still get a decent
amount of sleep before we have to get up. We have nowhere set
to go in Minneapolis, so we'll be there all day.
We could even leave at six, if we wanted to be safe.
Jesse's car broke down.
They are four and a half hours away, which is an hour later
than we're supposed to play.
We don't want to leave an hour between Waster and us
with the kids waiting. So we should realistically
try and plan for a 10:30 stage time, maybe even 11:00.
Which sucks for a Monday night.
Wanna know what I really think happened? They probably just
left their house super late, that's what I think.
They stayed at their own house.
These are the new times.
Doors at 7:15, we'll just push the opener back to 8:15,
to 8:45, and then 20 minute changeover for them,
with a half hour set, give us a half hour changeover,
that puts us on at 10:00.
And we can stall from there if we have to?
I was thinking about this,
we can't really go past 10:45. 10:30 is usually where we cut
it on weekdays, so fifteen minutes late as it is.
We just had a situation.
Our singer is traveling separately, and had car trouble.
So he's actually roughly four hours away still.
- Really? - Yeah
Oh my god.
We could get on by 10:00 at the earliest.
Okay.
So, is there a curfew, is the curfew 11:00?
- Yeah, yeah it is. - Okay.
So I guess the best that we could hope for is, if he
arrives before 10:00 then we'll go on as soon as he gets here.
Are we sure he's not exaggerating like "oh dude I'll
be there at 10:00, no problem."
He said he's four hours away about 45 minutes ago, and
it's 6:23 right now so...
I'm just gonna have him keep me updated as time goes on.
I don't know what else we can do really.
If we have to play half the album
and that's it, then so be it.
If he goes past 10:00 O'clock we're cutting songs,
and cutting time off the set, so-
And cutting songs from a set of nine shows for
a ten-year anniversary of a record.
Right.
It's not just like a regular show, y'know?
Right, it's not like we'll be back in two months.
Out of ten shows, it was bound to happen that their car
would break down at some point.
So it's just no surprise.
I mean there's shit back in the day where like,
we'd be on stage, ready to play.
And the tour manager from the other band would be like "Start!
You guys are fuckin five minutes over already, start!"
And we'd just start without him.
...your name, the band, and
"You're listening to Radioactive Metal."
Can I just get you to say that.
Okay.
You ready for it? Whenever?
Yup, whenever.
Hey what's up, this is Ryan from Misery Signals and
you're listening to Radioactive Metal.
Excellent.
So the band before you is going on now?
Yes
We've dealt with this shit with Jesse forever.
We've known about all these things. Whatever.
My goal from the start was just to try and get this thing to
actually happen, and I knew that there would be some sacrifices
because Jesse is just out of his mind in ways.
I couldn't do this with Jesse on a regular basis.
Nobody would want to deal with the stress that comes
along with it. Doing it like this, ten shows, it's great.
It's fun.
The bullshit doesn't really have a negative impact on me at all.
I know that it's not my life anymore, that it's just
a one-time thing. And when we finish the tour on
the 23rd in Toronto, that's that, y'know, it's over.
We've got a line check, so you've got a minute...
- Is there a bathroom down here? - Yeah there's two there.
It's 9:57
Good evening Winnipeg.
We're running a little behind today, so we're just
going to line check B-Ball's drums and get the support bands
up. Doors are at six and it's twenty after five right now.
Had a little hang up at the border, probably could have left
a little earlier this morning, but y'know, these things happen.
This is the way of the road man.
Last night was the first kind of, taste of reality I guess.
The reality that not all the shows are going to go as
perfect as the other ones.
I'm glad last night was kinda how it was.
Sort of a good reality check for the band.
It was a little slower.
It was kind of a dip in the energy.
By any other standards, it was great. It was just
juxtaposed with some shows that were totally off the hook.
I think it's just healthy for everyone's mindset to have a
show like that every once in awhile.
Especially in this situation, because if the whole tour was so
sick all the way through, it might be one of those things
like "oh dude, we gotta get the band back together and do it
like this all the time" or something. But it wouldn't be
like this all the time unless it wasn't a special thing.
It's a cool note to end a chapter on, to do a bunch of
really cool shows that are really well attended and
people are going crazy.
But it's also gotta have a dose of reality in it because,
it's over after this, y'know?
I have mixed feelings about touring after doing it for so
long and after having the life that I have now with
home and family. I miss lots about it.
Never tiring of a place because you're in a new spot all
the time. You're out there doing it, you have one goal a day,
and that's get to the show, get everything set up and
do the show. And that's very singular.
And outside of that you just wander and do what you want,
and look for your own fun, and your own relaxation.
