[music playing]
[bomb noises]
CO-PILOT: Captain.
Captain.
We're losing altitude and the fire is spreading.
We're going down.
Oh, shit.
What are we going to do?
[throat clearing]
CAPTAIN HAYDEN: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
This is Captain Hayden again.
I hope you're enjoying your tropical fish dinner.
We've encountered a few minor technical difficulties.
If you'll look out the window to your right,
you'll notice we have fires in two of our engines.
If you'll look out to your left, you will see the Caribbean
Ocean approaching rapidly.
Now, our instrumentation and cabin data systems
are temporally out of service.
We suggest that you fasten your seat belts.
On behalf of Tromaville Airlines,
let me apologize for any convenience.
However, our flight attendants will
be serving each of you a complementary cocktail
or beverage of your choice.
Thank you for flying Tromaville.
[crash]
[music playing]
Oh, my God.
We crashed.
[screaming]
[baby crying]
Oh, my God.
Oh, mo.
It can't be.
[screaming]
[crying]
Hallelujah.
The Lord still makes house calls 24 hours a day.
You see?
You're alive.
You have your whole life to live ahead of you.
Dear woman, the worst is over.
You must try and control yourself.
The Lord will protect us.
In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.
I've been good.
All my life I've been a good girl.
I don't want to die.
My God.
My child, my child, if you have been truly good,
you have nothing to fear.
Oh, God.
I can't stand her.
Why did she have to survive this crash?
[music playing]
Take it easy.
You really had me worried.
Did you get yourself a good look?
What are you talking about?
Take a look around.
I'm the one who pulled you off the plane.
So what are you doing pawing me?
Listen, sweetheart, I don't know if you've noticed it
or not, but, uh, this situation here
is hardly conducive to any romantic inclinations.
I'm not saying there aren't possibilities, but pawing you?
Get over yourself.
Who the hell are you anyway?
The name's Taylor.
Here, the shirt off my back.
Excuse me, are you the pilot?
1, 2, 3, 4.
Are you the pilot?
No, I'm the senior flight attendant.
Fine.
Where's the pilot?
I'm sorry, sir, I don't have time.
I'll help you in just a minute.
Look, I have a very important appointment in the morning.
I want to know when you plan on getting us
off this God forsaken island.
Now where's the pilot?
I don't believe you.
There are people dying here.
I haven't got time.
Fine.
You have it your way, Florence Nightingale.
Now I demand to see the pilot.
Oh, you want to see the pilot?
Yes.
You want to see the pilot?
Fine.
Fine, great.
Here.
Here is your pilot.
Dumb son of a bitch.
[crying]
I can't see.
Somebody help me.
I can't see.
Oh, my God.
Where am I?
It's OK.
-Who are you? -It's all right.
You're OK.
Where am-- what's going on?
Why can't I see?
Oh, my God.
My name is Burt Sampson.
We were in a plane crash.
Do you remember that?
Look at this.
My baby.
I mean-- I mean, OK, it's not a [inaudible]
with an [inaudible], but it was my baby.
We were making it.
I finally got us that big gig.
Three nights at the Holiday Inn.
And now it's ruined.
I'm scared.
This is all that is left of The Bearded Clans.
A broken axe and a string.
Sean's coming down with mega stress.
I got this band together to get us out of the old neighborhood.
Not look at us.
We're better off back in Tromaville.
No way.
Living in Tromaville was worse than going down in a plane.
This place is beautiful.
This is a real adventure.
Driver, get me to the Tromaville airport.
Flight leaves 11:29, and I'm late.
Step on it.
Tromaville.
Oh, mein Gott, [german].
The poor bastard.
Looks like someone slashed his face with a razor.
Well, he needs stitches.
Stitches?
Ha, yeah.
Listen, I got a needle and thread.
What on earth are you doing?
What do you think, dummkopf?
Stitch him up, just like you said.
Well, it's hardly like knitting a sweater.
He's bleeding to death, schnook.
What's to know?
I've been sewing all my life.
Well, perhaps it's better than nothing.
You enjoying yourself?
Interesting.
Well, one thing's for certain, by the time
she's finished with him, he won't
be mistaken for Robert Redford.
I never meet the right ones.
I always have to pay.
Little fella going to be OK?
She's not a little fella.
Oh.
It's a girl.
I think she's going to be OK.
Yeah.
I can't believe it.
Well, listen.
Anything you need, you just call on old Parker.
Thank you.
Kids.
That's a real cute ear you got, faggot.
Oh, I just love when you talk nasty.
[laughter]
[singing]
All right.
Did the pilot radio for help or didn't he?
I just told you, I don't know if he radioed ahead.
All right.
Fine.
Then you don't know when we're getting out of here, do you?
So what's the story, buddy?
Why did we go down?
We lost power in two engines.
That's what the pilot said, and then he
asked me to leave the cockpit.
And that's the last I saw of him.
Help we'll be coming soon.
Won't it?
Yes.
I'm certain that the search party will be coming.
I'm certain.
Certain.
He's certain.
Well, I'm not certain.
The only thing I'm certain of is that whoever was flying
that crate was an asshole.
Well even so, radar would have picked us up.
Look, lady, didn't you see how close
we were flying to the water?
That's below radar tracking.
The way I see it, nobody knows where we are.
REVEREND BROWN (SINGING): Now the day is over.
Night is drawing nigh.
Shadows of the evening steal across the sky.
Jesus give the weary calm and sweet repose.
With they tenderest blessing, may our eyelids close.
There ain't no life nowhere.
Yeah, huh?
Let's play Adam and Eve.
[laughter]
Yeah, but what if we get eaten by lions?
That's OK.
It's, uh, uh, natural.
It's, uh, Biblical.
Smell anything?
That's cordite.
I've Smell of gunpowder.
Yeah.
I noticed it myself.
What do you say we check things out?
Hang on a minute.
Hey, the Englishman and I are going in the woods
to check things out?
Can you tell the others?
And, uh, I recommend the rest of you stay on the beach.
Who put you in charge?
I'm capable of making my own decisions.
Listen, sweet cheeks.
It's just a recommendation for your own good.
Don't call me sweet cheeks.
It's patronizing and demeaning.
Modern women.
I can really do without this chick.
What'd you say?
I said-- I said you really don't miss a trick.
That isn't what you said.
Well, we'll talk about it later.
Right now just tell the others where we're going.
Well, after you, my good man.
That's a piece of luck, having a compass with you.
[chuckle]
Look over there.
Let's go.
[laughter]
Ew, what is that?
[screaming]
What the hell is going on around here?
Oh, Sean.
[screaming]
That's disgusting. [inaudible] there's more
back there behind the rock.
Let's get the hell out of here.
What's going on around here?
Hey, listen up.
We saw a troop of soldiers dressed in army fatigues.
Hey, so there's soldiers.
Isn't that good news?
Huh?
Probably a rescue party.
Oh, you think it's good news?
So what's got you so worried?
Some of them were carrying Russian weapons.
And if they were a rescue party, why the hell weren't
they carrying stretchers?
Hey, we better get off this beach.
Let's take cover in the woods.
Oh, God.
No, God.
They're coming for us.
Too many men.
Oh, God.
We're all gonna due.
They're gonna kill us all.
Every one of us.
They're gonna kill us all.
Mrs. Patirez, help her while I go back for Mrs. Summers.
Yes. Yes.
OK. OK.
Come on.
Come on, Doll.
We got to go to the woods.
Come on. Up.
Get up.
Let's go.
Please, you've got to come with us.
Oh, you mustn't be afraid.
You must make your peace with the Maker.
I've-- I have been readied.
I go to him with open arms.
Please, for God's sake, stand up.
You can't stay here.
Remember, the Lord helps those who help themselves.
[laughter]
Faith.
[gunshots]
[yelling]
Do not hurt them.
We will question them later at the trainee camp.
Bring me the Jew.
Jew?
What Jew?
The one with the white collar and black shirt.
But he's not a Jew.
Bring him.
Now, Jew, tell me about the commandos.
My friend, I know of no commandos.
We are the survivors of a plane crash,
and obviously I am not Jewish.
You lying swine.
I know you are a Jew.
You cannot hide the truth from me.
Oy vey.
My son, I forgive you.
That's just the way Washington trains them.
You think just because a man is dressed like a priest
that he is a priest?
No way.
These are expert, well-trained military commandos.
I knew it the minute I first saw that picture of the old lady
in the jumpsuit from Lohman's.
Oh, she's-- ow.
If that is true, then we must terminate all of them
before they inform their leaders of our plans.
What is going on?
Plane crashed on the other side of the island last night.
Some type of American counter maneuver.
I sent Schweinhart to search with some
of the infiltration trainees.
You want to risk our infiltration trainees
we have spent years to train?
Yes, because the entire economy and all the plans
we've been making for it all these long years
is at risk as long as even one of those commandos still lives.
[baby crying]
Shut that kid up.
I'm sorry, Parker.
She's just hungry.
Then stick your tit in its mouth
before it gets us all killed.