That's awesome because things are complicated when you're at
home, and it's not as focused, and you have to micro-manage all
these decisions and build something to work towards.
It's hard for me sometimes to manufacture those things when
I'm used to just focusing on the band and the show.
Going in there and getting it done, and as soon as you take
your amp of stage, that goal is done, it's checked off.
Let's go to the next city and do it again.
The flip side of that coin of course is that I have to be
away from my family.
I have to be away from my home like that I'm working on
building up, and it's harder and harder to do.
In a way this is a throwback to all the great shows
we did over the years, and even the smaller, fun shows we did
back when Jesse was in the band and we were doing
the "Malice" songs on that record.
But in a way I've done all these shows before.
If I were doing it just as something I was still doing,
I think it would make me sad.
♪ It was the last time ♪
♪ We lost a fight without you ♪
♪ And finally now ♪
10010 is the ZIP.
Got it.
Calculating route.
Two and a half hours, plus traffic.
Yeah their van broke down about 4:00 AM
last night in Cleveland.
Yeah, brutal.
Especially since they were only on four shows.
This is probably gonna be the best one.
So do you want to keep on schedule,
or do you want to move it up?
So our set time will probably be the same regardless.
It's been a lot of stuff man.
I mean, I'm kind of getting to the point where I'm thinking a
lot about home and just reacclimating to real life.
There's kind of a lot of stuff hanging over my head back home
that I have to deal with.
It's been convenient to have a tour to just escape from it and
not really think about it.
The whole thing has been this constant roller
coaster of happy sad, y'know.
I think this whole thing has been positive overall, but it's
mixed at times and it's been crazy delving into the past.
It all happened.
The story is heavy, and I think that the lyrics are heavy, and
why has this been so successful? It's because people experience
heavy things in life and they relate to those lyrics.
I don't think we could do this without, at times, touching on
heavy things and getting sad, getting mad,
whatever the case may be.
That record is sad, and it is mad, but it's about catharsis.
It's about getting past all that garbage, you know what I mean?
I think that's what those songs have done for kids, that's what
that record did for me. As dark as it is, it's not all
"oh I hate life, this sucks," you know what I mean?
It's like "this is bad, but we're working through it."
We gotta get an O.G. Misery Signals lineup picture.
Would I do something more?
At the beginning of this, I would have said no way.
But I cannot deny what has happened.
I cannot deny what I see in the kids' faces every night.
I cannot deny the things they say to me.
We created fantastic art together.
And...
I don't want it to end.
I don't want it to be over now.
I don't know what that means, I don't know what that looks like,
I don't know what- how we proceed.
But if Karl leaves, or if we can extend this in any way,
I'm willing.
It's been sort of a long time coming with Karl that he
hasn't contributed much to the band, and it's decreased
as time has gone on.
After coming back and playing these shows with Jesse, and
seeing the side of the coin where the singer's enthusiastic
and passionate, and has something on the line, like
Jesse is nervous before the show and he has an emotional
attachment to it. That's what I think a singer's main job is,
to be the gateway between the audience and the songs.
And now that we've gone back and done great shows and had both
sides of that, I don't want to go back.
I think it would be a lot more exciting instead of getting
"New Guy X" to sing for the band to bring Jesse back.
That's exciting, that's familiar, that's something
people have wanted for like ten years.
You know, bring back the guy that wears his heart on his
sleeve and probably cared about being in that band more than
anyone at the beginning.
I think what a lot of people would like to come out of
this is a reformation of that original lineup, and maybe more
music from those guys because 'Malice' was such a special
album but at this point it doesn't seem like it's possible
to happen right, like they've had three albums since
with Karl. Misery Signals is something else now.
Stu's not in the band, Greg's in the band.
People maybe just have to accept that it was a
really special thing for the time it came out and just sort
of cherish it for that.
I don't think that there's really much potential
for anything else, as far as Jesse's involvement beyond this
point with us.
I know that it's kind of an unfair gauge to work off of,
because it is a special event every night.
He hasn't had the last six or seven years of slugging
it out. Not just coming in and killing it at
these shows that have been just like home runs.
He has Misery Signals shows seven years ago, and then he has
this reunion tour which has been like a smash success.
Me, Brandon, and Kyle, and to an extent Stu have had years
and years of these ups and downs and Winnipeg every night
for a whole tour.
It kind of gives you a false sense of accomplishment
in a way. Beyond this I don't think that they would
continue to be like this.
I think that you know you can ride the hype for a little
while, but once it's said and done and kids kind of see what
they've been waiting to see for years, it'll just go back to a
different version of what we have now; no better, no worse.
Stu's offered to me that maybe including him on the
writing of something else would be sweet.