I'll take her over here and see if I can calm her down.
Oh, baby.
Come on.
[moaning and muttering]
To risk the infiltration trainees
on a skirmish on this island on the eve of our mission?
Why, that's an obscenity. [oinking]
It's-- it's-- it's-- it's pigheaded.
[oinking]
Don't ever, ever say tha-- tha-- tha-- tha--
tha-- tha-- tha-- that to me.
Stop it.
Stop it you idiots.
Stop it men.
We must stand together.
We must be as one.
Tomorrow America will begin to crumble.
Triumph is ahead.
[laughter]
You are right, the woman elite.
All the wealth of the United States of A-merica
will be in the hands of the only ones
who are capable of preserving and managing it.
Yes, we will use the infiltration
trainees, Major Asyolsky.
[oinking]
[music playing ]
[yelling]
[screaming]
Man, I am really getting to hate this place.
Well, it looks like we're going to need some weapons.
I think I can help there.
And you said it was a coincidence I just
happened to have a compass.
This is not coincidence.
Look.
Three, four, five.
What are they going to do?
I don't know.
He's dead.
Curare and cyanide.
Very effective, but I've only got four left.
Let's check him for weapons.
All right.
We got some toys now, man.
The situation's really improving.
TAYLOR: Now if we can just get a little food.
You can't eat if you're dead, Taylor.
I don't know whether you noticed or not, but we're in a war
here.
Now, I know something about that because I was in Nam.
Airborne.
There's another one.
He's going to shoot.
He'll know where we are.
Hey, boy.
A less than exquisite personality, but we need him.
Yeah, but would you buy a used car from him?
[gasps and screams]
Like I said, Airborne.
I really think you get off on this, Parker.
Why don't you give me one of those guns?
This isn't a gun.
It's a sub-machine gun.
You know how to use one?
No.
But we're going to have to learn.
I'm keeping one for myself.
You just want us to be murders like them.
You don't murder vermin, you exterminate them.
He looks like an hour.
The other one was a Spic.
Hey, watch that mouth.
Let's get our asses out of here before they
start missing these two.
Listen.
I can't go with you.
This baby's going to be too much trouble.
Will you be all right?
Yeah.
I found a little place down by the stream.
I think we'll be OK.
We'll stand a better chance without the kid
screaming anyone.
We've got another problem.
We can't take the blind girl with us.
She'll slow us down.
No, no.
I want to go with you.
You stay with us, honey.
We'll take care of you.
Good luck.
Motherhood.
If it weren't for motherhood, you wouldn't be here.
We've still got to find those kids in the rock band.
Yeah.
Let's hope we do it before those other guys do.
[music playing]
[gunshots]
[yelling]
We're gonna die.
We're never going to leave alive.
Shut up.
It's your fault. You brought us here.
Shut up.
You, on our knees now.
Get on your knees.
We know why you're here.
What are you talking about?
We know you're commandos.
Esther, Marcus, Greg, get the women.
Let's go.
Now.
[mumbling]
Come on.
We got to keep moving. -Stop.
Wait, please.
No, no, no.
Don't you want to check out the guns?
I got a full mag.
Did you check your weapon?
Yeah.
Taylor, an uzi fires from an open bolt.
Oh.
You take care of that gun, it'll take care of you.
[interposing voices]
-No. -Why not?
-I'm a vegetarian. -Well, there's no meat in this--
I don't eat animals.
---and if there is, it's Kosher. -No.
Have one. It's good.
No.
I'm telling you.
Why aren't you off with the other men looking for food?
Those losers?
You know, uh, between you and me,
I plan on getting out of here alive.
And I don't want to go alone.
What are you getting at?
I mean, a man like me could make you very comfortable.
How would you like to live in a $10,000-a-month
townhouse in Manhattan?
I know I would.
Dike.
[music playing]
[screaming]
Shut up.
He's dead.
For this he survived the plane crash?
[music playing]
Those are decoy commandos, and there must be hundreds of them.
[music playing]
[gunfire]
[yelling]
Come on.
Use it.
You have to.
Keep down.
I'll be back in a minute.
[gunfire and yelling]
Now, let's see if you've got any guts.
Not very much, it seems.
Get down.
[yelling]
Please make it stop.
This is crazy.
[silence]
[farting noise]
[gunfire]
Come on. Come on.
[whimpering]
[speaking spanish]
Do not be fooled by their appearances.
They are obviously trained commandos
sent here to abort our mission.
[music playing]
Where were those crackers?
Lil' Lassie.
What do you want?
You've got to come with me.
There some people who'd like to see you.
No.
[screaming and crying]
Oh, shit.
Help me, bitch.
Help me.
[crying]
[gunfire]
Run, you bastards.
Run.
Don't fuck with me.
Come on.
I'm Airborne.
[gunshots]
Now the day is over.
Night is drawing nigh.
Shadows of the evening steal across the sky.
Now, stewardess, you are really going to learn about flying.
And then your friends will give us the information we need.
Congratulations.
You are now an honorary member of the Luftwaffe.
No.
[laughter]
[screaming]
[laughter]
Will you guys keep your voices down?
There's soldiers all around here?
Who are these soldiers?
Why are they trying to kill us?
This isn't the time to--
Quiet.
Something's coming.
Parker, we thought you were dead.
Thought I'd find you up here.
At least you had enough sense to get to high ground.
What are you looking at?
Hey, I didn't want to stand out in my civvies, OK?
What are those, Parker?
These are ears.
What'd you think?
What's the matter?
That's disgusting, Parker.
You ever hear of counting coup?
It's how a warrior gets his power.
Indians believe that you get the most
power from taking a trophy from a warrior
you don't have to kill.
Those guys' got something to worry about now.
Look, look, I've got some food, too.
I've got some extra weapons, extra fire power, ammunition.
Here's one for you, zombie.
What for?
You're the big wheel.
Why don't you figure it out?
Just like you said, we don't like people that panic.
I think you're a Yankee chicken shit.
Parker?
Where are the other guys?
Oh, you mean, uh, fatso, geriatric twins,
and Helen Keller?
Real soldiers.
Yeah, they were with you, weren't they?
Well, the last time I saw them, they were
busy getting themselves caught.
Great.
They're alive?
Probably not for long.
Hey, look, they were dead weight.
Now the day is--
Just like the rest, these filthy Jews who control
American politics and business.
If you know what is good for you,
you will desist from your lies.
Shadows of the evening--
I said shut up.
Now I make you shut up.
Oh, shit.
[screaming]
What God has joined together let no man cast asunder.
[laughter]
[gargling singing noises]
Silence.
Shut up.
I said shut up.
[gargling singing noises]
[gunshot]
[screaming]
LOUDSPEAKER: Attention.
All trainees assigned to contaminate Chicago's water
supply, report--
I'm the guy in this camp.
LOUDSPEAKER: No later than 1500 hours today to pick
up your contamination kit.
Faggot.
[speaking german]
Now, if you do not wish to end up like the Jew--
[laughter]
--you will tell me what I want to know.
What have you done with my baby?
The baby has joined our cause.
We will begin conditioning him now while he
is young and impressionable.
What the hell are you talking about?
I am talking about a plan to change the world.
Power should be in the hands of the worthy elite.
That is the natural order of things.
Leaders.
Leaders like Batista, Samoza, Marcus,
Chiang Kai-shek, Idi Amin.
These men had the vision to see this.
We will merely speed the process along and concentrate
power in a few capable hands.
Let me show you the type of dedicated men I command.
You there, come here.
Kill yourself.
[screaming]
Crazy.
I have always liked that man.
You're sick.
Sick.
Shut up.
That is not right.
Senor SIDA, say hello to our guests.
He is handsome, yeah?
Do you know why we call him SIDA?
SIDA is the word for what you know as AIDS.
Senor SIDA, take your pick.
Let me see.
To who shall I teach the art of love making?
Soon, SIDA and the [inaudible] brigade
will be spreading their charms throughout the United States
cities.
They are but a small part of a massive infiltration system
designed to create chaos at every level
of American society.
Then you will ask us to come in and restore order.
You look pale.
Are you all right?
I choose this one.
[screaming]
Arrivederci, fellas.
And you, giving me the eye, take her to my tent
and prepare her.
[screaming]
[gunshots]
No.
You son of a bitch.
I'm going to kill you, you fat slob.
[screaming]
I'll kill you.
It's not my fault. You were born in the USA.
You were--
The twins, they would very much like to see the smart one.
Bring her to us.
[speaking spanish]
GROUP CHANT: Twins, Twins, Twins,
Twins, Twins, Twins, Twins.
[screaming]
What is the matter with you people?
Don't you want to help those girls?
[screaming]
Merely you are confirming what we already know.
What about you?
Come on.
Tell these assholes to let me go.
Just you and me.
I win, and the girls go free.
Come on.
I do not care about the girls.
I care about the commandos.
How many we got to tell you?
There ain't no commandos.
So come on.
What?
Are you scared I'll kick your ass?
You're damn right I'll kick your ass, because you
killed Susan, Schweinhart.