I don't know if it'll happen or not. I don't know
if he he wholeheartedly means what he's offering.
If it came to pass, I don't know how into it he'd be and if he
would just get back to the place he was at when he quit the band
initially, and just bail. Because that would hurt a lot,
and I don't know if I'm willing to risk that.
But also to me the band's in a weird spot where it might just
be done too, so like what's to risk really, you know?
♪ How could I ♪
♪ justify this ♪
♪ I can make anything alright ♪
♪ But what do you know ♪
♪ about sacrifice ♪
♪ You are no lamb ♪
♪ Any man a creep ♪
♪ Any man deserving ♪
♪ Any man A victim, ♪
♪ a target ♪
Thank you New York City,
it is absolutely wonderful to be back.
I don't know all the levels that it's happening on,
but something-something really good is happening here.
I was on stage in New York last night and it was so good,
the show was so great. And they had to keep the lights on
for the audience just as safety measure for that club,
and I could see everyone in the crowd.
There were so many people singing along and going crazy
and I was just grinning.
I don't know if it's because I feel like it's run it's course
in a way and it's almost over, this is one of the last great
awesome moments, but I could feel like the totality
of the band in a way.
It feels really good to have done this tour.
I'm really happy with how it went, and not just on a like
level of the shows were good and people came out
and went crazy, which they did, and that made it a lot of fun.
But as far as getting to spend time with these dudes and see
all the old friends.
I'm not really sure I'm consciously aware of everything
that has happened but there's something therapeutic about
having done this whole thing.
I think we are on that path to redemption.
It's been a healing process.
But it's not going to all of a sudden "oh we did ten shows or
nine shows, everything is better guys, everything is good."
We're brothers though right?
I can still be pissed about what they did.
But I don't judge the men now by what the boys did in the past.
I know there's been some gripes, and despite our
differences, I really have a lot of respect for Jesse.
I think he's a really good dude, and I definitely can recognize
from where I'm standing now what conflicts were there and what
differences we both have as our personalities.
The things that sort of caused problems with the band
are also the things that are good about Jesse.
He's a really principled guy, and he really sticks to his guns
on a lot of things and that's cool because
the things that he values are usually on point.
He really values friendship, and he's all about doing the
right thing, and he sticks to that once he's decided
what the right thing is.
I wish I was more like that, and I admire him for that.
At the same time, that's some of the stuff that was frustrating
for us when we were doing the band before, because he would
stick to his guns so much. I would too to an extent,
but I can appreciate it a lot more now.
It would be amazing if after Toronto we could go out
back behind the Opera House and air our grievances and talk and
everyone ends with a big hug and everything is okay.
I don't know if that's how it'll be.
But we've taken some really large steps to becoming friends
again, to healing what happened.
I love you, brother.
I do wish that I was more mature back then and we
could have worked those things out in a better way.
But I also believe that our time as that group of guys
had to end. And I feel good about where it's at now.
- What's up? - Just waiting on Jesse.
One last time.
Yesterday we got in a cab to go get some food in New York
and I had a good little heart-to-heart moment with Jesse
where he was like "I'm really really glad we did this."
And he even sort of said something along the lines of
"if we were considering doing more shows like this he would
be into it, and even if Karl were leaving the band for
whatever reason he would consider coming back.
That puts a lot of things to rest for me about how he feels
about the band and what we did together.
And interpersonally between us, if he's willing to do that
that's basically forgiveness, it's reconciliation.
Well that's it, we have one song left.
This might be the last time that us five ever
play music together again.
Ryan Morgan, I love you.
Branden Morgan I love you.
Kyle Johnson I love you.
Stuart Ross I love you.
This whole thing...
This whole thing meant the world to me.
For eight years I dreamt about playing these shows.
I sure hope this isn't the last time that we do this.
Thank you for sharing this night with us you guys,
thank you so much.
Subtitles by explosiveskull
♪ I've seen it in your eyes ♪
♪ Looks like your sneaking and all your lies ♪
♪ They did catch up to you this time ♪
♪ I swear I heard you say ♪
♪ Blood is forever Love is forever ♪
♪ I can fool myself all that I want ♪
♪ But I saw the room, I heard your voice, ♪
♪ I saw your eyes ♪
♪ The truth will always get the best of you inside or out ♪
♪ It took me two years to find that I wasted ♪
♪ five years of my life ♪
♪ Felt the truth within you and I saw red ♪
♪ I guess we are, we are the long goodbye ♪
What wasted time
♪ I always hoped somehow it never happened to us ♪
♪ But it is something that did ♪
♪ That I can't forget ♪
♪ And after all of our times ♪
♪ You fucking did what you did ♪