Come on.
Let him go.
Sean, they'll kill you.
[music playing]
[cheering]
-No. -Let's go.
No.
Let's go.
Now, I know you're a very smart little girl.
And because you're so clever, I'm
going to introduce you to the brains of the entire operation.
Cut that out.
I have done as you have ordered me.
Get out.
Go away.
Come here you pseudo-socialist slut.
We know how to deal with commandos like you.
There is nothing you can do to stop us.
The entire American establishment is with us.
Quite frankly, my dear, the only organizations
that do not wish to join us are the church, which
is truly and stupidly democratic,
and the mafia, which claims that it already controls
most of the American Society and does not need to change
the order of tomorrow.
Tell us what you know.
We Americans are not afraid of you terrorists
or your truck bombings.
Truck bombings?
A truck full of explosives blowing
up a few Marines in Beirut?
That is a amateur hour.
Do not insult us.
You have already met Senor SIDA and his group.
Would you like to meet the others, who within 24 hours
will be dropping drugs in every major water supply in the US?
They will make the Arab truck bombings
look like Mickey Mouse.
[music playing]
[cheering]
You kick my ass?
No.
I kick you.
[cheering]
Now, the commandos, tell me about them.
There aren't any commandos.
What a schmuck.
You are a liar.
Harmless survivors of a plane crash
could not have killed so many of my men.
I've experienced worse pain in my life.
Then I will have to plan something very special
for you, old man.
[screaming]
Do it the way I taught you.
Come on.
Give it your best shot.
[speaking spanish]
[screaming]
[speaking spanish]
[music playing]
[explosions and gunfire]
My face.
[explosions and screaming]
Shit.
[music playing]
Stop.
What you doing, Lydia?
Get back.
No.
Where you going? Come back.
Lydia.
Lydia, don't leave me.
Don't leave me in this place.
What am I going to do?
How am I going to get out of here?
[gunfire]
Leave me alone.
I was following the orders.
No.
Hey, Mr. AIDS.
I was-- I was.
Bloody piece of junk.
All show and no blow, my friend.
He was mine, Parker.
[groaning]
Oh, God. Help me.
Oh, God.
Oh, please help me.
[crying]
[moaning and crying]
Stand still.
You're pulling out the tubes.
I gotta go the john.
What do you want?
[screaming]
[gunfire]
What God hath joined together, let me man cast asunder.
It takes a woman to do it.
[gunshots]
Bon appetit, asshole.
[explosion]
[gunshot]
[gunfire]
[screaming]
All right.
We gonna make you Airborne yet, boy.
Listen, I'll just settle for a deal on a used
ca when we get out of this thing, Parker.
You got it.
Die, you goddamned bastard.
You neo-Nazi.
This is for Dachau, Dunkirk, and Normandy.
My wife.
My wife and I were going to take one last vacation together.
I lost my arm to cancer.
The rest of me is real enough.
Yes, we can see that.
Come.
Come, let's go.
Come.
Ew.
[music playing]
[crying]
Kim? Kim?
No.
Yes.
I found this by the Jeep.
Maybe they take the baby with them.
I thought you might want this.
Like I figured.
You didn't fire a single round, did you, scum bag?
[spanish announcements]
We're in goddamned Cuban territory.
What I want to know is an you arrange to have the boat arrive
here as soon as possible?
The boat will leave Florida as scheduled.
It will be here at dawn.
And it is your responsibility to keep
the trainees alive until then.
I know my responsibilities.
Ramirez, any word form Swinehardt?
No, Jennings.
Then call Havana.
We must use the boat that our people in America
are sending us.
This operation must remain top secret.
If anything goes wrong, we cannot afford to have
a Cuban vessel involved.
Maria, they started talking in Spanish.
See if you can get any clues as to what they might be planning.
Yes. Yes.
I will.
OK, everybody listen up.
The guessing games are over, and that's the good news.
The rest, well, here's the deal.
We've had the bad luck to land on a little island
called Isla de Providencia.
Cuban territory.
Well, what about those Arabs?
What are they doing here?
Well, the island's charted as uninhabited,
except it's crawling with terrorists
from all over the world.
You've got your PLO, Baader-Meinhoff,
Islamic Jihad, Black September, some Libyans, some Syrians.
You name it, they're here.
The cream of the crap.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's why they're such shitty fighters.
They're terrorists.
These pussies couldn't whip anybody that fought back.
Well, there are soldiers on the island, Cuban soldiers.
They're here to see that both phases of an operation
are successful.
This being phase one, terrorist training.
Now, according to the map I saw, there's
a Cuban military base about four miles away from here.
That's where phase two will take place.
The boarding and departure of a boat
especially chartered for the occasion.
It seems they're planning a massive infiltration
of the United States, coast-to-coast, New York to LA.
They're out to kill as many people as they can
and freak out the rest of the country in the process.
And the best news of all is, they're
leaving tomorrow at dawn.
PARKER: So the Commies got the terrorists
doing they're dirty work now.
We better pick up this hardware, people.
We're going to need it.
It's a little more complicated than that.
There were papers in there with American names it.
People with influence and contacts in Washington,
and from what I can see, they're the ones
at the top pulling the strings.
LYDIA: But wait a minute.
That doesn't make any sense.
Why would right-wing Americans be working
with Cubans and terrorists?
They're left-wing.
OK.
There were political papers there written by Americans.
They're using the terrorists to accomplish
their own selfish goals.
LYDIA: What goals?
The usual ones.
Money, greed.
They want the terrorists to destabilize the country.
Then they're going to blame it all on the Communists.
That way they can get more and more right-wingers
running things in Washington.
It's greed, pure and simple.
The rich aren't rich enough.
The corporations aren't powerful enough.
They want more, and they're willing to do
anything to get it.
Whoa.
Now, I don't believe it.
No American's going to work in cahoots
with Commies and terrorists.
Hey, it's just like I told you before, Parker,
communist, fascist.
There really isn't much of a difference
when you come right down to it.
It's just another one of their power games, and kick off
is tomorrow morning.
Wait. Wait.
I hear something.
Taylor.
[speaking spanish]
[oinking]
[speaking spanish]
[oinking]
Taylor, there is a detachment of soldiers and hour away.
Wait.
SOLDIER (ON WALKIE TALKIE): the commandos.
We will check it out.
They're coming.
Marshal, got any ideas how we can slow these jokers down?
Maybe.
Let's see what the General Parker
knows about some demolition.
Good idea.
[music playing]
Taylor, my baby's not here.
Don't worry, Kim.
We'll find her.
If it's the last thing we do, we'll find her.
Come on.
[music - chris demarco, "alive"]
[explosion]
That ought to keep the bastards off our backs for a while.
Yeah?
What's next?
Well, the way I see it, we got one choice.
What are you talking about?
Headquarters?
[laughter]
You've gotta be kidding.
I'm not kidding.
And neither are they.
Look, I'm asking you people to fight.
We're as unsafe here as we are in any other part
of this island.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but we've
got enough ammo and grenades to blow these bastards away.
We've got enough to give them a good surprise.
Look, if you're unwilling to fight,
at least help me carry the stuff into position.
Then after that you can do whatever the hell you want.
No.
I don't think that's good enough.
This is a matter of commitment.
We're the only ones who can stop them.
And besides, I'm tired of these bastards chasing me
all over this island.
Let's kick some butt.
My sentiments precisely.
Rock n' roll this joint.
Yeah.
You can count me in in this action.
Just point me in the right direction.
I'll blow their balls off.
This is war.
All right.
Let's do it.
[cheering]
[music playing]
How does this goddamned thing work?
Where's it open?
Listen, my vacuum cleaner opens over here.
This is not a vacuum cleaner.
Why not?
It works the same way.
[screaming]
[music playing]
[interposing voices]
Shut up.
[music - chris demarco, "alive"]
Just a little bit further and we
should be able to their headquarters from the cliff.
How you holding up?
You really want to know, huh?
Well, my bunions are killing me.
My bursitis is acting up.
And I think I have hemorrhoid flare up.
Other than that, I'm doing just great, soldier boy.
-Hey, Taylor. -What?
Wait a minute OK?
I gotta rest for a minute.
These shoes are killing my feet.
TAYLOR: We just have a little further to go.
Hey, you're the one with the boots.
I couldn't find a dead terrorist with feet my size, OK?
All right.
Do whatever you have to do.
Just let me rest for one minute.
[screaming]
TAYLOR: Don't move.
It bit me.
The snake just bit me.
It's fine.
It's all right.
-Suck out the poison. -It's all right.
It-- -I'm going to die.
Suck out the poison.
I'm going to die.
Suck out the poison.
Pardon the intrusion but we do have to get up this ridge.
Interesting.
What's going on?
Snake bite.
Oh, that should happen to me.
I ain't volunteering?
What-- what about the poison?
I tried to tell you.
That snake wasn't poisonous.
Look at that lousy bunch of lemmings.
I'm gonna lose them.
I'll, uh, I'll make a deal with the, uh, freedom fighters.
Yeah.
That's what I'll do.
These trees.
God, what I wouldn't do for a match.
God do I hate nature.
[yelling]
I'm French.
French.
I'm here to help.
I am-- please believe me.
I'm here to help you.
I've got things for you.
Here.
You know, Colonel, I've never been a man fond of parting
with money.
However, I believe in your cause and the cause of your men.
And I am prepared to offer you $1 million in gold each-- each.
Believe me.
I'm telling the truth.
Please.
[belch]
Jennifer, wait.
Here's some clothing.
Make a bed for yourself and get a good night's sleep.
We got a big day ahead tomorrow.
Oh, Cooney, thank you.
Cooney, wait.
I have something to tell you.
I know that I can see you better than anyone, because I
can feel what a wonderful person you are
and how special you are.
I've dated a lot of boys before, and I
thought I knew what love was.
But I didn't until I met you.
Listen, Lydia, tomorrow it's going
to be pretty dangerous out there,
and I don't want you in on it.
You know, that's the first time you called me Lydia.
Come on.
No, seriously.
Not sweet cheeks, not babe, just Lydia.
Lydia.
You like the way I say it?
Yeah.
Come on, Taylor.
Let's go for a stroll.
What?
Come on.
I want to give you the shirt off my back.
Come on.
A full moon.
I guess we're lucky.
At least we don't have to sit around in total darkness.
I've always loved full moons.
I lost my virginity under a full moon.
I never thought my life would end like this.
I'm planning to come through this alive.
This morning you were scared stiff and crying your eyes out.
You try chopping Siamese twins apart
with a machete and not change.
Yeah.
[MUSIC CHRIS DEMARCO, "STORM IS RISING"]
Cooney, I love you.
[MUSIC CHRIS DEMARCO, "STORM IS RISING"]
Want some camo?
It can make you invisible.
Help psych out those scumballs.
No.
This time I want them to see me coming.
OK, gentlemen, take as much as you can carry.
Ladies, I want to stay here.
[arguing]
We'll leave you plenty of ammunition
if you need to defend yourselves,
but you're staying here.
What sense does that make?
Yeah, forget that.
Hand me a gun.
Give me a gun, too.
How long do you think we'll last here alone without you?
Look, I thought we agreed on this last night.
Lat night's not today.
Today I'm going with you.
And so am I.
-Me too. -Me too.
Yep.
I'm with them, Dollface.
Up to now I thought you had a brain, but now I'm not so sure.
OK.
Hold it right now.
[oinking]
JENNINGS (ON LOUDSPEAKER): Survivors of Flight 777,
I know you can hear me.
I'm Bill Earl Jennings, the commander
here on the Isle de Providencia.
[oinking]
I have spoken with your friend, Roger Kirkland.
And I know he is telling the truth.
All bloodshed has been a--
[oinking]
--regretable mistake.
But there's no need for there to be anymore.
Put down your weapons.
[oinking]
And come in.
We will arrange tran-- tran-- tran-- transportation for you.
Transportation?
Yeah, right.
He's full of shit.
He'll never let us off this island.
Not with what we know.
Never happen.
This is Roger Kirkland, the Roger Kirkland.
Taylor, can you hear me?
They believe me.
We should have stayed right there on the beach.
I was right all along.
Come on.
Come on in.
The war is over.
Come on in.
[oinking]
He's is a Wall Street man through and through.
Only this time he's not conning widows and orphans.
He's got me to deal with.
All right, consider yourself a goddamn rear guard
if you like, but stay here.
Hey, I want to be with you.
Tonight.
[music playing]
Who the hell are they?
Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left,
right, left, right, left, right, left,
right, left, right, left--
Those guys were wearing fatigues yesterday.
They're the terrorists.
How come they're dressed like civilians?
SEAN: Well, how would you dress if you're a terrorist
cruising into America?
There's Kirkland, walking around with the terrorists
like he own the place.
Looking confident as hell.
[music playing]
Yeah, for a dead man.
We better start figuring out a way
to stop that boat from leaving.
Right, left.
Move it.
Left, right.
Turn to the left.
Left, right.
That truck, that's filled with explosives.
That truck over there.
Why don't we take them out their own favorite tactic?
A truck bombing.
You realize that's a suicide mission.
I'm volunteering.
Listen--
No.
You listen.
I'm an old man with cancer.
Now that my wife's gone, I've got nothing to live for.
At least give me something worthwhile it die for.
All you gotta do is get me down to that truck
and provide me with some covering fire.
What do you say?
[music playing]
Come on, big guy.
You can do it.
That's it.
Wait for me, I'm scared.
Shit.
[music playing]
I think they're just within range.
Three, four, five.
All guys, let's go.
Not bad for a pinko pacifist.
Not bad for a used car salesman.
It's a miracle any of us made it this far.
Yeah.
That thought's crossed my mind.
Keys in the ignition.
Well, we got one problem.
They're going to hear the minute we start up the truck.
Not if we have a diversion.
Look, I'm going to go around back.
When you want me to cut lose, raise your arm.
When you hear the return fire, start that ignition.
-Hey, way a minute sargeant-- -No.
Hey nothin'.
You keep forgetting.
TOGETHER: Airborne.
I don't know whether he's a psycho or just crazy.
Hey, he may be a psycho, but he's not crazy.
Listen, how you gonna pull the ring?
With my teeth.
Good luck, Hardwick.
OK.
Hurry up.
Let's go.
Don't forget the contaminated medical supplies.
Tomorrow America will be in chaos.
Hurry up, you idiots.
[music playing]
[gunfire]
You dumb, one-armed son of a bitch.
Why'd you get yourself shot?
[yelling]
Let's pull back.
[gunfire]
No way, man.
We're dead.
We're not dead 'til I say we're dead.
[gunfire and screaming]
Shit.
I'm empty.
Pull some off the dead.
We'll never make it.
What the hell is going on?
[music playing]
[yelling]
OK.
Fire.
Here I come.
Look's like we have some reinforcements.
[laughter]
I'd say our asses just got saved by some pussies.
Oh, my God.
[explosion]
You never listen to me, do you?
Thank God.
Lydia, come on.
Hey, grandma.
And that.
[oinking]
[laughter]
[screaming]
Oh, shit.
[explosion]
With a pair like that, I'll let you keep 'em.
Hurry up, you idiots.
Start the boat.
Take off.
[music playing]
[yelling]
You want my baby?
There.
I have just about had it with you terrorists.
Oh, Lydia.
That was easier than I thought.
Let's go.
[gunfire]
[spanish music playing]
Adios.
Airborne.
[yelling]
JENNIFER: I can hear you.
I can hear you, you bastards.
I can hear you.
I'm gonna take all your goddamn ears.
You bunch of pussies.
You can't even shoot straight.
Come on.
Oh, shit.
You ain't gonna get old Parker's ears.
Airborne.
Maria, cover me.
Shit.
Come on.
I can't.
Sean, look out.
Sean, no.
Kirkland, you're mine.
They're all dead.
Cooney, I think it's your turn, buddy.
Yankee Doodle went to a whorehouse just to ride a pony.
Look out.
Cooney's going for the truck.
Cover him.
That was for you, old timer.
America.
[explosion]
[music playing]
Kirkland.
You sick piece of shit.
I'm gonna take your fucking ears.
Back to the car lot you stupid redneck.
Kirkland.
Hey, hey.
I'm glad to see you guys.
We won.
We-- we won.
Uh, hey, how'd you like the way I went undercover?
I infiltrated the campfire, I made a deal so that we
could set up the ambush.
Roger.
TAYLOR: Three, four, five.
I was saving the last one for someone very special.
[music playing]
The fault, dear Parker, is not in our stars, but in ourselves.
I know Cooney and Parker ever saw eye-to-eye.
But unlike those terrorists, they died for a reason.
This was made unlikely heroes out of all of us.
Unlikely heroes?
What are you talking about?
They're all dead?
Maria, Parker, Cooney.
Oh, Cooney.
I can't live without him.
Yes, you will.
No, I can't.
Yes, you will.
I can't live without him.
Let's get out of here.
Airborne.
[music playing]
Oh, my God.
Mommy.
Where did you find her?
She was sitting on a pile of ammunition.
Seemed to like to grenades the best.
Oh, you did, did you?
I told you we'd find her.
[music playing]
[whistling]
It's Cooney.
Oh, thank God he's alive.
Cooney?
Jennifer.
Cooney.
Is it really you?
[laughter]
He's alive.
Hey, St. Elmo, you know, I had you pegged for a dead hero.
How'd you manage to get out alive?
Figure my chances would do better
if I jumped from that truck rather than stay in there.
A full-fledged hero, you are.
What made you try it in the first place?
Why are you surprised, sweetheart?
We'll all in this together.
America.
[cheering]
[music - chris demarco, "alive"]
DIRECTOR: OK.
Everybody come back in and wave.
CAMERAMAN: Wave everyone.
LLOYD KAUFMAN: Dead people, wave.
Beautiful.
Excellent.
Cut.